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The number matters

If you were in a new relationship would you be pressed to know how many partners your beloved had before you? I think people usually regret bringing the magic number up for discussion. It becomes less the number and more about egos. Why should it matter how many people they had before you?

When faced with the decision to tell your number, ask the person why it is so important to them to know that much detail. Why should they inquire unless they believe a certain number means something significant.

Do you think people you are dating have a right to know this much information?

By Wise Diva

258 comments Add your comment

lee

March 14th, 2014
6:53 am

Good Morning

Personally i don’t care, never asked anyone that not even girl friends of mine. If you ask me that question I will give you something to hold on to a number that will shock and disturb your mind… Well you see I stopped counting at 5 thousand , it seems the rest of the military are married —gezz i was really hopping to finish the rest any suggestions??

HaHa Its Friday Everyone have a wonderful weekend.

Celisea.....Guud gal gettin greater

March 14th, 2014
7:13 am

Murnting!!

On topic: Nunya! Peopel have a right to know what you disclose!!

Celisea.....Guud gal gettin greater

March 14th, 2014
7:13 am

People….I meant

Coach

March 14th, 2014
8:03 am

A man never worries about the previous lovers. Unless its something he needs to know. If a man shows jealousy then imo he is being weak.

MadDog

March 14th, 2014
8:34 am

Why in the world would it matter how many he/she had been with before you? That’s just insecurity IMHO. The only thing that would bother me at 41 would be if she was still a virgin at that same age. That would be a red flag…hangups, no desire, no experience and probably no passion or sexuality. No time for it and won’t deal with it. If my g/f had been with 5 or 25 different partners, at least I know she has some passion and knows what goes where, why it goes there and how long she wants it to go there. Prudes will say she’s “all used up”, but I have no use for prudes, either. I want someone that’s in touch with herself that way and has knowledge of what she does and doesn’t like. Then she can let me know how to make her head ring. That’s need to know information!

disco

March 14th, 2014
8:42 am

Good morning.

Mad dog – I like the way you think.

MadDog

March 14th, 2014
9:00 am

I want my significant other to “want to”, not “let me”. I want her to say “I want to try this”, not have me teach her only from my experience. I want her to say “it feels good when you do this”, not lie there and have me wonder if it’s what she wants. I want her to bring her own ideas and experience and I will reply with mine. I want her to “lose herself in the moment”, not just let me “do my thing and just let me do my thing”. I don’t want her to just “lay down a bunt”, but rather “knock it out of the park.” (baseball phrases).

disco

March 14th, 2014
9:09 am

Speaking of numbers – I wonder how many bloggers are going to show up today?

DuShawn

March 14th, 2014
9:09 am

Most people I know lost count twenty years ago. Grown folks don’t concern themselves with such foolishness.

2CPTG©

March 14th, 2014
9:10 am

seriously, who wants to know this information…..I don’t…..

Single & Happy

March 14th, 2014
9:10 am

Hey everyone

I have a non disclosure clause :-D

SlimNu

March 14th, 2014
9:12 am

Morning,

Nope, wouldn’t be pressed to know how many partners they’ve had…

Sassy Me...juicy fruit ;-)

March 14th, 2014
9:12 am

If you were in a new relationship would you be pressed to know how many partners your beloved had before you?

Key word is “before” you…every one has a past and hopefully that’s where it stays. If it’s not detrimental to me(i.e. could result in me getting something that has no cure) then I don’t need/want to know.

Nice post MadDog…

Sassy Me...juicy fruit ;-)

March 14th, 2014
9:13 am

If it’s not detrimental to me(i.e. could result in me getting something that has no cure) then I don’t need/want to know.

And if it were a situation like that…I’m out..

disco

March 14th, 2014
9:14 am

Well it’s about time y’all showed up. I was about to go “bluz” and commence to just posting to myself all random like. lol.

Reio

March 14th, 2014
9:17 am

Morning all!

