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Love or loneliness?

The other day, I read something that really caught my attention. I’m paraphrasing but it was something like “Until you become comfortable with being alone, you will never know if you are choosing someone out of love or loneliness.” Do you agree with this?

There is something that clicked when I read it because I know that being single has its challenges, but being with the wrong person is my personal version of hell.
Perhaps it is my inner commitment phobia that causes that anxiety.

I have gone for long periods of time without a serious relationship. When I meet someone great, I feel pretty confident that I am not picking that special person because I am lonely. I have done that before and it did NOT end well. Thankfully, I can recall that awful situation every time I feel tempted to call the toxic bachelor who is a bigger commitment phobe than I am or the now married ex-boyfriend who still carries a torch.

Do you ever wonder if you are dating simply out of loneliness? Does the fear of being alone make you endure way too much unnecessary dating drama?

HAPPY MONDAY!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

191 comments Add your comment

Single & Happy

December 2nd, 2013
6:02 am

Hello everyone

I tell people something along these lines all the time.

If you don’t know how to make yourself happy, how do you expect someone else to know how to do it!!

The same goes for being lonely, If you know how to make yourself happy, you will never be lonely. you won’t expect someone, or something to fill a void in your life, instead they will enhance your life. Because you will be picking them for that reason.

Does the fear of being alone make you endure way too much unnecessary dating drama? For some people, yes but not for me, Love will, but no way for loneliness.

lee

December 2nd, 2013
6:55 am

Single stated it all in his post.

I know several people who are utterly alone and miserable in their marriage, yet they stay because they do not want to be alone.

I maybe alone but im not lonely, doing things that make me happy all the time

Hope everyone’s Turkey was great.

Miss Moni

December 2nd, 2013
8:12 am

GOOD Monday Morning MIA!!! :-) *My co-worker got breakfast for the office, so I’m all smiles!*

Do you ever wonder if you are dating simply out of loneliness? Nope, I’ve learned from previous experiences that I’d rather WAIT for quality versus just dating anybody. I’ve seen people choose someone based on lonliness and sooner or later it just doesn’t go well. When the REAL reasons come out as to why they are together, someone’s feelings gets hurt.

There is a BIG difference between being single & enjoying your singleness versus being single & thirsty/desperate!!!

SlimNu

December 2nd, 2013
8:54 am

Good morning MIA, I hope you all enjoyed the holiday.

It’s a terrible feeling to be with someone you want to be with and still feel alone.
Anyway, i’m still on an insomnia kick and only really got one night of sleep in over a week. I think i’m going to go postal pretty soon. I just don’t want to get in the habit of taking something just to catch some zzzz’s :???:

Miss Moni

December 2nd, 2013
8:59 am

-Slim Please get some sleep ASAP! Lack of sleep is the cause for people doing a many of things. . . You may just need to try something small like change your pillows.

SlimNu

December 2nd, 2013
9:12 am

Moni – I know it’s important to get sleep but it really is catching up to me…I do not feel like my usual fun loving self. It’s funny you mentioned pillows, because I have noticed i can’t seem to get comfortable anymore. I have those temper-pedic pillows but maybe it’s time for some new ones even though they aren’t that old at all. I’m feeling like Pookie right about now. :shock:

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
9:14 am

Morning all!!

Hope everyone enjoyed the Thanksgiving holiday. I did. We went out to Marietta. My daughter said it’s actually in Kennesaw (wherever that is). But it was nice. Got there Wednesday and left Friday. She lives in some area called ‘Chastain’ something or other. It was wonderful.

Anyway; Don’t know much about being lonely. Particularly when I was younger, during my dating years, I could always look people up for anything. I never did, but I could even look up some women to pass the time with(I believed). There were a number of them that I felt would spend some time with me, no string attached. But, I suppose, knowing that that option was available was more than enough to keep me grounded, and not go out to find someone to use. Even if she was willing to be used. I got the feeling that they(these women), didn’t really care about a relationship, as long as I could show up, with some regularity, and give them what they wanted, or felt they needed.

And I agree that there are a lot of lonely people out there because they have yet to discover a way to make themselves happy, which leads them to seek it in others. Too bad. So sad.

Miss Moni

December 2nd, 2013
9:20 am

Awwww, I understand. I’m so not a nice person when I don’t get my sleep. You may want to consider having a deep tissue massage as well. That has been known to help one get a good night’s sleep.

SlimNu

December 2nd, 2013
9:23 am

Moni – I know something that could put me to sleep but um… :???:

SlimNu

December 2nd, 2013
9:32 am

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
9:32 am

” I know something that could put me to sleep but um… :???:

Sounds like the same remedy my wife uses…heheheee.

But, you know what I heard? People that can’t get much sleep in December 2013 are actually dying, and have only 6-10 days left to live. Think I read that somewhere. So, get your will in order, along with your personal effects, cause the grim reaper has just parked in front of your house, threw it in park, cut the engine, removed the keys, opened the door, and put his left foot on the ground. Your final hour approaches. You’ll be missed……Hehehehehe.

SlimNu

December 2nd, 2013
9:33 am

Reio – Well dayum! Go ahead and throw the dirt on me why dontcha. :roll:

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
9:36 am

“Well dayum! Go ahead and throw the dirt on me why dontcha”

Won’t have to. Cemetery workers are paid to do that. They’re pros. You just pick your lot out as soon as you can. Leave the rest up to them. Ok?

MsAtl

December 2nd, 2013
9:44 am

Morning All!

Well damn Reio- can she at least enjoy her last Christmas? Lol.

Slim- Seriously, get some sleep. Try the eucalyptus pillow mist from Bath & Body works or some chamomile tea.

On topic- Good post Single- I say the same thing; you have to be comfortable being alone. Sometimes folks are not happy being alone and try to make other people responsible for their happiness, which ends up making both people miserable. Alone does not mean lonely. Hell, I feel less lonely now than I did in my marriage and I certainly was not alone then.

Btw- Yes, I ate too much over the holiday. I hear the Wii calling me…

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
9:47 am

I enjoyed all the food out there in Marietta. The only thing that I didn’t like immediately, was my daughter’s string bean casserole. Had some kind of soup or creamy stuff in it. Less creamy stuff and more string beans is what I thought it needed. But who am I? I can boil water if someone is watching and helping me do it.

Miss Moni

December 2nd, 2013
9:47 am

-Slim Don’t go there, LOL!!!

Single & Happy

December 2nd, 2013
9:48 am

Hey slim, is everything all right? is something not letting you sleep?

SlimNu

December 2nd, 2013
9:48 am

Reio – I don’t have the energy for you this morning….In my mind, i’m smashing your head between my pointer finger and thumb. Anyway….

moving right along

SlimNu

December 2nd, 2013
9:49 am

Moni :lol:

Single – Not really sure but I had hoped it would pass by now. Something just doesn’t feel right.

kimmie

December 2nd, 2013
9:53 am

Morning Lovely Blog People!!

I had a nice T-day, quiet. My first stab at making dressing and pumpkin pie were a smashing success, I believe! I got compliments!

Reio – Did your wife go thru with her baking plans?

On topic – I understand it can be tempting to latch on to someone out of loneliness, especially for those that are not comfortable being by themselves and especially during the holidays. I have been there. Please resist the urge at all costs. It will just lead to a whole new set of issues. So much that lonely will start to look real good to you again! I learned to get busy doing something, anything, to occupy my time. Get a hobby, go grab your neice or nephew and hang out with them, just get busy. You’ll soon find that you don’t have time to be lonely.

