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Dating: Too much masculine/feminine

A friend of mine is seeing someone he met at the gym. He was attracted to her right away and he liked that she was so fit. They both care a lot about their health and fitness.

He has noticed that she has fitness goals to gain a lot more muscle and showed him the motivation pictures. Every picture showed a body builder! He is actually worried that she may go to the extreme and change her appearance up on him.

Suddenly dating a “gym chick” wasn’t such a good idea to him. He believes a woman should be tough but not to tough with large muscles. I think it is rather silly to be worried about it but he makes it seem as a deal breaker. So now women can’t have muscles if it makes her look less feminine?

Do you think some things can make you appear less or more feminine/masculine? Could those traits be a turn off?

By Wise Diva

Happy Friday!

284 comments Add your comment

Lee

March 28th, 2014
7:02 am

Morning,
For me body builder men are a turn off after a certain level i don’t like when their veins stick out i find that gross, and some use drugs to inflate their muscles they look weird to me, it looks like they have balloons inside of them

Disco, the lie would be that one is in a relationship if a guy/gal stated “we are in a relationship but its a secret” there is no relationship its a ploy to keep the other one content..

I so tried to comment yesterday I got a smart phone now, seems i need a child to teach me just how to use it, shrugs
TGIF

Celisea

March 28th, 2014
8:03 am

Murnting!!

Rainy morning….pooh. Not only am I not doing feminine, switching (as my coworker text me and said the other day), bobble head and arched brows, ummm I can’t find an appreciation for “moist.” And we ALL know we can go deep and wide explaining what that consists of. Yeah buddy, TURN OFF is understated.

I’m gone….you know me, up and at ‘em.

Make it a grandtastic day!!

Button

March 28th, 2014
8:18 am

He’s just afraid she might kick his zzazz! lol

I don’t like the body builder type. Way too much muscles and most aren’t grown the old fashion way. They are manufactored which is hazardous to one’s health. That being said, I like em fit and healthy. A man into fitness and health is a HUGE turn on for me. Haven’t met anyone as heath conscience as I am yet and I guess it won’t be happening.

Feminie turn off traits for me in men are the men that wear pink. I’m so happy that trend slowed down. I got tired of seeing a sea of pink shirts everywhere. Men that have that effeminate vibe is a turn off. The ones that like madea a bit too much walking around saying goot merning. This one colleage racked my nerve with that mess and he’s married at that! go figure. Men that paint their nails with the clear polish and last but not least the men purse. When I see that I’m digusted.

Good morning!

Leggs

March 28th, 2014
9:01 am

I don’t think he’s silly to worry about it. It appears to be a major concern of his in that he doesn’t want to date a woman with too many muscles. For me, the solution is simple since he has been told what her goal is. End the relationship before the both gets in too deep because in the long run when she achieves her goal he’s gonna be pissed and he’s pissed and shows out on her, she’s going to do what Button said, whup his scrawny behind.

I like muscles on a man, but too much is a big turnoff. Speaking of muscles, any of you seen the trailer for Hercules? Rock is BUFFED. Even’s a bit too big, but good to look at. Anything bigger than that would not catch my eye with pleasure swirling in my pupils (lol).

Good Wet Friday!

disco

March 28th, 2014
9:10 am

Good morning.

Leggs I have not seen the trailer but I did watch pain and gain (again) last weekend. I still felt like I was being disrespectful to Wahlberg when the rock showed up. that man is one fine specimen.

As for old boy and his bulked up woman issue. later for him. frankly, unless she’s planning on going to the competitive level I really don’t think it’s that big a deal. in all likelihood he would be the only one to really notice all those muscles anyway. It’s not like she’d be walking around town flexing in a bikini all the time.

2CPTG©

March 28th, 2014
9:11 am

I like pink…..so go play, Button!

Button

March 28th, 2014
9:11 am

Leggs – the Rock is one fine muggafugga lol but you know the saying about men with lots of muscles….ahemmm

Button

March 28th, 2014
9:14 am

2C- lol

Leggs – a guy I dated swore he was a Rock double.

disco

March 28th, 2014
9:17 am

Button – about as much truth to that as there is to big hands and big feet. there really is no way of knowing until you know.

DuShawn

March 28th, 2014
9:21 am

It’s good to be fit, but personally I like my women soft on the outside and gushy in the middle.

