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Break-ups and Make-ups

It is always interesting to hear commentary about the lives of celebrities because it sort of gives you an idea of how people think. Classic example is the recent engagement news of actress Gabrielle Union and NBA player Dwyane Wade. It was super sweet to see the pictures on instagram and how happy they are. Fast forward a few days?? Suddenly people say that Gabrielle is foolish to marry him since he fathered a child when they had a brief break up.

Listen, breakups are messy. Relationships can get complicated. Who knows if Dwayne realized how much he loved Gabrielle after reuniting with an ex? Perhaps the grass was not greener. I heard a lot of women claiming they would never have been open to marrying someone who hooked up with someone else and returned to them with a kid.

I wonder, what does taking a break from a relationship mean to you? Have you ever asked for one? Do you think more couples should take some time off to test the relationship’s strength?

I also found it interesting to note that if the roles were reversed and Gabrielle had a child with someone else on “the break” – then people certainly would have a different perspective on the situation. I know, many of us could care less about the lives of the rich and famous, but I am interesting to see what our MIA readers think!

P.S. What are you guys doing to bring in the New Year? Check out some fun options here
Happy Tuesday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

103 comments Add your comment

lee

December 31st, 2013
6:40 am

I wonder, what does taking a break from a relationship mean to you? Have you ever asked for one? Do you think more couples should take some time off to test the relationship’s strength?
Well if you need to take a break most likely you do not belong together, and whom ever does the asking has their eyes set on another. Test the relationship strength is just silly, listen life is going to test you all the time you do not need to add to the fire.

Happy New Years! I have no special plans, going to cook up some sea food and enjoy the night safe and warm at home.

MyThoughtsAreMyOwn

December 31st, 2013
8:02 am

As I was preparing to graduate from undergrad and move to another state to take a job, my then boyfriend and I decided to take a break. He had a night of fun with an old flame that resulted in him fathering a child. I stayed friends with him and moved but never rekindled the relationship and I don’t wonder about the what ifs. He showed his hand while I was taking finals and interviewing for a career position.

I believe if both parties agree to the dynamics of what taking a break means then it can work for them, otherwise stuff happens.

MyThoughtsAreMyOwn

December 31st, 2013
8:03 am

Happy New Year MIA!

Single & Happy

December 31st, 2013
8:11 am

Hello everyone

I wonder, what does taking a break from a relationship mean to you? Have you ever asked for one? Do you think more couples should take some time off to test the relationship’s strength? Sounds like games, I’ll save those for my PS3

know, many of us could care less about the lives of the rich and famous, That’s me in a nutshell.

What are you guys doing to bring in the New Year? trying to sleep :-)

SlimNu

December 31st, 2013
8:42 am

Morning all,

I would have a huge issue with a guy running off and impregnating another after a short break. It would come off as very impulsive and careless to run around just skeeting in whomever. Taking a break does not mean, run amuck and lose your mind. Still look our for yourself and keep that thang strapped up!!! But from the outside looking in, it’s easy to say what you should and shouldn’t do because you’re not IN it.
Even in my situation, I still struggle with my feelings. (even though no infidelity happened)

Single & Happy

December 31st, 2013
9:04 am

Hey slim. If you know yourself, you don’t have to be in a situation to know what your reaction would be. It’s some $hit that’s just not acceptable to some that others are okay with.

SlimNu

December 31st, 2013
9:05 am

And then there was just One….me :???:

SlimNu

December 31st, 2013
9:06 am

Oh, there you go. Single, I think it must be a sign that we always end up allllll alone. :lol: j/k

Leggs

December 31st, 2013
9:12 am

If you need to take a break, the relationship is already on a shaky foundation. I’ve never asked for a break and one was never asked of me. However, when on a break does that mean you’re supposed to sit at home and contemplate the relationship? Are you supposed to sit on the couch eating bon bons until you get back together? Are you not supposed to sex others while on break? What exactly are you supposed to be doing while on break? Why not just end the relationship and see if you two really want to be together? That way, infidelity won’t rear it’s ugly head. But, is it infidelity if you’re on a break? I don’t get it. Seems like a contract needs to be drawn up on the do’s and don’ts while on break.

Hell, just break up!

Good, good morning!

