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Holidays: Perfect for appreciation

We are well on our way into the Holiday trifecta for relationships: Christmas, New Year’s, and Valentine’s Day. While many will look for monetary gifts to show their love, the truly priceless thing we can give is attention, love, and appreciation.

Since we have so many women who find it challenging to show appreciation for their men (don’t shoot the messenger, I hear this a lot from men), I thought it would be a good idea to share some ways to show that you appreciate the good man you have:

I have never met a guy who does not love a home cooked meal. Yes, we all have busy careers and Scandal shows to catch up on, but a couple of great home cooked meals over the holidays will make your man feel appreciated.

Show him you appreciate him by LEAVING HIM ALONE. At least for a few hours, anyway. Instead of dragging him with you to the stores, why not let some of his holiday leisure time be spent doing anything he wants to do without guilt trips? Absence makes the heart go fonder, right? Win-Win.

Guys, what are things you would like women to do to show their appreciation? When was the last time you made the woman in your life feel appreciated?

Ladies, if you are dating someone special, what things would you want them to do to make you feel like you are appreciated?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

153 comments Add your comment

Single & Happy

December 20th, 2013
7:38 am

Hello All

Preach Diva

Show him you appreciate him by LEAVING HIM ALONE. At least for a few hours, anyway. Instead of dragging him with you to the stores, why not let some of his holiday leisure time be spent doing anything he wants to do without guilt trips? Absence makes the heart go fonder, right? Win-Win.? I guess I’m not with this one, because I don’t have a problem saying when I need some space. and getting some. When I’m in a relationship I don’t have a problem spending a lot of time. If I wanted to be alone, I would stay alone.

Button

December 20th, 2013
8:14 am

Ladies, if you are dating someone special, what things would you want them to do to make you feel like you are appreciated? Saying thank you is all I need. Anything he does outside of that is nice too but acknowledging any good deed that I do and saying thank you is a winner!

Good morning!

SlimNu

December 20th, 2013
8:20 am

Good morning folks! :-D

lee

December 20th, 2013
8:23 am

Ladies, if you are dating someone special, what things would you want them to do to make you feel like you are appreciated? A nice back rub would be nice… Best thing both sexes can do is give your time, ask if your partner needs help even if they don’t need your help if is lovely when one offer, never stop saying thank you to your hunniebunny and follow that up with kiss.

lee

December 20th, 2013
8:25 am

Good Morning

YesSheIsCute

December 20th, 2013
8:57 am

Good Morning everyone!

I really don’t care to discuss about ways to show men appreciation because I do it in every relationship because I’m a thoughtful person. Plus every man is different so you can’t really generalize. Find out what that specific man wants and needs and do it.

SlimNu

December 20th, 2013
9:06 am

I’m a simple gal…pulling me to the side and telling me how much you appreciate me is great…But i’m a sucker for a good card with a handwritten note in it ;-)

Single & Happy

December 20th, 2013
9:07 am

Slim cmere, I really appreciate you :-D

SlimNu

December 20th, 2013
9:12 am

Single – lol, good try but thank you….even though I’m not quite sure why you appreciate me ;-)

Single & Happy

December 20th, 2013
9:13 am

Slim I appreciate you for just being you :-D

SlimNu

December 20th, 2013
9:21 am

Awwww, now that was a little better :lol:

MsAtl

December 20th, 2013
9:28 am

Morning All!

Since I regularly cook for nay man I am seriously dating, one way he can show appreciation is by cooking me a home cooked meal. Like Slim said- a card is always nice. Most of all, don’t take my efforts for granted and remember a simple thank you or I appreciate you goes a long way.

MsAtl

December 20th, 2013
9:28 am

*any man, not nay man, lol

SlimNu

December 20th, 2013
9:34 am

And to be frank, appreciation should be throughout the year, not just on holiday’s…

Reio

December 20th, 2013
9:36 am

Morning all.

