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Archive for April, 2014

Drunk dating?

I have met a few people who struggle with date anxiety on the first couple of dates. One person uses alcohol to get a little liquid courage. This plan works for some but for others, it is a recipe for disaster. Some people don’t know their drinking limit. Their charming personality starts to become a lot less charming.

Have you ever been on a date with someone who was way too drunk?

Do you think meeting up for drinks as a first date is a good idea? If you don’t drink at all, would it bother you if your date consumed alcohol?

By Wise Diva

Continue reading Drunk dating? »

Not tonight, honey

I was talking to a group of single girls who voiced a concern I usually hear from men. The ladies said that they think the sex life of a married couple would be boring with unmatched libidos. I am sure it is a real possibility, but that doesn’t mean it can be addressed!

So if we worry about hearing “Not tonight, honey” that means communicating this to our partner should be important. If you are expecting sex 4 or 5 times a week, you should let them know what kind of order they will need to fill!

The reality is that sometimes women take it personally when their man aren’t trying to rip their clothes off. Even though their lack of motivation can be work, stress, or even health related.

What would you do if your sexual appetite was significantly different than your partner’s sexual appetite?

Do you worry about ending up with someone who doesn’t want it as often as you do?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

Continue reading Not tonight, honey »

Date someone who reads!

I believe some of the best dating advice I ever heard from my parents was “Date someone who reads.” They were not so much hung up on degrees but they thought it was important to be with someone who was intelligent. At least someone who was intelligent enough to read regularly.

I think this was their way of making sure they wouldn’t end up with dumb grandchildren. It is good advice, though. I know a lot of couples who only have one partner with a desire to read and learn. I think a lot of people dumb down their intellect to make their partner more at ease.

If you met someone who didn’t read books and were proud to say it, would this be a turn off?

Have you ever felt the need to downplay your intellect for your date?

Happy Monday!!

By Wise Diva

Continue reading Date someone who reads! »

Don’t try to change me

My friend Isaac has ended another short-lived romance with a young woman recently. This is the second girlfriend he has had in the last year and he believes the problem is with them, not him. Isaac is really set in his ways and starts to feel uneasy when a woman tries to “improve” something or ask him to change.

I believe relationships are about compromise, but do you think it is fair to heap a bunch of unrealistic expectations on someone you date? Isn’t it easier to just go find the person you really want instead of “building” the ideal match from “as-is” material people?

I think asking a man to change can become a deal breaker for a lot of men. If a guy can’t be his true self, his comfort level with a woman drops dramatically. Ladies, would you say that you feel the same way?
Would it bother you if the person you were seeing tried to make you into someone else as part of some fantasy?

What would you do if they ask you to change something small?

By Wise Diva

Happy …

Continue reading Don’t try to change me »

Torn between two options?

When you put yourself out on the dating scene, you can easily end up in a situation where you have two great potentials. You will have yo choose one eventually, of course, but how do you know which one? Have you ever been torn on who to cut loose and who to keep around?

The easy answer could be who are you attracted to the most. I think it goes deeper than that though. You may have a stronger attraction to the one with a horrible temper. Does it make sense to choose that person?

Have you ever dated two people at the same time and they both seemed like a good match for you?

How would you go about making the decision to pick the one you should be with when you are unsure?

By Wise Diva

Continue reading Torn between two options? »

Dating: Are you too cynical?

I went to a screening for The Other Woman last night. It stars Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann, Kate Upton, and Nicki Minaj. The film was actually pretty funny! I laughed very hard in some parts and I enjoyed seeing the comedic dynamic between wife and a mistress.

In the beginning of the film, Cameron Diaz’ had just started seeing the married man thinking he was single. He had pursued her for an “exclusive” relationship and she resisted at first. When he asked to meet her Dad, she was hesitant but finally agreed. She told him she wanted to stay in their “relationship bubble” with just the two of them for as long as she could. The reality was that she thought he was too perfect. He was buying gifts, being super romantic, and presented himself to be the ideal man. This became a red flag though! She begins to think he is TOO good to be true.

Do you ever meet someone so great that you start to actually look for what is wrong with them? It’s like we can’t trust that we met …

Continue reading Dating: Are you too cynical? »

Attracted to the crazy?

Like a moth to a flame, my friend Ron somehow manages to find the craziest chick in the room to pursue. When all signs point to an emotionally unstable woman, Ron sees someone exciting. I have even noticed a pattern that some people have where they are quiet and reserved yet are drawn to the unpredictable, wild types. Is that opposites attracting or a masochist who can’t help themselves?

If you happen to like a lot of drama, unpredictable behavior, and possibly a side of freaky, then you could be the type attracted to the wild ones. They can be exciting and different but also exhausting and tiresome. You have to decide if all that excitement is worth it in the end.

I don’t want to always be ready for a relationship war, but I certainly went through that crazy phase. In my old age, I have found that peace and quiet in a relationship is a beautiful thing!

Do you find yourself consistently bringing people in your life who are full of drama? How do you know if their brand …

Continue reading Attracted to the crazy? »

Date check: Second opinion?

After multiple dating misadventures, Cathy decided to recruit some of her friends to check her dates. Although she felt as if she was a good judge of character, she sometimes overlooked obvious things because she was blinded by good looks, charm, or that tricky sex haze.

I think a lot of people have great intuition and should be able to trust their gut. How many times has that lead us wrong? When it comes to sizing up a guy, though, other men are the best to notice if something is off. Why do you think that is? I think it works the same with women. I can sense when my guy friends should be careful with the women they pick. I can also clearly see when they should start ring shopping!

Do you ever get second opinions about the people you date? Has anyone ever introduced you to their friends in an effort to get a second opinion on you?

By Wise Diva

Continue reading Date check: Second opinion? »

How understanding are you?

I overheard a woman complaining that she was asked out on a date the same day he wanted to go out. She was deeply bothered that he didn’t follow some dating rule about asking out someone at the last minute. I have also seen some people dumped because they had to cancel on a date because something came up. I wondered shouldn’t we should consider being a lot more flexible?

The dating scene requires a great deal of patience. Things won’t always go your way. Rejection, disappointment, and misunderstandings happen so we should expect it and deal with it. The more understanding you can be without being taken advantage of, the more likely you can successfully navigate the dating scene.

If you went out on a date the same day you were asked out, does it have to mean you are desperate for attention? I think it shows you are spontaneous and open to adventure, which is appealing to some people.

When it comes to dealing with the messy part of dating, how understanding are you?

Do you …

Continue reading How understanding are you? »

Too much control?

Have you ever watched a couple interact and noticed that one of them showed some domineering behavior? What do you do when it’s your friend and their new man or woman is a raging control freak? Do you voice your concern? Casually bring it up?

I have a friend who has handed his entire life over to his new woman. At first I thought it was adorable and sweet that she was “tweaking” little superficial things. Then I realize he has made major life changes in the short time they have been together. If he was happy about those changes I wouldn’t be so worried. He isn’t though and he admitted he did it to make her happy. It saddens me to see all this happen! What would you do?

Have you ever dated someone controlling? How did you establish boundaries?

How can you tell the difference between dating someone who challenges you to be better and someone who is way too controlling?

By Wise Diva

Continue reading Too much control? »