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Dating: When do you back off?

Sometimes a guy is getting the run around from someone he is pursuing but he doesn’t realize it. One of our readers wants to know when or if he should back off from a young lady he met last year. He has spent time with her but only if he initiates. His efforts are not reciprocated so he wonders if he should cut his losses and move on.

There are women who enjoy the whole process of being pursued and courted. Then there are those who will use a guy for attention, meals, and even sex. Guys have to be careful not to waste their efforts on the wrong women.

So how do you know when to back off? What if the person gives mixed messages?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

142 comments Add your comment

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
8:31 am

Hey everyone

so what should I do, should I ask where this is going, or just keep spending time with her and hopes she realizes how much she really loves me?? Oh the dilemma, I think I’ll just ask her.

disco

January 31st, 2014
8:45 am

Good morning. The run around huh? old boy whining about the runaround? A lot of men would just be happy the chick wasn’t sweating them or pressuring them to commit. the occasional date, the occasional “relations”. Sounds like a placeholder relationship to me. short answer: he’s not the one she wants BUT he can choose to hang around for the temporary benefits or he can go elsewhere.

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
8:52 am

Hey disco, guess it’s just you and me again :-)

disco

January 31st, 2014
8:56 am

Looks that way. Maybe the rest of the blog is giving us the run around.

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
8:57 am

Yea they just using use for our words

disco

January 31st, 2014
9:02 am

Well at least they aren’t asking to borrow your truck? lol. I suspect it’s going to be a long day. I’m looking out the window imagining how inmates must feel when they manage to get a peek outside.

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
9:06 am

Disco, shhh don’t be giving any hints (LOL) I’m sure they get a different feeling, because you can walk out there, they can’t (LOL)

SlimNu

January 31st, 2014
9:07 am

Morning all,

Finally back in the office after all that mayheim.

disco

January 31st, 2014
9:08 am

Alright single – we’ve got the floor. Let’s talk about pet peeves. I’ll go first. People who don’t know how to answer a direct question. I can respect if you don’t want to answer, refuse to answer or simply say I don’t know but to answer by going up the block and around the corner and ultimately end up giving me a response that has nothing to do with the original question irks the heck out of me.

Hey slim!!!!!

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
9:12 am

Hey slim, welcome back, I came out looking for you

Pet peeves, so hard to narrow them down. but one would be the over use of words, “literally, basically” and using bring in the wrong context

disco

January 31st, 2014
9:14 am

Continuing with pet peeves. Folks who can’t remember anything. Always going “what’s the name of that movie/that restaurant/that place went. You know who I’m talking about. What’s his name/ what’s her name?” why don’t you hang up and call me back when YOU know what you are talking about.

Reio

January 31st, 2014
9:23 am

Morning all.

Well, I must say that during my dating years I was fortunate, in that, all of the women that I expressed interest in (Asked for her phone number, or, asked her out) reciprocated in such a way that I was convinced that they, likewise, were interested in me, to some degree.

Seems like I can recall an instance when I asked a woman out and she may have said “I’d like to, but I may not be able to that evening, let me get back to you”, and did. Or, “I’m kinda seeing someone right now but….” The only phone number I didn’t get was a time or two that they didn’t have a phone. There was an instance or two where I got the impression that they weren’t quite as interested in me as I was in them, and if you know me, you better believe I mentioned this to them, and each time they seemed to perk up and show more interest. Why it took my mentioning of this to them to cause them to perk up, I don’t know, but it seemed to do the trick.

I will say this though, back then, just as now, if I express interest, she has to reciprocate immediately. Otherwise I’ll just turn, walk away, and don’t look back. I would pursue, but I never chased. She either reciprocated right then, or I was gone for good. If you play hard to get with me,
“You won’t git got”.
Hell, I was the kind of guy who would have said, had this happened to me, “Well, that’s ok, is that your sister over there? She’s cute, what’s her name?” Oh yeah, I certainly would have, had the situation been just right. If I express an interest in you, but you, for whatever reason, can’t or won’t reciprocate right then?, for me it would be as if you never existed. Just move on to the next one, even if it’s your sister. Didn’t give a damn. Still don’t.

disco

January 31st, 2014
9:34 am

hey reio – I suppose I understand where issues of mixed signals and communication errors could come into play especially since you mentioned playing hard to get. some women were simply raised to play that game. Be aloof, don’t act eager, let him call you. all well and great but I know chicks that won’t even return calls because they figure that’s “sweating him”. I’m not knocking anyone’s dating rules but I suppose some rules are just holding folks back.

disco

January 31st, 2014
9:41 am

single – back to pet peeves (can you tell I’ve been going through it lately – lol). folks who bring extra people with them when you invite them someplace. Sometimes it’s cool. Sometimes it’s not. You really should check before you show up with someone else in tow.

