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Is love hard to find?

The question that I hear from single people so often: “Why is it so hard to find love?” They want a meaningful relationship but they are not able to meet others who want the same. Many of my male friends say that because sex is so easy to get without love, finding someone to love is harder.

I’m not sure if I agree with that. The people who just want to hook up probably are not interested in relationships at all regardless. I doubt that having access to multiple people is keeping them from finding love. Granted, some single people enjoy playing the field until they feel ready to settle down, but does that become a hinderance?

Do you believe that love is hard to find because sex is so easy to find?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

277 comments Add your comment

lee

February 20th, 2014
6:59 am

Good Morning,

Do you believe that love is hard to find because sex is so easy to find? No, I think sex was always easy to find and always will be.
That has to get old just having sex with different people for years with no one having your back at the end of the day, shrugs

Single & Happy

February 20th, 2014
7:50 am

Hello All

Love aint that hard to find, you just have to be willing to accept it when it shows up.

YesSheIsCute

February 20th, 2014
8:02 am

Good morning. I don’t think easy sex has anything to do with finding love. I think the problem is that people are attracting people they are not compatible with. That is why love is so hard to encounter (I won’t say find b/c he should find me).

Button

February 20th, 2014
8:07 am

You can have schex without love and you can love and not have schex (yet). Combination of love & schex is so much more pleasurable and oh so beautiful!

Finding love is hard when you’re looking for it, love is a force that we have no control over.

Good morning!

The man formerly know as DAN - still...Superior

February 20th, 2014
8:08 am

No.

But “like” is much harder.

Find “like” and “love” is sure to follow.

Button

February 20th, 2014
8:35 am

Some ppl don’t know what love is. It’s not magical. It doesn’t come in a bottle or a certian color. For me love, romantic love is when I have that ahhh feeling. A feeling of attachment, that link that fit so well, we’re an intangible infusion. Love can be so easily confused with lust. There were times I swore up and down it was love but it was pure unadultered lust bc it didn’t last but a hot second and I was off to the next best thing.

disco

February 20th, 2014
8:39 am

Good morning.

I don’t think love is hard to find. I think it’s all around us, all the time. what I do think is difficult is the ability to find the one you want to love and have the stars line up and have that same person love you back. while a lot of people feel like “falling in love” just happens, I think it’s a choice you make. It’s not as random as some would like to believe.

disco

February 20th, 2014
8:41 am

dan – I get your point but considering that there are countless folks that I love and don’t like I can also see how I can like a person very much and yet never love them. or at least, never “love them – love them”. lol.

Bluzgirl

February 20th, 2014
8:49 am

It’s definitely hard to find love when you’re looking…I think that is because your looking at every man/woman as potentially “the one.” Stop looking and it will come. That’s what happened to me the two times I really fell in love. Love found me when I decided I didn’t want it!!!

disco

February 20th, 2014
8:59 am

bluz – I think I recently posted on that bit of clichéd advice. Frankly I think that’s some bull. sure it may (seem to) happen that way for some of the folks some of the time but if the secret were simply to stop looking or stop trying then match.com, eharmony, private matchmakers and all the rest of them wouldn’t be making so much money. lol.

Bluzgirl

February 20th, 2014
9:00 am

True disco! I think it mainly just seems that way. Right now, I’m not interested at all in love because I’m so focused on my life. I’m sure hoping (and praying) that it doesn’t come find me right now!!!

GlammourGirl

February 20th, 2014
9:01 am

I agree with disco’s 8:39 100%.

Leggs

February 20th, 2014
9:12 am

Is love hard to find? Not necessarily. What’s hard to find is someone who wants to take the time and cultivate a relationship where love can grow. Men have always been surrounded with smorgasbord of women so when one small thing does go their way while attempting to cultivate a relationship, they jump from your platter to another with ease.

Open your heart and love will follow. Isn’t that what Jane Seymour keeps saying?

Good morning.

SlimNu

February 20th, 2014
9:12 am

what I do think is difficult is the ability to find the one you want to love and have the stars line up and have that same person love you back. SHAZAAAM! ;-)

Into the Light

February 20th, 2014
9:17 am

Morning, all.

