Another tragic death: How can parents/schools stop bullying?
A heartbreaking story on the front page of AJC.com today, an 11-year-old boy from DeKalb County hung himself last week after he was bullied relentlessly at school, his family said. Here’s the link to the story and some excerpts.
From the AJC story:
“On Thursday afternoon, after returning home from Dunaire Elementary School, Jaheem Herrera quietly went into his room and hanged himself. His 10-year-old sister, Yerralis, also a fifth-grader, discovered Jaheem’s dead body.”
“Jaheem was bullied relentlessly, his family said. Keene said the family knew the boy was a target, but until his death they didn’t understand the scope.”
” ‘We’d ask him, ‘Jaheem, what’s wrong with you?’” Keene recalled. ‘He’d never tell us. ‘ ”
“He didn’t want his sister to tell, either. She witnessed much of the bullying, and many times rose to her brother’s defense, Keene said.”
“They called him gay and a snitch,” his stepfather said. “All the time they’d call him this.”
“In an interview with WSB-TV, the boy’s mother, Masika Bermudez, also said her son was being bullied at school. She said she had complained to the school.”
“Earlier this month the suicide of a Massachusetts boy, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover – who suffered taunts that he was gay – attracted national attention.”
“He was also 11. His mother found him hanging from an extension cord in the family’s home.”
“Jaheem was excelling academically, Keene said, adapting quickly to his new home. The family moved to the Avondale Estates area less than a year ago from St. Croix in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Last winter, his grandmother died from cancer. She was living with the family at the time.”
We have a friend who has a very thin, small little guy in middle school. He was being bullied constantly. The parents went to the school multiple times and the principal assured them he would be protected. The last straw was when his head was shoved into a toilet at school and the kids flushed it on him. The parents pulled the child from the school and are now having to homeschool just to protect him. I’m not sure if they are taking any legal action against the school.
Jaheem’s story leaves me wondering many things:
How rampant is bullying? What can the schools do to stop it? How can you know as a parent when it’s happening? How can you judge how severe it is? What can we say to siblings who might be able to share what is going on even when the child will not? Are the schools liable in this type of case?
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214 comments Add your comment
fer
April 21st, 2009
12:28 pm
I don’t have time to read all the comments right now but I will before the day is over.
When I was a teacher, we spent many hours trying to prevent or deal with bullying. It’s frustrating. In some ways it seems that bullying has always been with us; I know I was bullied but it never bothered me all that much. In all the years I taught, I never felt that we had a handle on bullying.
My own two children were bullied and still, as adults, have some scars. In retrospect, I think I should have done more to address the bully instead of trying to help my own two to deal with it and move on.
I really don’t know what the answer is.
momofabulliedson
April 21st, 2009
12:29 pm
I am sorry, I meant to say, my prayers GO out to you. I am just so sad by this, my words are just all over the place.
Active Duty Mom
April 21st, 2009
12:42 pm
Having survived the DeKalb County public school system in the 1970s-1980s and survived being bullied in elementary and high school (there were no middle schools at that time), I can tell you first-hand that the teachers and the administration did NOTHING and yes Rene, you’re right in that the bullies are usually the preps who are seen as gods in the teachers’ eyes. Unfortunately, we have to teach our kids that the bullies don’t go away when you graduate. I’ve had to stand up to bullies throughout life in different forms both in school and in the workplace. Yes, I have taught my now school-aged kids to fight back and informed them that if they are bullied even once to go after the kid(s) that bullied them as if you were going to kill them with your bare hands and don’t stop until the would-be bully(ies) are on the ground begging for mercy and kicked until they are bloodied. I have taught my kids how to break bones and other dirty street-fighting techniques that I have learned in self-defense classes in order to defend themselves from being carried off by strangers or attacked by bullies, which is exactly what the aim of a bully is–to attack their target. Bullies don’t give a darn about their target’s feelings and how to get along through non-violence. They are out to make themselves feel better and look good to the toadies that follow them. It has been my experience that unless a bully knows that you can and will potentially kick the crud out of them, they will never leave you alone. That being said, I also taught my kids that if my husband and I ever hear from one of their teachers that they are bullying a kid, that after they get a spanking from me or my husband (yes, my husband and I spank our children–deal with it) we will both will personally drag their tail to their accuser and let their accuser wail on them for a while with no holds barred.