Miss Moni

December 2nd, 2013
9:53 am

I can honestly say that I did NOT overeat during Thanksgiving! :-)

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
9:53 am

SlimNu – Don’t worry. If you wait long enough, you’ll fall asleep, and you’ll feel fine. At least you know what will work. Just get that, and you should be fine. It’s worked in the past, sounds like.

Single & Happy

December 2nd, 2013
9:56 am

MsAtl, you should have joined me at the gym Thurs morning, burn the calories before I put them on.

Slim, are you used to sleeping alone?

MsAtl

December 2nd, 2013
10:02 am

Single- Oh sure, now you tell me!

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
10:04 am

” Did your wife go thru with her baking plans?”

Well, kinda, sorta. As the holiday approached, she did the usual, Showing up at Publix and pretty much buying them out. Bring all kinda sh!t home and leaving it out. Not putting stuff away in the pantry like she usually does. But for some reason, she didn’t bake anything yet. I suppose our going out to Georgia had a lot to do with it. But there is still a bunch of vanilla extract, self rising flour, butter, baking chocolate, eggs, Graham cracker pie crusts…out the azz, in the kitchen. And that bag of sweet potatoes is still on the kitchen floor. I ain’t asked no questions, but looks like it might be a tough Christmas season coming up. I just hope she talks to our daughter, and find out how to make sure the pie crusts are baked under the bottom like her’s was.

kimmie

December 2nd, 2013
10:04 am

Single – I went out for a walk in the sunny but freezing morning of T-day. My hubs thought I was crazy, but it was exhillerating! That would not have been something I would have normally done, but I am really making an effort to not only drop a few pounds, but just lead a healthier lifestyle. It’s working because I am really feeling good!

SlimNu

December 2nd, 2013
10:05 am

Single – Um, i’m used to both. lol

Single & Happy

December 2nd, 2013
10:07 am

msAtl, I thought everybody knew that (LOL)

Robert

December 2nd, 2013
10:07 am

” Does the fear of being alone make you endure way too much unnecessary dating drama”

Women “fear” being alone especially during the holiday season. Some women will settle for less and share a man (married/single/down-low) regardless of the consequences of their actions.

Men “fear” having to live up to the expectations of being in a serious relationship especially during the holiday’s (visiting his/her family, friends, etc.). Some men will try to buy their woman’s love and affection (money, flowers, etc.) as a substitute for real love hoping their women will choose his financial strengths (job, money, etc.) over his relationship weaknesses ( insecurity, trust, etc.).

The solution for women is “do not settle for less” (married/single/down-low). Any man that does not value you, does not deserve you.

The solution for men is “don’t try to buy your woman’s love and affection” (money, flowers, etc.). Any woman will recognize the difference. Money is not a substitute for real love.

disco

December 2nd, 2013
10:10 am

good morning.

first things first, as long as folks recognize that alone and lonely aren’t the same thing we’re all good. I’ve been alone and not lonely and with folks and lonely as heck. I’ve been talking to folks (friends/family/male suitors) and wondering why the heck I’m wasting this time in my life talking to them. not being lonely is about a connection that doesn’t necessarily come from there being more than one person around.

disco

December 2nd, 2013
10:11 am

reio – dang is right re slim. I read a book recently that was narrated by the grim reaper. dude gets a bad rap. no one understands just how hard he works AND he never gets time off. food for thought. lol.

Single & Happy

December 2nd, 2013
10:12 am

Kimmie, I was surprised by how many people were at the gym. guess alot of people had the same idea. I’m not a big eater, so the holidays are not a problem for me.

kimmie

December 2nd, 2013
10:13 am

Reio – LOL!! The only thing I’m scared of on that list is the self-rising flour. The only thing I use that for is making biscuits. I’d feel better if she had cake flour, like Swans Down. That is good not only for cakes, but cookies and breads and pie crusts too. Nice and feather-light. If she’s fooling with self-rising and not that experienced baking, well that concerns me. Baking is really chemistry, after all…….

Miss Moni

December 2nd, 2013
10:14 am

-Disco Hey!!! I definitely don’t believe in wasting my time. Some folks will spend time with someone who they aren’t interested in at all, just so they won’t be alone. Ain’t nobody got time for that, LOL!!!

disco

December 2nd, 2013
10:16 am

I know both men and women who are way past a certain age (40s, 50s 60s) who have never in their entire lives lived alone. some folks are definitely a lot more comfortable with it than others. I have friends/family members that keep what I call “open houses” because they like having people around. me? if you don’t call, you don’t get it. there will be no random drop bys and my house will never be the hangout spot. different strokes.

Miss Moni

December 2nd, 2013
10:16 am

-Kimmie I would love for Reio to take pics of what she actually creates/bakes. . . Sounds like it’s going to be real interesting.

-Reio Just smile and eat it anyway! :-D

disco

December 2nd, 2013
10:18 am

moni – lol. I spend time with folks I’m not interested in but it’s not about a lonely/being alone thing. it’s because we cool and can hang out but I just don’t like them “like that”. I actually prefer time alone. I have to be in a certain frame of mind to go be around folks which is why I decline a lot of invitations especially to holiday gatherings. my logic is I don’t want to be bothered with my family, why go through the motions with someone else’s family.

MsAtl

December 2nd, 2013
10:25 am

Disco- I know what you mean. My last holiday company leaves tomorrow and all I can think about is being alone, getting into a t-shirt and short, putting on some music, and cleaning up after my company, lol.

Single & Happy

December 2nd, 2013
10:27 am

Disco, people don’t seem to understand that I’m not lonely. and I let them have that, not my problem.

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
10:27 am

I was a bit ticked off though. Although I didn’t let on about it. But would you believe my daughter and some of her buddies actually Bar-B-Cued, Wednesday? Yes, they did. Only problem is, on Thanksgiving, I didn’t find out about it till later that night, when one of the guests had, what looked to be, a rib bone in her hand as I rounded the corner coming from the living room.

“Excuse me, is that Bar-B-Cue you have?”, “Yes.”, “Where’d you get it?”, “it’s over there in the oven.”, “Oh yea? Which one?”(Daughter has a double oven), “The one on the bottom.”

I walked over to the ovens, bent down, opened the bottom door, saw the pan, pulled the foil back, and sure enough, Bar-B-Cue ribs for days! Sh!t!! All this time, I coulda been chowing down on ribs. Didn’t even know they were there. I found room for a little though. But Friday morning? I got up, found them ribs in the fridge, heated some up, and had at it.

My wife came in. “Boy!, What wrong with you? Eatin ribs this early in the morning.”, “Found out about’em late last night.”, “Oh, you didn’t know?”, “No. I didn’t know.”, “Well, I thought you did. They were here all along. She didn’t tell you?”, “Naw. Heffa didn’t tell me nuthin……..” Great ribs. Greens were quite delicious as well. Best breakfast in years.

disco

December 2nd, 2013
10:30 am

reio – you sound like my house. we had “thanksgiving breakfast”. lol. why not? all the food’s done. why sit around waiting for the afternoon when all the food is done by 10am. lol.

kimmie

December 2nd, 2013
10:34 am

Reio – Dang, that sounds good!!!

SlimNu

December 2nd, 2013
10:34 am

I was surprised by how many people were at the gym

Single – Well be prepared for an influx of newbies in the gym. It’s almost that time for the New Year Resolutioner’s lol

Miss Moni

December 2nd, 2013
10:35 am

-Disco Trust me, I totally understand having to be in the right frame of mind to be around folks. Some days you just don’t want to be bothered. I enjoy my “Me Time”! :-)

Single & Happy

December 2nd, 2013
10:37 am

Slim, there will be a few, but you don’t get that many at 5 am, most of them show up in the evenings. Takes real dedication to be there before it opens.

Disco, my sister from another mother (LOL) food is done, get it while it’s hot (LOL)

disco

December 2nd, 2013
10:38 am

random: my neighbor got engaged over the holiday weekend. my first thought was “Dang. she’s going to move and either sell or rent her house” followed by a quick prayer “dear god, please don’t let me get another janky neighbor”. hey, I already have one irksome neighbor, I can’t be sandwiched between two.

SlimNu

December 2nd, 2013
10:41 am

disco – Well congrats to your neighbor and fingers crossed you won’t get a cray cray replacement. lol

Exiled

December 2nd, 2013
10:43 am

Uall just make it too hard for urselves…u Siingle and Lonely folks!

nothing wrong in being lonely and wanting somebody to come fill the void….nobody says it has to be Anybody!

..starting on the defensive after Thanksgiving? smdh

I wld rather folks admit theyre lonely than pretend that u single and happy!

I know a single lady that always visiting folks..etc..and she says she aint lonely…swearing in the face,”I aint lonely!” hmmmpfff

Some people! :lol:

Hello MIA

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
10:47 am

Sent my azz to Kroger’s once, Wednesday. Shortly after we arrived. “Dad, I need you to do something”, “Yea babe, what’s that?”, “I need you to go to Kroger’s for me.”, “Kroger’s? What’s that?” (Ain’t no Kroger’s in Alabama. Used to be, back in the 60’s. Had forgotten all about it). “It’s a grocery story.”, “Oh,yea,yea. Sure, what’ll you need?”, “Some white vinegar, and heavy duty aluminum foil.”, “Ok. Just tell me how to get there.” Question. Ladies, what’s so special about white vinegar and heavy duty aluminum foil? What’s wrong with regular vinegar(If there is such a thing), and regular aluminum foil?

MsAtl

December 2nd, 2013
10:50 am

Ex- Why do you believe that a single person cannot be happy? I am single and I am happy. That is not to say that I don’t have fleeting moments of happiness, but my general disposition is one of happiness. I also value my space and quiet time. While it would be nice to have someone for certain times, generally I am fine in the space I am in right now. Later? Who knows, we are ever evolving…

2CPTG©

December 2nd, 2013
10:50 am

being single is cool, ‘cept you don’t get sh!t for Christmas! but it’s ok, cause I spoil myself…..

Single & Happy

December 2nd, 2013
10:51 am

I wld rather folks admit theyre lonely than pretend that u single and happy!

not my problem.

And then there are the people who are obviously very unhappy, and don’t understand how others aren’t like them.

MsAtl

December 2nd, 2013
10:52 am

Reio- maybe she wanted to make sure you didn’t get apple cider or malt vinegar? The heavy duty foil is thicker.

Miss Moni

December 2nd, 2013
10:55 am

-Disco Your neighbor may have her new hubby move in with her. . . You never know these days. . .

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
11:00 am

MsAtl – Thanks. just wondering. Didn’t know there were different kinds of vinegar and different kinds of aluminum foil. Thought vinegar was vinegar, and foil was foil. Learn something every 11 days. I guess.

Exiled

December 2nd, 2013
11:00 am

Ex- Why do you believe that a single person cannot be happy?

@MsAtl…if the single person dont have a boo or a boo and side boos,or ho s or even side hustles(like Disco), no way they can be happy.

Now this aint me proclaiming sh%^t! Thats how GOD designed folks.

Now MsAtl,if u tell me u single but u got something going on (rotation or whatever) to get ur groove on and alleviate the building pressure, i respect that(ladies dont tell i knnow..but still).

Now to put up a face and pretend u single,non going on in ur life and u aint lonely…..please!

..PS..matter of fact,i got some batteries to hand out for Xmas if any single ladies are interested.. :lol:

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
11:07 am

Ex- Are you suggesting that, the absence of a S/O in ones life, is a barrier to happiness? If so? How so? I don’t understand.

MsAtl

December 2nd, 2013
11:08 am

Ex-”@MsAtl…if the single person dont have a boo or a boo and side boos,or ho s or even side hustles(like Disco), no way they can be happy.” —-You relying on those old 85% of people believe I unicorns surveys again?????

MsAtl

December 2nd, 2013
11:10 am

Btw- I will take those batteries anyway- My son wiped me out while he was home. Even took the batteries out my remote.

Single & Happy

December 2nd, 2013
11:12 am

Msatl, Reio, there are those who believe that if it’s not possible for them, that it’s not possible for anyone. and most of these people will never know happiness of any kind.

Exiled

December 2nd, 2013
11:17 am

Reio…it dont have to be a S/O in the sense u imply.

It can be IS/O(s).(Insignificant Other(s)..as long as the person has some canal action errv’ now and then….

now see,none of these single folks are even mentioning that, though single, they engage in some sort of debauchery..cunninglus and canal shenaneegans..Alll theyre misleadingly implying is they live by themselves and have no canal relations with nobody untill they meet the RIGHT person.

Its misleading isnt it?

Miss Moni

December 2nd, 2013
11:17 am

-MsAtl I’m LOL at your son swiping all of your batteries. Those electronics will do it every time!

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
11:20 am

Sounds like Ex is defining loneliness as not having a S/O. And defining happening as having a S/O.
One cannot exist without the other. And, beyond that, He seems to think that the cure for loneliness is sex, or a simulation of sex. Some kind of sexual stimulation, supposedly, cures loneliness. It can take your mind off of it, loneliness, for a bit, but the feeling comes back shortly thereafter. So, I’m not sure what he really means.

Exiled

December 2nd, 2013
11:25 am

No Reio(the cure for loneliness is sex,)

Wrong!

Company..the next person’s company comes FIRST before SEX…..Sex does happen but what comes first is the Comapny of the other person.Compony cures Loneliness!

..Get it?

Now All Single people crave the company of the Right one…in his absence,they dont live without….they resort to stop gap measures…..they maybe be insignificant folks that theyre not going to showcase to everybody..but they fill the void.

Reo..dont be hoodwinked! :lol:

disco

December 2nd, 2013
11:26 am

atl – now you should know not to question ex. he has been determined to be “special/precious” and we collectively “bless his little heart” each and every day.

moni – I don’t see it going down like that. she is definitely about to upgrade.

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
11:29 am

Ex – Ok. I think I know what you’re sayin. But what would you say to an individual that’s single, unattached, but happy, content, and not lonely? Does that person exist? Can that person exist?

Single & Happy

December 2nd, 2013
11:29 am

Reio, married guys tell me all the time the life I should be leading because I’m single. Which is really the life they wish they were leading. just overlook it, because most of the time it doesn’t make any sense.

disco

December 2nd, 2013
11:29 am

atl – no he didn’t!!! your son I mean. I think I’d call him and tell him he owed me some energizers. that’s messed up.

ex – “intimate acts” have nothing to do with loneliness (maybe a tad bit to do with comfort but very little to do with lonely). loneliness is an internal/personal emotion. folks on the outside really have very little to do with it. this is why you can be with folks and still be lonely or be alone and not be lonely.

kimmie

December 2nd, 2013
11:34 am

Disco – I understand the worry about what kind of neighbors you might be replaced with. That’s a concern all have, in every kind of neighborhood. Especially if you have some good neighbors and they get replaced with some that are loud, nasty & won’t keep their yard neat, got a bunch of wild bey bey’s kids running around, got some mean pitbulls they let get loose, etc. Don’t come here bringing down the property values! Of course, if they were bad neighbors, you can’t wait for them to move!LOL!!

