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Dating: Does age matter?

I have been reading reports on the tragic death of actor Paul Walker in the news. He spent a lot of time in Atlanta and everyone he met said that he seemed like such a wonderful person. Then I read something about his 23 year old girlfriend of seven years and I quickly did the math. He would have been 33 years old when he met and began dating her at age 16.

I don’t want to speak ill of the dead but that kind of creeped me out a bit. I know age doesn’t matter to a lot of single people. Honestly, many of the guys I am friends with date younger than their own age, and the women date older. I just wonder what a 16 year old and a 33 year old would really have in common? Setting aside the whole “Hollywood is like a different planet” aspect of this – when does age matter?

I remember being 30 and dating a barely 20 year old guy. He kept telling me that the age difference didn’t bother him but I never got used to it. We had such different life experiences at the time. There were some things we were never going to connect on. In hindsight, I wonder if I was being unfair about it. Can a relationship with significant age difference really work? Is it harder or easier than any other relationship with people who are closer in age?

What do you think? Could you date someone who is over ten years younger than you are? What do you think could be the biggest hurdle?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

122 comments Add your comment

Reio

December 6th, 2013
11:07 am

disco – Yes, I hear ya. Not all these old dudes are up to anything. In fact, I would imagine, that a great many of them are just out for laughs and giggles, and would rather enjoy the company of younger women when they do. Perhaps it makes them feel better, in between dialysis, and cataract surgery. Most of them proly couldn’t do much more than hug and kiss, even if they wanted too. And these lil girls know it. Father Time & Mother Nature will team up on us all. Even these young gals, many years from now. It’s eminent.

disco

December 6th, 2013
11:11 am

okay. not to change the subject but my post reminded me. lol. I mentioned this on here before early on and was met with some shock and disbelief. so the chick that I hooked up with my oldhead. I went out with her son for a bit and when we finally decide to do the do, he’s short. where he messed up at is prancing his little short behind across the room without turning the lights out. I promptly told him “this ain’t gone work” and told him in the future he might want to sneak that up on folks. ain’t nobody got time for that. my friends still clown me for actually saying that to him. whatever.

Sassy Me

December 6th, 2013
11:11 am

one time he sponsored me to go visit another sponsor.

Ain’t nuthin wrong with that. :mrgreen:

I eventually hooked him up with the mother of a bad date. they hit it off. go figure.

That was nice and selfless of you.

Sassy Me

December 6th, 2013
11:17 am

when we finally decide to do the do, he’s short

:shock:

Houston we have a problem!!

told him in the future he might want to sneak that up on folks.

That’s funny as hell…I can only imagine the look hurt/”confrusion”/disappointment on lil man’s face when you said that.

Who has time for an teenie weenie?…miss me with that

disco

December 6th, 2013
11:18 am

sassy – selfless? shrugs. I didn’t want him. thing is, he stayed cool. that chick got brand new soon as she had a man. I wanted to tell her if I wanted him I’d take him from her. old trick. lol.

Robert

December 6th, 2013
11:18 am

“Does Age Matter?”

Yes it does. I hate to see a attractive young woman (20+) with a older man (40+). I hate to see a older woman (40+ cougars) with a younger man (20+). Obviously there are no real men and women in their family to stop it. In my family we do not play that. For example if my (20+) year old daughter, niece or cousin were crazy enough to come home with a older man (40+) they deserve to be embarrassed. The problem is no longer theirs, and they have no control on the final outcome. I will make the older man (40+) an offer he can not refuse. No man wants another man to tell him he is wrong and question him about his inappropriate behavior. I will tell him he is not welcome in my family. I will tell my (20+) year old daughter, niece or cousin never disrespect me again. Bringing a older man (40+) in my presence is disrespectful.

Respect starts at home and if you do not teach your (20+) year old daughters, nieces, nephews and cousins what are the consequences for their inappropriate behavior.

Reio

December 6th, 2013
11:21 am

“this ain’t gone work” Lol!!

At least you were honest. Told his azz point blank. You didn’t string him along. You did him a favor. I’m sure he didn’t appreciate it, but you actually did the right thing. Cause it was important to you.

Reio

December 6th, 2013
11:24 am

Robert – I hope you’re being sarcastic, but something tells me you are not. Right?

disco

December 6th, 2013
11:25 am

yeah for robert!!!! a little “controversy” to stir things up. in general, I’m not sweating who dates who. if I were to show out behind it then it’s for personal reasons or GP. 20 something is way old enough to make their bed, lie in it and get up and change the sheets if that’s what they want to do.

am I the only one that thinks that a lot of robert’s posts fall under the “I wish a ninja would” category?

Leggs

December 6th, 2013
11:29 am

SassyMe ~ you know I definitely would. :lol:

disco ~ your slick mouth always cracks me up. Slick meaning blunt and truthful. Mama used to tell me my slick mouth would get me slapped a lot. Other than her and the man I was in bed with calling out another’s name, no one else has dared to slap me (whew, I’m laughing so hard I’m tearing up).

Leggs

December 6th, 2013
11:33 am

Robert ~ why you taking who they’re dating as a diss to you? A person in their 20’s is good and grown and if they’re no longer attached to your purse strings why not let them love who they want to love. Although, a 20 year difference is a bitter pill to swallow, but they’re not disrespecting you.

disco ~ most of Robert’s post I envision him speaking at a podium sounding like James Earl Jones.

Reio

December 6th, 2013
11:37 am

In some parts of my old neighborhood, these kinds of relationships were kinda common. Anyway, if Robert tried to do what he said he would do, he’d get shot or “cut up” back in the day. Jus sayin.

Robert

December 6th, 2013
11:37 am

@Reio/disco – “In my family we do not play that”. Respect starts at home. I am glad none of you (40+) year old Georgia country “bama’s” are in my presence. I would hate to make you an offer you could not refuse. Thank you for staying away from my (20+) year old daughters, nieces and cousins. I would hate to catch a case for your inappropriate behavior.

disco

December 6th, 2013
11:38 am

leggs – I started to type what I envision and the recalled that you just reminded me about my mouth. I don’t envision anything. lol.

disco

December 6th, 2013
11:41 am

robert – unless your nephew is dating your wife (lol), it’s not a respect issue. I know a chick who pulled her aunt’s husband. the family was all torn up about that. especially her mother. yep. she took her momma’s sister’s man. now granted she and dude (her used to be uncle) are still married but I don’t know if that makes it better or worse.

Robert

December 6th, 2013
11:47 am

@disco – You have dysfunctional families who encourage inappropriate behavior. I am glad my family does not.

Reio

December 6th, 2013
11:47 am

Robert – Well, if I were my current age, and not married and unattached, first, I would never approach your daughters or nieces, in their 20’s. I’m too old for that. But, lets just say that I did, and you found out, and you then presented me “An offer I could not refuse” Well, I’ll just say this; I’m not the violent type, but I will defend myself and my loved ones. Baby boy, you just might have to come face to face with a sawed off, double barreled, 12-guage, pump, shotgun, with a pistol grip, in defense of myself. And that’s the truth.

2CPTG©

December 6th, 2013
11:50 am

Robert said this same sh!t before…..and I’ll say my same piece again, damn you! If your grown ass niece wants to date an older dude so be it, ain’ sh!t you can, or gon’ do!

disco

December 6th, 2013
11:51 am

robert – not dysfunctional. just parents that recognize that kids grow up and make their own choices. good choices, bad choices. it’s their life to live. who they date is their business. how you feel about who they date is your business.

disco

December 6th, 2013
11:52 am

2C / Reio – right, right. lol.

Leggs

December 6th, 2013
11:55 am

Robert ~ why you name calling? You do realize many here are transplants, and not country bama’s. Your bravado is commendable, but like Reio said, you might find yourself splattered on the pavement.

disco ~ :lol: :lol: :lol:

Reio

December 6th, 2013
11:58 am

Robert – Before yo azz hits the ground, I’ll be on my cell phone dialing 911. When the cops show up, they will arrest me, cause I’ll admit to everything right there on the spot. Won’t be no trial. No “Not guilty” plea. Just an explanation of the events, and let the chips fall where they may.

Reio

December 6th, 2013
12:03 pm

Hell, I’ll even request that the coroner returns the shotgun pellets that they find in Robert during the autopsy as souvenirs. Sh!t.

