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Is everything a game?

When people don’t like the behavior of the people they are dating, they can start to believe there is some form of game playing going on. A lot of times it isn’t necessarily game playing but trying to figure things out. Everything is not game!

I believe we get paranoid and find it hard to trust people when we should just have more patience. For example, just because you haven’t hooked up after several dates does not mean they are juggling a team of people and you are the benchwarmer.

I have found that there is a way to avoid game playing: honesty. If you suspect their inconsistent behavior or think they are playing games just ask them out right.

Do you believe that meeting people and dating is a game? If so what is the prize and when does the game end?

How do you determine when someone is running game on you?

By Wise Diva

629 comments Add your comment

Single & Happy

March 6th, 2014
8:00 am

Well when I date, I’m trying to get to know the person, with no prejudices. So I’m not trying figure out if they’re playing games.

Into the Light

March 6th, 2014
8:07 am

Morning, Stamps.

I generally trust people until they give me a reason not to. I do temper that with a healthy dose of caution, but I’m not one of those people who always expects the worst from people.

Celisea

March 6th, 2014
8:09 am

Diva, lemme ask you this (cause this post is rather naive), ya think if you asked a person “truly” playing games, if they’re playing games, that they’ll own it??? You think King or Queen Shenanigans gon’ say “yeah that’s me, the dude or chick that play games.” Really Diva? I think most on the up and up are transparent. There’s nothing left to ponder. Even to women being intriguing and having a bit of “mystery” to them, there’s difference in that and having an air about her that’s tugs at your gut. Diva, should we discount intuition?? What say you???

Celisea

March 6th, 2014
8:13 am

IMO, it’s better to err on the side of caution. One thing about me, THE MOMENT you give me cause for pause, it’s pretty much a wrap. Don’t have the time nor patience in trryyynnnaa figure it out.

Single & Happy

March 6th, 2014
8:14 am

Into the Light

March 6th, 2014
8:29 am

Stamps, you better go check the blog door. It must have locked behind me and our fellow bloggers can’t get in.

Where is every one??

Button

March 6th, 2014
8:30 am

How do you determine when someone is running game on you? 1. when there is not reciprocy. 2 When it’s all about him. 3. When my gut tells me. 4. When we’re playing phone tag. 5. When dates are frequently cancelled at the last minute with no real reason. 6. Being stood up on a date.

I never liked playing games when I realized it’s not the way to go and karma can be a *itch. I cant say that I was always on the up and up when I was dating esp when I was younger. I played big time but that was then. Some ppl are just not serious about dating at certian points of their life.

Good morning!

Into the Light

March 6th, 2014
8:35 am

Morning, button. Great list!

Single & Happy

March 6th, 2014
8:35 am

ITL diva was or ajc was late posting this morning.

On topic, the people that don’t trust enough to ask if you’re playing games with them aren’t going to believe what you say anyway. So I don’t even bother with them.

Button

March 6th, 2014
8:38 am

ITL – Hi there! :wink:

Single – you have to have a tough skin when you’re dating! no wussies allowed! When you’re dating you’re taking a chance and you should keep in mind that ppl are just ppl who can tell you anything whether it’s true or not. You can either get with the program or stay on the porch.

YesSheIsCute

March 6th, 2014
8:39 am

Good Morning everyone! Good Morning Single.

ITL you a bestie stealer but I still say good morning! LOL JK

A lot of people play games because it’s what they learned to do and have been doing it for so long they don’t know how to NOT play games. I play games. I play games called Dots, Words With Friends, Monopoly and Street Fighter. Other than that I don’t play relationship games.

Heidi Golighty

March 6th, 2014
8:42 am

Good Morning!
Okay, not everyone you meet plays games. Some people either are going to treat you right and then you have others that simply don’t know how to act.
The best way to avoid being played is not to sleep with someone until the relationship has been established as a committed one . It’s best to wait till marriage but if you don’t want to wait that long, wait long enough for the person’s representatives to show up so you know what you are dealing with to avoid getting “played”
Steve Harvey’s 90 day rule is not long enough. If a dude wants to hit, he just knows okay, put up a front for 90 days and then hit and split.

Single & Happy

March 6th, 2014
8:43 am

Button, a tough skin? you do your thing :-) I don’t and have never had a problem dating. I take people at face value, not trying to figure out if they have a hiding agenda, if they’re playing games or anything else, that takes to much time and energy that I can be focusing on something else.

Button

March 6th, 2014
8:48 am

Single – it comes with the territory when dating. You might get played so be prepared for it. You don’t know the other person from jack so all you can do is be vigilant and know the signs. Ppl don’t owe you a darn thing esp when it comes to dating.

