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Are you too raunchy for your date?

My friend Chris is new to the city so he has been meeting women in different places. Recently he met “Kelly” at the gym and asked her out. Kelly told him that she wanted to pick the location and so he agreed to pick her up. She gave him turn by turn directions and they ended up at some kind of adult entertainment venue.

Chris is super straight laced and not into that scene at all so he insisted that she pick another activity for them. She obliged but he said that the entire evening she said some really raunchy things.

Now, in Kelly’s defense, when Chris is in his workout gear, you can’t tell that he is conservative. Apparently she didn’t gather that from the few conversations they had before the date either. So know we have two people with extremely different viewpoints on a date. Awkward!

I think if Kelly had saved her raunchy side for later, he could have discovered other things that they had in common. He decided with absolute certainty that there won’t be a second date, though.

Do you ever get turned off when someone you just met gets to raunchy?

Guys, how would you have reacted in this situation?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

187 comments Add your comment

Mrs. SexyCool

January 8th, 2014
11:04 am

I will also add that the dating culture today has created a legion of folk who stay DTM. All these crazy @ss songs on the radio and their accompanying videos, as well as other societal influences, is changing what folks think is normal.

Um…first date at the strip club?!?!? Ma’am…go have all the seats in the Georgia Dome.

2CPTG©

January 8th, 2014
11:05 am

Kelly was looking for a jump-off. Chris was looking for a girlfriend.

yep!

kimmie

January 8th, 2014
11:06 am

SCool – Excuse my ignorance, but what is DTM?

Mrs. SexyCool

January 8th, 2014
11:07 am

Doing too much.
Doing the most.

kimmie

January 8th, 2014
11:13 am

SCool – thanks!

DuShawn

January 8th, 2014
11:13 am

“All these crazy @ss songs on the radio…….” Now that’s the truth. When I take my kids to school in the mornig, the only safe station is the Yolanda Adams morning show.

Button

January 8th, 2014
11:16 am

Leggs – I was joking about being a prude, farrrrr from one. My free spirit side dose rear it’s head every now and then and when she does I make take full advantage of her.

Mrs. SexyCool

January 8th, 2014
11:16 am

And Du – now that there are songs like “I’m Going To Worship Until I Pass Out” – I’m giving some of these newfangled gospel *artists* the side-eye.

Leggs

January 8th, 2014
11:19 am

Button

January 8th, 2014
11:20 am

I like listening to the 80/90’s music 98.5

kimmie

January 8th, 2014
11:23 am

Button – My kids love 80’s music! In my car we listen to 98.5 sometimes in the morning. Hubs has satellite radio and we listen to 80’s on 8 in his car.

Celisea

January 8th, 2014
11:35 am

On topic: I don’t think the issue was Chris being ubber conservative. My dude and dude friends are conservative but that ain’t got jack to do with letting their hair/guard down. I think the chick was just fast and apparently don’t have clue of what it take. Yeah, most horndogs are impressed getting nasty out of the gate, but for how long. She leads with her sexuality. Ain’t nobody schooled ole girl to hold off on bringing out her bag of tricks. That really you ain’t gotta lead with that to impress. Ain’t nobody taught ole girl she can be a lady and still impress ANNNND snag the man. Plenty of time for going in the bag of tricks. Somebody should teach the order of things.

Leggs

January 8th, 2014
11:35 am

I love 98.5. Wish I had some money I might open a club like Bell Bottoms where they played 80’s and 90’s music with cages so you can dance if you cared to (lol).

Celisea

January 8th, 2014
11:36 am

I have yet to met a man that is so conservative to the point of being a prude. I especially dig dudes up for bible study :mrgreen:

Button

January 8th, 2014
11:40 am

I’ve never been impressed with dudes who know bible verses. Heck even satan and him minions know the scriptures. One preacher told me let’s get it on and then pray afterwards, said he was told to reach out and “touch” me. :mrgreen:

Button

January 8th, 2014
11:41 am

Leggs – I remember bell bottoms! oh the memories.

Celisea

January 8th, 2014
11:41 am

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

I just sniggled. Like I learned in church and see from the constant mockery, “the world is not a friend to grace.”

DuShawn

January 8th, 2014
11:45 am

Its some freaks up in bible study too. Don’t get it twisted. Some of the best lovers I ever had were church girls, but when they were on their knees around me the were not praying.