Single & Happy

December 2nd, 2013
11:36 am

“intimate acts” have nothing to do with loneliness (maybe a tad bit to do with comfort but very little to do with lonely). loneliness is an internal/personal emotion. folks on the outside really have very little to do with it. this is why you can be with folks and still be lonely or be alone and not be lonely. ding ding ding ding.

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
11:38 am

Single & Happy – Yea, they swear they are having the time of their lives. Even dirt bags my age are still “out there.” Chasing dumbazz little girls who only want the cash they provide. Take the money out of it, and the girls will leave too. No problem though. They are all grown. He gets what he wants, she gets what she wants.

MsAtl

December 2nd, 2013
11:42 am

Disco- Oh! I forgot myself for a moment. Bless his little heart, lol.
Think that I am not going to put some batteries in his Christmas stocking???
Btw- Great post (11:29). Exactly! You can choose to be happy or unhappy. It is a matter of disposition and you can be happy despite particular circumstances. As I mentioned, at the end of my marriage, I felt lonely despite having a “partner.”

Leggs

December 2nd, 2013
11:43 am

I am single and for the most part quite happy. Sure, I get lonely at times, but not enough for me to be with someone just to be with someone. If love is hurting, meaning I’m miserable while with that person, or mentally gearing myself up to spend time with you, by all means being alone is quite blissful. Peace of mind is my aphrodisiac that sustains me until my mind is equally yoked as yours. I don’t need to be “booed” up for the holidays if I haven’t been all year long. I laugh every time my phone now rings from guys I haven’t heard much from over the year. I’m cordial and nice, but naw, we ain’t hooking up, not even over dinner (a late dinner at that).

I’m good over here…I have a new attitude!

Good morning – btw, did anyone hit 129 last week???

Single & Happy

December 2nd, 2013
11:43 am

Reio, not the single guys the married guys are the ones I’m talking about. They are the ones doing all the chasing. (LOL) Most of the single guys admit it’s too expensive to be chasing everything with a split in the front. (LOL)

Exiled

December 2nd, 2013
11:45 am

ex – “intimate acts” have nothing to do with loneliness

@Disco..i responded to Reio..follow that thread.

Reio..EX what would you say to an individual that’s single, unattached, but happy, content, and not lonely?

My response:’Please!” with a scowl/contortion on ma face! :lol:

kimmie

December 2nd, 2013
11:47 am

One thing I do know is that I will take lonely and peace of mind any day of the week over being in a bad relationship. I learned that a long time ago. There is nothing worse than having to deal with drama and hurt feelings and someone that really doesn’t care about you and shows it. If that’s all you got, you can keep it!

disco

December 2nd, 2013
11:49 am

kimmie – don’t get me started on all the folks that work late, hit the bar, go shopping, grab a bite, anything they can think of just so they don’t have to go home and be with a mate they don’t want to be bothered with. YET they want to clown single people. at least we ain’t scared to go home. lol.

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
11:51 am

Single & Happy – Yeah, it’s the married guys that are the “dirt bags” I’m referring to. Still sneaking around, and chasing. I feel sorry for them though. married but lonely. If one of these little girls decides he ain’t paying enough, they can blackmail him. Then, he’ll really find out what loneliness feels like. I can’t prove that they are doing what they say they are doing, but there is no doubt in my mind that they are. Their wives, apparently, don’t have a clue. The wives seem happy and not lonely.

disco

December 2nd, 2013
11:55 am

reio – interesting. I never really considered the notion that men cheated because they were lonely. women? maybe. men. I just always figured they were simply greedy. lol. double standard? maybe but I’m just being honest.

Single & Happy

December 2nd, 2013
11:57 am

Reio, alot of their wives are doing the same thing. that’s why they seem happy and not lonely (LOL) Men running around thinking they have everything under control!!

Single & Happy

December 2nd, 2013
12:01 pm

Disco, I know several married guys that put on the face of being happy, but their words don’t seem to go with it. It’s like they’re in that cheaper to keep her mode.

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
12:03 pm

disco – Yes. It happens. Although perhaps not as much with us as it does with women. Many men are a lot like Ex, in that, they think physically being with a woman will cure loneliness. Most, in my opinion, are just out to see how many of the young chicks they can have. Never willing to admit that the cash, or the prospect of cash, is what gets them. Young women that would not give them even a first look, without the cash or potential for cash. Sad.

Miss Moni

December 2nd, 2013
12:03 pm

“One thing I do know is that I will take lonely and peace of mind any day of the week over being in a bad relationship.”

AMEN Kimmie, this right here is my truth!!!

Leggs

December 2nd, 2013
12:05 pm

kimmie/MissMoni ~ ditto!

Single & Happy

December 2nd, 2013
12:06 pm

Disco, did you ever decide which tablet you were getting?

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
12:07 pm

Single & Happy – Yes. I know a few wives, or, should I say, I know a few wives, whom I strongly suspect, are cheating. Since I can’t prove anything. Even the women that my wife has told me that have confided in her, that they were cheating, I have no way of knowing for sure, but I don’t doubt it.

disco

December 2nd, 2013
12:07 pm

single – I think married and single folks both put on a front re happiness. in general, I understand because I’m of the mindset that random folks don’t need to know your troubles. whatever it is, work it out, deal with it and keep your business to yourself. still, while I’m all for happy, the person that is “all happy, all the time” is suspect in my book anyway. lol.

reio – thinking it’s not about the money is nothing but straight denial or male braggadocio. they know what the real deal is. trust. still I know men like to stand around other men and brag about how they ain’t never had to pay. to that I say “mmm hmmmm”.

disco

December 2nd, 2013
12:11 pm

single – no. I never got around to buying a tablet. went in the store and picked up the kindle fire hdx but I left the store without it. then decided I’d just go ahead and get an ipad mini since my credit card offered 10% cashback. again I stalled. I guess the real issue is I don’t really care about having one, just feel like eventually I’ll have to get on the tablet bandwagon. I can see the benefit of one, it’s just not a priority for me right now.

kimmie

December 2nd, 2013
12:12 pm

I think folks cheat for a variety of reasons. One, I think, is to get what they feel they are not getting from their partner at home, be it sex or affection, an emotional connection, a lot of things. And yes, some are greedy. Whatever the reason, it’s sounds like a sad and lonely life. Are you really getting fullfilled sneaking around?

Single & Happy

December 2nd, 2013
12:16 pm

Disco, I only become “suspect” when their words, don’t fit their actions. For some reason people like to talk to me, and the real person comes out. There are some people that are actually happy.