I can’t say it any better than disco did in her 8:39. Church!

disco

February 20th, 2014
9:19 am

well dang. y’all got me feeling all wise this morning. lol.

Into the Light

February 20th, 2014
9:21 am

Where are the boys at this morning???

SlimNu

February 20th, 2014
9:24 am

Who’s milkshake brings all the boys to the yard? That’s who we need to em out.

GlammourGirl

February 20th, 2014
9:27 am

disco – Go ahead and pass the collection plate.

Bluzgirl

February 20th, 2014
9:31 am

Nooooooooo Slim…now, I’m gonna be singing that song…

disco

February 20th, 2014
9:34 am

glammour – I’m’a wait until we get some more bodies in the pews before I pass the plate. right now we just gone keep right on flipping through the hymnal. sang a little something. stall for time. lol. (these jokers think they slick. probably sitting in their car waiting to come in after the collection. they gone learn today).

SlimNu

February 20th, 2014
9:44 am

The man formerly know as DAN - still...Superior

February 20th, 2014
9:48 am

@disco

Point taken; however,

When you realize that “love” is the product of time and chemistry, it’s not that hard to get there.

As I’ve said on here before, that hot-gotta-have-it isht is GREAT! But even at it’s best, it’s going to fizzle. For me, I stopped looking for (just) “love”, “attraction,” and “like” and started focusing on the day after all that, and my life became infinity easier.

kimmie

February 20th, 2014
9:48 am

Morning Gang!!

Look at you, oh Wise Disco!!! Could not have said it better! I agree about waiting to pass the collection plate too. These dudes do think they slick, trying to get off with not paying, AGAIN!!!LOL!!

Really though, easy sex has nothing to do with it. In fact, that’s a cop out dudes use (oh I’m looking for a “nice” girl, but there aren’t any out here – yeah miss me with that!). Like someone said earlier, sex has always been easy to get, since the begining of time. It’s not, however, that easy to get from the women men usually seek to marry! So all that easy sex out there has NEVER stopped a dude from falling in love and marrying when he deemed himself ready and usually it’s to a chick that didn’t drop her panties immediately but made him earn it.

kimmie

February 20th, 2014
9:52 am

Oh and Dan and I have always been >>>here<<<<< on the "like" thing. I've been in love with a guy before but not liked him, which made things not work out. To genuinely like someone makes loving them and living with them so, so much easier! In fact, it's a requirement!

Button

February 20th, 2014
9:53 am

disco – welllll gurl you done said it! ain’t nothing like the stars lining up and when someone loves you back!

kimmie

February 20th, 2014
9:54 am

Oh and Dan and I have always agreed on the “like” thing. I have been in love with a man before but not liked him very much. When you genuinely like the person, it makes loving and living with them so, so much easier. In fact, for me it’s a requirement.

disco

February 20th, 2014
9:56 am

dan – for some people love is the product of time and chemistry. I’m probably one of those time/chemistry people. still for the sake of posting, being contrary and keeping this thing going, there are plenty of folks who just simply love to love. They love and are in love with everyone and everything it seems like. You don’t have to earn their love they just give it out all willy nilly. Some figure if they love you enough, you’ll eventually love them back. some don’t care if you love them back or not. I’m not even saying that’s a bad way to be. I don’t deny that the world needs those type of people even while I admit to not being one of them. lol.

Exiled

February 20th, 2014
9:59 am

Love is hard to find when you are an old geezer!

When you are much older,like most of you are,uall are rational and cagey and so are the men.’she is fly,she single,where she been,what’s wrong with her that she got no man?’ …that’s the men talking before they contemplate an approach.

See,the beautiful are already taken!
If you are still playing the field in the 6th round of the draft,the men think there is something wrong with you! If you are considered stunningly beautiful,it is even worse. And sometimes the men got a point. Halle Berry! :lol:

Like Bluz observed,if you make it a point to even look real hard for love,youve lost the plot. It’s even harder at that point.