Button

January 8th, 2014
11:45 am

I bought a red hot schexy short lingerie to wear, I know I wasted my money, I’ll be in the darn drawer more than it’ll be on me. teeeheee

Button

January 8th, 2014
11:46 am

Du – teeeheee do tell!

2CPTG©

January 8th, 2014
11:47 am

I’ve never been impressed with dudes who know bible verses

what about healing powers?

YesSheIsCute

January 8th, 2014
11:48 am

@Button well basically it happened like this. We were out to lunch I felt the date was done but didn’t really say anything. He was like he didn’t want the date to be over and I was like so what do you want to do? He mentioned a movie that he wanted to see but didn’t know the name. I was like what do you normally do on Saturday afternoons maybe we can do that? He said go to a strip club. I said it’s like 2 in the afternoon he was like so what? I go on my lunch break sometimes it’s right across the street from my job. I was like fine let’s go. He was really surprised he was like no we don’t have to go. I was like obviously you want to, otherwise you wouldn’t have even mentioned that’s what you do on Saturday afternoon. So I was like you must want to go and you must have hoped I’d say yes so let’s go….

kimmie

January 8th, 2014
12:09 pm

I think the issue or main point of discussion is the question posed – Do you get turned off when someone you just met gets too raunchy? What happened with Chris & Kelly is, to me, an anomoly, one of those crazy things that don’t happen every day. Nothing surprises me anymore. It is interesting to know what the guys would do if they had something like that to happen to them. But yes, folks jump the gun and take it to the gutter with folks they don’t know all the time, make crude suggestions, sext, send racy pics, it runs the gamut.

No man has gone straight raunchy coming out the gate with me like that on a date, but some have said little things that crossed the line, say at a night club or party when they might have had a little much to drink.

My experience with the Bible-thumper type men to be a little overbearing and judgemental with it. My relationship with God is my own and they seemed to look down on me or question my faith if my walk was not expressed the same way as theirs. I have strong faith, but I’m a little low-key and private with it and so is my husband.

Single & Happy

January 8th, 2014
12:13 pm

CZ @ your 9:32, if that was the case then there would have been a second date. He’s not open minded, his way or no way, so they probably wouldn’t have that much in common.

YesSheIsCute

January 8th, 2014
12:13 pm

Maybe Chris’ you-know-what is visible in his workout clothes. So she thought he was like that. There’s a guy I work with. His you-know-what is visible in certain things he wears and the women get a kick out of it because supposedly it’s of size. I dont know I don’t have a trained eye for looking at that and don’t generally look at men anyway. But all of that to say that’s probably what they meant by his work out attire.

MsAtl

January 8th, 2014
12:13 pm

Kimmie- I get what you are saying about religion. A man asked me whether I went to church regularly and when I explained my views, he told me that God was going to keep working on me. Lol. If a person does not feel the need to go to church every Wednesday and Sunday, it does not make them a heathen. If I spend the night in my garage, does that make me an Audi?

kimmie

January 8th, 2014
12:15 pm

was that they tended to be a little overbearing and judgemental with it.

Mrs. SexyCool

January 8th, 2014
12:15 pm

“My experience with the Bible-thumper type men to be a little overbearing and judgemental with it. ”

^^^This.

I dated a guy who – over the course of the relationship – became uber-religious. At the end, I told him that I didn’t need him judging me – for a few reasons. I am convicted by my own spirit when I am off the path. Also, he didn’t have a heaven or a h#ll to put me in and ONLY God can judge. It just became too heavy, too much, too weird.

Single & Happy

January 8th, 2014
12:16 pm

Du, love them “Sanctified Lady’s a good ole church girl” (LOL)

kimmie

January 8th, 2014
12:24 pm

If I spend the night in my garage, does that make me an Audi?

MsAtl – LOL!! You might not even be a car, you might be a motorcycle or a bicycle!

Just because you walk around quoting scripture and singing gospel does not make you a saint, or me a heathen because I don’t. A big part I think, of honoring God is how you live your life and treat others. God will shine thru you for all to see.

MsAtl

January 8th, 2014
12:27 pm

“how you live your life and treat others.” That was exactly what I told him. I try to live right and do right as well as give service to others (hush DuShawn!) and in my view, that is more important than where I spend my Wednesday evenings and Sunday mornings.

Sassy Me

January 8th, 2014
12:32 pm

I remember bell bottoms! oh the memories.

