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Date someone who reads!

I believe some of the best dating advice I ever heard from my parents was “Date someone who reads.” They were not so much hung up on degrees but they thought it was important to be with someone who was intelligent. At least someone who was intelligent enough to read regularly.

I think this was their way of making sure they wouldn’t end up with dumb grandchildren. It is good advice, though. I know a lot of couples who only have one partner with a desire to read and learn. I think a lot of people dumb down their intellect to make their partner more at ease.

If you met someone who didn’t read books and were proud to say it, would this be a turn off?

Have you ever felt the need to downplay your intellect for your date?

Happy Monday!!

By Wise Diva

225 comments Add your comment

Lee

April 28th, 2014
7:01 am

To me it does not mater, i used to love to read a good book until i start going back to school , now i just don’t have time. Dating someone who reads or does not read has no measure on ones intelligence or mental status. I think it would be more important to look at how someone handled life’s troubles, do they make good decisions over all, do they pay their bills or just let things ride until it becomes a drama mess that they are always screaming for help….

I planted a garden this weekend, i hope the plants survive :)

Single and Happy

April 28th, 2014
7:19 am

Hey everyone

I know a lot of couples who only have one partner with a desire to read and learn. If these couples don’t have a problem with it, there is no problem!!

If you met someone who didn’t read books and were proud to say it, would this be a turn off Nope,

Have you ever felt the need to downplay your intellect for your date? Nope

Button

April 28th, 2014
8:32 am

Does reading the Bible, newspaper, blogs/internet count? I believe more ppl read that we know they just don’t make a bull horn announcement about it. I use to read all the time making good use of my library card but these days I can’t sit still long enough to read a whole book even the first chapter. I’m considering to try audio books.

If you met someone who didn’t read books and were proud to say it, would this be a turn off? No, just bc they don’t read doesn’t mean they are not well informed or can use their imagination.

Have you ever felt the need to downplay your intellect for your date? Nope bc we are all smart in our own right.

Good morning!

SlimNu

April 28th, 2014
8:47 am

Good morning,

I like to read and grew up reading all the time. However, these day’s with the million other distractions, folks simply aren’t into as we may have been once before. I need to get back into because i seemed to have taken a long hiatus from it. And I never knew that reading equated to intellect…guess it really depends on what one chooses to read.

Coach

April 28th, 2014
9:04 am

I love reading. Barnes and Nobles is easily one of my favorite places. Kindle Fire is good for downloading books too. Dating people who read is always good, as your discussions can go into different realms other than “what do you do”? “We are we going with this?” etc…..One of the best books Ive read surprisingly was gone with the wind. excellent characters in that one!

Fay

April 28th, 2014
9:14 am

Mornin

I loveeee reading…if I could meet someone who has that same passion I have for books it would be great. I don’t meet alot of men who read alot – depending on my schedule I may not read a book for a few days but its always in the horizon that I need a book to read. I will be taking a hiatus in june/july due to a class I am taking so I have been preparing myself to cut it off soon.

Dumb down ..no

Single and Happy

April 28th, 2014
9:14 am

Coach dating someone who has a life can also make for some interesting discussions :-)

Reio

April 28th, 2014
9:15 am

Morning all.

I agree with the posts so far. What’s reading have to do with it? I’m not an avid reader personally, but I consider myself informed and a student of ‘learning’.

I can remember years ago (bout 143 or so), in grade school, I loved learning. So much so, that, believe it or not, my favorite days in school were the days in which I knew that our class; history, science, math…, would move on to a new chapter. No matter the subject. There was just something about moving on to a new subject within a class, that captivated me. Sometimes the teacher would say : Ok, class, I want you all to go home this weekend and take a look at chapter 9, cause we’ll start that on Monday…” That excited me so much that I wouldn’t even read the chapter like she instructed. Instead, I would wait til Monday and have her introduce the material to us formally. I enjoyed the ‘new’ material, and wanted to be introduced to it by her, rather than read ahead. Don’t ask me why, that was just the way I was. Can’t explain it.

So, a quest for knowledge, rather than reading, per se, is, in my opinion, more telling.

