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Dirty little secrets?

Have you ever met someone really wonderful and then worried what would happen if they found out something about you? I think it is normal to have a past, things we regret doing, or a few skeletons in the closet. Once you get in a relationship, some of these things has to come out…eventually. I repeat: your dirty little secrets may have to be revealed in a relationship.

Now this idea probably freaks you out a bit but there is something very liberating about having someone with whom you can be yourself. Sure you can save a little for yourself to keep to your grave, but isn’t it important to share things with your partner?

If you can imagine being in a relationship and discovering something about your partner, do you think you could handle it if they kept a secret? I know a lot people wait until something comes up before getting the full story, is that really a good plan?

Do you have concern about your date’s dirty little secrets?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

85 comments Add your comment

lee

December 18th, 2013
6:57 am

Secrets i don’t have any. I am an open person so if you ask me a question i shall answer, I was a tad wild when i was younger so depending —you may not like the answer.

Today is my Friday!!! YIPPIEEEEE

Kat

December 18th, 2013
7:24 am

If you consider it a “dirty little secret,” and it doesn’t affect anything about your current relationship, I say keep it to yourself. If it does affect him/her (such as you used to be a different gender), disclose it.

Single and Happy

December 18th, 2013
7:28 am

Hey everyone

Do you have concern about your date’s dirty little secrets? If it was BR (before relationship) and it can’t affect me in any way then I don’t need to know! And I’m not keeping a secret, it just doesn’t have any benefit to being brought up, it’s in the past.

Miss Moni

December 18th, 2013
7:55 am

GOOD Wednesday Morning MIA!!! :-)

Dirty little secrets. . . As long as it’s not currently affecting the present, then let bygones be bygones.

Button

December 18th, 2013
8:17 am

Sure you can save a little for yourself to keep to your grave, but isn’t it important to share things with your partner? Yes a few things but not everything. To you it maybe nothing but to your partner it could be everything and he/she might turn things around and beat you up on your dirty lil past. I’ll share the good dirt and keep the other dirty stuff to myself. No thank you on sharing every tid bit of my past.

If you can imagine being in a relationship and discovering something about your partner, do you think you could handle it if they kept a secret? depending on what the secret is, if he told me he used to be gay then I would not handle that so well , if he told me he cheated on his taxes then I wouldn’t bat an eye.

Good morning!

Button

December 18th, 2013
8:20 am

If he told me he used to be on crack or any other illegal drug then I would not handle that well.
If he told me he used to steal cars and sell it to the shop chop then I would not handle that well.
If he told me he used to work for chippendale then I would want to see proof.

YesSheIsCute

December 18th, 2013
8:41 am

Good Morning everyone!

The term Dirty Little Secret is relative. If it affects me then it should be disclosed up front. If it doesn’t affect me it should be disclosed as it comes up in conversation. But everyone is “affected” by disclosures differently. One person may say sex change is no big deal, many other people may be like to hell with that TELL ME.

Robert

December 18th, 2013
9:00 am

“do you think you could handle it if they kept a secret?”

1. Serial Killer – S/he was married (5-7 times) to rich people who died
2. Exotic Dancer – S/he worked as a “stripper” when s/he was in college
3. Exotic Movies – S/he is a “Porn-Star”. S/he has made over 20 movies
4. Mental Health – S/he is “bi-polar” crazy. Please take your meds
5. STD’s – S/he has “herpes”. Please tell s/he before sex

Ladies and Gentlemen what would you do?

SlimNu

December 18th, 2013
9:03 am

Button :lol:

Every person you date does not need to know every little thing you’ve ever done in your life….We should all know by our age that when you’re younger, you tend to be a bit more wreckless and may not make the best decisions. Now if those decisions have some bearing on your current life, then yeah, spill the beans bro!

Even though I didn’t play the lotto, i’m glad someone in GA finally won. Usually its some northern state or something.

Reio

December 18th, 2013
9:10 am

Morning all!

As long as not knowing will not affect me or her going forward, I’d rather not know. And if I have something that will not affect either of us, I won’t mention it. Although, I’m like Lee(6:57am), if you ask me a question, expect the truth. Sorry.

Button

December 18th, 2013
9:29 am

SlimNu – I read that someone in Atlanta is in for the sharing of the jackpot. Lucky summa….:lol:

MsAtl

December 18th, 2013
9:31 am

Morning All!

If you have a murder conviction, a dreadful disease, or 50 hidden kids, then let me know up front. If you stole candy when you were ten, I don’t care. I don’t need to know very single little thing about someone, but there are some things that should be disclosed.
There is nothing s horrible in my past that I would consider a dirty little secret. If asked a question by someone I am dating, either I will tell you the question is too much or I will tell you the truth; I am not going to lie about it.

MsAtl

December 18th, 2013
9:34 am

Button/Slim- The winning ticket was bought 10 miles from my job; I won $2.00. Boooo. Oh well, the $2 will buy a Powerball, better than nothing.

Leggs

December 18th, 2013
9:42 am

The little dirty secrets I do have are not worth sharing. Won’t do anybody any good. I’ll take those to my grave. His dirty little secrets he too can keep. If it has no bearing on our relationship, he doesn’t have to share. We all have a past. If you haven’t murdered someone, have someone held prisoner in a home you own elsewhere, have a medical condition that will affect my health, a harem of women, a gaggle of children somewhere, I’m basically good knowing you have a past.

I only had 2 of the #s.

Good morning.

Leggs

December 18th, 2013
9:47 am

I see the general consensus is if it doesn’t affect our present, no need to know. We are one accord (for now).

Button

December 18th, 2013
9:51 am

I personally wouldn’t go asking a person if he had and secrets. I would guess he does and if he want to share then I wouldn’t stop him. I would however keep in mind that it’s his past and if it’s not too tainted then I won’t fly off the handle.

YesSheIsCute

December 18th, 2013
9:58 am

Robert actually #4 happened to me. I had been living with my ex for awhile. All of a sudden he had some sleep deprivation issues, issues on the job and a death in the family and he had an episode. So I really didn’t find out until he came home one day and flipped on me. I basically had to run out of the house not even fully dressed so he wouldn’t attack me. He was then in a mental hospital for about a week. I didn’t know he had mental health issues or that he was taking medication and seeing a counselor to manage it. That’s something you need to say up front b/c if he would have beat the ish out of me or killed me there would have been NOTHING his family could have said to mine.

2CPTG©

December 18th, 2013
10:00 am

This is where the lines get blurred……No, I don’t care about my date’s dirty lil secrets….but my beau, SO, or otherwise partner, yes…..at some point, they go from being a date, to that “chic”…..but whilst they’re still just a “date” then information is disseminated on a need to know basis…..

YesSheIsCute

December 18th, 2013
10:02 am

I’m not saying I should have known so that I wouldn’t have dealt with him but you need to know what you are dealing with. I could have handled the event/situation a lot better than I did had I known.

Leggs

December 18th, 2013
10:04 am

♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BLACKFOOTE/WILLIED and CELISEA♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ Hope you guys have a great day!

MsAtl

December 18th, 2013
10:07 am

YSIC- Oh my!
Celisea- Happy birthday.

SlimNu

December 18th, 2013
10:08 am

Button/MsAtl – This is one time I wouldn’t mind sharing that jackpot. They both will still come out pretty big even after taxes. Boooo lol

Robert

December 18th, 2013
10:13 am

@YesSheIsCute- #4 happened to me too. Once upon a time I dated a woman who had mental health issues. She was “bi-polar” and I did not know anyone who had it or how to deal with it. She was OK when she was taking her medicine. She had no idea how crazy she acted.

I also dated a woman who was going through “menopause” which is a whole different kind of crazy. She would cry for no reason, and would have hot and cold spills. In the middle of the night in the winter she would turn the air conditioner on to stay cool. She was a mess until she went to the doctor and got some medicine to help ease her pain.

SlimNu

December 18th, 2013
10:13 am

Yes – WOW! Sounds like an episode of a show that would be on IDTv lol

So let’s get this thang poppin’. Who would like to be the first to step up to the podium and share a secret with your fellow bloggers? :-D

Single and Happy

December 18th, 2013
10:13 am

Now Roberts No1 wouldn’t be a problem, I’m not rich :-D

No 3 & 4 hell aint none of us no virgins!!

No 4 hell we all crazy!!

No 5 Yea I need to know, but that goes back to affecting our relationship

The only questions I would ever ask are the general type, never anything about a past sex life, or relationships.

Single and Happy

December 18th, 2013
10:17 am

Slim for me they are not secrets, they are things that happened in my past, I’ve moved on and don’t even think about them. It would only be a secret if it was something I was doing now and didn’t want my S/O to know about.

Robert

December 18th, 2013
10:19 am

Ladies, what would you do if you found out the man you are dating has been married/divorced/widowed 5-7 times? This is not uncommon. I have a friend from Nigeria who has been married at least 5 times in the USA. What would you do? Marry him or leave him?

SlimNu

December 18th, 2013
10:19 am

Single – boooo lol

SlimNu

December 18th, 2013
10:20 am

Robert – Um, 5-7 times sounds like a huge smoke signal if you ask me….From that point on I’d be looking for the fire…from afar. ;-)

2CPTG©

December 18th, 2013
10:29 am

a secret….sure, why not…..

