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Dating: How honest should we be?

Everyone says that relationships work better when there is honesty. Oddly enough, honesty can have the opposite effect in dating. Can you remember the last time you were totally honest on a date? Do you know how someone would react if you said exactly what you were thinking?

I think everyone tries to filter themselves and put their best foot forward. This usually means we aren’t saying the total truth because the whole truth could get…well rather awkward! So when it comes to dating, how honest should we be and how long should it take for total honesty?

Do you think that people can handle honesty?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

236 comments Add your comment

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
8:02 am

Hey everyone

In my experience, people confuse honesty with opinions. If someone ask you something then that’s the time to be honest. But if they don’t ask and you tell them anyway, and then don’t understand why they get mad with you, It’s not because they can’t handle the “truth” it’s because they didn’t ask your opinion.

I’m a firm believer in if you can’t handle the truth, don’t ask the question.

I think everyone tries to filter themselves and put their best foot forward. I’m going to be myself regardless, if someone doesn’t like it, not my problem.

how honest should we be Need to know basis!

how long should it take for total honesty? some questions will never be answered. just like there are some questions I will never ask.

lee

November 25th, 2013
8:06 am

What you are thinking is most likely an opinion –opinions are best to keep to yourself in my opinion.
I am not sure how the truth can be awkward, whatever you did or didn’t do not sure how that can be awkward, unless you just a nasty person of some kind–then its not awkward, you are disturbed

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
8:21 am

Morning all!

Blogging from home today. Just got too much stuff I need to handle to concentrate on work today.

Single – Your post said it all for me. Especially the honesty versus unsolicited opinion! Nothing more really to add, loved it.

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
8:21 am

Morning all!

Blogging from home today. Just got too much stuff I need to handle to concentrate on work today.

Single – Your post said it all for me. Especially the honesty versus unsolicited opinion! Nothing more really to add, loved it.

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
8:21 am

Morning all!

Blogging from home today. Just got too much stuff I need to handle to concentrate on work today.

Single – Your post said it all for me. Especially the honesty versus unsolicited opinion! Nothing more really to add, loved it.

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
8:21 am

Morning all!

Blogging from home today. Just got too much stuff I need to handle to concentrate on work today.

Single – Your post said it all for me. Especially the honesty versus unsolicited opinion! Nothing more really to add, loved it.

Button

November 25th, 2013
8:23 am

Do you think that people can handle honesty? Yes, I think we can handle honesty much better than we give outselves credit. I don’t expect a man to give me his whole llife story upfront but I do expect him to be as honest as he can be when I as him a question. And if I ask the same question later down the road I would expect to get the same answer each and everytime.

Good morning!

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
8:23 am

Sorry about that! Hate blogging from the iPad!

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
8:27 am

Button – I agree that folks can handle the truth more than given credit. What I think can be the issue is some people can’t handle the other person’s reaction to the truth!

Miss Moni

November 25th, 2013
8:32 am

GOOD Monday Morning MIA!!! *My daughter’s birthday weekend was a huge SUCCESS!* :-D

Single made a great point, if you can’t handle the truth then don’t ask the question. I was told this years ago and I keep it in the forefront when getting to know someone. I’m not good at masking my facial expressions & true feelings about something, the type where you don’t have to wonder. If you ask me a question, if I choose to answer trust me it’ll be an honest answer.

Button

November 25th, 2013
8:47 am

Kimme – exactly! ppl think that by being honest will cause some kind of reaction but it’s not the case all the time.

Button

November 25th, 2013
9:00 am

I guess if there is an ongoing lie then yes there maybe some repercussions ie..screaming, crying, throwing things, storming off.

Button

November 25th, 2013
9:01 am

heck you might even get shot…slow driving, sad songs.

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
9:18 am

Morning All!

I believe in being honest and if I bother to ask a question, I am not going to give a false answer. Like single said, I may not tell you everything I am thinking, but that does not mean I am being dishonest. Agree with your post Single.

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
9:21 am

Button – some want to be able to disrespect & do whatever they want & when the mess hits the fan almost try to pass it off on u. Say “I would have told u xyz but I knew u would get mad” . It’s like they want to control your reaction. U can’t control how someone will react to things. If u r big enough to do it, be big enough to handle the consequences of your actions.

Button

November 25th, 2013
9:26 am

some ppl are not even honest with themselves.

SlimNu

November 25th, 2013
9:33 am

Kimmie – Yeah, I think we got it…you’re blogging from home today. lolol

I’m not good at masking my facial expressions & true feelings about something, the type where you don’t have to wonder

Moni – That’s me exactly…i can’t really hide how I feel. It’ll stew and stew in my mind until i just have to talk to you about it.

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
9:43 am

I meant if I bother to answer a question. Don’t worry- coffee injection is going in now…

I can’t stand folks who always find a way to lie and skirt the issue. I asked one guy what high school he graduated from and he said oh, I went to xxx. Come to find out, he didn’t have a high school diploma. See, that’s that ish that ticks me off! And I don’t want to hear, well he didn’t lie because he didn’t say he graduated, because if I ask you what high school you graduated from and you tell me where you went then that is assumed that you graduated, especially when it was in the context of us talking about you going to college.

Exiled!

November 25th, 2013
9:43 am

@Diva…If you choose to elevate honesty but suppress deception some folks are gone go thru the cracks…their excuse is,’you didn’t aks me!’ :lol:

Withholding the truf is deception.

Nobody is going to be 100. Nobody!

Everybody is looking out fir their best interest so they won’t disclose what the other may want to know un order for them to make their decision.

What’s your Number? …a dude won’t get told this! :lol:

Honesty?!

There is goal specific honesty. That’s what’s most folks are comfortable with.

Not Total honesty!
It’s a Game.

Morning MIA!