Coach

April 28th, 2014
9:26 am

@ Single and Happy just depends on what you call a “life” for some a life is chilling at the house grilling up some burgers and chicken. For others a “life” is being active in church functions or their community volunteering. For others a “life” consists of going out to all the “swanky” joints and mingling with atlanta celebrity scene. It just depends on personal preferences.

abc

April 28th, 2014
9:28 am

I don’t read fiction. It’s like TV: the stories are too stupid to hold my interest. I read the news quite a lot, but even then, journalistic expertise is seriously lacking. Issues of grammar and spelling abound, and even leading with the most salient points (or including them at all, sadly) is also seriously lacking. I read tons of technical materials, RTFM if you know what I mean.

Reading the Bible, ah, there’s a good point. I think many people’s primary need for church is that they can’t read and understand the Bible for themselves, thus need a pastor to spoon feed it to them, often with some pretty odd interpretations. Now, that’s a real shame.

Reio

April 28th, 2014
9:28 am

I get the fact that people like to read books, fiction, non-fiction…but if I’m going to read, I’d much rather read about facts and research articles. Who, what, when where, why…..Gaining a better understanding of a multitude of things. Although a good story has it’s place as well.

I would hope that a person that I’m dating, who has this as a requirement, would say so at the outset, that way I can move on before we get too involved. But that would be asking too much. Women, in general, will never do this.

Celisea

April 28th, 2014
9:34 am

If you met someone who didn’t read books and were proud to say it, would this be a turn off

Ummm, no, not a turn off….unless we’re talking the good book. :) Look dating someone who’s not an avid reader is not an indicator that he or she is not intelligent. Frankly I think folks that go all out for worldly wisdom beyond the point of being what we consider a youth, NEVER realizing at some point that everything of this world is going to stay here, never have any insight that all things in this life will eventually fade away, are the ones lacking. To be going into the latter years of your life and still seeking youthful experinences is just plain foolish….IMO And naturally, starting out we have all these dreams and hopes, and your goal being to do the dang thing, money maker. But (FOR ME), after living some and making mistakes and coming to the knowledge that all of what we could EVER possess cannot leave this world (naked we came, naked we shall return), then REAL learning, true wisdom kicks in. I have the knowledge to know that if God don’t do it, give it, bless it, ain’t happening. And don’t get me wrong, I’m alll about make money, but first things first. You start to realign and re-evaluate things. What’s TRULY important versus what’s not. Reading books does what? By forty you should be able to do the dang thing with your eyes close, as it relates to intellect. To know everything, books, science, finance, have plaques on the wall that can only be boxed when you die, etc etc etc yet have no knowledge that none of that really matters when the big pay day comes, sort of causes those things to diminish in value. Where you went to school (after 20 or so years), just ain’t that important, if you made straight A’s or ranked among the highest. If you have a library, in your home, etc etc etc. Young kids, yes I’m all for it. Their minds are young and they’re impressionable. I’d rather see them in a book than on a cell phone. But grown folks being graded on whether or not they read a bunch of books is plainly juvenile and infantile….IMO

So, no, I wouldn’t and I don’t. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t do nor have the tolerance for dumb-bots. In turn, I’ll take the dude grown in wisdom (BIIIIIG DIFFERENT FROM INTELLECT), a man that comes into understanding and know God….anyday over a dude that’s read all of the books this side of the hemisphere.

Reio

April 28th, 2014
9:34 am

Seems like I can remember dating, maybe, two women, that enjoyed reading. They read a lot, as I recall. But beyond that, I don’t remember them being distinctive from those that I dated that didn’t read much. So, I don’t see the value in looking for someone that reads a lot. Who cares?

2CPTG©

April 28th, 2014
9:37 am

I’m an avid reader; not saying my mate has to be as well, but I’d like her to be more versed than the latest haps on house wives, or that hip hop love show…..reading also enhances the vocabulary, so if she can’t conjugate verbs properly, or enunciate her words correctly, then we prolly won’t be a “good” match….but I’ve never had the problem of dating a dumb chic, I can usually tell within the first five minutes of interaction how far things will go…..

