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Dilemma: We have a texting problem

I know we have collectively decided as a society that text messaging is a completely acceptable form of communication. Somehow we think is it fine to deliver bad news, be romantic, or even break up with someone in a text message. Yeah, can we go back and vote on this again?

You can’t replace verbal communication because there is nothing like hearing a man’s voice asking to see you and spend time with you. It’s just the best feeling that can spark chemistry instantly! So why are so many people happy to use texting in it’s place?

I know a young lady who is seeing someone new who insists of texting all their important conversations. She protested at first but now she adapted and is missing those actual conversations by phone or better yet face to face.

Would it be unfair to ask the person you are dating to limit the text messages you two exchange?

Do you think texting when you are in the early stages of dating brings you closer or impedes the relationship?

Has texting ever been an issue for you? How did you resolve it?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

260 comments Add your comment

Single and Happy

February 4th, 2014
11:08 am

Disco, if someone keeps saying trust me then it’s game (LOL) Also technology is what gets most of these so call players caught, don’t know how to delete text, sends multiple texts, but forget to make it where the receiver can’t see who else you sent them too or reply only to you, don’t know how do delete pictures, pocket dials, or having your phone next to the bed while you’re smashing the other chick and she hits redial, should I go on (LOL)

Button

February 4th, 2014
11:09 am

disco – @ 11:00 you put a lot of thought into this lol j/k

YesSheIsCute

February 4th, 2014
11:09 am

Wow this conversation went south real quick

disco

February 4th, 2014
11:09 am

button – really that’s my argument against text messages in general not just as they relate to men and/or relationships. I hate the notion of getting a generic azz random azz message sent to everybody. Folks have told me they texted me holiday greetings or birth announcements or whatever (naturally I didn’t get the message – lol). I asked a cousin for a pic of her baby and she had the nerve to refer me to facebook. I told her I would not be mailing a baby gift until she sent me pictures personally. Wish I would get a facebook account just to see a baby. Please. She sent me pics. lol.

Button

February 4th, 2014
11:10 am

Single/disco – folks been cheating, two timing way before text/cell phone been around.

disco

February 4th, 2014
11:12 am

button – yeah. I think about random stuff like that all the time. a benefit of my pessimistic nature.

Single and Happy

February 4th, 2014
11:13 am

Disco, even though I do text, and face book, there are certain people that I will always call to say happy birthday or any other announcement too.

YesSheIsCute

February 4th, 2014
11:14 am

@Single and Happy I had someone send me a pic of him talking about this is for you but had it as a group message to other numbers in various area codes. I sure did reply to all and said nice pic Bryan. LOL I started to write nice pic Brandon instead but I figured the reply all was enough. They just don’t know how to put those thinking caps on sometimes.

Single and Happy

February 4th, 2014
11:15 am

Button, yes they have, but technology has made it easier to catch them, especially with all these spy apps, gps and other things.

Button

February 4th, 2014
11:15 am

disco – I get it, well as it’s been said to me numerous of times to get with the program or be left behind scammbling(sp) lol

I feel you though regarding text if it’s not for you it’s not for you. Not everyone is into texting every doggone thing. Some ppl live breath eat text. my only qualm is those forsaken chain text, it grates my nerve!

Single and Happy

February 4th, 2014
11:17 am

Yes I had those mass text, if you reply back then you start getting all these text asking who you are (LOL)

Button

February 4th, 2014
11:18 am

Sinlge – and before technology they went the old fashion way and either followed the perp or hire a PI.

I like the show Cheaters.

Single and Happy

February 4th, 2014
11:19 am

Button, with invention of Facebook, I don’t get the chain text, or emails anymore. Now every thing is lets see if you will re-post this (NOT!!)

disco

February 4th, 2014
11:19 am

yes – see that text right there would have given me an attitude TWICE. lol.

single – yet there are so many dopes out there who still get duped. smdh.

actually I didn’t “hate” texting back in the day. I think I was cool when it was pay per text because usage was minimal. When free texting became the norm folks lost their daggone minds and I had to nip it in the bud. I found out quick that you can’t ask people not to text you.

Exiled!

February 4th, 2014
11:19 am

Disco…that 11:00 am, first paragraph, explains why u’re single,not attached and why ur Red neon sign reads,”Free to mix and mingle,Holla!”…:

ur explained the game and shows u so hip to it! :lol:

Exiled!

February 4th, 2014
11:21 am

@Button…11:09..i hadnt even read ur post..

u got it on Disco.. :lol:

nobody is gon catch Disco..trust!

