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Blurred line: Lover and friend

Have you ever had a “friend” who you felt a strong attraction to but didn’t want to cross that line? Do you think it is ever worth it to risk the friendship for a great relationship?

I know we have debated whether or not men and women can just be friends, but can they be lovers, break up, and go back to friends? Things can get dicey if the lines are blurred and communication goes bad. Still, I’m a romantic and I would always take a shot at true love.

Do you have a friend who is a former fling?

If you developed a strong attraction to one of your friends, would you tell them?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

234 comments Add your comment

YesSheIsCute

February 17th, 2014
5:26 am

Awwwww snap…First!

YesSheIsCute

February 17th, 2014
5:32 am

Been there done that. At this age, I’m looking through my timeline at times like dag, I think I missed out on some great guys (who are married or boo-ed up now) because I didn’t want to “put myself out there” and/or “risk losing a friend”. As long as no one does anything dirty, you can remain friends. Seriously, it’s better off starting with friendship anyway. You have a great idea of what type of person he/she is and what they would be apt to do in certain situations instead of doing the guesswork of dating.

Additionally, there are some guys on my timeline that I never thought would be interested in me, in a million years lookswise and their spouses/significant others either look at my level or lesser. Just goes to show you can’t think for other people and what you think they would like or be attracted to on the outside.

lee

February 17th, 2014
7:04 am

Good Morning,

From what i have heard from people is that (have been married a long time) that their spouse is “their best friend” !

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
7:23 am

Hello all

I’ve crossed this line before, and about to try and cross it again. The problem for most is they expect things to change since they’ve started dating, For me the only thing that changes is that now when we talk about relationship things it’s with each other and we start having sex :-D I wouldn’t expect anything else to change because those are things that attracted me to you.

Lee there’s a difference between being married and now they’re your best friend, as opposed to being best friends and then trying to be in a relationship.

When my relationships ended things were a little dicey for a while, but most ended up being friends again. And eventually we just grew apart.

Exiled

February 17th, 2014
8:53 am

For a dude,I think crossing the line is Never a bad idea.
When has killing two birds with one stone Ever been bad?

Friend and occassional lover….best of both worlds.

Even the best fwb don’t come close.

:lol:

Good morning!

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
8:59 am

Morning folks

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
9:08 am

Have you ever had a “friend” who you felt a strong attraction to but didn’t want to cross that line? I’ve had an attraction to a friend and didn’t cross the line…too many other things were a part of the mix.

Do you think it is ever worth it to risk the friendship for a great relationship? Every relationship you enter into is taking a risk, especially if there are emotions/feelings involved. Trying to actually date a ‘friend’ is no different…you’re going to risk it going terribly bad and risk having a very good thing. But if you never roll the dice, you’ll never know unless something else is an issue.

can they be lovers, break up, and go back to friends? Absolutely! Sometimes folks need to explore that sexual tension and get that distraction out of the way in order to get back to being what they are best, whick are friends.

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
9:27 am

let’s be real…..having a friend that you can have relations with, is where it’s at….’specially if the both of you are adults about it….hell, the majority of y’all meet total strangers, sleep with ‘em, and don’t even know their last name, let alone if y’all can even be friends…..then, you got your friend, who’s been waiting in the wings, helping you outta all kinds of jams, and he can’t get no play???? bassackwards!

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
9:38 am

2C – Good point, now how did your weekend go?

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
9:45 am

Slim, my weekend was great; spring is in the air down this way, so got started in my yard – putting down fertilizer, and stuff….also got to see my pops, so it was pretty eventful….thanks for asking tho!

And maybe later on, I’ll share some instances where me and a friend(s) have crossed that line, and it didn’t affect our friendship; if anything, it enhanced it!

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
9:46 am

Slim, if I tell, would that be considered a “hall pass” (heheheheheh)?

disco

February 17th, 2014
9:49 am

Good morning y’all.

Where’d single go? I’m waiting to hear his story. “about to try to cross it again”. What’s up with that?

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
9:54 am

2C – lol, I see you’ve been checking out the feed…some pretty good responses thus far.

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
9:56 am

Morning Gang!!

I had a very fun V-day weekend! While the restaurant was very good, it did not boil me over. I would not be opposed to trying K Rathbun’s steakhouse though. Anyway, the couple we went with were great as usual. The guy even gave his lady a wrist corsage, like they were going to the prom! I thought that was very sweet. My hubs gave me some nice birthstone(garnet) earrings. I gave him 3 cool t-shirts and some candy. We went to see About Last Night on Saturday – fun movie! Kevin Hart & Regina Hall steal the show. All in all a good time was had by all.

Oh, the flowers my hubs sent my job did not arrive until Saturday! Luckily the security guard had my back and put them in the break room fridge and she left me a voicemail.

On topic – I say go for it! If you are good friends, then you already know most of what you need to know about each other, like 2C said, more than you usually know about strangers you meet & date. You also already know you get along. If things don’t work out, yeah it might be a little awkward for a minute, but if you are mature and nothing unforgivable happened, you’ll find your way back to being friends. I know from experience.

disco

February 17th, 2014
10:02 am

Hey kimmie!!!! – while I kind of agree with what you and 2C said re friends I also think that sometimes good friends are hard to find. some friendships can withstand tests, others can’t. you have to ask yourself if the risk is worth it. also with friends of the opposite sex, often the reason one of you can be friends with the other is because you don’t want them. don’t go trying to fix what ain’t broke. lol.

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
10:07 am

often the reason one of you can be friends with the other is because you don’t want them

hate to say it, but it’s usually dudes who “hang around” hoping that some day things will change…dudes be trynna “wait the coochie out”

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
10:08 am

kimmie – Errrrrybody and their sisters, brothers, uncles, grannies etc were out trying to see that movie. But I was pleasantly surprised and entertained by it. I wonder how much it ended up making over the full weekend.

disco

February 17th, 2014
10:08 am

lee – to piggyback single’s post re married folks being best friends. I think that maybe, just maybe, some couples are really friends. Possibly even best friends. I think that more often than not, folks say that because they think it sounds good. they think it makes their relationship seem more solid on the outside looking in. they say it “just because”. Heck, I know couples that don’t even like each other let alone walk around fronting like they are best friends. lol.

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
10:18 am

Being good friends does not guarantee an iron clad relationship

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
10:20 am

Disco – Absolutely, you have to ask yourself if it’s worth it. I agree with you about one not wanting the other which is why they are in the friend zone. I had one case where a good friend admitted his feelings for me. He was a nice enough guy, I just did not feel that way about him at all. In fact, he felt more like a brother to me so the thought of crossing that line was gross. Our friendship did change after that, but it probably would have anyway. Not long after that he met the woman that ended up becoming his wife & mother of his 3 kids. I don’t see us hanging out like we used to thru all of that.

