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Dating: Are they loyal?

My friend Sam always tells me that a dog is man’s best friend because dogs are loyal. To guys, loyalty is everything. This means that if a man believes that the woman he is seeing can’t be loyal to him then he won’t trust her. If he won’t trust her then the relationship won’t progress.

Sam tells me that this is one of those “very simple things” about men that is pretty cut and dry. I think some men believe that getting respect from the woman they are in relationship ranks higher than getting love from her. Some even decide to test loyalty in different ways.

How important is loyalty to you? Have you ever dumped someone because you felt they were disloyal?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

150 comments Add your comment

Durty Burd

December 11th, 2013
2:39 pm

2C… Can you schedule an appointment for SlimNu she has a broken heart!

SlimNu..Why do you you have a broken heart? Umm don’t answer that question, this is a private issue we need to work on…Dr. Durty at your service! :wink:

Exiled!

December 11th, 2013
2:47 pm

I always appeal to the lowest common denominator..

A good line of attack(I must admit) when we are disagreeing,I guess.

@Kimmie..

Typical divide and conquer tactic. :lol:

Durty:meelo,u stole my money,gimme my money.

Exiled: Durty,never mind ur money,u know Slim is cheating on u? :lol:

Celisea

December 11th, 2013
2:50 pm

MMeello – If what you listed isit, then it’s not loyal. Even so, you didn’t answer my question. Never mind…lololol

Loyalty is what it is…not conditions (for being loyal), not stipulations (for being loyal), you just either are or not. Nothing to do with kids, money, if it’s okay for a man to not be, blah blah blah

See, this is why I say maybe folks need a course first before demanding or professing to be. And as I figured (not you MMello), but folks in general.

kimmie

December 11th, 2013
2:51 pm

Durty – I was speculating about that situation, but it still depends on the people involved and their situation. Like Slim said, sometimes it can take months or going into a year before you find another job depending on the industry you’re in. In some, you need to get right back out there asap. The 80k in the 401k should not be touched unless an extreme emergency so why let it get to that point? That would not be very reassuring. The 60k sounds good, but that depends on the kind of bills they have. He said it will cover 6 months – meaning their monthly bills are around 10k a month. What happens if he doesn’t get a job by the end of the 6 months? You only heard his side of the story, which is understandable.

I actually had a friend that when thru almost exactly the same thing with her husband. He went into a depression and ended up going over a year before he got another job. She had taken 3 years off work with a difficult pregnancy and a 3 months too early premature baby. She had to get back out there and hold it down, trying to be understanding and deal with the depression.

kimmie

December 11th, 2013
2:52 pm

Durty,never mind ur money,u know Slim is cheating on u?

Exiled- I must admit, this had me cracking up!LOL!!!

SlimNu

December 11th, 2013
2:55 pm

I don’t have issues with being loyal, other than i’m loyal to a fault. hmph!

kimmie

December 11th, 2013
2:56 pm

I just told one of my coworkers about the Steve Harvey situation. She said if it were her & her husband she would just say EVEN!!lol!!

Exiled!

December 11th, 2013
2:59 pm

Cel…are u looking to get married?
If you are,then I can borrow u for a minute(from 2Can) and have u for a rose tint removal session..then therapy afterwards. :lol:

Marriage ain’t no joke!

Mrs. SexyCool

December 11th, 2013
2:59 pm

Yeah…I keep thinking about the word of the day. And somehow, it’s just not a word that I associate with a romantic relationship. I guess I’m more comfortable falling back on words that have loyalty built in as a part of the deal.

Loyalty reminds me of pets (well, dogs – who ever heard of a loyal cat?) and sports fans.

In short, loyalty is necessary and desired, but it ain’t sexy. (lol)

Celisea

December 11th, 2013
3:05 pm

Cel…are u looking to get married? If you are,then I can borrow u for a minute(from 2Can) and have u for a rose tint removal session..then therapy afterwards

I don’t think I’m wearing rose tinted glasses. I’m a realist. What I do know is that it’s possible. Never believe it’s all sappy, happy, slappy, but I do know no matter the ups and downs, loyalty is what it is….

Yeah, borrow me and teach me a thang or two. I’ve never been one that operated much off of delusions. And that included relationships. While not the same as “marriage”, it still take that level of “goodness” to keep true.

Celisea

December 11th, 2013
3:06 pm

And honestly, if you can’t do it before, not sure if you can afterwards…just saying

Sassy Me

December 11th, 2013
3:14 pm

She said if it were her & her husband she would just say EVEN!!lol!!

