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Everything is great but the sex

It is the day of romance but not everybody is feeling in the mood. Have you ever been in a relationship that had everything but good sexual chemistry? Apparently this happens quite often but I don’t think it means the end of a relationship. A lot of couples find a way to deal with it.

Maybe all couples go through a period of mismatched libidos. The key is finding ways to cope with it so it doesn’t mean the beginning of the end. Usually the real problems start when you ignore it and hope it just goes away.

What would you do if you had the great relationship but it was missing one important ingredient?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

168 comments Add your comment

Leggs

February 14th, 2014
6:16 am

Sex is an integral part of a relationship, you can’t sit back and ignore it hoping it will pass and things get back on track. If there’s a medical issue on either person’s part, it must be addressed. If one’s sexual connection veers off track and no one speaks on it, someone is tapping someone else! Like they say, “who’s making love to your old lady while you’re out making love?”

If I’m going to be abstinent, please believe it will be because I’m single and not in a relationship.

On my way to Pompano Beach. Have a great day and fabulous weekend now that we’re no longer snowed in.

Good morning!

Leggs

February 14th, 2014
6:16 am

Of course I’m first this time of morning…WOO HOO!

Leggs

February 14th, 2014
6:18 am

Almost forgot – HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY TO EVERYONE!

Mrs. SexyCool

February 14th, 2014
8:20 am

An issue of mismatched libidos is different than bad sex. It’s a difference of timing as opposed to technique. Timing can most always be solved with communication. Technique can only some of the time.

Celisea

February 14th, 2014
8:36 am

Call me a dreamer, but romance ain’t down low, it starts in the head. Great relationships are all encompassing. Evenly matched, even keeled and vibing. Matching everything, from desires and beliefs on down to the libido. Great sex is the natural payoff!!

I think I’ll go in today. Gotta run a few errands and pick up some stuff :)

Toodles!!

Into the Light

February 14th, 2014
8:40 am

Morning, all!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Single & Happy

February 14th, 2014
8:40 am

Leggs, have funny, enjoy the cold water (LOL)

Maybe all couples go through a period of mismatched libidos. The key is finding ways to cope with it so it doesn’t mean the beginning of the end. The best thing is to be open to talk about it, and open to suggestions.

Usually the real problems start when you ignore it and hope it just goes away This just like any other problem in a relationship will not go away with time, they usually only get worse. Couples have to be willing to talk about things and act on them immediately. If your S/O says something is a problem then it’s a problem, talk about it and come up with a solution!

Mrs. SexyCool

February 14th, 2014
9:01 am

I remember being a kid and having those 24 valentines in the cardboard box wrapped in the red cellophane paper. I would intently sort through the cards and decide which ones I liked best so that I could give those to my favorite people.

There was always one that was bigger than the rest. In my mind, it was the one that you gave to the person that you *really* liked or wanted to *go with.*

Today, I don’t have a classroom full of valentines to hand out. I only have one. But if I did have a little cellophane wrapped cardboard box of cards, he would get the big one with a box of Conversation Hearts and a bag of Hershey’s Kisses.

Into the Light

February 14th, 2014
9:08 am

Awwww, Mrs. SCool, your post brought back happy memories. I hope you and Mr. SCool have a lovely, loving Valentine’s Day.

Single & Happy

February 14th, 2014
9:13 am

Enter your comments here

Mrs. SexyCool

February 14th, 2014
9:13 am

Thanks, ITL. I am home from work for the first morning since Tuesday night. I’m sitting on the couch, under a blanket, watching Kelly and Michael. He works at night and has just gone to bed. I can hear him snoring from upstairs.

If he wakes up by midday, we will go somewhere for a late breakfast where I’m sure we will trade cards (his are always better than mine). And that will be the extent of our “VDay celebration.”

Into the Light

February 14th, 2014
9:18 am

That sounds like a lovely VDay to me; the kind where you don’t have to do anything outrageous because you show your love all year.

Purple Reign

February 14th, 2014
9:20 am

I would think that a couple could learn each other, on the other hand if you or your mate do not have the basics…there may be a problem that can’t be resolved, if there is not a common ground. One person can be a superfreak and the other can be more tame. I don’t see that situation working out. The real problem is who will concede as most people think they have the best sex ever.