Single & Happy

March 6th, 2014
8:51 am

Button, since I’m not checking to see if I get played, I will never get played, life happens, $hit happens, and we move one. With me I don’t go into every relationship thinking this is the one, and when it doesn’t work out start crying about I got played, it is what it is!

Button

March 6th, 2014
8:53 am

Single- that’s all I was saying!

Button

March 6th, 2014
8:54 am

Single – since I’m not checking to see if I get played, I will never get played–> no, you just won’t admit you were played.

Single & Happy

March 6th, 2014
8:56 am

umm okay button

disco

March 6th, 2014
8:59 am

Good morning y’all.

Games are played. Games will always be played. Some folks are willing participants in the game, others are collateral damage. It is what it is. games don’t stop after dating. Games continue into relationships and marriage. Both men and women have their little ploys that they use to gain benefits beneficial to them. It’s all game. you can choose to dress it up or call it something else but it’s all game.

Single & Happy

March 6th, 2014
9:01 am

button see your opinion of what happens in my life is like others, it doesn’t matter, the only one that matters is mine. I don’t have to “admit it” cause I don’t care :-)

Button

March 6th, 2014
9:05 am

Singe – gotcha

disco

March 6th, 2014
9:07 am

Button – nope. single doesn’t care about being played until he gets played in a major way. Like dude in pain and gain where they forged his signature, got power of attorneys and took over all of his businesses, bank accounts, property and other assets. I suppose if he gets played like that he just might care. lol. some chick gaming him for dinner? that ain’t nothing. lol.

Purple Reign

March 6th, 2014
9:08 am

I don’t trust people, that’s just the way it is. I find comfort in trusting the Lord and him taking care of me, whether it be relationships and their games, friends, family or business. I think in dating if you don’t have a desired outcome it’s a game.

Into the Light

March 6th, 2014
9:10 am

So Purp are you saying you always expect the worst from people?

Leggs

March 6th, 2014
9:10 am

Button ~ great list.

I believe we get paranoid and find it hard to trust people when we should just have more patience. – this seems to be a lot to ask of another…patience. I’ve gotten the impression that many don’t to because they don’t have too. Too many in the market to pick and choose, throw back, grab another, throw back, grab another. The good ones will sit on the side lines laughing because one truly looking for a relationship will come with patience front and center. Games are played everyday. Some are slicker than others trying to disguise it, but it reveals itself in record time if you’re astute enough and not thirsty enough to ignore!

Good morning!

2CPTG©

March 6th, 2014
9:12 am

I hate when I agree with disco……

she’en lyin’…..hell, life’s a game, because you’re always gambling with your decisions….and when you have options, yea, or nay, there’s always the possibility of it not working in your favor…when you lose the ability to choose, that’s when the game’s over….and as disco said, you can dress it up how you want, but it’s still a game.

Button

March 6th, 2014
9:14 am

disco – I saw that movie – about Single – you might be on to something. LOL

Purple – same here! I trust NO ONE! why should I? just bc we’re in a relationship/family member/child? doesn’ t mean a darn thing when it comes to trusting. I have hope that I’m not done wrong. That you keep your word. We are humans, we’re bound to err.

disco

March 6th, 2014
9:14 am

ITL – I can’t speak for purple but I don’t expect the worst from people I just recognize, acknowledge, accept and respect that everyone has a worst. I’m not naïve enough to believe that that worst will never make an appearance, all I’ll ever see is the goody goody gum drop side. This is why I say folks put too much focus on “the good” in dating. More people ought to put “the bad” at the forefront. What’s the worst that you can live with? that’s the hard choice. The good stuff is easy.

disco

March 6th, 2014
9:15 am

2C – why you hate agreeing with me? I’m a bit throwed off and sometimes I make roundabout points but usually there is some method to my madness. lol.

Single & Happy

March 6th, 2014
9:15 am

Disco, even then life happens, cause I let it happen, in real life when most folks get conned, when you listen to the whole story it was really their fault that they did something stupid. Hell if you listen to people every relationship that doesn’t end in marriage, somebody got played! Naw dinner aint nothing cause I’m eating also, I wouldn’t go if I didn’t want to go, I have no problem saying no.

Purple Reign

March 6th, 2014
9:17 am

ITL, no I don’t expect the worst in people.

Here:
http://www.openbible.info/topics/trusting_man

disco

March 6th, 2014
9:17 am

Single – in that regard I’ve always agreed with you. I’ve never been on team “so and so took advantage of me”. I’ve always been on team “you let so and so take advantage of you”. folks rarely want to accept or own their part in their own demise. Guess they just like playing victim.

Celisea

March 6th, 2014
9:25 am

Diva says: I have found that there is a way to avoid game playing: honesty

The best way to avoid game playing is to avoid people that play games. You cannot step to nor introduce a dishonest person to honesty. It’s foreign to them, they know nothing about it. So, be honest all you want, with a dishonest person….that’s going to be neither here nor there with them.

