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Paying for dates

The costs of dating can get expensive so it’s understandable that people are selective about who they date. It makes sense not to sink a bunch of money into dating someone you aren’t truly interested in. One of my guy friends has some kind of system where he limits the amount of money he spends on first and second dates.

Do you think you should go Dutch and pay your own way on dates? Does it help to split the costs so that neither of you feel the pressure to always pay?

I try to at least reach for the check and I fully expect to pay. I think guys appreciate this and usually they insist on paying. I often offer to cover the tip in those cases.

How many dates should you pay for before sharing or splitting the check starts?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

269 comments Add your comment

SlimNu

January 22nd, 2014
2:30 pm

I like the white chocolate covered strawberries better than the regular chocolate….So anyone want to send me a box of Sherries Berries, let me know so I can give you the address lol

kimmie

January 22nd, 2014
2:30 pm

I dated this guy once whose favorite “holiday” was Valentines day! We would always go to get a nice meal & dessert. And yes, much chocolate candy!

Single & Happy

January 22nd, 2014
2:32 pm

Valentines day, BAH HUMBUG

Pssst slim what’s that address :-D

Leggs

January 22nd, 2014
2:33 pm

Sorry guys (lol). I do not want a box of candy. Never wanted a box of candy.

disco

January 22nd, 2014
2:35 pm

leggs – you are entitled. I’m all for anything practical. As far as I’m concerned, candy is practical as long as it’s candy that I eat. A brother show up with a bag of butterscotch or some mary janes or something and I might have a problem. lol.

single – you now bah humbugging is my job. Go with the flow. Buy a chick something this valentine’s day.

kimmie

January 22nd, 2014
2:35 pm

Slim/Disco – Chocolate covered strawberries are one of my favorite things in life!LOL!! I used to swear by only the white chocolate ones, but there is something about berries and milk/dark chocolate together that is fantastic as well. Guess that’s the foodie in me!

I actually make some killer ones, if I say so myself. When I was selling cakes, I would do strawberries too, for gifts and parties.

daddy swiss

January 22nd, 2014
2:40 pm

“I like the white chocolate covered strawberries”

Slim — Okay, if you insist, yes you can cover me with strawberries. lol

Single & Happy

January 22nd, 2014
2:40 pm

Disco, I’m trying, waiting on the address (LOL)

disco

January 22nd, 2014
2:41 pm

Slim – I’ll let you (and swiss) have that one since white chocolate has never been my thing. Now (swiss – lol) I suppose I can always get with a little vanilla but white chocolate – nah….

disco

January 22nd, 2014
2:42 pm

Well hell single if it’s like that I can break you off with a P.O. Box. Lol.

Sassy Me

January 22nd, 2014
2:42 pm

no high end gifts on layaway?

Not on layaway…lol

Well…since V-day is on a Friday I’m thinking about doing a lil sumthin, sumthin. Saw some cute lingerie in the mall this past weekend…so who knows.

Leggs

January 22nd, 2014
2:43 pm

disco ~ I wish I could get my hands on those Rum Lifesavers. I don’t think they make them anymore. Butterscotch is good, but I would love some Rum Lifesavers.

disco ~ we are co-chairing the bah humbug committee. I’ve been saying bah humbug to things for years now. Once in a blue moon, I might say “drats.”

Single ~ are you bah humbugging because you need to buy a few gifts to keep your rotation happy (that is if you have a rotation)?

daddy swiss

January 22nd, 2014
2:46 pm

disco — I might be white chocolate on the outside, but if you lick your way to the cream filling, it’s all vanilla. lol

Uh oh, I’ve fallen off the wagon, it appears… lol

Single & Happy

January 22nd, 2014
2:46 pm

Leggs, I don’t do a rotation that require gifts :-D FWB don’t do gifts. When gifts are involved there is no rotation.

disco

January 22nd, 2014
2:49 pm

Sassy – I was also thinking about upping my lingerie game. I’ll be the first to admit that that is something I don’t really check for when single.

Swiss – sorry. I just can’t get past the white chocolate, don’t care what warm velvety goodness is waiting in the center. lol. okay. I’m bout to stop playing now.