StopPC
April 21st, 2009
12:43 pm
Stop the political correctness. If a child is bullying and the parent has been warned, the second incident with this child should result in his name along with the parents name being published for everyone to see! Let the other parents demand an explanation from the parents why their child continues to bully. Once the names are published, the parents should be required to take action to stop their child from bullying at their expense! Failure to do so, or another bullying incident from that child should result in expulsion from all schools in the state of GA. Put pressure on parents and school systems to act. We want our kids to stand up to bullying but parents and school systems should set the example! If the parent of a bullying child does not care,then the babysitting service called, public school, is taken away!
Jeffrey G. Marsocci
April 21st, 2009
12:43 pm
Thank you for writing about this. While people may have differences of opinion on issues like gay marriage, I see no legitimate difference of opinion on whether or not students should be bullied because they are gay or even accused of being gay. It is tragedies like this that make anti-bullying laws critical to our schools so that we don’t end up with a school system where children can be strip searched and arrested for carrying Advil, but driving a child to suicide is legally OK. Thankfully, it looks like NC will have such a law soon.
Donnie Corbett
April 21st, 2009
12:44 pm
All of the staff at this school who were made aware of this kid bulling and did not intervene should be fired. But if this kid would have taken any kind of weapons to this school to protect himself he would have been expel from school ASAP. My prayers are with this beautiful family.
Another Frustrated Teacher
April 21st, 2009
12:53 pm
This situation is so sad and heartbreaking. This baby should not have had to go through what all he went through and he DEFINITELY should not have had to die for it. I am also a teacher who has had enough of the bullying, the misbehaving students, the non-responsive parents, the BULLY parents, the lack of discipline, and the list goes on!
PARENTS!!!!: We get what you send us! If your child is a bully, guess what?? YOU sent us a bully. Chances are, if you sent a bully to school, you too are a bully and you don’t see anything wrong with it! I have to take up for the schools because as teachers and administrators, our hands are tied behind our backs as to what we can do to combat unfavorable behavior. If the “proper” action is taken against students who do the behaviors (which would include student evidentuary hearings, extended suspensions, and expelling students), we get sued or the media is called because we are “picking” on your child. And then half the time when your child is suspended, you send them to school ANYWAY because you don’t feel like taking off work to deal with it. So how does THAT make the students who are the victims feel?? To them, nothing is being done, when in fact, things are being done but the parents of the problem children fight us on it. It is not fair to US when we have to spend half of our time disciplining children instead of teaching. If we don’t discipline, those children are such a disruption to the rest of the class, that the other students cannot learn in a safe and peaceful environment.
For those of you who want to BLAME THE SCHOOLS, ADMINISTRATORS, and TEACHERS for what happened to this baby… why don’t you try coming to do our jobs! Put yourself in our shoes. We not only have to be teachers, we have to be MOTHERS, COUNSELORS, NURSES, DISCIPLINARIANS, and MEDIATORS… all without getting too close, hugging too tight, saying the wrong things, paying too much attention, paying too little attention, being too nice, being too mean… and the list goes on. Teachers have to work magic! There is no other way to put it. And when you have a teacher who TRULY cares (like the vast majorit of us) we find a way to make each and every child feel special and loved in their own way. SO PLEASE… don’t go there with blaming the teachers and administrators for the problems that children come to school with. In all actuallity, it starts at home.