I did have one good friend that admitted his feeling for me. It was right out of college. He was handsome, smart, everything, we just were always good friends from day one. When he admitted he had feelings for me, I was on the “don’t want to ruin the friendship” tip. Plus I was already dating a friend of his & thought that would be kinda foul. We stayed good friends, but kinda grew apart. 2 years down the road I get an invite to his wedding. I had broken up with his friend a year before that. Something came over me, and seeing him standing at that alter in his tux, marrying someone else, I felt at that time I had made a big mistake! Tears ran down my face the entire wedding and I left the reception early. It took me awhile to get over that. What is meant to be will be and I’m glad things worked out how they did and I have an awesome husband. But at the time back then, my heart was broken! I would not wish that on anyone.

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
10:23 am

Slim – It did well, came second to the Lego movie. Had it not been for Lego, it probably would have been number 1.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
10:25 am

Hey disco, see you finally made it through the snow storm. I just need to ask my neighbor if I’m just a fill in or is the feeling mutual. We call each other just because, and seem to know how long it’s been since we last saw each other.

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-shirts)

February 17th, 2014
10:31 am

Hi All. Hi WD

I’ve been away for awhile and wondered who was still on ;-)

I’ve never had much luck going from friends to lovers. Biggest reason I think is because a) it takes BOTH parties. B) The HATED “Friendship Zone. C) I’ve been guilty of trying to be “friends” knowing full well that I wanted more from the beginning (the man’s secret agenda”. I don’t think men generally look for women friends in a pure friendship way…the hormones seem to get in the way.

I have had lovers that became friends (sort of) after the breakup, but even then there is some emotional distance…trust issue. Anyway, these are just my thoughts and as we all know, one size does not fit all ;-)

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
10:31 am

Kimmie, how do you know it’s meant to be if you don’t try it?

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
10:34 am

Randyt – Wzuuuuuup! Wow, it’s been Forever since i’ve seen you your name in print. How ya been? At the rate we’re going, maybe we’ll have all the oldies back up in the place. ;-)

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
10:35 am

kimmie, that scenario you just stated is what happens to a lotta folks who throw that “we’re just friends” mantra around….hell, if you’re feeling someone, go for it! Granted, things worked out for you in the end, but don’t go thru life thinking “what if?”

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
10:36 am

Speaking on the “meant to be” phrase, how in the hell do you know that a certain someone is your “meant to be”? Is it a feeling? Does everything just line up? Is it just so easy to be together? Are you two all you ever wanted in a mate? I mean how do you KNOW?

disco

February 17th, 2014
10:36 am

single – so you are venturing into two territories. Shattering the friend zone AND getting with a neighbor. you feeling bold and adventurous in 2014.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
10:37 am

Slim we are meant to be (LOL) I have that feeling :-D

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-shirts)

February 17th, 2014
10:37 am

Hi SlimNu,

Doing pretty good, need to get out more. Spent some time putting out some “fires” overseas, then took on some contracts that kept me busy. Being home IS a vacation ;-) .

How are you? Who all is still on from the old days?

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
10:38 am

Single – That’s why I said in the beginning to go for it!!

I didn’t go for it back then, and for a long time I questioned myself.

Hey RandyT!!! Wonderful to read you again. It’s been a long time!!

disco

February 17th, 2014
10:39 am

slim – romantic folks will tell you that you will “just know”. I’m not a romantic type. I say you never know. you can be married 85 years and never know if that’s the one you were supposed to be married to. the best one for you. all you can really do is make the most of what you are working with. lol.

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-shirts)

February 17th, 2014
10:40 am

Hi Kimmie,

All things good for you?

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
10:41 am

2C – You got it! I would not wish that experience on anyone! I dated and went on with my life of course, but it took a few years to really get over that one. I made a promise to myself to never let anything like that happen again, and it didn’t.

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
10:43 am

Slim – how do you know? when you don’t have to “try” to like that other person…when everything just flows…you have a natural chemistry with one another…

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
10:43 am

RandyT – Things are wonderful for me – got married back in June 2011, awesome hubs and 2 great kids, good job and dream car(powder blue Beetle convertible). I cannot complain at all!!

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-shirts)

February 17th, 2014
10:44 am

Kimmie,

Thought I remembered you were getting married. Sounds like you are living the dream :-0

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
10:44 am

Disco, I’ve always been bold and adventurous, you know you can’t fail if you don’t try,and I don’t have a problem with failing. I don’t like going through life thinking what if!

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
10:51 am

Disco – Who says who one is “supposed” to be with? I’m with 2C – everything flows and it feels natural. I will say if you are with someone, whether it’s 2 years or 85 years, and you are still questioning in the back of your head that it’s someone else out there for you, that something is missing, or you’re still hung up on someone else but married to another, then I would say you are just making the best of your situation, working with what you have. That is probably the case for alot of people.

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
10:52 am

Single – We are meant to be good good friends :oops: :lol:

Randy – Purple Reign has been in recently after taking a bit of a hiatus…a few others that’ll probably pop in at some point today.

disco – “Make the most of what you’re working with” lolol That could be anything though, just hanging on for the sake of having someone.

disco

February 17th, 2014
10:52 am

single – I put neighbors almost in the same category as co-workers. Just too daggone close for comfort just in case the mess hits the fan. Of course, I have an acquaintance who married her next door neighbor so I guess it happens.

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-shirts)

February 17th, 2014
10:55 am

I will check back…Home Depot run…and then some digging in the dirt ;-)

disco

February 17th, 2014
10:56 am

kimmie – my post was in response to slim asking how you know. I’ve heard countless old folks trying to dispense advice by simply saying “when it’s right, you’ll know” or words to that effect. I get where they are coming from. I just disagree. Countless folks feel like things are right and those things are as wrong as two left shoes. To embrace “knowing” whole-heartedly is just going too far out on a limb for me. I don’t buy it. I’m sure most of the world’s divorced couples “just knew” that person was right for them. I don’t buy it.

slim – it does sound like settling but that wasn’t what I meant. I simply meant that, in my opinion, one can never really know.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
10:56 am

Now I just a had friend tell me I was the one she missed out on, I replied yea when you were young and fine, and thought you were the sh!t you didn’t want me, now that you’re feeling down about you weight and age, I’m the one, I don’t think so (LOL)

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
10:57 am

See I tried and failed (LOL) oh well on to the next one (LOL)

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
10:57 am

Disco – In my old neighborhood, one of the neighbors lost his wife. A few years down the line, he married a lady down the street. Yeah, it happens!

Into the Light

February 17th, 2014
11:01 am

Morning, all.

Heeeeeey, Randy! Good to read you.

I’m sick today and the doc is booked. Pooh.

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
11:01 am

Single – I see you’re cutting them left and right lol But do you want to be that ‘one’ waiting in the wings for me? I don’t think I have one right now filling that spot? :lol:

daddy swiss

February 17th, 2014
11:02 am

“…can they be lovers, break up, and go back to friends?”

Um, no. First off, I would argue that they were never just friends in the first place. Or rather, that the dude never wanted to be just friends. Or, maybe I should rephrase that… If a dude I’m spending 1-on-1 time with you, he’s I’m not your friend, he’s I’m waiting for an opportunity. As far as going from a physical relationship back to just friends, again no. I can go from physical to platonic, sure, but I’m not going to be spending any 1-on-1 time with you or having long phone conversations, etc. We can be cordial acquaintances, but that’s about it.

Off topic: Dumbass

daddy swiss

February 17th, 2014
11:03 am

Oh, and howdy, Randy. Hope all’s well with you!

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
11:07 am

ITL – Try an Urgent care instead…that is if you feel super bad enough to not have to wait on doc

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
11:08 am

Disco – I see what you are saying. I guess it depends on the definition of “right”. While one might not agree on what feels right, I think most know when it feels wrong. Wrong to the point of not even trying to “make” it work.

I don’t necessarily think that just because 2 people get divorced it means they were not right for each other. Shyt happens and people and circumstances change. You never know what life might throw at you. Sometimes people are right for a season or a reason and once that has passed, it’s over.

I have experienced that feeling of “knowing”, with my husband. It’s unlike anything I felt with any other man. It’s not overwhelming or earth-shattering or even overly romantic. It’s almost subtle. But very, very different.

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
11:11 am

Single, what you mentioned seems to happen to a lot of dudes – gals will overlook you when they think their sh!t don’t stink….then, when father time starts to kick their ass, they come moaning about the days of old when they “should have” gotten with you….now they’re all outta shape, house full of kids with multiple baby-daddies, and wanna know why a dude ain’t trynna holla. GTFOH.

Into the Light

February 17th, 2014
11:14 am

Good idea, Slim. Thanks!!!

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
11:15 am

And that SAME scenario happens all the time with dudes…running through chicks, taking for granted a good girl, blah blah blah…Then later on when they have beer guts, have no money since their whole check goes to child support, barely can get a woody, now ya want to come running back. :-D

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
11:17 am

Slim, I agree…..

disco

February 17th, 2014
11:18 am

2C – I run into the male equivalents of the chicks you speak of. Dudes are divorced (two or three times over). Got kids by ex-wives and stray outside kids. they have passed their prime physically and possibly with their earning potential. They aren’t in shape anymore (though you can’t tell them shufflers they don’t still have swagger). Their bellies are sagging and their man boobs give mine a run for the money. yet, none of that keeps them from grinning in your face and trying to use that old school mack game. smdh.

Into the Light

February 17th, 2014
11:20 am

Peach it, Slim. I wish I had a nickel for every Joker that’s said to me, “I didn’t realize what I had until it was gone. ” yeah, and??? What am I supposed to do with that?

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
11:21 am

Disco – I understand what you are saying. But barring obvious obstacles, that’s what you have to go on sometimes. Everything can look “right” on paper, but if it just doesn’t feel right, a lot of folks go with their gutt.

I have experienced “knowing” with my now husband. It was nothing earth-shattering or even overly romantic. Almost subtle. But very, very different from my experiences with other men. Something I could not put my finger on. Things just seemed to fall into place, where as they didn’t in other relationships I was in that I would have thought had a chance.

I don’t really think that because a couple divorces they were necessarily wrong for each other.

Into the Light

February 17th, 2014
11:21 am

preach, not peach

disco

February 17th, 2014
11:21 am

Plus, a little salt and pepper about the head is okay but when dude walking around looking like a bag of cotton balls latched on to his head, that’s not a good look. at that point dude might as well cut it all off.

slim / itl – don’t get me started on the old man smell. I don’t have to explain it. I’m sure y’all know what I’m talking about. lol.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
11:22 am

Disco, I’ve dated co-workers also, :-D

disco

February 17th, 2014
11:22 am

kimmie – you know I latch onto semantics sometimes.

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
11:23 am

walking around looking like a bag of cotton balls latched on to his head,

:lol: :lol:

Into the Light

February 17th, 2014
11:24 am

Lol@disco, but eewww on the old man smell. Just gross.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
11:25 am

Slim I’ll wait, aint got nothing but time on my hands :-D

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
11:28 am

Slim – You got it, girl. But played-out dudes think(and in alot of ways they do) they have an advantage over a played-out woman. They can still pull, beer gutt and all, cause it will always be someone out there that will take then. Their choices are limited, mind you, and that’s what some have a hard time coming to terms with.

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
11:29 am

disco – Speaking of smells and old men, does one breath begin to get more stankier with age???!! I mean, ya ever had someone speak to you trying to holla and that gust of funkiness comes out at you, unfortunately, at the same time you’re breathing in…feels like your insides got sprayed with raid & pepper spray at the same damn time :shock: :???: :cry: I notice that often from old dudes (no offense Single) lol

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
11:31 am

walking around looking like a bag of cotton balls latched on to his head

OMG, i’m crying! :lol: :lol: Someone needs to let Stevie Wonder know that his hairline is wondering where the rest of his hair went. It should not start at the nape of the neck Sorry lol

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
11:31 am

Every time I’ve thought I let one get away and wondered why, after awhile I’m like the Betty Wright song, “Yea now I remember (LOL)

First the shuffle, and now the smell WTH!!

disco

February 17th, 2014
11:32 am

slim – now why did you have to go and throw that “no offense single” on the end? That was funny. yes. I have been hit by the breath. I always think of the comedian who said he took a chick to the movies and she had bad breath. He said he wanted to put some toothpaste on his fist and bust her in the mouth. Hilarious.

disco

February 17th, 2014
11:33 am

Old heads really be killing me trying to tell me how well they take care of themselves. bragging on how often they go to the gym or how frequently they workout or whatever. I’m like that don’t make you fly. All kinds of out of shape, busted looking folks work out on the regular.

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
11:37 am

disco – Single knows I lovedededed him :-D

Single – Hugs?

Into the Light

February 17th, 2014
11:37 am

Mothball breath is the worst. I’m like, did you chew on your afghan before you came out???? :lol:

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
11:38 am

Slim WTH you mean no offense Single!!!

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
11:38 am

Single – You know you always get on me about singling out “old dudes”…so thought I’d throw that disclaimer in there. I’m sure this doesn’t apply to you

disco

February 17th, 2014
11:40 am

blog gents – why do some of y’all toss out hints instead of just saying what you really trying to say? case in point, during a phone call last week (prior to the snow) I had this guy make several references to not wanting to be snowed in alone or keeping me company during the storm or whatever. I breezed by each reference and kept right on talking. Recently he’s been letting more and more innuendo slip and I continue to ignore it. all that trying to gauge my reaction when he could just point blank ask me what’s up.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
11:44 am

Have anyone of you guys smelled someones breath so bad it made you go brush your teeth (LOL)

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
11:46 am

Disco, when I toss out hints, I’ll let you know in case you didn’t catch it the first time.

Slim what exactly is old to you?

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
11:48 am

Single – I think it varies and depends on the person. Usually, when you start getting to that creepy stage sort of how I guage it. lol You aren’t there……yet. lol

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
11:48 am

Disco – That always irritated me. Thinking back, though, it was always dudes that I was not interested in that pulled that, so maybe that was their way of sticking their toe in, because they had a feeling I was not into them. Usually these guys came off like they were kinda cheap too, though I don’t know why, they just did.

I’ve always been attracted to men that go for what they want and don’t dangle their interest in me like a carrot. Just come on out with it and I can say yes or no. Hubs let me know straight up.

disco

February 17th, 2014
11:49 am

single – why hint at all? why not just be direct?

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
11:51 am

Disco, what is old to you, since slim betting around the bush, (trying to keep me waiting) (LOL)

disco

February 17th, 2014
11:52 am

kimmie – I have differing opinions on it. for some I think they gauge for reaction to minimize the risk of rejection. For others, I think they just have no game and are hoping you will take charge. either way, it just doesn’t work for me. as far as I’m concerned, if I let you in my friend zone you oughtta stay there and appreciate your status. don’t be trying to sneak in an upgrade. lol.

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
11:52 am

I don’t throw out hints — I straight up ask you what’s up! I just recently told this gal, “I ain’t got time to be ‘goin with someone’” I’m at a stage where if you ain’t trynna do something, or bring something to the table, then we’en gon’ make it….late 30’s, early 40’s, you oughta know what you want, or don’t want…..and it don’t take forever to find it out…..

disco

February 17th, 2014
11:53 am

single – I’m going to say mid 50s is pretty much the beginning of the end. lol. you may or may not look good for your age, be in good shape or whatever, but that’s the point of no return as far as I’m concerned.

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
11:54 am

disco – That sounds like a dude I used to date….he had a problem with being assertive. Sounds he was scared to totally just come out with it for fear of the wrath of disco, perhaps?

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
11:55 am

Disco, most of the time it is direct, followed by hint hint, cause sometimes you guys still like to play it off.

beating around the bush betting I’ll still be waiting I mean (LOL)

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
11:55 am

funny tho, that disco and Slim would bring up being assertive……

YesSheIsCute

February 17th, 2014
11:57 am

@disco I’m curious to know too. I don’t like hits either. I’m not a mime, I can’t read between lines. You’re going to have to be direct with me anyway because if the innuendo can be misconstrued as a friendly gesture or a joke, I will definitely misconstrue it to a friendly gesture or joke.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
11:59 am

Yes, now I get that all the time, telling me I need quit joking, But I guess I get that because I am a flirt, soooooo

YesSheIsCute

February 17th, 2014
12:02 pm

@SH you know, I’ll be honest I still don’t know how to respond to flirtation. So if they play it off as a joke then I will laugh it off as one. I mean seriously if someone is joking kissing you, for example, what do you say to that “come on with it”? I still don’t know lol

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
12:08 pm

as far as I’m concerned, if I let you in my friend zone you oughtta stay there and appreciate your status. don’t be trying to sneak in an upgrade.

Disco – :lol: Girl, you missed your calling. You need to be writing for a sitcom!

I agree with all you said – gauging risk, no game, want the woman to take the lead – yeah naw, none of that ever worked for me!!

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
12:13 pm

2C – Why do you find it funny that we brought up being assertive?

disco

February 17th, 2014
12:14 pm

kimmie – you would be amazed at how many folks in my real life go on about how funny I am. funny is rarely my intent. I’m just “expressive”. lol. recently I’ve been transcribing some of my travel journals. I’ll admit that I have laughed at myself on more than one occasion. I had some very entertaining thoughts on the “toothless” guy in Bermuda.

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
12:19 pm

Disco – Funny may not be your intent, but you are a natural!!!

disco

February 17th, 2014
12:26 pm

kimmie – so I announced to mr. standby flunky that there was an event that I wanted to attend. He’s getting back to me. I mentioned to mr. hint hint the same event. He also is getting back to me. it will be interesting to see if either of them decides they want to go. i plan on going with or without either of them but y’all know me – when questioned with spending my money or his money……

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
12:28 pm

disco – Dang, so no takers off the bat…guess they need to check their starting rosters lol

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
12:31 pm

Disco – Classic. That’s why most came off cheap to me. When met with a legitimate date offer, they didn’t even have to do the asking, they have to “let you know”. They gotta check their schedule – yeah right!!

disco

February 17th, 2014
12:32 pm

slim – I thought of that but more than likely it’s them deciding if they really want to be bothered. I tend to pick things to do that they probably would never do on their own. I can’t just see a movie – I have to see foreign films in languages that are no longer spoken. lol. old standby knows my style. new guy may have to be broken in. in fact, I left a message for new guy and he immediately responded with “what’s that”. lol.

disco

February 17th, 2014
12:35 pm

kimmie / slim – I’m not even giving these guys a hard time re this point. heck, my female friends aren’t always on the same page either. old standby did call with his old standby over the weekend. dinner. that fool oughtta know by now that I’m done with dinner. smdh.

YesSheIsCute

February 17th, 2014
12:39 pm

disco what foreign movies have you seen thus far that you’d recommend?

disco

February 17th, 2014
12:48 pm

yes – now you want to make me rack my brain. I just saw a film screening featuring a Brazilian movie. some of the other movies in this series have been mexican, portuguese and I think a film from peru. there’s a jewish community center near me and it’s almost time for their annual film festival. they always have interesting films. I catch random foreign films in theatres when I can but rarely recall the titles although I do recall in darkness (holocaust film in polish) and intouchables was really good (french). I also really enjoyed chico and rita (cuban and animated). oh and I hit up the pawn shop. They have a lot of Spanish dvds for a dollar. lol.

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-shirts)

February 17th, 2014
12:56 pm

HI ITL, Hi Swiss…

Wow Swiss, it strikes me you must REALLY be feeling the fatherhood by now…how old is he/she/they now? I think within a month of the birth of my first, I couldn’t even remember my life before…like a movie about someone else. For the record, they never grow up and they never totally leave, so don’t plan on being a parent until they can take care of themselves, it never happens ;-)

ITL, hope you feel better soon (although work has a nasty habit of interfering with blogging in a timely manner!!!).

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-shirts)

February 17th, 2014
12:58 pm

Oh and Disco, my favorite foreign film spawned another American version, and at least thereto shows. It was the French film, La Femme Nikita.

