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Dating: Does age matter?

I have been reading reports on the tragic death of actor Paul Walker in the news. He spent a lot of time in Atlanta and everyone he met said that he seemed like such a wonderful person. Then I read something about his 23 year old girlfriend of seven years and I quickly did the math. He would have been 33 years old when he met and began dating her at age 16.

I don’t want to speak ill of the dead but that kind of creeped me out a bit. I know age doesn’t matter to a lot of single people. Honestly, many of the guys I am friends with date younger than their own age, and the women date older. I just wonder what a 16 year old and a 33 year old would really have in common? Setting aside the whole “Hollywood is like a different planet” aspect of this – when does age matter?

I remember being 30 and dating a barely 20 year old guy. He kept telling me that the age difference didn’t bother him but I never got used to it. We had such different life experiences at the time. There were some things we were never going to connect on. In hindsight, I wonder if I was being unfair about it. Can a relationship with significant age difference really work? Is it harder or easier than any other relationship with people who are closer in age?

What do you think? Could you date someone who is over ten years younger than you are? What do you think could be the biggest hurdle?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

122 comments Add your comment

YesSheIsCute

December 6th, 2013
6:10 am

First! It really just depends on the maturity level of both involved and how well their personalities mesh to be honest. But something over 15 years is a little creepy.

lee

December 6th, 2013
7:09 am

Yessheiscute i agree.

No one in their 30’s should be dating a teenager — that is not mentally compatible in my book -something is wrong upstairs in my opinion.
would like to say more but need to head on to work.
tgif

Exiled!

December 6th, 2013
8:12 am

I can understand it creeping out somebody(me too) when somebody dates a 16 year old or younger. However,I think some people really mature faster beyond their age. Some kids take on real adult responsibilities at a very adolescent age,sometimes due to death of parents or absence of adults in their lives. They then interact with adult folks and learning life lessons thru wouldn’t have learnt if their situation were different.

So I think it can happen.

Off topic:
I really got teary and sobbed last nite,watching CNN following the death of Mandela. The sacrifices this man made and his selflessness of saving just one presidential term and the symbolism of that gesture really weighed heavy on me. It is unheard of in Africa,if you understand the politics.
I hope all the corrupt leaders in
Africa and all over the world will take a leaf from the works of this man.

MHDSRIP!
#################################################################################

……….Back to your scheduled blogging………

Single & Happy

December 6th, 2013
8:20 am

Hey all

I don’t want to speak ill of the dead but that kind of creeped me out a bit. Isn’t it funny that that lowdown MF doesn’t ever die!

When 2 people are grown they can make grown up decisions so age ain’t nothing but a number! But you have to make sure both of you are grown!!

Can a relationship with significant age difference really work? yes they can, they’ve worked for me.

Is it harder or easier than any other relationship with people who are closer in age? For me, there hasn’t been that much difference that I’ve noticed.

Could you date someone who is over ten years younger than you are? Yes I could, I’ve dated 21 years younger.

Exiled!

December 6th, 2013
8:22 am

disco

December 6th, 2013
8:49 am

good morning. the age old question huh? lol. I’ll say age matters and it doesn’t matter. like single said, if you are grown do you. still, there are instances where I would flip. for instance the neighbor that acted like she wanted to push up on my son when he was in high school. I would have bust her head for it then and even now that he’s grown I would still bust her head for it. lol. sometimes things are just principal.

leggs – my itchy palm never lets me down and you are on your numbers game. I did not play your numbers but 958 came out straight. I did get home and have an unexpected check from an unexpected source though.

Reio

December 6th, 2013
9:07 am

Morning all!

Well, age, in my opinion, matters, depending on how young the younger one is. For instance, suppose one is 20, the other 35. This could be problematic cause the younger one is so young. However, if one is 45 and the other is 30, well, there is still that 15 year difference, but the younger one is 30. Being 30 makes all the difference in the world.

But, truth be told, if they are both grown, what the heck? Try it. Hope it works out.

Can’t see myself with a much younger woman though. The thought of it is not creepy, it’s just that beyond rolling in the hay, what else is there? Don’t know. Can’t be much though. I told the story on here about the time I went through the check-out at WalMart and the cashier(twenty something) pinched my butt. Well, I’m married, plus, she looked to be younger than my youngest daughter. A dirty dog would have followed up with her. But even if I had been single, she would have never seen me again, unless she just happened to be there the next time I went to WalMart. Lil stankin heffa.