Celisea

April 28th, 2014
9:42 am

I think many people’s primary need for church is that they can’t read and understand the Bible for themselves

The primary need for church is because God instituted and that’s where he resides. Yep, he’s everywhere and yes, he walks with us, AS LONG AS WE KEEP WITH THE ORDER SET FORTH. I believe the good book says “fail not to assemble yourselves together.” God is not found with just you and you alone, if you do not go by nor follow what was instituted by him. You gotta first be obedient…theeen the rest will follow. But at home and being your own preacher and living by your own interpretation, God is not found in that. Plus the Holy Spirit is who interprets the bible. Outside of having it abiding within, you’re just reading a book.

Dude, you’re misleading folks. God does everything in order. You cannot “get” to him outside of what’s been established. A church, a preacher, etc. Did you not read where Cornelius was paying and praying and although God heard him, he told him to send for the preacher…to be preached to….in order to be saved?
Romans 10:14
How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher?

Y’all have a fantanbulous rest of the day.

Reio

April 28th, 2014
9:47 am

2C – Yes, good grammar is key. You may have grown up in an impoverished environment, inadequate school system, dysfunctional family life….it happens, but to grow into adulthood and struggle to “…conjugate verbs properly, or enunciate her words correctly,…” well, ain’t much I can do. In private?, ok, but in public?, around other? You need to present an informed, intelligent, articulate image. I kaint do nuthin wit-cha otherwise. Heheheee…

abc

April 28th, 2014
9:50 am

Celisea, thppppppt. I’m not into church. Want to find a bunch of self-righteous, judgemental hypocrites? Go to church. That’s where they’re likely to be. Your own statements here are testimonial to that.

Single and Happy

April 28th, 2014
9:51 am

Coach, a life is having interest besides finding a mate, hobbies and other things.

2CPTG©

April 28th, 2014
9:53 am

Reio, ain’t nothin worse than an adult out in public and they’re just as ignorant as they wanna be……then, some have the nerve to be loud with it…..

SlimNu

April 28th, 2014
9:56 am

Loud and ignint is a deadly combo. lol

Ever wake up just feeling like a muggasucke bet not say ish to you today? Yeah woke up feeling like fudge the world today…for no apparent reason at all. :oops:

2CPTG©

April 28th, 2014
9:57 am

Slim…..wow, you’re usually upbeat, and positive…..bad dream?

Button

April 28th, 2014
9:58 am

2C – @enuciate now you do know some ppl read as they speak?

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 28th, 2014
9:59 am

Good morning Gang!

I have always preferred men who are intellectually curious. That can come with being well-read or just well-informed, well-traveled, etc. I don’t get to read books as much as I would like to, like I did when I was younger, but I’ve always been very much into current events. I was an avid newspaper reader and still do, just read it online now. I love a good documentary or history show if it’s something I’m interested in, like the pyramids in Egypt.

I could not make it a requirement that a dude has read such & such books because likely I had not myself. But just be up on what’s going on in the world and be able to hold an intelligent, interesting conversation.

Single and Happy

April 28th, 2014
10:01 am

Hey Slim, morning sunshine :-D

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 28th, 2014
10:01 am

a life is having interest besides finding a mate, hobbies and other things.

Single- I agree with you about only being interested in finding a mate. But isn’t pursuing one’s hobbies part of having a life, or did I misunderstand your statement?

Single and Happy

April 28th, 2014
10:04 am

Kimmie I should have put:

a life is having interest besides finding a mate. Like having hobbies and other things that are your interest, and not the latest thing to come along.

Celisea

April 28th, 2014
10:04 am

@abc – The church is for sinners, boo. I own what I am….so that I can be saved. God didn’t come for folks like you. Sitting back judging all cause you can’t do as you please without someone saying it’s wrong. I never said once (to you), anything that came from me. I quoted what’s in the good book, cause you’re always jumping on here telling folks what’s not required, when God has written otherwise. Do you, boo…just quit misleading and misinforming folks.