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-shirts)

February 17th, 2014
12:59 pm

three tv shows. what I typed makes no sense.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
1:10 pm

Yes @ your 12:04, kissing, what kind of flirting you be doing (LOL)

That’s why most came off cheap to me. When met with a legitimate date offer, they didn’t even have to do the asking, they have to “let you know”. hmmm unless state that I’m paying, if you asking then you paying!!

daddy swiss

February 17th, 2014
1:13 pm

Hey Randy. Yup, life before fatherhood now just seems like some old movie I saw once. lol But I wouldn’t trade places with the old me for a second (well, most times, anyway). lol Little Miss Swiss Mochette is 13 months and she has a little brother on the way in April. :)

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-shirts)

February 17th, 2014
1:13 pm

On the topic of old dudes…

Reading some of these blogs reminds me of so many guys who used to write into the blog and talk about how they would take these hot chics out, wine and dine them, and then go home with an unused Woody, and an empty wallet. You can tell by what they write that they spend their entire evenings trying to SELL themselves. I have never understood that. I’ve never (or at least in decades) done that. Whether old or young, whether wealthy or average income, one needs to always just seem interested in the other, be comfortable, and let nature take its course. Women can tell you are trying to play them, and the result is the dude gets played (and deserves it). Let the woman decide if she wants to move forward, and accept the decision. It is an investment…some work out, some don’t. And age is only a factor in deciding who to be comfortable with. As an older guy once said…

“I’m not as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was” ;-)

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-shirts)

February 17th, 2014
1:15 pm

Congrats Swiss…big smile!!!

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
1:16 pm

Disco, on the age of old, does the age go up as you get older?

Mrs. SexyCool

February 17th, 2014
1:25 pm

Hey y’all. Hey RandyT.

Um…yeah…I must be getting old. Can’t remember any friends that I was digging like that.

Do I have a *friend* that is a former fling? Not really. I am friendly with a former fling or three but not in an “active” friendship – meaning, if I see them out, I will speak. But we won’t be messaging on IM or texting or conversing on the phone. (Not that I talk to anybody on the phone anymore.)

And yes, most days, the hubby is the best friends. (Well, maybe not today – him not too happy with me because I don’t like this beard he is growing.)

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
1:32 pm

Single – Are you feeling old?

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
1:35 pm

Mrs SC – Oooh, I like beards, especially if they are lined up all nice, neat and brushed.

Mrs. SexyCool

February 17th, 2014
1:41 pm

Right now, it’s just growing all untamed and ish. No razor has seen his face nor his hair since 11.26.13.

I’m trying to be understanding about his very personal reason for growing it. But just because I’m understanding doesn’t mean I’ve got to like it or that I’m going to lie about liking it.

And with that, I think we are moving into another phase of our relationship, I used to be physically ill when we were “off.” Today, I’m just like, “Um…yeah…I’ma give him his space. And when he’s ready, we’ll talk it out.”

Dynamic

February 17th, 2014
1:43 pm

The problem with old men is that they try to hit on ladies that are their daughters age…ugh!! I’m sure it’s a nice cotten head stinky breath older woman that will love an old man!!!

Mrs. SexyCool

February 17th, 2014
1:45 pm

When I was a kid, my grandma used to call my grandaddy an “old gray @ss man.” I literally thought all older men had gray behinds.

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
1:45 pm

I used to be physically ill when we were “off.”

Mrs SC – that’s how I get when things are off…I just hate that wait game until the issue is addressed, the awkwardness, not speaking, trying not to touch shoulders when you pass each other in the hall.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
1:46 pm

Slim I’ve never felt old :-)

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
1:47 pm

Glad I don’t have a daughter (LOL)

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
1:49 pm

The problem with old men is that they try to hit on ladies that are their daughters age

Dynamic – The strawberry letter on Steve Harvey’s morning show was about a young girl dating a dude in his late 50’s. Said he lied to her about so many different things and he had daughters only 3 years younger than herself. :shock:

Mrs. SexyCool

February 17th, 2014
1:49 pm

Slim – that was pretty much it. I understand that he is all in his feelings about the issue and I don’t want him to be feeling that way. But we can’t fix it until he’s ready to talk about it. He tends to go silent when he’s feeling some kind of way.

Ordinarily, I would literally feel a knot in my stomach and take it personal. (More often, when I’ve actually done something that warrants his reaction.) Today, I’m like, “Whatever, dude.”

Exiled!

February 17th, 2014
1:56 pm

Disco..everytime i see your name, i think of that swashbuckling lady in the progressive commercial….”is this the think u gave my husband?” lady..

:lol: ….

u know it?!….looks like a domineering lady.

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
1:58 pm

hmmm unless state that I’m paying, if you asking then you paying!!

Single – You are right about that. Even then, they were too silly to still be upfront about it. It may be a situation like “hey I won 2 tickets to the Hawks game in the raffle at work. Wanna go?” Now the stand-up dudes I knew would be all on it. And whether I got the tickets free or bought them, they would kinda take it from there and offer to pick me up, take me to dinner or something. The tired, scared, cheap dudes would hem & haw. Later for that!

Hey Swiss & SCool!!!

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
1:59 pm

SCool, you rested up from the snow jam?

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
2:04 pm

Kimmie, I would hope you ate before we left, cause once again if you asking you paying for the night, I might pick up the tip. (LOL) does that make me one of those cheap dudes!

SlimNu

February 17th, 2014
2:08 pm

Mrs SC – I’m a communicator and I like to discuss things, hash it out and get it over with so we can go back to being normal. I can’t stand that – wtfe stage. Drives me nuts not to be talking…

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
2:13 pm

I might pick up the tip. (LOL) does that make me one of those cheap dudes!

Single – YEP!!

No, seriously if you were upfront with it like “Cool, you treating?”, I can actually deal with that better. At least OWN your cheapness!LOL!! For example, I went out a few times with a “hinter”. He used to pull stuff like when we went in a store, he would disappear when we got to the cash register or if we were in a mall, would leave out of the store while I paid for whatever it is I was buying. Now I’m the type of person that really won’t even go in a store unless I’m looking to buy, no windowshopping and wishing for me. When I go in I mean business, and I didn’t expect whatever dude I was with to buy me what I needed. I had to check this particular dude though. I called him out on it. How you gon be all over the store right up under me every step, but get ghost once we get to check out? I told him in no uncertain terms I could take care of myself and didn’t need him to buy anything for me. He looked sheepish after I checked him!

disco

February 17th, 2014
2:16 pm

single – to me old will always be my parents’ age.

ex – I be feeling old girl in that commercial. she was ready to give flo the business. got her husband out there talking about “gimme some”. lol.

single – I never put things out there as if it’s a date. I simply say “I’m going to such and such event on such and such date. wanna go”. not “do you want to go with me?” trust me, there’s a difference. besides, I’m going whether the other party goes or not. as for dude picking up the tab, those are the only kind of fellows I deal with. lol.

Mrs. SexyCool

February 17th, 2014
2:17 pm

kimmie – I took two extra days off. Today is my first day back at work. And I still could have not seen this piece for another week.

disco

February 17th, 2014
2:18 pm

kimmie – that’s funny. he got ghost at the cash register. too much. that’s like the episode of eve where JT and Donovan realized their boy never picked up the tab. lol.

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
2:21 pm

as for dude picking up the tab, those are the only kind of fellows I deal with.

Disco – Now you talking. Other than the store dude, I really didn’t have an issue, cause those cheap tired ‘throwing hints” dudes never really got any traction with me anyway. Store dude started out the gate strong, but turned into a buster……

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
2:25 pm

so …….dude starts out doing everything right, in the courting sense….and you still ain’t shakin nothin???? why won’t y’all ladies be woman enough to tell dude he ain’t hittin on sh!t, but you’ll gladly keep spendinghis money……disco?

Into the Light

February 17th, 2014
2:25 pm

I’m not into the passive aggressive throwing hints type of dude. Either man up and come on with it or sit in the corner.

Sn: at the doc in a box. Fingers crossed.

disco

February 17th, 2014
2:28 pm

2C – you really think that I haven’t had that conversation? I don’t have a problem telling dude I’ll put up with him when I feel like putting up with him, spend time with him when I feel like spending time with him, spend his money when his dumb azz lets me spend his money AND I still ain’t giving him none. The problem with that scenario isn’t me. the problem is the average dude doesn’t want to believe the words that come out of your mouth AND the average dude thinks the rules of all other dudes don’t apply to him. they get hemmed up every time.

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
2:31 pm

2C – LOL!!

It didn’t quite work that way with me. If dude was doing everything right and I was FEELING him it’s all good. When I was not feeling a dude, his mere presence got on my nerves. There was not enough money he could spend to turn it around if I’m just not into him. Never been that hungry or need to go out that bad. But that’s me……….

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
2:32 pm

Disco, in that case if you put it out there like that then we going dutch

Exiled!

February 17th, 2014
2:34 pm

she was ready to give flo the business. got her husband out there talking about “gimme some”.

@Disco..u right bout that…that “gimmee some” is so lame! :lol:

disco

February 17th, 2014
2:35 pm

single – maybe if I ever go anywhere with YOU, we’ll go dutch. Like I said, I generally don’t deal with guys who don’t step up to pay. actually me paying is when I’m sending a message that I don’t need your sorry behind for jack. if you like me even a little, you do not want me to pay. it does not bode well. lol.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
2:35 pm

Kimmie, I’m not cheap, but have so many other things I could be doing with my money instead of spending it on POP. I’m also not the guy that will walk away from the register, I figure since you took it up there, you must be able to pay for it.

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
2:36 pm

Single – Remember my equation:

Dutch = No Date

:lol:

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
2:36 pm

you better believe if a chic tells me she ain’t feeling me, but still wants to spend my money, we gon’ have a problem….I’m not even going to waste my time trying to convince her otherwise.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
2:36 pm

Disco, that’s when I’m like, I guess it wasn’t meant to be (LOL)

disco

February 17th, 2014
2:37 pm

2C – of course not. this good good, girl game that we running would never ever work on any of the blog gents…..

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
2:38 pm

Kimmie, who said it was a date, she just asked if that wanted to go, she was going with or without them.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
2:39 pm

LMAO @ Disco

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
2:41 pm

disco, I’m not saying it can’t or won’t work, because for your sake, it’s obviously working….I’m just saying NOT ME….truth be told, I can almost name some blog dudes who’d fall for these types of shenanigans; hell, we’ve had ‘em before!

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
2:43 pm

I’m also not the guy that will walk away from the register, I figure since you took it up there, you must be able to pay for it.

Single – Okay??? I never played games like that. Whether it’s at the register or when the check comes to the table, it’s already crystal clear who is paying the bill. No hoping, waiting, figuring it out, twiddling thumbs.

Exiled!

February 17th, 2014
2:44 pm

If I pay, I am smashig! :
….and my batting average on that is stellar! :lol:

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
2:45 pm

Single – I know, I’m just clowning. Well, not really. I go dutch with friends & coworkers. Don’t be talkin bout “getting some” later after we went dutch.LOL!!

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
2:47 pm

you better believe if a chic tells me she ain’t feeling me, but still wants to spend my money, we gon’ have a problem….

2C – I can respect that.

disco

February 17th, 2014
2:47 pm

single – since I’ve been good and grown, the cash register type scenario has never been an issue. in my mind, that’s a young cat’s game. my current “standby” dude, anything that costs anything, if we are together he’ll cover it. be it dinner, tickets, I can stop in the grocery store for a loaf of bread – he got it. there’s no question about it. if we are out shopping he typically just gives me cash or a credit card before we even get that deep into it. that’s just how I do. lol.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
2:48 pm

Kimmie what kind of game is that. Nobody’s playing any type of game.

Disco now if were friends and sometimes I pay and sometimes you pay, wouldn’t anything change, because in the past I would only be paying when I felt like paying.

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
2:49 pm

kimmie….and any other gal that wants to chime in…..has there ever been a “oh, he gon get some” moment? like a dude you on the fence with, and he comes thru for you when you least expect it….

Exiled!

February 17th, 2014
2:52 pm

my current “standby” dude, anything that costs anything, if we are together he’ll cover it. be it dinner, tickets,

@Disco…is he smashing? #1
thats the Big question?

#2 is he a sucker..that u like or he is stand up dude with no jelly back.

#3 Is your standby dude,the type of dude who would punch you? :lol:

..iam sure the answer is No,No,No

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
2:53 pm

had this happen a few weeks ago…..at work, and a gal called me and said her car broke down in the middle of the road….would I come assist her….of course I did….

few days later she was like, “that night you coulda got the coochie and anything else you wanted.”

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
2:57 pm

2C now why they always tell you that after the fact. (then talking about us throwing hints) We’re just supposed to know.

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
2:57 pm

Single – I mean taking you into a store and “expecting” you to pay for something, almost trying to trick you into buying me something. That type of game.

disco

February 17th, 2014
2:57 pm

ex – no smashing. he’s functioning on hope.

ex – we cool. on GP I wouldn’t call him a sucker but considering he puts up with my mess, he’s a sucker on some level. He’s alright though.

ex – punch me? that’s comical just to think about.

2C – that woudn’t have cut it. I could have called AAA and went on about my business. I don’t think any guy has ever grown on me that way. In general, I know from the first time I meet him if I would break him off. I just go through life sizing dudes up like that. lol.

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
2:59 pm

Single, I knew I could have ran with that; but the moral me couldn’t do it…..

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
3:02 pm

Single, I even let a female friend stay with me for damn near 6 months (free); we had smashed before, but while she was staying with me, I didn’t even broach the subject (we resumed after she got on her feet, and moved out)…..I can’t take advantage of folks when I’m genuinely helping them.

Exiled!

February 17th, 2014
3:02 pm

Disco..u got this guy on lock!

u got good game.

I bet when u 2 are driving,sometimes u just show him ur upper inner thigh,then quickly close it, on the sly……just to keep his hope high and so he can dish the cash$$$..on hope. LMAO

disco

February 17th, 2014
3:02 pm

2C / single – this is the real game she was running. Granted she could have been serious BUT it’s more likely that she liked how old boy came through for her. she might have called a few other no shows before 2C showed up. she figures 2C is a good one to keep in her rotation. thing is she recognizes that he’s probably not the type to stay in a rotation without some motivation. She gave him that line to string him along in case she needs something else. She’s banking on him coming through for her just based on a past empty promise. ijs.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
3:02 pm

2C morals, what’s this word you speak of (LOL)

Kimmie, oh I get it now.

disco

February 17th, 2014
3:05 pm

ex – I’m a female mack from way, way back. lol. I’ve been studying game for as long as I recognized that there was game and trust me, there’s almost always game. let someone open their mouth and say “I don’t play games” and I’ll tell you that in itself is game.

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
3:06 pm

2C – I can’t come up with a real life example of it personally happening to me. But I can see that, a dude does something that causes you to look at him a little differently….In fact, I’ll bet it happens a lot.

Disco – To your 2:47, that’s where store dude messed up with me. It’s the principle. I’m not taking him to the Coach store expecting him to buy me a handbag. But heck, I run in the store to grab a loaf of bread and you so scared I might expect you to come out your pocket with the $2, you gotta go ghost. Weak!! And yeah, we were younger but not that much younger, talking mid/late 30’s.

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
3:07 pm

disco, baby-girl, it’s apparent that you don’t me…..not saying that I can’t be “got”…..but gal, you’re talking to a master at this; and I’m not tooting my own horn either! she called me because she knows I tryto help folks whenever I can…and RNS, I came out the winner in that scenario…simply because I DIDN’T try anything……now, I got coochie coupons with no expiration date!

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
3:09 pm

Disco see with me, you don’t have to play those games, once you tell me I’m in the friend zone, the I’m there, now whether or not I stay there depends on how you treat me as a friend. I’ll be there for you when you need me, but if that’s the only time you can call me, you might come out better calling AAA

Exiled!

February 17th, 2014
3:09 pm

Disco..so how often do u have ur cobwebs cleaned?

would u let dude hit or u prefer out of towners to hit..like me or 2C?
What are theodds for ur dude?

disco

February 17th, 2014
3:11 pm

2C – and that’s my point. she’s thinking fair exchange booty not I just love me some him booty. ijs.

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
3:40 pm

Okay where is everyone?

Into the Light

February 17th, 2014
3:42 pm

I’m here….

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
3:43 pm

waiting on Disco to tell us about the cobwebs (LOL)

Into the Light

February 17th, 2014
3:44 pm

Say what, Stamps? I’mma have to go back and read. I see y’all got serious while I was at the doc in a box.

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
3:48 pm

Light – So are you feeling better?

Into the Light

February 17th, 2014
3:50 pm

Not yet, kimmie, but I’m home with my meds and in my jammies having some OJ. Should be right as rain soon. :)

disco

February 17th, 2014
3:52 pm

single – is that what the hold up was???

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
3:53 pm

Light – Cool!

Into the Light

February 17th, 2014
3:54 pm

dang, disco. you singlehandedly held up the blog. you go, girl! :lol: :lol:

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
3:54 pm

Disco, you know we waiting to read that comeback, I mean answer (LOL)

Into the Light

February 17th, 2014
3:57 pm

In general, I know from the first time I meet him if I would break him off. I just go through life sizing dudes up like that. lol.

Yep. I’d say this is true for me 99.5% of the time. Err now and then a guy will surprise me, but most of the time my first reaction is spot on. Daddy always said go with your gut, and I do.

disco

February 17th, 2014
3:59 pm

single – I don’t even have a snappy comeback. all I can say is I just don’t like anyone like that. ain’t nobody hitting on nothing. the ones that are good on paper lack sex appeal. The ones with sex appeal don’t hold up on paper.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
4:01 pm

Disco aww damn, I wanted the snippy, I mean snappy comeback (LOL)

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
4:03 pm

the ones that are good on paper lack sex appeal. The ones with sex appeal don’t hold up on paper.

and what about you?

Into the Light

February 17th, 2014
4:07 pm

I’m going to bed. Y’all have a good rest of the day; hope to read you tomorrow.

Dynamic

February 17th, 2014
4:07 pm

Ok Ima bite on this one…..@ 2C you pick up a co-worker b/c her car is broken and now you have a free couchie coupon?? Where they do that at??!! ijs

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
4:07 pm

Hope you feel better ITL

disco

February 17th, 2014
4:09 pm

2C – my first response was to say I’m all that but I guess to be fair I’ll say all that is relative. I will say I’m holding my own on all fronts. House, car, finances – all straight. No kids at home. no grown kids with their hands out constantly. Not fat, not skinny. No belly fat. No stretch marks. I can put my reeboks on and run some miles without passing out. I’m good. now, if a brother is checking for light skin, I guess I’m out. if a brother is checking for weave, I guess I’m out. if a brother is checking for tall, I guess I’m out. but all in all, I’m good.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
4:09 pm

Dynamic what’s a bigger turn on, a guy who will be there when you need him with no strings attached, or a guy who will remind you of what he did for you and want to attach some strings??

Mrs. SexyCool

February 17th, 2014
4:12 pm

I have an employee that has diabetes. One day a few weeks back, he was sitting in the breakroom and didn’t seem to be doing so well.

I asked him if he were okay. He said that he was feeling a little lightheaded because he didn’t have anything to eat and didn’t have any money. (I knew that he was having financial issues because he had been asking for extra overtime saying that his car note was behind.)

Because I didn’t want the d@mn dude to go into diabetic shock on my watch, I took him to the food court and bought him something to eat.

Today, this grown @ss, old @ss dude 50+ years old) trust to call me from the duty phone asking me if I would “treat” him for lunch. I stayed silent so long, he finally figured out the answer.

Mrs. SexyCool

February 17th, 2014
4:12 pm

I just came out of the breakroom, he was pulling a pack of Top Ramen out of the microwave.

disco

February 17th, 2014
4:14 pm

SC – stop it!!!!!

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
4:18 pm

Mrs SC have a heart :-D

Mrs. SexyCool

February 17th, 2014
4:20 pm

I don’t mind doing for folks, but d@mn…

Now I find out that the supervisor and two of the leads have also bought food for him in the past few months.

