Another tragic death: How can parents/schools stop bullying?
A heartbreaking story on the front page of AJC.com today, an 11-year-old boy from DeKalb County hung himself last week after he was bullied relentlessly at school, his family said. Here’s the link to the story and some excerpts.
From the AJC story:
“On Thursday afternoon, after returning home from Dunaire Elementary School, Jaheem Herrera quietly went into his room and hanged himself. His 10-year-old sister, Yerralis, also a fifth-grader, discovered Jaheem’s dead body.”
“Jaheem was bullied relentlessly, his family said. Keene said the family knew the boy was a target, but until his death they didn’t understand the scope.”
” ‘We’d ask him, ‘Jaheem, what’s wrong with you?’” Keene recalled. ‘He’d never tell us. ‘ ”
“He didn’t want his sister to tell, either. She witnessed much of the bullying, and many times rose to her brother’s defense, Keene said.”
“They called him gay and a snitch,” his stepfather said. “All the time they’d call him this.”
“In an interview with WSB-TV, the boy’s mother, Masika Bermudez, also said her son was being bullied at school. She said she had complained to the school.”
“Earlier this month the suicide of a Massachusetts boy, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover – who suffered taunts that he was gay – attracted national attention.”
“He was also 11. His mother found him hanging from an extension cord in the family’s home.”
“Jaheem was excelling academically, Keene said, adapting quickly to his new home. The family moved to the Avondale Estates area less than a year ago from St. Croix in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Last winter, his grandmother died from cancer. She was living with the family at the time.”
We have a friend who has a very thin, small little guy in middle school. He was being bullied constantly. The parents went to the school multiple times and the principal assured them he would be protected. The last straw was when his head was shoved into a toilet at school and the kids flushed it on him. The parents pulled the child from the school and are now having to homeschool just to protect him. I’m not sure if they are taking any legal action against the school.
Jaheem’s story leaves me wondering many things:
How rampant is bullying? What can the schools do to stop it? How can you know as a parent when it’s happening? How can you judge how severe it is? What can we say to siblings who might be able to share what is going on even when the child will not? Are the schools liable in this type of case?
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214 comments Add your comment
Tina
May 18th, 2009
12:29 pm
I am absolutly appalled at the neglect of the few ohio school systems I know of. I recently moved here from N.H. and within three months of my childrens enrollment in the public school in Oberlin I had no choice but to pull them from public schooling and start homeschooling.
I have personally spoken to many of the teachers in this school system and they have all said the same thing. There IS a no bullying policy however.. its only on the books and is not impimented. The teachers are not permitted to enforce these rules and chaos is the order of the day.
I would not have been concerned if 1 or 2 had said the same thing but were talking at least a dozen that I spoke to said the same thing.
Perhaps this is what is happening in Mentor. That there is a no bullying policy in place… however it is not enforced nor even really implimented at all.
I think its time parents demanded a change in the schooling of these children. They need a safe secure enviorment. Apparently they really do NOT care about these children whose life and growth have been placed into their hands. They need a wake up call and more parents to go to meeting and say hey whats up with that? QUESTION QUESTION QUESTION your schools and thier tactics..
I hope the Mentor parents win I hope they get they get satifaction knowing that they are doing the right thing!
Mel
May 20th, 2009
12:23 pm
I am appalled and disappointed with the finding from the independent investigation on the bullying of the young man. DCCS should hang their head in shame. Hopefully, the parents of Dunaire Elementary, will not sit passively and allow the principal nor his support staff to remain in the school system.
My 13 year old daughter was taunted by a couple of jealous girls in her dance class at Hooper Elementary. When I noticed the demeanor and facial expression of my daughter one day, I pressed her for an explanation. She revealed 3 girls were teasing her daily in school. That night I emailed the principal, their teachers and my attorney. I advised the administrators of my intent should they not resolve the situation immediately. By 8:30 that morning, I received a call from my daughter’s instructor. All of the parents were notified and were outraged with their children’s behavior. All of the girls were required to apologize. We never had another problem again. Parents document, document, document. Email your concerns so you can have a time and date stamp of each incident. My heart and prayers go out to the family. I hope they sue the school DCCS, the families and the principal. Justice delayed is not Justice denied.
Emily Crane
June 17th, 2009
1:33 pm
It’s unfortunate that some parents have to take their children out of school to keep them protected! Students–especially those who are bullied–need to feel empowered so they can defend themselves against bullies. (Nonviolent is always preferable.) I work at SchoolTipline, and we are trying to give each student the opportunity to report bullying and other school crimes to school officials. It takes effort from everyone to take a stand against bullying: parents, students and especially school administrators.