Single & Happy

December 31st, 2013
9:12 am

slim, you don’t have to be alone ;-)

Single & Happy

December 31st, 2013
9:20 am

Leggs, taking a break and giving space is code for “i’m interested in someone else, and I wanna try it out”

SlimNu

December 31st, 2013
9:20 am

Leggs – I suppose breaks mean different things to different people. I’m guessing to give time away to think about some things but to possibly chill with other folks??? I’on know either. lol

MsAtl

December 31st, 2013
9:33 am

Morning All!

I have never taken a break while in a relationship. I did separate once during my marriage and after starting counseling, I agreed to reconcile. Was that a break? Not in my opinion. Nor did it give either of us carte blanche to run around. It was a time for reflection.

Sometimes I think people ask for a break so they could sex around without it being considered cheating. At this point, I don’t know what my reaction would be; I guess it would depend on the circumstances and the supposed reason for the break. I am leaning toward just break up period if you don’t know what you want or where the relationship is going.

Supposedly Gabrielle and Dewayne took a break because she was filming and he was recovering from an injury and their lives were busy. If it were truly that busy, how did you find time to hook up with someone else?
Not to mention- do any of you remember the letter to Gabrielle from a woman claiming to be Dewayne’s girlfriend? That was in February; the timing fits…
http://theurbandaily.com/2013/02/20/gabrielle-union-responds-jumpoff-dwyane-wade-letter-cheating/

Single & Happy

December 31st, 2013
9:40 am

For me taking a break means I can do do whatever and whomever I want to. If I just want some time to think I don’t need to take a break from the relationship to do that.

Celisea

December 31st, 2013
9:42 am

It was super sweet to see the pictures on instagram and how happy they are.

Ummm, didn’t she take her husband? Yeah, how sweet what that??

Fast forward a few days?? Suddenly people say that Gabrielle is foolish to marry him since he fathered a child when they had a brief break up.

Suddenly?? Nothing sudden about it. She got back what she did to the wife. Only a matter of time. God don’t like ugly. I’on feel no empathy, sympathy, nothing…lol You knew dern well you broke that woman’s heart when you came between her, her hubs and their kids. Then to sit back and help label her as crazy?? All because she wouldn’t roll over and let y’all skip off into the sunset…WITH HER KIDS IN TOW! No more Team Gabby…lololol Technically they were on a break, but I bet her heart is feeling every bit of scorned. Deservedly so.

Mmm hmmm, walking ’round here believe you’re the be all that ends all. Any man that will publicly denouce his wife, call her crazy, have her declared crazy, his strategy for looking like the hero, ain’t nothing!

MsAtl

December 31st, 2013
9:50 am

Celisea- That was my first thought when I saw the news also- Wasn’t Wade still married when Gabrielle got with him? I say if a person will cheat with you, they will cheat on you.

MsAtl

December 31st, 2013
9:50 am

Btw- I can’t wait to see what Reio has to say about this. O.o

Celisea

December 31st, 2013
9:51 am

I’on believe in “taking a break.” Either we call it quits or do the dang thing. No way I’m giving a dude the out to go play and have fun and then come back. You need a minute? Go ‘head and take a lifetime. If there’s a break that’s needed, then for me that’s called breaking up….period. This kind of stuff is what I call a hairline crack for letting in the uglies……messing round, dating round then coming back. Nuh uh. NONE. OF. THAT. I’on play that mess. Dudes (not all), mess up enough. No need in helping them play around.

Celisea

December 31st, 2013
9:56 am

MsAtl – Definitely! And while it’s all cliched and stuff, those are my sentiments as well. What he did with you he’ll do to you, a leopard never changes his spots, etc etc etc. Chile please, the way you got him was shady shady, don’t be acting all surprised and leaning on a technicality of “we weren’t together.” Dude went out and bang so hard, he got another baby. Surprise surprise. Yeah, gon and marry him. You gon be cray cray #2 when he takes your kids and run off with the next chick.

That wife ought to grinning and winning (or feeling like a winner)…I would be.

Celisea

December 31st, 2013
9:57 am

Okay, I’m gone to work now :)

Toddles and BBL

Leggs

December 31st, 2013
9:59 am

Single ~ that’s how I see “taking a break.” CODE! Not only that, a break is merely a tactic of keeping your foot in the door and being able to come back after you’ve played in whatever playground you’ve been eyeing!

