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Dating: Flip the script

Sometimes single people act like selfish jerks who don’t care much about anyone else. Their dating ethics are self-serving so the people they meet and date get the brunt of all of this. What if we flipped the script and suddenly were to get the treatment we give to others? Would you be worried?

I know a young lady who had a bad habit of disposing men when she got what she wanted from them: Money, attention, sex, etc. When she met up with someone she really liked, she was the one who was disposed and replaced. It was enough to change how she dealt with men. Maybe in these instances, we need to get played to see what it feels like.

If you reflect on the way you treat your dates and your mate, how would you feel if they treated you in the exact same manner?

By Wise Diva

169 comments Add your comment

Lee

April 14th, 2014
6:45 am

I am not worried at all. I do not go out of my way to hurt, harm etc other people for something i might gain. I also believe in what you send out into the world comes back to you, oh Karma …

The young lady whom used people the reason that she got dumped was that those guys were able to see who she was right from the beginning some people recognize greed faster than others

Good Morning,

Single and Happy

April 14th, 2014
7:09 am

Hey everyone

If you reflect on the way you treat your dates and your mate, how would you feel if they treated you in the exact same manner? I’d feel great :-)

What if we flipped the script and suddenly were to get the treatment we give to others? Would you be worried? Nope! It’s life, not going always be “Happy like a room with out a roof” (lmao)

Coach

April 14th, 2014
8:41 am

Funny, how when u get dose of your own medicine its often too bitter to be palatable. Its sucks to have to be treated badly, however when u treat others badly you got it coming. You may not think its bad but ask yourself “would I want someone to do me this way?”

2CPTG©

April 14th, 2014
9:00 am

“If you reflect on the way you treat your dates and your mate, how would you feel if they treated you in the exact same manner?”

Karma has already visited me from my early life indiscretions; Once upon a time, I didn’t give a rat’s ass about anyone’s feelings, emotions, or whatever……til that gal karma came to visit….now…..let’s just say, I don’ learnt my lesson.

disco

April 14th, 2014
9:12 am

Good morning.

do selfish and jerk have to be synonymous? lol. in general I can be quite selfish. Even with being selfish I wouldn’t say that I act like a jerk. I’m upfront about who I am, what I want, what my expectations are, what I’m willing to do, not do etc. most of these things revolve around or benefit me. still, I’m not owning jerk. an individual has the option of taking what I offer or passing on it.

how would I feel if a man treated me the way I treat them? no kind of way. I can respect the truth. give it to me straight, give me an option and let me do what I do. I can accept that.

Leggs

April 14th, 2014
9:13 am

What if we flipped the script and suddenly were to get the treatment we give to others? Would you be worried? – I wouldn’t be worried at all. It would be refreshing to meet someone who treats me the way I would treat them with consideration, respect, being attentive and wanting to actually get to know someone before jumping in the sheets. It’s bothersome (for me) that so many want to jump in the bed w/o getting to know you. Cool they’re putting there wants on the table, but please keep on moving.

Good morning!

(P.S. Disco ~ I purposely kept putting the book down yesterday because I didn’t want to read what I knew was going to happen. I read a page here, a page here and when I finally got to what I knew was going to take place, I threw the book across to the other couch and didn’t pick it up again the rest of the evening…they done stole May! I was upset that Aminata didn’t see that coming.)

disco

April 14th, 2014
9:24 am

Leggs – as I was reading your post re the book I was like “I wonder what part she’s talking about”. lol. that book had some ups and downs and some twists and turns for sure. without spoiling anything I will say that’s not the biggest “oh hell naw”. just keep reading.

2CPTG©

April 14th, 2014
9:32 am

“most of these things revolve around or benefit me”

tsk, tsk, tsk……

disco

April 14th, 2014
9:38 am

2C – tsk tsk nothing. I respect the truth. I could go all uncle sam and ask not what this man can do for me but what I can do for this man but that’s not my style. lol. granted I’m sure some will chime in that it’s more about what we can do for each other. I get that but even that is jumping the gun for me. My mind just doesn’t go into what I can do for him. now, it might wander over into what I will do with him or to him but for him? naw. I don’t think like that. lol.

Lali

April 14th, 2014
9:39 am

What if we flipped the script and suddenly were to get the treatment we give to others? Would you be worried?
*No, I would rejoice, If I were to get the same treatment I give others, well, that would be refreshing

If you reflect on the way you treat your dates and your mate, how would you feel if they treated you in the exact same manner?
*I have mostly had positive dating experiences mainly because I treat people with compassion. I would have no problem with someone treating me in the same manner

2CPTG©

April 14th, 2014
9:40 am

as I read your posts disco, a Tupac song comes to mind……

“you wonder why they call you……”

2CPTG©

April 14th, 2014
9:40 am

oh, and JFK coined that phrase….

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 14th, 2014
9:45 am

Morning All!!

On topic – I have always tried to treat others as I want to be treated. Like any human, I have at times failed. One thing about me I know is that karma does not wait to strike me years down the road like it seems to with others. Naw, I see the err of my ways right away! My mom used to talk about how alot of folks seem to get away with doing “everything they are big enough to do”. Then when they are ready to settle down and want to “do right” things seem to just fall in place for them. Not so with me. It’s okay. That’s life. I’m comfortable with myself and the person I’ve become. I give my best, and if that’s not enough, I can still lay my head down at night and sleep easy.