:lol:

Even swap no swindle…win,win for all involved. I wonder who got home first and what that conversation must’ve been like. Matter of fact…do you segue into a conversation like that, or just dive in?… :mrgreen:

Exiled!

December 11th, 2013
3:16 pm

Loyalty is very sexxy(for a man at least) when u know ur woman got ur back. Its worth Even more,when a man is down or a lil incapacitated and she holding the fort.

I ain’t talking bout taking advantage of a woman. I am talking bout getting actions of loyalty from a loving wife.

I know a dude that’s going thru it right now. Upstanding dude,MBA but been in the water financially for just a minute. Big mortgage.

The wife is a real biastch!

But dude chose his bed. Now he knows,it’s thorny! :lol:

I tell ya..

daddy swiss

December 11th, 2013
3:19 pm

Totally off topic observation:

IT people at law firms, schools & non-profits are highly likely to be completely incompetent. That is all. lol

kimmie

December 11th, 2013
3:19 pm

Exiled – She was a beyotch before his financial issues, but he probably found it sexy and spicy then. Now, not so much! :(

Exiled!

December 11th, 2013
3:23 pm

True

@Kimmie.

That’s why I always ask folks with girlfriends/boyfriends:’u 2 ever had a serious argument?’

Because u can never truly know somebody if everything is lining up,u got food,rides,money and sexxy is copious.

When ur azz is naked(figuratively,whatchu thinking),that’s Shen folks get exposed for who they are!

(ofcourse it applies literally when that wig is off too) :lol:

Exiled!

December 11th, 2013
3:24 pm

Exiled!

December 11th, 2013
3:25 pm

I will admit ,pudy is a he’ll of a drug!’

How is ding to u ladies?

kimmie

December 11th, 2013
3:27 pm

Exiled:

Suuuunnneeeey days!
Everybody loves them
But tell me baby
Can you stand the rain????

MsAtl

December 11th, 2013
3:38 pm

Related to today’s topic:
I don’t know if I have a problem or what should I call it. I’m 26 years of age soon to be 27. I been in a relationship for the past two years going into our 3rd year. I don’t know how should I put this. My boyfriend and I do not seem to get along with some things In our relationship. I have one boy he is 8 starting Grade 4 next year. My boyfriend has 3 kids. 1 from he’s ex girlfriend and 2 from his ex wife (our kids does/did not stay with us). Me and my boyfriend used to stay together until three months ago when things did not go too well. He just fell out of love with me well in fact that’s what he said. The problem is; whenever I come home to visit my mother he used to have a problem with me going to visit my family or my friends I don’t know if I’m too immature or too much of a social person. Or is there something wrong with me talking to people. He will text or call me the whole day or night. Asking when r u going home? Why are u still there? And then well end up having an argument over it. And I will feel all embarrassed in front of my friends n family having to explain what I’m doing with them. I really don’t know if I’m at fault or if I’m over reacting in all of this. We have a lot of difficulties in our relationship like finances, most of the time I was the one that had to pay the rent, the food and the car. Then I lost my job 5 months ago. Then things started changing to the worse. He promised to pay for my studies which never happened I had to ask from my family for assistance. I just can not seem to find a reason to why am I still with him. For me it was never about money. I was never about the car. I just feel like the way he is treating me is not the way I imagined myself to b treated. Is love suppose to be this way? I recently moved out of his house and when I looked back I did not see any furniture that I could say this belongs to me. I was too busy spending my money on our daily expenses. Now I’m wondering why is he still with me? Am I taking care of him in this relationship or us? I’m so confused. Does he really love me the way I think he does.

kimmie

December 11th, 2013
3:41 pm

He just fell out of love with me well in fact that’s what he said.

Does he really love me the way I think he does.

:shock:

MsAtl – I’m so confused too.

MsAtl

December 11th, 2013
3:48 pm

Kimmie- That was one long letter! She confused me too.

Exiled!

December 11th, 2013
3:57 pm

That’s kinda typical with most chics…self doubt that is induced by desire to be loved.

Plus dude with 3 kids must be smashing her good.

That’s an explosive and confusing chemical reaction.

God’s Nuclear bomb! :lol:

kimmie

December 11th, 2013
4:00 pm

Exiled – I don’t know about “most” chicks, but no dude’s stuff is THAT good, to put up with such stupidity – and spend MY money!

At least you guys can’t say she isn’t LOYAL!!LOL!!!

Leggs

December 11th, 2013
4:00 pm

She said if it were her & her husband she would just say EVEN!! – Good one. Now, both have to get through the aftermath of being faced with the confirmation of the sexual/emotional betrayal. The man may have a harder time adjusting the picture in his mind of his wife laying up with another.

