The best time to showcase your personality could be at an intimate gathering.  I’m all for mix and mingling at large events, but there is something really cool about meeting people at a small dinner party or mellow house party.  Unfortunately, if you aren’t a friendly or positive person, you could actually run off potential dates in this kind of social setting.

One of my bootcamp buddies, Tim, told me that he met a young woman Sunday night at a friend’s house.  He noticed her almost right away, described her as very attractive.  It wasn’t long before he started hearing a lot of what she was saying to people.  It was mostly complaints and whining about the Superbowl, the food, and whatever else she didn’t like.  Major turn-off.  I wondered if there were other women there who had great attitudes, were actually watching the game, and probably wouldn’t bite his head off if he said something to him.

When I asked him who else caught his attention, he couldn’t really think of …

Continue reading Attitude: Approach with caution »

I am really thankful that I am not a celebrity. Seriously, who could endure living the life in a fishbowl. You are constantly under scrutiny and when you are dating, it seems to be worse.  A lot of the gossip blogs were posting rumors about Atlanta-based actor, Lance Gross and his fiancee, actress/model Eva Pigford.  It seems  a few people witnessed Eva angrily leaving Miami and when Lance was surrounded by, uh excited fans.

Who knows what actually happened on Superbowl weekend but it made me think of couples who go out together.  A lot of my guy friends have this unspoken rule of leaving their women at home when they know there will be hot women around.  Events such as Superbowl weekend, or Vegas weekends to see a fight, should be reserved for male bonding (read: no women allowed).

Do you think that taking someone you are in a relationship with to a place where you will be surrounded by “temptations” is a good idea?  Would it bother you if you were out on the town …

Continue reading Take Sand to the Beach Causes Friction »

It’s finally here! SuperBowl XLIV this Sunday, February 7th.  If you don’t have any plans to attend a Superbowl party, please make some! Dating and sports go together like baby and pacifiers (word to ODB).  If you happen to be a sports fan you know that watching The Game is fun, intense, frustrating, and any other emotion that gets the blood pumping.  Somehow this creates conditions conducive to flirt – trust me on this.  I’m sure there is some scientific reason for it but the important thing to remember is you can capitalize off it this weekend. Find thee way to a sports bar or superbowl party this weekend!

If you are in to sports and you meet someone who is not, a great way to get closer is showing them how much fun sports can be.  It can be a way to gauge if the person is open to new things and learning more about you.  It is always good to be upfront with people you date about how hardcore you are about sports.  Hopefully they will be understanding and won’t give …

Continue reading Dating and Sports »

I once read “The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want at the moment. One of our readers sent me an article about a book that I had seen making its rounds in social networking, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Right Enough.

When I first heard about Ms. Gottlieb, she had written an article with the same premise in The Atlantic. I blogged about the article, and I see the article was precursor for the book, and now there’s word that a movie deal is in the works.

Here’s the thing, I’ve figured out that insecurity (especially female) is a billion dollar industry.  It’s easy to get caught up in the craze of books, movies, and other forms of mass media (including dating blogs!). I think the most important thing everyone should remember is having standards is normal.  Having unrealistic, fairytale fantasies is a recipe for disaster.

When you start the slippery slope of calling someone “good enough” or the ever so narcissistic …

Continue reading Settling: Twisted Logic? »

In the last few months, I feel as if I have either read or watched some random relationship guru tell single women just about everything we have to let go to have a man.  An ongoing theme seems to be that women aren’t all that realistic about what they want.  It’s debatable how true this really is in general.  I can honestly say that this doesn’t seem to be the case with many of the single people I know.  Is chivalry and generosity too much to ask for though?

I think men and women can agree that being with a person who is giving and generous is a huge turn on. Of course, a lot of people think that chivalry and generosity is only related to finances.  I think that it relates to more than that. A bargain hunting, practical, smart with his money -  man is Grade A hot.  These are the guys that will make you swoon with their intellect and financial acumen, all the while finding ways to romance you.  This is what I call a keeper.