Pharrell’s interview with Oprah last night was good. He’s a brilliant, humble guy.

Celisea

April 14th, 2014
9:45 am

Ahhh yeah, the old “do others in, til it’s done to you.” Loooove it. I don’t have to look over my shoulder because I don’t mistreat people. I don’t SET OUT to play game, fool, mislead, hide, take down, knock off, nor enjoy the sport of taking advantage of people….all because I can. Neither do I wonder about phsyche of those that do. Living below par is just what some folks have been breed to do. That’s who they are, what they do. Rotten to their bones and to their core, and no doubt will always be. All I can say is “do you boo”, til it comes back…lolololol

I haven’t been one to play the fool, nope, not often. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had life lessons, but there’s a distinct difference in learning from mistakes versus dangling from dumb dumb. I don’t respeat the same mistakes over and over. Where I’ve improved is how I’ve gotten better at how I respond to rotten folks. I don’t snap and just go off. I sit back, listen and access how big a person’s “dirty” is and how they work their lil nasty magic….lol And you know what? A person’s low down and dirty speaks NOTHING to me and what I am and how I do. Your shenanigans speaks nothing to me and my character. All of that is on you and your low down and dirty. A joker’s actions takes nothing away from their intended victim. Hey, it’s ONLY my job to protect me, my heart, to be the best BS detector for things coming my way. It’s not my job to “save” folks and it’s certainly not my job to change folks. If you’re a deceitful, lying, lowdown, dirty joker, it’s my job to get the heck on as soon as the light reveals how you are. I don’t wanna partake in that lightening bolt that’s coming for you…lololol

I have enough knowledge and morally atuned to know that in all walks of like, EVERY aspect, if you mistreat and abuse folks, oh it’s coming and usually double in payback.

abc

April 14th, 2014
9:46 am

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” If you didn’t learn that by kindergarten, you’re probably kind of hopeless in that regard. You serve the world equals good; you expect the world to serve you equals bad. Pretty basic stuff. The whole “me” thing is descriptive of a sociopath, isn’t it?

disco

April 14th, 2014
9:47 am

2C – well considering how uncle sam is a fictitious being I wasn’t crediting “him” as the source. I was just putting that patriotic spin on my post. and don’t go tupac on me. you’ll remind me of my ambitions as a rider. lol. besides that, when you read my posts you probably just ponder if you are or can be the man that has what it takes to crack the code that is me. lol.

abc

April 14th, 2014
9:48 am

And, there’s no such thing as Karma. Christians don’t believe in that, anyway.

Celisea

April 14th, 2014
9:48 am

bred not breed

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 14th, 2014
9:49 am

No, I would rejoice, If I were to get the same treatment I give others, well, that would be refreshing

Lali – I like that.

Actually if I think about it, for once I am getting treated like I have always tried to treat others – by my husband. It is very refreshing. It’s actually taken some time to not always be waiting for the other shoe to drop, which is kinda sad when you think about it. Always expecting others to disappoint you.

Celisea

April 14th, 2014
9:50 am

I don’t believe in the word karma. The good book says you reap what you sow. One thing about God, he’s not like us. He’s forgiving and all of that, but if you knew better when you mistreated or if you know better while mistreating, repent all you want, you’re getting back what you put out.

Leggs

April 14th, 2014
9:53 am

kimmie ~ I saw Pharrell on Sunday morning and yes, he’s very humble and very appreciative. Said he certainly did not mind being the other guy standing next the winners of his songs because he won too. He also said the never will put himself in a box hence his “house w/o a roof.” Why limit yourself, continue to think outside the box. So Purple’s/Legg’s definition of that line didn’t even come close to what his meaning.

disco ~ I’ve come across a few “oh hell naw” moments and know many more to come. One of the things that’s interesting about the book is that so much really hasn’t changed.

disco

April 14th, 2014
9:58 am

I didn’t see pharrell’s interview but I actually think I like purple’s spin on room without a roof better. the whole notion of it representing “thinking outside the box” is just about as cliché as it gets. not to mention, what’s outside the box for one somebody is quite possibly inside the box for someone else. purple’s whole “let the sun shine in” theory was better (in my opinion).

leggs – mind elaborating on what hasn’t changed? I’m just not sure exactly which angle you are taking with that.

hey kimmie!!!!

2CPTG©

April 14th, 2014
9:59 am

“when you read my posts you probably just ponder if you are or can be the man that has what it takes to crack the code that is me”

naw, lil mama….ain’t got the time nor energy to be trynna crack no codes….granted, I don’t mind a challenge, but when it becomes an insurmountable task, then you gotta know when to throw in the towel…..

2CPTG©

April 14th, 2014
10:01 am

“repent all you want, you’re getting back what you put out.”

yep, gotta agree here….even ‘ol David found this out…

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 14th, 2014
10:04 am

Hey Disco!