SlimNu

January 31st, 2014
9:44 am

Howdy disco!

Single – You came out looking for me where? I wasn’t one of those folks stranded on the side of the road, thank God!

Exiled

January 31st, 2014
9:51 am

Advice to Diva’s male friend and All men:

Don’t moan;make her moan…literally! :lol:

See,if a chic is acting like she wants but she ain’t going the next mile….get with her program. Get with her when you feel like it. Pretend like u don’t see how she is playing it.

If she just wants u for sex…..what’s there to moan bout? :lol:

Who in their right mind,for example,is gon moan that a ho don’t wanna be wifed? :lol:

Some men just don’t have it upstairs!

Where is ur pride for Christ sake?

If a chic just wants a man for restaurants visits,make her earn the dinner! Bring her home!

Don’t moan…make them moan!

Happy Friday MIA!

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
9:51 am

Slim whew, I thought I passed you by :-) How long did it take you to get home?

Disco, things that make you go hmm (LOL)

Reio

January 31st, 2014
9:52 am

disco – As much as I would have regretted it, because there were several women that I was really anxious to get to know, had they not reciprocated, I would have moved on. And I know that some women were raised to be aloof a bit, or, don’t be too forward, hell, my sisters were. I still remember my mom telling my sisters “Don’t let him know you’re too interested…”, or, “Be a lady, don’t be like Brenda, that chile’s azz is too fast.” So, I was aware of this, but didn’t care.

disco

January 31st, 2014
9:54 am

Ex – I hate to admit it but I like that. “don’t moan. make them moan.” that’s a good one.

SlimNu

January 31st, 2014
9:55 am

Single – Well I didn’t try to drive all the way to Conyers so I crashed at a friends crib closer to the job….even with that being close it took a couple of hours. A friend of mine was in traffic about 10.5 hrs….she still didn’t make it home. She had to stay at one of her friends house…then a guy friend of mine ended up abandoning his car on 285 and walked to a hotel off Camp Creek. THey were out of rooms so he slept in the lobby with a bunch of other stranded folks.

Exiled

January 31st, 2014
9:57 am

Slim…I still don’t get how folks get stranded on the highway..now they wanna blame the governor and mayor etc.

Some folks are not street smart!

Why wait to be dismissed from your job by your boss when danger is coming.?

I don’t get it.

Me,I will just disappear from work,no explanation.

And…u know…a lil seniority helps. :lol:

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
9:59 am

Slim I took the side roads, and was suprised at how little traffic was on them, but the major arteries were jammed pack, I made it home in 1 1/2 hours, that was from north of downtown to morrow. I passed over 285 and moreland, and 285 was stopped in both directions, and we were just breezing by them (LOL)

Exiled

January 31st, 2014
10:00 am

Or,take a sick day off.

Why blame the governor?

Wussification of America in action

Celisea

January 31st, 2014
10:01 am

MMeello, it amazes me how you’re “the man”, but nearly all of your advice and antics are playing games….pretend you don’t see her, pretend she’s irrelevant, blah blah blah….really? Is that how GROWN men do it? I mean a “tight” game would be a man that gets it done and said sans any pretense, any of this right here —–>

See,if a chic is acting like she wants but she ain’t going the next mile….get with her program. Get with her when you feel like it. Pretend like u don’t see how she is playing it.

A playa playa ain’t gotta pretend. It is what it is and you sold it as such. IJS

Mornting :mrgreen:

disco

January 31st, 2014
10:01 am

The bright side is that some folks have a good story to tell about where they were. Of course, the folks who were safe at home were safe at home. What’s so exciting about that 20 years from now when you are recounting the tale?

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
10:01 am

Disco, one of my pet peeves is people who gives long answers and then get mad because I don’t.

Leggs

January 31st, 2014
10:03 am

Speaking from experience, he should cut her loose. She’s not interested in him. If he should call at a time when she’s bored and has nothing else to do and wants to get out, she will take him up on his offer. She declines more of his date requests because she basically finds him boring. It’s not what she’s looking for long-term but will accommodate him short-term. He already knows the real deal just hoping against hope. I would tell him to stop calling her, stop asking her out and although he doesn’t realize, she probably thinks of him as a diehard chump.

I guarantee you, once you stop running behind her, she’ll turn around and see that you’re not there wondering why you’re no longer pursuing her and when she calls you, give her the brush off. Plain and simple. Women want you to want them, even if they don’t want you. #truth.com

Good morning.

Celisea

January 31st, 2014
10:04 am

His efforts are not reciprocated so he wonders if he should cut his losses and move on.

