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Plastic surgery: Should your opinion count?

Blog reader dating dilemma! I have been doing this blog 100 years but this is a new one: Ella had decided to get breast reduction surgery long before she met her beaux. When he learned of her plans, he actually told her that he didn’t approve. Never mind the fact that she has back issues and is desperate need of some relief. He believes he, her boyfriend, gets a vote about this. He even implied that her cup size is the primary reason he approached her, which hurt her feelings.

What if the person you were seeing decided to have a nip or tuck, would it bother you? If they altered their appearance and you can’t rock with it, what would you do?

I can agree that relationships are about compromise, I just don’t know if forcing an opinion is all that fair. Should your opinion be a factor in making a decision about something this major when you are in a dating relationship?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

289 comments Add your comment

Durty Burd

February 7th, 2014
7:06 am

Good Morning!

Hello GlammourGirl! :smile:

Exiled I am working out town on assignment.

2C…. I say spill the beans, tell of the sexual escapades with a bloggette.

Regarding the topic…If plastic surgery can improve your health and life, then you should most definitely do it…

Everyone have a great day!

lee

February 7th, 2014
7:09 am

Good Morning,

I completely understand what Ella is going though. In the end it is her body she needs to feel good about it, not to say she doesn’t now, but back pain and neck pain are real with being stacked on top. He the boyfriend does not get a say, who is he, is he going to marry her??

Everyone needs to do what is right for them, after all you have to live with you until your last breath on earth
TGIF

Button

February 7th, 2014
8:24 am

So in other words the boyfriend is saying if you lose the boobs you’ll lose me. At least he was honest about what attracted him to her. I say to Ella get the reduction. It’s your body, your health and unless he’s going to marry you he really doesn’t have a say as to what you should do to your OWN body. This is not a big delimma.

What if the person you were seeing decided to have a nip or tuck, would it bother you? do men have nip tuck? if so, then no it wouldn’t bother me. I would wonder why go that route instead of putting in the man power and work it off.

Should your opinion be a factor in making a decision about something this major when you are in a dating relationship? we all have an opinion and for something major as having elective surgery is not left up to someone you’re in a relationship with. That should be your decision alone.

Good morning!

Single and Happy

February 7th, 2014
8:25 am

Hey everyone

Okay first of all it’s Ella’s decision, it’s not plastic surgery, this is a health issue! And any one that doesn’t understand that needs to be kicked to the curb!

Should your opinion be a factor in making a decision about something this major when you are in a dating relationship? on the real side of things, when you’re in a dating relationship, your opinion only matter to you, only affect you. so no it doesn’t matter.

He believes he, her boyfriend, gets a vote about this. Let him vote, then find a new boyfriend!!

Single and Happy

February 7th, 2014
8:31 am

Button AL ROKER, yes some men do nip and tucks, among other things.

SlimNu

February 7th, 2014
8:31 am

Dang, telling her her busts were the primary reason he approached her was a hard blow to absorb. I get the whole initial physical attraction thing, but now that they are in a relationship, surely there are some other things that’s keeping his attention. I’m not sure how I’d feel about a dude i’m dating getting plastic surgery. It maybe a bit different for women than it is men in this arena. I would guess to say, you must do things for yourself but at the same time, your partner has to do what they need to do as well. So they may or may not be around after certain decisions are made. It is what it is…

Celisea

February 7th, 2014
8:38 am

Well, ummm if she’s really having a reduction for health reason, he can kick rocks with his opinion. Nobody told him that those boobs ain’t gon be perky always?? lol Not to mention if she have have kids, they ain’t gon be at attention on over into her 40s and 50s….especially if they’re “big” or sizable like described in Diva’s post where they’re causing back problems. So, umm dude, just get over it.

Now, a dude doing plastic surgery for nonhealth related issues? PLEASE don’t come asking me something like that…lol That’s grounds for breaking up!! If you’re wrapped too tight in your looks and the aging process or getting sloppy (i.e. fat), sum’thin ain’t right…..IMO I don’t have much patience ENTYWAY with men and moistness. Not to mention the range of moistness from being vain to birlish. We can start with a crybaby, a gossiper and disher, an instigater, likes to fight women (verbally or physically), throwing rocks and hiding, too much mirror time (shoot if you got it like that you won’t need much mirror time), so forth and so on.

So, ummm, naw don’t come to me with physical changes cause you’re no longer pretty or you’re too lazy to work it off or father time is taking it’s toll. Be okay in the skin you’re in, and for the changes you can make, get out there and lift a cow or two, paint the house, lift the car…lololol It’s easy for men to get weight off…that’s just an example.

And if it’s a decision you need to make for health reason, I’m all ears AAAANNNNDDD supportive.

Celisea

February 7th, 2014
8:40 am

To got to work (site) or not…..THAT is the question. Decision, decisions, decisions.

disco

February 7th, 2014
8:41 am

Good morning.

Should your opinion count? Duh. Is this a survey? As far as I’m concerned a survey is about the only time your opinion really counts. Dude can have 12,000 opinions but I would still go right ahead and do what I wanted to do if were here. And this is whether he was an acquaintance, a boyfriend or a husband. Ain’t nobody toting them knockers around but her.

disco

February 7th, 2014
8:43 am

slim – really? You think that’s hard to absorb? I imagine there are many women who were initially approached because of some physical attribute. I also imagine many of those chicks know that.

Celisea

February 7th, 2014
8:45 am

Off topic: How come (yes, how come) Babyface won’t get his from cleanly cut? I just don’t understand. Yeen gotta go bald or have waves, but danggit all the money you’ve made and is making, you can’t hire a personal barber?

I like Babyface, just his hair has never been right…..to me

Celisea

February 7th, 2014
8:46 am

Now Toni’s cut/do…..rockin!!!! I LOVE her hair cut….soooo fly and jazzy

Celisea

February 7th, 2014
8:49 am

his hair…not “his from”….don’t know where that came from….lololol

Button

February 7th, 2014
9:01 am

Single – good point @ this is not plastic surgery.

Single – Oh snap, I didn’t know Al Roker had work done. LOL he should consider getting his man boobs reduced. lol

Some plastic surgery gone bad –
nene leaks and that gawd awful nose job.
Kenny rogers – face uggh
The cat lady Jocelyn Wildenstein – I have to swallow really hard when I look at her picture.
Any woman with those big ballon sitting on her chest.

SlimNu

February 7th, 2014
9:01 am

disco – I’m just saying that him wanting to talk to her because he liked her big boobs, is not hard to absorb. But in this scenario, and obviously after some time has passed, why bring even bring it up. Surely he’s more emotionally connected to her to not leave her if she gets a little breast reduction. I think he heard REDUCTION and is thinking she’ll go from a FF or something down to an A-cup. He’s not thinking that maybe, just maybe they’ll be even better….while she’s down-sizing, maybe they can perk them up too. ;-)

Button

February 7th, 2014
9:05 am

Single – plastic surgery that men do:
pe~nile implant
pecks
calves
nose
boob reduction
tummy tuck

Celisea

February 7th, 2014
9:07 am

We’re all gonna die and go back to the dust. Why put so much time and effort for such a short stay. And what mother earth don’t take back, father time will.

IJS The silly things people do….my opinion of course.

Button

February 7th, 2014
9:10 am

the only work I want done on me is these bunions on my feet! argh

disco

February 7th, 2014
9:10 am

slim – lol. emotionally connected or not that’s his truth (and hers too). nurturing people’s feelings has never been on my list of to-dos. She’s a grown woman who has probably been stepped to because of her big boobs for as long as she’s had them. if she’s still hurt because someone admits it she needs to hurry up and schedule that surgery.

SlimNu

February 7th, 2014
9:11 am

Button – I just think i’d lose interest if I found out a dude I was dating had any of those implants, or if he was wanting to get them. It’s one thing if it’s something that needs to be done for medical reasons, but purely asthetic, naw.

SlimNu

February 7th, 2014
9:13 am

nurturing people’s feelings has never been on my list of to-dos

disco – yes, yes, we know. lol I’ve seen shows where men dated chicks simply because they are morbidly obese. A woman wanted to try to lose a little weight for health reasons and the dude threaten to leave her. Isn’t that just cray though?

Leggs

February 7th, 2014
9:16 am

If they altered their appearance and you can’t rock with it, what would you do? – Then, you get out of the relationship, plain and simple. However, your opinion on something I chose to do to better my self esteem or for my health is just that, your opinion. It will be taken into consideration, but the ultimate decision rests with me whether you like it or not. We are dating, you don’t have as much voice as you think you do.

I can understand her big busts is what made him approach her because personality doesn’t shine when eyes first meet across the room. However, so uncouth of him to tell her that.

Good morning.

Leggs

February 7th, 2014
9:17 am

It’s like telling a dude I approached him because he had big feet and big hands so I believed he was packing only to find out he actually was the size of a pencil. You think he continue to see me (lolol).

Button

February 7th, 2014
9:18 am

SlimNu- why would you lose interest? If the work was done before we met then it wouldn’t matter to me, heck I would be enthused to get the tea on how and why he had them done. now if we were in a relationship and he stepped to me saying he want to get plastic surgery I would question his sanity and dig a lil deeper as to why the need for a physical change.

MsAtl

February 7th, 2014
9:21 am

Morning All!

I don’t think his opinion matters, particularly as she is doing it for health reasons. My sister had a reduction from an FF down to a “normal” and more manageable size. She is happy with it and her husband did not get a say in it. As far as other types of vanity surgery, the other can voice their opinion but in the end if the other does not like it, they need to decide whether it is a deal breaker.

disco

February 7th, 2014
9:21 am

leggs – would dude continue to see you? likely as long as you continued to see him. lol.

Single and Happy

February 7th, 2014
9:22 am

Disco, now you know what the introduction of blogs, social media, and other outlets, now most people think they’re opinion matter on everything!

Leggs

February 7th, 2014
9:23 am

Single ~ you said it best, he gets a vote and she gets a new boyfriend.

“Any woman with those big ballon sitting on her chest.” – Button, you mean like Big Ang on Mob Wives (uughh).

Button

February 7th, 2014
9:23 am

the risk along can make a love on voice their opinion. I know I would bc of all the risks involved and the post care too. Some folks can’t handle stuff like that.

Leggs

February 7th, 2014
9:24 am

disco ~ he has a pencil, probably not (lol). Just making jokes. I know it’s not about the size but about the motion (sometimes).

SlimNu

February 7th, 2014
9:24 am

Button – I’d be interested to know the tea about the process, but I just think it would take away part of my attraction for him. I’m trying to think how I would feel about it, but i’ve never been in that situation.

Button

February 7th, 2014
9:25 am

Leggs – Bi Ang is a hoot. and her boobs are atrocious! her lips too! if I was close to her I would pop them thangs. lol

Button

February 7th, 2014
9:26 am

men with hair plugs. blad one day and hair next. All I want to know is it real hair? can I run my fingers thru it. the commercials are so appealing.

Button

February 7th, 2014
9:31 am

I’m thinking that Anthony Bourdain had some work done. He’s looking mighty shiny on his show. I like em scruffy. He looked more appealing all scruffy.

Turn off – too much botox.

disco

February 7th, 2014
9:31 am

single – well shame on them. I’m a very opinionated person but I know that my opinion truly doesn’t matter unless I am doing something to/for myself.

I think the bigger issue isn’t folks that think their opinions count so much as it is folks who worry about the opinions of others when those opinions shouldn’t matter.

leggs – I think all that “motion in the ocean” crap is just something that the less endowed and the women that love them tell themselves. lol.

SlimNu

February 7th, 2014
9:31 am

In my opinion, Big Ang looks a hot mess and sounds like a troll. lol

Leggs – We were just discussing ’size’ at work yesterday. I agree, some sizes just won’t work no matter how the motion in the ocean is. The “tree stump” is a no go….meaning short and fat.. :lol:

Leggs

February 7th, 2014
9:38 am

I’m laughing that you thought to explain “tree stump.”

The man formerly know as DAN - still...Superior

February 7th, 2014
9:39 am

Dag

It appears that when someone’s opinion doesn’t align with yours, somma y’all are jumping out of the plane quick.ly.

“You like the toilet roll under? I like it over; we’re through.”

Jeez

SlimNu

February 7th, 2014
9:41 am

Leggs – Well, you know I try to look out for those that need things spelled out sometimes. :lol: I had the ladies at work cracking up…You know that cartoon Ren & Stimply? Well, I changed it up to Ren & Stumpy. We were all delirious, as you can see. lol

Button

February 7th, 2014
9:41 am

disco – tsk tsk tsk don’t go sleeping on those less endowed men. They can touch places well endowed men can’t. To me the well endowed is all a hype. naval stabbers is what I call em. I mean really.

SlimNu – girl you almost made me spill water all over my keyboard! lol

SlimNu

February 7th, 2014
9:42 am

Dan – I’m so tickled that you brought up the tissue issue. That’s how it was for my ex and i. He liked it under and I always put it in over. Even though it would irk me every time I’d use it, I’d patiently wait until it was done so I can put a new one in ‘over’. lolol It was a silent battle.

disco

February 7th, 2014
9:42 am

dan – re the toilet paper roll. I don’t care that you LIKE it under and I like it over. I care when you change from over to under. lol.

Button

February 7th, 2014
9:43 am

Dan – well actually I like the toilet paper rolled under, my G can give a damn how it’s rolled as long as it’s there! lol

disco

February 7th, 2014
9:44 am

button – trust. The last thing anyone has to worry about is me “sleeping on” the less endowed. I’ll let the chicks who don’t mind or the ones who are afraid of the D have those brothers. lol.

Button

February 7th, 2014
9:45 am

I like it under bc I can rip it without touching it. roll and rip roll and rip.

MsAtl

February 7th, 2014
9:46 am

Dan- Everyone knows the roll goes over, lol.

Button- There really is such a thing as too much…

Button

February 7th, 2014
9:46 am

disco – so you mean to tell me that if the dude is less endowed you’d take a bow?

Button

February 7th, 2014
9:49 am

disco

February 7th, 2014
9:50 am

button – we’ll just say that is most definitely a deal breaker. personality be damned. lol.

Single and Happy

February 7th, 2014
9:51 am

Disco, that should be one of the first thoughts when giving unsolicited opinions, how does it affect me. Because even though you may not like it, evidently somebody does!!

Dan now that’s when you’re just looking for a reason to leave (LOL)