However, in my experiences, a guy who was …

Continue reading Chivalrous and Generous? Yes, Please! »

If you have ever been really excited about meeting someone great, you probably have dealt with that person’s curve balls.  Those completely unexpected, totally out of left field tidbits of information that are somewhat “game changers” in dating.  That is not to say that you shouldn’t still be excited, but the curve balls sort of puts things in perspective, really fast.

I have a lot of experience with these curve balls. I’ve dodged them and I have thrown a few of my own, because hey, I have a past like everybody else.  The most important thing I learned is that you have to be mindful of how you handle curve balls. Whether you are on the receiving end or the one throwing them.

If you handle situations with maturity and finesse, you can pretty much coast through the biggest curve balls.  Drama and angst is optional, not required.  If you happen to have something to reveal to someone, try to do it at the right time.  Don’t pick a time when you are distracted or in bed to do …

Continue reading Curve Balls »

Alright, so by now you have heard the tired old time honored axiom “Why buy the cow, when the milk is free”.  I have always been convinced that a male came up with this phrase. I just don’t want to believe that any self-respecting woman would compare women and all they offer in marriage to cow and cow’s milk.

The argument here is so problematic, I actually don’t know where to start, but for discussion purposes I want to opine about two points:

1. Shouldn’t men oppose the idea that sex is the only real benefit to marriage? Especially when so many complain that sex is the one thing that greatly changes post-marriage?

2. This expression doesn’t address how cows (women?) benefit from milk (sex?) in a way that makes it all worthwhile.

My dear readers, are you in agreement with the idea that men won’t marry as long as they have heifers (har!) who give it up freely, without commitment?

If every single (and married?) woman suddenly closed for “free business”, would there be a hike in …

Continue reading Free Milk Everywhere »

Getting engaged should be an exciting and happy experience. The woman has the easy part, she just has to be happy and say yes. The gentleman, however, has to navigate all that comes with proposing. Talking to the parents (if he so desires), plotting out the proposal plans, and ring shopping.

I didn’t realize how much guys worry about engagement rings. A friend of mine said that he did not want to disappoint his girlfriend so he made sure to get her sister involved. My co-worker said that his wife didn’t like the engagement ring he selected and she told him as much.  They nearly broke up because of it.  I know of another couple who delayed their engagement until they could afford the ring she they wanted.

Perhaps I just don’t get it,  but what is it about rings that can cause so much stress? It’s supposed to just be a symbol of a couple’s love and commitment, isn’t it?

Have you ever had a ring cause a breakup? What is the “proper” etiquette for women who receive rings …

Continue reading Ring Barrier »

It is so easy to get stuck in a relationship that is not going anywhere. Trust me, it happens all the time, even when you have said that you aren’t “dating just to be dating”. Somehow complacency sets in, red flags get ignored, and before long you both reach your tipping point.

When a new romance reaches its tipping point, one or both of you are faced with choices to make. You can communicate and express your needs and desires to redefine your connection, or you can cut your losses and move on.

The tricky part (to me) is figuring out when to salvage the relationship and when to chuck the deuces and move on. When there are no major hurdles for you to cross, shouldn’t you want to work out personality clashes?

Is it possible that reaching a “tipping point” is just another relationship milestone to reach? Don’t some couples go through it and come out stronger than they were before?

Have you ever dated someone and things were going “alright”, but just got a little stagnant? …

Continue reading The Tipping Point »

Men lie, women lie, but numbers don’t. You’ve probably heard it in a rap song or acceptance speech before. I overheard it while having drinks with a friend at Drinkstory at the W Hotel. I perked up when I heard a group of people talking about a woman who “smashed the homies” (i.e. slept with friend of a lover). One of the guys, who was clearly a statistician or something, actually broke down the probability of this woman’s “magic number” being higher than theirs.

I am always highly amused how that old double standard works when it comes to this kind of thing. That whole “lady in the street, freak in the bedroom” mantra all but disappears if a man decides (for whatever reason) that the lady/freak has a number that puts him on edge.

I believe we all have our own personal beliefs, morals, and values when it comes to our magic numbers. Some of us judge people by them and others simply just worry about what the person’s behavior is present day. What is the bottom line for …

Continue reading Numbers Don’t Lie »