I have a couple of friends who grew up in New York and DC and now live in the south. After dating multiple southern women who had that “southern” upbringing, they report that dating a woman from their hometown is different. Not really bad or good, just different. It made me wonder if people who had different experiences growing up relate differently to those who did not.
I have a friend who refuses to date men from the north but that is because she had a couple of bad apples. Instead of recognizing her bad choice in men, though, she is convinced they were not a match because they were not raised in the south.
Do you think how/where we grew up shapes our dating experiences?
Have you ever noticed that you are more attracted to people from a specific city, state or region?
By Wise Diva
When people don’t like the behavior of the people they are dating, they can start to believe there is some form of game playing going on. A lot of times it isn’t necessarily game playing but trying to figure things out. Everything is not game!
I believe we get paranoid and find it hard to trust people when we should just have more patience. For example, just because you haven’t hooked up after several dates does not mean they are juggling a team of people and you are the benchwarmer.
I have found that there is a way to avoid game playing: honesty. If you suspect their inconsistent behavior or think they are playing games just ask them out right.
Do you believe that meeting people and dating is a game? If so what is the prize and when does the game end?
How do you determine when someone is running game on you?
By Wise Diva
I was reading a matchmaker’s advice recently and he was talking about deal breakers. Those things we convince ourselves we just can’t compromise or learn to live with it may not be that realistic!
Some times single people can be idiots and expect ridiculous things because we don’t know better. If you ask a couple about when they first met, they may tell you how they did not think they were the “prototype” at all. Life is funny that way and we realize that what we think we want is not really good for us.
The matchmaker said things like height, job title, hip to waist ratio, breast size, penis size, wealth and culture backgrounds are all things many of us should not focus so hard on.
Do you believe that having preferences and deal breakers becomes part of why so many of us disregard great potentials?
What are some things you believe should be dropped from the list of requirements? When was the last time you did a reality check on the deal breakers in your head?
I read a very strange recount on Twitter this weekend that horrified me. A woman told the story of how she was dating a great guy, who treated her respectfully, and had great credentials. Sounds like a dream right? Well she became suspect because Mr. Wonderful was not making moves to try to sleep with her. That’s right, the absence of red flags …well apparently is a red flag, well, to some people.
To find out why she wasn’t getting any sexual advances from the guy, she invited him over to get things started herself. Eventually it gets heated with kissing and “stuff” so he tries to pull back. He tells her he likes her and he is in NO rush. She is confused by this and keeps pushing on him to get closer. She starts to wonder if he is hesitant because he is embarrassed about his “size” and proceeds to pull his sweatpants down to expose him. Her suspicions are accurate because he was not measuring up to her standards. Can you imagine how this guy must have felt?! He moved her
I have seen people go from friends with benefits to exclusive relationship plenty of times. Things just sort of end up there after one or both realize they have feelings for the other. I even think that friends with benefits is a tool some folks use to baby step into a relationship.
I have never seen a relationship go from exclusive to friends with benefits, though. This is what one of our readers wants to know how to do: break up but keep the sex. Now it seems dangerous and slightly mean to me, so I won’t have a lot of advice for him! Do you think it is feasible if his girlfriend is open minded?
Have you ever started a no strings attached arrangement with an ex? Was it a good idea or a huge mistake? If you were to give it a shot, what is the best way to approach this?
Should you keep sleeping with an ex until a new person comes into your life?
By Wise Diva
Atlanta is full of successful, attractive and driven women. Women who run households, businesses, and hold political offices. These are the same women who would scoff at the suggestion that they approach or ask a man out. Why is that? Such go getters in professional life but not their love life.
I believe many of them think they don’t have to approach men. They are so used to getting hit on or approached, they expect to sit and be courted. What happens when they see someone who turns their head and he does not make a move first? Often times they let them go and wonder what could have been.
My guy friends tell me the get approached by women at times but it is rare. They feel flattered when it happens and it usually ends in a date getting scheduled. Why don’t women approach men? Surely in 2014, we don’t think this is a man’s job do we?
Guys when a woman approaches you, are you surprised? Do you usually end up asking for her number and asking her out if she made the first
Single people have to become really adept at figuring out who the time wasters are. There are some folks who have no real interest in dating someone for a relationship. They see dates as opportunities to gain attention, pass the time, or get meals and entertainment.
Some people even play the dating game so well, they just mastered the art of pretending to be really into you. While you believe you are getting closer, they are already plotting their exit. They are constantly on the look out for “something better” and you become the placeholder.
How can you determine if you are just a placeholder date? I can think of a few: They rarely ask you questions about your life. They don’t bring their friends or family around you. You don’t here about future plans beyond a week or two.
Have you ever been a placeholder date for someone? How can you tell when you are being used?
By Wise Diva
The competition of the dating scene in Atlanta can get stiff for some people. Finding ways to stand out and get noticed can be hard for some. That does not mean it is impossible, just challenging. This is why some people are better at it than others.
Have you ever spotted a couple and one them seems way more attractive? Ever wonder why a short man with little money has a super gorgeous tall woman? Have you seen a homely looking woman on the arm of a fine as wine man? How does that happen? It’s because looks are not all that it takes to get someone’s attention.
Sometimes sex appeal, confidence, and personality can make a person get noticed. My friend Kevin says that he sees so many guys “dating out of their league” here and it is becoming more commonplace.
When it comes to attraction, do you think dating in your league is a myth?
Aside from someone’s physical appearance, what else catches your attention?
By Wise Diva
When you have given a new romance ample time to bloom and it isn’t going anywhere, do you know when it’s time to call it quits? There are some single people who bail at the first sign of incompatibility, but there are others who don’t. When you are trying to figure out if you should stay or go, how do you know for sure which way to go?
My friend Jay says that if the sense of humor is not there, he knows they won’t last. I have another friend Crystal who believes that a man who complains about her pet dog can’t be the one for her. These are valid reasons for them but some people don’t see them as reasonable.
What are valid reasons to call it quits when you are trying to decide if you should be with someone? If you have any doubts, is that confirmation that it isn’t meant to be?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta
I have watched so many romances get derailed because they don’t understand how social media works. If you are a jealous person, prone to getting an attitude over minor stuff, stay off social media when you have a new partner.
Actually, working on your jealousy issues should be your first order of business but until you slay the green dragon, know your limitations! The innocent flirting on Facebook, the random tweets from someone you don’t even know in person, can lead to a ridiculous fight.
One friend decided he would unfollow his new girlfriend because she had too many male friends and social media connections. While he trusted her, he didn’t like the “slick” comments he would see. I think it was a smart move because they were bickering over it too much.
Do you believe that social media and technology makes it even harder to get a new relationship started?
Have you experienced any setbacks in dating because of social media habits?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in