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Torn between two options?

When you put yourself out on the dating scene, you can easily end up in a situation where you have two great potentials. You will have yo choose one eventually, of course, but how do you know which one? Have you ever been torn on who to cut loose and who to keep around?

The easy answer could be who are you attracted to the most. I think it goes deeper than that though. You may have a stronger attraction to the one with a horrible temper. Does it make sense to choose that person?

Have you ever dated two people at the same time and they both seemed like a good match for you?

How would you go about making the decision to pick the one you should be with when you are unsure?

By Wise Diva

301 comments Add your comment

Lee

April 24th, 2014
7:07 am

Good Morning

Single and Happy

April 24th, 2014
7:21 am

Hello everyone

You may have a stronger attraction to the one with a horrible temper. Does it make sense to choose that person? yes

How would you go about making the decision to pick the one you should be with when you are unsure? ennie mennie minnie moe!!

Celisea

April 24th, 2014
7:26 am

We have all probably been in this strait, and yes Diva the easy obvious answer is “the one you like the most.” However, IMO as with one dude or really, anything in life you keep your checks and balances in place and perform due diligence. Because we alllll know, jokers walk around all day everyday sounding and looking like MR. GOODBAR!!!

I am outta here early! Gotta get on my grind. Me and my boo have plans tonight :)

Oooops, looks like I’m talking to maself…lololol. It’s okay, this is a blog about opinions, not friendship :mrgreen:

Have a grrrrandtastic day!! (roll your tongue now when you say it)

Button

April 24th, 2014
8:11 am

Have you ever dated two people at the same time and they both seemed like a good match for you? Yes, both guys had things that I desired in a man. Good character, career, looks, heart the whole nine but one was choosen over the other bc I felt he brought more to the table as far as future wise. He actually talked “us/we” alot instead of always using I this and I that.

How would you go about making the decision to pick the one you should be with when you are unsure? sometimes you just know. Nothing majical or anything like that but something more powerful-force like.

Good morning!

disco

April 24th, 2014
9:16 am

Good morning.

Guess I’ll pick up where single left off….

catch a tiger by the toe, if he hollers let him go, eenie meenie miney moe OR

ink pink purple stink poot fart out OR

your mother and my mother were hanging up clothes, my mother punched your mother right in the nose. What color was the blood?

Single and Happy

April 24th, 2014
9:18 am

Hey disco, have you looked at the polar loop activity tracker. I have one of those it tracks calories, sleep, steps and activity. you can add a bluetooth heart rate monitor, or bluetooth gps tracker to it.

DuShawn

April 24th, 2014
9:21 am

“two people at the same time and they both seemed like a good match for you?”…… Well, the first thing I would do is get them to kiss each other. That’s always a good place to start.

SlimNu

April 24th, 2014
9:21 am

Good morning gang

disco

April 24th, 2014
9:25 am

Single – nope. I’m not familiar with it. is it one of those fitness bands that are all the rage right now?

Morning D, Slim.

Single and Happy

April 24th, 2014
9:28 am

Disco yes, it has a display, and does more than the fit bit flex.

SlimNu

April 24th, 2014
9:30 am

Bubble gum bubble gum in a dish, how many pieces do you wish?

Reio

April 24th, 2014
9:31 am

Morning all.

Not sure about this. If all other things are equal, I suppose one should imagine themselves with each person for the long haul. If one is preferable to the other after this inner reflection, then choose that one. But if they still come out even, look at their money. Who either earns more or has the potential to earn more? Who has more ambition? Is one smarter than the other? Do they have kids already? Is one a military veteran? Does one eat watermelon seeds? Can one make grape Kool-Aid better? Does one own a James Brown greatest hits CD? Has one ever climbed Mt. Everest? Whose fart stanks the most?…..Hell, I don’t know. Surely there has to be something to distinguish one from the other that would give him the edge.

disco

April 24th, 2014
9:33 am

Single – well, I’ll admit, I’m a tad bit slow to embrace new technology. By the time I come around it’s 2, 3 or even 4 years old. now don’t get me wrong, when I do embrace it, I get it. I like my ipod and I love my e-reader now but I was far from one of the first folks to have them. heck, I just got a smart phone within the past year. had a tried and true flip phone for the longest.

disco

April 24th, 2014
9:35 am

Reio – I appreciate the amount of thought you put into that. I didn’t really feed into the question because the way I see it, it’s hard enough to meet one somebody that you really like and want to be with. the odds of meeting two – and at the same time – seem pretty astronomical to me.

Reio

April 24th, 2014
9:45 am

disco – I was thinking the same thing. That’s why I took a comic view of it. I mean, how many women find themselves in this position? The truth is, there are far far too many guys out here that ain’t worth the dirt on the bottom of my left shoe, let alone finding two truly wonderful fellas at once. Just doesn’t happen.

Single and Happy

April 24th, 2014
9:45 am

Reio, that’s too much damn thinking, I need an advil (LOL)

Single and Happy

April 24th, 2014
9:47 am

Disco, yea I’m a techie, but I don’t jump on the latest greatest band wagon.

