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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Should their hometown influence dating?

I have a couple of friends who grew up in New York and DC and now live in the south. After dating multiple southern women who had that “southern” upbringing, they report that dating a woman from their hometown is different. Not really bad or good, just different. It made me wonder if people who had different experiences growing up relate differently to those who did not.

I have a friend who refuses to date men from the north but that is because she had a couple of bad apples. Instead of recognizing her bad choice in men, though, she is convinced they were not a match because they were not raised in the south.

Do you think how/where we grew up shapes our dating experiences?

Have you ever noticed that you are more attracted to people from a specific city, state or region?

By Wise Diva

394 comments Add your comment

Single and Happy

March 7th, 2014
7:09 am

Hello everyone

Celisea

March 7th, 2014
7:55 am

The “way/how” a person was raised more so than their location….IMO I don’t really get how a “state” per se really have any bearings on the how. I think in terms of whether raised to be a beast or a gentleman, a floozy or a lady. Raised to have manners or not. Raised being a strong black woman, mind of your own, not easily influenced, rather than the standard “worry bout folks and what they think.” IMO those traits will make or break an experience….not so much the locale.

What, your attaction meter kicks in or revs up when you’re standing next to someone up north???

Celisea

March 7th, 2014
7:56 am

I’m off to get ready for work :mrgreen:

Rainy weekend…..it’s all guud though.

Toodles!!!

Celisea

March 7th, 2014
7:57 am

Rainy day, I should say…suppose to clear up the weekend.

Button

March 7th, 2014
8:11 am

Only challenge I’ve had/have is when it comes to food. I like grits and the guys I’ve dated and my G don’t care for it or have never heard of it. Other than that I’s got nothing right now. Too early, I’ll be back.

Good morning!

disco

March 7th, 2014
8:44 am

Good morning.

Button – you like grits? I like grits too!!!! lol.

Say what you will but I do try to avoid dating guys from Detroit. Just the mention of Detroit is a red flag for me. lol.

Into the Light

March 7th, 2014
8:47 am

Morning, all.

I don’t think it’s where you were raised as much as how you were raised. That said, I do love a southern man with a genteel charm. Just something about them.

Lol@button on the grits. I completely understand.

Button

March 7th, 2014
8:48 am

disco- YES!! I love me some grits, anytime of the day too. I like em cold, I’ll spread em in a pan and let it get cold, slice em up and smoother em with brown chicken stew. I can’t stand runny grits.

Button

March 7th, 2014
8:50 am

My only bad experience was with the new york guy. And when I was into zodiac signs Gemini was an omen for me. lol

Bluzgirl

March 7th, 2014
8:53 am

Morning!

I decided a while back that I wouldn’t date anymore men from Louisiana. A couple of bad experiences and need to stay away from them! Even though I love New Orleans…

The cutie pie neighbor has dated women from his hometown in Podunk, AL since he moved to Atlanta. He’s going to end up moving back there, I think, but he should have never left.

Bluzgirl

March 7th, 2014
8:54 am

Button – I’m a Sagittarius and have vowed to not date anymore Sags…just not a good fit

Button

March 7th, 2014
8:56 am

Do you think how/where we grew up shapes our dating experiences? Yes, different regions has different cultures. Different cultures means different way of doing things. Clash of the cultures. Northern ppl view things differently than Southern ppl. It can hinder dating if you’re closed minded. Even when it comes to venacular there is a difference.

Button

March 7th, 2014
8:59 am

Bluz – Hi, I can’t say I’ve ever dated a sag. Mostly there were in this order gemini, aries, leo and pices.

Bluzgirl

March 7th, 2014
8:59 am

O/T – I’m in such a GREAT mood this morning for absolutely no reason. This doesn’t happen often. Hope it sticks around!!!

Bluzgirl

March 7th, 2014
9:00 am

Button – I think it may be someone who’s the same sign as you. I don’t know. Sags are definitely a special breed! Lol

Button

March 7th, 2014
9:00 am

This last one is an Aries and so am I. lol POWERFUL!!!!!!

Button

March 7th, 2014
9:01 am

Bluz – I hope so too!

Bluzgirl

March 7th, 2014
9:06 am

Where is everyone?

Into the Light

March 7th, 2014
9:07 am

I’m an Aries, but no luck with Aries men. ; (

Button

March 7th, 2014
9:07 am

The southern drawl can be confusing depending on how deep in the country you are, but it’s so unique. Also gullah is so interesting to hear.

Single and Happy

March 7th, 2014
9:10 am

“Different cultures means different way of doing things. Clash of the cultures. It can hinder dating if you’re closed minded.” This is the biggest obstacle, and it doesn’t matter how you were raised, or where you’re from.

Button

March 7th, 2014
9:11 am

ITL – they can be a handful lol but I find their playfulness is a plus. The lovemaking is so explosive. But don’t make em mad then you’ve got something on your hands. Like 2 rams fighting on a mountain one is going to get pushed off.

disco

March 7th, 2014
9:13 am

I am always tickled by folks who are into astrology. I’ll read the occasional horoscope for kicks but that’s as far as I go. I have one girlfriend who is so deep into signs and astrological compatibility that I often want to just shake her or bang her head into the wall. I usually settle for just rolling my eyes.

Single and Happy

March 7th, 2014
9:14 am

button and that northern accent can be the same, but that goes with any accent.

Single and Happy

March 7th, 2014
9:16 am

Disco, I read mines from the day before sometimes to see how wrong it was (LOL)

disco

March 7th, 2014
9:16 am

re accents. I have a few friends who are so daggone country that I’m constantly asking them to repeat what they are trying to express. I sometimes feel bad because I really cannot make it out. sometimes I have resorted to asking people to spell. I hate when that happens. lol.

