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Whose bank account is bigger?

There are many successful women in Atlanta who purposely hide their success from men they date. Well, I should say the men they meet and begin to date don’t know their coin status. I wonder though, is that really necessary?

Do you think men even have an issue dating a woman with more money, generally? I ask because from what I have seen and heard, men aren’t pick about the finances of their women.

The fact that a woman can financially support herself does not deter a man from pursuit as often as people think. The women with big bank accounts won’t necessarily require men to make the same as they do.

Do you think women having a larger bank account adds a different dynamic to their dating relationships?

Do men believe that a woman with more money should be treated any differently?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

202 comments Add your comment

lee

January 24th, 2014
6:51 am

Good morning,
I have nothing to add… I will wait for the guys to reply.
TGIF

Exiled!

January 24th, 2014
7:03 am

Do men believe……a woman with money should be treated differently?

Well,not necessarily differently but u just spend her money.

If she don’t want to,it’s All good as well…

Who knows bout her money but herself anyway?

So…..no issue here.

Happy cold Friday MIA

I feel sorry for u single ladies…hope u bought urself some electric blankets or some….the ordinary covers won’t cut it in this cold..

Later snoozers! :lol:

YesSheIsCute

January 24th, 2014
7:07 am

Good morning everyone! Persoally, I don’t think it makes a difference. A woman could avoid talking about her bank or lie about it altogether and who would know? It only matters if she makes it matter or you make it matter. Don’t count anyone else’s money. Count your own.

Single and Happy

January 24th, 2014
7:51 am

Hey everyone

Okay who starts off dating talking about their bank accounts unless they’re trying to brag. In all my years of dating, none of my women have known how much I make except one that i worked with me, and I’ve only know how much one makes because she asked me to do her taxes one year. And you’re diffidently not going to know what’s in my bank account. Probably want even know that after marriage. For me it would be a big turn-off to even talk about money.

YesSheIsCute

January 24th, 2014
7:52 am

@SH oh yeah to answer your question about the trip being a date, if I’m using my benefits in lieu of paying it’s still a date :D

Single and Happy

January 24th, 2014
8:00 am

Yes, umm didn’t know that was an option (LOL)

YesSheIsCute

January 24th, 2014
8:02 am

When I say benefits I mean my travel benefits to meet you wherever you are vacationing. I hope you didn’t think anything else… lol

Single and Happy

January 24th, 2014
8:11 am

Yes, you know where my mind went (LOL) I’m torn between Grand Cayman, and Aruba next month, may settle for Fla in March though.

Button

January 24th, 2014
9:11 am

I know a lot of ppl that brag about what they make. If they are banking it you besta believe they announce it all the time. Some are just waiting for a situation to say I make so and so. On the flip side if they are not banking it, it’s known too, always got a hand out, looking for a come up.
Ppl tend to look at where you live and go from there assuming you have money. I’ve been told that since I live such and such a zip code that I must make a lot of money. Countless of times guys have told me this! I tell them I know how to make my money work for me.

Do you think women having a larger bank account adds a different dynamic to their dating relationships? for some it does, she automatically become the shot caller.

Do men believe that a woman with more money should be treated any differently? Some do, some men might think that if she’s balling then she should front most of the bill. Pay for vacations and such. He will have no problem saying “you make more money than I do….” and most women (ahem desparate) will have no problem paying for every darn thing.

good morning!

SlimNu

January 24th, 2014
9:19 am

G’morn all

YesSheIsCute

January 24th, 2014
9:30 am

I really can’t do the solo traveling until my daughter goes back to Germany. Once she goes back, I do plan on hitting Aruba, DR, and Canada. I also plan on maybe doing a road trip to Destin, FL. I heard it was really nice and fun.

Button

January 24th, 2014
9:30 am

Single – go to GC. never been but it’s on my list.

Leggs

January 24th, 2014
9:36 am

Good hawk kicking butt morning. I really have nothing to add except who talks about their bank accounts while dating?

Reio

January 24th, 2014
9:43 am

Morning all!!

It matters to some men. It’s my observation and my opinion, and I know this will bother some people, men especially, but, the tendency for many men, is to not be worth a damn. To be fools. To be stupid fools. If you enter into a relationship and find out that her income in greater? So what? If you are already in a relationship and your incomes are relatively the same? So what? If you are in a relationship with similar incomes and she gets a promotion, or finishes school and lands a higher paying job? So what? A man that’s worth a damn will view it this way. Celebrate her success. Strive to do better yourself. Sadly too many fellas will feel threatened by this and will figure out a way to leave. Or expect her to spend more on him, or, even give him a few bucks on a regular basis. Just another road bump women have to go over, when all most want is a good fella that loves and respects them. It seems for women, there is always something. Always some sh!t.