We’ve all had to pay!! in some form or another, whether it be a bill, dinner and a movie. or just straight up giving them money. I have one friend who says he’d rather go on back pages and pay rather than take them out. because it’s cheaper!! and you know you’re going to get some instead of you might get some.

kimmie

December 2nd, 2013
12:21 pm

Moni/Leggs – I remember those times after being hurt, realizing this dude means me no good, dealing with their games & mess, wondering if he would come thru for the holidays, one day I decided I was just not gonna deal with it anymore. It’s nothing wrong with wanting someone special in your life. But that’s just it. It was not enough to just have some warm body around when I got hard up. If he was not going to be an asset to my wellbeing and hanging around causing me grief and getting on my nerves, he’s of no use. When I made my mind up about that, a few got kicked to the curb that year. I breathed much easier!LOL!!

kimmie

December 2nd, 2013
12:22 pm

Disco – My sister-in-law got her daughter a new Kindle for Xmas for $100.

Single & Happy

December 2nd, 2013
12:23 pm

Disco, I just got an asus transformer with a keypad. so it’s almost like having a laptop. came in handy on my last trip.

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
12:24 pm

disco – I remember several years ago, an acquaintance of mine, not a friend, just an acquaintance, told me that this little girl he was foolin with, wanted to use his address on her student loan application. cause if she used her parents address(Where she was still living), she would not qualify for the grants(Which don’t need to be paid back). And he was kinda feelin me out for advice. I told him he was a damn fool(Mainly cause I knew his wife to be a ‘Top shelf lady’). A real gem. And he had the nerve to cheat on her. Not only that, if she used his address, all of the student loan correspondence would come to his house, and his wife would find out eventually. So, yeah, guys pay all the time. They lie all the time too. And the younger and more savvy the little girl is, the more they pay. And that’s fo sho.

kimmie

December 2nd, 2013
12:28 pm

Reio – So in your acquaintance’s case, why do you think he cheated, did he ever say why?

Miss Moni

December 2nd, 2013
12:32 pm

-Disco I just purchased 2, 9 inch tablets, for my daughters from Walmart.com for $69 each.

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
12:34 pm

“So in your acquaintance’s case, why do you think he cheated, did he ever say why?”

Kimmie – I never asked. Never knew. I knew his wife to be a truly outstanding lady. So, I couldn’t understand why he would jeopardize that for a few minutes with a ’sweet young thang’ every now and then. I assumed he was just one of those fellas that never grew up, and seem to get a high on follin with women their daughter’s age. I guess. I don’t know.

Miss Moni

December 2nd, 2013
12:35 pm

-Kimmie I have asthma, so breathing easier is priority #1, LOL!!! ;-)

kimmie

December 2nd, 2013
12:39 pm

Reio – Cool, just curious. I was wondering if he ever gave any “excuse” like his wasn’t getting any at home or something.

kimmie

December 2nd, 2013
12:44 pm

Moni – I know that’s right. One day it just clicked with me. I was like why in the world am I worring myself over these pieces of shid? I got where I literally just did not give a dang anymore. One guy was like, “dang, you don’t even return my calls anymore. You just don’t care.” What he really was trying to say was “why aren’t you sweating me? I was just like “whatever”, let some other poor lady deal with yo tired behind. I didn’t say quite that, but he knew I was gone. When I get where I really don’t care, you’ve lost me!

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
12:54 pm

Kimmie- It’s really sad. This particular fella was really thinking about doing this. It never occurred to him that the financial aid office at her college would be sending her letters to his house. He said “I been doing her for a while. Last year, her freshman year, she didn’t ask to use my address, how come she wants to use it now?”, “Well, did you ask HER that?”, “Naw, I just finished putting my clothes on, and didn’t say yes or no.”, “Well, you ought to leave her alone altogether.”, “I know, but she’s nice and smart.”, “Hell, fvck nice! Fvck smart! You’re married! Fool!”…… Don’t know what he did after that conversation. But that chick had him over a barrel. Serves him right. Sounds like she was quite young indeed. Cause she had just finished her freshman year. She sounds like she was just a baby. An adult, but still just a baby, if you asked me. His old, rusty, stankin, married azz, knew better. She was old enough to know better too, but I’ll allow for youth in her case. Him? No way.

Celisea

December 2nd, 2013
12:54 pm

Now this aint me proclaiming sh%^t! Thats how GOD designed folks.

Wroooong….lol That’s NOT how designed mankind. God “designed” man to be happy with him….him alone. Spouses and mates are a plus. The only desire man was designed with was a quest for God….the soul that is, not the flesh. Where do you think the desire to “find” happiness comes from? Most look and look and look because that desire is not rightly fed.

MMeello, you never heard of Eunuchs? In the bible? Paul was a eunuch and wished that all men could partake in such a lifestyle cause he found so much joy in just him and Christ and spreading the gospel.

Exiled!

December 2nd, 2013
1:00 pm

So u saying folks wanna be Eunuchs?

They oughtta say so then!

Miss Moni

December 2nd, 2013
1:01 pm

-Celisea I’m going to have to disagree. . . God saw that it was NOT good for man to be alone, which is why he created Eve. Adam had God, all the animals and the fruit of the land, but he longed for someone on his level, that he could be intimate with. Marriage is a good thing, the 2 shall become 1 flesh. Whew, I can’t wait!!! :-D

Now Paul also said that it’s better to marry than to burn with lust for another. Not everyone could handle his journey of not marrying.

Celisea

December 2nd, 2013
1:06 pm

No, I’m saying not only did you misspeak in saying folks are lonely cause that’s how God designed us. Also, I’m saying folks really can be happy without a spouse. You weren’t born with one and you won’t leave here with one. Like I said, God is fine with spouses and mates and junk, but as long as he’s head of your life, it’s all good. Point being, you can be happy with or without.

MMeello – You’re just so wrong when you’re adamant about this kind of stuff….it seems you’re projecting how life would seem to you…WITHOUT A SPOUSE, onto others. You can’t tell a person what or what doesn’t make them happy….based how it would be or seem for you. That’s just you, boo. That’s all I’m saying. Everybody’s world don’t center solely around relationships. Don’t get me wrong, they are FANTAB!! But life goes on if you don’t have one or ain’t in one.

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
1:07 pm

Celisea – God said “Be fruitful and multiply” So, no way he wants all men to be eunuchs. The species would die out. The apostle Paul surely may have wished all men could feel the joy and happiness he felt, but even he would acknowledge that life has to go on. Jus sayin.

Celisea

December 2nd, 2013
1:11 pm

MM – Yes, Paul did say it’s better to marry than to burn for those Christians that can’t live a life abstaining and can’t handle no sex. But, he ends with he wished that so many could live a life where all of their time and energy was devoted to serving God.

That is all….

Celisea

December 2nd, 2013
1:13 pm

And again…for the last time….I didn’t say God wanted men to be Eunuchs. God back and read what I said. I was speaking to someone erroneously saying that we were designed to be in relationships. We were not. Now if you must or desire, then do the dang thing and marry and bring forth life.

Leggs

December 2nd, 2013
1:14 pm

kimmie ~ I got invited to Thanksgiving dinner by a guy who I haven’t seen in a good year. Speak to him on the phone from time to time, but I was taken aback about his invite. Talking to him more, I learned his mother wants him to re-marry and he thought if I came to dinner with him it would appease her. I’m not the one to be a beard for you in any fashion (he’s straight), but wanted to semi-hoodwink his mama. He asked if I thought of marrying again and I told him I never think about it. He seemed surprised. I had to tell him not everyone who’s been married wants to marry again.

kimmie ~ you’re absolutely right, when you kick those hanger ons to the curb you do feel so much better.

Reio: re: men cheating. I surmise men cheat:

(1) because they feel they can get away with it;
(2) they’re greedy;
(3) they need their ego’s stroke (the big ego, along with their super and id egos);
(4) they could be happy at home, just want the sensation of doing bad;
(5) they’re stupid and enjoy throwing caution to the wind;
(6) really do not care about the ramifications if caught!!