I can almost bet, without knowing, that this chick ain’t took her turn to pay for his meal…lololol Diva it’s not “wasted efforts”, for a man to do what a man is suppose to do. But hey, what do I know? What’s efforts not reciprocated? What does that mean to this guy? It’s hard to discuss, cause some dudes will scream Bloody Mary when really, he’s crying wolf and being made to stand up and be a man. If being a man is too much of a stretch, then yeah, pull out.

disco

January 31st, 2014
10:09 am

leggs – how you gone tell old boy to stop calling? You and I both know most women keep a flunkie in her rotation. He’s the flunkie. Let him stick around and do what a flunkie does until he gets sick and tired of it. lol. he leaves too soon and our girl will be pressed to find another flunkie. A good flunkie is hard to find.

SlimNu

January 31st, 2014
10:10 am

Ex – I just don’t think anyone really believed the weather would be that bad. We always here about snow or flurries and nothing major happens. In this case, when it happened it happened super fast…then couple that with everyone trying to leave at the same dayum time….just added up to a big arse mess

2CPTG©

January 31st, 2014
10:12 am

a year?? really, dude?

SlimNu

January 31st, 2014
10:12 am

Single – Well lucky you that you knew about the side roads….I don’t know what I would’ve done had I been stuck.

2CPTG©

January 31st, 2014
10:17 am

I don’t know what I would’ve done had I been stuck.

Call me!

DuShawn

January 31st, 2014
10:18 am

If a chick plays hard to get with me……her azz won’t get got. It’s a fine line between persistence and nuisance.

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
10:18 am

Slim have to know those side roads when you have to go through downtown and use the interstates on a regular basis.

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
10:19 am

2C I wonder how many people did call someone only for both of them to end up stuck (LOL)

disco

January 31st, 2014
10:21 am

Y’all got me thinking of that song (hi-five I think – help me out leggs. lol). “she’s playing hard to get and she won’t admit it. she’s playing cuz she likes me”.

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
10:22 am

Disco, pet peeves (lmao)

disco

January 31st, 2014
10:24 am

single – I missed the joke. What’s the pet peeve? Playing hard to get or being reminded of songs?

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
10:29 am

disco, folks who can’t remember anything

Celisea

January 31st, 2014
10:31 am

And oftentimes, you ain’t playing hard to get, sometimes a dude just don’t get it. So it reeeeallly depends on which side of the coin you’re on. If a chick a feeling you, beat it! I laughed when I typed this….lololol Don’t go blaming her cause you’re Stuck like Chuck and can’t read the writing on the wall.

On a serious tip, any man or woman that’s feeling you will definitely reciprocate. Away with all the formulaic crap for getting her panties. If she wants you in there, she’ll take them off…..

disco

January 31st, 2014
10:33 am

single – omg. We go in circles on that one. Dude be like “you know what I’m talking about” and I’m like no I don’t. usually I do know but I just refuse to help. lol. I then urge him to just say what it is he’s trying to say anyway but he’s still stuck on trying to remember the name of something. it would be funny if it didn’t irk me so.

Leggs

January 31st, 2014
10:33 am

disco ~ yes, he’s the flunkie but since he’s whining about it he may as well stop calling. He has problems being the flunkie so stop being the flunkie!

♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪
She’s playin
She’s playin hard
She’s playin hard to get
She’s playin
She…but she likes me
She likes me
She’s playin hard to get
She’s playin…she
But she likes me
She likes me
She likes me
She’s playin

I can tell by the look in her eyes
That she’s into me
Cuz when she passes by and say “Hi”
I can tell by her smile
That she’s shy as can be (She’s playin’)
I don’t think she can see my crush on her
♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

kimmie

January 31st, 2014
10:35 am

Morning All!!

Why wait to be dismissed from your job by your boss when danger is coming.?

Exiled – This reminds me of a special I was watching right after 9/11. They were interviewing people who had to evacuate the twin towers. A couple of folks at one of the investment firms talked about this sister that was the receptionist at the front desk. She was described as one of those hardcore, brownnosing, by-the-book types. Folks were getting all kinds of warnings that something was going down at the other tower and they needed to evacuate immediately. She kept going on about how she wasn’t going to leave until she got the okay from her boss, yada yada and everyone should just stay put. Well everyone else with some sense was like “eff that” and were getting the H outta there, leaving her sitting at that front desk. Nobody ever saw her again. :(

disco

January 31st, 2014
10:36 am

leggs – I knew you could name that tune. If we were to ever meet and ever be in a music trivia match I want you on my team. lol. btw, dude may know he’s the flunkie but he’s not ready to accept it yet. I hope girlie milks him for a little bit more.

kimmie

January 31st, 2014
10:43 am

On topic – She’s just not that into ya dude. And that’s okay. You can stick around if you want and be her flunkie. If you get ghost on her and suddenly she starts acting interested, I would still advice against getting with her. She’s playing games. But that’s just me.

