When you put yourself out on the dating scene, you can easily end up in a situation where you have two great potentials. You will have yo choose one eventually, of course, but how do you know which one? Have you ever been torn on who to cut loose and who to keep around?
The easy answer could be who are you attracted to the most. I think it goes deeper than that though. You may have a stronger attraction to the one with a horrible temper. Does it make sense to choose that person?
Have you ever dated two people at the same time and they both seemed like a good match for you?
How would you go about making the decision to pick the one you should be with when you are unsure?
By Wise Diva
I went to a screening for The Other Woman last night. It stars Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann, Kate Upton, and Nicki Minaj. The film was actually pretty funny! I laughed very hard in some parts and I enjoyed seeing the comedic dynamic between wife and a mistress.
In the beginning of the film, Cameron Diaz’ had just started seeing the married man thinking he was single. He had pursued her for an “exclusive” relationship and she resisted at first. When he asked to meet her Dad, she was hesitant but finally agreed. She told him she wanted to stay in their “relationship bubble” with just the two of them for as long as she could. The reality was that she thought he was too perfect. He was buying gifts, being super romantic, and presented himself to be the ideal man. This became a red flag though! She begins to think he is TOO good to be true.
Do you ever meet someone so great that you start to actually look for what is wrong with them? It’s like we can’t trust that we met
Like a moth to a flame, my friend Ron somehow manages to find the craziest chick in the room to pursue. When all signs point to an emotionally unstable woman, Ron sees someone exciting. I have even noticed a pattern that some people have where they are quiet and reserved yet are drawn to the unpredictable, wild types. Is that opposites attracting or a masochist who can’t help themselves?
If you happen to like a lot of drama, unpredictable behavior, and possibly a side of freaky, then you could be the type attracted to the wild ones. They can be exciting and different but also exhausting and tiresome. You have to decide if all that excitement is worth it in the end.
I don’t want to always be ready for a relationship war, but I certainly went through that crazy phase. In my old age, I have found that peace and quiet in a relationship is a beautiful thing!
Do you find yourself consistently bringing people in your life who are full of drama? How do you know if their brand
After multiple dating misadventures, Cathy decided to recruit some of her friends to check her dates. Although she felt as if she was a good judge of character, she sometimes overlooked obvious things because she was blinded by good looks, charm, or that tricky sex haze.
I think a lot of people have great intuition and should be able to trust their gut. How many times has that lead us wrong? When it comes to sizing up a guy, though, other men are the best to notice if something is off. Why do you think that is? I think it works the same with women. I can sense when my guy friends should be careful with the women they pick. I can also clearly see when they should start ring shopping!
Do you ever get second opinions about the people you date? Has anyone ever introduced you to their friends in an effort to get a second opinion on you?
By Wise Diva
I overheard a woman complaining that she was asked out on a date the same day he wanted to go out. She was deeply bothered that he didn’t follow some dating rule about asking out someone at the last minute. I have also seen some people dumped because they had to cancel on a date because something came up. I wondered shouldn’t we should consider being a lot more flexible?
The dating scene requires a great deal of patience. Things won’t always go your way. Rejection, disappointment, and misunderstandings happen so we should expect it and deal with it. The more understanding you can be without being taken advantage of, the more likely you can successfully navigate the dating scene.
If you went out on a date the same day you were asked out, does it have to mean you are desperate for attention? I think it shows you are spontaneous and open to adventure, which is appealing to some people.
When it comes to dealing with the messy part of dating, how understanding are you?
Have you ever watched a couple interact and noticed that one of them showed some domineering behavior? What do you do when it’s your friend and their new man or woman is a raging control freak? Do you voice your concern? Casually bring it up?
I have a friend who has handed his entire life over to his new woman. At first I thought it was adorable and sweet that she was “tweaking” little superficial things. Then I realize he has made major life changes in the short time they have been together. If he was happy about those changes I wouldn’t be so worried. He isn’t though and he admitted he did it to make her happy. It saddens me to see all this happen! What would you do?
Have you ever dated someone controlling? How did you establish boundaries?
How can you tell the difference between dating someone who challenges you to be better and someone who is way too controlling?
By Wise Diva
If you were offered a great career opportunity that required you move far away, would you turn it down for a relationship? The tough choices some people face often come down to picking what is most important to you at the time. A lot of women who are single but want to be married may consider picking a man over the career. The hope is that they can somehow end up with the great man and the great career will still come later. What if it doesn’t, though?
I have a friend who turned down a position because it required a lot of traveling. Her boyfriend at the time said that it would be hard to be in what would feel like a long distance relationship. He even admitted that he was not sure if he could resist temptation while she was away! She now regrets this choice because her relationship didn’t last and she thinks her career would be further along if she had accepted the traveling job.
How do you decide between love and career? Would you relocate to a new city with someone
I received an email from one of our readers seeking some advice. She is a 29 year old marketing professional who met a wonderful man in January. The two of them have decided to become exclusive which means all those flings, friends with benefits, and exes need to be made aware. Apparently, this is easier said than done. She and her man have people who they can’t seem to shake.
When you want to end the various “situations” you have been managing as a single person, what is your exit strategy for them? Do you stop calling? Do you send a text? What do you do when you let someone know you are coupled up and they suddenly admit to wanting something serious with you?
When you meet someone, do you believe that their single status only refers to marriage? Do you think most people have someone who they hook up with on a regular basis? How long do you allow for those loose ends to get tied up?
By Wise Diva
Sometimes single people act like selfish jerks who don’t care much about anyone else. Their dating ethics are self-serving so the people they meet and date get the brunt of all of this. What if we flipped the script and suddenly were to get the treatment we give to others? Would you be worried?
I know a young lady who had a bad habit of disposing men when she got what she wanted from them: Money, attention, sex, etc. When she met up with someone she really liked, she was the one who was disposed and replaced. It was enough to change how she dealt with men. Maybe in these instances, we need to get played to see what it feels like.
If you reflect on the way you treat your dates and your mate, how would you feel if they treated you in the exact same manner?
By Wise Diva
I believe many of us have experienced that feeling of wanting to be with someone all the time. You can’t stop thinking about them. When you aren’t with them you can count the minutes until you see them again. It’s a great ride when it’s new and exciting! It’s also the time when many people confuse love with lust. How can you tell the difference?
The “feelings” can mimic both and you aren’t always sure what is real and what is a result of great sex. I know lust is strong and powerful, and often times you can have lust for someone you love. The danger comes in when you think you love someone and it’s actually just a desire to have them physically.
Do you think there is a way to tell the difference? My friend used to tell me to imagine the person you “love” walking out of your life forever. If you can live without them and can easily see life with them gone, it’s probably not love.
Why do you think many of us confuse love and lust?