2CPTG©

December 6th, 2013
12:11 pm

country bamas, huh? maybe you don’t want anyone dating your younger nieces, and cousins because that would intefere with your own warped behaviors, hunh man? you trynna keep ‘em for yourself, is that it? fvckin hillbilly.

Single & Happy

December 6th, 2013
12:12 pm

Hey again all

Now we all no Robert is control freak!! Lives in his own little world.

MsAtl

December 6th, 2013
12:12 pm

Disco/Reio/2C- I agree. Once you pass a certain age, you are free to date whomever you wish. I may not choose who my children date, but they are grown and thus, it is not my choice to make. I fail to see how it is disrespectful.

Having said that, I remember my girlfriend chasing a woman’s car down the street. The woman was about 35 years old and had brought my friend’s 19 year old son home at 7 in the morning. I was rolling! We still laugh about it to this day.

Reio

December 6th, 2013
12:14 pm

2CPTG© -, Yeah. He’s used to keeping it in the family. Any outsiders would mess up his good thang.

Reio

December 6th, 2013
12:17 pm

MsAtl – Well, 19 is still kinda young, and she was 35. But I would have to agree, even at 19, there is not much a parent can do. Beyond praying they make better decisions going forward.

Robert

December 6th, 2013
12:19 pm

@reio – “Baby boy, you just might have to come face to face with a sawed off, double barreled, 12-guage, pump, shotgun, with a pistol grip, in defense of myself”

I grew-up in the mean streets of DC (wild, wild west). Do you think you can scare me with guns? It takes a lot of courage to take that ass whipping when you are wrong. I bet you before you can pull the trigger I will disarm you with little or no difficulty and take your guns. That is a fact. Any coward can pull the trigger. Cowards shoot first and ask questions later.

Reio

December 6th, 2013
12:24 pm

“Cowards shoot first and ask questions later.”

Yes, but guess what? I’m not a coward.

disco

December 6th, 2013
12:29 pm

atl – I had a friend (40s) who was creeping with her friend’s son (20s). I told her straight up if it was my son I would whoop her behind. that one would be on GP.

Robert

December 6th, 2013
12:31 pm

@reio – “Yes, but guess what? I’m not a coward.” –

Only a coward would bring a gun to a fist fight out of “fear” of getting their ass kicked. Why would you bring a gun to a fist fight? Coward…

Reio

December 6th, 2013
12:31 pm

Robert – By the way, I wonder if you would be so kind as to introduce me to your 20 something daughter and nieces. Hell, I heard one of’em was kinda cute. Would ya do that for me? Please?

Reio

December 6th, 2013
12:35 pm

” Why would you bring a gun to a fist fight? Coward…”

Better to have more than is needed, than not enough. You don’t present yourself as fair and trustworthy. Sorry. I’d rather be prepared. But, what about hookin me up with your daughter, you know, the cute young one. Huh? Ok? Would ya? Could ya? Huh?

disco

December 6th, 2013
12:36 pm

reio – you’se a nut.

so… robert – we see where you stand on age. what about all the other dating possibilities? race? gender? religion? marital status (can your daughter/niece date a divorced/widowed man?) educational background? lol. I guess it doesn’t matter though as I seem to recall several stories of your daughter dating “undesirables” either by actual desire or just desire to irk daddy. dysfunctional much? lol.

Robert

December 6th, 2013
12:39 pm

@reio – “Better to have more than is needed, than not enough. You don’t present yourself as fair and trustworthy. Sorry. I’d rather be prepared”

That was the same excuse George Zimmerman used when he was getting his ass kicked by Trayvon Martin. Trayvon Martin died because a coward thought his life was in danger. You act just like George Zimmerman.

MsAtl

December 6th, 2013
12:46 pm

Disco- Your 12:29; I am assuming because she would have crossed the friend line?

Durty Burd

December 6th, 2013
12:48 pm

Good Afternoon!

Man these youngin out right now, whew they are too hot to trot! They will stared you down and act like they got a chance!
When they start flirting I usually change the subject. I had one at work who is about 18yrs younger than I am started rubbing her itty bitties on me, then talking about how she can perform like a p-star…She almost got me with that one! hehehehehe!

Where is my future baby Celisea? Sweetheart do you need me to come over and rub your feet while we review your client’s accounts? lol

Robert

December 6th, 2013
12:51 pm

@disco – ” what about all the other dating possibilities? race? gender? religion? marital status (can your daughter/niece date a divorced/widowed man?) educational background? ”

I would like to believe that we live in the 21st century and race has no place-2013. My family, friends and neighbors have diversity (Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, African). Diversity is our greatest strength and we all should encourage our young people to welcome the opportunity to embrace diversity.

Today we here stories about people against immigration reform. Who are these people? Do they have any family, friends and neighbors who are minorities (Black, Hispanic, Asian, etc.)? Hatred, fear and bigotry are not family values.

Reio

December 6th, 2013
12:51 pm

Trayvon was an innocent young fellow, walking along the sidewalk heading home. When a cold blooded killer started following him because of his gender and race. This dirty dog stopped his car, threw it in park, cut the engine, opened the door, got out, walked over and proceeded to kill a young man who had done nothing wrong but be blessed with black skin by God, while in his mothers womb. How Dare you compare this foolishness that you speak, to what happened to young Trayvon. You worthless, good for nothing, two-legged dog. Just like yo mama. By the way, if you would, tell yo mama and yo wife, if they want, to stop by, they can come over with your daughters, Jus sayin.

Durty Burd

December 6th, 2013
12:54 pm

People will do what people will do! Funny when I was younger in 20’s I was not interested in younger ladies. When I got to my 30’s I started plowing them down…No that I am in 40’s I have to run from them…hehehehehe!

Robert I know what you are saying, but you have to learn to let go! It’s a hard lesson, but it must be done.

Durty Burd

December 6th, 2013
12:56 pm

Lucky Leggs….You are giving out way too many numbers? Now what are we playing today? 409, 958, 593, heck I need to keep some this money so I can take someone out to Checker’s…..hehehehehehe!

Durty Burd

December 6th, 2013
1:00 pm

Disco I am surprised you have not met anyone at the gym. That is a for sure pick-up spot. I am witness a quite a few holiday hook-ups…Um you do still go to the gym right? Or are you on the coach reading and eat upside down cake? lol

Robert

December 6th, 2013
1:04 pm

@reio – “You worthless, good for nothing, two-legged dog. Just like yo mama”

I know for a fact that your mama wishes she had access to the “morning after pill” so she could have flushed your sorry ass down the toilet. What a disgrace…

SlimNu

December 6th, 2013
1:16 pm

Nice to see the fellas banter back and forth for once…I know the women need a break sometimes. lol

disco – Why in the hell did I make a mistake and turn it to the Christmas music channel????!!! :shock:

Durty Burd

December 6th, 2013
1:42 pm

Now see Paul Walker needed to be slapped really hard for dating a 16 yr old.
Hey SLimNu are you sleeping better?

Leggs

December 6th, 2013
2:15 pm

“I bet you before you can pull the trigger I will disarm you with little or no difficulty and take your ” guns. – All depends on where you’re standing. All this big bad talk behind computer screen is what we were talking about earlier in the week.

“You don’t present yourself as fair and trustworthy. Sorry. I’d rather be prepared.” – Very fair rebuttal since he did say he grew up in the mean streets of DC. Not much righteousness takes place in the streets. You learn some low down dirty tricks!

Damn, reading Reio’s 12:51 confirms he’s not afraid of us city women. Hell, from the read of things, he’s not afraid of anyone.

Durty ~ not giving out too many numbers. The numbers I gave out yesterday fell. Today has a new number.

SlimNu ~ yes, it’s kinda good to see the fellows banter. Man, they’re ruthless. That morning after pill was way below the belt.

Leggs

December 6th, 2013
2:18 pm

Rather the number fell where disco is. I still feel it will fall here….958 or 904.

2CPTG©

December 6th, 2013
2:18 pm

I’mma lover, not a fighter….but I see if I ever need bodyguard, Reio got them “thangs” on deck……Slim, would you date a wuss? :shy:

disco

December 6th, 2013
2:24 pm

lover not a fighter? why not both? it’s called multi-tasking. lol.