SlimNu

December 6th, 2013
9:09 am

Date someone over 10 years YOUNGER than me…..HEYAL NAW!!!! I dated a guy that was maybe 4yrs younger than me…he lied about his age in the beginning. He had some mature responsible ways about him but he still had that milk behind his ears. He was definitely soaking up all he could from me though…I told ya’ll about this dude…He ended up dating some other chick while dating me…gave us the same dayum gift for Christmas. I gave that ish back

Reio

December 6th, 2013
9:28 am

That lil WalMart chick may still be there, but I haven’t seen her since that incident. I’ve been back several times since, but haven’t seen her. I pretty much shop like a lot of men. I know what I want, I usually know where to find it, I go get It, and head for the check-out. So, if that lil girl was there, I wouldn’t have noticed unless I went through her line again. Which probably wouldn’t have happened anyway, cause I like to use the self check-out area whenever I can, unless I’m buying fruit, then I’ll let the cashier ring it up.

MsAtl

December 6th, 2013
9:28 am

Morning All!

Umm, yeah, I was a bit creeped out over walker’s girlfriend too. That just seems too much like Chester the Molester to me…

Can a relationship with significant age difference really work? Yes, depends on the people involved.

Is it harder or easier than any other relationship with people who are closer in age? I can’t say that it’s either. It would depend on the ages of the people. Like Reio said 20 & 35 is different than 30 & 45. As you mature, goals change and the way you view things evolve.

Could you date someone who is over ten years younger than you are? Yes. The last man I dated was 10 years younger.

Slim- Ha! The ex gave me & his mistress one of the same gifts. That ish went back also!

disco

December 6th, 2013
9:31 am

reio – I just re-read and saw where you called her a little stankin heffa. that’s funny.

all the comments on maturity kind of tie into why age doesn’t/shouldn’t matter. there are some 20 year olds that are more mature, focused, responsible, driven etc. than some 50 year olds walking around.

SlimNu

December 6th, 2013
9:32 am

MsAtl – Ain’t that just trifling!!! I’ll never forget, after the spotlight caught up with his shenanigans, we met up in a mall parking lot to re-exchange our gifts back…Oh did I forget to mention he also wrote both of us the same dayum poem and framed it… Mitches i tell ya :roll:

SlimNu

December 6th, 2013
9:37 am

I recently reached out to Mr. Too busy and guess what? He’s STILL busy…says he’s back and forth from Boston to NY but he did meet someone during his travels that he’s apparently crazy about. Oh well…

MsAtl

December 6th, 2013
9:46 am

Slim- “Oh did I forget to mention he also wrote both of us the same dayum poem and framed it… Mitches i tell ya!”
Lolol! The ex actually asked me to return jewelry he had given me for Christmas, saying that I left him only a month after he gave me expensive gifts. Wth? Nobody told you to give me expensive gifts when you knew you were skankin! Well, come to find out, he wanted to return my gifts to clear his credit account so the mistress could keep her engagement ring. Ha! The ring was repo’ed. Mitches, I tell ya! (in my SlimNu voice)

MsAtl

December 6th, 2013
9:49 am

Disco- I agree. It may not be an issue if the 20 year old doesn’t want children, but if she does and the 50 year old is done, they are incompatible. Other than issues like that, I don’t think age is a big deal. Well, let me backtrack- I thought it was a big deal when the 20 year hit on me a few months ago and I could picture myself telling him and my 19 year old son to get off the video games, lol.

Leggs

December 6th, 2013
9:50 am

Did not know that about him, dating her at age 16. That wouldn’t sit right with me if it was my daughter. Like that Bimbo’s mother allowing her to marry that actor from The Green Mile. I must say, she exploited him to further her obsession of being everywhere in public scantily dressed.

I’ve dated a man 8 yrs my senior while in my 40’s, but that’s the oldest. I’ve never dated anyone younger than me. Well, I did marry and he was one year younger than myself.

Uugh, I played 593 and 594 falls.

Good, good Friday morning!

MsAtl

December 6th, 2013
9:53 am

Leggs- What numbers do you have for today???

disco

December 6th, 2013
9:55 am

2CPTG©

December 6th, 2013
9:55 am

I could date a chic 10 years younger than me….right now, but not 10 years ago……and I could date a chic 10 years older than me…..I’m at that nice age where I get the best of both worlds …

kimmie

December 6th, 2013
9:57 am

Morning All!!