Miss Moni

December 2nd, 2013
1:16 pm

Paul was definitely entitled to have his own opinion. I’m glad that God knows best. It’s a beautiful thing when both husband and wife are devoted to serving God. Marriage is a ministry and I’m grateful for being able to see couples stick it out through the good & not so good. I find it encouraging as a single woman to see healthy, loving marriages.

Celisea

December 2nd, 2013
1:26 pm

Y’all carry on. I just got a minute to stick my head in the door and saw, once again, MMeelo going left…..lolol

Toodles!!!

Exiled!

December 2nd, 2013
1:37 pm

Reio?
God said we should multiply?

I’m good then! :lol:

Celisea..there was ur answer!
I am sure God wants us married and theeen multiplying!

disco

December 2nd, 2013
2:13 pm

okay. we/ya’ll can go back to being heathens/backsliders now. lol.

kimmie

December 2nd, 2013
2:18 pm

Disco – Okay??/ LOL!!

disco

December 2nd, 2013
2:19 pm

if anyone is still around. let’s talk about the holiday weekend.

what’s the best thing you ate?

the worst thing you ate?

who really got on your last nerve?

if you went shopping, what was your best purchase overall? your best deal?

disco

December 2nd, 2013
2:21 pm

did anyone catch any movies? I had a list of four but didn’t get to see a single one of them.

2CPTG©

December 2nd, 2013
2:26 pm

I saw my Seminoles thrash the FL gators Saturday, and I saw 12 years a slave, yesterday…..

kimmie

December 2nd, 2013
2:29 pm

Disco:

Best thing I ate – My ham & my dressing
Worst thing – Marie Callendar Mac & Cheese. It was not horrible, but I’ve had much better and I had to choose something.
Who got on my last nerve – My insurance agent
Best purchase – Got some cool things for my hubs & son in Barnes & Noble.

disco

December 2nd, 2013
2:29 pm

2C – what did you think of 12 years? I think the one thing that could have made a bigger impression on the viewer is if they would have dated the movie. you know, just a little script across the bottom that said winter 1859, fall 1860. something to let the viewer realize time was indeed passing. just my thought though.

kimmie

December 2nd, 2013
2:30 pm

Oh, as for movies I watched 2 Guns. It was entertaining.

Celisea

December 2nd, 2013
2:32 pm

Best Man Holiday…caught it Thursday…was booed up :mrgreen:

disco

December 2nd, 2013
2:33 pm

kimmie – now you know I have to ask. what did your insurance agent do to you?

I ain’t gone lie. I did major damage to the 7-up cake. I swear I practically ate the whole thing (minus a few slices) all by myself.

re 2 guns. we were discussing pain and gain over the weekend. how I was checking for mark wahlberg until the rock showed up and then I was like mark who. there’s a movie coming out (grudge match) with stallone and deniro and already I’m torn. not sure who’s team I’m going to be on. I will say, I think stallone is holding up a little bit better than deniro. still, I love me some deniro. oh well..

Leggs

December 2nd, 2013
2:36 pm

disco ~ the best thing I ate was everything on my plate. I cooked it all and it was delicious.

Worst thing I “tasted” was the dressing. I don’t eat dressing, but tried it. I didn’t make it.

Who got on my nerve: – my pretend sis-in-law. She was talking about the leggings she had on and how some big women wearing them shouldn’t wear them. I tried my best not to have the “deer in the headlights” look on my face because this woman is somewhat large and pudgy and her fat behind had no business wearing tights and a top that didn’t even cover her backside. I was flummoxed by her statement, to say the least! I had to get up and leave the room to avoid any further facial grimmances.

Movies: Got dressed to go yesterday when my gf called and said she was content staying home. I started to go alone, but I too was content being home.

kimmie

December 2nd, 2013
2:38 pm

Disco – Something happened at my house I am renting out to my sister. The house I have had now for 10 years, never missed a payment, no trouble. Now that I had to file a claim, here he comes. Talking down to me a bit too, until he asked what my husband did. Imma fix his behind after we settle this claim though.

Leggs

December 2nd, 2013
2:38 pm

Re movies: after dinner we all sat down and watched the far fetched, bullet ridden movie “White House Down.” All those bullets and he didn’t get hit with nary one of them!

disco

December 2nd, 2013
2:39 pm

leggs – so, what movie were you planning to see? and… you don’t eat dressing? blasphemy. lol. and…. why didn’t you call old girl out? that would have made for some interesting holiday drama. lol.

kimmie – go get him girl. lol.

2CPTG©

December 2nd, 2013
2:39 pm

disco, I wasn’t impressed with it….but then again, when you’ve seen one slave narrative, you’ve seen them all….how many ways can you tell the same story?

disco

December 2nd, 2013
2:42 pm

leggs – you should so ignore white house down and try to catch Olympus has fallen. essentially the same movie but without the silly attempts at humor.

2C – you can tell the same story all kinds of ways, it still has potential. I wasn’t as impressed with the movie as I anticipated I would be. I just think my expectations were too high. still, that’s not to say it can’t be done. how many times do we watch the same cop/gangster/high speed chase/boy meets girl/etc story?

kimmie

December 2nd, 2013
2:42 pm

Leggs – White House Down was okay, but I like Olympus Has Fallen much better. I did not like Jamie Foxx in WHD, especially the fake southern accent. It was just kinda stupid. Olympus was the bomb to me though.

kimmie

December 2nd, 2013
2:46 pm

The chick that sings all the time has a bad cold. She has been sneezing and coughing like crazy. I’m ODing on Airborne and vitamins, but she’s getting on my nerves with it. I know she can’t help it, but then again, when it’s other folks, she has something to say about it.

2CPTG©

December 2nd, 2013
2:47 pm

how many times do we watch the same cop/gangster/high speed chase/boy meets girl/etc story?

I just think with the slave stories, they’re all the same….an enslaved people against their wishes; “master” has his way with his “property;” “uppity negroes” get beat………ad nauseum…..

2CPTG©

December 2nd, 2013
2:48 pm

yeah, I liked Olympus, as well……that was a kick-ass plot to overthrow the white house…

disco

December 2nd, 2013
2:50 pm

2C – I don’t see it that way. the themes can vary. sort of like holocaust movies. I love them. one could say that they are all the same but all of those people had individual stories. same with slavery. the movie isn’t about the “institution” – or it shouldn’t be. it’s about the personal stories.

kimmie

December 2nd, 2013
2:57 pm

that was a kick-ass plot to overthrow the white house…

2C – YES!!!

2CPTG©

December 2nd, 2013
2:58 pm

yes, I agree with the “personal story” aspect; because everyone has a story to tell…..but when you remove the names, the majority of them are all alike…..a few, like Harriet Tubman, or Nat Turner, have differences, but outta the 400 years of slavery, there aren’t many different stories……example, now that we have a “roots”, a “mandingo”, a “django”, and “12 years”….what other story is there? Harriet Tubman’s story has been told, as with Nat Turner’s….so what’s left?

SlimNu

December 2nd, 2013
3:03 pm

I agree, Olympus Has Fallen, was much better.

