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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Online dating rituals of the American jerk

Ok listen, I know any reality tv show about dating is designed to be “entertaining” so there are going to be jerks. I knew this and I still decided to watch Online Dating Rituals of the American Male on Bravo Network. My own personal experiences with online dating has ranged from comedy, to tragedy, and back to comedy again. I admit that I watched with trepidation and fear of having horrible flashbacks. I did it for you, though! Want to know what I discovered? People dating online are jerks, and it’s not just the “fellas.”

A woman lied about her size, age, and having children. Another woman mentioned on the first date that she dated someone who asked for golden showers. Guys, I didn’t know the terror dates that some of you have been on. I apologize for what you encounter on the dating scene. It can get really crazy for you too!

Nothing the men on the show did surprised me. Being shallow, on the hunt for hook ups, and wanting some Hollywood romance is par for the course for single guys. One thing that truly bugged me is when one guy suggested that sexual innuendos is a good idea on a first date. He was awful at it. Truly awful. Women like clever, witty, smooth guys. Randomly lobbing out sexual innuendo like a middle school kid and giggling? NO thank you.

Do any of you navigate online dating with success? How do you sort through the profiles and pick out people with potential?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

181 comments Add your comment

Lee

March 21st, 2014
6:49 am

Last time i tried Online dating was last year, i spent a total of 72 hrs on the site. Every loser seemed to write me, I thought hellnooo and de-actived my account.

I stayed away from those that stated things like “i hate”, some even had do not like fat people and guess who was fat in the picture (thats a conflict), if it was negative I didn’t bother responding (i remember one guy had “i will not pay your bills, don’t look to me for anything, he went on a rant ) As you get older its sad and slim pickens

Happy Friday

Single & Happy

March 21st, 2014
7:06 am

Hello everyone,

Here we go again, it’s crazy folks everywhere, let it go!!!

Celisea

March 21st, 2014
8:07 am

I have NEVER ventured into the online dating arena. Something about it feels desperate…..IMO and for me. It’s enough you gotta ward off crazy from folks you encounter real life, real time. Why oh why would one venture into the arena where crazy breeds and hides??? NO THANKS, not interested.

Have I mentioned I met my boo at an event?? Yeah, I did…..lol. Get out and about. Getting on the elevator yesterday, this OJ (trust, the one in his “hay day” version) was with another dude and was shamelessly flirting. Almost embarrassed me. His friend/counterpart was tryna discuss work. HE WASN’T LISTENING. lolol. I smiled, nodded and went on about my business.

THEY ARE OUT THERE. :mrgreen:

off topic: ‘Member me mentioning my lotion? Well the tech that prepped me for my eye exam asks “I don’t want to be intrusive, but what are you wearing?” I laughed and told her O of O lotion….in the purple/lilac bottle. :) . She said the entire room smells like what you’re wearing. Go get it ladies!!

Heidi Golighty

March 21st, 2014
8:38 am

Good Morning Everybody!

I’ve seen that show before. One guy is like sporting dating( more like trying to get his freak on ) while the other guy seems legitimately trying to find the one. I used to think that it was only women like myself that didn’t fan well with online dating but I guess guys have their drama as well.

I haven’t seriously done online dating in over a year. I met someone online that broke my heart. He was the worst guy I’ve ever dated (met). Straight up con artist.
I have a free membership on Eharmony but I refuse to pull the trigger because I don’t want to get hurt again like I did once before. People tell me that I will have better luck on E since the people there are more serious about finding the one but online dating has left me guarded so, for now the communicate for free works until I get bored with it and disconnect all together.

I would love to meet someone the good old fashion way : In person and not through the computer.

Ah well… maybe it’s not my time to date. Very busy with school and pockets are real light to go out to meet someone at an event.

So Random: I’m watching Good Morning America. Robin Williams is on and all I can think of is why was it such a big deal she came out. Didn’t we already know that before the big announcement?
I mean , you don’t hear most people making a big announcement that says hey, look at me I’m straight!

disco

March 21st, 2014
8:46 am

Good morning.

Heidi – I’m all for healing and recuperation and getting yourself together and all that but you might want to work on “walking it off” and “dusting yourself off” and “keeping it moving”. Don’t let setbacks set you back. ijs.

I agree with Single. Busters and jokers and general all around no-goods are everywhere. online, at work, at the grocery, in church, at prayer meeting, in the elevator flirting with folks, even in our own families. Weeding through them is just part of the process.

Celisea

March 21st, 2014
8:49 am

OJ looking bruther….is what I meant

Heidi Golighty

March 21st, 2014
8:50 am

Disco- I’m cool in the sense that I have dusted myself off and wanting to date again. I’m very open to it. It’s just the online dating thing I’m not so comfortable with.

It’s kinda like having a bad shopping experience. You had a bad experience at Walmart so now you only shop at Target :-D

Soot

March 21st, 2014
8:52 am

I met my wife online.

Heidi Golighty

March 21st, 2014
8:53 am

Watching Teen Mom: Chick is upset because her boyfriend is cheating on her.
Uh….dude is in highschool , like what did you expect!!?!?!

Heidi Golighty

March 21st, 2014
8:55 am

Yaaay, My goddess twists are on point today!!!!

disco

March 21st, 2014
9:01 am

Heidi – a friend of mine recently sent me a pic of her goddess twists. They look cute but they also look heavy. lol.

I personally know of plenty of online success stories. the friend that I mentioned yesterday that wants to visit Italy for anniversary 5 met her hubs online. I know another lady that met a man online in October and married him in January. A lot of people judged her for rushing into it but I told her that she was over 50 years old and had no children involved. My only advice to her was to protect her assets. She’s now been married about 7 years. folks like to insist there’s a stigma attached to online dating. To them I say, online dating isn’t the problem. their views on online dating is the problem.

Leggs

March 21st, 2014
9:04 am

Since there are jerks while dating in person, surely there are even more online. The things people say, embellish, leave out is astonishing. The coming attractions I saw for this show had me laughing mostly, and opted not to watch. However, a woman asking for “golden showers” on television is gross. Kinky stuff should be left between the two folk behind closed doors. Rather, demeaning kinking stuff should be left. Ok, ok, it’s not demeaning to her…I get that!

I tried online dating. I didn’t have a smart phone then and pulling out my lap top at night going through all the crazy posts and long a$$ stories quickly got to me. The few I did meet were never a right fit. Too many lies, too many looking for side chicks (although I certainly appreciated the honesty), married men acting single, older men posting pics of when they were 40, etc. Too much, too much!

Good morning!

Coach

March 21st, 2014
9:07 am

No problem with online dating.. If it works for you by all means continue. I would worry about “catfish” tho. The stories related by Wise Diva make instantly *facepalm*…..HA

2CPTG©

March 21st, 2014
9:08 am

Do any of you navigate online dating with success? How do you sort through the profiles and pick out people with potential?

yes….and it’s quite easy if ya wanna know the truth…

Heidi Golighty

March 21st, 2014
9:13 am

Leggs- Most of what you see on TV is scripted. Though I believe she’s a freak I believe the golden showers was added for drama effect.

With online dating, I’m sure anybody can take a look at my inventory and figure out why I’m single (or think they’ve figured out why) but when I look at some of these dudes on dating sites, it is point blank obvious why these guys are single : Profile pics of a dude lying in bed cuddled up with a pet (or worse a stuffed animal) screams I’m a creepy dude that I hope you find me sexy so you’ll jump in the bed with me.
45+ year old dude with multiple pics of him with other people in the club screams, I’m a party dude don’t take me seriously, not walking down the aisle anytime soon. #teamsingle

Any dude posing with his shirt off with no mucscles to show for- I’m desperate and trying to get laid

Dude that has sunglasses on in all of his pics- Don’t tell anyone I’m on this site. I would be mortified if anyone knew (my wife or my girl) I was on this dating site.

Disco- My hair is flat- ironed now so the twists aren’t heavy. The twists really accent my red/brownish/blond tones. I like!!!

Soot

March 21st, 2014
9:15 am

I can be whatever I want online. I can scavenge, be a great guy, or I can be my favorite, a dumpster. It is a smorgasbord. I can be king or kingpin!!