I was bullied as a child and instead of being told to beat up the ones who bullied me, I was affirmed at home. I was taught that I was better than that and I didn’t have to stoop to their level. I was told at home that I was a beautiful person inside and outside. This is what helped me get past being bullied and I came out a stronger person. I have never beat up anyone (and I have never been beat up BY anyone). As an adult, I know that when life is hard on you, you don’t have to beat up the people that make it hard. You deal with it, work throuh it and move on. I just wish this child that died had the chance to be taught to do the same thing. . .
devildog
April 21st, 2009
1:06 pm
Try “Bullyproof Your Child,” by three-time national karate champion Keith Vitali. Oprah featured it on one of her shows and that should enhance its credibilty. Keith teaches karate but the book is more than just fighting. One chapter has a section–Walk Away, which isn’t a bad idea. Consider that the victim of bullying at most schools–if he/she fights back–gets the same punishment as the bully. Anyone else see anything wrong with that? Get the book. It doesn’t have ALL the answers but it moves you way ahead of the curve.
Black Girl
April 21st, 2009
1:17 pm
vjones gimme a break! I am light skinned as well and believe me I’ve been called “light, bright and almost white,” “yellow” “high yellow” and anything else. Sure, some people were jealous of me. But I don’t think that if your hair is short and you’re dark skinned then it’s got to be jealousy. My half white mom was talked about as well. My brother got the hazel/green eyes and sandy brown hair and was called “white boy” by his peers. Anytime you’re different than everybody else, you’ll be talked about. Imagine your entire family being the subject of conversation in your neighborhood! I never really cared. My son told me recently that kids taunted him about being light skinned. I told him if it wasn’t his complexion it would be something else! My brown skinned daughter has straight hair, so even though she’s obviously black, she’s constantly told that she has “white girl’s hair”. This never ends! Every light skinned black person in America has dealt with that. And every brown skinned person in America has dealt with being called opposite names. I really think you’re exaggerating.
It’s important that parents talk to their kids. As an educator, I see kids being picked on for the simpliest things. Being called gay is a part of the norm now. I won’t allow it in my class. We discuss our differences and I try and teach tolerance. Bottom line…parents must begin communication; with their kids and the school.
Ms White
April 21st, 2009
1:24 pm
My heart goes out to this family.What a disgrace. A disgrace, because the teachers, and faculty members of that school, should have called these childrens parents to the school long before this situation got to this point.They should all be fired or reassigned because they have rules and policies that they make that these students have to follow It is evident they don’t abide by their own policies.There are to many teachers and faculty members that are just out for the money and are afraid of these children. If you can’t do the job; they don’t need the job.They are at fault for not addressing this situation when the child first started makeing complaints, “Harassment is Harassment”, Stop means Stop”.
Ms White
April 21st, 2009
1:36 pm
In answer to your question on “HOW TO MAKE BULLYING STOP”. Start suing the School System and the parents of the bully or bullies.When you start bring attention to the system and the parents, and start taking money out of their pockets you going to see a change in the bully and bullies, and policies start to change.
A Mom
April 21st, 2009
1:38 pm
To A Frustrated Teacher — WE APPREICATE ALL YOU DO. Most of us parents would like to give you more power and more pay.
BJ
April 21st, 2009
1:40 pm
To Another Frustrated Teacher…I FEEL YOU!! You are telling the truth!! Wouldn’t it be very interesting for all of the people who wish to blame the teachers and administrators for this tragedy to spend just ONE day in their shoes!! Let us all pray for this family!!
Joey
April 21st, 2009
1:50 pm
My heart goes out to this family. Sorry, I’m going to get bashed but it’s the teacher’s fault. I can’t be with my child at school all day but teachers are paid to be there. It is their job to educate, nuture and discipline. This has ALWAYS been the role of an educator. If you thought you were just going to go to school write on the chalkboard and pass out crayons then you were sadly mistaken. My job requires more than one function and so does a teacher’s job. Try telling your boss that’s not your job duty and get a look on his/her face. Somehow it’s ok that a teacher tells me that she can’t help my daughter because that isn’t her job to police the students??? Give me a break.