Random: I hate when folks leave their kibbles & bits in the toilet. Yuck :???:

disco

December 2nd, 2013
3:03 pm

2C – to be frank, I hate when people say django like it’s relevant. that movie was just an entertaining spoof (imo). anyway, I get your point BUT even with the underlying theme being the same each individual story is different. harriet tubman and nat turner are the big names that got some publicity. there’s tons of “nobodies” with stories. I think I mentioned early in my blog days that I loved reading biographies but I prefer the biographies or nobodies (or regular) people over those of celebrity types.

Leggs

December 2nd, 2013
3:04 pm

Was going to see 12 Years. Only one gf I want to see that movie with. Yep, still haven’t seen it.

Jamie Foxx looked like a buffoon in WHD! That movie was a pure waste of my time. I couldn’t even escape into the movie because I was picking at every scene in my mind. Ok, if you’re saying the plot for Olympus was good, I’d might check it out because the plot for WHD was predictable at the start of the movie.

disco ~ growing up the turkey was stuffed and that was wet, mushy bread to me. Then, people started baking dressing or using stove top. None of it was visibly appealing so I never tasted it. I had a forkful this Thanksgiving and wasn’t impressed.

disco

December 2nd, 2013
3:08 pm

2C – it’s like america’s great (northern) migration. yeah we know folks left the south and went north. we know why they went (for the most part). we can even guess the routes they took based on where they are from and where they ended up. still, I love to get those individual stories. for instance, my grandfather rode from Mississippi to Pennsylvania on the back of a pickup truck (with several other men). I imagine that was a long, uncomfortable ride.

Leggs

December 2nd, 2013
3:08 pm

disco ~ I agree with you DJango. That movie didn’t hit a chord with me in terms of the gritty aspects of slavery. More comical than anything. The best part of that movie was the white man narrating it. I hated the fight scene of the two slaves fighting in the living for the enjoyment of the slave master. That was disgusting.

SlimNu

December 2nd, 2013
3:08 pm

kimmie – Speaking of illnesses, my little 4yr old niece has the flu…we find this out after her being taken to the ER twice and a regular doc’s visit. Tell me why the ER didn’t diagnos that fromt he get go?!!! I even said I figured it was flu the way she was shaking with the chills and high fever. Po-thang! I hated to see her suffer

2CPTG©

December 2nd, 2013
3:10 pm

I agree django had no relevance whatsoever.

Exiled!

December 2nd, 2013
3:11 pm

Lot of folks bought Toys on Thanksgiving day!

I heard. :lol:

2CPTG©

December 2nd, 2013
3:14 pm

and I guess the reason those movies don’t do anything for me, is because when I look at them from an objective point of view, it shows a “tolerant,” acquiescant people; the reason I say tolerant, because there were far more slaves than masters. Hell, the Indians fought back!

Leggs

December 2nd, 2013
3:15 pm

Ex ~ and from the news, a lot of people were fighting over those toys.

Leggs

December 2nd, 2013
3:18 pm

2C ~ the Indians did fight back and their punishment was death while fighting. The slaves didn’t die immediately. They suffered and endured pain daily. That was enough for many not to fight back. The level of punishment one would have to endure mentally handicapped many into submission. Not everyone had the gumption to fight back. Even then the division between house slaves and field slaves was wide enough for snitches to help deter some of the best laid plans.

2CPTG©

December 2nd, 2013
3:21 pm

The level of punishment one would have to endure mentally handicapped many into submission. Not everyone had the gumption to fight back.

like I said, a tolerant people……the Indians were willing to risk death over submission. The gov’t spurred the war of Independence, as opposed to submission.

disco

December 2nd, 2013
3:22 pm

2C – and all that aside – my point is that I love the individual stories. everyone has a story and I like stories. for instance my neighbor, I haven’t yet heard her engagement story. a friend of hers came by over the weekend and put a big azz congratulations sign up. now, I’m looking forward to the story. in 2C’s mind it doesn’t matter. someone proposed, someone said yes. the end. it happens every day. lol.

2CPTG©

December 2nd, 2013
3:24 pm

and that house vs. field negro mentality goes on til this day…….they call it welfare…..give ‘em a lil some’n to appease ‘em, and we gotta ‘em where we want em…..control!

SlimNu

December 2nd, 2013
3:24 pm

Did ya’ll hear about the Fast & Furious dude dying?

disco

December 2nd, 2013
3:25 pm

slim – I heard something on the radio but didn’t pay much attention. I’ve never seen any of the fast and furious movies.

2CPTG©

December 2nd, 2013
3:27 pm

someone proposed, someone said yes. the end. it happens every day.

pretty much…..

disco

December 2nd, 2013
3:29 pm

2C – which is why I said I understand where you are coming from. you don’t care about the stories. sort of like how I am with sports. why watch the whole game when you can catch the score on the news later? lol. okay. hope I wasn’t starting anything with that with the sports fans. lol.

Leggs

December 2nd, 2013
3:34 pm

2C ~ my point was to show light on your “tolerant” statement.

“and that house vs. field negro mentality goes on til this day…….” – I know, that’s why I typed it. It’s still going on today and it will go on when each of us leaves this Earth.

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
3:34 pm

disco – The best thing I ate was probably a toss up between the sweet potato pie and the ribs my daughter made. The pie crust was actually baked on the bottom, something my wife has yet to do(Bless her heart). Took one of the pies and some ribs with us back to Birmingham.

2CPTG©

December 2nd, 2013
3:35 pm

disco, I too like biographies, tho…..but ain’ gon lie, I hate to read of folks who seemingly has it made then fall victim to drugs…now that pisses me off, because if you weren’t on them initially, why wait til you get some bread to get stupid…..

Exiled!

December 2nd, 2013
3:37 pm

Imagine the folks thru threw in the oceans because they were too weak and dying,fighting,fighting back or to use as example of what may happen.

By the time those folks got onshore,they were cowed already.

When you look at slavery properly and the time slaves were in captivity,black folks deserve reperations more than Jews got.

Untill blacks have real power,this ain’t happening tho.

Blacks definately suffered more than Jews(20 years?)

Exiled!

December 2nd, 2013
3:38 pm

Slaves thrown in the oceans because they

2CPTG©

December 2nd, 2013
3:39 pm

Ex, the reparations argument, that’s a whole ‘nother Oprah…..hell, even the Japanese folks that were interred during WW2 were compensated. but I digress.

SlimNu

December 2nd, 2013
3:41 pm

because if you weren’t on them initially, why wait til you get some bread to get stupid…..

2C – I guess it’s that “When in Rome…” saying…let’s face it, many folks with money get down with those types of extracurriculer activities. You’re able to party in a different way than regular folks lol Just a guess…could be the pressure to fit in too. eff that though

disco

December 2nd, 2013
3:43 pm

2C – never thought of that but while I enjoy a good rags to riches I also enjoy a good riches to rags. lol.

ex – who suffered more is definitely debatable.

disco

December 2nd, 2013
3:44 pm

slim – my son once pointed out that the little “prep school/private school” kids had way better drugs than the inner city kids. makes sense.

