accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Expensive breakup?

A Georgia man has been ordered to pay his ex 50,000 for “breach of promise to marry” and I have to say he had it coming. As I learned more details of the case, I became more astounded at the unmitigated gall of this dude.

He cheated on her twice so she asked him to move out and filed a lawsuit because she had left her job to be a stay at home mother. She basically changed her entire life because he gave her a ring and had a child with him. Logical, yes? Well, things come undone and now the true character of this guy comes out. I mean he sunk so low as to try to call their relationship “prostitute and john” as a legal defense!

I suppose this particular case can serve as cautionary tale about dating, love, marriage and relationships. You have to know who you are with – like reaaaally know them. If you think about it, there are usually signs that lets us know about a person’s character. I wonder why kind of signs she missed?

This kind of thing is almost enough to scare you off from dating altogether. Alas, I am a romantic and I have hope that this kind of misadventures is rare and isolated. I can actually see why many of my guy friends are so hesitant to invest time, money, and energy into women until they get to know them better. It really is a risk we all take because who wants to end up in court with an expensive break up?

Would you ever take any of your exes to court?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

170 comments Add your comment

lee

December 9th, 2013
7:02 am

Don’t kill this lady meaning me,
but it was her fault. just because he asked her to stay at home didn’t mean she should of, i would not have unless we were married , just living together is just that, and having a ring for 10 years i mean she should of gotten the clue after 2 years and have yet to walk down the isle. She also cheated on him so two cheats doesn’t make you right, she should of left on the first one, you can cry fowl after numerous times someone cheats on you– you made the decision to stay the first time–put on your big girl panties and suck it up.

He should pay child support and thats it.

People need to stop being sue happy and take responsibility for their actions.

Im feeling some kind of way today, watch out world. lol

Single and Happy

December 9th, 2013
7:41 am

Hey all

Here’s another one that will make headlines now, but be a blurb when it’s overturned in appeals court.

I’m with Lee, start taking responsibility for your own actions!

This kind of thing is almost enough to scare you off from dating altogether. Now what does their stupidity have to do with me.

I can actually see why many of my guy friends are so hesitant to invest time, money, and energy into women until they get to know them better. now this should be common practice for both sexes, stop rushing into things because the package looks good!

YesSheIsCute

December 9th, 2013
7:44 am

South Florida was great! I got a warm welcome back to Atlanta complete with clouds, rain, and 45° weather.

Anyway I don’t think I would take any of my exes to court unless there was a promissory note involved in which he didn’t pay, damage to my personal property or loss of livelihood. Yes you can sue for palimony, I think she got what she deserved and so did he. Hopefully they both learned from this. Hopefully she will invest her money wisely and be a little more cautious with the next guy regarding her heart mind body. Hopefully he will continue to play the field and leave playing house out of it. Love ain’t love no more.

Miss Moni

December 9th, 2013
8:03 am

GOOD Monday Morning MIA!!! :-)

So WHO told her to quit her job just because she got engaged??? Like WHERE in the world does that make ANY sense??? I too vote that it was her own fault!!! She needs to get her life (well now she’ll be able to make a come up with her newly awarded $50,000), SMH!!!

Lady~

December 9th, 2013
8:30 am

Happy Birthday Leggs!!!!!!

Kat

December 9th, 2013
8:38 am

A 10-year engagement? Fool me one year, shame on you; fool me 10 years, shame on me!

Miss Moni

December 9th, 2013
8:49 am

Oh YES, today is Leggs birthday! ENJOY your day & have the time of your life!!! ;-)

SlimNu

December 9th, 2013
8:50 am

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEGGS!! WHOOP WHOOP! :-D

SlimNu

December 9th, 2013
8:55 am

This story sounds stupid…..

Lee – I’m with you today, I think i’m feeling some kind of way too but not really lol

Reio

December 9th, 2013
9:11 am

Morning all!

“If you think about it, there are usually signs that lets us know about a person’s character.”

What signs? Some people are extremely clever. Accomplished in deception and slight of hand. Enough to fool anybody. It’s especially true when you really love and care about an individual. Smoke gets in your eyes. Your ability to reason and think logically, is swept away.