Like Disco said earlier, dudes complain all the time about women “sweating them” or trying to pin them down when they are not ready, blah blah blah. I don’t think it’s rocket science to figure out if someone is into you or not. It’s not hard to let someone know you ARE into them without coming off thirsty or stalkerish. Well, it shouldn’t be hard, but what do I know?? LOL!!

Celisea

January 31st, 2014
10:45 am

I hope the dude in today’s post will let it go if she’s not ready. Like I said, I need to understand exactly what he means saying she’s not reciprocating. Does he say I love you and she’s not said it in return? Is he paying for the meals and she’s not offered? Does he have to pick her up all the time? Does he do all the planning? What? Or, is he really going out on a limb, like for real and she’s not shown any gratitude? And how can you tell a dude was feeling you probably more than he’s willing to admit, he’s awwwfully salty. Hope this won’t happen to him. Nothing worse than a bitter dude. A mangina would be in order if it comes to this…lol

Everybody is grown and should be able to move on. If she played too hard to get for you and you was a good dude…..her lost. If she didn’t fall for the okie doke, then call it as such and stop hatin, saying she played hard to get. You already know yeen want nothing noway :)

SlimNu

January 31st, 2014
10:46 am

A good flunkie is hard to find….hahahahahaha disco you’re sooooo funny :lol:

disco

January 31st, 2014
10:47 am

random – I was trying to wait until it warmed up some before taking my car to the car wash. I felt it would be almost disrespectful to get your car hand washed in freezing temps but today, somebody, somewhere is going to wash my car.

disco

January 31st, 2014
10:50 am

slim – might be funny but it’s honest. Just any old body can’t be a good flunky. They have to look at least well enough that you don’t mind spending time with them occasionally. They have to at least have (and be willing to spend) enough money that they are worth keeping around. They need to be handy or have some kind of skill that you need be it mechanic, painter, plumber, something. and they have to express interest without beating you over the head with it and getting on your nerves. Tell me that ain’t hard to find. ijs.

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
10:50 am

Disco, if they’re washing in the cold and that’s how they make their living, why would it be disrespectful

Slim/Disco, now you guys know a good flunky is not hard to find, now a good one that you don’t mind being seen with that’s a different story

SlimNu

January 31st, 2014
10:53 am

disco – I feel ya on the car wash deal because right now my car looks a hot mess. It still has big chunks of dirty black ice stuck to the bottom of it. I’m just glad I don’t drive a white car right about now. The silver hides the dirt pretty well. ;-)

As far as the topic goes, many dates have fizzled due to the lack of interest on my part or theirs. Lack of communication or desire to try to see each other, means we just aren’t that into the person, to me. Like disco said, it would be a break in case of severe boredom lol

SlimNu

January 31st, 2014
10:54 am

Single – All flunkies aren’t hideous though lol

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
10:56 am

Slim, that’s why I said one you want to be seen with, you have had several good flunky offers, but you turn them down because of age. And disco, has plenty of flunkies, they just need to offer something other than dinner.

disco

January 31st, 2014
10:56 am

single – I get your point but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. at everyone’s job/in everyone’s life there comes a point when they say “bump this.” I imagine washing cars in 10 degrees is a “bump this” moment (it would be for me). I’d hate for some little kid to lose their job because I wanted my car washed. lol.

disco

January 31st, 2014
10:57 am

single – did you check out the flunkie checklist? Just because a dude is willing to be a flunkie doesn’t mean he’d make a good flunkie.

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
10:58 am

Disco, if they’re open then they are willing to wash it, Around here if it’s too cold their not open.

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
10:59 am

disco, like most times we’re typing at the same time, almost saying the same thing (LOL)

Leggs

January 31st, 2014
11:00 am

disco ~ you’re on teammate!

disco

January 31st, 2014
11:04 am

single – if they are open, those jokers are just at work clocking in hours hoping nobody comes in wanting to get their car washed. now granted, I know some folks do and will take their cars, I’m only saying I couldn’t bring myself to do it. guess I do have some empathy after all. lol.

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
11:05 am

Disco has a heart :-)

disco

January 31st, 2014
11:09 am

single – yep. and disco doesn’t want to realize weeks later that dude at the car wash tucked a sardine in my back seat thinking to himself “I’ll show this heffa”. lol.