Celisea

March 6th, 2014
9:26 am

Also, I disagree that everybody plays games. Everybody is flawed, but everybody don’t play games. IMO you gotta be cut from that kind of cloth to think along those lines. I don’t set out to game anybody and I especially don’t look or accept that in return.

Single & Happy

March 6th, 2014
9:26 am

This is why I say folks put too much focus on “the good” in dating. More people ought to put “the bad” at the forefront. What’s the worst that you can live with? that’s the hard choice. The good stuff is easy. this is life, whether it be a new relationship, a new car, a new job, or a new anything, it’s the greatest thing in the the world, then 6 to 8 months later “oh I hate it!” When someone is telling me how great something new is, I reply come tell me about it in 6 months. (just hating) LOL

Button

March 6th, 2014
9:29 am

you don’t know whether a person is a game player until you’ve spent some time with them. You don’t know off the bat unless you’ve already been warned ahead of time. In my neigborhood we knew who was the player. Even though we knew he was labeled a player that didn’t stop him from getting the girls. lol it sucked to be him LOL

disco

March 6th, 2014
9:32 am

Single – that’s also why I don’t have a problem asking the hard questions up front. Who cares about what your hobbies are and what kind of movies you like. I wanna know when was the last time you woke up in a strange woman’s bed and had to think to remember where you were. When was the last time you drank so much you threw up or passed out? how many times have you gotten that dreaded phone call or postcard from the clinic asking you to come by? How many roommates (cellmates) have you had? By themselves the questions are innocent enough but the conversations they provoke might give you a tad better perspective than I like candle light dinners and moonlight walks on the beach. lol.

Purple Reign

March 6th, 2014
9:32 am

Single, I agree if you get game ran on your or if you get played you only have yourself to blame.

Button

March 6th, 2014
9:34 am

Single – lol hush yo mouff with being so negative! lol I can say I’ve ever went into something thinking the worst is going to happen. I’m optimistic person.

Into the Light

March 6th, 2014
9:35 am

I hear you, Stamps and disco, but to me that focuses on the negative. Maybe I’m being too Pollyanna, but I like to focus on the best in people.

Reio

March 6th, 2014
9:36 am

Morning all!

I suppose I’ve been played before. Just too blind to see it. To my credit, though, I’ve never tried to play a woman. My goal was to find someone that I could stay with and possibly marry, not just be out for laughs and giggles, and see how it went. Hell, I was serious.

Ran into this kinda stuff from time to time : “Your sister said you didn’t date much.”, “Well, I do, but probably not as much as others.”, “I’on believe that.”, “Why?”, “You look like you got a lot of women.”, “Wha-da-ya mean?”, “You look like a playboy or som’n”, “Why? Cause of the way I dress?”, “Naw, you just look like one-na dem guys that just wants to play around….”
Happened more than once to me. Being accused of playing cause I looked the part. They were as wrong as two left shoes.

Can women spot a playa just by his looks? Just wondering.

Button

March 6th, 2014
9:36 am

disco – I don’t consider those hard questions lol.

disco

March 6th, 2014
9:36 am

Button – there’s no scientific evidence to prove this but I’m willing to bet that (overly) optimistic people probably get played far more than (reasonably) pessimistic people.

disco

March 6th, 2014
9:38 am

Button – it’s not so much that they are hard questions but some might make the argument that one shouldn’t be going there on a first date or too early on. me? I figure why waste time. let’s go ahead and get it out of the way.

Button

March 6th, 2014
9:39 am

disco – well since there’s no scientific evidence then your assestment is moot.

YesSheIsCute

March 6th, 2014
9:40 am

Hi Heidi :D

Good Morning 2C :D

disco

March 6th, 2014
9:40 am

Reio – can a woman spot a player just by his looks? There’s truth in the statement “game recognize game”. Depends on the woman, depends on the player, depends on the game. some men run certain game. a woman familiar with that game will spot it a mile away. a woman never introduced to that game might not. some guys just have a look, an air about them that screams “this ninja ain’t no good”. some women respect that and leave his behind alone, others want to be fair and give him a chance or, even worse, see it but think they can change him.

Single & Happy

March 6th, 2014
9:41 am

Button, purp disco, people have told bad things never happen to me. It’s not that things don’t happen to me, it’s the way I handle them. Nothing is the end of the world, nothing is a “big problem”. I deal with the things that I can and don’t worry about those that I can’t. I can’t control how a another person acts or treat me, but I can control the way I handle the situation. What I don after they’ve shown their true colors is on me.

2CPTG©

March 6th, 2014
9:41 am

morning Cutie……

Button

March 6th, 2014
9:42 am

disco – that’s bc you’re a knockemdownrockemsockem kinda woman! lol You like to stir the pot early on.