Single and Happy

February 4th, 2014
11:22 am

Button, I get a laugh off cheaters sometimes, but if you got to hire a PI or call cheaters, you arse already know what’s going on, why not just leave. which most on that show don’t do even after “catching them”. Also, in the big city sometimes it’s a little hard to “follow the perp”. Now all I have to do is call and ask you where your at while sitting there looking at you (LOL)

disco

February 4th, 2014
11:24 am

ex – it’s as simple as that huh? go figure. lol. folks ask me all the time why I’m single. Now I know to respond “because I’m hip to the game”.

I think more of why I’m single is based on the fact that I don’t like a lot of people and a lot of people don’t like me. that decreases the odds on both ends. A guy summed it up years ago by saying I was one of those people you either like or you don’t. there’s generally no in between with me.

Button

February 4th, 2014
11:36 am

Single – dudes and dudettes are straight up busted! lol

kimmie

February 4th, 2014
11:37 am

Morning Gang!

Yes, running relationships via text is a sign of the times. Some things never change though. If you want something to really pop off, you gotta put in that face-to-face time, and preferably set that time up via telephone conversation. I just don’t see total, actual plans being made via text, but I guess it happens. I personally would not accept a date via text or carry on an entire “conversation” via text. Again, I get some folks do, it just wouldn’t be me. Some men do it and some women are accepting of it. Shrugs

Texts are great for quick confirmation of things, like a time or address, or a “hey stuck in traffic, but be there in 10 minutes”, that stuff. A flirty, even dirty text within an established relationship is nice.

Would it be unfair to ask the person you are dating to limit the text messages you two exchange?

I don’t see how it’s ever unfair to ask for what you want in a relationship! If you would like less texts and more one-on-one, more back rubs, more dinners at home, more sex, more etc, the other person cannot read your mind. Open up your mouth and ask for what you want. They have the option of saying yes, no or making a counter offer!

Leggs

February 4th, 2014
11:38 am

I used to love watching Cheaters until the rumors started spreading that most of the show is fake, they hired actors, the scene when Joey Grecko (whatever his name is) was stabbed on the boat and thrown overboard was staged, I became suspect. HOWEVER, I like to be entertained and some of those scenes are hysterical. Sorry, I love a good fight. I especially liked the one when wifey found her hubby taking a canoe ride with her best friend. That one was funny watching her roll up on them in a canoe. I’m laughing remembering it.

Button

February 4th, 2014
11:40 am

disco – I bet underneath all that rough shod is a sweet lady yearning for affection probably burst at the seams if a guy winked and blew a kiss at you from across the room.

Leggs

February 4th, 2014
11:40 am

“I don’t see how it’s ever unfair to ask for what you want in a relationship!” Excellent point. If you’re feeling some kind of way about something be true to yourself and speak up. Too many go with the flow because they don’t want to come across as pesky, needy, hard to please, etc. SPEAK UP PEOPLE!

disco

February 4th, 2014
11:41 am

I’ve never watched cheaters. Heard about it a lot though. primarily from the friend who claims she watches tv based on where she is in her life. Her line up was something like this: we’re having a baby. whose wedding is it anyway. cheaters. divorce court. lol.

Button

February 4th, 2014
11:42 am

Leggs- yes they are fake just like wrestling but entertaining.

disco

February 4th, 2014
11:42 am

button – I’m nice enough. Only called sweet by the little old lady set. A wink is just creepy and a kiss from across the room would not be very well received either. I’d probably think it corny.

Button

February 4th, 2014
11:44 am

disco – hmmm sounds like reality for some lol first you have a baby then get married somebody cheats and then divorce lol

Celisea

February 4th, 2014
11:45 am

Heeeey, where’s my post

Leggs

February 4th, 2014
11:45 am

“…probably burst at the seams if a guy winked and blew a kiss at you from across the room.” – the visual cracked me up. Naw, that’s not happening with disco. I immediately thought of Felix the Cat with that brick of hers (rofl).

Button

February 4th, 2014
11:45 am

disco – lol imma call you ruff and tuff wit ya afro puff rock on witya bad self.

Celisea

February 4th, 2014
11:46 am

On topic: Never mind…lol I’m not retyping what’s pretty much already been said.

probably burst at the seams if a guy winked and blew a kiss at you from across the room I believe we call this “googly eyed.” LOLOLOL Or misreading, perhaps wishing?? LOLOL

Button

February 4th, 2014
11:47 am

Leggs – disco just have’nt met the right guy yet. She has a tuff exterior/persona but inside she’s puddy.

Celisea

February 4th, 2014
11:48 am

Googly eyed gal :mrgreen: Riiiiigggghhhhhttttt

Button

February 4th, 2014
11:49 am

at least 2C has a chance —2C are you crossing out the days on your calendar for your chance with disco?

kimmie

February 4th, 2014
11:50 am

As for Cheaters being fake, I always thought quite a bit of it was staged. It’s so cheesy. But when I really want a laugh, I watch it!LOL!!