I can’t remember ever having been asked this question. If I had been asked, I would have, more than likely, said “Counting you, 74″, or words to that effect. Followed by, “And if you ask me again, I’ll dump yo azz.” I’ll admit that I was quick on the draw when it came to women. Not proud of it, neither am I ashamed of it. Just the way I was. I would have been supremely insulted by such a question and moved to anger. Which, for me, would have been an accomplishment on her part, cause I’ve always been even tempered and slow to anger. A question like this, in my opinion, only goes to demonstrate the relative immaturity and foolhardiness of some people. Think about it. No matter what answer is given, it can never be proven.1, 2,3,48 or 117, there’s no way to prove it. So, why even ask. And what does that have to do with today? Hell, I’d be so upset at such a question that I might be inclined to say “You make number 5, but, if I can get your sister off by herself, she’ll be number 6. Heffa. Hell.”

disco

March 14th, 2014
9:19 am

Random #1: after listening to doug e. fresh and slick rick this morning I had to wonder – do they still make ballys? That made me wonder about tretorn and le coq sportif. This stuff still around?

Purple Reign

March 14th, 2014
9:19 am

More concerned that she’s disease and kid free. Then again nobody wants to date the verified town whore that bangs five different guys every month.

Purple Reign

March 14th, 2014
9:22 am

Yes they still make Bally

disco

March 14th, 2014
9:23 am

Purple – kid free in general or minor/dependent child free?

disco

March 14th, 2014
9:23 am

Random #2 (to blog gents): most men understand that in a relationship they typically have to come out of pocket in some form or fashion. What if a man is creeping with a married chick or a chick who has a man, does he still feel compelled to “provide”? If a creeping chick asked for cash would you tell her to “ask her man”?

Celisea.....Guud gal getting greater

March 14th, 2014
9:26 am

Lawd, I see what kind of day I’m going to have. I came in the door with voicemails, phone ringing off the hook and emails…had to put out a fire before 9:30. Guud thing I came in early….or earlier than I’ve been.

More on topic: No one even brings this up. Not in my world. Honestly, I’ve never been asked…ever. Like I said, what I disclose….about me….is all you need to know.

Single & Happy

March 14th, 2014
9:27 am

Tell her to ask her man!

DuShawn

March 14th, 2014
9:29 am

Occasionally, in a rare moment of self reflection, I’ve tried to count them all, but I always forget a few one nighters or a couple of insignificant nuts. The figure that I do remember is the number of pregnancies I’ve paid to have terminated…….sadly, that’s dayum near double digits.

Bluzgirl

March 14th, 2014
9:33 am

disco – Hey now!!! LOL!!!

Don’t wanna share my number and don’t wanna know his. No point in knowing…

Reio

March 14th, 2014
9:33 am

disco – You’re right. All fellas know that it will cost you something. I’ve never done this, but if I were to do it(creep with a married chick, or a chick that already has a fella), yes, I’ll break her off a buck or two. In my mind, this would increase the likelihood of her continuing to slob. Jus sayin. Cause under the circumstances, that’s all we are doing anyway. I would want it to continue long enough for me to get tired of the heffa. Go git another one. Creeping is a dirty business, in more ways than one.

disco

March 14th, 2014
9:35 am

D – it is what it is.

Hey bluz.

Reio – ‘preciate it.

Single – cheap buzzard. lol.

disco

March 14th, 2014
9:36 am

Random #3: you meet a few people at or around the same time. you all exchange information. in your mind you rank them in the order you are most interested. Your number 1 pick is the one that doesn’t call or doesn’t respond when you call. Do you just forget about #1 and get with one of the picks that is responsive. If so, do you feel like that’s settling?

DuShawn

March 14th, 2014
9:37 am

Most married chicks already have a bill payer……they just need a pipe layer.

disco

March 14th, 2014
9:39 am

D – not necessarily. I think I mentioned the friend who I had to call out once. I asked her straight out how it was that she had a job, a husband AND a boyfriend and yet she never had any money. later she told me it hurt her feelings when I said it but it did serve as a wake-up call.

SlimNu

March 14th, 2014
9:39 am

Purp – But if she’s the town whore, you wouldn’t even need to ask her how many? It would automatically be assumed to be ‘too dayum many” lol

Single & Happy

March 14th, 2014
9:40 am

Disco, cheap my arse you’re always the one who says what’s the point of having a man and you still begging, I aint your man!

DuShawn

March 14th, 2014
9:40 am

“get with one of the picks that is responsive.” Low hanging fruit is always harvested first and taste just as good.

disco

March 14th, 2014
9:42 am

Single – I giggled just now. you right. ain’t no point in having one man and begging but sure as heck ain’t no point in having two and still coming up short. lol.

