accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Chivalry in 2014?

There are times when you long for the days when chivalry in dating was the norm. Opening doors, pulling out chairs, guiding a woman through a room seem to have survived modern day dating. I think these gestures make me swoon more than anything.

Recently, I saw a woman get mad at her guy because he did not speak up when somebody said something rude to her at a bar. She felt it was his place to check the person. He thought she picked a fight by talking slick about the man’s favorite sports team. She made it about being chivalrous and he thought he was keeping a cool head.

I think we all have different ideas about what chivalry means today versus what it used to mean back in the day. Do you think protection is always a part of being chivalrous?

How would you define chivalry in our modern times? What was the last chivalrous act you did or received?

By Wise Diva

192 comments Add your comment

Lee

May 6th, 2014
6:56 am

Apparently this women is a mess, no it is not your dates job to defend your honor when you are the one starting trouble, if you are big enough to open your mouth you should be big enough to defend what comes out of it….

Always have the door opened for me, had the car door opened for me .. can’t seem to think of anything else..

Good morning,

Single & Happy

May 6th, 2014
8:01 am

Hey everyone

Disco, I didn’t know you like sports :-D

The last thing I did chivalrous was open the door

These days you have women who think you’re supposed to defend their honor under any circumstance.

SlimNu

May 6th, 2014
8:31 am

Good morning :-)

Single & Happy

May 6th, 2014
8:33 am

Morning slim

Button

May 6th, 2014
8:46 am

Lee – I agree.

I used to let all my dates know not to start opening doors and such if he doesn’t plan to do it in perpetuity. If he’s not a door opener, into ordering my meals at the resturant, doing all those chilverous stuff then don’t do it to impress me.

My G always does chilvalrous act like opening doors letting me go in first, (not car doors since I really don’t like having that kind of chivalry) protect me when we’re in a crowded room or walking thru a crowd, The last chilvalrous act was Saturday night when he went back to his car to get a blanket and wrapped it around me bc I was cold.

good morning!

disco

May 6th, 2014
8:50 am

Good morning.

Single – ha ha. lol.

The situation as presented could go either way. having a slick mouth isn’t necessarily picking a fight. it’s just having a slick mouth. Now, the reality is some men (and women) are super sensitive about their sports teams. Could be they were in a bar full of cowboys fans (or insert team here) and she was talking slick while wearing a steelers (or insert team here) jersey. Who knows? if she truly was the instigator I can respect her man not stepping up. if she wasn’t instigating but someone just jumped bad at something she said, then her man is a punk.

Single & Happy

May 6th, 2014
9:09 am

Disco, now suppose he had 5 of his boys with him, and all the other guy had was his girl, is he still a punk?

disco

May 6th, 2014
9:14 am

Single – yep. he might be a smart punk but he’s still a punk. lol.

Single & Happy

May 6th, 2014
9:18 am

disco tsk tsk tsk (LOL)

disco

May 6th, 2014
9:23 am

Single – what? is my hood showing? lol.

Chivalry (in the romantic sense of the word) isn’t that real to me. it doesn’t make or break anything. sometimes it even gets in the way or messes up the rotation. sometimes it’s easier, faster, more feasible for me to just do something myself. also, we’ve discussed on here before that chivalry is essentially just a combination of manners, courtesy and home training. you can have all of those things without laying your jacket in a puddle of mud or being quick on the draw with the hanky. ijs.

Button

May 6th, 2014
9:27 am

In the senerio the guy did what I would’ve done if I were a man. I wouldn’t go defending a loud mouth woman. I bet she was all up in his face too just mouthing off. Just bc you’re with a man doesn’t mean you should go mouthing off at anyone thinking he’s going to automatically have your back. she prolly talk slick to her date too.

Single & Happy

May 6th, 2014
9:28 am

naw disco, it’s not showing :-)

disco

May 6th, 2014
9:30 am

Good morning button.

I’m not a sports fan but I liken “talking slick” about sports to talking trash while playing cards. it’s par for the course. it’s what people do. heck, it’s done right here on this blog when folks get to repping their college football teams. It sounds more like to me that old girl was talking slick to a soft dude whose team probably was getting whooped and he couldn’t take it. of course, I don’t know that’s what happened, just saying that’s how I imagine the scenario.

2CPTG©

May 6th, 2014
9:31 am

somewhat agree with Lee…..ol gal should know the difference between playful banter, and taking it too far…hate to sound old fashioned, but what was SHE doing talking to dude anyway? specially in relation to sports….Shouldn’t that have been a gentlemens conversation? in that sense, I agree with disco…he was a punk…his ass prolly didn’t even know who the teams were that were playing….and yeah, I’m reaching, but it ain’t too hard to read between the lines…

Single & Happy

May 6th, 2014
9:43 am

2C then I must be that guy, if you asked me who’s in the playoffs, I might be able to tell you one team.

disco

May 6th, 2014
9:45 am

Single – that’s one team more than I know. lol.