SlimNu

December 2nd, 2013
3:54 pm

disco – For some reason, prescription pills appear to folks to be a fancier & less low-lifeish lol It’s better, in their eyes, than say um…smoking crack lol

2CPTG©

December 2nd, 2013
3:56 pm

disco, the riches to rags stories should be deterrent enough to not want to lose it….and Slim, I understand it’s a different ballgame once your bank account increases; ijs, just dumb to me…..but of course we know it happens everyday…

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
3:56 pm

“If a nation or people expect to be ignorant and free,
then it expects what never was
and never will be.”
–Thomas Jefferson–

I’ve always said, and will always say, that the day each of us can look at an individual and say, “Ricky, Jojo, Karen……whoever, I love you. With all my heart. And all my soul. You’re my son, daughter, niece, nephew grandchild, uncle, aunt….but the truth is, YOU AIN”T SH!T!!!!” When it’s appropriate to do so, will be the day we will have arrived as a people. We know where the crack houses are. We know who the good for nothing relatives and neighbors are. We know when our youngsters are doing wrong…..yet we say nothing. “We’re all God’s children.” “Nobody’s perfect.” “He, who is without sin, let him cast the first stone.”, “White folks do it too”…..Is all I hear. Well it’s about time we singled out the lazy one’s, the worthless one’s, the dangerous one’s…..so the younger one’s can make the distinction between them and others. It’s high time we stopped coddling criminals and excusing their behavior. It’s high time we raised our standards with respect to what’s acceptable behavior and what is not…..Hell. We’re our own worst enemies.

Durty Burd

December 2nd, 2013
3:56 pm

Good Afternoon!

This goes out to my soon to be boo… SlimNu, because she needs to sleep! :wink:

Ah, alright.

Ain’t this what you came for
Don’t you wish you came, oh
Girl what you’re playing for
Ah, come on
Come on, let me kiss that
Ooh, I know you miss that
What’s wrong, let me fix that
Twist that

Baby, tonight’s the night I let you know
Baby, tonight’s the night we lose control
Baby, tonight you need that, tonight believe that
Tonight I’ll be the best you ever had

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ll be
The best you ever had

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ll be
The best you ever had

I hit you with the best stroke,
Freestyle and the breaststroke
Til you blow a cigarette smoke
And now the bed’s broke
So what we gon’ do now
Pluck it, round two now
Work it out, then we cool down
Cool down

Baby, tonight’s the night I let you know
Baby, tonight’s the night we lose control
Baby, tonight you need that, tonight believe that
Tonight I’ll be the best you ever had
I don’t wanna brag, but I’ll be
The best you ever had

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ll be
The best you ever had!

2CPTG©

December 2nd, 2013
3:57 pm

ex – who suffered more is definitely debatable.

in terms of time length, only the Israelites suffered longer….

Exiled!

December 2nd, 2013
4:00 pm

Forget more
longer?

MsAtl

December 2nd, 2013
4:13 pm

Best thing I ate was the fried turkey; the worst thing was, hmmm, nothing.
Who got on my last nerve- my nephew’s dog; he crapped in my house!
Best deal- I scored a stiletto shoe tape dispenser on sale for $4.99 & I had a $5.00 coupon, so it was – 1 cent.

disco

December 2nd, 2013
4:15 pm

reio – I do that all the time. now, I can’t speak for other “sugar coating” type folks but I know for a fact that I have no problems doing it. lol.

MsAtl

December 2nd, 2013
4:16 pm

Trying to catch up- Yep, the odd thing is that on Friday there was a hoax about Paul Walker dying in a car accident. Then, on Saturday he died in a car accident. They have filmed most of F&F 7 but was supposed to film some scenes in Abu Dhabi (sp). Now they have to figure out how to film the rest for release next year.

disco

December 2nd, 2013
4:17 pm

ex / 2c – suffering is relative and personal. I know this is no comparison but simply to make a point. some children you can punish with a whooping and others with time out or withdrawal of privileges. I was a kid who thought “a whooping only hurts as long as it lasts” so I was all for the whooping and getting on with my life. punishment (grounding) on the other hand (imo) who’s got time for that. again, I know this has nothing to do with slaves and jews I’m just saying some suffered fast, some suffered slow. it’s all suffering.

Exiled!

December 2nd, 2013
4:18 pm

Preach Reio!

Exiled!

December 2nd, 2013
4:22 pm

Disco…we talking about the length of legalized slavery(suffering),not suffering in general.

Git it!

Hitler persecuted folks for a period then was overpowered. Then came Reparations till today..Israel gets 40billions a year.

How bout blacks for,for that duration of slavery.

Was that not persecution?

disco

December 2nd, 2013
4:23 pm

ex – you, as an individual, only get to live one lifetime. with your one lifetime would you have rather been a slave or a jew during the holocaust?

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
4:25 pm

disco – That’s good to hear. I wish more of us would. We truly need to. And we need to do it publically. No matter what other people say.

As far as who suffered more? Well let me say this, One of the reasons that I get absolutely beside myself whenever I hear about us behaving badly(Which is nonstop), is because during slavery, if you were an eight, nine or ten year old slave girl, you were farmed out at night in the barn, for all the white men to come in and do what they wanted. Things their wives would not do. This was just one of a multitude of pain and savagery heaped on our ancestors, yet they endured, and persevered. Didn’t give up. Didn’t commit suicide….So, I came along, as a result. The least I can do, is try hard to live right and respect myself as well as others.

disco

December 2nd, 2013
4:27 pm

reio – I had a conversation yesterday in which I issued my blog disclaimer. you know the one where I say I don’t deal with sorry folks unless I’m related to them. lol.

Reio

December 2nd, 2013
4:34 pm

Well, those slaves, and their descendants, endured quite a lot. Unspeakable savagery, and wholesale slaughter, rape…..We, in my opinion, owe them. The best way to repay them is through hard work and self respect.

disco

December 2nd, 2013
4:38 pm

reio – seems like to me, they worked hard enough for all of us. if anything, the way to repay them is to sit back on our azzes and not do a daggone thing. lol. (naturally you know that’s just jokes – mostly – lol).

2CPTG©

December 2nd, 2013
4:48 pm

was just checking out pics of those celebs having kids well into their 50’s and 60’s……ain’ no way da hell…..

2CPTG©

December 2nd, 2013
4:51 pm

quick question ‘fo y’all leave…..think it’s fair that men should still have to pay alimony even after ex-wifey gets remarried?

Single & Happy

December 2nd, 2013
4:51 pm

He reio, were you upset or happy on Sat?

Single & Happy

December 2nd, 2013
4:52 pm

2C who’s still paying alimony to their married ex wife?

MsAtl

December 2nd, 2013
4:54 pm

2C- Men don’t pay alimony after ex-wife gets remarried (to my knowledge)

disco

December 2nd, 2013
4:55 pm

2C – nope. I don’t believe in alimony/spousal support at all. sure the affected party will argue that they did, this that and the other but at the end of the day this that and the other is what they chose to do. they should have chose to make some money or at the very least chose to hide/save some money. that’s just me though.

2CPTG©

December 2nd, 2013
4:57 pm

MsAtl….could be wrong, but I thought I read that Sugar Ray still had to pay Juanita, and she married a few times after her divorce…to Otis Nixon, and Peabo Bryson….

Single & Happy

December 2nd, 2013
4:59 pm

2C if that’s the case, sugar ray needs to find a new lawyer.

Exiled!

December 2nd, 2013
5:03 pm

Disco..

Jew!

If not me,my folks wld have money guaranteed and protection all the time.

MsAtl

December 2nd, 2013
5:03 pm

I agree with Single. Alimony stops when you remarry. If he was still paying, it was likely back payments he owed her.
Dippin’ out- have a good evening All!

disco

December 2nd, 2013
5:06 pm

ex – of course, you are ex so all your peeps ended up on schindler’s list. lol. ijs.

Exiled!

December 2nd, 2013
5:14 pm

Disco

Ian lights out on the joke

I ain’t a movies person