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Holidays: Perfect for appreciation

We are well on our way into the Holiday trifecta for relationships: Christmas, New Year’s, and Valentine’s Day. While many will look for monetary gifts to show their love, the truly priceless thing we can give is attention, love, and appreciation.

Since we have so many women who find it challenging to show appreciation for their men (don’t shoot the messenger, I hear this a lot from men), I thought it would be a good idea to share some ways to show that you appreciate the good man you have:

I have never met a guy who does not love a home cooked meal. Yes, we all have busy careers and Scandal shows to catch up on, but a couple of great home cooked meals over the holidays will make your man feel appreciated.

Show him you appreciate him by LEAVING HIM ALONE. At least for a few hours, anyway. Instead of dragging him with you to the stores, why not let some of his holiday leisure time be spent doing anything he wants to do without guilt trips? Absence makes the heart go fonder, right? Win-Win.

Guys, what are things you would like women to do to show their appreciation? When was the last time you made the woman in your life feel appreciated?

Ladies, if you are dating someone special, what things would you want them to do to make you feel like you are appreciated?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

153 comments Add your comment

YesSheIsCute

December 20th, 2013
11:10 am

What I really want to know is, how do you gentlemen show your appreciation in a relationship?

Reio

December 20th, 2013
11:14 am

Look, I’m married. But, I’m not just married. I’m married to another human being. While it’s true I’m the man of the house. Family leader. I’m not better than her. She’s not beneath me. So, I respect her and all of her little nuances. But I have to tell you, that I’m not so much against shopping, my problem is the length of time she takes to do it. Stops at every aisle. Physically has to touch everything. Walks slowly. Decides on something, then puts it back. Asking me which one I like better….But that’s just her. I can respect that. Just leave me out of it. She and the girls go shopping and stay for HOURS. Gracious!!

DuShawn

December 20th, 2013
11:17 am

“She’s not beneath me”…..I wife prefers to be beneath me. Although she often gets on top.

disco

December 20th, 2013
11:18 am

can we talk about who you hope DOESN’T show up at Christmas dinner? there’s got to be somebody with some bad kids or a drunk husband or the relative who just generally gets on everyone’s nerves. you know the ones that you appreciate it when they finally leave? lol.

Reio

December 20th, 2013
11:22 am

Saw some Swan’s Down cake mix on the kitchen counter last night. Kinda funny, when I got home, it wasn’t there, but around 10:00pm, I went to the kitchen to fix a bowl of Cap’n Crunch Peanutbutter, and saw it on the counter, so, it must to have been in the pantry, cause she was already home when I arrived, and didn’t leave. A bit nervous now. “Thangs is bout to start happening”.

Reio

December 20th, 2013
11:23 am

Du – “Although she often gets on top.”

On top of what?

Leggs

December 20th, 2013
11:25 am

“…a soft kiss on the forehead while she whispers in my ear “You’re my heart and soul.”,

Reio ~ we all want to hear that and I agree it’s priceless. However, the same level of joy is not emoted. While one can constantly see the ring on their finger, or the necklace around their neck and admire and appreciate it with a smile, that “soft kiss on the forehead while she whispers in my ear “You’re my heart and soul” will have you admiring and appreciating the sentiment with your eyes close. Now, that’s a lasting, heartfelt memory that will forever linger in one’s soul. There are simply many levels of joy just like there are many levels of pain (for some).

YesSheIsCute

December 20th, 2013
11:27 am

@disco that’s one of the perks of living in a completely different state from your family members. No holiday dinners. Hence no drama, no unwanted guests, etc. It sounds pathetic to people who value the holidays but I don’t. Except New Years and Valentine’s Day.

disco

December 20th, 2013
11:29 am

y’all sound like the best man up in here going on about forehead kisses. smdh. lol.

yes – I value the day off.

2CPTG©

December 20th, 2013
11:29 am

so…..

I hooked up with this random chic last night…..and didn’t even hunch!!! imagine that!

Leggs

December 20th, 2013
11:32 am

disco ~ I’m not really expecting anything for Christmas, well something from my child (if she saved any money). I bought myself a gift, Samsung Galaxy S4. I’m cooking (as usual), but doing something different than usual Christmas dinner. Between Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas dinner, then NYE dinner, I’m getting tired of all that heavy food. This year I’m doing my delicious white turkey chili, a ham, Asian slaw, rolls and maybe something else. I will have pie and a sour cream pound cake. I think that’s it.

I’m cracking up that Reio had to ask “on top of what?”

Leggs

December 20th, 2013
11:37 am

My exact sentiments, YSIC. I have no family here so those that ring my bell are those that I invited and never drama.

2C ~ frankly, I would think that’s an easy thing to imagine (not hunching some random) unless you habitually hook up with random chicks.

disco

December 20th, 2013
11:37 am

leggs – I was also contemplating the holiday meal. frankly I feel like “I just cooked” on thanksgiving and cooking is a chore. why should I be turning around and cooking again? I might mess around and just make a lasagna or something since I don’t anticipate any visitors.

2C – where’d you meet said random chick? recently I met a dude at a red light and he followed me to subway, bought my lunch and we went our separate ways.

disco

December 20th, 2013
11:38 am

2C – did you mean random as in “she ain’t nobody” or random as in you just picked her up off the street?

SlimNu

December 20th, 2013
11:41 am

Reio – I know i’m late (trying to catch up) but I’m not a diamond girl…not saying I wouldn’t appreciate it. But some of the best gifts I’ve ever received didn’t fall into the jewelry category. I remember an ex of mine suprised me with my favorite cheesecake and tickets to fly to Houston to see my favorite two cousins. I cried when I opened it up…so we both flew out there and had a blast with my fam. I’m more interested in memories and experiences.

DuShawn

December 20th, 2013
11:42 am

“You’re my heart and soul”……..wow…talk about Harlequin Romance. I guess me and mine communicate differently. Translated in our language, she would smile and lovingly say “you’re such an azzhole.” Then I reply, “I feel the same way about you. Now get over here and bust it open”

2CPTG©

December 20th, 2013
11:43 am

Random, as in her friend and I are co-workers, and she was hanging out in the parking lot, and me being the suave, debonair fellow that I am, just kinda randomly introduced myself, and took it from there……ended up kicking it after work….hangin’ out…..

2CPTG©

December 20th, 2013
11:50 am

The whole time I was choppin it up, I was saying to myself…..dang, wonder how Cutie, or Slim would feel if they knew about this….so sweeties, I’m puttin it out there for y’all….I ain’ got no secrets….

Leggs

December 20th, 2013
11:50 am

SlimNu ~ now come on chile, gifts like those are priceless. I would take that over jewelry, but when you can’t think of anything, and we have that type of a relationship, jewelry usually saves the day.

So, you did pick her up off the street (lol). She was hanging in the parking lot with your co-worker. I kid, I kid…

disco

December 20th, 2013
11:57 am

2C – so this hanging out… what did it entail? what did y’all talk about? you put it out there so you might as well put it out there.

Reio

December 20th, 2013
12:05 pm

Got a question for yall. Cause yall know everything. Kinda related to this topic. Sorta. I guess.

Anyway. I have this niece. By the way, one of my sister’s is having Christmas dinner at her home this year. But, I have this niece, Brittany, bout 24. She’s not a biological niece, my brother adopted her, years ago, She was around 2 years old, after marrying her mother. They’ve since divorced. At any rate, she is going to be there. She’s at all of the family gatherings. She will always be our niece. We love Brittany. Here’s the problem. Without fail, without exceptions, whenever we have these gatherings, she clings to me like white on rice. Physically, always just a step away, or right up on me.

The good thing about this is the only time I ever see her, or hear from her is at these social events. She never calls, never stops by, no texts, no emails. But when something happens and we are both there, it’s cling city. Follows me around, goes to fix my plate, wants to know what I’m drinking(soda), “Is it hot in here for you”? When the other twenty something nieces are in another part if the house, doing what they do(gossiping….), she’s all hugged up by me and won’t leave my side. Like I said, this behavior is only happening during these gatherings. So, I’ve never said anything. My sister’s and wife have mentioned “What’s up with her azz?”, “What’s her problem?”, “What-chu got that she seems to like so much?”…. I’d prefer to say nothing, which is what I’ve been doing. But she is no longer a teenybopper anymore. I don’t know. As long as she doesn’t try and carry this beyond these gatherings, I guess it’s just a harmless way she has of bonding. Who knows? Just wondering what, if anything, I should say/do?

2CPTG©

December 20th, 2013
12:07 pm

so this hanging out… what did it entail? what did y’all talk about?

she ended up spending the night!!! After work, I had a request for some IT work come in, and told her how I needed to “hit that lick” real quick, and she could hang with me, and watch how I hustle…she was cool with it, I did my thing, made that lil change right quick, and we just chopped it up, and sipped on a lil some’n….and ended up falling asleep….

disco

December 20th, 2013
12:13 pm

reio – if she’s always been this way with you ever since she was little then I’d think nothing of it. if she just started acting this way after she got grown, well, then I’d think a little differently about it.

disco

December 20th, 2013
12:15 pm

2C – so now what? you gone call her or just gone leave it alone? will she make it into the rotation or will she get the “just a friend” speech?

Reio

December 20th, 2013
12:18 pm

disco – I would say I noticed it during her early teen years. Around the time my brother divorced her mother.

Leggs

December 20th, 2013
12:21 pm

“I guess it’s just a harmless way she has of bonding. Who knows?” – She may have been priming you since late teenage years and in that case, it’s not harmless. The fact that there’s no contact away from these gatherings is definitely in her favor, but while at the gatherings, she wants your attention on her, her growth, her body, her maturity. She may like your style and is watching how you carry yourself, how you take care of your family and she’s the student soaking it all in for when she decides to settle down. You may simply be the only canvas that shines a positive light toward her. Who knows.

disco

December 20th, 2013
12:21 pm

reio – well I’m no shrink but it sounds like she adopted you as her surrogate adoptive father. I don’t think it’s really that big a deal. maybe a little awkward but no big deal.

2CPTG©

December 20th, 2013
12:23 pm

disco, the jury’s still out, as far as her position goes, but she is cool to hang out with….no moments of awkward silence, nice free flowing conversation…..so we’ll see…that’s unless Cutie, or Slim objects to the idea….then I’ll cut her ass off like GA Power!

MsAtl

December 20th, 2013
12:29 pm

Reio- I agree with Disco, it sounds like she may have adopted you as her father figure. Is your brother at these gatherings? Does he still consider himself her dad? Does she refer to you as “Uncle Reio? It is likely harmless, but just keep an eye out.

Reio

December 20th, 2013
12:31 pm

Leggs/disco – Thanks. I too, see it as harmless. Never saw the “…adopted you as her surrogate adoptive father….angle. I don’t know. It’s not bothering me, mind you, just confusing. She dates and all that, but never brings anybody with her. A couple of years ago, I called her up a week or so, before the gathering, and told her to “Bring your boyfriend. I want to see if he is good enough for you.”, “Hehehe..Ok, I will.”. But, she arrives without him. I didn’t ask where he was. Just didn’t care, I guess. I’m not tired of it or weary from it. Just would rather not have to have it happen every time.

Durty Burd

December 20th, 2013
12:34 pm

Good Afternoon!

2C go on and handle that, I’m going to take care of YSIC and SlimNu in 2014. YSIC and SlimNu are at the right age for me…I’ll handle it from here! Carry on

Du-When do you get your man card back? 2014

Reio…I am not so much into jewerly as well, although I’ve had some ladies buy me some expensive watches,I broke everyone of them…hehehehe!

disco

December 20th, 2013
12:35 pm

reio – not saying that that angle is correct but I see it as possible. heck, I’m good and grown and there are certain family members that I prefer to stay up under when I do go home. now, granted, I don’t stick to them like glue but there’s some that I say what’s up to, give the obligatory hug and then I don’t bother with their behinds any more the whole trip.