(Shyly looking around )

Oh the memories…good music amongst other things..

Sassy Me

January 8th, 2014
12:36 pm

Just because you walk around quoting scripture and singing gospel does not make you a saint,

Sure doesn’t…some of the biggest heathens/hypokrites/hoes are on the pulpit.

Button

January 8th, 2014
12:38 pm

2C- healing powers by who?

Button

January 8th, 2014
12:44 pm

SlimNu

January 8th, 2014
12:45 pm

Dude must have been bench pressing with a thong on

:lol: (sorry, trying to catch up in between work) Keep ‘em coming!

Celisea

January 8th, 2014
12:47 pm

If a person does not feel the need to go to church every Wednesday and Sunday, it does not make them a heathen. If I spend the night in my garage, does that make me an Audi?

Hi larious…I just burst our laughing :)

In Christianity the walk for all true believers are the same. That’s the the guage is the bible…not what you think. Heck, it’s not even what I think. It’s what God says and mandates. That makes true religion universal. Everybody running every which doing what they think or feel ain’t the real thing…IJS Every true believe gets in line with what the Word calls for. You’re sadly mistaken and misguided if you think the path to eternal life is based on “how you feel, worshipping in your own way.” The Spirit of God, directs every man the same way, in line and in synch with Christ’s walk.

But, I digress. Everybody should live how they feel. Those that are or are not will be revealed in the end. Even God says leave ‘em alone, let ‘em live how they want and I’ll do the separating in the end. I say, live on! :mrgreen:

Celisea

January 8th, 2014
12:48 pm

BTW, Even though heavily cliched, the church ain’t for already saved folks, it’s for sinners, heathens, the ungodly. So, some of y’all mistaken. Hopefully the chick that used to be on her knees is now sitting upright, on the pews :mrgreen:

Celisea

January 8th, 2014
12:49 pm

There are thinks I’on do no more….there are things I’m still tempted to do. Hey, Imma sinner, saved by grace!!

I’m gone to lunch….toodles (that was for Sassy)

2CPTG©

January 8th, 2014
12:50 pm

I go on my lunch break sometimes it’s right across the street from my job.

ummmmm, did he work at Ga Pacific on Peachtree street? ’cause I used to hit up Magic City on my lunch breaks…cause, it was “right across the street from my job.”

Celisea

January 8th, 2014
12:57 pm

the walk “is”….my bad

Sassy Me

January 8th, 2014
1:07 pm

Mrs. SexyCool

January 8th, 2014
1:16 pm

OAN – now that I’ve been washing a load of laundry daily, it results in fewer clothes being in more water, my whites are coming out brighter and brighter. Who knew?

Mrs. SexyCool

January 8th, 2014
1:17 pm

And that^^^…was one big run-on sentence. #I’mMyOwnGrammarPolice – (lol)

SlimNu

January 8th, 2014
1:25 pm

I don’t see how the ‘walk’ can be the same for all….

Leggs

January 8th, 2014
1:34 pm

Mem>Just because you walk around quoting scripture and singing gospel does not make you a saint,

Sure doesn’t…some of the biggest heathens/hypokrites/hoes are on the pulpit. – Or under it or down in the boiler room!!!

Exiled!

January 8th, 2014
1:44 pm

So Celisea..lemme ask u thus since u on God’s preaching pedestal..

U and ur man..are u hunching or u not?

Ahhh…just answer that bit.

So wr know,next time u saying some bout God,good,bad etc,we know u got credibility!

Lemme ask again,’Are u hunching ur man or u celebrating?’

Very simple..:lol:

Exiled!

January 8th, 2014
1:45 pm

Celibating (wrd?) :lol:

Exiled!

January 8th, 2014
1:55 pm

the church ain’t for already saved folks?

@Celisea..I think church folks use as an excuse to continue doing bad!

I find it so especially when some die hard folks cannot do basic stuff like respecting thy neighbor. Very basic indeed.

What’s the point then of going to church when u cannot intermingle well with folks outside the church.

You can’t use the church fo show…

I have often even said this to my wife…be a thumper alright but some things(sins),u don’t even have to be in church to know they are wrong.

Honor and respect thy neighbor.

Some church folks can’t do it!

Waste of church time

Leggs

January 8th, 2014
1:57 pm

the word is celibate or practicing celibacy.