Fay

April 24th, 2014
9:51 am

Morning

Disco I agree with your statement …it’s hard enough to meet one somebody that you really like and want to be with. the odds of meeting two – and at the same time – seem pretty astronomical to me.

The only time I have been caught between 2 is when an ex tries to come back and I am in a relationship other than that having 2 love interest seems farfetched to me …that seems like work trying to juggle them both ….repeating stories …scheduling dates …I would get annoyed real quick

SlimNu

April 24th, 2014
9:57 am

Dayum i’m hungry already

Reio

April 24th, 2014
9:59 am

& – Well, hell, I don’t know. I’m just sitting here tryna figure out what to say to her, and I can’t come up with anything. I suppose this has happened to some women, but it’s a very unlikely scenario. To that end, I would have to say, go with your gut, wish the other one well, and move on. If she is a really strong woman, and can handle this, perhaps she can recommend the one that gets left behind to a friend or relative. Women are always complaining how the good men are kinda scarce. I don’t know. Maybe she should go with the one that gets a flu shot every year…. Who knows.

disco

April 24th, 2014
10:03 am

Reio – or maybe, just maybe, she can flip the script and marry both of them. I know there are many cultures where men can have multiple wives. there has to be at least one where women can have multiple husbands. If not, she should start it. it can be a movement. A revolution. She could change the world.

Single and Happy

April 24th, 2014
10:06 am

Reio, though it’s rare, sometimes us guys have to make that decision also.

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 24th, 2014
10:06 am

Morning All!!

Does one own a James Brown greatest hits CD? – YES Reio, I do!! It is off the chain too!!

On topic – Gotta agree with Disco & Fay today. If you meet one acceptable person to date, consider yourself lucky. I don’t recall having this “dilemma” much past college. When I did find myself in this situation, it was not long at all before one stood out head & shoulders over the other. No contest at all. I met another dude around the time I met hubs. Other dude quickly got eliminated, and would have even if hubs had not shown up.

Almost the weekend!!

disco

April 24th, 2014
10:07 am

Single – why you always the one that’s gotta point out geese and gander? lol.

Single and Happy

April 24th, 2014
10:08 am

I didn’t know diva was talking about any gender in particular, I took as dating in general.

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 24th, 2014
10:10 am

Disco – I’m sure it’s got to be a place like that somewhere on Earth, where a woman can have multiple husbands. I will never forget this episode of National Geographic I saw many years ago. It was this tribe in Africa where the women ran things. Those women were going off on those men, may as well have been ruling with clubs. They were like “these men so stupid, we gotta tell them what to do”! I was hollering!!!

Elijah (The Durty Burd)

April 24th, 2014
10:11 am

Good Morning!

Umm date both of them for as long as I can…..Good times had by all! hehehehehehe!

I’ve had a perfect storms in the dating game, where I have met outstanding ladies at the same time. One works a mid evening shift, one works on the weekend, one has kids, and one is a traveling sales rep,
or long distance relationships….hehehehehehe!

When you are ready to choose one person, usually means you are ready to be in an exclusive relationship.

Fay I think you may have been a player back in the day….So did you go out with the ex while you were in your new relationship?

disco

April 24th, 2014
10:12 am

Hey kimmie!!!! – I don’t doubt it. I believe that in many ways and in many cultures women run thangs but I can’t recall even hearing about or reading about any that (legally) had multiple husbands. I might have to research that. lol.

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 24th, 2014
10:15 am

Pssst Disco – I hear the Italian shorty on the other side of my cube talking to the manager next to me!! :cool:

Reio

April 24th, 2014
10:15 am

disco – Now, seems to me that I saw a documentary on, I want to say, A&E, bout a culture in Tanzania where the women have multiple husbands. They all have to leave the village and bring stuff back to her. The old ones get demoted eventually and the younger one’s take over. She’s viewed as some kind of queen or tribal leader. Which is unique, they said. Usually it’s the other way around. Must be nice.

disco

April 24th, 2014
10:19 am

Kimmie – mmm mmmmm mmmmmmmm…..

I don’t know if I mentioned a guy friend of mine going to the dentist. There was a new female dentist working there. he didn’t get to meet her. she wasn’t his dentist. Upon leaving he asked the receptionist if she was single. The receptionist said no. he asked the receptionist to give her his number and then immediately sent flowers to the office. The dentist called him, they went out a few times. not a match. Still, gutsy move. anyone here ever do anything like that or have anyone do something like that to/for them?

Fay

April 24th, 2014
10:20 am

Elijah…Nope But I was tempted because the ex was one of those time elapsed – never closed the door kind of thing…..I sometimes still think about if I made the right decision by telling him no since the one I rejected him for did not work out either…lol

Reio

April 24th, 2014
10:23 am

“…The receptionist said no….”

By single, do you mean not married? The receptionist said “no”, but she went out with him anyway?

disco

April 24th, 2014
10:25 am

Reio – nope. just mistyped. Must have meant to say “no, she’s not seeing anyone”. the dentist was indeed single.