RIP Nelson Mandela. There will never be another like you!!

Exiled – I thought of you and my kid’s pediatrician, who is from South Africa as well. In fact, she has a small bust of Mandela in her office. He meant a lot to people all over the world and set the bar very high, where it should be.

On topic – I have always been attracted to men close to my age. It does depend on the people involved though. I am so not feeling anyone 20+ trying to date anyone still in high school. Having said that, some folks do mature faster than others. I know thinking back for me, I was not mature at 16 to even entertain the thought of a guy college age, much less in his 30’s. Plus with my parents, that just was not going to happen. The thought of it would have creeped me out anyway. It was always in the back of my mind that grown adult men would expect grown adult things from me. I was not ready and I recognized that.

SlimNu

December 6th, 2013
9:58 am

MsAtl – Dayum Gina! lol

disco

December 6th, 2013
9:59 am

I’m not going to throw any specific number out there but there is a certain age where a man sort of loses his stride. you know – when his gait goes from swagger to shuffle? lol. I’m starting to notice more and more that, while men aren’t quite bent over and hobbling yet, their backs and knees and hips are on borrowed time. having said that, I never thought I’d date younger but if “shuffling” men is the alternative I might have to reconsider.

kimmie

December 6th, 2013
10:00 am

2C 2C 2C – Was Scandal OFF THE CHAIN last night or what??!!!!

Leggs

December 6th, 2013
10:04 am

disco ~ if only you had played. Nonetheless, you still got a check from an unexpected source. Any money not expected makes for a great day!

MsAtl

December 6th, 2013
10:06 am

Disco- I know what you mean. The guy that I bowled with earlier this year was 13 years older than me. While he wasn’t “old” he acted it. Everything I talked about-ziplining, Nascar racing, rock climbing, etc- he was like, Not me, I’m not doing that. Thus, while his age per se was not an issue, we were incompatible due to vastly different energy levels.

kimmie

December 6th, 2013
10:06 am

from swagger to shuffle

Disco – You are right. Plus, I can imagine it’s not easy just beginning to date someone at the shuffle stage, versus someone you married at the swagger stage!

disco

December 6th, 2013
10:12 am

kimmie – I hate to tell some of these “old” dudes (lol) that they just don’t look strong anymore. after all, you already know they ain’t trying to hear it and they are straight going to be in denial. I have one guy friend that (in my eyes) has aged considerably in 5 years. he still looks more or less the same but he just lost that pep in his step. he’s starting to shuffle.

Leggs

December 6th, 2013
10:14 am

MsAtl ~ I had a dream last night that the lottery commissioner read this blog and came to investigate me on how I’m semi-picking right numbers.

kimmie ~ when Father Pope smiled looking at the pics of Olivia I thought that strange with him supposedly being so ruthless in how he talks to her. Never imagined it was Mama Pope he was protecting her from. Poor Cyrus, is playa handbook needs to be burned.

MsAtl

December 6th, 2013
10:17 am

Leggs- I am laughing at your dream. Imagine finding out we have our very own blog number runner. I recall when I was a kid, the neighborhood number runner would fill a garbage can with coins and toss the coins off his stoop for the kids to grab on Halloween. Man, we had Now & Laters for weeks!

2CPTG©

December 6th, 2013
10:19 am

kimmie – that sh!t was crazy!!! Huck had me trippin from jump……what he said, “talk a little, hush a little” and I see he set Quinn and ol dude up…..cause I was like I know Huck ain’ just let her get away like that….

Reio

December 6th, 2013
10:21 am

Well, some of these “shuffling dudes” are wising up a bit.

In the vast majority of instances where I’ve seen big age gaps in couples, it’s almost always much older men with younger women. I can remember going to one of the local VFW’s(Veterans of Foreign Wars) some years ago. They are usually little holes in the wall kinda places, where older military veterans go to drink, socialize, and tell war stories/lies. Reminisce about the ‘good ole days’.

Anyway, I get there around 7′ish or so. Kinda empty. Quiet. I go to the bar, ordered a Coke, or Rum & Coke. Not a big drinker. Light conversation with the bartender…Place started to fill. Couples mostly. A few single men, many single women, and small groups of women would walk in together. Two things that struck me: The relative age differences of the men and women that came in(and walking out too), and the actual volume(total number) of these women. I was surprised. Young women like that should be in the bigger, more swanky type places, where there are more people in their age group.

This particular VFW had swivel type barstools, so I could kinda swing around and observe. Whenever my eyes would meet the eyes of these young women, I got the feeling that were saying to me “Don’t say it. I know what you’re thinking, but don’t say a word.” Or, “If you want, I’ll come over and sit in your lap, old man…” I also noticed that the women that came alone or in a small groups of female friends would not approach men at the bar, but if you went to sit at one of the tables, eventually one of them, or two of them would come to ask to join you. I saw this lot. Usually it was one woman approaching on man, a few times it was two women approaching one man, but I never saw more than two women with one man. It often seemed to be the case of one woman goes to talk to one of these guys and that was it. In the case of two women, the first one went over, and a bit later, one of her friends would join them. They tended to stay for quite a while and then leave together. These young girls appeared happy(Great pretenders), and I KNOW these old dudes were happy, so what the heck? He gets what he wants and the lil girls get paid. No problem. Friday through Sunday nights is when this action takes place. Monday through Thursday these VFW’s are ghost towns. Matter of fact, three of the four here are closed Monday through Thursday. They know what the deal is. Hehehehehe……….

2CPTG©

December 6th, 2013
10:22 am

“swagger to shuffle”…….that’s why I gotta hurry up and get boo’d up while I still got my swagger….

disco

December 6th, 2013
10:23 am

atl – I have memories of our neighborhood number runner too. he used to sit outside in his “kitchen table chair” and kept a tiny little notepad in his shirt pocket. you could play a number for a dime. my grandmother always played numbers. I recently dreamed about playing numbers for her (her regular numbers). variations of those numbers were falling for weeks. me? I’m too tight with my money to get into gambling on the regular. I may donate a little to the casino or get a powerball ticket here and there but playing numbers everyday? never that.

Reio

December 6th, 2013
10:28 am

2CPTG© – You can always go to the VFW. Young chicks everywhere. Lookin for older gents with deeper pockets than what they are used to. Jus sayin.

Leggs

December 6th, 2013
10:28 am

“…we were incompatible due to vastly different energy levels.” – Therein lies my problem.

disco ~ I’m sitting here cracking up. I went to a concert a few months ago with this guy 9 years my senior. I couldn’t help but take note of the “old man shuffle.” As we were walking back to our car, which was too far for either of our comfort, the shuffle became more and more prominent. I wanted to break out the George Jefferson walk and turn to him and say “come on man put some pep in your step.”

MsAtl ~ I’m still feeling 598, but I think I’m going to add 904 to my picks.

disco

December 6th, 2013
10:32 am

leggs – the shuffle is real and it is so not a good look. poor fellas.

leggs – considering how your other number dropped last night I’m semi tempted to try your 904. guess it will depend on if I have any change in the car. lol.

2CPTG©

December 6th, 2013
10:39 am

Reio….. I see it around here too; Sunday nights are the “grown folks” night at the local hole in the wall, and the young gals be out in droves…..

Reio

December 6th, 2013
10:40 am

Maybe one day I’ll go to a VFW and sit at a table and see what happens. I betcha it won’t matter whether I have a shuffle or not, I’ll be approached by one or more of these young, money grubbing, lil witches. Guaranteed. This “shuffle” sounds like a natural part of the aging process. So, I suppose, I’ll be shuffling along at some point down the road. But, for these old guys and young gals, a shuffle is, apparently, something they all seem to have found a way to deal with.

disco

December 6th, 2013
10:46 am

reio – for a quick hustle, the shuffle is usually the sign of an easier mark. after all the oldheads recognize that they gotta pay to play. it’s the young cats that are typically still running around talking about they don’t have to buy it. targeting a shuffler is just easier. lol.

now, imo, it’s actually kind of discouraging to be seriously dating (or looking to date) and your demographic is leading into the shufflers. you even look at them and imagine what they might have been like in their prime and ask yourself if you can content yourself with a shell of what used to be. (lol. in my own mind I heard theme music on that one…)

Reio

December 6th, 2013
10:47 am

You know, as I think about it, suppose I was older, perhaps my wife has passed, and I’m a bit further up in age, I still can’t see myself showing up a VFW or any place, for that matter, with the expressed intent on hookin up with one or two of these young, stankin, chulun, just to use them for a night, or a year or two, knowing it’s not a real relationship and nothing will come of it. But that’s just me though.

kimmie

December 6th, 2013
10:48 am

Leggs/Disco – Well those young chicks can have that shuffle, always have. If it’s gone be some shuffling, we’ll be shuffling together, growing old together. But starting out, one skipping the other shuffling, no way, can’t hang.

