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Giving the right signals

I say all the time that single chicks don’t get days off. We are expected to be on alert just in case we are approached by someone with potential. Going to the gym? Don’t look sloppy. Headed to farmer’s market? Put on lipstick. You never know who may cross your path.

Obviously people are not going to always be open to getting approach. There are times when you just don’t have your green light on. When you are open to attracting someone though, it’s important to give the right signals. Body language, facial expressions and conversation can let someone know you are approachable.

My guy friends tell us all the time to stop mean mugging people. Some folks do it without even realizing it. I don’t walk around smiling like a medicated mental patient but my natural facial expression is not an angry face. That should be enough!

Do you think you are approachable? Do you flirt with strangers?
Do you think you give off the right signals so people know you are open to being approached?

By Wise Diva

467 comments Add your comment

Lee

March 19th, 2014
6:51 am

Good Morning,

Married women walk around with lip stick on and dressed up also, so does that mean that they want to be approached? I don’t think so. I have gone out dressed to the hilt not one so much as looked at me, I go out in sweat pant and a tee, they are staring hard and here comes mr. smily face.. shrugs… I think its more attitude how you hold yourself,

Single & Happy

March 19th, 2014
7:57 am

Hey everyone

So EVERY “single chick” out there number one priority is finding a man!! Be yourself, enjoy life and everything will come in time, and if it doesn’t you’ll be having so much fun you want notice it :-D

YesSheIsCute

March 19th, 2014
8:06 am

Good morning everyone! Good morning Single!

I wish people would stop with the whole you are too pretty to be frowning/not smiling/mean mugging line. Maybe I’m just deep in thought about something you couldn’t even wrap your mind around???

I think I’m approachable but I’m very unconcerned for being approached. Honestly, I don’t even notice the opposite sex while I’m out. I find it very weird if a guy strikes up a conversation beyond asking me for the time or the date. I know I don’t give off the right signals that I’m approachable. Being approached is not a priority for me. I’m more concerned with networking in order to meet people in general.

There is no pressure unless you set yourself be under pressure. A woman, or any person for that matter, should always take pride in their appearance when they go out regardless of whether they are looking for someone or not. Yeah, there will be days where you just don’t feel like getting out of your sweats to go to Walmart for something real quick. It happens.

Single & Happy

March 19th, 2014
8:12 am

Hey yes, how are you doing?

Button

March 19th, 2014
8:16 am

Being “on” all the time takes a lot of energy. Getting all dolled up to go grocery shopping is bit extreme but I know some who does it. I’ve never gotten all dolled up but I didn’t go looking all sloopy either and still don’t. I would image the pressure is on for those who wish to get married up and they will do things to make it happen. it is what it is.

Do you think you are approachable? I’ve always been approachable. I guess I have a friendly vibe.

Do you flirt with strangers? I have, I try not to do anymore but I use to be a big flirt. Flirted with the butcher, got the better cut of meat. Flirted with the police but still got that ticket LOL

Good morning!

SlimNu

March 19th, 2014
8:18 am

Just because i’m single does not mean i need to “be prepared to be approached” at any given moment. If i’m at the gym, then i’m going to look like i’m going to/coming from the gym = no lipstick. If i’m out running errands and just so happened to look put together then cool. But hell if i’m going to go out of my way to look man-ready just because i’m single. Also, i hate when dudes come up to you like, “SMILE!”…I’m not going to walk around looking like a robotic stepford wife if that’s not how i feel. I do not believe my natural face is one of a ‘mean-mug’ either. The way this topic was put, makes single folks sound desperate and fake all for the sake of ‘being ready for that special catch’. wtfe lol Now it’s one thing when a guy approaches you that you find attractive and you’re giving him that evil eye or acting stank…your potential loss. But like Lee said, there have been plenty of times I just ran out looking regular to do errands and got approached. Guess everything isn’t for everybody. I know I wouldn’t want a dude that is constantly in the mirror or cannot leave the house in a 12 pc suit even to fill his tank up…because frankly i’m not that way. Don’t need the pressure. lol
Oh and gooooood mertning :-)