2CPTG©

February 14th, 2014
9:25 am

when everything is good, BUT the sex……all that guarantees, is a second shot to redeem yourself….cause he/she gon’ be like, “well maybe that was an aberration; everything else is on point…maybe he/she was tired”….their other redeeming qualities gon’ afford them that chance….but let the next time be wack….

how y’all do it……#byefelicia

SlimNu

February 14th, 2014
9:36 am

Morning folks & Happy Boo’ed up Day ;-) I called myself buying some cupcakes for my fellow coworkers. Well, I had a little mishap where they flipped over inside the case and got all messed up. They are still edible but that’s love for ya :-)

Single & Happy

February 14th, 2014
9:43 am

Hey slim, it’s the thought that counts :-) good to read you again.

The man formerly know as DAN - still...Superior

February 14th, 2014
9:45 am

@2C

It depends on how it was bad.

For instance, if she’en have no rhythm during the ride…TTSIDL, and it’s irreprable.

If it’s because she only moans, or doesn’t move, or is “limited” in her experience – those things can be fixed (worked on).

As for Valentine’s Day:

[As a kid - Elementary/High School] I never gave cards, unless I was made to, always let that fact be known, and generally didn’t GAS about getting/giving them. When I received cards, I was appreciative and I reciprocated. Otherwise, it was whatever.

[As an adult] I was always amazed at the moment of gift giving and the general hypocrisy behind it. Here I go, spending big money on gift, dinner, and experience (because that’s what I thought was expected and what I expected to get in return) only to receive…a card, some shoes, a ‘fit, and maybe some cologne that she liked…so #BWIM, I stopped going over the top romantic.

Even now, my wife knows that she doesn’t have to get me anything (ever), but if/when she does it’s appreciated. My gifts are practical and useful – massages, spa treatments, a three trip credit at her hairdresser. So yah, call me a valentine’s day grinch, but I rarely get down with the foolishness.

The man formerly know as DAN - still...Superior

February 14th, 2014
9:46 am

*irreparable

Robert

February 14th, 2014
9:52 am

“Have you ever been in a relationship that had everything but good sexual chemistry?”

How did everyone make it through the ice and snow the past 3 days? Hopefully you had company that satisfied your needs (sex, cook, massages, etc.). I can not stand a woman who lacks experience or is unwilling to express herself sexually (oral sex, etc.). Some women have a hard time feeling comfortable enough to relax and enjoy sex with their man. I wonder why she is killing the love making mood? Is it because she is not stimulated or is the man not taking his time (for-play)to get her in the mood? Most women require a “man with a slow hand” to help them get in the mood.

The worst thing in the world is to be confined with someone who does not “float your boat” in the bedroom (man or woman).

Bluzgirl

February 14th, 2014
10:02 am

Morning all! My Valentine is my gay BFF and we’re going to Fat Matt’s tonight! Funny thing is that after we made the plan, I looked to see who is performing tonight and it’s Mags!!!! I’m ok with seeing him. I always enjoyed his music and we’re cool with each other. Wouldn’t say we’re really friends, but cool.

Anyway…Sex is very important in a relationship. If you can’t vibe well together in that aspect, it will start to affect other things in the relationship.

2CPTG©

February 14th, 2014
10:10 am

ladies……if you’re in a relationship/married, or whatever, do you feel obligated to hunch today?

Bluzgirl

February 14th, 2014
10:11 am

2C – Even if I was in a relationship, I wouldn’t be hunching today cause Aunt Flow just came to visit! TMI…I know…

Mrs. SexyCool

February 14th, 2014
10:17 am

Obligated to have sex on a particular day? Naw…our relationship doesn’t work that way.

Would you feel obligated?

2CPTG©

February 14th, 2014
10:19 am

Would you feel obligated?

honestly….kinda….now if we’ve been together for quite some time, then no; but initially, yeah.

SlimNu

February 14th, 2014
10:26 am

I would at least want to be very affectionate, even if it didn’t turn into full fledge sex. As far as the topic, i’ve been with a person that had a very low libido and it was the pits.

kimmie

February 14th, 2014
10:26 am

Happy V Day Gang!!!

Dan, those gifts you speak of – spa treatments, hair salon, sound great to me!! There’s no formula one has to follow to celebrate V day, if they celebrate it at all!!

SCool – I remember those Valentines as a kid and that “one” that would be bigger and a little more special that all the others! I remember 5th grade, I gave mine to Vernon G, he was so cute and reminded you of Micheal Jackson when he was with the Jackson 5! But he broke my heart a few days later when he asked Tracy B for a chance!!