I’m still on my diet/healthy living kick, been working out and clothes getting lose. I have energy for days. My hubs works out with me. We not shuffling for a long time if I have anything to do with it. I love getting out and seeing the world, taking in fresh air, moving. Some tired old couch potato would annoy the hell out of me!!! And it’s not just older men either, some of these dudes 35, 45 start that tired mess.

Reio

December 6th, 2013
10:53 am

If I were female and as young as some of these girls appeared, seems like it would turn my stomach to sit in a man’s lap that’s as old as my grandpa. Let alone kiss his azz. Good gracious!! Hell Naw!!!
That cash would have to be sho nuff kinda nice. But, if these heffas are desperate for cash and willing to do it, who am I to talk?

Leggs

December 6th, 2013
10:53 am

Reio ~ long post, but I remember going to American Legion and the frat house off Greenbriar Pkwy witnessing the exact same thing. No, I was never one of the young women trying to cozy up to the older men, but I was on the sidelines laughing at those who did.

MsAtl ~ every time I hear “numbers runner,” I think of the scene in Malcom X where Denzel didn’t play West Indian Archie’s number and it fell straight. West Indian Archie said a man’s rep u tation is all he has in the streets and Denzel ruined his. Never write your numbers down, commit them to memory was his motto.

One thing I feel certain of is 904 is going to drop. Heck, I put $3 on it last night. It’s coming!

Leggs

December 6th, 2013
10:56 am

Reio ~ I make light of it, but yeah the “shuffle” is part of the aging process. Hope I’m around long enough to shuffle too. Right now, I’m quite spry (rofl).

disco

December 6th, 2013
10:57 am

kimmie – key words “growing old together”. some of us singles are approaching old or already there. therein lies a big problem. lol. a friend of mine was telling me about her trials with entering menopause. while I was empathetic enough I was like “omg – I have a friend going through menopause. this is not good”.

reio – while some of the young chicks do the do there is a lot of truth to some of those old men just wanting company.

Leggs

December 6th, 2013
10:58 am

“…one skipping the other shuffling, no way, can’t hang.” – the visual has me cracking up. Hope she’s not popping gum along with that skipping.

kimmie

December 6th, 2013
10:59 am

it would turn my stomach to sit in a man’s lap that’s as old as my grandpa. Let alone kiss his azz

Reio – thats always been my take on it. I’ve just never been the one. Not enough money in the world!

Leggs – noting those numbers, gonna go play today!

disco

December 6th, 2013
11:02 am

when I was in my 20s I had an old head (probably 50 or so) who didn’t want much more than to bask in my presence. occasionally he acted like he wanted to press the issue of getting some but I was just like “ewww” and he never tried too hard. dude was quick to come out the pocket, always checked to see what I “needed”. he had a son a few years older than mine. what his son got, my son got. shoot, one time he sponsored me to go visit another sponsor. lol. of course he didn’t know that. just told him I was going to kick it with some friends. lol. I eventually hooked him up with the mother of a bad date. they hit it off. go figure.

kimmie

December 6th, 2013
11:04 am

Disco – Yeah, I barely made it in time, married, so I can imagine. Some of these dudes just start it up early though. They got an old mindset at 30! Cheap, tired and given up on any fun. Ready for the rocking chair. Heck, I could probably deal with an older guy that fights it and goes down swinging, with some energy!

Sassy Me

December 6th, 2013
11:06 am

I wanted to break out the George Jefferson walk and turn to him and say “come on man put some pep in your step.”

I can sooo see you doing that :lol:

In the past I’ve typically dated men ~4-5 years younger than I…but Mr. Bermuda is around my age. That being said, the widest age gap I’ve dealt with was 12 years…my boy toy was 12 years my junior but given the nature of our “situation” it worked out wonderfully.

#sweetmemories