Heidi Golighty

March 28th, 2014
9:24 am

Good Morning Everyone.
I think his concerns are valid. Most men want their women to have a feminine appearance. Too many muscles on a chick just looks manly.
I get turned off if a man does womanly things to fit in with females. For example, over posting of selfies on Facebook and posting more about Scandal then most women. It’s like why are you trying so hard. Just be a dude.

Off topic: I didn’t get the job I wanted. No job. No man. My life sucks right now

disco

March 28th, 2014
9:28 am

D – really? cuz your wifey sounds kind of tough to me. according to you, she’s got that slick mouth and that demeanor that stops you in your tracks sometimes and makes you nervous other times. soft gushy chicks don’t usually have that kind of power. ijs.

Heidi – I have a job and no man so I guess my life only sucks 50%. lol. girl, don’t sweat that job. It obviously wasn’t for you. stay up and be ready for the next opportunity. As for a man, you might as well conquer getting a job first. ijs.

Heidi Golighty

March 28th, 2014
9:33 am

Disco: I’m scared. I need a job like yesterday

Heidi Golighty

March 28th, 2014
9:35 am

Running out of job leads that will allow me to be in class by 5 on Tuesday and Thursday. The job I interviewed for was perfect with the hours

disco

March 28th, 2014
9:36 am

I don’t mind if a man wears pink. If he looks good in it, he looks good in it. plus, he’s man enough to wear it. on the contrary, grown women who wear a lot of pink tend to irk me. go figure.

Feminine type things I don’t like about men:

1. sitting with leggs crossed (or as D mentioned earlier with a leg underneath them)
2. saying girly phrases such as “honey boom or child please”
3. wearing biking shorts or running tights when he doesn’t run or bike
4. washes his face with anything other than soap and water i.e. has an entire evening face wash routine
5. earrings are just too big. I’ll give a dude a stud but pull back on the hoops and dangly things.

DuShawn

March 28th, 2014
9:39 am

I don’t mean gushy in the traditional soft, sentimental sense , I’m tom bout slippery, gooey and sticky, like the inside of chocolate covered cherries.

disco

March 28th, 2014
9:39 am

Heidi – I understand being without a job must suck. So, I have some questions. are you being particular about what type of work you do? sometimes you just need something for in the meantime. Do you have any side hustles you can fall back on? doing hair, babysitting, running errands for folks who work and don’t have time? you have to get creative when it comes to making that paper.

SlimNu

March 28th, 2014
9:45 am

Heidi – There is a job fair starting at 10 in College Park at the Georgia International COnvention center. ;-)

I don’t blame a dude that doesn’t want his dude looking like Mr. Olympian. I’m not into an overly built guy either, especially the ones with no neck and can’t put their arms down to their side. Just not into meathead looking dudes or a guy who looks like their nickname should be Big Roid lol

DuShawn

March 28th, 2014
9:47 am

Another thing I like, women with them double bounce a$$ cheeks. With each step they take, that a$$ goes up and down and then a slight up again. Man…..that shid is hypnotizing. I can’t wait for the sun dresses; you can really see what I’m talking about when they wear them.

Purple Reign

March 28th, 2014
9:51 am

I like a fit woman. I think the uy doesn’t know what it takes for a womn to get that buff to the point where it’s a turn off. Maybe she doesn’t either because it takes much more than being a gym rat. She is probably just window shopping in those magazines.

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

March 28th, 2014
9:53 am

Morning Gang!

On topic – I agree Button & others, effeminate men in any way turn me off. Also, dude’s that seem to “try too hard” to be a he-man look crazy to me or women that are too girly/Betty Boop with it. Gay men that are over the top with it get on my nerves, as well as gay women that try so hard to look like a thug. In other words, anyone that overdoes it with all that either turn me off or get on my nerves. Just BE. Whatever you are, I’m sure everyone “gets it”.

It’s a difference between fit and unnatural-looking. Dude’s concerns are legit. Even if she doesn’t decide to compete, sounds like she wants to look like she could. On this website, they show these weight loss success stories. There was one woman that straight up looked like a dude- she was downright scary looking. Almost like she had a change. I don’t blame dude for not wanting a woman to look like that. She looked harder than your average dude!

Purple Reign

March 28th, 2014
9:53 am

I like a woman with a nice firm muscle butt. Might get a slight ripple/jiggle when she is walking. Or if she has on a thong you get a little one bounce. All of that thicnkness has an expiration date, if it’s not maintained it’s going to turn to flab and lose it’s shape unless packed into some jeans. lol

disco

March 28th, 2014
9:54 am

D – I have about a half dozen of those little sundresses laid out right now. I remember a particular pair of jeans I had once. don’t recall the brand. Maybe apple bottoms. My son called them my “trick jeans”. when I questioned him on his use of the word trick he said it was because the jeans made my legs look skinny and my booty look big. I loved those jeans. lol.