Reio

March 14th, 2014
9:43 am

disco – If the number one chick doesn’t respond, she’s out. I will approach, but she has to reciprocate. Once I decide to move on, that was it. I tended to make final decisions. In other words, once you were off the list, you stayed off the list. No apologies or explanations excepted. Too many fish in the sea.

Single & Happy

March 14th, 2014
9:44 am

It would automatically be assumed to be ‘too dayum many” lol naw it would automatically be assumed she’s damn good at what she does (LOL)

DuShawn

March 14th, 2014
9:44 am

“I asked her straight out how it was that she had a job, a husband AND a boyfriend and yet she never had any money……” She sounds like a paymaster. Now, if a man got a wife, a mistress and a girlfriend…I can understand why his bread is low.

SlimNu

March 14th, 2014
9:45 am

Well I know a married chick that was messing around….her side dude would break her off a few g’s here and there, make sure she stayed shopped up. But he was married too so I don’t know if that made him feel more secure in that she wouldn’t get crazy on him and jepordize his marriage. (hush money of sorts)

2CPTG©

March 14th, 2014
9:45 am

real talk, every chic that I’ve messed with that already had a man, usually spoiled me, at her dude’s expense…

SlimNu

March 14th, 2014
9:46 am

Single – That doesn’t mean she’s that good, it means she’s that easy. Every time a dude wants to get his weenie wet, he doesn’t always want to have to work overtime for it.

Purple Reign

March 14th, 2014
9:47 am

disco, it depends on the kids. As far as paying for a woman if you are laying with her consistently I think you do have some financial obligations.

Slim, not if you just moved to the town.

Single & Happy

March 14th, 2014
9:47 am

Disco, if she’s married, I aint take care of her and her man, if she’s living with a man, I aint taking care of her and her man. If she’s got a man, I aint taking care of her and her man. see where I’m going with this (LOL)

disco

March 14th, 2014
9:47 am

D – she hardly made enough money to be anybody’s paymaster. She was just a dingbat with a sorry, worthless husband AND a sorry choice in boyfriends. This has been several years, she did finally divorce the hubs but her choices haven’t got much better.

2CPTG©

March 14th, 2014
9:47 am

I will not come outta the pocket with a chic that already has a man…..my job is strictly to provide for her sexual needs….

The man formerly known as Dan...still Superior

March 14th, 2014
9:49 am

Yeah, asking the question would get the number dropped casually.

#BWIM I had a few women ask, and there were some very….diverse reactions.

Reio

March 14th, 2014
9:49 am

“….lol naw it would automatically be assumed she’s damn good at what she does (LOL)”

Well, I don’t know bout that. Cause if she is the town ho, it could just as likely be that all the fellas went to her cause she was easy, and didn’t really care how good she was. You know for a fact, that while you’re in it, it’s the best stuff in the world, unless it’s deeper than the Pacific, and three times wider than the Grand Canyon. this could prove problematic.

kimmie a.k.a Smooth Operator

March 14th, 2014
9:50 am

Sup Gang!

Hey Disco! – I hate this useless, beaten-to-death, topic, so I’ve respond to your Random #3. I’ve been there, had my #1 draft pick to not show much interest. I went on to my next choice. In every case, it was the best thing that could have happened, no settling. First of all, I showed interest in who showed interest to me. Second, nothing ever happened to make me regret my choice, like seeing the 1st choice introducing his company’s new product as CEO or taking the oath of office or something!LOL!! I met another guy around the same time I met hubs and the other guy seemed not to have time for me. You see how that turned out………

2CPTG©

March 14th, 2014
9:50 am

any dude that gives money to a chic with a man, is the ultimate chump in my book!

disco

March 14th, 2014
9:50 am

Single – not knocking your perspective. I’ll just say that the creeping chick that chooses you chose wrong. lol.

Single & Happy

March 14th, 2014
9:50 am

Slim married men do it different from single men, most of the time married have to approach the women, while women approach the single man.

And she may be easy, but she still has to be good, because they wouldn’t keep going back if it was bad. and word also would have gotten around that it wasn’t worth the effort.