Another Frustrated Teacher
April 21st, 2009
1:53 pm
RE: Ms. White
YOU do not know what was done or was not done in regards to this boy being bullied at school. You are not aware of the actions that were taken in order to address the situation. Its not your place to say that somebody needs to be fired or reassigned. Nobody needs to be fired or anything else because there are certain procedures in place that WERE followed and just because they are not what YOU want them to be, does not mean they are wrong procedures. Once again, my heart goes out to this boy and his family. I can’t imagine going through it and I pray that nobody else has to go through it. WITH THAT SAID…. part of the responsibilit still lies at home! Nobody is talking about the fact that this boy was not at the school in his district. If his mom knew he was being bullied so bad, why didn’t she move him to the school he was supposed to be attending?? What was done on her part to protect her own child?? I know that is hard to swallow, but WE (TEACHERS) ARE NOT THE ENEMY HERE. We are here to help these children and we do the best we can.
(BTW, it is SOOO not about the money… We Don’t Make Much.)
Teacher, Too
April 21st, 2009
2:02 pm
I was bullied in private school in Florida. I couldln’t wait to get back to public school. Kids teased me unmercifully– which is definitely a form of bullying. Mean boys would dare each other (with a price of a couple of dollars) to ask me on a “date.” Then they would laugh. It was absolutely humiliating. I am over 40 now, and I still haven’t forgetten the teasing, name-calling, and pure meaness of those private school kids (in middle school).
I mostly found the pretty, popular, monied kids the ones who were the meanest bullies in high school. If they didn’t like you, forget it! They could make your life miserable.
The way my parents told me to handle the teasing/bullying was to ignore it. Life wasn’t fair.
Didn’t help me get through school, though. I remember being absent a lot in elementary school. In middle and high school, I joined my synagogue youth group. It got me through some tough times.
Ms White
April 21st, 2009
2:04 pm
Re:Another Frustrated Teacher: Did it make a difference what school this child went to? Policy is Policy and teachers need to follow them you have the upper hand, or what part of that don’t you understand.
Kym aka Southern Girl (Gal)
April 21st, 2009
2:12 pm
No Frustrated you are not the enemy but if you are not going to actively do your part you are not a friend either. Teachers it is your job to teach, and I don’t care how much everyone looks for blame teachers, along with the parents, along with the administration failed that child. Teachers failed because they did not listen. Administrators failed because they did not listen. And the parents failed because they should have after numerous complaints filed charges against the bully and his parents. Yes there will be a lawsuit and most likely it will be against the county for wrongful death. It won’t bring the child back, it won’t fix the problems in the school. Parents if you want to know how to make change in the schools you do it at the voting booths. Next election vote out the school board. Go to the board meetings and demand that they enact effective procedures to deal with bullies. Demand that school officials do their part and parents take responsiblity when your little angel acts up. Teachers yeah your job is hard but you knew that going in, if you have a disruptive child you can’t control then demand a meeting with the parents if they don’t show, involve the school counselor, still no go, then bring on DFACS. Yes I know parents work, but we live in a technology overload world. There is email and text messaging and cellphones. Parents if you can’t make it to the school email the administrator, schedule a conference call on your lunch. Someone said it before Be Involved. Make the effort. If the school falls short, go to the area super, go to the school board.
Tim
April 21st, 2009
2:33 pm
My son is a junior at Flowery Branch High School in Hall county. He has been bullied ever since 6th grade. I’ve always said there wouldn’t be any need for zero tolerance on weapons. If there we’re zero tolerance on Bullying.
devildog
April 21st, 2009
2:35 pm
To Another Frustrated Teacher, and the other teachers:
It’s what you signed up for, quit complaining and do your jobs. It’s certain that administrators won’t because they fear making waves above all else.
The reader who suggested lawsuits–and I hate lawsuits and lawyers equally–here’s one instance where a bit of spanking by lawyers might actually do some good.
OneChris
April 21st, 2009
2:41 pm
Bullying = Terrorist and so a surge of force stops it from getting worse. My Mom and Dad said if anyone picks on you whoop their ass! I only had to do that twice in all my school years but no one else did it to me ever again.
devildog
April 21st, 2009
2:46 pm
How about if school systems just dropped the zero tolerance on fighting back?
As one old friend used to say, “One good punch in the mouth is worth 10,000 words.”