Reio

April 24th, 2014
10:29 am

disco – I’ve never done this, but in the past I’ve ben told : “Hey that chick Carmen? At the party Friday? She asked me about you…” Or ” A couple of women wanted to know who you were last night…” Nothing ever came of it, that I can recall. And I would never leave my number for someone to give to another person. Just wouldn’t. And didn’t.

disco

April 24th, 2014
10:31 am

Reio – i worked in a building once with a restaurant on the ground floor. A guy who worked in the restaurant left a note on my car. I never called him. partly because his spelling was awful. lol.

Another time I was having dinner with a friend. the bartender was kind of cute. I gave my number to the server and asked her to give it to him. he called, we hung out some. he was a bartender at a popular club on weekends. I got in free at that club for a long time. lol.

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 24th, 2014
10:32 am

Disco – I actually did something like that, years ago. One Saturday morning I threw on some sweats, took the rollers out of my hair & just ran my fingers thru it & horror of horrors – went out with no makeup!LOL!! I had to run to Macy’s to get a gift wrapped for a shower I was going to later. This guy comes up to me and says “excuse me and I don’t mean to bother you. But you are very beautiful”. He was cute, little on the slimmer side, but kinda nerdy like I like. I smiled and said thank you and he went on about his way. Fast forward a few weeks later. I see him out near my neighborhood passing out fliers and shaking hands. He was running for city council! I didn’t go up to him but noted his name. I was able to look up where his office was and since it was near Valentines day, I sent him a card. In it, I reminded him of who I was and gave him my number. He called me the minute he got it and said he definitely remembered me!!!

We went out a few times, but nothing came of it. Nice guy though! That’s the closest I’ve come to making the first move! :cool:

disco

April 24th, 2014
10:34 am

So… anyone ever get involved with someone just because they had the “hookup”? if so, what was the hookup?

Elijah (The Durty Burd)

April 24th, 2014
10:36 am

Women don’t rule anything, except the kitchen…. lol
Now ladies come together and kiss like Porshe and Kendra…..

Reio

April 24th, 2014
10:39 am

Kimmie – Wonder why he approached you, said “….But you are very beautiful”. , turned and walked away, after you thanked him. No other comment? Did you notice him checking out your figure? Anything? Nothing?

Button

April 24th, 2014
10:40 am

More guys have to make the decision compared to us ladies. It’s the guy who have more options as far as who will be wife and who will be the girl for now and the girl right now and the one. jmo

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 24th, 2014
10:47 am

Reio – I doubt he could see much of my figure because I had on baggy sweats and a baggy hoodie. But he said he didn’t want to come off creepy, like he was stalking me. So he just gave me the compliment and we parted ways. I remember that I looked shocked because I was a little self-conscious about how I was looking – not as put together as I was used to. Of course, that’s when you always run into someone!

Reio

April 24th, 2014
10:50 am

disco – I’on no if this counts, but I was a very young adolescent/teenager, and Cynthia’s mom was a manager at a Dolly Madison, bread and cake store. I used to go visit her and let her tell her friends that she and I were an “item”, cause every time I went to her house, she would give me a bag full of lil cakes and pies and bread, rolls….Yes, I was using that heffa. And her mama too.Them damn cakes were sooooo good. And free too. Shiid.

Single and Happy

April 24th, 2014
10:52 am

Disco, I’ve sent strangers flowers before, :-)

disco

April 24th, 2014
10:52 am

Kimmie – for whatever reason your post made me think of a vanity plate I saw yesterday. the plate had smiley faces on it and said “happiness is family”. I was on the phone with a friend at the time and we cracked up. I was like if that’s all it took then darned near everyone would be happy. there are far too many folks on anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds for that to be true. not to mention a lot of them are anxious and/or depressed because of their families. lol.

Reio – oooo. I forgot all about dolly madison. you are right. they were good.

disco

April 24th, 2014
10:55 am

Single – strangers? Random out of the blue strangers or folks that you knew who didn’t quite know you?

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 24th, 2014
10:59 am

not to mention a lot of them are anxious and/or depressed because of their families

Disco – You ain’t never lied! Family sometimes will make you pull your hair out!!LOL!!

I gotta admit, stuff like what your friend did with the dentist is a MAJOR turn on for me!! That is, if I like the dude & he is cute! :cool:

SlimNu

April 24th, 2014
11:00 am

there are far too many folks on anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds for that to be true. not to mention a lot of them are anxious and/or depressed because of their families

disco – Get this, my manager had a meeting with my team this morning. Apparently, some bitter beaaatches have been complaining that we laugh too loud or have too much fun at work. I’m like really?!! You’re miserable and expect everyone else to walk around with a scowl on our faces. We’re here at least 8hrs a day…why not make the best of it. Bitter Betty’s!! :???:

Single and Happy

April 24th, 2014
11:03 am

Disco, strangers, example, receptionist at my doctors office that was flirting with me.

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 24th, 2014
11:06 am

Slim – Yall too happy – like a room without a roof!! :lol: