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Solely dating for looks?

This is not breaking news but there are singles who still date people based solely on their looks. It is something that we all do at one point because we are some shallow jerks when we want to be. Admittedly, the physical attraction to your date is very important but we all know it isn’t enough to sustain a real relationship.

When you focus on the looks you tend to overlook the awful personality, the big red flags, or glaringly obvious incompatibility. So why do we still get so distracted by the shallow stuff? How important are looks to you?

I know a lot of women who say they meet a guy and he doesn’t appear all that attractive in the beginning but over time their attraction to him grows. Does that happen for men as well? Do you think dating based on looks is something we should evolve from at some point?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

175 comments Add your comment

Sassy Me

January 10th, 2014
12:38 pm

but if she’s down for riding a man who is known for hitting it raw than more power to her.

That’s what gets me about all of this….he had UNprotected schex with someone else. There’s no telling who else this woman was sleeping with. If they were on a break, I think they should’ve set up parameters/boundaries/deal breakers for said break.

If they do it WITH you, they’ll do it TO you. That’s what has Gabby running around spouting that mea culpa bvll.isht and straight playing herself….karma being the b!*ch she is, came right back around and got that @zz.. She said because she was so busy running from project to project that she wasn’t there for hre man and now she’s saying that their family is now first and formost for her…mighty convenient. They got engaged right before the story hit and all the pieces fell right into place.

Sassy Me

January 10th, 2014
12:39 pm

D is trying to do damage control by proposing, she tried to do damage control by saying it’s her fault.

That’s precisely it in a nutshell…

GlammourGirl

January 10th, 2014
12:42 pm

I think Dwayne said that he had known her for like 10 years or something. One of those blogs showed some previous twitter messages me sent to her from like 3 or so years back. He had probably been having unprotected sex with her for a while.

MsAtl

January 10th, 2014
12:43 pm

Button- I use the wipes. I also clean my hands after touching the meats (some of those packages are nasty and bloody).

Kimmie- I didn’t listen to the show but yesterday I read an article purporting to show that Gabby blamed herself. I didn’t see that anywhere in the article. I did see where she said that because of her schedule she wasn’t as available to him and missed some of the affection and closeness… something like that. If she said it was her fault, then I don’t even know what to say about that. I’ll be derned if I take responsibility for you sticking your thing in someone else unless I guided you into it with my own hands!

Button

January 10th, 2014
12:51 pm

I wonder what Gabby think is the reason D cheated on his first wife?

Sassy Me

January 10th, 2014
12:54 pm

I’ll be derned if I take responsibility for you sticking your thing in someone else unless I guided you into it with my own hands!

That’s a good point..the visual made me laugh but the point is made all the same.

Button

January 10th, 2014
12:58 pm

MsAtl – I have to remind myself to keep plastic gloves handy when I go grocery shopping. I alsways keep a good supply handy when cooking(I don’t like touching raw/dead meat with my bare hands). I really need to make up my mind and get serious about becoming vegan so I can stop dealing with meat/animal products all together.

MsAtl

January 10th, 2014
1:10 pm

Button- When I go grocery shopping, I almost feel like I am giving the cart a bath. I wipe the handle. Then I wipe the sides and front because how many times have you grabbed the cart from the front to pull it? I also wipe the seat because we have a habit of putting eggs and veggies in there and I am mindful of the last thing that has been in there- baby a$$!

Leggs

January 10th, 2014
1:14 pm

“…I think they should’ve set up parameters/boundaries/deal breakers for said break.” – I said the same thing. Perhaps even draw up a freaking contract and seal it with a seal of wax only to be opened when some crazy stuff jumps off.

What she did to get him is going to be the same way she loses him. Someone prettier and sexier than her will come along and charm him like she did because apparently his nose is constantly sniffing around for some nu nu.

O/T: 107.5 is playing this bit over where this guy called in saying he was the maintenance man for many women while their husbands was overseas fighting. When he finally got married, his wife went on a business trip for 2 days and he couldn’t stand it and had to get him “some” from someone. WTH is wrong that a man can’t go even two days. I’m sure not all men, but that fact that there is even one is disgusting!

Sassy Me

January 10th, 2014
1:14 pm

I also clean my hands after touching the meats (some of those packages are nasty and bloody).