Bluzgirl

March 7th, 2014
9:18 am

I’ve always been one to read my horoscope, but not take it seriously. I’m only slightly interested in Astrology…I don’t go all out.

disco

March 7th, 2014
9:18 am

single – I never paid much attention to them mostly because one of my closest childhood friends and I were born on the same day (same hospital but didn’t meet until junior high). she and I are extremely different on so many levels that just the fact that one horoscope is supposed to apply to both of us was enough to deter me from feeding into the hype.

Button

March 7th, 2014
9:19 am

disco – Ef hunnuh ain kno weh hunnuh da from, hunnuh ain gwine kno weh hunnuh dey gwine?

Bluzgirl

March 7th, 2014
9:21 am

Button – Huh? LOL

Into the Light

March 7th, 2014
9:23 am

The man formerly know as DAN - still...Superior

March 7th, 2014
9:24 am

The South is donminated by religion, including the random quoting of biblical principles.

Thus, the man as “head of the household” theme. *SN, the further “south” you go, the more religion, and the more religion, the more this theme dominates. My guys from the West Indies, Jamacia, and parts of Africa belive this en.tire.ly.

That said, the differences are not in cultural cues or differences in upbringing, but how those lessons are taken in by the people within those cultures.

To ascribe a character trait to one class of people – Southerners, Notherners, Blacks, Puerto Ricans – strikes me as an overly broad generalization.

Jerks,tricks, and bad people abound, regardless of arbitrary locations or cultural influences.

Button

March 7th, 2014
9:25 am

a lil gullah

SlimNu

March 7th, 2014
9:26 am

Morning folks,

disco – What’s your disdain of Detroit about? lol

Button – I love grits….one of my exes was from NY and he said when they moved down here they had never heard of grits. He used to put sugar in them….ewwwww. I like butter & cheese in mine. And don’t run Gemini’s into the ground…Yup, i’m one of them :-) lol

Bluzgirl

March 7th, 2014
9:26 am

Dan – Very true…

disco

March 7th, 2014
9:27 am

Okay to get back on topic. The whole thing lends itself to feeding into stereotypes. We could go into the perception of country being equal to slow or southern equating to hospitable. City folks being slick. Yankees being rude. The list goes on and on.

I remember once as a child visiting Mississippi overhearing my grandmother say that “they didn’t teach their kids manners up north”. I remember feeling some kind of way like she was dissing my momma and nem but I was a kid, what could I say? anyway, I digress. Lol.

disco

March 7th, 2014
9:30 am

Hey dan. I see you beat me to bringing this thing back around on topic.

Slim – re Detroit. It’s just a thang. It may not be fair but most of the folks that I know from there have way too much mess with them. way too much.

2CPTG©

March 7th, 2014
9:30 am

I don’t date women from Mars….

Purple Reign

March 7th, 2014
9:32 am

Countries matter to me not home towns.

Purple Reign

March 7th, 2014
9:34 am

I am so hungry!

Button

March 7th, 2014
9:36 am

SlimNu – sugar and grits YUCK, I’ve heard of milk and grits double YUCK. and I don’t like that yellow girts.

Into the Light

March 7th, 2014
9:37 am

Well eat breakfast, Purp. ;)

disco

March 7th, 2014
9:37 am

Purple – well naturally countries would take the issues to a whole new level but they would also have more merit. Some of the “hometown” issues are nothing but simple pettiness. It’s like being from brooklyn and shunning folks from queens. I know a man from Alabama and I crack up every time he starts going off on people from Mississippi. I’m like really? Just really? But it is hilarious.

disco

March 7th, 2014
9:38 am

Slim / button – don’t sleep on sugar in grits. Growing up I ate it both ways because my mom’s side ate it one way (butter/salt/pepper) and my father’s side ate it another way (butter/sugar).

Button

March 7th, 2014
9:41 am

Ef hunnuh ain kno weh hunnuh da from, hunnuh ain gwine kno weh hunnuh dey gwine! = If you don’t know where you are frum, you won’t know where you are going!!

Button

March 7th, 2014
9:42 am

disco – sugar belongs in kool aid not grits! ! LOL

SlimNu

March 7th, 2014
9:43 am

disco – It’s funny you said that because a new employee just moved from up there. She said there was just too much drama and she needed a change. lol

Leggs

March 7th, 2014
9:43 am

First, I love grits. Many don’t feel NYer’s eat grits. It’s a staple. We ate hominy grits. I will never understand putting sugar in grits.

It’s nice to date someone who has similar interests and background as you. I relate to Northerners. Southerners are cool, but when it comes to the men I’ve come across too many who want to coddled and mama boys. There charm is a turn on, but it shouldn’t be the only icing on the cake.

Like L.L Cool J said, he could have had any woman he wanted when he broke up with this h.s. sweetheart. He needed a woman who understand his struggle, where he came from, the northern mentality, who he can identify with. “Part” of the puzzle that has them still together.

Good morning!

disco

March 7th, 2014
9:44 am

button – I’ve also heard coffee and tea drinkers make the same comment. Apparently they feel like cream/sugar/other aids are disrespecting the flavor of the coffee or tea. ijs.

disco

March 7th, 2014
9:46 am

Leggs – that post reminded me of something my son said re a particular group that he has no interest in dating. His comment was that they were cool enough in general but that they didn’t hold up well under pressure. apparently he needs a chick that can take the pressure.