Now the matter of calling me a hypocrite, I’m guud with that. Folks that call Christians hypocrites are the ones that (again) wanna do what they want and never be called on it. Oh, and btw, if it’s wrong for you, it’s wrong for me as well. Feel better? K!

And there’s no need for Satan to be found “in the world”, he’s already got them/y’all. He hangs out at church and around church folks for new conquests.

2CPTG©

April 28th, 2014
10:06 am

Button…..you have to know your audience…..I use slang on here, but you better believe, when it’s time to use “my schooling” I know when to use it…

abc

April 28th, 2014
10:06 am

Once more and with feeling, thpppppppppppt. You’re a crock, Celisea. A church is the last thing I’ll worship. I’m fine with God, it’s Christians that get on my nerves.

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 28th, 2014
10:08 am

Single – I thought that’s what you meant! I agree.

2CPTG©

April 28th, 2014
10:08 am

kimmie…..I too am interested in all things “egypt”….those people were “ahead of their time”

Celisea

April 28th, 2014
10:10 am

abc – Like I said, do you boo. I couldn’t give a happy what you like and don’t. Your choice. I chose to be a believer….regardless of my sins. Really, it just shows where you’re ignorant to the Word of God. God ain’t NEVER said nor required anyone to be perfect to come. So umm, yeah, I’m a sinner…a repented sinner. I make no apologies and I try to “fix” myself in front of others. But I believe, thereby I’m saved.

You need to get it right, boo. God didn’t say come in perfect, sinless, free of sin, never done wrong….poor misguided soul.

I’m guud though. Call me whatever you like, I stand proud and firm on the good book! It’s not failed me yet.

Proper or not, incorrect grammar or not, colloquialism or not…I’m sweetly paid. I have to give honor where honor is due…couldn’t have done it, made it, gotten favor if it weren’t for God.

Celisea

April 28th, 2014
10:10 am

don’t try to fix myself…is what I meant

Celisea

April 28th, 2014
10:13 am

Isaiah 1:18
18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

Who’s the hypocrite now? I’m gone….tooooodles!!

hazel

April 28th, 2014
10:14 am

If you don’t read, doesn’t dictate your intellectual abilities. Even if someone reads, and if they are reading those love novels.. doesn’t make them smart. Reading Harry Potter will not make you more attractive to woman and a potential smart mate.

hazel

April 28th, 2014
10:16 am

Now if whoever you are dating is watching all of the Housewives shows and bull like that. .you got a problem. She/he is not an ideal candidate to be serious with.

SlimNu

April 28th, 2014
10:20 am

2C – I think it’s just a case of Monday’s…i’m slowly coming out of it. lol I have no idea what I even dreamed about last night.

Single – Morning diver ;-)

DuShawn

April 28th, 2014
10:20 am

I really enjoy reading. It’s always refreshing to find a woman that shares that interest.

Coach

April 28th, 2014
10:23 am

@ Single and Happy

So having hobbies consists of having a life? What if your hobbies include working on model trains and collecting bottle caps??? IJS, no but seriously I get the jist of what your saying,

Fay

April 28th, 2014
10:27 am

I think non readers don’t understand the beauty of a book…fiction or non fiction.

Reading does make you smarter by building your vocabulary….or learning a new subject. This should be self evident.

Reio

April 28th, 2014
10:30 am

2C – Yeah, I’ve always found that interesting. It’s one thing to be ignorant, but if you watch television, listen to the radio, especially commercials, news, or even read articles, one will find that the tendency for all of those outlets, is to use standard english, as a means to communicate. How some people can be completely surrounded by this and not be able to articulate, in public, at or above that basic level, is beyond me.

I grew up wthing the Sunday morning talk shows; NBC’s Meet the Press, or CBS’s face the Nation.. Polticians and leading government officials would show up and not answer questions, and try and push their agendas. They tended to be quite articulat and used ‘big’ words that I didn’t understand. But guess what, had my copy of Webster’s dictionary right next to me, no kidding, and when they used a ‘big’ word, I’d look it up, and understand it better. Just jot it down, try and spell it correctly, and look it up as soon as the commercials came on. Learned a lot that way. Of course, had my friends knew I was doing this, they would made fun of me and talked bout my azz for 11 straught months. So, I kept it a secret, all through high school. No lie.