She believed in him. Too much. Much too much. And she should have placed demands on him, and been prepared to leave, if these demands were not met. She did none of this. Too bad.

MsAtl

December 9th, 2013
9:25 am

Morning All!

Leggs- Happy birthday!

YSIC- Welcome back!

We have a saying- bad facts make bad law. He should appeal for that reason. That said, it is my understanding that the money she received was because they owned the house together and not necessarily as breach of promise to marry. (I need to go back and re-read the opinion, I read it last week). They could have settled the property issues out of court and if not, the case should have been limited to that. The whole thing was crazy! She admitted that she cheated also, so there was a mutual breach. As for her quitting her job to stay home with the kids, dumb move because that made her dependent on him.

All in all, their stupidity does not affect how I view love and relationships.

Button

December 9th, 2013
9:30 am

I heard about that story on the ride in this morning. What a shame on both parts. Him for mulitple cheating and shame on her for not only agreeing to marry him but putting her livlihood in his hands. He said he gave her an engagement ring but didn’t asked her to marry him. How low can you go with that statement? Like Lee said all she is entitled to is child support and nothing else.

Break ups are bad as it is. I remember one in particular even though the reason was nowhere near as described above, it still was bad and I learned going forward to cut the head off the snake right away to keep from being bit.

As for taking an ex to court. I watched court shows, and the things exes sue each other for is always about money or items left at the resident. I like watching judge Mathis, Judy, and Alex those shows keep me LOL’ing.

Good morning!

Button

December 9th, 2013
9:32 am

Ms Atl – All in all, their stupidity does not affect how I view love and relationships.<— love it!

Button

December 9th, 2013
9:41 am

After reading the story, she put the man and her own child out of the house. So she’s not entitled to child support. hmmmm

SlimNu

December 9th, 2013
9:45 am

Break ups are bad as it is…. I learned going forward to cut the head off the snake right away to keep from being bit.

Button – I love this…I think i’m going to be this way going forward. I hate to be so guarded and suspicious of folks but when things happen, it almost makes you have to be that way.

I’ve got an icebox where my heart used to be

Sassy Me

December 9th, 2013
9:52 am

Awww shucky ducky…. Happy B’earthday Leggs!!!

shame on both parts. Him for mulitple cheating and shame on her for not only agreeing to marry him but putting her livlihood in his hands.

That pretty much says it for me. First off, I have an issue with the fact that they were engaged for “10 YEARS”…even though he gave her a $10,000 engagement ring. She was naive to put her livlihood in his hands…but hey she still came up. Hopefully this will be a lesson learned for both parties.

disco

December 9th, 2013
9:53 am

good morning.

diva – indeed you are a romantic if you don’t think old girl has any responsibility in this matter. she quit her job??? why??? because some dude SAID he was going to marry her. shame on her. she changed her life for him without checking to see how he changed his for her. I repeat, shame on her. that chick needs to learn some lessons, get some business and keep it moving.

2CPTG©

December 9th, 2013
9:54 am

“breach of promise to marry”???

I wouldn’t give her sh!t…..

disco

December 9th, 2013
9:57 am

slim – not sure why but your “whoop whoop” made me think of that stupid A “hump day” commerical. I hate that commercial though so many others love it. have you seen it at the movies? daggone camel tiptoeing through the theatre advising folks about their cellphones. too much.

2CPTG©

December 9th, 2013
9:58 am

Cutie…..it’s been 70+ degrees for the past two weeks!!!! mid December, and I’m sweating….

MsAtl

December 9th, 2013
9:59 am

“According to Smith, $43,500 represented half of the equity in the house the couple had shared.”

It appears that she did not receive any money based on the breach of promise to marry claim, but the case law is still out there and other folks can rely on this case to file suit against their exes. Good grief! Let the floodgates open. Does every breakup now become a lawsuit?

disco

December 9th, 2013
10:00 am

2C – you sound like me. there comes a time when you just might have to be in contempt of court. lol.

random – read an obituary this morning. you know how folks can leave comments/messages? well how come someone wrote “I’ve known (the deceased) since juvie”. I’m not sure how I feel about that. is it funny? is it real? is it a shame? all of the above? juvie? dang.