True…I know certain Kroger/Walmart stores have sanitizing wipes next to the carts. I keep plenty of napkins in case,though…

Sassy Me

January 10th, 2014
1:19 pm

WTH is wrong that a man can’t go even two days.

That’s a total lack of self control, no respect for your vows,no respect for your wife and just being selfish.

What would really kill him is if he found out his wife was gettin her a lil sumthin’ sumthin’ on the side while she was out of town. :mrgreen: Ain’t no fun when the rabbit got the gun.

For some reason I could hear the late, great Johnny Taylor singing, “Who’s making love to your old lady…while you’ve been out making love

kimmie

January 10th, 2014
1:21 pm

Leggs – I heard the 2-day dude yesterday. Sounds like Dwade might be just like him!lol

They were taking this poll asking men if they were deployed for a year and found out during that time their wife cheated would they forgive her. Most said they would not.

kimmie

January 10th, 2014
1:26 pm

All I can say is I would hate to have a man that could not control himself like that or whose sexual appetite was so off the meter and different from mine……

I just could not deal. We would have to break up. I’m just not the one.

Exiled!

January 10th, 2014
1:27 pm

WTH…a man can’t do two days?

Or maybe Gabby is giving Wade a pass because she has a guilty conscience herself?
Project to project my a$$&se!

Sassy Me

January 10th, 2014
1:30 pm

Most said they would not.

That’s a typical male answer…but that doesn’t mean that if/while they were deployed that they wouldn’t try to get some. Double standards…

What if the shoe were on the other foot and their wives were deployed…would they remain faithful for a year until she got back?…would they expect her to be faithful while she was deployed? I guess it’d go the same way regardless of which spouse was deployed.

I’ve read that the extra-marital activities in deployed camps is through the roof…

Leggs

January 10th, 2014
1:31 pm

“That’s a total lack of self control, no respect for your vows,no respect for your wife and just being selfish.” – In a nutshell, pure d selfish.

Kimmie ~ yeah that was a repeat from Wednesday night..that’s when I heard it. Shameful to even get on the radio and say that garbage, acting like he’s BMOC or something (big man on campus!)

MsAtl

January 10th, 2014
1:31 pm

Exiled- Hmmm, could be. We don’t know the whole story and I’ve heard different accounts but from what I’ve read, he cheated on his wife with her. Of course, the story they tell is that his marriage was over.
Then again, Fantasia said the same thing and her child’s father is mysteriously back with his wife.

I am waiting on Alicia Keys…

kimmie

January 10th, 2014
1:33 pm

I’ve read that the extra-marital activities in deployed camps is through the roof…

Sassy – I’ve heard the same. Some say it starts going down the minute the spouse takes off in the plane!

MsAtl

January 10th, 2014
1:36 pm

Sassy/Kimmie- While I was in Germany, there was one soldier who got a zero due paycheck. Apparently, he was busy spreading seeds every time he was deployed and several child support cases hit at once. They took his whole darn check and his wife had to support them and their 2 kids.

Another guy deployed, leaving a fiancé in the states. Then he came home divorced his wife and married someone he met while deployed. Yes, you read it right! He had been with his fiancé for over 2 years and she did not know he was married because the wife didn’t want to uproot the kids and travel with him.

Leggs

January 10th, 2014
1:37 pm

MsAtl ~ Alicia Keys may be a longer wait because he had a lot of tax issues he needed to clear up and her bank account is a lot bigger than his. I’m with you tho, the verdict is still out for me on that one.

kimmie

January 10th, 2014
1:42 pm

MsAtl – That whole military wife lifestyle is hard and one I am glad the Lord spared me from!!

Speaking of Alicia Keys, I read on Essence.com yesterday that Shamar Moore tried to get with her 10 years ago and she shot him down. He said he came at her like “Hey I don’t know what your man situation is, but if you are available I would love to take you out sometime.” She said something to the effect that “she appreciated the invitation, but that her man situation was just fine”. :shock:

Button

January 10th, 2014
1:47 pm

“Hey I don’t know what your man situation is, but if you are available I would love to take you out sometime.”—LAME!!!

kimmie

January 10th, 2014
1:51 pm

Durty Burd

January 10th, 2014
1:57 pm

I”m going to go with Team Disco on regarding D-Wade and Gabby….They were not married or engaged, just dating! They just now have to deal with the responsibility of the child.

I am not sure why anyone who has enlisted at an early age gets married, not a good idea. The married wives that are left on the base get down with the other soldiers all the time.

Leggs

January 10th, 2014
1:58 pm

WOW, that’s a humdinger, MsAtl!

Sassy Me

January 10th, 2014
2:00 pm

They took his whole darn check and his wife had to support them and their 2 kids.

:shock:

Where they do that at?!?!

Support the two of them…I ain’t supporting jack!! So HIS shenanigans are affecting BOTH their quality of life…AND she stayed after he’s had several children…oh hell naw..

Leggs

January 10th, 2014
2:01 pm

“Hey I don’t know what your man situation is, but if you are available I would love to take you out sometime” – more than lame. He’s telling her no matter what it is he wants to take her out. Why not just ask if she’s seeing someone? Because he didn’t care. He probably thought his non-dancing, wiggling hips self could pull merely by his pretty face and nice white teef.

Leggs

January 10th, 2014
2:05 pm

I am not sure why anyone who has enlisted at an early age gets married, = military benefits!

Exiled!

January 10th, 2014
2:06 pm

Alicia did that wife derty..there is no denying that one. Dude was still in a marriage and Alicia took advantage when they were producing her music.

That was real ho derty that!

As a man I have more respect for a man who skeets but keeps his family than the one who leaves wife and kids to marry the h o! :lol:

@MsAtl.I’m sure we agree? :lol:

Single and Happy

January 10th, 2014
2:11 pm

MsAtl, I know a few guys I work with that happened too. Can’t hide from child support

Durty the military is just a working welfare, the more dependents you get the more benefits you get! You can get married as an E1 and get base housing or assistance, but as a single person you have to be E5 before you can get any assistance. And don’t get me started on the children.

kimmie

January 10th, 2014
2:14 pm

I was at a listening party and I was hosting Soul Train. I fell in love with her eyes,” said Moore. “She played the piano and she had the cornrows, the voice. I was like she is the business. So I went up to her and I got it together and I said, ‘I don’t know what your man situation is like but when you’re not working I’d love to take you out some time.’”

And to his surprise, Keys wasn’t interested. “And she basically looked at me and she went, ‘Look here son. I respect your flirt game. But my man situation is handled.’ And that is a true story,’” said Moore.

Despite getting the cold shoulder, Moore still loves and praises Keys’ talents. But he admits to being jealous of Swizz Beatz.

DuShawn

January 10th, 2014
2:14 pm

“So HIS shenanigans are affecting BOTH their quality of life” I spoke on this the other day and most didn’t get it.

Durty Burd

January 10th, 2014
2:14 pm

Tell them daughters M-benefits are not enough for the potential heartache you may receive.

Exiled..What did you direct your comment at MsAtl?

Ladies of the blog….I’m not sure of of your man situation, but if you are available I would luv to take you out! hehehehehehehe! SOUL TRAIN

Sassy Me

January 10th, 2014
2:17 pm

the military is just a working welfare, the more dependents you get the more benefits you get!

Working welfare for real…one of my cousins was in the Army Reserve and did ONE year active duty in Iraq…homegirl came back and whatever scam/sob story/trickery she did worked because she is 100% disabled and gets around 5k a month….for the rest of her days. She did ONE YEAR of active duty and is being cared for for LIFE…

Just saw her last month and she’s living the life..

Sassy Me

January 10th, 2014
2:18 pm

No thanks…hehehehehe

Single and Happy

January 10th, 2014
2:19 pm

Durty The married wives that are left on the base get down with the other soldiers all the time. Most of the time the military guys steer clear of the military wives, got to much to loose (you can face court martial for adultery.) They usually have some local D hanging around.

Celisea

January 10th, 2014
2:22 pm

Off topic: I’m just ill. Went downstairs to get a sandwich and to my dismay a ROACH is crawling around the sandwich station :shock: Got my dern head hurting cause I’m hungry!!! I know a lot of folks this building and I was telling EVERYBODY in front of the staff, that came in the cafe. I sent for the head huncho, but she sent the manager out. He was uttering and but-erring and stuttering. Then said my lunch was on him. Naw dude, give me something packaged as in a bag of chips and a soda.

Just uuuuuggggghhhhh, got a mind to call the health inspector.

Single and Happy

January 10th, 2014
2:22 pm

Sassy, it’s gotten really bad now, All they have to do is claim PTSD. While I know it’s true for some, there are a lot that have just found and easy check.

Sassy Me

January 10th, 2014
2:28 pm

there are a lot that have just found and easy check.

I know…that same cousing has a sister who’s milking disability from a different angle. She’s always had back problems as a child and as an adult she was in a car accident…well she parlayed the back trouble she’s always had with the accident and fanagled 100% disability,too. She said she wasn’t ever going to work again and she’s not. Her sister is 41 and she’s in her late 30s and both are 100% disabled and collecting nice checks.

Exiled!

January 10th, 2014
2:28 pm

Lol..Celisea..how long have u been eating that Roached food?

Years? :lol:

Reio

January 10th, 2014
2:29 pm

Celisea – Cockroaches got a lot of protein in’em. And they’re cleaner than you think.

Leggs

January 10th, 2014
2:32 pm

Celisea ~ may be the first time you’ve seen a roach there, but bet they’ve been there for some time. Where there’s one, there’s an entire family sleeping in the back somewhere or in the walls.

Celisea

January 10th, 2014
2:36 pm

MMello – I just burst out laughing at your post

Reio – My coworker said the same thing….LOLOLOL

Leggs – Sho nuff. And that’s what I was thinking. When you can’t control your critters in front of guests and patrons, then they’re in the back tap dancing….

Celisea

January 10th, 2014
2:36 pm

MMeello – Been in this building since 98, ain’t no telling what I don consumed…uuuuughhh

I have a serious headache now. I’on play bout food. I have to eat or I get headaches

Leggs

January 10th, 2014
2:38 pm

“…there are a lot that have just found and easy check.” – I have a cousin, play cousin at that, who is a master at pretending injuries and having the state pay for whatever. 911 I’m ashamed to say she racked up. She is sick and has been for quite some time but I don’t think it’s from 911 dust. Like the scam that’s presently being uncovered of the NYPD and firefighters lying of disorders, inability to walk, lung issues, etc. all the while living in mansions and high on the hog, going boating, fishing, playing bball. I think of her concocting stories like they did. In the long run, I think she’s physically paying the price now for all her lies.

Leggs

January 10th, 2014
2:43 pm

“I have to eat or I get headaches” – Your headaches sound like my stomach aches.

Reio

January 10th, 2014
2:44 pm

Celisea – To be fair to your co-workers, you might want to double check to be sure you didn’t brang that roach with you. Everybody knows what kind of house you keep.

DuShawn

January 10th, 2014
2:57 pm

Off topic, this morning my 10 year old daughter came to me crying, snotty nose, breathing erratically. Talkin about she wasn’t going to school today because she has an exam she was not prepared for and she’s also participating in a spelling bee. She didn’t know the words to her satisfaction and was upset because she was about to “embarrass herself in front of the whole school”. She’s a straight “A” student and puts a lot pressure on herself to excel. She was so upset you would think the world was about to end. She begged me to let her stay home. I explained if I allowed her to hide from challenges, I would be doing her a disservice. I told her how special she was and made her take out her new I phone and google the poem “See It Through” by Edgar Albert Guest. I asked her to read it aloud a few times in the car, made her stop crying and take out the spelling bee words, quizzed her (there were nearly 100 words, she got the 50 I asked her right), then told her to re-read the chapter her exam was on. By the time we arrived at school she was calm and confident. Before she left, I reminded her who she is and whose she is. I told her “don’t forget about your secret weapon…….prayer. Say a quick prayer before you take the test and another one before you go on stage for the spelling bee. Do thy duty that is best, leave unto the lord the rest. By 2:30 it will all be over.” She laughed and told me to have a blessed day. She gets off the bus at 3:00. I can’t wait to call her and see how it went. I’m the greatest muffugin Daddy in the world.

Sassy Me

January 10th, 2014
2:57 pm

Leggs

January 10th, 2014
3:04 pm

I must say, DuShawn, you handled that beautifully. {clap, clap, clapping}

SassyMe ~ you ready (lol)?