I consider myself a romantic and hardcore believer in true love.  That being said, I don’t know if I buy into the idea that you can fall in love at first sight.  Have I seen incredibly beautiful men and swooned?  Absolutely. Did I want to pledge eternal love forever, ever (ever? ever?) – not so much.

I have heard people say that they knew the moment they laid eyes on their love.  I just question what that really means?  Can you actually fall in love with someone after one meeting? Is it the kind of love that lasts?  What if you fall for the image or idea of that person? What happens when their actual personality is revealed?

Maybe I am cynical but is love at first sight really possible?  Have you ever experienced it?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Believe in love at first sight? »

For single people, attraction is important and it can be the driving force to how we interact with each other.  Personality is what keeps us interested. When you consider them both, which do you believe is really more important?

I ask this question because I believe so many of us are drawn to what appeals to us physically first (obviously), but we would overlook a person’s awful personality.  If personality is so important to us, why is it that so often we let their looks influence our interest?

Do you believe that a person’s personality can make them more physically attractive over time?  I have heard some women say that the more they got to know a guy, the less attractive he became.  This makes me wonder where do we really place the most value, in looks or personality.

Have you ever met someone and felt no attraction to initially? Did they become more attractive to you over time?  What do you think that says about us?  How does that impact our dating behavior?

By Wise …

Continue reading Looks or personality? »

Have you ever heard the quote, “Women fake  orgasms, men fake whole relationships” – not sure who it is attributed to.  The fact that we can ever truly know who is faking one is pretty laughable.  We have discussed how you can meet a person’s “representative” and not know their true personality until much much later. That is actually a bit frightening when people take it too far.

What happens when you realize that the person you are seeing is pretending the sex is great?  Or worse, pretending they care about you just to get you in bed?

Can you ever really know if they are faking? Do you trust your instinct?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Are they faking? »

It’s truly a sad day when a woman is surprised that a man doesn’t make a move on her on  the first date.  Alas, many women think something is wrong when they meet men who aren’t expecting sex from them immediately.  Of course, men won’t go around advertising their willingness to wait for sex.  Why would they?  That doesn’t mean something is off or suspect when a guy can wait too.

I actually had to convince a friend of mine to give her new guy some time before you threw a red flag on him.  He wants to get to know you before you become physical.  This is what a lot of men do!

When I asked my friend when she thought he would expect sex from her, she said the same day he met her.  She was serious.  Just because someone is attracted to you, doesn’t mean they want to hop in the bed with you.  Maybe I am being naive.

When  it comes to expectations, do you think we read each other wrong sometimes?

Ladies, do you actually think most men want to bed you on the first date? …

Continue reading Dating: Sexpectations »

Yes, I referenced a Billy Joel song.   It’s a classic.  It also highlights what a lot of men think about the women they pick.  Whatever quirky, wonderful quality a man falls for in a woman, he doesn’t want to see it go away.  A lot of men prefer that  the woman they meet is the truest representation of her.  If or when she flips the script, things get complicated.  Men don’t like complicated.

I know a friend who has a real fear of marrying one person and then she changes into someone he “used to know.”  I don’t think any woman can  guarantee that she won’t grow or change, though.  Do you think that change and growth can be viewed as a threat to a long- lasting relationship?

Have you ever dated someone who changed a lot over the course of your relationship?  Did the change bring you closer together or was it a challenge?

How much change are you willing to handle in a relationship?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Relationships: Don’t go changing! »

I told my friend Ray that if he wants to have a second date with someone, he needs to make sure the first date is “dry.”  This is because when Ray drinks, Ray is a jerk.  Not just annoying kind of jerk, but a really obnoxious and inappropriate kind of jerk.   While I don’t think he has a drinking problem, I am concerned that his best self does not get to shine through when he drinks.

Some of us just tolerate our alcohol better than others.  I generally don’t go beyond a glass of wine or one cocktail on dates.  I feel that I like to stay clear headed and focused on seeing if there is chemistry there.  I don’t want to have “liquid courage” to enjoy a date.  What do you think?

Should you drink on the first couple of dates?  Do you think you need alcohol to make you feel at ease?

What is your general rule for alcohol and dating? To mix or not to mix?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Avoid alcohol on dates? »

It  is easy to become relaxed and comfortable when you are in a new relationship.   Things tend to become less sexy after that honeymoon phase ends and you start to let yourself go a bit.  The first casualty of this sort of thing is your attraction to one another.

A lot of guys tell me that their women have become too sloppy or stop caring about their appearance as much.  This can lead to some awkward situations and men get accused of being shallow.  I don’t think a person is shallow for wanting their mate’s appearance to be attractive.

The same thing goes for single people.  I always joke that single girls don’t get days off.  We never know when we may run into someone who could be a potential romance, so leaving the house looking a mess is not always a good thing. Even if you don’t have a new relationship, you should care about your appearance so that you project a polished image.

Do you think you could use a little bit of a makeover?   Have you ever let things …

Continue reading Have you become sloppy? »

One of our readers was invited to attend her ex-fiance’s wedding.  The two of them have a really long history, having gone from friends to lovers, and back to friends again.  The problem is that her new guy and his bride-to-be don’t know that they were once a couple.

Should she disclose the fact that they hooked up to her new man?  Should she go to the wedding of her ex?  What would you do?

Do you think that it is appropriate to invite a former flame, lover, or spouse to your wedding?  Would it bother you if your mate wanted  to have someone from their past at an important event like wedding, graduation, etc.?

What is the proper etiquette when your ex is getting married? If there are still some feelings involved, is it best to stay away?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Ex’s wedding: Go or decline? »

There is a period of time before you have had “the talk” when you are still keeping your options open.  It’ s common to juggle different people that you are interested in.  You’re single, you’re entitled.  We are all adults, here, right?  Still there is something that changes the dynamic when you are faced with your competition.

The situation was not planned, but my friend Curt was on a date with a woman and they were approached by another love interest.  Awkward!  Thankfully, Curt is smart about who he dates. There were no embarrassing reality tv fight scenes.  There was, however, a little bit of cold shoulder action after the woman left.

So, he does not feel that she had a “right to get mad” because she knew that he was seeing other people.  When you are casually dating, should it really bother you when you find out that they are dating other people?

How much information would you want to know about your competition?

Are you obligated to share details about who else …

Continue reading Dating other people? »

I had a bad feeling when one of my friends told me he loaned his new girlfriend some money.  They had only been exclusive for a couple of weeks by then and I worried if this was a red flag.  Things seemed to have fallen apart between them and she still has not paid him back.

I always wonder why so many people who are in dating relationships allow money to become an issue before things are even serious.  Money will eventually be something every couple has to deal with but should it be a big issue when you are just dating?

Would you ever loan someone money if you are dating them casually?  What if you are in a serious relationship?

Have  you ever given someone you were involved with money?  Did it change the dynamic of your relationship?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Dating Dilemma: Do you loan money? »