Miss Moni

December 9th, 2013
10:00 am

“First off, I have an issue with the fact that they were engaged for “10 YEARS”…

-Sassy That’s it right there for me as well!!! At what point does that make any good sense???

2CPTG©

December 9th, 2013
10:07 am

MsAtl, who owns the house, though? If she put him out, then it sounds like she does….and if that’s the case, she has all the equity, right? Cause she still owns it….or am I missing something….

kimmie

December 9th, 2013
10:07 am

Morning Gang!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEGGS!!!!!!

On topic – There are so many things in this case that should serve as a teachable moment to those it may apply to. There is enough stupidity to go around. But nothing, and I mean nothing about it should have anything to do with anyone else’s outlook on love and relationships. Folks have been doing dumb stuff in the name of love since the beginning of time and they will stop only when the world ends. Everyone has to handle their own situation in whatever way they see fit and take ownership. Won’t have nothing to do with how Joe & Jane handle theirs.

I can actually see why many of my guy friends are so hesitant to invest time, money, and energy into women until they get to know them better.

Uhm – this should be, as my dad loved to say, Standard Operating Procedure with BOTH genders. But alot of this has nothing to do with why some guys are lazy, cheap daters. Those types will find anything to use as a cop-out. Yeah, I said that.

None of my exes ever gave me anything worth going to court over. I didn’t shack with any of them or cosign or get financially tangled up with any, so I think we’re good there!LOL!!!

kimmie

December 9th, 2013
10:11 am

They were not “engaged” for 10 years, in my book. He gave her a “shut up” ring. He basically bought 10 years of silence.

SlimNu

December 9th, 2013
10:13 am

disco – No i haven’t seen that particular one but i have a co-worker that thinks the original commercial is hilarious! It’s so overdone at this point.

MsAtl

December 9th, 2013
10:13 am

2C- The report states that he asked her to move out. If she received the money in exchange for her portion, she should have signed the deed over to him and she would no longer own any portion of the home. Some of the issues were handled in mediation, so I am sure that would have been done.

MsAtl

December 9th, 2013
10:14 am

Kimmie- Oooh, stop! That is exactly what he did!

Celisea

December 9th, 2013
10:15 am

A Georgia man has been ordered to pay his ex 50,000 for “breach of promise to marry” and I have to say he had it coming

Diva, Diva, Diva….really? Look, folks are adults. It was her choice (big dummy) to quit working, based on a ring and no marriage. Who does that?? You want to be guaranteed, then do the dang thing first….and in order. Heck you know if folks get brand new on you after the vows, what the heck is holding them to mouthed committments? She was foolish IMO. Yes, dude was crap, but hey know the folks you’re dealing with and bedding. IJS

I’m all for suing for tanglible reasons, but cause buddy bad out and bad mouth you?? C’mon now!!

This kind of thing is almost enough to scare you off from dating altogether

No it’s not. Only if you subscribe to stupid.

Celisea

December 9th, 2013
10:16 am

backed not bad

Miss Moni

December 9th, 2013
10:17 am

“He gave her a “shut up” ring.”

-Kimmie I totally agree that’s exactly what he did!!!

kimmie

December 9th, 2013
10:17 am

SlimNu

December 9th, 2013
10:18 am

shut up ring aka pacifier for grown women… lol

Sassy Me

December 9th, 2013
10:28 am

At what point does that make any good sense???

Miss Moni, it doesn’t..but as it’s already been alluded to, it was a “shut up” ring..but 10 years is a bit much…IMO.

She’d better take that 43K and start over somewhere. She ought to be glad she even got that…

kimmie

December 9th, 2013
10:31 am

Atl/Moni/Slim – I can hear my husband now. He does not believe in “long” engagements. He’s like if you go past a year unless there are some real extenuating circumstances, you are being strung along. He’s serious about that too. He’s like if you’re not ready to go on and do it, don’t get engaged cause you’re not serious. We knew a few folks that had wedding dates set 2 or more years down the road. He swears they are not going to happen. Sadly he’s probably right. He can take it a little far sometimes though. We’ve known a few friends that had to change the date by a few months, but they married. I had to convince him they were not being strung along!

SlimNu

December 9th, 2013
10:35 am

kimmie – I think there is some merit to what your honey boo says. I’m going to adopt that way of thinking too especially if me and whoever is really putting a lot of time and energy into our relationship.