Check out our site and join the fight against bullying! http://www.schooltipline.com
Sandra McLeod Humphrey
September 26th, 2009
12:41 pm
The results of a recent study found that relational bullying is now as prevalent among boys as among girls which surprised me. It probably shouldn’t have, but it did. When I do school visits, we role-play different bullying scenarios, so that the students can experience the same situation from the perspective of the bully, the bully’s target, and the bystander. Hopefully, this increases student empathy which seems to be lacking these days.
Raz Chan
November 1st, 2009
1:19 pm
Building self-confidence in your child through martial arts training will go a long way in helping to get rid of bullies. As a full-time self-defense instructor I know first hand from experience at what martial arts can do for an individual’s personality. Remember that the authority figures cannot be at your side 24/7. Bullies will always victimize people who they perceive as weaker then them. If you are not an easy target they will move on to someone else.
Raz Chan
http://www.ihatebullies.net
justin
November 4th, 2009
10:04 am
that is sad, that the boy had to kill him self just to stop the bullying. and his school did nothing to stop the bullying, just like my school, creekview high, of canton, ga.
Sandra McLeod Humphrey
November 4th, 2009
4:47 pm
When I do school visits as a children’s author, we role-play different bullying scenarios, so that the students can experience the same situation from the perspective of the bully, the bully’s target, and the bystander. Hopefully, this increases student empathy which seems to be so lacking these days.
tamara bendas
November 14th, 2009
11:13 pm
YA the schoold do not protect our kids my daughter has had a problen in school since the 3rd grade and they have done nothing ..they say they will handle it but like everyone says NOTHING it had started out with just name calliing and no my daughter wasnt inacent she also did the same to the girl but that is not the problem now she is in 5th grade where the same girl from 3rd grade is and now the girls sister is also in the school which eggs it on for the girl to physicly hurt my daughter she has been knocked down with a book bag by the older sister and they stomped on her hand and her fingers were swollen and NOTHING then was pushed down a flight of sament steps and hurt elbow was also swollen … and when she was in hall my daughter was going to pull her hair up and the girl stabed her with a pencial lucky she didnt ge5t my daughters eye ..reported it all …even talked to the school cop and nothing again ..at first i thougfht he was going to help but just like the rest of them nothing we had a meeting and the cop told mr that my daughter is a lier and none of it happend and that i need to get her help because she lies so much she belives it and they saw the marks on her from the pencial and they said she did it her self and is just trying to blame the girl which her friends saw it and they say there just sticking up for her..so i have no idea where to go with it now ..i just pulled her out of school and she is going to stay with my mom and go to school there but we are also move there in nov so we can save money to buy a house and also at the meeting i had told them we might be moving and the guidence counslder said well i go get the paper work now and we can start it well that was in aug now its nov ..i was so mad .so now all i can do is talk to an attorney about our rights ..also several other parents are have the same problem with the girl.so ill have to see how it all works out i just hope my daughter dont ever have to deal with any of this again ..
simone
November 27th, 2009
6:32 am
oh my god the poor child i feel really sorry for you
Mike
December 20th, 2009
10:02 pm
Have you seen the book The Fat Boy Chronicles? Through the journal of a bullied and obese 9th grader, it gives a realistic view of high school life. The authors have been speaking to schools around the South about bullying, obesity, the importance of journaling and how the book has been made into a movie. The response to the book has been great with teachers using the book in health and lit classes. It is required reading at Kennesaw State and will soon be seen by over a million middle schoolers in a partnership with HopSports. The book is endorsed by Children’s Healthcare of ATL. Check out the trailer at http://www.thefatboychronicles.com As a former teacher, I think you will find the book an excellent tool to create discussion about bullying and obesity among students.
Thomas
February 6th, 2010
3:04 am
Interesting true story about bullying and what later happened to the bully: http://growingupinvegasduringthe80sand90s.blogspot.com/2010/02/tom-and-sociopath-bully.html
LindyLouCantu
March 31st, 2010
6:58 pm
When I went to the school over concerns about my 11-year-old son being bullied at his new
school in Lake Arrowhead, CA, I was told by the counselor that he would just need to get over it and deal with it–that it was a normal part of learning to get along. I had explained that he was in tears many mornings and begged not to go to school. I was treated in a very patronizing way and made to
feel that my son and I were in the wrong. I left feeling furious, disrespected, and unheard. If these
are the prevailing attitudes among school administrators, then no wonder bullying persists.
Mrod4
May 19th, 2010
1:40 pm
I recently read The Bully in ME by MG Villesca. It was one of the first books that I’ve read that is written through the point of view of the bully. It made me angry but it was great for some of my students. As a teacher who constantly deals with bullying in the school, I had to do something. This books comes with discussion questions and a website with worksheets that go along with the book. A great find.
Johnny
July 20th, 2010
2:23 pm
Hi,
Bullying is a massive issue and every parents nightmare.
Every parent should check this website out as it has tons of useful information on bullying for children to help them tackle this very serious issue.
Johnny
http://www.wix.com/SpeakUpToYourTeacher/Order-page