Traci
April 21st, 2009
2:51 pm
I was bullied in Private School as a small child and public school as a middle schooler. The scars, physical and emotional, are still there. Two points that are forgotten. Kids are mean. Some can be kind or nice, and those are kids that get bullied. But the natural inclination of the childhood psyche is to be mean – they have not developed consciences or a complete understanding of consequences, and if they are not being raised with discipline and morals they never will. If we remember that children are mean, and parents are responsible for teaching them compassion (toward other children, animals, adults, the community) we can begin to formulate a strategy to make bullying an exceptional and isolated situation that never, ever, ever leads to suicide of a kind person.
Maybe if the teachers were allowed to discipline and assert authority in schools the bullies would have no opportunity to hurt the good kids, at least on campus. What happens off campus is the responsibility of the parents. That is the scary part. Whether the mean kids are the rich brats of gated communities or living in projects, the parents (or lack thereof) are at the root of the problem. Maybe no tax breaks for breeding kids until they have proven themselves decent citizens? Who knows, but we have to start placing accountability on the parents and systems that are creating monster people.
BJ
April 21st, 2009
2:52 pm
Devildog, teachers signed up to TEACH!!! Some of you really don’t have a clue!! You should become a teacher! Again, this is an awful tragedy, but so many of you don’t have all of the facts. You have listened to the news media. You just do not have all of the facts in this case!! I agree that the question must be answered that “if the child did not live in the district, why did they allow the child to stay at that school?” If he was being bullied, why didn’t they move him to his CORRECT school in his own district? I don’t understand that, either!!
tony
April 21st, 2009
3:06 pm
shoot them!!!
A Mom
April 21st, 2009
3:08 pm
Another Frustrated Teacher — you are obviously involved with the situation and should NOT be commenting. Your comments will be brought into court if needed.
In DeKalb so many kids don’t to their “home” school that it really doesn’t make a difference about communities anymore. All children where ever they are deserve to be safe.
Yes it all starts at home but in order to stop abuse from moving from one home to another – someone must stand up and stop it. If a child is being abused at home and therefore bullies another child it is up to any adult who witnesses the situation to step in. It has nothing to be with being a teacher – it has everything to do with being human.
Lisa
April 21st, 2009
3:18 pm
Sadly, I am not surprised by this. As long as Crawford Lewis is heading our Dekalb County Schools, things won’t change. Concerned parents are nothing more than “background noise” – isn’t that right Lewis?
My prayers are with this family. I can’t imagine losing a child this young. Unfortunately if this child had defended himself, in all of Lewis’ knowledge of all things education, it would have resulted in this poor innocent child being suspended.
My heart breaks for this child and this family. I am ready to kiss the ground and thank Jesus that my daughter graduates from this once great Dekalb County School System in just a month. I am fortunate that my daughter was never bullied but as parents we have to be the voices for our children.
If we create enough “background noise” I am sure that if Lewis didn’t pay attention, we can definitely get some from his superiors.
Brandon
April 21st, 2009
3:19 pm
Whip the bully’s a**.
Watch out for mama
April 21st, 2009
3:19 pm
Thank you Southern Girl for bringing up the notion that Mom’s influence is extraordinary. When I see someone treating my kid bad, the maternal instinct swells in me. I’ve confronted a couple of kids on the playground in the same tone of voice I would have scolded my own kid. I know parents don’t always know what’s going on, but they can always do something when they DO know.
And, thank you “Been There” for your perspective on having lived through it.
We can’t deny that bullying is going to happen, even in the heyday of the kinder generations there were bullies. We can’t change how people act, only how we chose to react to them.
I will absolutely get in the face of anyone who harms my child physically or mentally. I work with the teachers, asking how my kid behaves, how he reacts to the other kids.
Cammi317
April 21st, 2009
3:27 pm
LOL@Watch out for Mama…brings to mind that recent news story about the deputy who was picking up her daughter from school and jumped in to break up a fight where other girls were beating up her daughter. She pulled them apart and ended up having to fight the girls off of herself. Unfortunately, she ended up arrested. What exactly was she expected to do in that situation?
jim d
April 21st, 2009
3:28 pm
best way to stop a bully?
hang em
Rollo Tomasi
April 21st, 2009
3:36 pm
Growing up, my neighbor who happpened to be my best friend, his dad was a Golden Gloves boxer named Butch. To prevent kids in the neighborhood from being bullied at school, he would teach boxing to any neighborhood kid that wanted to learn if the parents agreed. My mom agreed and every Saturday morning and Sunday Afternoon I went next door and learned how to defend myself by using American Boxing. It was great! The physical conditioning was fantastic. This was back in the late 70’s early 80’s. My family moved when I was 15 and I went to a new school. I was picked on all the time by this one 16 year old who was held back a year. I never would fight him and I would just walk away. But one day, he punched me in the chest when I was walking down the hall. Once I got up, we got into a fight and I broke his nose. I got suspended for a week and the other kid was expelled. No one ever picked on me again through High School. I think that all kids should be taught self-defense, whether it be boxing or the martial arts. I know when my son is old enough, he will learn how to box as well.
ant banks
April 21st, 2009
3:36 pm
Enter your comments here
The Sarge
April 21st, 2009
3:44 pm
When I was a kid, I had my fair share of being on the receiving end of bully tactics. When I told my Dad, he suggested I “make an example” of the ringleader, which, for a fair-haired “B-personality” kid, was quite foreign…Not to go into the details of this particular story, the over-riding dilema seems to be that we insist on addressing problems of this nature with programs, policies, and procedures which, quite frankly, not only don’t work but seem to exaserbate the problem. While my little story goes back to the 50’s/Old School era, one has to wonder if, through all these programs, ad nauseum which we, as an “enlightened” society have developed, we haven’t really regressed in our collective responsibilities of producing generations of adults capable of resolving differences and truly embracing those things which make us all different, yet one.
I do not mean to seem indifferent to the tragedy which this family is enduring; is it not time, however, to discontinue relying on policies which do not work, and allow kids to resolve differences in a manner which seems to have worked throughout the ages? Have we become that afraid of eachother? If the “traditional” school yard fights, followed by paddlings by both teacher and principle seem too distasteful, than have the kids who cannot resolve their disputes don the boxing gloves, just as the Brothers and Nuns did not all that long ago.
To the parents and family of Jaheem, I ache for your loss.
Sarge
1911A1
April 21st, 2009
3:50 pm
Another teacher @ 11:09 am, you told my story as well.
I was mercilessly bullied, teased and picked on all the way through school. Instead of validating my feelings, my parents would offer hollow patronization such as, “roll with the punches” or the greatest lie of all, “sticks and stones.” I have had to deal with recurring episodes of major depression from adolescence on, and my adult life has been an unending litany of broken relationships and living far beneath my potential, simply because these age-old wounds still have not healed.
The death of this child is a terrible, terrible tragedy. I have to wonder, though…for every life that is ended as a result of cruelty, how many more are ruined?
Matt
April 21st, 2009
3:51 pm
There is always and instigator and there is always a victim in bullying cases. All kids that fight should not be treated equal. More time should be spent investigating who started the fight/s. A student that starts a fight or physically bullies or intimidates another student should be prosecuted. If the scholl knows about it and does nothing the school and/or administration should be prosecuted. We should not call it bullying any more. We should call it what it is. In physical cases it is assault and should be treated as such. Threats and intimidation should not be tolerated. If we went into our workplace and someone physically attacks us we would not tolerate it. But we expect our kids to try to learn as they are intimidated and attacked. Start expelling these bad kids. Do not punish kids that are defending themselves against these little predators!
Denise
April 21st, 2009
3:59 pm
Been There – thank God you made it thru and are able to share with us today.