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 28th, 2014
10:32 am

Hazel – As far as folks watching reality tv, the only time I could see that being a problem is if that’s ALL one wants to watch or is interested in. I admit I’ve tuned in a time or 2, sometimes I just want to escape and laugh and not have to think. Other times, I’m in the mood for something a little more informative. I think there is room for both. I told my husband if I have to choose between a reality show or a poorly put-together scripted show, I can take the reality show better. Plus, there are some decent realtiy shows on, like the competitive ones like Top Chef and Project Runway that I enjoy.

LeeH1

April 28th, 2014
10:33 am

Women who don’t read aren’t reading this, so it doesn’t matter what I say about them since they’ll never know about it. Women who don’t read usually end up unmarried compared to the women who do read. There is a lot of competition out there, and women need every arrow they can get to place in Cupid’s quiver. A woman who can’t keep the conversation going about current affairs or other issues of common knowledge is a woman who can’t converse.That means that while the woman is good for entertainment in bed, she is not going to be much entertainment anywhere else, such as the breakfast table.

The “left-over women” thus become the loves of the left over men. Losers attract losers, and learning to like reading is a good way to get out of the rut. And it’s easy! The library is always near and open at convenient times- use it! And turn off the radio and listen to books on tape. They are also available for free from the public library.

Finally, the best cure for depression is to learn something new. There is always something new to learn, and it never fails to take your mind off romance problems and concentrate on something else for a while.

So women, encourage your girlfriends to be ignorant and non-readers. They compete with you, and you will want the advantage on the field. Look for men who read, and you will have a better chance of never hooking up with a loser again. Leave those men for your non-reading friends.

DuShawn

April 28th, 2014
10:34 am

Personally, I think a well read woman is sexy. It makes for stimulating conversation when you can discuss books that you both have read. I can remember dating this one chick, I mentioned the name of my favorite poem. She recited it…..I was blown away and turned on.

Durty Burd

April 28th, 2014
10:34 am

Good Morning!

It depends on what you are reading and your purpose. Some folks read from enjoyment, some for entertainment and some for knowledge. I read for knowledge and entertainment. I enjoy learning about new inventions and what changes are going on in the world.

I do not equate reading with intelligence, some of the ladies I’ve dated lack knowledge in so many areas, social economics, social inequalities, systematic racial inequalites get my point. The topics/subjects you maybe interested in may not be what I am interested in.

SlimNu…You are too funny! vacation time…

2CPTG©

April 28th, 2014
10:35 am

Reio, My 11th English teacher was a beast….she refused to let us use “regular” words in her class…and she told us the best way to enhance our vocabulary, in addition to reading, was to simply “pay attention;” and if we heard a word we weren’t familiar with, recall the sentence in which it was used…and I still remember to this day, “context determines meaning.”

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 28th, 2014
10:39 am

I enjoy learning about new inventions and what changes are going on in the world.

Durty – Me too. Show me someone that’s not keeping up with what’s going on in the world and likely you are showing me someone that will always be behind, or broke or both.

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 28th, 2014
10:40 am

Durty – Where are you meeting these uninformed women? Looks like the common denominator is you, since you are choosing these women! :cool:

hazel

April 28th, 2014
10:44 am

@kimmie- totally agree. Im talking about when that person knows each episode, names, what happened etc etc.. I just think that, that person should be concentrating on improving himself/herself rather then watching that garbage ALL the time. I watch the housewife stuff when there is nothing on tv and I want to laugh at stupid ppl.. but since I’m pregnant..i try to only watch positive things. Cooking show is another story.. its good for us. it teaches us how to cook ; )

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 28th, 2014
10:44 am

2C – I do love all things Egypt. You are right, they were ahead of their time, by centuries. I saw this show the other day where these engineers from the US were trying to recreate how they built the pyramids, not using any of today’s machinery or anything. They came close but still had many unanswered questions.