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Solely dating for looks?

This is not breaking news but there are singles who still date people based solely on their looks. It is something that we all do at one point because we are some shallow jerks when we want to be. Admittedly, the physical attraction to your date is very important but we all know it isn’t enough to sustain a real relationship.

When you focus on the looks you tend to overlook the awful personality, the big red flags, or glaringly obvious incompatibility. So why do we still get so distracted by the shallow stuff? How important are looks to you?

I know a lot of women who say they meet a guy and he doesn’t appear all that attractive in the beginning but over time their attraction to him grows. Does that happen for men as well? Do you think dating based on looks is something we should evolve from at some point?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

175 comments Add your comment

lee

January 10th, 2014
6:41 am

Everyone should keep in mind that everyone will get old, it only takes a moment from someone looking hot to not though disease, accident, weight gain or just time marching across your body. Then again:

We live in glorious times now you can have plastic surgery i know some that in high school they did not look that good and now are looking fabulous but still time will undo what was done, you can keep going back like Joan Rivers and look like a strange alien that will never have a facial expression. haha
I say find someone to hold your hand though all times the good the bad and the ugly, because in the end all that will matter does this person have my back!
TGIF

Single and Happy

January 10th, 2014
7:08 am

Hey everyone

When you focus on the looks you tend to overlook the awful personality, the big red flags, or glaringly obvious incompatibility Yes they have to look good to me, but never been so shallow to go solely on looks! Always pay attention to the person, and get to know them!

Also looks are relative to the person, just because they look good to you doesn’t mean they are going to look good to everyone.

Button

January 10th, 2014
8:22 am

I date solely on the size of his bank account! j/k

I date based on a lot of factors and if he’s handsome that does help but it’s not the main factor. His personality along with his manners, his sense of humor, intelligence. There are others but it’s minimal for just a date.

Do you think dating based on looks is something we should evolve from at some point? I don’t think that will ever happen bc looks are the driving force to even being noticed or being ignored.

Single – looks are relative to the person, just because they look good to you doesn’t mean they are going to look good to everyone. I couldn’t agree more.

Good morning!

Exiled!

January 10th, 2014
8:50 am

‘Singles who still date people solely on their looks…’

‘Still’..as dating is some evolving with time, cultural phenomena..lol

Dating is same today as it was 2000 years ago.

If anybody tells you they solely dating somebody based on that they are lying to you.

The looks is what gets you to look and salivate….the actions(even in ummm bed),will make a woman or man determine the nature of the relationship.
Diva!?,a round butt and eager chest alone on a woman won’t cut for a man solely because it looks….tantalizing…if the feel is good…we can do some bizzness.

When the looks and the human element are in sync,then we got a winner!
Nobody sustains a relationship on looks solely….it’s a lie,even if somebody said to you.
Maybe they’re shy to tell you that he got a good beating stick!(actions? anyone?) :lol:

Howdee MIA!

Exiled!

January 10th, 2014
8:51 am

MsAtl

January 10th, 2014
9:01 am

Morning All!

While looks are what first attract you to someone, at some point you look at the personality instead of how the person looks. To me, looks are less important than honesty, integrity, manners, employment, etc. While I don’t want a Quasimodo, I also will not have Shemar Moore sitting on my couch eating up all of my food and not working.

Reio

January 10th, 2014
9:02 am

Morning all!

Just based on my observations, men in general, and younger women, are more prone to doing this. The older the woman is, the more likely she is to fixate less on looks. Men tend to do this regardless of age. The more mature “real men” tend to understand that looks can be, and often are, deceiving.

I have always been, well, I don’t really know how to say this, I guess, what you would call, well, the striking, suave, debonair, stunning, desirable, sexy, unforgettable, lovable, handsome, cunning,…
type fella. I’m still having to beat’em off with sticks and bats. So, it’s still a big thing with women. Hehehe..

MsAtl

January 10th, 2014
9:10 am

Reio- I see you are cutting up early this morning, huh? Lol. Give us time to finish our coffee…

Reio

January 10th, 2014
9:11 am

Father Time & Mother Nature will combine to destroy all of our good looks. Although I had a meeting with them years ago, and they both agreed to let me slide. The rest’a yall gon git hit. Hit hard too..

Button

January 10th, 2014
9:17 am

It’s always going to be about looks imo. You don’t see ppl chasing ugmo unless he has lots of money. Society is hung up on looks and we can’t get around it no matter how hard we try to down play it imo.

Button

January 10th, 2014
9:17 am

MsAtl – shemar moore is not handsome, not a looker to me.

Button

January 10th, 2014
9:21 am

Reio – c’mon now every man think they are striking, suave, debonair, stunning, desirable, sexy, unforgettable, lovable, handsome, cunning,…lol

Single and Happy

January 10th, 2014
9:26 am

Button, that’s the thing about it, let “society” keep doing what they do, doesn’t mean we have to go along with it.

“Although I had a meeting with them years ago, and they both agreed to let me slide.” Now these are usually the ones hit the hardest, they just can’t see it (LOL)

Reio

January 10th, 2014
9:27 am

“c’mon now every man think they are striking,….”

Yes, but the difference is, I KNOW I am. Been told by at least 6.2 million women around the globe, in the form of cards and letters, greetings….

Mark

January 10th, 2014
9:38 am

Exiled, dating today is very different from what it was 2,000 years ago. There are way too many “middle men” these days – too many dating services, relationship “experts”, etc. profiting from giving “advice”. In reality, that serves to do nothing but over-complicate matters (a case of too many cooks spoilng the broth). Just sayin’… :-)

Button

January 10th, 2014
9:39 am

Single – we don’t have to but a bunch does go along with it. Some ppl have gotten out of traffic tickets bc of looks, get a pass bc of looks, get dates bc, of looks and the list goes on and on bc of looks. Good looks trumps a bunch of things.

Reio – bawhahahahahaha yous a fool! I almost fell outta my chair dude!

Single and Happy

January 10th, 2014
9:52 am

Mark, match making, and match makers didn’t just start, it’s been around since dating has been around.

Button you’re right,

Reio

January 10th, 2014
9:54 am

Harvard business school has done a number of studies on this subject over the years. And as one would guess, the better people think you look, the smoother transition you are afforded into the workforce, and pay raises/promotions come with greater frequency as well, regardless of qualifications.

kimmie

January 10th, 2014
9:59 am

I say find someone to hold your hand though all times the good the bad and the ugly, because in the end all that will matter does this person have my back!

This is what it’s all about right here^^^^

Yes, looks are what initially attract you, lets be real. Nobody is going out of their way seeking out folks they find unattractive. The great thing is like Single said, what’s unattractive to you might be considered beautiful to someone else. There is someone for everyone.

Say you do pick a person mostly on their looks and let other things slide. Fine, but it won’t last long. You may have fun with this person for awhile and enjoy the attention, but it WILL get old. Other, more important factors for the long haul will still win out in the end. Just depends on what you are looking for and how much time and resources you have to waste.

Society is and will always be driven by looks to a certain point. Looks are used to sell things and drive business – from the model selling clothes and makeup to the bank teller selling banking services. That’s just how it is.

Good morning Gang!

Button

January 10th, 2014
10:00 am

I worked in sales and you best believe there were very few unattractive sales ppl, no overweight, all were slim, fit and attractive. The unattractive ones got the $hitty accounts.

Single and Happy

January 10th, 2014
10:09 am

Reio, you forgot con-men and women!

Leggs

January 10th, 2014
10:10 am

Never was one who dated solely on looks. Of course, he needs to be visually pleasing to MY eyes, but personality, chemistry, character, how we vibe is more important and that in itself makes one even more attractive. What I don’t want is to have my eyes hurting each time I look at you. I’m not looking for drop dead handsome just one that makes my eyes twinkle and my heart sing a heart song when I see you!

Good morning!

Reio

January 10th, 2014
10:15 am

Ya know, a lot of guys will swear that they don’t go by looks. But those same fellas will quickly tell you that they prefer women with big butts. Or large breasts.

That’s another thing. Maybe I’m in the minority of men, but I have never been able to fully understand this absolutely preposterous, foolhardy, totally infantile fascination, some men have with bosoms. It’s incredible to me. Basing their opinion on whether a woman is attractive or not on her brazier size.
Da hell?

Celisea

January 10th, 2014
10:16 am

I like a man of character…with a hint of handsome. Never dated solely for looks and never had an issue. I don’t like pretty men…never have. I’ve dated a few here and there, but nothing that I targeted. I have a type that I like, but “looks” ain’t at the top of that look. Even so, I’ve never set out to find a certain complexion or build (just don’t like fattys…sorry…lol…I don’t). For every man I’ve dated, they approached me. Some I gave signal, some made their move, but I’m not narrow minded. I like who likes me :)

Single and Happy

January 10th, 2014
10:17 am

Reio, when we go by breast size, we are not going by looks! Cause we aint looking at her face (LOL)

Celisea

January 10th, 2014
10:18 am

And please miss me with the mentality of folks letting stuff slide cause they’re hawt. Ummm, everyone here should be good and grown and done with such foolishness. Heck naw!!

Celisea

January 10th, 2014
10:19 am

I like a nice build, clean cut, chisled. Just had a coworker from another floor leave my desk from chatting. While he’s NOT my type, he’s got beautiful teeth.

kimmie

January 10th, 2014
10:22 am

beautiful teeth.

Loves me some nice teeth!

Celisea

January 10th, 2014
10:23 am

When I go with the “good looking” white guy to a client of ours in particular, our biggest client (portfolio wise, not company wise), those ladies have a fit. Eeeeverybody wants to go with us to lunch. I usually have a couple in mind that I may want to invite as well as other team members (here), but when we get there, the whole staff tryna go. Then everybody wants to chat and go on with him. He’s blushing, turning red or getting embarrassed the entire visit. And usually we have short meeting before heading out…he’s got everybody’s undivided attention. Yeah, I’m observing thangs….lololol

kimmie

January 10th, 2014
10:24 am

Reio/Single – What I see with men alot is they may go for a hot body or body part like big boobs or butt, but she won’t be that attractive in the face. I think they are going for sex appeal.

Celisea

January 10th, 2014
10:24 am

Silky had a beautiful beautiful smiled/teeth/mouth….looooved kissing him

Celisea

January 10th, 2014
10:24 am

And sex appeal versus looks wins, hands down

Celisea

January 10th, 2014
10:26 am

smile, not smiled….arrrum, ahem…lolol

2CPTG©

January 10th, 2014
10:28 am

lemme gon’ head and be the honest one…

naw, folks ain’t gon’ stop dating, or picking their dates based solely on looks….humans are visual creatures…..so you can have the best personality in the world, but if you’re ugly, ye’en gon get a chance to show off that glowing personality…..

and I’on mind gettin ugly if i’m boo’d up prior to the ugly setting in…..

Leggs

January 10th, 2014
10:29 am

Nothing like beautiful teeth!

Button

January 10th, 2014
10:31 am

Celisea – well you better catch up honey bc looks or being hawt have gotten a lot of ppl out of things and have gotten them things (preferential treatment). Regardless of how we feel about it, it happens every day. If you look good and you know it you flaunt it.

Reio – good thing not all men are into a big ol booty. I think it’s a black thing though.

Celisea

January 10th, 2014
10:35 am

Button – I’m not behind… Honestly all that preferential treatment based on “light skin and long hair” went out with the seventies. It pays now to be chocolatte :mrgreen: Things move and work well for me. I work around all white dudes, “black” is good. If you get what I’m saying.

kimmie

January 10th, 2014
10:36 am

humans are visual creatures…..so you can have the best personality in the world, but if you’re ugly, ye’en gon get a chance to show off that glowing personality…..

2C – Sad but true! That’s just the way it is.

Reio

January 10th, 2014
10:39 am

Kimmie – Glad you mentioned “sex appeal”, cause that’s what I was trying to relay. Which is also why I’ll say this; As far as teeth goes, to most men, they aint SH!T, unless some are missing, gapped, or mis-spaced… her overall physical appearance, especially from the neck down is what tends to generate the most interest. I’m quite sure that every woman on this blog has a face at least as beautiful as Beyoncé’s, or, a young Morgan Fairchild’s. But most other women do not. Men know this, so they foolishly fixate on the neck down and derive some manufactured pleasure from that.

Single and Happy

January 10th, 2014
10:39 am

2C you are so right, unless you’re put in a situation to get to know their personality, looks are always the first and deciding factor.

Celisea

January 10th, 2014
10:40 am

There was a time, folks had nearly white looking folks as receptionists and stuff, but not so much now. We’re out and about a lot and from client to coworkers, I see natural looks, plain and bland looks, fit to average to heavy builds, etc. None of that changes a good deal on the table…IJS Not sure where y’all been, that says good deals come from good looks. I’m around brainiacs and frankly, being able to explain and tell a client the business is what seal the deals….around here. I’m around a plethora of folks at work and in the business, and my company makes money. I have yet to see nothing but extremely beautiful people. What I see are good looking/handsome/attractive to average. But honestly by the time folks do the dang thing (suit, hair, smelling good, most are fit), nothing ain’t really been too hard to accomplish.

Single and Happy

January 10th, 2014
10:41 am

good thing not all men are into a big ol booty. I think it’s a black thing though. that’s so racist (LMAO) So I guess breast are white thing.

Button

January 10th, 2014
10:42 am

Celisea – LOL I get what you’re saying, trust I do. I’m just stating the majority here. And trust I know about some chocolate but we can’t ignore the fact the LSLH is what’s in our face in the media. if she is chocolate she has to be gorgeous, they won’t put a dark and unattractive women up there.

Celisea

January 10th, 2014
10:43 am

My manager is young VERY dark and smart. And they love her. She’s average looking, but she’s extremely good at what she does.

Nothing but an ol’ ugly man always talking about good looks….in my experience.

Button

January 10th, 2014
10:43 am

Single – YUP! lol have’nt you noticed they are the ones running in droves to get them fake breasts.

Celisea

January 10th, 2014
10:45 am

Button – See my 10:43…I hear ya as well. But I SEE and experience different than what’s being said. Round here, “diversity” is the theme of the day and as long as you can produce and put out good work, you represent….on the front end. Honestly, in production and operation area do I see all the chicks with the nails and weave and clown outfits. Don’t see that so much where I am. Seriously. Where I am is ubber conservative and professional.

Celisea

January 10th, 2014
10:47 am

“in the production and operation areas” is what I meant.

kimmie

January 10th, 2014
10:48 am

Reio – Yeah, alot of ladies are more into nice teeth than men are.

I also love nice arms and chest on a man. I was checking my hubs out this morning getting dressed for work. He has nice muscular arms and a nice chest. He had on a nicely fitted black t-shirt he was going to put a sweater over. If we weren’t both trying to get out the door to get to work…….. :wink:

Single and Happy

January 10th, 2014
10:49 am

Button yea I noticed (LOL)

kimmie

January 10th, 2014
10:49 am

Button – I don’t know, plenty dudes of all nationalities drool over J Lo & Kim K booty….. lol