DuShawn

January 22nd, 2014
2:49 pm

“Go to the grocery store together, plan your meal and go home and cook, have a drink toasting the two of you, put in a good movie (no porn) ………” Shiiid, that’s a muffuggin regular Wednesday. Sounds good in theory, but won’t work in practice. I mean, my ole lady would settle for that, but that’s not what she would prefer. If you know what I know, you better buy them overpriced azz flowers and have them delivered to her job (so all the manless female co workers can envy). Preparing a meal at home could work, but don’t ask her to help and it must be laid out five star restaurant style. Ideally, you should find a nice, small, intimate spot, off the beaten path with dinner and a band. There are several in the city if you know where to look. Personally, I was never a fan of Valentine’s Day. It’s just another pagan holiday to fatten capitalist pockets. Men always get screwed on Valentine ’s Day (unfortunately, not literally). It pressures you to spend money that you may not have, just to get some azz that you already got.

disco

January 22nd, 2014
2:52 pm

And I’m waiting for the blog gents to all chime in with “amen” and “hallelujah” and “sho you right”……

Leggs

January 22nd, 2014
2:52 pm

FWB don’t do gifts. Then where the heck is the benefit (lol).

SlimNu

January 22nd, 2014
2:54 pm

Leggs – I’m not a big fan of candy but like disco said, it it’s something I do like then i’m all for it. But I enjoy a great touching card with maybe a handwritten something in it by the giver. ;-)

Single – What are you going to write on the attached card for me?

dswiss – :lol: That’s more like an uh-oh oreo since you’d be covered in strawberries. More like berries and creme :oops:

Leggs

January 22nd, 2014
2:54 pm

just to get some azz that you already got. – Cracking up! I feel you.

Guess my post would probably resonate more with those who aren’t living together or married (lol).

DuShawn

January 22nd, 2014
2:55 pm

“FWB don’t do gifts. Then where the heck is the benefit ?…….”on her forehead, running down her cheek, hopefully not in her eye.

Exiled!

January 22nd, 2014
2:57 pm

Disco..doesn’t superbowl come earlier than vday?

What u got planned?

Party at ur crib?

Single & Happy

January 22nd, 2014
2:58 pm

Slim if I told you that, it would spoil some of the surprise,

Leggs, FWB and suga daddy are different, FWB means you’re just having sex. Suga daddy means you’re having sex for a price, gifts included. So the benefit is me :-D

Sassy Me

January 22nd, 2014
2:58 pm

I’ll be the first to admit that that is something I don’t really check for when single.

~disco—Who are you telling?…that was the last thing on my mind when I was solo. Now it’s a different story… I’ve even gotten a few pieces that are his favorite color…

Single & Happy

January 22nd, 2014
2:59 pm

Leggs, that doesn’t even work when your not married or living together. It only works when you’re single and aint got nobody (LOL)

kimmie

January 22nd, 2014
3:00 pm

I was also thinking about upping my lingerie game

disco – I am in the process of doing an underwear overhaul. Just bored with my old stuff and want to upgrade. It’s making a difference in how my clothes look. Also, I am donating the bras to this organization that’s collecting them. They said bras are the most needed yet least donated clothing item.

Leggs

January 22nd, 2014
3:00 pm

DuShawn ~ :lol: :lol: I knew the answer would be along those lines, just wasn’t sure how it would be delivered!

Single ~ I was playing with the “benefit” comment. I’m aware sex is the benefit.

disco

January 22nd, 2014
3:06 pm

D – Let me reflect on benefits. I once had a continuing ed class paid as a benefit. I think the class was $1800. I’ve had weekend getaways as part of the benefit. Not sure of the total expenditure but I recall the hotel rooms being about $300/night plus transportation and all my eating, drinking, shopping and pocket money. You definitely cannot skimp on benefits. ijs.

Ex – I don’t do sports. Not even the superbowl.

DuShawn

January 22nd, 2014
3:06 pm

Actually, last Valentine’s Day wifey sent some balloons and Chocolate Strawberries to my office. The females here were jockin. I felt weird and slightly embarrassed. Really, I didn’t know how feel. It just was strange; everybody that passed my office, stopped, looked and had a comment…..”DuShawn…..somebody loves you” Im thinking: “GTF outta here and mind your business.” I was appreciative of the gesture, but the unsolicited attention was unwanted.

Exiled!