Leggs

January 31st, 2014
11:11 am

disco ~ I’m laughing that you’re so concerned over someone’s hands being cold washing your car in the cold. I’m sitting here thinking any minute you’re going to say something along the lines of you knowing it’s cold, they’re cold no way they’re going to give 100% because they too want to get back to the warmth of inside. You pay, you get a good 85% quickie.

kimmie

January 31st, 2014
11:11 am

tucked a sardine in my back seat thinking to himself “I’ll show this heffa”

:lol:

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
11:12 am

Disco, if these places are open when it’s freezing, they would have to be using warm water so it doesn’t freeze. so it wouldn’t be that bad. Now a car wash being open with no cars to wash??? that’s like a car wash being open on a rainy day, just doesn’t happen around here. (LOL) well at least not the ones I pass by.

disco

January 31st, 2014
11:14 am

Kimmie / leggs – like I said, we all have our “bump this” point. Why push people to their limits?

kimmie

January 31st, 2014
11:14 am

Disco – I agree with Single they are probably using warm water. I’m sure they probably have on thick waterproof work gloves too.

They are probably happy to get a customer to get some tips!

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
11:15 am

Leggs, I don’t take my truck to get it washed, because they’ve always did 75% job didn’t make a difference what the weather was. I’ve only had this one guy that did a good job, but he was one of those side of the road car washes. but those chains never do a good job for me.

disco

January 31st, 2014
11:19 am

Y’all gone make me ask the car wash guys how they really feel. lol.

single – I’m not overly picky re the car wash. as long as I can see the difference from before and after I’m pretty happy. I had a friend who was super picky. I told her she went to the car wash and expected to leave with a paint job. She told me I was positive about the wrong things (a jab at my negative personality – lol). If my car wasn’t so grimy I’d wait until my service appointment next week. I always have those jokers wash my car.

SlimNu

January 31st, 2014
11:21 am

I think about their hands freezing too, which is why I would not want to work at a car wash. lol

SlimNu

January 31st, 2014
11:21 am

disco – So would you tip the washer more due to the cold weather?

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
11:22 am

Disco, I’m not super picky, but if I’m paying it needs to be better than if I did it at home. I won’t take it back, I just don’t go back.

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
11:23 am

Slim bring your car over I’ll wash it (flunky) LOL

disco

January 31st, 2014
11:25 am

single – I don’t wash my car so I’m good if you just knock the dust off it. now, I do keep the interior clean on my own. I have a car vac and wipes and all plus I rarely have passengers so the inside is good.

SlimNu

January 31st, 2014
11:27 am

Single – Where and when? :oops:

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
11:28 am

Slim I’m still waiting on your email :-D

disco

January 31st, 2014
11:29 am

single – speaking of flunkies. Dude asked me to go see lone survivor a couple weeks back. I responded with I’m not sitting through that mess. Find someone else. He finally grew a pair and TRIED to flip the script. He asked if there was anything I wanted to see. I mentioned a Portuguese film I planned on seeing. Told him he was welcome to come along. He claims to have a dental appointment. Maybe he does or maybe he’s sick of reading subtitles or maybe he just wanted to feel like he rejected me. I don’t know.

SlimNu

January 31st, 2014
11:32 am

Single – Now i’m waiting on yours ;-)

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
11:34 am

Slim see leggs (LOL) ( she turns me down for everything else, but will let me wash her car) hmmm get in where you fit in (LOL)

SlimNu

January 31st, 2014
11:41 am

Single – Sounds like you’re well on your way to make a great flunkie hehehehehehe…I mean, be the best of whatever you can be right? :-D

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
11:48 am

Slim I believe in being the best at what ever I set out to be (LOL)

2CPTG©

January 31st, 2014
11:48 am

Leggs, did dude hook up your pipes yesterday?

Exiled

January 31st, 2014
11:50 am

Cel…the chic is playing games so I play games too…

Why u moaning?

:lol:

Now,the real playa will play games with her games, without her realizing that her game has been gamed!

:lol:

DuShawn

January 31st, 2014
12:00 pm

“there was anything I wanted to see. I mentioned a Portuguese film I planned on seeing….”lol …that couldn’t have been me. Ida been like trick please, a “Portugese film” …..with sub titles…Hyall nawww!! That too much f*&kin work reading all that shid. Take your boougie azz own somewhere. I’m bout to go see Ride Along.

disco

January 31st, 2014
12:03 pm

D – he mentioned ride along. I said I would wait for that to hit the dollar movies. I’ll watch it, just not at full price. Not even on someone else’s dime.

Leggs

January 31st, 2014
12:33 pm

disco ~ do you have ever, ever yield to another? No doubt it’s on that particular person to sit through something you like and they don’t, but do you ever do the same? Out of the “flunkies” who abide by you simply to be in your company, do you ever show them that you’re even slightly thankful for the time and money they’ve spent on you by engaging in some boring isht that they like?

“Slim see leggs (LOL) ( she turns me down for everything else, but will let me wash her car)” – Have I missed something.

2C ~ he did. Had to go to Home Depot twice and wound up charging me an additional $40 for two pipes he had to buy. He’s coming back out after work to make sure everything is running smoothly and I will pay him them.

Leggs

January 31st, 2014
12:34 pm

2CPTG©

January 31st, 2014
12:36 pm

do you have ever, ever yield to another?

The $64,000 question……

2CPTG©

January 31st, 2014
12:37 pm

I refuse to believe a chic that bad, to have mu’fuggas akkin a fool like that……but….if you got it like that…..go ‘head on lil mama!!!

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
12:39 pm

Leggs, see you to get my email address

disco

January 31st, 2014
12:44 pm

leggs – I understand the whole compromise theory but no, I do not go to movies that I don’t want to see. Heck, when my kid was little I’d have other people take him to see what he wanted to see. I once sat in the lobby while he watched pokemon. By the same token, I can respect if a person doesn’t want to see what I want to see. I’m just as good (often better) watching it alone anyway. who needs the whispering and asking of questions. I’m here to watch a movie and have found that seeing movies alone is often the better experience. I don’t watch sports. I don’t generally go to games. I don’t think going as a compromise benefits either party. You enjoy it, go do it.

disco

January 31st, 2014
12:45 pm

2C – who’s bad?

2CPTG©

January 31st, 2014
12:48 pm

disco….you gotta be bad…to call shots the way you do (at least that’s what you tell us), and have dudes still go for it…but again, no hate, cause like they say, “it ain’t bragging if you do it!”

Leggs

January 31st, 2014
12:48 pm

Single ~ gotcha (lol).

disco ~ my post wasn’t necessarily geared just toward movies. Just doing something someone else likes because they want you in their company too. They want to experience whatever that outing is with you. But back to movies, quite sure those times they went to foreign movies with you, if you looked at them you would see one eye open, one eye close. I have no doubt some enjoy foreign movies, but I’d bet they went along to be with you. Yes, yes, yes I know, that’s on them. Again, go back to my first sentence in this post.

2CPTG©

January 31st, 2014
12:50 pm

Leggs, if disco had nuts, she’d make one helluva pimp…..ice water running thru her veins…

disco

January 31st, 2014
12:52 pm

leggs – do I ever yield? Depends on the situation. I know the world does not revolve around me but I recognize that my free time and how I spend it is my choice. I choose not to do things that don’t interest me. now I’m not saying I wouldn’t try new things but things that I already know I don’t want to be bothered with I’m not going to be bothered with. Another person choosing to do something that they didn’t want to do is shame on them. I don’t make them and really don’t care if they do or if they don’t. ijs.

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
12:54 pm

Umm 2C she’s single (LOL) IJK disco

2CPTG©

January 31st, 2014
12:54 pm

disco, you ever been in love? had your heart broken?

disco

January 31st, 2014
12:55 pm

leggs – this isn’t just me with guys. this is with friends and family as well.

disco

January 31st, 2014
12:57 pm

Why drag someone along who is clearly not interested? Why go if not interested? i understand wanting to share experiences but if you want it to count it needs to be an experience everybody involved wants to share. How you gone have folks under duress? That’s just wrong. Some people are willing to suffer through things, I’m not. lol.

Single & Happy

January 31st, 2014
1:10 pm

Disco you know how it goes, “if I like it, I don’t understand why you don’t”!!

SlimNu

January 31st, 2014
1:36 pm

My co-worker said, she’s curious to see if there will be a lot of October babies this year, as result of the snow days

Leggs

January 31st, 2014
1:44 pm

“do I ever yield? Depends on the situation. – I’m running with that…cool (lol).

2C ~ guess you don’t remember disco saying she’s been in love, been hurt, dusted herself of and BAM, there she stands now.

“Why go if not interested?” – People do the darndest of things. Again, it’s on them, but many go along simply to be….

SlimNu ~ tell her probably not. Too many partners were left stranded on the road (lol). By the time they got home, warmth, food and sleep was probably on their minds.

SlimNu

January 31st, 2014
1:56 pm

Leggs – Good point….I think it’s supposed to snow next Friday. I only heard that, have not read it or anything though

disco

January 31st, 2014
2:10 pm

leggs – speaking of yielding. I am dead smack in the middle of a yield situation right now. Without going into details it involves a pet peeve I mentioned earlier. Folks bringing their kids along. I don’t generally do kids. just don’t want to be bothered. Now I have a situation involving my very best friend and me having to “yield” to her kid (or possibly put a big hurting on the friendship). Late life babies are mother. Just messing up everybody’s rotation. lol.

SlimNu

January 31st, 2014
2:19 pm

disco – Sounds like a good story…do tell. lolol

Sassy Me

January 31st, 2014
2:23 pm

I think it’s supposed to snow next Friday.

:shock:

Winter storm Maximus…

Lawd…

Sassy Me

January 31st, 2014
2:26 pm

I don’t generally do kids. just don’t want to be bothered.

Me either…let me clarify, I don’t like rude children. Sometimes I want to pinch them…I know..I know
Don’t judge me…

Celisea

January 31st, 2014
2:30 pm

OooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmGGGggggggggggggosh….

Just got off the phone with my manager and got my raise and incentive. VERY close to what I was hoping for…….

Thhhhhaaaaaannnnnnkkkkkkkkkk Yoooouuuuu Loooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrddddddd!

Celisea

January 31st, 2014
2:36 pm

900.00 short of what I jokingly wanted.

Leggs

January 31st, 2014
2:47 pm

So what’s more important, yielding for those hours and tolerating the kid (who you aren’t babysittng just in your zone) or putting a big hurting on the friendship? Come on, go with the flow of the child and chew some gum fat (keep your mouth closed).

Congrats, Celisea. You’ve been talking it into existence and it’s been delivered.

Celisea

January 31st, 2014
2:48 pm

You’ve been talking it into existence and it’s been delivered.

Naaaah, I worked for it. :) :)

Exiled!

January 31st, 2014
2:53 pm

Celisea..u must be a prosperity gospel church person??

..thats ur church persuasion?

Eddie Long,Creflo,them folks?….come to church and god will make it rain type folks?

I Judge and those folks aint church folks..just money lovers!

Love of money is the root of ALL EVIL…..
Eddie and those folk aint in my sin lane…..im popping my collar! :lol:

Spit!

Leggs

January 31st, 2014
2:53 pm

Sure you worked for it, but you also spoke it into existence.

disco

January 31st, 2014
2:58 pm

leggs – we are not talking a few hours. We are talking days. DAYS. Several years ago a friend came to visit me. said friend has 3 kids. my son was still home at the time. she could have easily brought either or both of her older kids (I even urged her to) but noooooo she brought the youngest. The one that I liked he least. The worst one out the bunch. I was like what am I/are we supposed to do with him???? The older ones we could have sent to the mall or movies or whatever. A 4 year old??? Ugh.

disco

January 31st, 2014
3:00 pm

Leggs – and trust. I’d only yield like this for a friend. An acquaintance or someone I’m just cool with? Heck naw. to heck with them and their kids. ijs.

2CPTG©

January 31st, 2014
3:02 pm

some lunchtime ish:

let’s say you and chic are cool….initially when you met, you thought you could have something, but you quickly realize ain’t nothing poppin…..but she has a friend, that lives in the same cul de sac, that’s diggin you; the chic you’re hanging with appears nonchalant about you hollering at her friend…..because it’s mutually agreed, ain’t no love interest…..til she sees y’all….then, the horns come out…..who’s wrong?

Exiled!

January 31st, 2014
3:04 pm

Today is Transfer deadline day,if u follow english premier soccer….untill 11 pm uk time..its crazy and ansty for the fans.

My Liverppol fan forum site is so slow right now and i wanted to post this tweet scoop:

LFCZA @LFCZA
Follow
Deal supposedly announced at 11pm SA time/9pm UK time with #Konoplyanka arriving on Monday to Liverpool. #LFC
2:39 PM – 31 Jan 2014

Celisea

January 31st, 2014
3:05 pm

MMeello – Stop hating :mrgreen: Yeah, God bestowed ABUNDANTLY cause I do what I’m suppose to. I’m not perfect, but I try. I don’t just spew stuff. What I type, and say, and do…I believe it…to my core.

Celisea

January 31st, 2014
3:07 pm

Oh, and MMeello – I don’t believe in “prosperity” preachers. I believe in preachers that preach the word. That says, there’s a heave and a hell. What I do believe though, as the good book says, “seek ye first the kindgom of God and all these things shall be added unto you.”

THAT is what I believe.

I’m gone back to work now. Nuff good news about me!!

Sassy Me

January 31st, 2014
3:08 pm

Question :who’s wrong?

Answer: it’s mutually agreed, ain’t no love interest

I don’t think anybody’s wrong…ole girl is jealous, that’s all…she’ll live.

Leggs

January 31st, 2014
3:11 pm

2C ~ she’s wrong, but that’s how it usually works. She’s not vibing with you until she sees another woman interested. Now, she’s wondering what is it that she sees in you that she didn’t see and wants a chance to take a closer look. Classic….