Well, I don’t really know what to say on this beyond, try and find out what she wants and provide it for her. In addition, go ahead and make a firm commitment to yourself to continue this spirit throughout your relationship/marriage. Nothing wrong with starting now, but we need to keep it up after the holidays. As far as Me? Well, I think Diva and S&H said it best, “LEAVING HIM ALONE”.

I hope this will not be taken the wrong way(probably will), but, just from my own observations and experiences, and conversations, I, and many men, perhaps most men, absolutely love being left alone. I cannot tell you women how much this means to a lot of men. Oh, you don’t have to leave the house, hell, you don’t even have to leave the room. Just, please, be quiet, don’t bother me, for a while. I would say that, many, hopefully most men, really care for and love their spouse/SO, but some peace, quiet, and tranquility means so, so, so, so much to us. But that’s just my opinion.

disco

December 20th, 2013
9:41 am

good morning. I don’t think I’d be one to trip so much over a token of appreciation. I don’t necessarily need to “feel appreciated” so long as I don’t feel as if I’m being “used or taken for granted”. if the overall feeling is somewhere in the middle, it’s all good.

Single & Happy

December 20th, 2013
9:43 am

Slim I appreciate you 366 days of the year :-D

SlimNu

December 20th, 2013
9:48 am

Reio – Being left alone does not only apply to men but women as well. My cousin that is recently engaged said that her and her fiance discussed ‘decompression’ time. When they come in from work or whatever, they’ll speak/greet each other then go to their little separate dens to decompress from their day. They were both used to living alone for so long and felt that would be important for their relationship. She’ll usually read or whatever and wait until he comes to her. So far she says it works.

MsAtl

December 20th, 2013
9:50 am

Slim- Yes, you are right, appreciation should be shown all year. Decompression time; I like that. On the flip side, my last S/O wanted together time when he got home from work. He said he wanted the first half hour to hour when we got home, then I could talk to my friends.

SlimNu

December 20th, 2013
9:53 am

Single – I see you’re going hard in the paint. Tell me what you want :lol:

Reio

December 20th, 2013
9:54 am

Slim/MsAtl – Here here.

SlimNu

December 20th, 2013
9:59 am

MsAtl – That’s good too, I guess it just depends on the couple and the needs of those involved in that relationship.

SlimNu

December 20th, 2013
10:03 am

SlimNu – I’m big on being sure to greet each other after being apart all day or days….and also how you leave each other. I know the last guy acted a bit bi-polar but he’d walk in and say “sup?” like I was one of his homeboys. Come in hug or kiss me and speak like I’m your lady, not your buddy or roomie. :roll:

Leggs

December 20th, 2013
10:03 am

I’ve always understood the concept of “leaving him alone.” We all need our downtime and I can identify with SlimNu’s cousin “decompression time.” It definitely helps balance the mind, spirit and soul. Now, you can cross each other in the hallway and want to jump their bones (lolol).

I appreciate you all through the year, not just on the holidays. I can’t believe someone on the news this morning said “Christmas has turned into nothing more than dollars” in terms of sales, discounts on top of discounts. Where has he been???

Good morning!

Single & Happy

December 20th, 2013
10:04 am

Slim I just want you to be happy (said trying to keep a straight face) you already said you don’t like us oleheads (LOL)

SlimNu

December 20th, 2013
10:13 am

I didn’t mean to address that post to myself hehehehehe

Single – Well, in life I guess you shouldn’t single a certain “type’ out until you’ve tried it. (me too trying to say it with a straight face)

Reio

December 20th, 2013
10:14 am

I guess this is about as good a time as any to post this, so here goes.

When it comes to Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries….and life in general, it’s obvious to me that many women tend to really get a great deal of joy and satisfaction in receiving jewelry and diamonds as gifts, or tokens of appreciation….Which is fine. But this is just a pet peeve of mine. A lot of men feel the same way.

Here is my problem, and if this is off topic, I apologize. But I don’t understand the thrill or excitement some people get from receiving jewelry as a gift or token of appreciation. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t look down on it, I just don’t understand it. I wish I could. I wish I could feel that joy that some others feel upon receiving these kinds of gifts. To be honest, as far as I’m concerned, a diamond has as much value as a tangerine seed. Honestly, I’ve never felt any kind of joy or pleasure at receiving a gold watch, or expensive neck tie pin, or,…..Maybe, one day it’ll hit me all of a sudden. I’ll get something and immediately become ecstatic and overwhelmed with joy and excitement. Hasn’t happened yet though. I don’t think it ever will.

Single & Happy

December 20th, 2013
10:15 am

Slim well cmon an try it :-D

DuShawn

December 20th, 2013
10:17 am

“Instead of dragging him with you to the stores,” A few years ago I had an epiphany. I found myself in a mall holding a purse and four bags of women’s shoes. Suddenly my wife comes out from the fitting room for what seemed like the hundredth time and asked “which one do you like better, this one or the other one?” That’s when I had a moment of clarity. The love briefly subsided and I saw myself for what I had become. I mean, I’m in the mall, with a purse, while the NFC championship game is on and she’s wondering why I have an attitude. We had been there for hours. I vowed right then to never let my wife take my manhood again. I don’t do malls with women! Wifey knows I’ve had several bad experiences with that and I’m emotionally scarred as a result. Don’t even ask.

Single & Happy

December 20th, 2013
10:17 am

so reio, what do you get joy from receiving?

Leggs

December 20th, 2013
10:24 am

“…as I’m concerned, a diamond has as much value as a tangerine seed.” – Must not have seen a diamond close up (lol). Seriously, a diamond is a beautiful gem so who wouldn’t want to own one? Not only that, it’s not so much the diamond itself but the sentiment behind it. That’s where the value comes in, the worthiness the giftor feels toward the giftee. It’s an intangible sentiment that’s voiced with diamonds.

DuShawn ~ glald you had that “moment of clarify” and didn’t jump to your death from the top of the mall!!!!

Single & Happy

December 20th, 2013
10:30 am

See how guys are different, you could drag me to all the stores during any sporting event no matter what it is. And it has happened, We all get our joy from different places.

Button

December 20th, 2013
10:32 am

Reio – I agree with your 9:36. I also will say I enjoy my me time too. I give my G space, I think too much space sometimes. He appreicates it and I know I do as well. we don’t live together yet until after marriage but when I spend the weekend I resort to the other bedroom just to relax and take care of me (reading books, doing whatever) esp when he’s working on his publications. Sometimes he does come in and I have to shush him out. It took him sometime but he finally got used to it. I’ve made that extra bedroom my lil santuary sorta. We’ve already agreed that I will have my lil oasis in our new home, he’s not a man cave kind of guy so I don’t have that to worry about.

Single & Happy

December 20th, 2013
10:36 am

I guess since I’ve never lived with anyone, when I’m in a relationship I don’t need any me time, I’m more about balancing my life and finding time for everything with out neglecting anything.

Reio

December 20th, 2013
10:41 am

S&H – I get joy from receiving the news that my daughter, who lives there(Marietta), made it home safely after a visit here to see us. I get joy in receiving the news that my granddaughter (her daughter) is in kindergarten, but reads on a 2nd grade level. I get joy in receiving the news that my other daughter was proposed to by a young man that I think is a truly wonderful fella. I get joy in watching my daughters(years ago), pass the road test, and getting their driver’s license. I get joy in watching them finally learn to ride a bicycle without training wheels for the first time and not falling down. Joy in seeing them graduate from college. Joy in seeing my wife bake a pound cake that didn’t weigh 4lbs.(Years ago, she got lucky once )…….”Things” don’t mean sh!t to me. I wish I could feel that same sense of joy, but as of yet, I haven’t.

Kinda like what happens during a rainstorm. I’ve been hearing people say for years “Man, this rain makes me sleepy. When it rains like this, I can sleep like a baby”. Hell, when it rains, I can’t sleep at all. To scared a tornado will come and destroy my house, and they’ll find my right arm in the next county, and my head and guts, in somebody’s back yard 700 miles away in a small town just outside Kansas City, MO. Just sayin

Button

December 20th, 2013
10:42 am

Reio – we all have our way of recieving/showing appreication. You don’t value gifts but some do. For some that means the world. I’ve always attracted the gift giving men.

Reio

December 20th, 2013
10:48 am

I don’t have a problem with expensive jewelry as gifts. What I’m saying is, frankly, I have never felt that joy. I want to feel the same way my wife and daughters feel, when they receive gifts. But I haven’t. I have no idea what they must be feeling. I long for that, I desire that, but thus far, it’s fleeting.

Single & Happy

December 20th, 2013
10:50 am

Reio you said the magic words, they don’t mean sh!t to you.

Single & Happy

December 20th, 2013
10:51 am

Gym time, holla later

Button

December 20th, 2013
10:54 am

Single – have you ever been smoothered by a date? In a relationship? I have, my ex used to smoother the heck out of me. He was practically on my heels at every turn. Calling all the time, I got no air to breathe! I like attention but too much sends me into a frenzy.

Button

December 20th, 2013
10:55 am

Reio – did you feel any kind of joy purchasing your wife engagement/wedding rings?

Leggs

December 20th, 2013
10:57 am

Reio ~ when my daughter drove home from school for the first time by herself I felt joy, I was proud, and I was scared. That was one of the best phone calls I’ve ever received up to that moment “Mommy, I’m home!” The next best phone call was when she drove back to school and repeated those same words. I had immense joy when she got accepted to college, and yes, when she barely passed the driving test. There is no joy that can amount to the joy you receive watching the positive growth of your children.

With all that being said, I’m one who gets joy from jewelry.

Reio

December 20th, 2013
10:57 am

I long for the day when I can feel that joy. I don’t look down on it. Hell, I envy those that can receive gifts and feel true joy and happiness. If I had a choice between my wife presenting me with a $200,000 diamond ring or a soft kiss on the forehead while she whispers in my ear “You’re my heart and soul.”, I’d take the kiss and whisper EVERY damn time. That’s priceless to me. I’ll do without the ring. Hell.

Reio

December 20th, 2013
10:59 am

I feel joy in giving gifts to them, cause, I’m anticipating their reaction. And seeing their joy. Something aIwant to experience, but haven’t yet.

DuShawn

December 20th, 2013
11:00 am

did you feel any kind of joy purchasing your wife engagement/wedding rings?……..I didn’t. I only felt pain. “I was like, “Man…. hurry up and ring this shid up, so I can get outta here. Just put the receipt in the bag. I don’t even want to look” However, I do enjoy seeing her wear it.

Reio

December 20th, 2013
11:00 am

Leggs – I envy you.

Reio

December 20th, 2013
11:02 am

Du – My wife and I have an unspoken rule: Never shop together. Period. Been that way for almost our entire marriage.

Button

December 20th, 2013
11:03 am

Du – :lol: :lol: :lol: btw I like the “I do enjoy seeing her wear it.” part.

Button

December 20th, 2013
11:06 am

Reio – I don’t know too many men who like to shop with their SO, heck I don’t know too many men who like to shop period! My G hates shopping. I know better than to ask him to go to the nearest corner store with me. lol He does perfer online shopping though.

disco

December 20th, 2013
11:09 am

OMG!!! this blog really needs me today. y’all just trying to get straight mushy up in here. I know it’s been a full moon and all but dang. if it’s the holiday spirit can y’all at least wait for the holiday? ijs. can we talk about who is getting the boot for Christmas or who is expecting a gift but ain’t getting jack? can we talk about who always cooks what and who needs to stop cooking whatever they make that no one will eat? thanks. I appreciate it. lol.