Let me ask you this, do any of you know people who have taken a break and stayed alone actually contemplating the pros and cons of their relationship??

Celisea ~ exactly. End the relationship because while on “break” there is no commitment to one another and you’re free to do whatever the heck you want to do. If I want to go out the night we’ve broken up, who are you to have a problem with that. We’ve severed our ties to one another and I is a free to do who and whatever I want.

Celisea

December 31st, 2013
10:00 am

Leggs – a break is merely a tactic of keeping your foot in the door and being able to come back after you’ve played in whatever playground you’ve been eyeing!

Exactly….you hit the nail on the head.

Single & Happy

December 31st, 2013
10:01 am

Leggs, I don’t know anyone that’s actually called it taking a break.

MsAtl

December 31st, 2013
10:04 am

Leggs- Since I was married, I don’t call it a break; it was a brief separation. I used the time to think about my marriage and whether we needed to stay in it.

abc

December 31st, 2013
10:04 am

“Taking a break”, celebrity BS… shake my head, no comment necessary.

For New Years it’s a quiet night at home, tomorrow will be the greens and black eyed peas (I don’t like the greens), bowl games, another nice quiet day.

Leggs

December 31st, 2013
10:10 am

MsAtl ~ I think a separation while married is different than a break while single. I would think those that are married would actually sit and ponder. No doubt some that are single would also, but seems like those that are single are quicker to get out and play. Marriage takes a helluva lot more thought because there is more commingling of one’s life together. Those that are single and shacking probably do not have the same amount of commingling going on.

Miss Moni

December 31st, 2013
10:32 am

GOOD Tuesday Morning MIA!!!

I’m physically back at work, but my mind is still in Florida!!! :-D

what does taking a break from a relationship mean to you? To me, it means that we are not together and free to conduct ourselves as single people do.

New Year’s Eve plans: My daughters and I will be at the Holy Ghost Party of the year aka church. It’s our family tradition!!! :-)

SlimNu

December 31st, 2013
10:38 am

Miss Moni – I will too ;-)

Miss Moni

December 31st, 2013
10:40 am

-Hey Slim!!! I find that it’s a great and safe way to get my mind & spirit right for the upcoming year. :-)

SlimNu

December 31st, 2013
10:46 am

Moni – Well, I figure I’d fill up on the holy spirit for the new year, then go home and get my fill of a bit of adult spirits. Don’t judge me :lol: :-D

kimmie

December 31st, 2013
10:47 am

Hey Gang!! Happy New Year!!

I’on believe in “taking a break.” Either we call it quits or do the dang thing – I agree Cel!!

Gabby & Dwade are welcome to each other. Trifling. Dude wasn’t even responsible enough to cover it up during the “break”. Yeah, they can have all that drama! Only ones I feel empathy for are the innocent children involved. But they will be alright too. Might sound cold, but that’s the way I feel.

Miss Moni

December 31st, 2013
10:49 am

-Slim No judging over here!!! ;-)

-Hey Kimmie!!! Are you cooking a traditional New Years meal???

Reio

December 31st, 2013
10:50 am

Morning all!

Just got back from another Dr.’s appt. Looking good. No problems.

Time away? …..Da hell?

We are either together or not. No time off. No breaks. Doesn’t make sense to me. If she even brings this up to me, it’s over. I won’t even ask why. I’ll just show her the door, with the instruction of “Don’t come back!”

kimmie

December 31st, 2013
10:52 am

I’m still shaking my head at Dwade. Dude is NOT a teenager, he’s a grown azz man!! With all he’s been thru with the ex & the kids, he should be the poster child for covering it up. Typical dumb jock!!

He’s so average anyway to me, looks-wise. The only thing he has going for him is he’s tall.

Celisea

December 31st, 2013
10:56 am

Kimmie – Yep yep, on DW….I’on see the shine either…IJS

Shole was hoping we got the greenlight to get up out of here early…ain’t seen nothing yet…pooh!!

SlimNu

December 31st, 2013
10:56 am

As far as Dwade, a guy friend of mine said he simply pulled a Kobe by getting Gabrielle that ring. Was just a way to schmoooove things over. lol

kimmie

December 31st, 2013
10:56 am

Moni – Yeah imma throw a little something together for a low-key NY day! I am the only one that likes black eye peas, so I am just going to get a small can of them and doctor them up. I got a small ham, some kale for the greens and we’ll have baked sweet potatoes. I might make a small pan of mac & cheese. That’s it!

