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Archive for December, 2013

Break-ups and Make-ups

It is always interesting to hear commentary about the lives of celebrities because it sort of gives you an idea of how people think. Classic example is the recent engagement news of actress Gabrielle Union and NBA player Dwyane Wade. It was super sweet to see the pictures on instagram and how happy they are. Fast forward a few days?? Suddenly people say that Gabrielle is foolish to marry him since he fathered a child when they had a brief break up.

Listen, breakups are messy. Relationships can get complicated. Who knows if Dwayne realized how much he loved Gabrielle after reuniting with an ex? Perhaps the grass was not greener. I heard a lot of women claiming they would never have been open to marrying someone who hooked up with someone else and returned to them with a kid.

I wonder, what does taking a break from a relationship mean to you? Have you ever asked for one? Do you think more couples should take some time off to test the relationship’s strength?

I also …

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Your year in dating

It almost time to say goodbye to 2013 and I, for one, am happy to see it end. The great thing about closing out a year is taking time to reflect. What did we get right? What did we get wrong? Before the new year arrives, why not take the lessons that you learned to improve your chances of successful dating in 2014?

So what has been your best and worst dates of 2013? Which experiences do you think taught you the most valuable lesson?

When you look ahead to 2014, what new things are you planning to try?

Happy Monday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating

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Holidays: Perfect for appreciation

We are well on our way into the Holiday trifecta for relationships: Christmas, New Year’s, and Valentine’s Day. While many will look for monetary gifts to show their love, the truly priceless thing we can give is attention, love, and appreciation.

Since we have so many women who find it challenging to show appreciation for their men (don’t shoot the messenger, I hear this a lot from men), I thought it would be a good idea to share some ways to show that you appreciate the good man you have:

I have never met a guy who does not love a home cooked meal. Yes, we all have busy careers and Scandal shows to catch up on, but a couple of great home cooked meals over the holidays will make your man feel appreciated.

Show him you appreciate him by LEAVING HIM ALONE. At least for a few hours, anyway. Instead of dragging him with you to the stores, why not let some of his holiday leisure time be spent doing anything he wants to do without guilt trips? Absence makes the heart go …

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Are you intellectually matched?

I received an email from a reader who is considering dumping someone that she thought she liked. Although they seemed to have a good connection, she is starting to notice that he isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, if you know what I mean. She has never dated anyone who wasn’t equally intelligent as she was.

Is that something that could be a deal breaker for you? I think we all want to have a partner that can hold conversations that won’t bore us to tears. Lacking intellect would definitely make it difficult to be more attracted to them.

Have you ever dated someone who you believed was not your match intellectually? Did you regret it?

How do you know if you two are compatible when it comes to intellect?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

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Dirty little secrets?

Have you ever met someone really wonderful and then worried what would happen if they found out something about you? I think it is normal to have a past, things we regret doing, or a few skeletons in the closet. Once you get in a relationship, some of these things has to come out…eventually. I repeat: your dirty little secrets may have to be revealed in a relationship.

Now this idea probably freaks you out a bit but there is something very liberating about having someone with whom you can be yourself. Sure you can save a little for yourself to keep to your grave, but isn’t it important to share things with your partner?

If you can imagine being in a relationship and discovering something about your partner, do you think you could handle it if they kept a secret? I know a lot people wait until something comes up before getting the full story, is that really a good plan?

Do you have concern about your date’s dirty little secrets?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in …

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Dating: New relationship paradox

The dating game can be really fun but we all know how quickly it can turn into some drama. The fun part is when two people connect and have great chemistry. The drama happens when a person feels entitled to a relationship even when the other person clearly shows that they are not interested in the same.

I know a lot of people preach to singles about starting out as friends first and taking things slow, but if you ever wonder about how your best relationships start, check your dating history.

Some people have started out as hook up buddies and it got serious. Others put a lot of time and energy on focusing on building a “solid” foundation so the relationship had the best chance of survival. The reality is that I have seen relationships start in many ways and still manage to be a healthy and happy one.

My friend Ray told me his best relationship was with a woman who approached him and asked him out. Yet he still claims that women that take the lead are not his type. So, …

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Ex Files: Should you look them up?

Whenever you see people from your past, it’s like unlocking some type of mental time capsule. You start to remember things you said or did and the choices you made back then. My Granny used to always say, “Let sleeping dogs lie” and I used to wonder if this applied to our exes. Have you ever felt the need to go look up your first love?

My friend Lisa wants to find the guy she first loved but there is one problem, she is in a serious relationship and her ex is newly married. Doesn’t really seem like the best timing to reunite with someone but she feels the need for some kind of closure.

Do you think contacting someone you used to know is a good idea? If there is no real intent for anything romantic to happen, should you go look up your ex?

What would you do if the person you were in a relationship with told you they made plans to have lunch or dinner with someone they used to date/love/see naked on occasion?

Happy Monday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating …

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Dating: Stress-free holiday?

This time of year is supposed to be fun and relaxing. Everyone is in a good mood and a couple of days off should bring good cheer. So why are so many people stressing over what to buy their significant other?

It is especially hard when they aren’t truly that significant…yet. How do you figure out the most appropriate thing to do with your new love? Should you really talk about gift exchange? Are you obligated to spend leisure time with them if you had plans that were made way before you met them?

Sandra, a 31 year old from Alpharetta said that she had booked and paid for a ski trip with friends when she was still single. She did not expect to have a new man in her life and now he is making her feel bad for missing their “first” holiday apart. Would you cancel a trip that you had already planned to take to make your new love feel important?

Then there is the dreaded feeling of give a gift that is waaaay over the top compared to what they gave you. Do you think a price …

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Dating debate: It’s just a TOY

I received an email from a reader who wanted to get some feedback from the Misadventures in Atlanta blog community. Rayna is a 26 year old woman who is dating Keith, a 31 year old. They have been involved for a year now but he is just now telling her something that is bothering him: her collection of bedroom toys is too much.

Now Rayna has been a toy enthusiast long before she met Keith. She said that when she was single for a long time, it became a necessary tool. Keith feels that now that he is in the picture, she should have no need for the collection, especially one as big as hers (No pun intended, really).

So dear readers, I post this question to you: Are toys necessary in a committed relationship? Does Keith have a right to request disposal of Rayna’s collection?

Would it bother you if your partner had toys but did not really use them when you were together?

I know the topic is adult-themed, but let’s keep it PG as possible, please and thank you.

By Wise Diva, …

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Dating: Are they loyal?

My friend Sam always tells me that a dog is man’s best friend because dogs are loyal. To guys, loyalty is everything. This means that if a man believes that the woman he is seeing can’t be loyal to him then he won’t trust her. If he won’t trust her then the relationship won’t progress.

Sam tells me that this is one of those “very simple things” about men that is pretty cut and dry. I think some men believe that getting respect from the woman they are in relationship ranks higher than getting love from her. Some even decide to test loyalty in different ways.

How important is loyalty to you? Have you ever dumped someone because you felt they were disloyal?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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