SlimNu

March 19th, 2014
8:20 am

Flirted with the butcher, got the better cut of meat. Flirted with the police but still got that ticket

Button – maybe the butcher didn’t get flirted with nearly as much as the po-po lolol Now that i think about it, one time I was coming from the gym and got pulled over for running a YELLOW light (lol) he ended up giving me a warning. Go figure

Single & Happy

March 19th, 2014
8:22 am

Slim a 12 piece suit (LMAO)

Button that better piece of meat mmm hmmmm

Single & Happy

March 19th, 2014
8:23 am

Slim he pulled you over to get a good look at you, gave you a warning, cause not against the law to go through a yellow light (LOL)

YesSheIsCute

March 19th, 2014
8:26 am

Single & Happy I’m ok…just preparing for my language exam next month. SlimNu it’s not a crime to go through a yellow light but I think it is a crime to speed through a yellow light (slowing down). Is that called failure to obey traffic device? Either way, glad you didn’t get a ticket! :)

SlimNu

March 19th, 2014
8:27 am

Single – Well he tried to say it was a red light….when he pulled me over and asked if I knew why he did I said, “yeah because I ran a yellow light” :lol: So i’m really confused why he didn’t give me a ticket with my smart ass mouth :oops:

Single & Happy

March 19th, 2014
8:28 am

Yes, when you going to teach me Spanish (LOL)

Single & Happy

March 19th, 2014
8:32 am

:lol: So i’m really confused why he didn’t give me a ticket with my smart ass mouth :oops: Have you looked in the mirror!!! (LOL)

Button

March 19th, 2014
8:34 am

SlimNu – LOL he was fione! oh chile was he fione! Tall dark and handsome.

Single – oh you’re thinking that “other meat” I didn’t get that far to see. ahemmm LOL

disco

March 19th, 2014
8:36 am

Good morning. looks like y’all are off to a running start. Folks kill me with this approachable stuff. whether a person looks approachable or not is really moot. If you see something you want, you take a chance and go for it. goodness knows I’ve met plenty of men when I was in “stank mode”. For one, I generally give them a bit more credit out the gate. At least they weren’t scared and sitting around waiting for a chick to laugh, smile, wink and send him smoke signals from across the room. Jeez.

disco

March 19th, 2014
8:38 am

I can also think of times when I intentionally went for “unapproachable”. Put on headphones, buried my face in a book, pretended to be making a phone call. Someone intent on hollering is going to holler. Why do you think so many men start off with “excuse me miss”? They know they are interrupting something. your reading, your conversation, your thoughts. They don’t care. they trying to get in where they fit in.

Single & Happy

March 19th, 2014
8:40 am

Button, you mean there’s a better cut than that (LOL)

Disco,= stank mode (LOL)

disco

March 19th, 2014
8:42 am

Come to think of it, the times that I’ve hit on men I just had to make the most of the opportunity. You can’t be waiting on the stars to line up. you have to spot an opportunity and make it do what it do. time waits for no one and there is no perfect time. just go for it. the only time a no will kill you is when you are asking the governor for a reprieve.

Single – for me, “stank mode” is real. no shame in my game.

Button

March 19th, 2014
8:43 am

SlimNu – that happened to me too. I went thru the yellow light but he said I ran the red light. I was too mad but he wasn’t hearing anything I had to say. I flirted but it didn’t work. Dude was like ma’am I understand I’m fine and all and I have a great smile and I thank you for your compliments here’s your ticket and have a great night. He tapped the roof of my car and walked off. I was boiling mad :mrgreen:

Heidi Golighty

March 19th, 2014
8:44 am

Good Morning Everyone!!!