You make more money? He’s got a problem widdit? His azz wants you to “Lemme hold some’n”?
Tell him to “Roast in hell and take yo mama wit-cha!” You want a man, not a boy. Jus sayin.
I can think of no justification for this behavior. It may not happen as often as we may think, but it happens a lot. And it’s never like this when HE earns more. Hell.

2CPTG©

January 24th, 2014
9:47 am

even if a chic has dough, she still gon’ expect dude to spend his….so her having money is really a non-factor – unless you put a ring on it, then she may give you a stipend….

as far as folks “judging a book by it cover” when looking at zip codes, houses, cars, etc, in trynna determine if a person has money or not…..let’s just say that ain’t always the case…I’ve seen many a cats with nice cribs but ain’t got no furniture, or can’t even pay their heating bill…or cats with these pseudo luxury cars, and the check engine light is on, or they pulling up to the pump puttin $5 worth of reg’la gas in it…..

I live in the hood, and I’m good!!!!

disco

January 24th, 2014
9:48 am

Good morning. Does it matter who makes more? It probably shouldn’t and for some it probably doesn’t but I do think it matters. For me we need to be making money at least in the same family OR he has to be making more. A man making too much less would be a turn off.

At the rate that you see women taking care of men these days I would guess that it doesn’t matter much to them who makes what. I think some men could care less what their women make and I think some men battle their egos knowing they make less. Guess you have to go with your comfort level on this one.

disco

January 24th, 2014
9:52 am

2C – why you go there. I may have mentioned years ago a friend calling herself hooking me up with her cousin. He worked at GE (which was big time – lol), drove a beamer and had a nice little house. he visited my house once and got too comfortable too quick for me. dude took his shoes off without asking if it was okay and that perturbed me. eventually I made it to his house. empty except for a bed, a tv and one of those cheap little leather chair/ottoman sets that you can get at Walmart for $50. I immediately understood why he thought he was going to get comfortable at my place. I told my girl she knew her cousin was fronting.

Button

January 24th, 2014
9:52 am

2C- @ 2nd paragrah, that’s called hood rich! lol

kimmie

January 24th, 2014
9:58 am

‘Sup Gang? Happy Cold Friday Morning!!!

On topic – First of all, it’s TACKY and LOW CLASS to talk about how much money you make. But we all know money can’t buy class. Period point blank. If you are making bank, making what you got work for you, or barely making it, it will all speak for itself. Bank accounts are off limits while we are dating. I believe I’ve spoken plenty of times about my belief in no comingling of finances until marriage.

Having said all that, the lady making more won’t matter unless either or both parties make it matter. If he’s the type of man that handling his, he’s gonna continue to do that whether she works as a bank teller or she’s Oprah.

I think the ladies Wise is referring to, that downplay their wealth, do that as a practical matter. We say it should not matter, but I think we all know to alot of men out there it does. If anything, some tend to make “snap judgements” when they find out someone makes alot of money. They may automatically assume since she is balling like that she’s gonna want to “run things” and call the shots or won’t let a “man be a man” or think if dude isn’t rolling up in a Jag he won’t interest her. They would prefer a man give them a fair shot before judging her. Rich girls need love too! :)

If she’s the type to pay for everything and sponsor a dude, then she’s not hiding her wealth thus not really part of a lively discussion on this topic. We all know those women exist.

kimmie

January 24th, 2014
10:04 am

or cats with these pseudo luxury cars, and the check engine light is on, or they pulling up to the pump puttin $5 worth of reg’la gas in it…..

2C – This had me rolling, but you are so right!!!LOL!!!

disco

January 24th, 2014
10:06 am

Kimmie / 2C – since we on a roll and to be fair. What about those chicks with the fly designer handbags but they have food stamp cards in their wallets. That one kills me.

Reio

January 24th, 2014
10:09 am

Amazing how shallow some people are. Women are guilty of this as well. Acting a certain way cause they know she earns more. More combative. Less likely to compromise. Even put a guy down cause he earns less. Hell, some women will cop the same attitude even if she earns just as much, but not more. One thing is clear, however; In situations where the woman earns more and that’s a problem?, it only becomes a problem if she earns a certain amount. Not a certain amount more, but a certain amount. For example; suppose he earns 29K & she earns 32K, well, that’s not a big difference, but the key here is she earns 32K, not a lot. But, suppose he earns 57K & she makes 65K, well, both are doing ok, still not much of a difference, but, the key here is she earns 65K. She, more than likely has a different outlook on life cause she earns 65K, regardless of what he earns. Jus my opinion.