SlimNu

January 31st, 2014
3:12 pm

2C – Well how much hanging out or whatever occurred between the two way back when? Did anything even remotely intimate happen? How long ago was this?

Leggs

January 31st, 2014
3:14 pm

“God bestowed ABUNDANTLY cause I do what I’m suppose to.” – I thought you said in essence that your supervisor recognized your abilities and compensated you with a nice raise.

kimmie

January 31st, 2014
3:15 pm

2C – Sounds like what could happen with the folks in the topic. But I don’t think anyone is wrong per say, just agree with Sassy that she’s jealous. But she’ll be alright.

Leggs

January 31st, 2014
3:17 pm

SlimNu ~ since he said “they quickly realized ain’t nothing poppin” they simply became hangout buddies with no expectations, no sexual tension, etc. Now someone else is craning their neck to get his attention and she now pops to attention. Don’t want him until someone else wants him.

SlimNu

January 31st, 2014
3:18 pm

Yeah, that’s how it goes. You don’t want something but as soon as someone else starts eye-balling that ’something’ now you feel some kinda way. lol

2CPTG©

January 31st, 2014
3:18 pm

this was within the past few weeks, but she saw us today….and I promise, NOTHING happened…..even her friend was upfront with her, and was like, thisis the deal, and again she “seemed” fine with the whole thing, til she saw us…..then came the mean muggs

Leggs

January 31st, 2014
3:21 pm

2C ~ when you say “quickly realized ain’t nothing popping” was it something you two discussed? Did you assume she wasn’t interested because she ignored your advances or slick way of talking? Did she realize you were hitting on her?

Or were you both silent on your feelings since no one made a blatant pass at the other? She liked you all the while but you shut her down some how??? Hell, anything is possible, but probably she wants you now that her friend wants you.

Exiled!

January 31st, 2014
3:22 pm

Question :who’s wrong?

@2C..2 birds for the price of one…..u the winner!

u dont even have to push hard for a 3xsume

kimmie

January 31st, 2014
3:22 pm

It’s weird how someone is not attractive to you until someone else gets with them. It’s like it kind of validates you.

I admit I’ve had to check myself in the past when that has happened – some guy is sweating me that I’m not feeling, only to get a little pang when he gave up on me and I see him with someone else. I say check myself, cause when I really sat down and thought about it, my first reaction was the true reaction – I was not feeling him like that. He deserves to be with someone that really wants him.

SlimNu

January 31st, 2014
3:24 pm

2C – I wouldn’t sweat it….everyone is grown. Ole girl wasn’t feeling you, and her friend let her know what was up. That’s all that needs to be done at this point. It’s not like you smashed her then tried to talk to her friend.

Leggs

January 31st, 2014
3:27 pm

“u dont even have to push hard for a 3xsume” – Why you think that? Two women liking the same guy isn’t necessarily the ingredient to a 3some.

2CPTG©

January 31st, 2014
3:30 pm

no Leggs, no moves were made…..like I said, initially her attraction drew me in, but after conversations, and hanging out with her it was realized that we wouldn’t be compatible…(like disco, I can’t do small kids), plus, some of the things she does were a complete turn-off…but she was a go-getter, and a hustler, so I thought we could be cool in that sense….I mean this past weekend, we made a grip!!!

kimmie

January 31st, 2014
3:31 pm

2C – Are you really feeling the friend?

2CPTG©

January 31st, 2014
3:32 pm

kimmie, yeah, in fact. That’s why I was upfront with her, and told her what was up….I said, “we can’t help how we met….”

kimmie

January 31st, 2014
3:38 pm

2C – You went about it in a stand-up way. Go for it. :wink:

kimmie

January 31st, 2014
3:49 pm

Okay Gang, bout to head out!

Have a nice weekend

Be easy!

Leggs

January 31st, 2014
3:53 pm

2C ~ I say go for it too. You respected your friendship with her and told her what was going on. But now I see, she probably always liked you but her circumstances prevented the two of you from getting together…So yeah, it would sting but she needs to be woman enough and accept those situations you refuse to “yield” on.

Enjoy your weekend, kimmie.

Celisea

January 31st, 2014
4:15 pm

Well lovelies (see how folks act when good stuff happens), I’m heading out soon. Been slammed with work. Working from home provides a presence, but really, I can’t get stuff at home as well as I can, at work. So, I’ve been catching up.

But I just wantchall to have a fantabulous weekend…..like I’m gonna have.

Toodles and be sweet!!

Can you tell I’m still reeling?? Night night!

Leggs

January 31st, 2014
5:17 pm

If the remark is for me, I was giving nothing but praise. Just questioned something that was said because I thought it was akin to what I was saying…nothing more, nothing less.

Leggs

January 31st, 2014
5:17 pm

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