I think a smile goes a long way. If you look bummy, forgot your lipstick, or whatever….. if you smile with someone you make eye contact with sometimes that’s all you need.

Some people think that you need to have makeup on whenever you go out in order to be approached. I disagree. I get approached with or without makeup. Whether I look cute or just okay.
I think when it comes to guys, unless they are only looking to get laid, they can see past all that exterior. It’s about how you are on the inside that matters the most.

Single & Happy

March 19th, 2014
8:45 am

Button, if you said all that, that’s why you got the ticket, he’s thinking I hear that all the time, and you may be the set up woman (LOL)

disco

March 19th, 2014
8:48 am

Re looking dolled up versus looking comfortable. I’ve had guys tell me that they can relax their approach when stepping to chicks who look comfortable (i.e. sweats and ponytail while running out for a gallon of millk). They might not be dressed to the nines themselves and so don’t necessarily want to step to someone who is (apparently some dolled up chicks get snobby – who knew?). I’ve also heard them say that you get a better feel for how a chick looks for real when you catch her like that. the catch, they say, is that some chicks look pretty close to the same with or without makeup but some look like totally different people. it’s been compared to “club light syndrome”. A chick looks one way in the club and another way by the light of day. lol.

Fay

March 19th, 2014
8:50 am

Mornin

Am I approachable ..I like to believe I am. Do I flirt with strangers ..sometimes. I know I don’t walk around looking angry .. but I do love putting a hoodie on and minding my business.

Button

March 19th, 2014
8:50 am

Single – I was laying it on thick to get out of that ticket. LOL

Heidi Golighty

March 19th, 2014
8:51 am

Speaking of looking comfortable- Can someonet explain o me why some guys don’t tie their shoe laces? I think it looks soo tacky if you are a guy above the age of 25 with sneakers that look like they are going to fall off your feet because you failed to tie the laces.

Single & Happy

March 19th, 2014
8:53 am

Disco, we know we know (LOL)

Single & Happy

March 19th, 2014
8:53 am

Heidi cause it’s their choice (LOL)

disco

March 19th, 2014
8:54 am

Heidi – are they fat? You know some folks can’t reach their shoelaces. maybe they have their kids/spouse/whoever tie them in the morning but if they come undone after that, it’s a wrap. lol.

Button

March 19th, 2014
8:55 am

There’s one thing I won’t do and that’s go to the grocery store or any store for that matter in pajamas. I can’t stand seeing that mess.

Button

March 19th, 2014
8:56 am

Heidi – I haven’t seen that trend but I am tired of seeing dudes underwear! all that sagging.

SlimNu

March 19th, 2014
8:58 am

Button – Dayum! He must’ve been one of those, “I know i’m fione” dudes…you should’ve written his butt a ticket for being an arsehole

disco

March 19th, 2014
8:59 am

Heidi – I remember a phase where my son wouldn’t tie his laces. He would just tuck them. used to drive me mad but I let him have that one. now that I run, I swear I think shoe manufacturers make laces too long. the laces just don’t match the shoes or either they think everyone has super wide feet. who knows.

Single & Happy

March 19th, 2014
9:01 am

Slim why was he being an arsehole, just doing his job. He may have been one those I’ve heard all this isht before, I aint about to loose my job for you (LOL)

SlimNu

March 19th, 2014
9:06 am

Check back in l8tr ;-)

SlimNu

March 19th, 2014
9:07 am

Single – You’re right…guess it’s no different than a dude giving me a compliment expecting me to give up the digits. lol brb

Single & Happy

March 19th, 2014
9:08 am

You got it slim :-D

disco

March 19th, 2014
9:10 am

Not to mention, generally flirting gets a much higher return on the homelier, out of shape, funny looking dudes that ordinarily don’t get any play. I imagine the same applies to women. Some get hit on all the time and essentially become immune to it. another compliment is nothing. another somebody grinning in their face is nothing. for them, you’ve got to be it or bring it.