Single and Happy

January 24th, 2014
10:11 am

Pay for vacations and such. He will have no problem saying “you make more money than I do….” and most women (ahem desperate) will have no problem paying for every darn thing. where they at!!! I need me one of them. (LOL)

Button, my bucket list is to dive every island of the Caribbean, so either one will do.

Yes when is she going back?

Reio, if I’m in a relationship and the income is greater, then I would state how much my limit is now either we work with that, or she pays the difference IE: we’re going on vacation, my budget say we can stay at the Hilton, but she want’s to stay at the Waldorf, I’ll pay what the Hilton would cost me and she comes up with the rest. The same goes for anything else we buy jointly.

disco

January 24th, 2014
10:14 am

reio – Not necessarily that I will belittle a dude because of his earnings. I can respect hard work. Still, the man’s job is essentially to protect and provide and that takes money. if the majority of the money that is protecting us and providing for us is mine, what do I really need him for? may sound harsh but it is what it is. to me, it seems that part of the benefit of marrying (and I say marry because like kimmie says, prior to that money shouldn’t mix) is to be able to relax. If I get married and find I’m stressing more over finances than I was before I married I’ll have to assume I married wrong.

kimmie

January 24th, 2014
10:17 am

Hey Disco – Well, to be even more fair(like I really care about being fair on this thing,lol) how do we know the fly designer bag is “real” and not a knockoff? Plus even if it is real, it’s too easy to get designer bags for at least half the cost these days. I have never paid full price for one.

Just being contrary!lol – I call all that, designer bags carrying food stamps, big house with no furniture, luxury car with a check engine light riding on fumes – MISPLACED PRIORITIES. Trying to keep up with the Jones, when even the Jones are barely making it!lol

disco

January 24th, 2014
10:20 am

Kimmie – granted on the knockoffs. I said it though with particular folks in mind. Chicks that I know are struggling but when they get some money that’s what they do with it. meanwhile they have disconnect notices at home. I see it all the time. chicks just don’t understand priorities. one chick I know is broke all year and at tax time telling me she paid like $300 for some jeans. Really???

2CPTG©

January 24th, 2014
10:23 am

That’s why I love my lil life……..ain’t got no mansion, but it’s mine, dammit!!!!

Sassy Me

January 24th, 2014
10:25 am

Well, I should say the men they meet and begin to date don’t know their coin status. I wonder though, is that really necessary?

I just thought about a certain blogger of olde who used to tell us often how much they made…and we all agreed that that was TMI and unnecessary. Some people brag about their coins to try ti impress others but it doesn’t make them look good…it might set them up as a target for a gold digger( male or female).

I don’t tell guys how much I make b/c it’s none of their business…and it’s tacky. People that start relationships leading with their wallet have to maintain/keep it going in the same fashion…with THEIR wallet.

Man someone must’ve pi.ssed of The Hawk…cause he’s kicking butt first and asking questions later…

kimmie

January 24th, 2014
10:25 am

Reio – Your 10:09 is exactly the point I was making earlier, about why as Diva pointed out, some women hide their wealth. You made a lot of snap judgements in that post.

Disco – Amen to your 10:14. You don’t know how many women I’ve observed that seem to be stressed way more about finances after they married than before. Alot of times it was to dudes you think were doing okay financially too. Average Joe’s that are responsible money managers with practical priorities, not trying to front like they are more than what they are, seem to be better bets, single ladies.

Reio

January 24th, 2014
10:28 am

disco – I hear ya. I feel the same way, actually. When it comes to a man and providing, protecting….
No argument there. Every man should strive to be and do the best they can for themselves. As a younger fella in college, I had homeboys walk up on me wanting a couple of bucks to go to the club.
“Hell, yo azz broke? Wat-cha going to the club fo? Sh!t. Git yo stankin azz up off me, cause I ain’t got a damn thang fo ya.”

Single and Happy

January 24th, 2014
10:29 am

Disco, is that why you don’t want a man with kids :-D

MsAtl

January 24th, 2014
10:29 am

Morning All!

Do you think women having a larger bank account adds a different dynamic to their dating relationships? It should not (assuming he even knows how much money she makes. That is not a dating question). It adds a different dynamic if he is the type of guy just looking for a sponsor.

Do men believe that a woman with more money should be treated any differently?
No, she should not be treated any differently.

Disco- If the purse is Coach, you have to wonder if a male suitor bought it for her or if her child is wearing dollar store clothing. If it is Assistant Coach, then I guess she just wants to look the part…

Reio

January 24th, 2014
10:34 am

Kimmie – My 10:09 was about SOME women & SOME men. Not sure what “snap judgments” You’re referring to.