January 22nd, 2014
3:07 pm

Suga daddy means ur pricing ur coochie just like the street hustlers…u just white collar with ur same hustle.

disco

January 22nd, 2014
3:10 pm

Ex – no sugar daddy means some old man needs to stay in his lane. If he chooses not to, well, then shame on him.

DuShawn

January 22nd, 2014
3:10 pm

“You definitely cannot skimp on benefits.” One persons benefits are another person’s investments.
That ROI is inevitable, for most anyway…….you a little different.

Reio

January 22nd, 2014
3:11 pm

The only reason I get my wife stuff on Valentine’s Day is cause she expects it. .Although, any card’s remarks are sincere and heartfelt, but I do it primarily cause she expects it. If they canceled Valentine’s Day, she “wouldn’t git sh!t.”

Leggs

January 22nd, 2014
3:12 pm

Single ~ how the heck is that going to work if you “ain’t got nobody?”

MsAtl

January 22nd, 2014
3:14 pm

Kimmie- We need to get together and do some cakes…

Single & Happy

January 22nd, 2014
3:14 pm

Disco, so you got that FIYA (LOL) that sounds like someone trying to extend the FWB into WFB (LOL)

disco

January 22nd, 2014
3:15 pm

D – I’m a little different? I guess so when it comes to benefits. lol.

Single – before I comment, what’s WFB?

Single & Happy

January 22nd, 2014
3:16 pm

Leggs, I mean that’s the way you think when you aint got nobody, anything for Vday will do. Now it also may work if that treatment happens all the time.

Single & Happy

January 22nd, 2014
3:17 pm

disco Wife with Benefits, you know you got it all now (LOL)

Reio

January 22nd, 2014
3:17 pm

Du – The only time I got something of substance on Valentine’s Day from someone other than my wife was, maybe, nine years ago. My daughter’s got together and sent me some stuff. I was shocked and very very surprised. They never did it before. They never did it again. What got into them nine years ago? I don’t know.

disco

January 22nd, 2014
3:20 pm

Single – okay. I’m working on that. I think I mentioned a friend whose resolution was to have a man by September. I’ve decided to one up her and joked that I’d be engaged by year end. Now, granted I don’t really really see that happening but nothing wrong with a little friendly competition (and wishful thinking – lol).

SlimNu

January 22nd, 2014
3:21 pm

Dus – I always wondered sending dudes things like that for holiday’s/birthdays. I figure that most men would feel some kind of way about it, especially something as ’seemingly femine’ as balloons or flowers. But hey, never know what you guys are into. Ya’ll want to feel special too.

Leggs

January 22nd, 2014
3:21 pm

Single ~ naw, that’s not the way you think when you don’t have anyone. That’s the way you think if you’re practical, understand the capitalism of Valentine’s Day and is appreciative of those little heart felt things that don’t necessarily come in a gift box. Anyone who wants “any old thing cuz it’s VDay” doesn’t value themselves and is not paying attention to the meaning behind “any old thing!”

disco

January 22nd, 2014
3:22 pm

On new year’s I sent all of my best friends letters in the mail. They all called me talking about how much they cried. Hint – fellas – go cheap. Write letters. Heck, I’ll write your letters for you for $29.95. lol.

Exiled!

January 22nd, 2014
3:27 pm

Some Old men go the street hustlers as well..
But old men with consistent bread prefer the solo sexentrpeneaur..and she can line other customers as long as she meets her schedule.

The markerting is better….and cash flow is more predictable

@Disco

Single & Happy

January 22nd, 2014
3:29 pm

Just messing with you leggs :-D blog hugg :-D I’m really not into all that commercialism either.

disco

January 22nd, 2014
3:29 pm

Ex – I just watched the mack last night and I still don’t know what you talking about.

Single & Happy

January 22nd, 2014
3:33 pm

I just watched the mack last night and I still don’t know what you talking about. LMAO

Exiled!

January 22nd, 2014
3:33 pm

Because economics and finance is not ur forte.

I am taking bout the economics of prostitution or suga daddying,as u prefer to sanitize it. :lol:

@Disco

kimmie

January 22nd, 2014
3:34 pm

MsAtl – Only thing holding me back is having to work all day & then come home to my other fulltime job(hubs & kids). Before I married, I basically had a side catering business!