2CPTG©

March 19th, 2014
9:14 am

nah, single gals don’t get days off — y’all gotta “keep oil in ya lamps, forever ready for the bridegroom”

disco

March 19th, 2014
9:19 am

Random – this brother parked next to me this morning. When he walked away from his car I noticed he had the pine tree air freshener hanging (a blue one to be exact). It just struck me as funny. do any of y’all still rock the pine tree air freshener?

Single & Happy

March 19th, 2014
9:23 am

disco, what?? it’s just an air freshener (LOL)

Reio

March 19th, 2014
9:25 am

disco – No air freshener for me. I smell good, naturally, so my car does as well. Doctors can’t explain it.

Morning all!

Button – I’ve seen that a number of times too here. Women walking around in their pajamas. Real pajamas. I assumed it was a new kind of clothing until I was visiting one of my nieces. One of her girlfriends/ co-workers lives in the same apartment complex and came over. In pajamas. I cornered my niece in the kitchen and asked “What’s the name of that outfit Shameeka is wearing?”, “That ain’t no outfit, them pajamas.” Da hell? I see it a lot here. Well, maybe not a lot, but often enough to not be surprised when I do.

On topic; Don’t really know what to say bout this. I must admit that like any man, looks is a given for attraction. The difference with me was that I don’t think I put as much emphasis on looks as the average fella. It mattered, but it wasn’t high on my list, for sure. So, I figure women should leave the house neat and clean, wearing what they feel comfortable in. To hell with guys. If you get approached, just handle it the best way you can. If not, oh well. If you are strong, independent, and lady-like, them summabeeches that don’t approach, are just missin out. Hell.

disco

March 19th, 2014
9:25 am

Single – yes. It is just an air freshener. Still while it seemed like everyone had one when I was growing up I honestly can’t recall the last time I saw one in someone’s car. I remember seeing green, red, blue and yellow but I have no idea what the fragrances were. I remember the “crown” phase when everyone had a crown freshener on the dash. Currently I have a febreze vent clip in my car. I know it doesn’t matter. It was just a random thought. lol.

Single & Happy

March 19th, 2014
9:27 am

Well disco, I have a black one in my truck, maybe it’s a man thing :-D

disco

March 19th, 2014
9:29 am

Single – funny thing is after your post I was going to reply “you must have one” but decided to leave it alone. hilarious. you go head with your pine tree air freshener. So? what does the black one smell like?

Single & Happy

March 19th, 2014
9:30 am

Disco to be honest, have no idea (LOL)

Leggs

March 19th, 2014
9:30 am

I don’t walk around mean mugging, but I don’t keep a permanent smile on my face. Many times I’ve been asked to smile, but if I’m sitting at my desk or even walking down the hallway, I don’t need to smile. It doesn’t mean I’m angry, just going about my business.

Overall my body language is receptive to one approaching me. I’m not shooting daggers out my eyeballs.

Good morning!

Button

March 19th, 2014
9:31 am

If they still sell em folks gone still rock em!

Reio – @ smelling good naturally. Ain’t that the way it should be? lol I can’t stand to be on the elevator with folks that reeks body ordor.

2CPTG©

March 19th, 2014
9:32 am

“when a man findeth a wife…..” what happened to that part????

Purple Reign

March 19th, 2014
9:36 am

It’s the persons “aurora” not the appearance.

False alarm yesterday, but soon.

Leggs

March 19th, 2014
9:37 am

My post got eaten and don’t feel like saying all that again.

I don’t walk around mean mugging, but I don’t wear a permanent smile affixed to my face. No need for you to keep telling me to smile while sitting at my desk or walking down the hallway. I may just be swirling things around in my mind getting into my own feelings. No need to smile.

I’d like to think my overall body language is inviting enough for one to approach. I’m not walking around with daggers shooting out my eyeballs.

If you like what you see you’ll approach, if you don’t you won’t. It’s not complicated.

Good morning, good morning!