“…whenever I come home to visit my mother he used to have a problem with me going to visit my family or my friends I don’t know if I’m too immature or too much of a social person.” – Well, if you obliged him, you’re easily controllable and immature. After reading the entire letter/post, I’m confused. Neither one needs to be in a relationship.

Oh, I see you guys are confused too. She moved out, wondering now why is he still with her, is this the way love is supposed to be…if you have to write a letter like that you already know the answer.

Exiled!

December 11th, 2013
4:04 pm

The hook made her Loyal
@ Kimmie

MsAtl

December 11th, 2013
4:06 pm

Leggs- nah, if you write a letter like that, you need to go visit 2C or Durty, lol.

Leggs

December 11th, 2013
4:08 pm

Your absolutely right, MsAtl. That is crazy!!!!

Leggs

December 11th, 2013
4:14 pm

Leggs

December 11th, 2013
4:27 pm

You can “freely” walk outside and feel the breeze through your hair and the sun’s warmth on your skin.

Be Thankful.

2CPTG©

December 11th, 2013
4:27 pm

Slim…should I schedule you an appt?

Durty, cutie has to sit on my lap couch first…..

Durty Burd

December 11th, 2013
4:30 pm

Send her my way, I will get her straight. MsAtl…You will get a referral gift…Barry White’s greatest hits! :wink:

SlimNu and Kimmie…. His severance and unemployment covered the bills for 6 months, without having to touch the savings. This is over thinking the situation which make men RUN FOREST RUN! Dude stated I am going back to school I will take at least 6 months off and she could not handle..

Durty Burd

December 11th, 2013
4:32 pm

Celisea you are kinda surly, fiesty and spicy all in one…Man if I knew this back in 2009 you would have been mine! hehehehehehe!

SlimNu

December 11th, 2013
4:34 pm

Durty – your last post is making my head hurt lolol

Durty Burd

December 11th, 2013
4:35 pm

MsAtl…Is grown and mature have the conversation, believe and support the plan without nagging and you might have a winner. Like MsAtl stated as long as he is doing leg work to get to the next level, the nagging would not have been a requirement.

GOOOOOD GROWN MATURE WOMEN deserve GOOD GROWN MATURE MEN!

Durty Burd

December 11th, 2013
4:36 pm

SlimNu…Which one?

Durty Burd

December 11th, 2013
4:37 pm

SlimNu I am just trying to dominate the blog, so anything might be typed today! :)

We still need to have that conversation off-line!

2CPTG©

December 11th, 2013
4:37 pm

Slim….who’s the culprit that broke your heart?

SlimNu

December 11th, 2013
4:42 pm

Durty – I was referring to the one about your friend taking extra time to chill in between jobs.

Hmm, what will be my drink of choice tonight? Think i’m feeling some hot sake or a nice glass of wine :oops:

2C – The Grinch that Stole Christmas lol You know imma bounce back ;-)

2CPTG©

December 11th, 2013
4:47 pm

Slim, purely hypothetical, let’s say I was in your ‘hood, and knowing the grinch stole your christmas, would you care to partake of some wine with me? you know I hate to see you sad….

SlimNu

December 11th, 2013
4:50 pm

2C – Hypothetically, I just might to get my mind off of things….

Anyhoo, ya’lls have a guuuud evening now ya hear.

daddy swiss

December 11th, 2013
4:52 pm

Another totally off topic rant:

There is a reason log files exist. It’s so that you can check them instead of asking me what happened every time something doesn’t work as expected. But then, I guess that wouldn’t be lazy or stupid enough, so where’s the fun in that? lol

Celisea

December 11th, 2013
4:56 pm

Well narcissistic might be too strong of a word…also I spell it wrong at 4:55…my bad.

Night :)

2CPTG©

December 11th, 2013
4:58 pm

Celie, who would you recommend? I need some new clients……

SlimNu

December 11th, 2013
4:58 pm

Huh??? what was that about? Did I miss something???

Celisea

December 11th, 2013
4:59 pm

daddy swiss…not sure how well that’s gonna go over while sitting in your lap couch

Celisea

December 11th, 2013
4:59 pm

If you gotta ask, apparently so….hahahaha

Celisea

December 11th, 2013
5:00 pm

Chile it’s 5:00, I’m gone home…can’t wait to climb on my bed and chill :)

Toodles!

SlimNu

December 11th, 2013
5:05 pm

I’m not even about to go there with you….i’m out.

daddy swiss

December 11th, 2013
5:06 pm

Um, Cel… the post was prefaced with “totally off topic rant” for a reason.