Love got away after your 24th birthday,thereabouts!
At this point,ten or plus years later,well,keep hope Alive!

Good morning!

Bluzgirl

February 20th, 2014
10:13 am

Ugh…I gotta go to a meeting for a training that I’ve already done several times…waste of time…

Bluzgirl

February 20th, 2014
10:14 am

Yay! I just found out I don’t have to go to the training!!!

Purple Reign

February 20th, 2014
10:19 am

Love, you have to be open to it in order to find it.

Bluzgirl

February 20th, 2014
10:20 am

Where is everyone?

SlimNu

February 20th, 2014
10:26 am

We’re hiding from you…..you get 3 claps to finds us. lol

The man formerly know as DAN - still...Superior

February 20th, 2014
10:30 am

@Disco

Those people are needy sociopaths. not that there’s anything wrong with that.

kimmie

February 20th, 2014
10:30 am

Hey Purple!!

Just got out of a meeting. Now what are you all doing? Let’s get it popping up in here!!

SlimNu

February 20th, 2014
10:33 am

snoozefest in full effect

kimmie

February 20th, 2014
10:35 am

Disco – What I can’t stand are folks that think everyone is supposed to love like they love. Everyone else’s relationship is supposed to go like theirs is or they don’t give their “stamp of approval” on it. Or since they are in the seemingly perfect marriage, if you are not then there is something you just have to be doing all wrong.

Bluzgirl

February 20th, 2014
10:37 am

kimmie – that drives me crazy. The Ex used to say that he and I had different definitions of what love is. He would say that I needed to love him no matter what BS he did. Love is love is love…it can be different for every relationship. When I was with Psycho in Seattle (thought I was in love), I would say that it may not be perfect love, but it was our love…

disco

February 20th, 2014
10:41 am

dan – maybe so. I always thought something was wrong with them, I just never thought to give that something a name. lol.

kimmie – later for them. most of the time they are faking the funk anyway.

kimmie

February 20th, 2014
10:46 am

Bluz – I have a friend who is like that. First of all, I love her & her hubs to death, but no way could I be in a relationship like theirs. Possessive, jealous, she’s one always checking his cell and FB, when she & I are out together, he’s calling constantly checking up on her, all that & more. I would go batshyt crazy if my hubs started tripping like that. But she thinks the sun does not shine until she & her hubs get up.

When they were dating, she told me they went 6 months before they did the do. Basically they acted like teenagers and frustrated themselves by dry humping until they went on and did it. Things happened quicker with hubs and I, and here she was going “tsk tsk you bad girl” to me. I told her we were 2 grown behind adults, not 16 year olds living with our mommy & daddy still!!

cba

February 20th, 2014
10:49 am

:shock: Study: Georgians really fast at sex :shock:

kimmie

February 20th, 2014
10:51 am

cba – fast compared to who? And how was this research conducted and what was the sample size?

cba

February 20th, 2014
10:52 am

See story on front page of ajc

Single & Happy

February 20th, 2014
10:55 am

SlimNu

February 20th, 2014
11:02 am

As previously stated, Love comes in all forms. Prime example, I get a call from the front desk stating I have a fedex pkg. Come to find out, my bestie ordered me some Sherries Berries just for being an awesome friend through the years as well as good to her son (my godson). Totally unexpected and appreciated. Make me wanna cry :cry: I’m feeling loved :-D

Purple Reign

February 20th, 2014
11:07 am

Hey kimmie! Tavis Smiley?

Purple Reign

February 20th, 2014
11:09 am

kimmie, disco came up with a plan yesterday that will get it popping in here for sure! lol

SlimNu

February 20th, 2014
11:10 am

Let’s see, I’ve had puppy love, then I had eclectic love (was a Prince type) but he definitely taught me a lot about thinking outside the box and myself. I’ve had crazy love (that i’ll drive by your house and see why you aren’t answering the phone, how many biya biya’s you messing with, kind of love) I’ve had young, fun love…um and boring middle of the road love. lol

kimmie

February 20th, 2014
11:12 am

Purple – Tavis makes me want to throw up!!

Give up, cause I’ll never tell!