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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

About last night redux

I attended a prescreening for the film About Last Night yesterday. The film stars the very hot Michael Ealy and his dreamy eyes, Joy Bryant, Regina Hall, and Kevin Hart. The film is a remake of About Last Night with Demi Moore and Rob Lowe. I am a big fan of to original and I don’t like remakes, so I was skeptical. It was pretty good though! Once I stopped comparing to the original, I was entertained.

The film kind of explores how single people try to have one night stands that actually turn out to be one month stands! Hooking up with no plans to get serious often backfires. This happens a lot and we have no one to blame but ourselves.

What do you think about one night stands? Do you think people still set out to have them intentionally or have we evolved? Are we more cautious about one night stands?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

294 comments Add your comment

YesSheIsCute

January 16th, 2014
8:21 am

Good morning everyone! I don’t know what to think about one night stands. I don’t set out to have them because if it does end up being good I wanna ride that rollercoaster again and again! I’m just saying.

SlimNu

January 16th, 2014
8:40 am

Good morning,

Um…setting out to have a one-night stand sounds crazy. I’ve never had one, so I can say that I don’t set ou to have them. Guess I’ll take a seat and see what unfolds with the rest of you’s today. But I will say, if that is your thing, make sure you’re strapping it up and being careful about where you’re going off with a stranger to. ;-)

Single and Happy "It's the weekend BABY"

January 16th, 2014
8:51 am

Hey all

Now this is really one of those things that depends on the individual, one size doesn’t fit all!!

Single and Happy

January 16th, 2014
8:53 am

It’s the WEEKEND BABY

Hello everyone

One size does not fit all. This is really one of those things that depends on the individual!

The man formerly know as DAN - still...Superior

January 16th, 2014
9:02 am

#BWIM

One night stands only worked if you left shortly after, or while she was sleep. If you saw her in the morning, chances are that oxytocin kicked in.

The only other times I know of included: people leaving the city/state/country the next day (for good), people that were only in town for a night, and drunken encounters where one party woke up like “dizzam! What.did.I.do? I’m never drinking [insert liquor] again.”

SlimNu

January 16th, 2014
9:02 am

Single – So this is your Friday? (I just want to check and make sure you didn’t do like I did last week when I woke up thinking for sure it was Friday but it was only Wednesday lol) :???:

Single and Happy

January 16th, 2014
9:05 am

Slim yep, this is my 3 day weekend :-D I know but it’s not Friday, it’s Thursday (LOL)

SlimNu

January 16th, 2014
9:05 am

Dan – I would think a great scenario would be a one-night stand or a vacation-stand. I know when I went on a cruise some years ago, we met a group of dudes that we ended up hanging out with those few days. I could tell the one guy thought for sure he was going to get one of our goodies. We had ole boy stripping in the cabin thinking it was about to go down, but was only left in his undies and a stiffy. :lol: I know TMI. (boy oh boy, being young has it’s perks)

Celisea

January 16th, 2014
9:07 am

NEVER had a one night stand. Not my thing. When it comes to men and whether or not intentionally set out for, pretty much I’d say yes. When it comes to women, I don’t really believe some women “set out” to do, but I believe some women tend to be more careless. I’m all about in the moment, but “in the moment” does not render you incapable, not to the point of doing something that could change your life forever (i.e. diseases, you met a maniac, pregnancy).

YesSheIsCute

January 16th, 2014
9:08 am

lol @ SlimNu! Now I can do vacation stands. Give me something to remember :lol: That’s about it though.

disco

January 16th, 2014
9:13 am

Good morning y’all. I for one think that the very idea of a one night stand is exciting. Not the I’m out every weekend looking for some joker to screw me one night stand but the I’m a grown woman, I want some, I’m on a mission to find someone desirable to me and I’m going to make it do what it do. If the stars line up just so, I think it can work and be great.

Dan – great point on vacations. I hear that vacation flings can be some hot stuff.

SlimNu

January 16th, 2014
9:19 am

Yes – I hear ya chica ;-)

Reio

January 16th, 2014
9:31 am

Morning all!

Well, I can say, first of all, that I’m not a proponent of one night stands. Seems like today it’s become fairly commonplace. Some people even expect it. Most of those that take a stand against it usually offer the same ole explanations for doing so : “You could get some type of disease, AIDS, suffer reproductive impairments down the road, one of the participants will become attached while the other will not, one of them (men usually) could be a serial killer, somebody could be mentally unstable, one or both could be lying about their marital status”…..

But if you think about for a moment, waiting a while to get to know someone better could actually set you up for the same potential problems I just mentioned. Waiting just prolongs the inevitable. While it’s true that waiting affords one the opportunity and more time to get to know someone better, because some people are so good at hiding and disguising their true selves, one can never be really sure about whom it is you’re sleeping with. Ok, so, you sleep with someone on the first night, all of the above could be true, right? Ok, let’s say you wait a couple months, then sleep with them. All of the above could be true, right? Waiting only affords you more time to find these things out, or, not find them out until after you sleep with them. The fact that they are married could escape you, even after waiting a couple of months, right? It’s always best to wait, for sure, but doing so offers no guarantees. If both are grown and both want to do it, well, who am I to intervene?

Leggs

January 16th, 2014
9:33 am

I certainly do think people intentionally set out to have one night stands. Sometimes both parties know, most times only one knows.

Good morning.

2CPTG©

January 16th, 2014
9:34 am

no one sets out for a one nighter – they just happen….and like disco said, they are/can be exciting…..have I had one? of course, a few……’specially being an athlete/frat in college; it was kinda expected.

disco

January 16th, 2014
9:34 am

reio – my stance in most things is that odds are 50/50. As far as std’s go. One night stand, long term relationship, marriage, same-sex, you name it. at the end of the day, you either get something or you don’t. 50/50. Folks like to try to predict the odds but really you can be a virgin and get something your first time out or you can be a $5 trick and manage to not get burned. It is what it is.

DuShawn

January 16th, 2014
9:35 am

“If the stars line up……” That’s really what it takes to pull off a one night stand in the traditional sense (i.e. meet her and hit her on the same night). Imma smooth operator and a gifted orator, but it was challenging even for me, unless she just dug me and wanted to do me. In those instances, all I had to do was not say something to blow it. It’s worth mentioning however, the lower your standards the greater the likelihood of making a one night stand come to fruition.

YesSheIsCute

January 16th, 2014
9:35 am

Leggs I love your answer to the question. Short, sweet, and shrewd.

disco

January 16th, 2014
9:35 am

2C – I beg to differ. Plenty of folks set out for a one nighter. Get all dressed up, put their smell good on and go on a mission.

disco

January 16th, 2014
9:41 am

I’ll also admit that there were times that I walked away from potential one nighters only to regret or at least wonder what I may have missed out on. Find myself thinking if I had it all to do over again… To stick with my and D’s theory, I’ll just say the stars didn’t line up just right.

Reio

January 16th, 2014
9:41 am

Yeah, guys do it all the time. Gals are becoming more inclined to do it as well.

Celisea

January 16th, 2014
9:42 am

For those folks that “don’t set out”, if you’re open to “anything”, it’s all the same…IMO

Celisea

January 16th, 2014
9:42 am

For those folks that “don’t set out”, if you’re open to “anything”, it’s all the same…IMO

Celisea

January 16th, 2014
9:43 am

Wow…how did that happen….twice? LOL

Leggs

January 16th, 2014
9:45 am

YSIC ~ that was my sentiment! I’m not considering a one-night stand being when you first meet. You can go out a few times thinking something is there, you bounce around between the bed and the floor, next thing you know you’re on the phone trying to get in touch with Casper the Friendly Ghost!

2CPTG©

January 16th, 2014
9:47 am

disco…..those that set out looking for ‘em, are tricking! Because they’re intentionally doing whatever it takes to accomplish the mission….

DuShawn

January 16th, 2014
9:47 am

“put on their smell good and go on a mission…….” Agreed. That was always the ultimate goal when the fellas went out. If you met someone nice and only got her number…..that was like winning second place. It will do, but you still lost. I can remember barely beating the sun home after a wild one nighter, (you never want to wake up with the one night stand) smiling and thinking……”dayum last night was mad trill. I should’ve got baby number.”

disco

January 16th, 2014
9:47 am

reio – I think for guys it’s often more about taking advantage of opportunity though I don’t deny that some guys do actually go on a recruiting mission. I think for chicks it’s primarily a recruiting mission with the occasional dingbat who gets bamboozled thrown in for good measure. Those are the chicks that usually try to justify their actions by using whatever excuse – I was high, I was drunk, I was lonely, he said this, he said that. That’s the chick that isn’t ready to own it.

disco

January 16th, 2014
9:50 am

2C – call it what you must but as the song says “it ain’t tricking if you got it”. still, often for women, the most difficult part of the mission is finding someone you want to be bothered with. Like D already said, for men, the main thing once a chick has you on the line is to not open your mouth and say something to mess things up. you start talking and she might throw your azz back.

2CPTG©

January 16th, 2014
9:54 am

ain’ knockin it disco, cause it is, what it is…..

Reio

January 16th, 2014
9:59 am

disco – I could never even begin to imagine what young fellas are doing these days. My perspective is from experiences, both personal and anecdotal, from years ago. Before cell phones, internet, Twitter….Back then it was all about getting laid. Guys tended to exaggerate their accomplishments a lot. Oh, they rarely sat around talking about specific women, but they wanted to get the word out that they were big time players, and the ladies couldn’t resist them. Lying fuggas.

SlimNu

January 16th, 2014
9:59 am

Who sleeps with someone on the first night of them meeting, to then expect something of substance to come out of it? That in itself, sounds crazy to me.
“hello, we just met…i’m quite buzzed and I wanna see what ya working with.” Next morning, “That was fun last night huh? Felt a crazy connection which I hope wasn’t just the likka talking. But now that we’ve…um…ya know, done the do, where do you see this going? Plus, I’d like to introduce you to my family” :shock:

MsAtl

January 16th, 2014
10:02 am

Morning All!

–/ Taking a seat next to SlimNu to see what unfolds. Yes, I think people still set out to have one night stands. I can’t say we have evolved. Some folks set out to have a one night stand hoping they can turn it into something longer (but then, is it really a one night stand?).

2CPTG©

January 16th, 2014
10:04 am

Slim…..ya never know….but think, both parties are consenting adults….say the coochie was the bomb, and ol girl spent the night…y’all wake up the next morning go another round…next thing you know, it time for brunch….y’all eat, converse, and actually hit it off….who knows where it could go……

disco

January 16th, 2014
10:07 am

2C – I know of marriages that started as one night stands.

Single and Happy

January 16th, 2014
10:08 am

Gals are becoming more inclined to do it as well. (LOL) Dude where you been

50/50 hell we all got to die from something

Single and Happy

January 16th, 2014
10:10 am

Slim, wasn’t it Wanda Smith from V-103 who says that’s what she did with her husband. While it’s not something you man do, it happens.

SlimNu

January 16th, 2014
10:10 am

2C – I’m not saying that relationships never grow from one-nighters. However, I think it’s crazy to look for something serious to come out of a one night stand. If it does, then great but if it doesn’t, keep it moving. That expectation shouldn’t be there is all i’m saying. But what do I know… back to my seat in the 4th row next to MsAtl :-)

disco

January 16th, 2014
10:10 am

single – that’s my thinking. dead is dead. What you die from and how you got it sure doesn’t matter at the end of the day. (unless of course it voids the insurance policy – lol).

MsAtl

January 16th, 2014
10:11 am

Actually, when I first heard Anthony Hamilton’s “Best of Me” I thought he was singing about a one night stand. Whether he was or he wasn’t, that song is hot and fun!

Leggs

January 16th, 2014
10:12 am

SlimNu ~ after “likka talking” you lost me (lol) simply because the rest of your post would certainly be crazy. The first part, I can see that happening. Some relationships develop from a one-night stand. I’ve seen it happen. I think some guy on this blog mentioned his one-night stand turned into a relationship.

O/T: When I stretch my legs out under my desk my radio goes crazy. When I bring them back from under there, the radio plays just fine. Perhaps I have static electricity in my pantyhose.

Celisea

January 16th, 2014
10:15 am

Nothing is foul proof, however jumping in the sack with someone you don’t is simply not smart, not ideal. There’s always a chance something solid can come out of any scenario. The likelyhood of something coming to fruition from carelessness is slim to none. It never pays (most times) to live out there, doing any ole thing. That’s why parents teach consequences….cause the likelihood of you paying the price is there. If “taking a chance” on the shady side is the way to go, we’d all be doing and living like that.

I have a sweet off topic when the topic changes or die.

Leggs

January 16th, 2014
10:17 am

Let me rephrase: Perhaps my pantyhose is attracting static electricity.

DuShawn

January 16th, 2014
10:18 am

”Next morning, “That was fun last night huh?” …….Again….Never wake up with them.
Honestly, I would be extremely hesitant if a star chick invited me back to her home for sex and we just met. Who does that? I won’t trust it……she’s up to something. Now if it’s just a bar fly and she knows I’m holding sack and wants to vibe, I can understand. That’s far more common.

Single and Happy

January 16th, 2014
10:18 am

Leggs why you felt you had to rephrase, (LMAO)

disco

January 16th, 2014
10:20 am

D – who does that? A whole bunch of dingbat chicks. I can’t tell you (well I suppose I can) the number of chicks I’ve lectured about letting these dudes come to their home. Go to their spot, get a room, have a romp in the backseat of his jeep if you must but don’t be bringing jokers home. One chick met a dude at the club on Saturday night and that fool was posted up in her house having Sunday dinner (with her kids!!!) the next day. Smdh.

Celisea

January 16th, 2014
10:22 am

Since Leggs posted her “O/T”, Imma go head :mrgreen: …….

I received a call from my manager yesterday. She wanted to chat about the trip next month. She told me she could only take three people from our team and wanted me to know that she felt I was one of her top associates as well as feeling like I work hard :) She also said she’s gotten nothing but compliments and great feedback on this third portfolio I’m working.

Bonus time is round da cona….I’ma hoping and wishing hard….”cooome on, ten figures”

Just wanted to share how good it feel having folks to care about you and goes so far to tell you so!! Being rewarded for hard work and CARED ABOUT feels super great!! :) My kid, mom, sister, boo are all happy and couldn’t agree more…cause they care about me :mrgreen:

Single and Happy

January 16th, 2014
10:22 am

Disco, don’t do the one night stand and get hit by a truck the next morning, (damn) LOL

SlimNu

January 16th, 2014
10:24 am

Leggs – I was cracking up at the “Perhaps I have static electricity in my panty” I didn’t even get to the ‘hose’ part. :lol:

kimmie

January 16th, 2014
10:26 am

‘Sup Gang?!

MsAtl – I love that song! Fun & sexy!

“lost track of time but, we had a ball”

On topic – Those that go out “planning” to have a ONS or “expecting” something out of it don’t get the essence of the ONS. It’s supposed to be something that is spontaneous. Yes there is an element of danger to it. Like anything else in life, just be prepared and protect yourself. Everyone doesn’t have the stomach for such and that’s fine. I never have, but I cannot judge other grown people. I know what I can handle and what I can’t.

Yes, I have heard of folks that have gone on to have a relationship and even marry after such. They just go with the moment and it works out. I know of a couple like that – a vacation ONS. Met on a cruise. Spent the rest of the cruise together, had a long-distance relationship for a few months after and got married, now have 2 cute kids.

But please, don’t go into such all starry-eyed thinking that’s gonna happen to you. Stuff like that happens every blue moon, but it does happen. More than likely though, your ONS will be just that. Yall bang and go your seperate ways. Put yo big boy/girl drawers on, don’t get clingy and go on about your business if you choose to go down that road. If you can’t hang, admit it and don’t participate in such.