Reio

December 31st, 2013
10:57 am

I will guarantee you that when people decide to do this, the vast majority don’t discuss the expected behavior of the other one, during the break. So, if she wanted to play this game, I might just go along with it, start chasing other women, and use the excuse of “Well, you didn’t say we couldn’t date anybody else. You just said that we needed some time apart for a while. Hell, how long is ‘a while’ anyway….?” Or words to that effect. I mean, what’s to stop me?

Reio

December 31st, 2013
11:11 am

Even if we decided that we weren’t going to see others during the break, some guys would be so upset about it, that they would go out and chase as many women as they could, just to spite her.
I can see that happening as well.

Leggs

December 31st, 2013
11:12 am

I remember when we talked about Catherine Zeta Jones and M Douglas taking a “break” from their marriage. I didn’t agree with it then and I don’t agree with it now. If married, go into counseling if need be. I know people who are still on break/separation 10 years later…but I only know those here in the South. If you can’t afford a divorce, save up for it. No way in hell am I going to be tied to you 10 years later. I guess that’s a whole nother can of worms.

Single & Happy

December 31st, 2013
11:13 am

Now Reio, how you gone tell someone you want to take a break, then give guidelines for the break WTH

Miss Moni

December 31st, 2013
11:13 am

-Kimmie That sounds yummy, I eat all of the above that you mentioned. Gotta make a run to the store before I go home.

Leggs

December 31st, 2013
11:15 am

Am I remembering incorrectly, but wasn’t Gabrielle considered “loose” in the industry? I like her talent and she’s very pretty, but shame on her for what she did coming between Wade and his family and shame on Wade for opening the door for that to happen. As been stated, if he cheats with you, he’ll definitely cheat on you.

kimmie

December 31st, 2013
11:15 am

Leggs/Reio – We cannot fathom such mess because we are not for the drama. But some folks thrive on drama, wouldn’t have it any other way, and would not know how to act if there was not any drama!

Leggs

December 31st, 2013
11:31 am

Reio ~ glad results of your appointment came back on point! Onward and forward….

With all the holiday usual food, I cooked a little differently for this past Christmas and doing the same for NYE. Of course, will have the black-eyed peas and collards, but I’m frying chicken this year. I haven’t had fried chicken in quite some time. I’m going to try my hand at a cheesecake from scratch. Ending 2013 with new baking ventures (lol).

Reio

December 31st, 2013
11:33 am

I’ve always wondered if having so much money that neither you nor your grandchildren will ever have to work again, has some bearing on how people conduct their personal lives. Big mansion, fancy cars, jewelry, yachts,…..some people just stop giving a hoot and figure that no matter what, I’m set, so to hell with what others say or think. Must be nice.

2CPTG©

December 31st, 2013
11:34 am

I hate hearing about celebrity anything….the majority of their mess is just bullsh!t anyway! “time away”, da hell is that? and if you say you want time away/space, or whatever, then don’t get pissed cause I’m not sittin around twittling my thumbs waitin on yo ass…..you’re either in, or ya ain’t….

Reio

December 31st, 2013
11:36 am

“…. new baking ventures (lol).”

Oh my, don’t start that. Somebody close to me might get some ideas. Lawd, Naw!!

Leggs

December 31st, 2013
11:42 am

:lol: :lol: I hear you, but she’ll only get ideas if you put it out there. :wink: My daughter is happy that I’m baking. When she leaves to go back to school, the baking will stop because I’m not a dessert person.

MsAtl

December 31st, 2013
11:44 am

Kimmie/Leggs- Y’all dinners sound good. Growing up, we always had black-eyed peas and fried chicken. I am the only one who eats the peas also, so I may make a small pot along with chicken. Not sure if I will fry it, I usually bake it; maybe oven fried is a compromise.

Slim- He confirmed his parentage of the 1-month-old boy before last night’s Miami Heat game against the Denver Nuggets, according to ESPN. “In our time apart, in our break, in our pain and our hurt, a blessing came out of it in my life, having a son who was born healthy,” Wade said. “I got a chance to see him,” Wade said.