Robert

December 18th, 2013
10:30 am

@Single and Happy – #1 is a problem for all men. Men have no weapon against a “big butt and a smile-Poison”. P.H.A.T. women can have any man anytime they want. It should be against the law and they should be classified as a – Serial Killer. They can kill a mans dreams, hopes and desires and wipe away all his financial gains. if that does not kill you they will break your heart and give you a heart attack.

MsAtl

December 18th, 2013
10:31 am

Robert- I would definitely keep my eyes open; that’s a lot. I would be curious as to why- Impulsive? Killed them? Ran them off? They didn’t appreciate him? Etc.

kimmie

December 18th, 2013
10:48 am

Hey Gang!!

The countdown to my Christmas in Florida on!!

Happy Birthday Blackfoote, Willie & Celisea!! Make sure it’s a great one!!

On topic – If it doesn’t have the potential to affect the present or the future, who cares? I sure don’t. That Nigeria dude? That’s why I don’t deal with foreigners.

kimmie

December 18th, 2013
10:50 am

They can kill a mans dreams, hopes and desires and wipe away all his financial gains.

If he’s that weak, maybe he should just stay single, not date and become a monk or something!LOL!!

Miss me with the drama, man.

2CPTG©

December 18th, 2013
10:52 am

kimmie, what part of Florida?

kimmie

December 18th, 2013
10:56 am

2C – Orlando.

Single and Happy

December 18th, 2013
10:57 am

Robert, if you let a woman do all that to you then that’s on you not her.

Leggs

December 18th, 2013
11:03 am

“…if you let a woman do all that to you then that’s on you not her” – you know my saying, I did nothing of the sort, you handed your manhood to me on a silver platter!

I agree, Single!

disco

December 18th, 2013
11:04 am

good morning.

hey y’all.

2CPTG©

December 18th, 2013
11:08 am

hey disco……

hey y’all, what are/were some creative ways y’all have asked for a raise…..

Button

December 18th, 2013
11:10 am

SlimNu – heck I wouldn’t mind sharing 3, 4, 5 ways with all that money.

Robert – there are meds for rmenopause? I didn’t know that. I heard there are herbs that can lessen the affects of if but never heard of meds for it. I think I’m going thru pre menopause. I have to have the house cold at night and I still sweat :mrgreen: I also go thru the mood swings too. I can tell when I’m getting ready to have a bitchfit!

Single and Happy

December 18th, 2013
11:11 am

For me, and maybe it’s why I’m still single, no woman is going to mold me into what she want’s me to be, nor is she going to stop me from being what I want to be. And as far as finances, I am not going to let mine go down to impress, or bring someone else’s up.

I have a co-worker who’s truck broke down last week, his wife told him that when he gets another one, get a new, new one, not one that’s just new to him. He said he wanted to tell her he would if she would stop getting a new one. I asked what does that have to do with anything. He said because he doesn’t thing to car payments should be coming out of the same house (huh) I said then she’s not stopping you, you are. Because she’s not thinking that way.

Leggs

December 18th, 2013
11:11 am

2C ~ I asked for a raise 2 months ago. I wasn’t creative. Simply stated why I deserved a title change, a pay increase, my work ethic, me backing up many departments and that with my college/room expenses, I may have to look for another job. HR is working on it as we speak!

Leggs

December 18th, 2013
11:16 am

Button ~ are you serious in not knowing there were meds for menopause. I’m not on any, but thank goodness I don’t have any mood swings (that I know of). Loss of estrogen, too much testosterone needs to be regulated. I have the hot/cold flashes and that is becoming problematic. I just don’t care to be regulated at the moment. I sleep w/heat off and one window slightly open and ceiling fan on. I get very hot while under the covers. When I get a hot flash while at my desk, for some reason I can’t hear anything anyone is saying to me, esp my boss. Other than that, I’m good….lololol

kimmie

December 18th, 2013
11:19 am

Single – That first paragraph in your 11:11? You sound just like me. Maybe that’s why I was single for so long!LOL!! But really, I had to find someone that could roll with Kimmie, just as she was/is!!! And nobody was gonna mess with my money!

Button

December 18th, 2013
11:36 am

Single – you’re single bc you want to be single. Choice not chance.

Leggs – Yes meds/herbs to lessen the affects but meds to make it go away, never heard of it.

disco

December 18th, 2013
11:42 am

okay. just so we clear. what time is it where y’all are? I swear I’ve been here for a good 6/8/10 hours but looking at my clock that can’t be right.

kimmie

December 18th, 2013
11:49 am

Sorry Disco, it’s 11:49 am EST here.

Leggs

December 18th, 2013
11:52 am

O/T: Didn’t win MegaMillions, but my probation is up from radio station and I guessed the cold cut artist. Won tix to Frankie Beverly contest and movie tix…woo hoo.

disco

December 18th, 2013
11:52 am

kimmie – well at least I’m not the only one stuck on this time. dang. I have a feeling this is going to be the longest day ever.