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Blurred line: Lover and friend

Have you ever had a “friend” who you felt a strong attraction to but didn’t want to cross that line? Do you think it is ever worth it to risk the friendship for a great relationship?

I know we have debated whether or not men and women can just be friends, but can they be lovers, break up, and go back to friends? Things can get dicey if the lines are blurred and communication goes bad. Still, I’m a romantic and I would always take a shot at true love.

Do you have a friend who is a former fling?

If you developed a strong attraction to one of your friends, would you tell them?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

234 comments Add your comment

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
2:47 pm

you better believe if a chic tells me she ain’t feeling me, but still wants to spend my money, we gon’ have a problem….

2C – I can respect that.

disco

February 17th, 2014
2:47 pm

single – since I’ve been good and grown, the cash register type scenario has never been an issue. in my mind, that’s a young cat’s game. my current “standby” dude, anything that costs anything, if we are together he’ll cover it. be it dinner, tickets, I can stop in the grocery store for a loaf of bread – he got it. there’s no question about it. if we are out shopping he typically just gives me cash or a credit card before we even get that deep into it. that’s just how I do. lol.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
2:48 pm

Kimmie what kind of game is that. Nobody’s playing any type of game.

Disco now if were friends and sometimes I pay and sometimes you pay, wouldn’t anything change, because in the past I would only be paying when I felt like paying.

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
2:49 pm

kimmie….and any other gal that wants to chime in…..has there ever been a “oh, he gon get some” moment? like a dude you on the fence with, and he comes thru for you when you least expect it….

Exiled!

February 17th, 2014
2:52 pm

my current “standby” dude, anything that costs anything, if we are together he’ll cover it. be it dinner, tickets,

@Disco…is he smashing? #1
thats the Big question?

#2 is he a sucker..that u like or he is stand up dude with no jelly back.

#3 Is your standby dude,the type of dude who would punch you? :lol:

..iam sure the answer is No,No,No

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
2:53 pm

had this happen a few weeks ago…..at work, and a gal called me and said her car broke down in the middle of the road….would I come assist her….of course I did….

few days later she was like, “that night you coulda got the coochie and anything else you wanted.”

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
2:57 pm

2C now why they always tell you that after the fact. (then talking about us throwing hints) We’re just supposed to know.

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
2:57 pm

Single – I mean taking you into a store and “expecting” you to pay for something, almost trying to trick you into buying me something. That type of game.

disco

February 17th, 2014
2:57 pm

ex – no smashing. he’s functioning on hope.

ex – we cool. on GP I wouldn’t call him a sucker but considering he puts up with my mess, he’s a sucker on some level. He’s alright though.

ex – punch me? that’s comical just to think about.

2C – that woudn’t have cut it. I could have called AAA and went on about my business. I don’t think any guy has ever grown on me that way. In general, I know from the first time I meet him if I would break him off. I just go through life sizing dudes up like that. lol.

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
2:59 pm

Single, I knew I could have ran with that; but the moral me couldn’t do it…..

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
3:02 pm

Single, I even let a female friend stay with me for damn near 6 months (free); we had smashed before, but while she was staying with me, I didn’t even broach the subject (we resumed after she got on her feet, and moved out)…..I can’t take advantage of folks when I’m genuinely helping them.

Exiled!

February 17th, 2014
3:02 pm

Disco..u got this guy on lock!

u got good game.

I bet when u 2 are driving,sometimes u just show him ur upper inner thigh,then quickly close it, on the sly……just to keep his hope high and so he can dish the cash$$$..on hope. LMAO

disco

February 17th, 2014
3:02 pm

2C / single – this is the real game she was running. Granted she could have been serious BUT it’s more likely that she liked how old boy came through for her. she might have called a few other no shows before 2C showed up. she figures 2C is a good one to keep in her rotation. thing is she recognizes that he’s probably not the type to stay in a rotation without some motivation. She gave him that line to string him along in case she needs something else. She’s banking on him coming through for her just based on a past empty promise. ijs.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
3:02 pm

2C morals, what’s this word you speak of (LOL)

Kimmie, oh I get it now.

disco

February 17th, 2014
3:05 pm

ex – I’m a female mack from way, way back. lol. I’ve been studying game for as long as I recognized that there was game and trust me, there’s almost always game. let someone open their mouth and say “I don’t play games” and I’ll tell you that in itself is game.

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
3:06 pm

2C – I can’t come up with a real life example of it personally happening to me. But I can see that, a dude does something that causes you to look at him a little differently….In fact, I’ll bet it happens a lot.

Disco – To your 2:47, that’s where store dude messed up with me. It’s the principle. I’m not taking him to the Coach store expecting him to buy me a handbag. But heck, I run in the store to grab a loaf of bread and you so scared I might expect you to come out your pocket with the $2, you gotta go ghost. Weak!! And yeah, we were younger but not that much younger, talking mid/late 30’s.

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
3:07 pm

disco, baby-girl, it’s apparent that you don’t me…..not saying that I can’t be “got”…..but gal, you’re talking to a master at this; and I’m not tooting my own horn either! she called me because she knows I tryto help folks whenever I can…and RNS, I came out the winner in that scenario…simply because I DIDN’T try anything……now, I got coochie coupons with no expiration date!

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
3:09 pm

Disco see with me, you don’t have to play those games, once you tell me I’m in the friend zone, the I’m there, now whether or not I stay there depends on how you treat me as a friend. I’ll be there for you when you need me, but if that’s the only time you can call me, you might come out better calling AAA

Exiled!