MsAtl

December 20th, 2013
12:36 pm

Durty- Broke them intentionally or are you just destructive?

Durty Burd

December 20th, 2013
12:37 pm

Speaking of shopping, I usually could not do much in the area with and SO, but the Cleveland Browns left town and that left a enormous bad taste in my mouth. I met this young lady who love to shop, I actually started shopping on a regular basis with her and her mom’s. They would buy me something everytime we went out. They were shopping crazies,eventually I had to get away I was too tired to get the puddle from all that walking… :wink:

Reio

December 20th, 2013
12:37 pm

MsAtl – Yes my brother is always there. As you know, you can’t un-adopt someone. But they interact throughout the year as Father/Daughter. With me, it’s just these gatherings. He has done a wonderful job with raising her and his biological kids. Brittany is just one of our nieces, just like all the rest. What’s behind her clingy demeanor with respect to me, is a mystery. And yes it’s “Uncle Re”.

Durty Burd

December 20th, 2013
12:40 pm

Ms. Atl…Not intentionally, sometimes I would wear them in place I should not have them on and the accident would happen. They were pimping trying to buy me with stuff…

I actually still have one of the watches it is really nice, so I had it repaired. Now if I can just find it!

Single & Happy

December 20th, 2013
12:42 pm

Button @ your 10:24 No I’ve never been smoother in a relationship, if the seem like that type, we don’t make it to the relationship.

Leggs

December 20th, 2013
12:54 pm

Reio ~ your brother adopted her at age 2 and you say he’s done a wonderful raising her and his other children. Then, let it be. She loves you guys. Doesn’t sound like she’s a “Candace” in the making (a conniving, vindictive trollop on The Have and Have Nots). You good!

Single ~ did you me smother or are you not smooth (lol).

Leggs

December 20th, 2013
12:55 pm

did you MEAN…

Durty Burd

December 20th, 2013
1:01 pm

Single meant his is not smooth in his relationship, thus the reason he pays for the choochie! hehehehehe!

Leggs…Sounds like a really good dinner, I too have tired of heavy holiday food…Save me a plate I will be over the day after christmas. I have to play santa and deliver some gifts to some naughty women…hehehehe!

Oh I have something for you too! Have u been naughty or nice? Wait tell me when I get there! :wink:

Single & Happy

December 20th, 2013
1:10 pm

Durty, we all pay for coochie no matter how you put it. Cause if we stop paying, the sho aint playing.

Leggs, yea you know what I meant (LOL)

Leggs

December 20th, 2013
1:19 pm

“Cause if we stop paying, the sho aint playing.” You really meant “giving” didn’t you (lolol)

Dinner will be good. I’ll do my best and save you a plate..

SlimNu

December 20th, 2013
1:25 pm

Leggs – If I don’t go to AL, i just may hit you up. I’ll bring the hawaiian sweet rolls :-D

Single & Happy

December 20th, 2013
1:31 pm

Naw leggs I meant playing, cause my giving is in my living (LOL)

Leggs

December 20th, 2013
1:39 pm

SlimNu ~ those are my daughter’s favorite rolls.

Single, I mean’t giving as in the woman isn’t giving it up! You got my drift (lol).

Leggs

December 20th, 2013
1:39 pm

SlimNu ~ hit submit to fast. That would be fab, hit me up!

SlimNu

December 20th, 2013
1:40 pm

Single & Happy

December 20th, 2013
1:56 pm

Slim I’m on my way down now, you need a ride :-D

Leggs

December 20th, 2013
1:56 pm

BTW, bring some likka with you or wine along with those rolls. Anything you like.

SlimNu

December 20th, 2013
1:58 pm

You know I gotsta travel with my drankie drank! :oops: