Toddler enters naked phase while siblings find their modesty
With a six-year age difference between our oldest to our youngest we currently are experiencing an interesting dichotomy in developmental phases. I know that our sweet baby Lilina is truly a toddler now because she has entered the “naked phase.” Meanwhile, my almost 8- and almost 6-year-olds have finally discovered modesty.
I think many, if not most parents, would recognize the naked phase. For some odd reason at 2 they just don’t want to be dressed anymore. I think it’s because taking off their clothes is something they can finally control.
Lilina particularly likes to take her pajamas off and on. We put on her pajamas at night and while we’re finishing up with the other two, she strips herself back down to her diapers. She wants to run around in her towel that looks like Elmo. She wrestles and squirms and yells “No!” when we try to redress her.
We started a music class and last week she decided she didn’t need to wear pants during the class. I looked over and she was pulling off her pink sweatpants. I tried repeatedly to put them back on her but she wouldn’t have it. She would scream at each attempt. It was all ladies and little babies in the class and her diaper was covered by one long-sleeve onesie so I just gave in. (I know, I know. Bad mommy!)
Later that week I was trying to figure out what size dress to buy her at a store. I pulled off her top to see if the 24-month size was big enough and when I tried to redress her, she ran away and flopped around on the floor. Meanwhile, the sales ladies were loving her toddler tummy.
Friday when I took her out of her crib after nap, I realized she had taken off her pants, taken off her slightly wet diaper and put her pants back on inside out sans her diaper. (This may be a toilet training readiness sign as well.)
I think Lilina is just gearing up in this phase. When Rose and Walsh were this age, the nakedness was all day long. (Let me qualify naked by saying I insisted that everyone wore underwear or a diaper.) We would start the day out dressed but after preschool it was just a free for all. I didn’t care enough to fight with them about it. I’ll battle to the death to make sure they eat their vegetables or drink their milk, but I really don’t care if they’re not dressed as long as no one else sees them.
At the same time that our youngest has embraced her nakedness, our two oldest are really focused on keeping their bodies covered in front of us and especially in front of each other.
I think this focus on privacy and modesty has developed in part from lessons at school. They talk a lot at school, even in kindergarten, about keeping private parts private!
These talks have lead to Walsh becoming the nudity police for the family.
Every now and then Rose is thinking about something else and comes prancing naked through the hallway on her way to the bathtub. This now elicits a scream from Walsh “Rose is showing her private parts!”
He’s even gotten onto me before. I stepped out of the shower and went to help him do something in his room. Since they had been so focused on privacy I had wrapped a towel around myself. When I got in his room, he said “Mom you are showing your private parts.” I said, “Where?” And he pointed to my breastbone and top of my chest which is WAY above my breasts. (Believe me, way above!) I said, “That’s not private parts. That’s OK to show. People see that in a bathing suit.” He said “Oh.” He’s obviously still figuring out what’s really a private part.
While I completely agree that modesty is important and at this age probably appropriate for our family, I am a little sad that a little of our openness and innocence has ended. I am glad I still have one little person running around in her diapers and we don’t have to worry about what she sees or shows – at least not yet.
Do you remember the naked phase? Were your OK with it or did you keep trying to get them redressed? When did your kids discover modesty? How old were your kids when everyone started to cover up?
You can reach Theresa at ajcmomania@gmail.com. Ideas, comments and dilemmas for the community are all welcome.
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57 comments Add your comment
Tia Tiller
March 4th, 2010
5:12 pm
When me and other 2girls had went on a field trip (i do know the girls they are my friends) I am 15 and they are both 12. when it was my turn to take my shower, (us 3 girls had our own room we shared one room) one girl wanted to stay in the bathroom while I was about to take my shower I don’t know why . She tried everything just to stay in the bathroom with me, she fixed coffee , brushed her teeth, did her hair anything she could think of. So I just started taking off my clothes we I got to my bra and panties she started staring and that was when I put her out the bathroom. I didnt have a problem with her in their , but when she started staring , I had got uncompfortable. i wonder if i had did the right thing or not somebody please tell me.
Katie
June 17th, 2010
1:26 am
I am 15 and living with my parents and a 8 year old brother. A couple of weeks ago, I was asked to watch him while my parents were out for the day. We were having a blast with the hose and some of his water gun things, and when we were done, I was soaking wet. I had no change of clothes, so I stripped down completely and waited for my clothes to dry. During that time, my brother walked in the room and just stood there, staring. It took me a while to notice him, so he got a good look at my size D boobs and my vagina. I quickly covered myself, but it was no use. He was asking away!
“why don’t I have those?”
“where’s you’re pe-pe?”
And on, and on, and on… After a while, I stopped trying to cover myself up, and just started answering his questions… Until he asked to feel my breasts. I screamed at him and had him go to his room, where he wouldn’t be asking any more questions. Do you guys think that I handled it well? Cuz I’m not sure if I did… I just think he crossed some line.
Hannah Sue
June 17th, 2010
10:40 am
No, Katie, I think that you should have set him down and let him fell your breasts, as long as nothing sexual occurs. He was only curious about a girls body, so there’s nothing to be afraid of. I’m 18, and when I was 15, me and my brother had a big pantsing game going, so he has seen my vagina and I have seen his penis. My parents were also very strict About things, so when we would do something bad, we would be stripped down COMPLETELY, boobs, vagina, everything, and we would be spanked and then naked for the rest of the day, even with company. Once, my mom even did that to my dad! It was hilarious! But back to me, I think everyone that I know has seen me naked, and I don’t think it is such a big deal.
Anonymous
June 17th, 2010
8:49 pm
OMG so when I was 15, my parents would leave me alone with my 13 year old brother ( and i am a girl) some mornings. We also live in a real crappy house that’s doors sometimes lock on their own, but very rarely. This day my parents said that they’d be gone until 4:00. So right when I got up I stripped and walked to the bathroom. I walked into the bathroom and closed the door, but I didn’t hear the shower going until it was too late, the door had locked. My brother then looked in my direction and gave a surprised yelp. We both quickly looked for a towel, but, HEY, just my luck! There were none…Then he asked me to leave, and I explained. We then waited. After like a half hour, I realized that he couldn’t just stand in a tiny shower for another 7 hours. (the shower doesnt even have room to sit!) So I offered for him to sit out with me. He cautiously agreed, and walked out of the shower. I still hadnt stopped covering myself up, even though it was hard to put my arms around my boobs without revealing too much, and he was still covering himself too. He’s at that age where he’s “interested” in girls and there bodies, and he couldnt help staring at me trying to cover up myself. After a while, I got annoyed with him just looking at my boobs, so I stood up and said, “If you really want to look at me naked, then here you go!” and I stood up right in front of him and uncovered myself. He got all wide eyed and just sat there with his mouth open. We stayed like this for like a minute before I sat down.
It got awkward after that, so we just started talking, and somehow we got on the topic of naked guys/girls. I asked him what it felt like to have a penis and such, and he asked me how it felt to have boobs. He also asked how they felt, and it struck me by surprise, and I told him to feel them himself, and he let me feel his penis. It wasn’t sexual in any way at all, it was all just out of curiosity. After that, it got awkward for a while again, so he tried to get us to play a game, and we ended up playing sharades.
When my Mom finally came home, we were both screaming for her to open the door. It was really wierd explaining how it happenned, but being the understanding mom that she is, she believed us. Since that day, me and my brother have been much easier about nudity around the house, and it feels nice. I would recommend all parents to explain the opposite gender in a simillar way, because it took away all of the confusion about guys for me, (and I’ve noticed that my brother stopped looking at naked girls on the computer!)
Jessie H
June 18th, 2010
4:41 pm
Hey ive got a story to. So I was 17 and babysitting my 12 year old sister with my 16 year old guy cousin. We had just moved into our new house right near my cousins and I needed help movind boxes out to the pool. The boxes were realy heavy so I got my cousin to help me. I was in a string bikini cuz I just went swimmin and it was like 110 out. So we were carrying the boxes outside to the pool, and my sister came out while we werent looking and cut off my bikini top and bottoms then she ran away wth them!! So I was naked right in front of my cousin OUTSIDE with nothing to cover myself!!! And the worst part is she locked us out!!!! now I was really embarressed, and he was too, so I decided to jump in the pool to cover myself. After a while of waiting to get in, Noah (my cousin) wanted to come in, so he asked my sister for his swimsuit, and she said no. So he came back and told me, and then HE got naked and jumped in with me! We ended up having lotsa fun, and my sister noticed, so SHE came out and jumped in (with her swimsuit on). We got mad at her and ripped off her swimsuit. She got realy emberressed idk why tho cuz we were all naked, but she stayed in anyway. Once my mom found out she made my sister strip completely at 6:00 the next morning and kicked her outside for 12 hours! She even called over Noahs family and we were all outside the rest of the day. THAT was a fun day
The girl twin
June 19th, 2010
12:35 am
I am a fraternal twin, me being a girl and my twin being a guy. We are 15, and we share a room. (and a bed until 13) We have both started puberty and ive grown alot breast-wise, and id be called “attractive”, so we both try to avoid being naked in our room, but it happens. We didn’t start covering ourselves in front of each other until 14. Just last week, my cousins lost there house, so theyre staying with us, but we ran out of beds so my parents put my brother and me in 1 bed again. We both usually sleep with no clothes on, but we tried wearing pajamas for the first few nights but we couldnt sleep. He then wore only boxers, and I wore a large t shirt (like down to my knees). He seemed to do better but I still couldnt sleep. I told my parents and they told me to just keep trying. I decided that I couldnt take another 3 weeks of it, so I tried it naked. But when I woke up I found the covers on the floor, the door wide open and my brother really close to me and almost wrapped around me (not sexually just like he turned and his arms went over me) I dont want my 13 year old and 9 year old (both guys) cousins to see me naked, but I still want to sleep. What should I do?
P.S. I dont care if my brother sees me naked, or even sleeping next to me naked anymore (rather not tho), but I dont want my cousins or uncle to be seeing me naked.
The girl twin
July 13th, 2010
11:53 pm
Ugh thanks alot >:(
I think every guy in my house ended up catching me naked… Omg I’m just glad theyre gone