Another Frustrated Teacher
April 21st, 2009
4:22 pm
RE: A Mom,
I do appreciate your support for teachers, and I completely agree with you about abuse and its need to be ended and not transferred from home to home. Just for the sake of saying so, I’m Not an involved party. I grew up in the area and just recognized that the place where they reported that he lived is not in the same community where the school is. They are in two different cities. But that’s neither here nor there at this point. But as a teacher, my heart is completely broken and torn. I do my job well and I strive to protect these kids. My heart goes out to his family. Now its time that as a community, we come together and see to it that this does not happen to anybody else’s child. Instead of us blaming this person and that person we should work together to find a viable solution to the problem. This little boy’s death does not have to be in vain. Let’s all keep his family in our prayers…
JYA
April 21st, 2009
4:23 pm
This is horrible. My prayers and condolences go out the family of Jaheem. I am stunned by the lack of support by the Dekalb County school system. This child was supposedly doing the right thing by reporting the bullying, but it seems nothing was done. I am certain there are many more children being bullied, but do not report it because they know the teachers and administrators will do little to nothing to stop the harassment and torture. Actually, the bullying might increase.
On the other hand, some parents nowadays don’t teach their children to respect other people and/or their property. A former neighbor’s son was so bad that he was kicked off the school bus several times for his behavior and was suspended from school countless times for bullying, fighting, cursing teachers out, etc., etc. This child learned his behavior at home. I witnessed and overheard the parents constantly fighting, name-calling, physical violence and outright disrespect for each other – all done in front of their kids.
Parents are first and foremost their children’s primary teachers. School teachers are there to assist the parent in educating the child, NOT to be the primary caregiver. I do not expect my children’s teachers to teach my kids values, morals, respect, or self-control. My kids were taught these things before entering school. The teachers can reinforce these things, but they are not responsible for my kids upbringing. Parents and teachers need to work together in EDUCATING children. But, if a teacher/administrator is aware of a problem, then I think it’s their responsibility to reach out to the parents to inform them and work together for a resolution.
Allen
April 21st, 2009
4:33 pm
Lisa–
“Dr.” Lewis’s superiors–the school board a./appointed him as a long-time insider who would support their network of cronyism and b./are dumber than a box of hammers. I think you could be louder than a busy day on the tarmac at Hartsfield and not get their attention.
If there is to be any change in DCSS it will have to be the route DC schools have taken, appointment of an outside, unaffiliated administrator empowered to clean up the mess and make it an educational system once again and no longer a jobs for friends and cheap car sales program.
mikki
April 21st, 2009
4:39 pm
Bullying is on a whole new level, the public school system does not take it seriously, I have a neice that had been bullied for the past three years (middle school), by the same group of girls, the school’s response was too relaxed, when she had enough, she fought for the first time in three years, she rec. a busted eye socket, a cracked lip and a horribly bruised face, to top it off she was suspended for 3 days, in which I don’t agree with, she had never been in any trouble, but the bullying by the same group of girls had taken a toll on her, that’s one reason why I chose private schoolfor my kids.
The parents of the bullies are to blame also, they condone that crap and sometimes even laugh about it, calling the victim of their bullying monster, a scary cat or other demeaning names, and why are children as young as 10 thru 13, so homophobic, apparently they hear their ignorant parents use such slures and laugh about it.
For as the schools are concerned, they are so worried about loosing money or getting the name of a “bad school”, they sweep it under the road, epeatedly. My heart goes out to the families of these children and nothing will bring their precious babies back, I just have one question “when are the schools/parents of bullies going to wake up, does another child have to take their own life! And why when the victim hits back, they are treated as the aggressor?
Bullying is so rampant, in an african american school, if your skin tone is of a dark nature, sometimes those kids are bullied. Kids are bullied for so many idiotic reasons, ex: religion, ethnic group, clothing (name brand, and the big kicker is for being smart (making good grades).
Dunair is an AA school, where half of the kids where name brands, when their parents can’t afford it, the school anthem is a rap song, the academic subject is probaly “the new apple bottom attire or what expensive sneaker is on the menu” and to speak good english or make good grades, is considered “being white” or a freak, I have heard parents refer to kids that make good grades as a nerd, in front of their children, not thinking that they are like sponges, soaking in everything, children need to be taught diversity, people are different and everyone has their own idividuality. Let’s work together to stop the bullying.
Lisa
April 21st, 2009
4:48 pm
Alan,
You are sadly correct. It is going to take a complete overhaul and I’m sure that won’t happen in my lifetime.
My daughter will graduate from Lakeside. I had hoped Wayne Chelf would present her diploma. Unfortunately, he actually cared about his students and taught them personal responsibility so he didn’t fit the “lick Lewis’ a$$” clique so he was reassigned then we lost him.
Lewis puts people in power that suit his agenda. I have as much business being the quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons as he has being the superintendent of DCSS.
Grammaw
April 21st, 2009
5:14 pm
Both of my kids went to Dunaire Elementary, and they had problems there from the beginning. I, personally, believe it is due to the extensive diversity, and is the big reason we moved to Gwinnett County. Now my own granddaughter is a student in Gwinnett, and it’s wonderful!
@free
April 21st, 2009
5:22 pm
The point I was making (which obviously went WAYYYY over your head) is that children spend more waking hours in school. Do you expect me to keep my child up until 2 or 3 a.m. so I can spend more time with him than you do? You sounded ridiculous with the point you ATTEMPTED to make.
The Nerd
April 21st, 2009
5:23 pm
My thoughts and prayers (including a lot of “Hail Mary’s) to the family of the bully victim. True, kids, preteens and teens are being victimized by being bullied and “Hitting the bully back” was so 1970’s.
Right now, bullies are using the internet and text messaging (and I still don’t know anything about it) to attack their “tormentees”. Parents of bully victims, do something about the situlation, talk to your kids, call the schools, the school boards, anything to prevent the same thing from happening again. Oh, BTW, homeschooling isn’t the answer.
@free
April 21st, 2009
5:25 pm
The point I was making obviously went WAYYYYY over your head. I simply said that more waking hours were spent IN SCHOOL than at home. Do you think I should keep my child up until 2 or 3 a.m. so I can spend more time with him that he spends in school? You sound ridiculous. Go back and actually READ what you wrote.
Gracie
April 21st, 2009
5:45 pm
I agree those students need to be held accountable and punished. Schools,not just in Atlanta,but all over do absolutely ZERO about bullying!
Teachers don’t want to hear about it, and if you tell the teacher nine times out of ten; it gets worse!The kid’s will be called snitches and get more bullying just for coming forward. My best advise is to get your kid into karate or some self-defense clas to improve their confidence and so they can atleast protect themselves, and if you are able: get them out of public/private school and homeschool.Please don’t expect teachers, schools, or principals to really do much about this issue because unless it’s “their child” that’s getting bullied; they are not the slighest concerned with yours. What people fail to realize is bullying is about the other person feeling so horrible about who they are as a person they inflict their pain and sorrow on another,and most likely all the times; the person doing the bullying is getting bullied at home or somewhere else. Dekalb also needs to change the zero tolerance because everyone has a right to defend themselves; is your child just supposed to stand there and let another kid or group of kids kick their butt, and do nothing;gimme a break!!
LJM
April 21st, 2009
5:45 pm
I’m so very sorry to hear this. Kids can be so cruel. I’m praying for his family. The schools need to wake up and get the bullies out.
madeinjapan2
April 21st, 2009
6:47 pm
My prayers go out to their family. I have an 11 year old son, and I could not imagine what they must be feeling and going through during this time of sorrow and grief.
These children are our future… how can we tolerate such negative behavior such as bullying,etc.? There are mothers and fathers out there afraid of their children, teachers afraid of their students… and for what? Parents need to step up and be PARENTS!!This is so sad… again, my prayers go out to the Bermudez and Keene family.
FCM
April 21st, 2009
7:02 pm
At soccer this weekend about 5-6 little kids (4-6 years old??) were picking on this one child. They were taunting and keeping some toy truck out of the kids hands. I of course stepped up to the plate. I told them there behavior was WRONG (not just not nice plain old every day wrong)…that if they did not know the word taunting to ask their parents it and then tell them that is what an adult said they were doing (they declined of course). I told them that it was a play ground and picking on child was WRONG so stop. Believe it or not they did!!!