Button

December 9th, 2013
10:38 am

IF ever there was a court for emotional distress caused by an ex *sigh* the line would be wrapped around the world 10 folds.

SlimNu

December 9th, 2013
10:44 am

Is it too early for O/T? just wanted to know if anyone else watched RHOA and saw Kandi’s mom acting like a fool. lol Like really?! smh

kimmie

December 9th, 2013
10:45 am

Slim – Yes, it was interesting coming from a man. My mom used to talk like that, but hearing a man say it made it crystal clear.

Miss Moni

December 9th, 2013
10:47 am

-Kimmie I agree with you husband on his point of view on long engagements. I think the same way.

Knew this one couple that was engaged for about 5 years or so. The guy went and had an outside child during that time and they still got married! Go figure!!!

Celisea

December 9th, 2013
10:50 am

Well, I say let folks do what works for them. They’re the only ones that have to deal with it. Sort of like dang if you do or don’t….as most folks are judgemental. She marries him quick and find out he’s a nut and folks will say she should have gotten to know him. If she marries him after a couple of years….according to folks, she’s being strung along.

Do you and what works for you….bump what outsiders say or think :)

disco

December 9th, 2013
10:53 am

kimmie – I think longer engagements are more acceptable when the parties are younger. when you reach a certain age you need to get up off the pot. my neighbor for instance says they haven’t set a date. I anticipate they’ll be married in a matter of months. she’s a teacher so I figure they’ll either do it over the Christmas break, spring break or wait until summer. my money’s on sooner over later. lol.

Celisea

December 9th, 2013
10:56 am

Young folks are the only ones I say should realllly have a lengthy engagement if there’s going to be one…IMO. Being older, discernment should be one of the traits you’ve acquired over the years. You shouldn’t need time, your mama and your fam to help you see if the one you have is a keeper. If you can’t see through shenanigans (as in hear and smell it a mile away), then you oughtta get bamboozled. Grown folks should know better, in every way. You don’t need a lifetime for that.

YesSheIsCute

December 9th, 2013
10:59 am

@2c I was sweating at times. It was pretty breezy so that was good :) there were a lot of couples on the beach at night so next time you taking me so I don’t feel left out. :lol:

Happy birthday leggs!!!!!! :D

Sassy Me

December 9th, 2013
11:04 am

anyone else watched RHOA and saw Kandi’s mom acting like a fool.

~SlimNu, I didn’t catch the episode itself but I’ve seen/heard enough snippets to know Mama Joyce needs to chill out…and I mean that respectfully. She was embarrassing…. She’s been like that since she first appeared on the show while Kandi was dating A.J….whom her mom vigorously disliked..

kimmie

December 9th, 2013
11:07 am

She marries him quick and find out he’s a nut and folks will say she should have gotten to know him.

Cel – You are right, you must do what works for the 2 of you cause folks will talk either way. I’ve seen folks date for years and be married for years, yet when one nuts up you have the “she shoulda known” crew chiming in!lol I even had some folks accusing my hubs of stringing me along since we dated for 3 years before getting engaged.

I’m really talking about once the engagement has actually happened. You should be “decided” at that point, not still getting to know, in my book. I guess apparently in my hubs book too.lol

SlimNu

December 9th, 2013
11:12 am

Sassy – She acts how many mother’s act when it comes to their sons….Hardly see that with daughters but she looks a hot mess. At some point, she has to let Kandi live her life and make her own decisions. More importantly, she needs her OWN man to keep her occupied and hopefully make her happier than the bitter soul she portrays.

kimmie

December 9th, 2013
11:17 am

Kandi does not come across as stupid to me the few times I’ve watched the show or seen her in interviews. They say she is a very good businesswoman. Her mother needs to trust that her daughter can decide for herself what is best.

Sassy Me

December 9th, 2013
11:26 am

but she looks a hot mess.

Okay?! Had she tried to snap on the right hoodrat she would’ve gotten more than she bargained for…

she needs her OWN man to keep her occupied

Either that or she needs a hobby/charity organization she could start or donate her time and resources to. ANYthing other than the way she’s wanting to live both her AND Kandi’s life…