Double You Tee Eff?!?!?

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
4:23 pm

Mrs SC I had to google Top Ramen, didn’t know what that was. I think I’d have been asking for some food too. (LOL)

Dynamic

February 17th, 2014
4:29 pm

Single I can’t answer your question, I pay my own bills.

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
4:30 pm

Dynamic….where did I say she was a co-worker?

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
4:30 pm

Dynamic, what does paying your own bills have to do with my statement?

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
4:34 pm

disco, all that sounds good on the surface, I just can’t fathom all these dudes gettin’ taken for a ride…..and still fall for it….

Mrs. SexyCool

February 17th, 2014
4:36 pm

I’m just saying a man that has reached 50 years of age and still struggling to meet his basic needs (food and transportation).

There is a limit to the amount of sympathy I have in this situation.

disco

February 17th, 2014
4:38 pm

2C – it’s not really ALL THEM dudes. Just a few regulars. lol. The average dude realizes he ain’t getting nowhere and gets ghost real quick. Some hang around longer for whatever reason. some don’t even live locally but they stay in the rotation. it is what it is. besides, I’ve said it before, any single woman worth her salt has a couple of “flunkies” (for lack of a better term) in rotation at all times.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
4:39 pm

Mrs SC is he married, or still chasing them young girls around, (they will break you) (LOL)

Mrs. SexyCool

February 17th, 2014
4:39 pm

It seems as if the supervisor has also given him money for gas.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
4:40 pm

Flunkies, hmmmm let me think (LOL)

Exiled!

February 17th, 2014
4:41 pm

Disco..you only talk bout the flunkies…Never bout the dudes who hit!

….

Mrs. SexyCool

February 17th, 2014
4:41 pm

Not married…

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
4:41 pm

all I can do is congratulate you, disco……”it ain’t bragging if you can do it!”

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
4:42 pm

Disco..you only talk bout the flunkies…Never bout the dudes who hit!

well……

disco

February 17th, 2014
4:43 pm

ex – while I’m fairly open and prone to sharing I try to ignore the fact that you keep trying to get up under my clothes. stay in your lane. ijs.

2C – ditto what I said to ex.

Exiled!

February 17th, 2014
4:43 pm

Disco..i can tell ur personality…in bed.

U Loud! :lol:

because u are allergic to dudes with room mates! :lol:

U dont want u hollering to be taped! :lol: u be on utube. :lol:

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
4:44 pm

There it is (LOL)

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
4:45 pm

disco, I’m not trying to get under your clothes…but like Ex said, it’s always about the flunkies….never about the dude who actually did break you off!

disco

February 17th, 2014
4:46 pm

2C – I’m not bragging. I bet just about every other single chick on the blog got a few on call flunkies. It’s just a woman thing. lol.

ex – hollering is for amateurs. men who want to hear hollering are amateurs. lol.

Dynamic

February 17th, 2014
4:46 pm

@ Single what’s a bigger turn on, a guy who will be there when you need him with no strings attached, or a guy who will remind you of what he did for you and want to attach some strings??

When you say be there for you what did you men? I took it to mean financial, which is why I couldn’t answer your question.

disco

February 17th, 2014
4:47 pm

2C – guess it just be like that sometimes. I’m sorry to let the blog down. I will try to do better. lol.

Exiled!

February 17th, 2014
4:48 pm

U absolutely..utterly …passionately hate dudes who got roommates…

explain that..why..in these hard economic times?! :lol:

@Disco

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
4:50 pm

I mean when you need him for anything, your car breaks down and you need a ride, will just be there when you need them.

disco

February 17th, 2014
4:50 pm

ex – I respect the struggle. really I do but I’m not checking for the dude who is struggling when I’m not struggling. He’s not holding me back and I’m not pulling him up. he needs to get up on his own and then holler at me. judge if you must but I stand firm on that.

Dynamic

February 17th, 2014
4:52 pm

Single, if I’m dating a guy then we should be there for each other, and if we are dating it wouldn’t be any strings attached scenario b/c we are in a relationship.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
4:56 pm

Okay dynamic, you’re just not understanding.

Dynamic

February 17th, 2014
4:58 pm

Tell me 2 morrow

Mrs. SexyCool

February 17th, 2014
4:59 pm

S&H – it sounds like to me that Dynamic only has expectations of guys that she is dating.

Exiled!

February 17th, 2014
5:00 pm

Disco..so locals in your city got no chance…right?

all they can do is just sniff!
u trust out of towners when u go out….
see..here is how this works for u economically…
u make the locales pine for ur azz..they dish some dole..hoping to hit….pay some of ur groceries and lighting etc…u dont give them none…they continue to crave….

u let steam when u take a vacation….

its a good strategy if u ask me.
:lol:

here is my email add takpat78@gmail.com

i may luck out.

i got a portfolio by the way; :lol:

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
5:03 pm

Mrs SC did you understand what I was trying to say

disco

February 17th, 2014
5:04 pm

ex – I almost typed “close but no cigar” except that you aren’t even close. lol. I don’t profess to know you but I don’t think you’d be my type. I think you’d get on my nerves more than anything. you surely can’t get it on with someone who gets on your dang nerves.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
5:07 pm

Disco, why don’t you tell us what your really think (LOL)

disco

February 17th, 2014
5:08 pm

single – it wasn’t mean spirited. just what I really think. lol.

Mrs. SexyCool

February 17th, 2014
5:09 pm

Yep. You were asking what appealed more – a guy who would always be there to help you out in a bind (no matter what kind of bind) that never had any expectations attached to that assistance. He’s just doing it because he’s got a good heart.

Or – a guy who would gladly help you out, but with an expectation as well as reminders attached to it.

For the record – ain’t nobody – male or female – checking for that second dude – someone who is doing something for you so that they can hold it over your head, expecting something in return, and throwing it up in your face.

Exiled!

February 17th, 2014
5:09 pm

you’d get on my nerves more than anything

@Disco..proly true

After spending my loot, iam usually less diplomatic..so i tend to say the truf. whats truly on my mind…..

like, after smashing i may say..ur ish aint all that! :lol:

disco

February 17th, 2014
5:11 pm

ex – you might say that and all I would do is smile and say “no refunds” or “bring your A money and I’ll bring my A game” or “it ain’t my fault you got used to a lesser grade and don’t know the good stuff when you get it”.

single – how are my comebacks? lol.

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
5:12 pm

thinking out loud:

December 31….hurry the up!

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
5:12 pm

You got it Mrs SC

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
5:13 pm

They’re good, Disco, but stop holding back (LOL)

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
5:18 pm

Mrs SC while you might not be checking for that person, sometimes some may feel that’s the only person they can call. sad but true