February 17th, 2014
3:09 pm

Disco..so how often do u have ur cobwebs cleaned?

would u let dude hit or u prefer out of towners to hit..like me or 2C?
What are theodds for ur dude?

disco

February 17th, 2014
3:11 pm

2C – and that’s my point. she’s thinking fair exchange booty not I just love me some him booty. ijs.

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
3:40 pm

Okay where is everyone?

Into the Light

February 17th, 2014
3:42 pm

I’m here….

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
3:43 pm

waiting on Disco to tell us about the cobwebs (LOL)

Into the Light

February 17th, 2014
3:44 pm

Say what, Stamps? I’mma have to go back and read. I see y’all got serious while I was at the doc in a box.

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
3:48 pm

Light – So are you feeling better?

Into the Light

February 17th, 2014
3:50 pm

Not yet, kimmie, but I’m home with my meds and in my jammies having some OJ. Should be right as rain soon. :)

disco

February 17th, 2014
3:52 pm

single – is that what the hold up was???

kimmie

February 17th, 2014
3:53 pm

Light – Cool!

Into the Light

February 17th, 2014
3:54 pm

dang, disco. you singlehandedly held up the blog. you go, girl! :lol: :lol:

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
3:54 pm

Disco, you know we waiting to read that comeback, I mean answer (LOL)

Into the Light

February 17th, 2014
3:57 pm

In general, I know from the first time I meet him if I would break him off. I just go through life sizing dudes up like that. lol.

Yep. I’d say this is true for me 99.5% of the time. Err now and then a guy will surprise me, but most of the time my first reaction is spot on. Daddy always said go with your gut, and I do.

disco

February 17th, 2014
3:59 pm

single – I don’t even have a snappy comeback. all I can say is I just don’t like anyone like that. ain’t nobody hitting on nothing. the ones that are good on paper lack sex appeal. The ones with sex appeal don’t hold up on paper.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
4:01 pm

Disco aww damn, I wanted the snippy, I mean snappy comeback (LOL)

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
4:03 pm

the ones that are good on paper lack sex appeal. The ones with sex appeal don’t hold up on paper.

and what about you?

Into the Light

February 17th, 2014
4:07 pm

I’m going to bed. Y’all have a good rest of the day; hope to read you tomorrow.

Dynamic

February 17th, 2014
4:07 pm

Ok Ima bite on this one…..@ 2C you pick up a co-worker b/c her car is broken and now you have a free couchie coupon?? Where they do that at??!! ijs

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
4:07 pm

Hope you feel better ITL

disco

February 17th, 2014
4:09 pm

2C – my first response was to say I’m all that but I guess to be fair I’ll say all that is relative. I will say I’m holding my own on all fronts. House, car, finances – all straight. No kids at home. no grown kids with their hands out constantly. Not fat, not skinny. No belly fat. No stretch marks. I can put my reeboks on and run some miles without passing out. I’m good. now, if a brother is checking for light skin, I guess I’m out. if a brother is checking for weave, I guess I’m out. if a brother is checking for tall, I guess I’m out. but all in all, I’m good.

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
4:09 pm

Dynamic what’s a bigger turn on, a guy who will be there when you need him with no strings attached, or a guy who will remind you of what he did for you and want to attach some strings??

Mrs. SexyCool

February 17th, 2014
4:12 pm

I have an employee that has diabetes. One day a few weeks back, he was sitting in the breakroom and didn’t seem to be doing so well.

I asked him if he were okay. He said that he was feeling a little lightheaded because he didn’t have anything to eat and didn’t have any money. (I knew that he was having financial issues because he had been asking for extra overtime saying that his car note was behind.)

Because I didn’t want the d@mn dude to go into diabetic shock on my watch, I took him to the food court and bought him something to eat.

Today, this grown @ss, old @ss dude 50+ years old) trust to call me from the duty phone asking me if I would “treat” him for lunch. I stayed silent so long, he finally figured out the answer.

Mrs. SexyCool

February 17th, 2014
4:12 pm

I just came out of the breakroom, he was pulling a pack of Top Ramen out of the microwave.

disco

February 17th, 2014
4:14 pm

SC – stop it!!!!!

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
4:18 pm

Mrs SC have a heart :-D

Mrs. SexyCool

February 17th, 2014
4:20 pm

I don’t mind doing for folks, but d@mn…

Now I find out that the supervisor and two of the leads have also bought food for him in the past few months.

Double You Tee Eff?!?!?

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
4:23 pm

Mrs SC I had to google Top Ramen, didn’t know what that was. I think I’d have been asking for some food too. (LOL)

Dynamic

February 17th, 2014
4:29 pm

Single I can’t answer your question, I pay my own bills.

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
4:30 pm

Dynamic….where did I say she was a co-worker?

Single and Happy

February 17th, 2014
4:30 pm

Dynamic, what does paying your own bills have to do with my statement?

2CPTG©

February 17th, 2014
4:34 pm

disco, all that sounds good on the surface, I just can’t fathom all these dudes gettin’ taken for a ride…..and still fall for it….

Mrs. SexyCool

February 17th, 2014
4:36 pm

I’m just saying a man that has reached 50 years of age and still struggling to meet his basic needs (food and transportation).

There is a limit to the amount of sympathy I have in this situation.