2CPTG©

January 24th, 2014
10:35 am

I think every gal I’ve dated has made more loot than me……..didn’t bother me in the least;

abc

January 24th, 2014
10:36 am

Of course it makes a difference, a negative one at that. But what can anyone do about it in today’s American society? Our culture has kind of messed up that aspect of what works for relationships.

If a relationship progresses into marriage, though, and the man isn’t the sole (or preferably main) provider, you’ll encounter problems with it. Again though, how to circumvent that in modern society? For a lot of people, it’s impossible to avoid.

disco

January 24th, 2014
10:36 am

single – that’s part of why. The finances involved with them, dealing with their mommas, visitation and I’m just not that kid-friendly. In general I don’t want to be bothered with kids.

atl – I’m all for fake it till you make it but some folks just don’t get it. I’m all for rocking a gift. just about every designer bag I own was a gift. All except for one. I generally don’t spend my money there. I’m ann taylor down today (not that I jock ann taylor like that) but it all came from the second hand store. No shame in my game.

kimmie

January 24th, 2014
10:36 am

Assistant Coach

LOL!!!

abc

January 24th, 2014
10:40 am

Actually, I meant to juxtapose those: it should read main (or preferably sole) provider.

kimmie

January 24th, 2014
10:41 am

Reio – I get it was referring to SOME. Those snap judgements SOME make, or assumptions, when they find out a lady makes more you spoke of include “less likely to compromise”, “more combative”, “put down a dude cause he makes less”, “cop an attitude”.

I was pointing out the things you said are an example of why some women downplay their wealth and achievements. Not putting you down personally.

SlimNu

January 24th, 2014
10:42 am

2C – I know i’ve been out of the box but speaking of mansions, I heard that Rick Ross purchased Evander Holyfields old spot. (not that you care…lol)

Button

January 24th, 2014
10:44 am

I would never talk finances with a date. Heck we’re both working. my thing is this: it’s not how much money that’s coming in it’s how much that’s going out. You can make a boat load of money but if you’re paying child support, alimony, student debt, cc debt and a slew of other bills then you’re house broke.

YesSheIsCute

January 24th, 2014
10:46 am

Please tell me why I was talking to my late best friend’s brother last night, he is living with his people and they haven’t had heat all winter b/c whoever is in charge of the bills decided they wanted that new iPhone. And he’s in DELAWARE!

disco

January 24th, 2014
10:47 am

yes – now that’s almost comical. I wonder if there’s an app that kicks out some heat. lol.

Single and Happy

January 24th, 2014
10:48 am

Yes, how is one person in charge of the bills, and the new iPhone make that much difference? How old is this dude?

Slim, how are you feeling? I never got those address :-X

Reio

January 24th, 2014
10:50 am

Kimmie – Oh, ok. Thanks. That’s another thing, the truth will come out at some point. Don’t know why some women feel the need to hide this. Or downplay their education level….

kimmie

January 24th, 2014
10:51 am

Reio – Also, if folks are copping attitude about 57K versus 65K, thats a joke. Depending on the debt and deductions each has, they make essentially the same. I’m taking the topic today as there is a SIGNIFICANT difference in income, two different ends of the tax bracket spectrum – dude can use a 1040EZ and the lady has to hire a tax accountant to organize her itemizations. 40K versus 400K.

YesSheIsCute

January 24th, 2014
10:54 am

I feel really bad. I was just calling to check up on him since we hadn’t spoken in awhile and I was thinking of my late bestie the other day. I don’t know what the situation is but I just feel bad. I just don’t get what’s going on. I told him I can’t do no heat. I mean low heat ok, But not no heat.

Sassy Me

January 24th, 2014
10:55 am

they haven’t had heat all winter b/c whoever is in charge of the bills decided they wanted that new iPhone. And he’s in DELAWARE!

Talk about misplaced priorities…that’s immature as well. You would let a new toy forego a necessity like heat. And what kind of situation leads to someone “being in charge of the bills”…I don’t understand that. I hope there aren’t any children suffering because of that..especially in Delaware..

Plus if you wait long enough the price on the new iphone will go down, but once again,that’s that “keeping up with the Jones mentality…

Leggs

January 24th, 2014
10:58 am

“…one chick I know is broke all year and at tax time telling me she paid like $300 for some jeans. Really???” – That’s not misplaced priorities, that’s stupidity to the umpth degree.

kimmie

January 24th, 2014
10:59 am

. I hope there aren’t any children suffering because of that..especially in Delaware

Sassy – I hope not too. Children & the elderly.