2CPTG©

May 6th, 2014
9:47 am

Single…..usually when a guy takes his girl to a sports bar, he has some inclination as to what’s going on, and the atmosphere in which they’re going to be in…..so again, he was out of his element.

Single & Happy

May 6th, 2014
9:48 am

Disco, I only know because of little blurbs on the web

Single & Happy

May 6th, 2014
9:50 am

2C he may have been going where she wanted to go.

disco

May 6th, 2014
9:50 am

2C – sometimes people go to sports bars just because it’s wing night. lol.

disco

May 6th, 2014
9:51 am

Single – do we need a top 10 list of why people go to sports bars? lol.

Single & Happy

May 6th, 2014
9:52 am

yea disco, I do like the catfish at dugans (LOL)

Button

May 6th, 2014
9:53 am

good morning disco – I won’t go as far as saying dude was soft but rather she was soft and overly senstive. The can dish it but can’t take it. Another thing dude is some random guy nowif dude had molly wooped her then he would be in hot water for taking it too far. she wasn’t at burger king where she can have it her way. Now when it comes to playing cards I”m the queen of jinxing, talking trash and all of that but I know not to step to a complete stranger with that way of talking for the simple fact he’s a stranger.

2CPTG©

May 6th, 2014
9:53 am

yeah disco….let’s have your top 10….liven things up a bit….

Fay

May 6th, 2014
9:55 am

Mornin

Chivalry is always nice….

Button

May 6th, 2014
9:56 am

I can’t figure out ten reason I go to a sports bar only a few:
wings
drink special
triva night
drop my business cards in the fish bowel for freebies

Button

May 6th, 2014
10:01 am

If I was dude that would’ve been our last date. You can’t have a woman on your arms starting trouble and mouthy. When i’m at the bar with my dude or any dude for that matter I’m not all up in other men faces and talking smack. Why was she so involved with other dude anyway? wasn’t she there with her date? So disrespectful.

Single & Happy

May 6th, 2014
10:02 am

While I will talk junk with strangers about my favorite team, it’s never went as far as to someone getting upset about it, Even though it’s my favorite team, you will never hear me say we won or lost, the reality of it is I have no control over the outcome, it’s not going to affect my life in any way. Just yesterday, a guy said something to me because of my favorite team. Didn’t know each other from Adam

Leggs

May 6th, 2014
10:04 am

What was the last chivalrous act you did or received? – Just this morning, this man stepped to the side and let me get on elevator first. Always good to see stuff like that.

Lee ~ I definitely agree with you. If you’re slick enough to talk trash at a sports bar, you better be able to stand your ground. With that being said, some back talk by some can be a bit much so but If he didn’t call her out her name, then that battle is hers alone.

Good morning!

disco

May 6th, 2014
10:04 am

Button – this is another case of why we are different. Games/sports are ripe for trash talking by their very nature (think “in your face”). complete strangers bond (and trash talk) over sports all the time. guess who some of the best trash talkers are? people with slick mouths. I don’t see it as her dishing but not being able to take. Dude didn’t come back at her talking about her team. he apparently came back at her on a serious tip when she was simply talking trash about a game or a team. if her man’s not a punk for keeping a cool head then I’ll just say the other buster is a punk for not keeping a cool head. either way we need some punk repellent.

Leggs

May 6th, 2014
10:09 am

10 reasons to go to a sports bar:

1. Drinks
2. Wings
3. Being with like minded humans
4. Listening to trash talk
5. Maybe to find a date?
6. Wings
7. Drinks
8. Wings
9. Drinks
10.Wings

Leggs

May 6th, 2014
10:10 am

Gotta laugh at punk repellent!!

Button

May 6th, 2014
10:10 am

disco – not everyone is a trash talker and that should be a constant reminder. Some folks are cool and level headed. Wise may have caught the tail end of the trash talking. We aren’t getting the whole story of what happened instead we’re getting snippets. Some folks will molly woop ya instead of wasting energy in going back and forth with it.

DuShawn

May 6th, 2014
10:11 am

On the subject of chivalry, I recently noticed how my young daughters have grown so accustomed to my son or myself opening the door for them. Instinctively, they will stand in front of a door and will not enter until it’s opened. When we go to restaurants or wherever, if they reach the door first, without a second thought they will continue their conversation and stand there as if the door is locked.

Button

May 6th, 2014
10:12 am

last time I witnessed trash talking at a bar a bottle flew past my head.

disco

May 6th, 2014
10:14 am

Button – I agree. Not everyone is “verbal”. That’s all well and good. however, imo, for a person (any person but especially a dude) to get all huffy re someone saying something about their team is a punk move. it’s just words. truth is, it happens all the time though. I’ve seen guys pitch fits, throw things, break things, you name it all because of a game.

morning leggs.

2CPTG©

May 6th, 2014
10:19 am

first dude is a punk too….cause he’en have no business even getting into a verbal dispute with a gal….then again, he was prolly testing that other dude; damn, the more I look at this, nothin but punks all around…….

Single & Happy

May 6th, 2014
10:20 am

Just about every year after the Ala Aub game someone dies, and the thing about it, neither of the people usually have ever had anything to do with either school other than being fans. so yes some people do take things too far. So ole boy may not have been willing to die for the team or her

2CPTG©

May 6th, 2014
10:21 am

Button…..’sup…..you thought about what I said last week?

Leggs

May 6th, 2014
10:21 am

What is “molly woop ya?” Is that like an uppercut and down you go?

Leggs

May 6th, 2014
10:22 am

morning, disco!

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

May 6th, 2014
10:23 am

Morning Gang!

hate to sound old fashioned, but what was SHE doing talking to dude anyway? specially in relation to sports….Shouldn’t that have been a gentlemens conversation?

2C – Yeah you real old-fashioned. So women can’t enjoy sports and discuss them with other men? A gentleman’s conversation, in a sports bar??? This wasn’t a gentleman’s club where men sit around in their smoking jackets and sip brandy out of a snifter and smoke Cuban cigars.

I talk trash all the time to total strangers around college football season. Like Disco said, it’s par for the course. I do it all the time at my neighborhood coffee spot. It’s always in good fun whereever I’ve done it or seen it done.

Seems this case may be a combination of things. The dude in the bar was overly sensitive – his team must have been losing!LOL!! Even if the chick’s trash talk went overboard, he still shouldn’t have gotten so worked up that he felt he had to go at it with a woman. Who knows what the chick’s deal is. She might have been trying to set up the situation to get her man to prove he was not a punk. Silly, but folks do silly things. As far as her man, I’m with Leggs – it depends on how far dude went and did he call her out her name. If none of those things happened, then he’s smart to keep cool.

Either way, I would bet my last dollar they are still dating. Folks are just twisted like that.

2CPTG©

May 6th, 2014
10:30 am

morning kimmie…..when I said “old fashioned,” didn’t mean that the gal couldn’t get her trash talk on….I’m simply saying, why was she sparring with the dude in the first place….she prolly said something about the other team, and not to the other dude, and he got defensive, thus the war of words began…….all the while, her date is sittin there lookin lost….if anything he shoulda told her to tone it down before it escalates;

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

May 6th, 2014
10:31 am

Dushawn – Our training our son to open doors for the ladies is paying off and now he automatically does it. Our daughter is getting to where she expects it as well.

Gentleman open doors or hold them for me all the time. I always smile and say thank you. Chivalry, manners, good hometraining, whatever you call it, is not dead. I appreciate people that show good manners whether others do it or expect it or not. Be your own person.

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

May 6th, 2014
10:33 am

2C – Okay, gotcha

Button

May 6th, 2014
10:34 am

I’m not into sports nor all the hype that goes along with it. Folks getting all heated over a game is beyond my comprehension. (card game is an excpetion lol) I guess it’s all about passion.

Leggs – molly woop is when you get an oops up side ya head!

Kimmie – hate to sound old fashioned, but what was SHE doing talking to dude anyway? specially in relation to sports—exactly! She’s up there rolling with dude like she’s a dude. I can’t stand seeing women all up in men face like they can roll with em.

Single & Happy

May 6th, 2014
10:34 am

2C tell disco, to tone it down, ow hell naw, Then she’s going to start in on me (LOL)

disco

May 6th, 2014
10:36 am

So…. y’all know I always have a movie reference. The holding of the door made me think of ving rhames clearing his throat in holiday heart when dude didn’t open the door of the limo for him. lol.

Hey kimmie!!!!!

Button

May 6th, 2014
10:38 am

The lady reminds me a an ex associate who would always mouth off to guys at bars/clubs you name it, where there was trash talk she was there, neck to neck with guys talking trash until she was molly woop’d and dragged by some dude’s lady. She tore dat azz out the frame!

disco

May 6th, 2014
10:39 am

Button – trash talking and “all up in someone’s face” aren’t necessarily the same thing. granted they CAN be the same thing but in general they aren’t. unless old girl was shoulder to shoulder with dude and walking in circles talking about “what’s up” she wasn’t out of line. ijs.