Heidi Golighty

March 21st, 2014
9:15 am

Teen Mom- interracial couple: Caucasian dude with locs down to his shoulders, southern/black drawl, baggy shorts hanging off his butt. Oh and unemployed. Okay, he just took being black a bit too far. LMBO!!!! :lol:

Celisea

March 21st, 2014
9:17 am

Busters and jokers and general all around no-goods are everywhere. online, at work, at the grocery, in church, at prayer meeting, in the elevator flirting with folks, even in our own families

I…JUST….HOLLERED. It’s bad to wake up bitter every morning. A lil sunshine please….lololol

I’m gone to get a banana and get to work. As someone says on here (can’t remember)…I cannot! Not today :)

Y’all have a faaaantabulous day! It’s the weekend and the sun is shining!!

disco

March 21st, 2014
9:20 am

“respect the truth”. enough said.

Heidi Golighty

March 21st, 2014
9:22 am

Teen Mom: The more they zoom into this guy talking and his mannerism…. this cat is a black kid trapped in a white kid’s body. I’m convinced.

disco

March 21st, 2014
9:29 am

So….. heidi, how’s the job search going?

2CPTG©

March 21st, 2014
9:30 am

Heidi, are you in Atlanta?

Heidi Golighty

March 21st, 2014
9:31 am

Disco, I had a phone interview a few days ago. The employer said I should hear back next week to schedule for a face to face

disco

March 21st, 2014
9:31 am

Hey 2C. one of my girls is planning a weekend trip to panama city. imagine that.

Leggs

March 21st, 2014
9:31 am

“I believe she’s a freak I believe the golden showers was added for drama effect” – Possibly, but freak and golden showers can go hand in hand. I’m learning that many people like that particular act.

Heidi Golighty

March 21st, 2014
9:32 am

Teen Mom: chick moved her boyfriend in and her mom is just now finding out. SMH…..

2CPTG©

March 21st, 2014
9:33 am

morning, Disco…are you coming with her?

Heidi Golighty

March 21st, 2014
9:33 am

Leggs- you just reminded me of the Dave Chappelle skit pee on me

Rolling!!!!! LOL

Heidi Golighty

March 21st, 2014
9:34 am

Yes 2 Pac, I’m in the Atlanta area.

disco

March 21st, 2014
9:35 am

2C – nope. this is the chick that upped and moved to Ozark Alabama. I’m still tripping off that. I joked that no one moves to Ozark. They are born there, the grow up and leave, they get old and come back, they send their kids there for the summer but no one moves there. my girl moved there. lol.

Leggs

March 21st, 2014
9:36 am

disco ~ my daughter just left panama city. Cut her trip short because one of her friends got pissy, sloppy drunk wanting to fight folk cussing everyone. She woke up the next morning, told her friend to get dressed, she’s driving her back to Atlanta. I don’t think I’ve seen my child that hot! That friendship is possibly over!

Heidi Golighty

March 21st, 2014
9:36 am

Ugh… my goddess twists came. out. Short hair problems

Reio

March 21st, 2014
9:36 am

Never done this. No nothing about it. Can’t think of anyone that I know that’s done it. I must admit that on the face of it, it actually could be a wonderful way to meet someone. Once you meet in person, you’ll know right away whether they were lying about their looks or not. The truth is, even if you met someone the “old fashioned” way, you can still wind up with a con artist. Glad I’m out of the dating world.

disco

March 21st, 2014
9:37 am

Leggs – it’ll be interesting to see how it turns out. my true, true friends I’d stick with. might cuss them out after they sobered up but we’d get past it. an acquaintance might possibly have found herself stranded in panama city. lLol.

Heidi Golighty

March 21st, 2014
9:38 am

Teen Mom: This chick looks like she’s in her late 30’s

Either these are actors or these kids got held back for a long time in school

disco

March 21st, 2014
9:38 am

Heidi – please don’t walk around with “holes” in your hair. Do you know how to re-attach them yourself?

Hey reio.

CoolShadow

March 21st, 2014
9:39 am

People dating online are jerks, and it’s not just the “fellas.”

Being a jerk transcends gender, racial, social and economic boundaries. It’s just that female jerks are usually assigned a pejorative name for jerk behavior. But everyone who is involved in online dating is not necessarily a jerk.