Leggs – Oprah showed a montage of people all over the world singing and dancing to Happy. He started crying. He talked about how his early years living in the projects shaped him, especially all the good music people around him played. I knew he was big, but had no idea just how big. She said at one point in time, he was responsible for about 43% of the music being played on the radio. He’s an intelligent guy. I really enjoyed it.

Leggs

April 14th, 2014
10:06 am

disco ~ race relations. Without have a debate on race relations, a lot has changed yet a lot has remained the same. Many dynamics w/in that, but in 1787 or whatever year, some of the same things exist now with people stepping on other people’ necks.

Hell, I liked my spin to, but I have to go with what it really means when the person who coined the phrase explains it (lol).

Bluzgirl

April 14th, 2014
10:12 am

Morning all!

I’d love for someone to treat me how I treat others. I love hard, I have a big heart and give my all, I’m a very kind person……..

I had a FANTABULOUS weekend!!! How about ya’ll?

2CPTG©

April 14th, 2014
10:14 am

nice, Bluz…..what did you do…I had a very lucrative weekend, myself…

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 14th, 2014
10:14 am

Leggs- He said when he wrote that song he was at zero, basically writers block. He did the music for the first Despicable Me movie & they asked him to do it for #2. The song was supposed to reflect the change in the character in the movie & it took him 9 tries before he came up with something. The opening chords of the song came to him first, basically taking him to church.

Bluzgirl

April 14th, 2014
10:14 am

Oh…and did ya’ll have to start talking about the “Happy” song?!?! I heard it this morning and have been singing it. I’m starting to hate it!!! LOL!

Bluzgirl

April 14th, 2014
10:16 am

2C – I got a lot done in my yard and house…very productive. The neighbor boys had a bonfire on Friday night and we had a blast and got blasted. LOL! A friend came over on Saturday to help me get an “office” together. Yesterday, I had a fire in my yard and the neighbor boys came over to hang.

Oh…….and I got some……..

disco

April 14th, 2014
10:16 am

Leggs – hey. I’m not arguing against pharrell, just saying I liked the other explanations better.

Bluz – starting to hate it. I only had to hear it a few times to peg it as one of those songs that get on my nerves.

2CPTG©

April 14th, 2014
10:17 am

“Oh…….and I got some……..”

hell, that shoulda been the FIRST thing you mentioned……bout time!

disco

April 14th, 2014
10:17 am

And “whoop there it is” – the new topic. lol.

Bluzgirl

April 14th, 2014
10:17 am

disco – I was never a big fan of the song, but it was catchy…not, it’s extra annoying and I wish they would give it a break!

abc

April 14th, 2014
10:17 am

Just sayin’, pretty much all of that Old Testament stuff is background material only for the New Testament, so that we understand the nature of our Get Out Of Hell Free card. Someone say His name.

There is absolutely nothing you can do to save yourself. Nothing. That’s being Jewish, not Christian. There is no Karma. You do not, in the end, reap what you sow. You’re either in the Book of Life, or you’re not.

Bluzgirl

April 14th, 2014
10:18 am

Hahahaha!

Yes…it was about time!!!!

2CPTG©

April 14th, 2014
10:19 am

abc, you going to hell….

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 14th, 2014
10:20 am

Go on Bluz!! Glad you had a good time!

Bluzgirl

April 14th, 2014
10:21 am

Lali

April 14th, 2014
10:26 am

@abc, yes there are a lot of sociopaths and psychopaths out there…also isn’t the parable from the bible “you reap what you sew” the same thing as Karma really….

Leggs

April 14th, 2014
10:31 am

kimmie ~ I knew he wrote for many, many artists, but his low key persona and not minding being in the background shunted how popular I too thought he was. Pharrel is a very smart man. I liked it when he said people in their business tend to think “it’s all about them” and that’s when they start to crack. It’s never all about you because you had helping hands from so many to get you to where you are. He said when people don’t continue to recognize that, they will inevitably fall….

Fay

April 14th, 2014
10:36 am

Goood Morning!!

I would love to be treated like I treat others! I guess the stars haven’t aligned for me just yet in that department.

Leggs

April 14th, 2014
10:38 am

Oh…….and I got some……..

I’m cracking up. When you said you had a fire and got blasted, that was next (lol).

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 14th, 2014
10:39 am

Leggs – I’ve talked before about how I used to collect biographies. I’m going to get back to that. I am facinated by people’s stories and how they came to be who they are and do what they do.

I saw a special last night of a concert George Michael did in Paris. He had a full symphony orchestra backing him. The venue, his voice, it all was spectacular. I’m so glad he got himself back together. So much talent!

Celisea

April 14th, 2014
10:42 am

Reaping what you sow, is about this life. Not the next one.

Knowledge, please

DuShawn

April 14th, 2014
10:43 am

Whew…..the last four days have taken a year off my life. I’m truly convinced…I’m too old for that shid.

Leggs

April 14th, 2014
10:43 am

Glad you had a fun filled weekend and you got your twerk on (lol).

Bluzgirl

April 14th, 2014
10:44 am

Leggs – Lol! Once he told me he and his girlfriend broke up again, it was game on!!!

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

April 14th, 2014
10:45 am

Du – Do tell!! :)