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

March 28th, 2014
9:58 am

Heidi – What type of position are you looking for?

Button

March 28th, 2014
10:05 am

Kimmie – effiminate men are all around us lol

…trick jeans…..booty look big……All praises that my son respect me enough not to go there. *filesnails*

disco

March 28th, 2014
10:13 am

Button – fortunately for me (and my son) I didn’t think it was disrespectful at all. for one, he wasn’t using the word trick as in calling me a trick. he was using the word trick to call the jeans deceptive. Aside from that, my son was not a baby or even a small child, he was a teenager. He was old enough to know what’s what. he knows if his momma is stepping out in tight, booty hugging jeans what the deal is. unfortunately for some families they can’t talk like that with one another. Fortunately for my family, we can.

Leggs

March 28th, 2014
10:14 am

Button ~ I like pink on a man (lol). Well, you dated him, did you agree with this assessment?

disco ~ you will be drooling when you see your 2nd main squeeze. I’m glad to see him finally in a role other than bubble gum kiddie movies.

Heidi ~ your life doesn’t suck, just the situation. I know you’re pained, but everything happens for a reason. There’s a silver lining in all that disappointment. Once you find it, you’ll feel better! Here’s a {{{hug}}} for you. What is your area of expertise. We’re always hiring here. Email me at sharmynk@yahoo.com and I’ll give you a website to go to see if there are any positions you might be interested in.

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

March 28th, 2014
10:20 am

Heidi – Yeah, email Leggs & I will have her forward any thing I come across. We have alot of positions where I work too, and I also have friends in other places that send me job announcements all the time. Just depends on what you are looking for.

disco

March 28th, 2014
10:21 am

Leggs – the rock will make you lose your concentration. Just be all discombobulated.

Button

March 28th, 2014
10:22 am

disco – …..momma is stepping out in tight, booty hugging jeans what the deal is>> you should stop while your ahead. smh

Leggs – yes he did teeeheee. not as much muscle but he sure did facial wise.

Button

March 28th, 2014
10:23 am

Heidi – verizon telematics is hiring for hundreds of positions. Check out their website.

DuShawn

March 28th, 2014
10:23 am

Speaking of pink, I got a raw pink tie, with pink cuff links and pocket square. When I match that up with the dark gray suit, I always get a lot of compliments for chicks. They dig that ensemble.

disco

March 28th, 2014
10:25 am

Button – exactly how long do you plan to coddle your children? ijs. besides that, coddle all you want, what they don’t learn at home they will learn in the streets. The choice is yours. I’m not a bumper sticker person but today I assign you the bumper sticker “my kid is an honor student at” and I’ll wear the bumper sticker “my kid beat up your honor student”. lol.

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

March 28th, 2014
10:27 am

My hubs has a salmon-pink dress shirt that looks wonderful next to his skintone.

disco

March 28th, 2014
10:27 am

button – on the real, over the years, countless people have accused me of allowing my child to be “too grown”. funny thing is that now that our kids are actually grown, my son is the one out in the world being grown for real. he’s not locked up, doesn’t have a gang of stray babies and doesn’t call me to solve his problems or clean up his messes. Wonder if there is any correlation?

Purple Reign

March 28th, 2014
10:28 am

Du, I wear pink tie, cuffs and square with a light grey suit or with a deep blue suit. Takes a real man to pull off pink! Cheers!

disco

March 28th, 2014
10:32 am

Purple / D – yep. I posted that earlier. No problem with a man wearing pink plus he gets props for being man enough to do it.

Celisea

March 28th, 2014
10:35 am

I think it is rather silly to be worried about it but he makes it seem as a deal breaker.

Me too, Diva. I get what he’s saying and his preference, but it ain’t like the chick has turned into a muscle butt all of a sudden. Right now, she’s working out and that’s all. He’s getting ahead of himself in getting turned off. Diva’s post said the girl set a goal. There’s much to be said and discussed in between her being fine right now, versus turning into muscle butt. Dude is vain to panick this early, to the point of breaking up and all she’s flashed was pictures…not even muscles yet. Hmmmm

Muscle head is what I call dudes too buffed. I don’t like the swollen look. Laz Alonzo is more so on point…for me. I don’t like punny dudes either.

Chicks with their backsides jiggling ain’t cute…to me. That’s why we have spank, spandex girdles and panty girdles.

Aside from effeminate, I hate dudes that are messy. All up in women’s kool-aid. Just instigating and stirring the pot. Take Peter from RHOA. Lately, I haven’t been feeling NeNe, but she pretty much told Peter what he needed to hear. And I can’t stand Cynthia, cause everytime Peter butts his nose in women’s business, she just sit there like a bump on a log. Big dummy. Yet Peter makes all these demand and have the audacity to “run thangs”, and pushes over her or shuts down when they’re trying to have an adult discussion. Sort of like his way or no way. That’s the prime example of a dude leading you nowhere. You gon’ be a man and lead? Then danggit lead and quit with the MITCH-dom. That’s just so not pretty. And anywhoo, you can’t be a mitch and a man at the same time.

Button

March 28th, 2014
10:37 am

I forbid my G to wear anything pink around me.

I don’t even like the color pink. I own nothing pink. (looking thru my closet/drawers)

disco -countless people have accused me of allowing my child to be “too grown”. …if countless ppl have accused you then there must be some truth to it! for me on the flip side countless ppl have complimented me on my well behaved children.

Leggs

March 28th, 2014
10:37 am

DuShawn/Purple ~ that is a nice ensemble. I would definitely give a compliment.

DuShawn

March 28th, 2014
10:38 am

I remember there was brief time when the majority of my underwear and socks were pink…………but that was due to a laundry mishap.

Purple Reign

March 28th, 2014
10:41 am

Yeah no pink underwear though.

Leggs, thank you. And I really want to thnk you for the advice yesterday, deep and on point.

Button, what if he was supported Breast Cancer Awareness? What can he “forbid” you from doing? lol

disco

March 28th, 2014
10:43 am

Button – yes. there was plenty of truth to it. my son had a house key at 5 years old. he also knew how to catch the city bus across town at that age. My son was in the kitchen cooking by age 8. Not pop-tarts (shout out purp) but cooking for real. my son was doing laundry at an early age. Heck, yeah I raised my son to be grown and I always shook my head at the kids who get to be 15, 16, 17 and can’t do a daggone thing. so, having said all that, absolute no shame in my game. As for well-behaved, my son was always the one that other parents wished their kids were more like. again I say, go figure. we might want to get back on topic rather than attack one another’s children or parenting skills. I don’t think that would be such a good idea. what do you think?

YesSheIsCute

March 28th, 2014
10:43 am

Good morning everyone!

Heidi I would suggest you look at Delta they are always hiring for something. They also have a staffing agency so even if you don’t work for the Delta you can get the flight benefits by working as a temp in whereever they place you.

I prefer to date a “manly” man so to speak. I won’t even get on my gender role socialization soapbox…

Purple Reign

March 28th, 2014
10:46 am

This would be a good off topic discussion: Ladies describe a manly man,match that up against with the men consider a manly man. And men describe a “lady” and match that up against what the women consider a “lady” Five bullet points each.

Button

March 28th, 2014
10:47 am

Purple- you’re digging really deep now lol with me knowing him he’ll donate before going out to phyically support anything. So no worries there.

disco

March 28th, 2014
10:47 am

Yes – please. Step up on the soapbox. This could be fun.

Purp – your idea sounds fun too.

DuShawn

March 28th, 2014
10:51 am

“…… my son had a house key at 5 years old. he also knew how to catch the city bus across town at that age.” WTF? -disco- you my girl, by dat shid sound crazy as hell. What 5 year old is gone be catching a dayum city bus alone. Then get off at the bus stop, walk to the crib and let himself. At five, they ain’t supposed to leave your sight.

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

March 28th, 2014
10:53 am

Cel – Men that are all up in women’s stuff are another of my pet peeves. Always got to give their 2 cents on stuff most real men would have no interest in. I had a friend who’s man would always be at the salon with her when she got her hair done. That would have gotten on my last nerve – don’t you have some “man stuff” you could be doing?? She thought it was “romantic” to have him all up under her all the time. I personally think it was a bit stalkerish and controling. :shock:

Button

March 28th, 2014
10:54 am

Du – thank you! I wondered the samething.

disco – I applaud your effort in trying to clean up what you said. I’m not attacking you sorry if you feel as if I am. I see you can dish it but can’t take it.