I’ve dated online previously and my experience was that it paralleled my real life dating experiences; some hits and some misses but generally nothing outrageous. I used online dating as another medium and extension of the dating experience. In my social circle, I was selective about to whom I revealed my online dating experience. Generally, it wasn’t anybody’s business but the ones I told were supportive. People who would be narrow-minded by calling it desperate or thought everyone online is a serial killer I kept out of the loop. The same was done for people who I knew would have a freakish curiosity and bombard me with a bunch of stupid questions or unsubstantiated claims about online activity.

Bottom line is if a person is a jerk in the online dating world, then it’s likely that they’re a jerk in the real world also.

2CPTG©

March 21st, 2014
9:42 am

Leggs,it never ceases to amaze me how these youngins always come here for spring break and just act a damn fool…..falling off balconies, getting arrested, just dumb sh it…..

Heidi Golighty

March 21st, 2014
9:43 am

“Heidi – please don’t walk around with “holes” in your hair”

LOL!!! That just made me laugh. I’m going to retwist after my shower. I should have waited till then. I just had this feeling they may come out in the shower after I put my shower cap on.

Reio

March 21st, 2014
9:43 am

I believe the internet is best used for people that have something specific in mind. If you want a kind, sincere, descent person, looking for a long term relationship, possibly marriage, the internet is probably not your best option. Since people tend to lie about that stuff. But if you are looking for a sugar daddy, side piece, another married person, golden showers,….and you make this known, you can be more successful. I guess.

Reio

March 21st, 2014
9:45 am

Morning disco!

Heidi Golighty

March 21st, 2014
9:46 am

“Bottom line is if a person is a jerk in the online dating world, then it’s likely that they’re a jerk in the real world also.”

Oh, I totally agree. I have met way more jerks online than I have in person.

Sticking to what I know: When the opportunity presents itself, meeting people in person and not online

Leggs

March 21st, 2014
9:48 am

disco ~ same here, interesting to see how it plays out. They’ve been friends since they started h.s. This particular friend is quick to anger, probably because she’s only 4′8 (lol). Seriously, she has fist fights with her mother, which bothers ME! May be the last straw that breaks the camels back.

2C ~ yes sir, just dumb isht! My daughter told me last night that she just wanted to have a good time and not act a fool because she hears me in the back of her head saying “act up if you want and you”ll get what I have to dish out.” Lawdy, I can’t count how many times I have said that (lol).

Into the Light

March 21st, 2014
9:52 am

Morning, all.

Heidi Golighty

March 21st, 2014
9:53 am

Sweet!!!! Just got invited for a 2nd interview!!!!

Whooo Hooo!!!!!!!

Soot

March 21st, 2014
9:53 am

I am getting much better with my obsession to be king. Online is where I can be all that I’m not in reality. Sad, I know. I do get angry and lash out when I think I have one on the line and it falls through. I get really bitter, when I shouldn’t. Especially seeing I’m the one that is the big fat liar in my attempted excursions. My wife thinks that I’m meeting with coworkers, when I met some of these women. I have closed a couple of my online profiles, but I am so addicted to being an actor, playing lots of characters online, that it is hard sometimes and get the best of me. It feels so real, that I almost believe it. It makes me feel like I am smarter than the women I talk with. My best bud says I am not really winning. He says I am losing and should leave this kind of thing alone. Sometimes, it is the only place in the world where I can be king. In real life, it is not like this for me. I and my father and brothers have discussed. If I can’t overcome what now feels like a addiction, I might seek outside help.

Saalest is a good woman. I wouldn’t want to lose her over my fantasies. Please say a prayer for me.

Thank you for allowing me to share my story

disco

March 21st, 2014
9:57 am

Leggs – you had me at 4’8”. It’s usually the little itty bitty chicks that be branging it. lol.

Purple Reign

March 21st, 2014
9:59 am

Fist fights with her mother…and she is still alive?

DuShawn

March 21st, 2014
10:00 am

The last time I dated…….there was no internet.

2CPTG©

March 21st, 2014
10:03 am

Soot…..I’ll play along….

go get help now….you’ve got issues.