On topic – It just depends what the issue is with the sex. Also , BOTH have to be committed to working thru it. One can’t be willing while the other is like “see ya!” or is tipping out to get their needs met elsewhere.

kimmie

February 14th, 2014
10:28 am

Would you feel obligated?

2C – Not really, like what SCool said, our relationship isn’t that way, but the mood is usually set on special days for it to happen anyway.

Bluzgirl

February 14th, 2014
10:41 am

Is everyone super busy at work today, trying to catch up from 2 days off? I thought I’d be busier, but it’s not bad so far. *knocks on wood*

SlimNu

February 14th, 2014
10:47 am

Bluz – I’m not busy at all at work….for now anyway. I feel like my mind is all screwed up, almost like I’m at work on a Saturday lol

Bluzgirl

February 14th, 2014
10:54 am

Slim – I’m all confused about what day it is! This feels so weird. I’m just so happy to be out of the house. Now, I’ll have a 3 day weekend after I get through this day!

SlimNu

February 14th, 2014
10:57 am

President’s day huh? I still have to work…Booooo

Bluzgirl

February 14th, 2014
10:57 am

That’s the good thing about working at a financial institution

Purple Reign

February 14th, 2014
11:06 am

No I would not feel obligated, but she better feel obligated. lol

Mrs. SexyCool

February 14th, 2014
11:07 am

I didn’t have two days off work. In fact, I slept in my office at the airport for two nights because we are deemed essential personnel. I’m kicked back at the house…finally.

Bluzgirl

February 14th, 2014
11:11 am

Mrs. SC – That had to suck. Glad you are now home and able to relax!

SlimNu

February 14th, 2014
11:13 am

Dang Mrs SC…..well if it makes you feel better, I didn’t have any power for most of the day. I had to chill my beer outside in the snow. lol

Purple Reign

February 14th, 2014
11:15 am

SC, did you have fun hanging out at the airport?

Bluzgirl

February 14th, 2014
11:22 am

I think I’m gonna log off of here for a bit since not much is going on.

Doesn’t anyone have any stories to fabricate? ;-)

Single & Happy

February 14th, 2014
11:22 am

Slim you didn’t have any power :-X

Mrs. SexyCool

February 14th, 2014
11:22 am

Not at all. I spent most of the time making certain that we had enough employees to service the flights that did not get cancelled. I was concerned that I wouldn’t be able to secure enough hotel rooms for the employees that volunteered to stay. I was up at 4a both days to field all the call outs and trying to find out what flights were expected to come through, only to lay on the cot in my office around 1030p.

I finally sent an email to my employees yesterday afternoon telling them that as far as I was concerned the weather event was over and that if they were not at work today, they would be penalized per the attendance policy.

Single & Happy

February 14th, 2014
11:24 am

as far as I was concerned the weather event was over and that if they were not at work today, they would be penalized per the attendance policy. I’m calling my shop steward (LMAO)

Mrs. SexyCool

February 14th, 2014
11:28 am

Non-union…

Single & Happy

February 14th, 2014
11:28 am

Aww damn, Mrs. Boss Lady (LOL)

kimmie

February 14th, 2014
11:29 am

SCool – Folks don’t understand all the hard work that goes on behind the scenes to make sure things run smoothly, not only during crisis but every day.

You are appreciated!!

Single & Happy

February 14th, 2014
11:32 am

Kimmie/Mrs Sexy funny thing is the same folks that think people are crazy for being out in those conditions are the same ones that get pissed when they’re flights gets cancelled, or there’s not enough staff there so things can go smooth.

SlimNu

February 14th, 2014
11:34 am

Single – Nope, I sure didn’t….I got tricked when it came on for all of two minutes and was out again until later on.

2CPTG©

February 14th, 2014
11:36 am

Bluz, surely between you and Light, I’m sure y’all can come up with a whopper of a tale….what about you, kimmie, any fabricated tales from yesterday?

Single & Happy

February 14th, 2014
11:36 am

Slim how long were you’re in the cold?

Single & Happy

February 14th, 2014
11:37 am

2C I thought about that, but didn’t want to start anything (LMAO) maybe you can tell us about another long drive to get some coochie (LOL)

Mrs. SexyCool

February 14th, 2014
11:40 am

I almost passed out when it started snowing yesterday morning. But then, by the afternoon, it was spring. That’s when the email went out.