I actually assume most things on tv are fake or staged to a certain point. Even some news is edited to be conveyed a “certain” way.

Leggs

February 4th, 2014
11:50 am

“…and a kiss from across the room would not be very well received either. I’d probably think it corny.” – Me too. I would feel some kind of way about that. His usual m.o., wouldn’t find that attractive coming from a stranger.

Button ~ no doubt. I think you post might have been better if you said she’s pudding inside and not puddy (lolololol). Whew, that was funny!

disco

February 4th, 2014
11:51 am

button – trust. I’m tough inside too. therein lies the real problem. since I’m not going to be or pretend to be less tough I need a man who is tough enough. They hard to find. there are some punk azz men out here. lol. then I find men try to be/act tougher thinking that’s going to get them somewhere with me. they don’t even understand the strength it takes to deal with me. I’m a self-confirmed piece of work.

Celisea

February 4th, 2014
11:53 am

then I find men try to be/act tougher thinking that’s going to get them somewhere with me. they don’t even understand the strength it takes to deal with me.

That’s cause they thought they read “googly eyed.” ,

Leggs

February 4th, 2014
11:55 am

or even putty (lol).

disco

February 4th, 2014
11:56 am

Like 20 years ago a cousin predicted that I was going to be that mean little old lady that scared all the neighborhood kids. talking about I’d have a backyard full of balls because the kids would be scared to retrieve them. yeah. She got jokes.

Button

February 4th, 2014
12:05 pm

Leggs – puddy pudding putty either one will do.

Leggs – now you know darn well if a good looking guy were to do that you’d be all gooshy. stawp playing lol

disco – yes it’s hard out there meeting presentable men but it’s not impossible. They are out there but with a jacked up attitude or to have that spirit of negativity always spewing from your pores will repel the good guys. Not telling you how to conduct yourself but to be a self professed “piece of work” is not going to get you very far, mof nowhere. You have a sharp mind and quick wit with a cool sense of humor maybe turning the piece of work tude to a piece of jewel might be a good thing.

Celisea

February 4th, 2014
12:06 pm

Off topic:

I don’t know if anyone heard The Bert Show, but it was hiiiilarious, they mimicked last night’s Bachelor episode. I mean they had Juan Pablo to a tee! I guessing that was Bert. Juan was smooching and feeling some chick up. I missed that part, but I was channel surfing when he was apparently rethinking his actions and talked with her in private. He told that chick that it was wrong (whatever went down as his daughter might have been watching and that he needs to keep fair to the other ladies and not do that kind of thing again.

I was laughing sooo hard. When I looked at the car next to me, they were looking at me laughing just as hard. I think we were both listening to Bert. Hiiilarious!! Kristen usually grates on my nerves, but she was spot on today, in playing that chicks part…sobbing and going on. ON NATIONAL TV OVER A DUDE THAT AIN’T YOUR MAN, THAT A GAZILLION WOMEN ARE FIGHTING OVER!!

Leggs

February 4th, 2014
12:10 pm

Button ~ seriously, I wouldn’t. I’ve been blown kisses many times, it does nothing for me coming from strange men.

Leggs

February 4th, 2014
12:11 pm

Wait, Celisea. Are you saying she was crying because he wouldn’t continue to smooch and feel her up? She wanted him to sex her and he wouldn’t and she’s crying???

disco

February 4th, 2014
12:14 pm

button – a lot of people share your perspective. I say, changing me will not change them. what’s out there is out there. btw, I didn’t say it was impossible to meet men or that there weren’t good guys. I think I said that there were a lot of punk azz men out there. that’s the truth whether I’m positive, negative, mean, nice, pleasant or stank acting.

Celisea

February 4th, 2014
12:16 pm

Leggs, apparently there were in the ocean getting hot and heavy, on a group date. I guess they got a few minutes away. Well, some time later, I guess she thought everything was cool or got her a few cool points and he went left. She was taken aback, you could tell. He was like, “ummm, we shouldn’t have done what we did, my daughter might have been watching, plus it’s not fair to the other ladies”, I guess to steal away. Boy, she reacted that he gut punched her.

Celisea

February 4th, 2014
12:18 pm

I didn’t see the whole smoothing scene. But from Kristen and Bert, and the post convo I saw, I’m pretty sure that’s what went down.

Celisea

February 4th, 2014
12:18 pm

Leggs

February 4th, 2014
12:25 pm

Hmmm, she realized she’s not no where near being #1 because he’s looking out for the interests of the other ladies and his daughter. Stop that damn crying because you decided to get on a show and vie for the affections of a man along with 800 other women.

Single and Happy

February 4th, 2014
12:25 pm

Dang disco twin, I’m that old man hollering you kids get off my grass (LOL)