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
9:47 am

Exiled – can’t stand the old ‘ you didn’t ask me’ excuse! I’ll respect u more if u just admit u were wrong & deal with it.

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
9:49 am

MsAtl – did he have a GED?

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
9:59 am

Seems the only time “you didn’t ask” would apply is if you’re married, or in a relationship. Other than that if you don’t ask, why would they tell you?

MsATL yea those evasive answer will get you every time (LOL) most people don’t listen to the words, then complain about the answer later on.

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
10:05 am

Kimmie- No, he didn’t.

Single- I did listen to the answer but did not ask specifically “well did you graduate?” because he was saying he had to go BACK to college to FINISH up his degree. So, hells yeah, I complained about the answer…

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
10:13 am

MsAtl, so he was just trying to impress (LOL) didn’t know who he was talking too (LOL)

Exiled!

November 25th, 2013
10:14 am

If her dad is locked up because he was a serial killer,I wld want to know this;for example..assuming we are just starting to date and we seem to like each other.

How I process that knowledge is on me but she will have done her part but being honest.

And so on and so on as it relates to other relationship matters.

Just speaking for myself,if she has a slew of folks in her family that do crime or are locked up,please tell me. It’s most likely I may not want to deal with her further.

I know a family.a whole family that has a history of mental issues. Most of the family members seem to take turns going on the streets,bezerk! I grew up on the same street with the folks.

U try to date the daughter…u wldnt wanna know this? :lol:

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
10:16 am

Single- Lol. Okay. But, Im’ma (yes, Im’ma) need folks to be real and not try to impress me. Really, if you want to impress me, be real. I am rather down to earth. I value education, so while I may call you on it if you say someone went TOO the store to BY THERE food, I won’t put you down for not having a degree.

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
10:17 am

Ex- I am laughing at your post. Yeah, you might want to know if your maybe on day father-in-law is a serial killer so you won’t be one of his future victims if it doesn’t work out. And the family taking turns nutting up? You have to be joking, lol.

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
10:22 am

Hey! Where is everyone???

Posted by Michael Baisden this morning:
“Whether you want to admit it or not…dating is an interview! Pay attention to every detail such as hair, clothing, hygiene, how they treat the waiter, and ask lots of questions. If they complain that you’re being too nosy…look them straight in the eyes and say, “I don’t know you fool!” lol”

disco

November 25th, 2013
10:22 am

good morning. I am ALMOST always totally honest. I may omit some stuff or refuse to answer some questions but that’s not being dishonest. lol.

lee – what’s the point of having an opinion if you don’t get to share it? “what do you think” is one of the best questions out there imo. what a person thinks about a particular topic/issue speaks volumes.

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
10:24 am

Ex if I wanted to know I would ask. Who goes around telling their family history or anything else in the beginning? That has nothing to do with being honest. I would never judge someone by what their family does.

But if someone asked me those questions in the beginning of a relationship, the answer would be, you will find out in due time.

disco

November 25th, 2013
10:25 am

do I think people can handle honesty? some people, maybe even most people. some people need to be left right where they are in denial, make-believe, everything is coming up roses land. too much honesty and they might explode into tiny little smithereens.

disco

November 25th, 2013
10:27 am

atl – I’m the chick who would say “Well he didn’t say he graduated, he said he went to”. when he answered “I went to instead of I graduated from” I would have immediately followed up. lol. it’s sort of like homecoming season. everybody and their momma wants to go and some of them never got to be second semester freshman. gone head with that. lol.

SlimNu

November 25th, 2013
10:28 am

Why can’t folks just be normal? SHeeesh!

disco

November 25th, 2013
10:30 am

slim – because there really is no such thing as normal. there’s normal for me and normal for you and normal for them but no general, all around, across the board normal. lol.

disco

November 25th, 2013
10:31 am

atl – where’s Michael baisden? where’s he posting at? haven’t heard from/about him since his show got dropped.

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
10:33 am

Disco- He has a FB page. If he hadn’t said he was in college, that would have been an appropriate follow-up question. I bet I learned that day!!!

SlimNu

November 25th, 2013
10:37 am

disco – dayum, dayum, dayum lol

disco

November 25th, 2013
10:38 am

atl – some days I feel like I’m missing out on so much because I’m not on facebook. other days I’m like “later for all those busters on facebook”. maybe I’m bi-polar. lol.

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
10:39 am

Single – I dated a guy whose sister married a cousin of mine. They were friends of the family & we kinda lost touch until about 10 yrs down the road we met back up at the wedding. I was not as diligent with him as I normally am, I admit. But after almost a year of dating heard thru grapevine he had a 4 yr old daughter. No mention, no pictures at his house, nothing. When I asked why he didn’t mention her, he laughed at me & said I didn’t ask. It was just the beginning of a lot of deception from him. But I never let my guard down before that or after in doing due diligence. Lesson learned.

The man formerly know as DAN - still...Superior

November 25th, 2013
10:40 am

I think honesty is always the best policy, the issue is can people handle it?

Brutal honesty is one thing, but being forthright in both accuracy and content is more important.

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
10:44 am

Disco/Atl – I get madder at the skirting around and twisting words. I’d rather u just say its none of my business. Don’t insult me like that!

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
10:50 am

haven’t even read all the comments, but folks don’t want the truth…..they cain’t take it raw and uncut, they want it gift wrapped, and nicely presented, which, sometimes, ain’t the case, cause the truth can be ugly as hell;

Exiled!

November 25th, 2013
10:53 am

The think is,u can never be able to ask a potential,every lil and big question there is to ask.
A lot of times,based on emotional feelings,we gloss over some thinks,even subconsciously. This is where it ought to joust the ‘hobest’ person to share what they think the other party may value.

It does not mean it will matter much to the other person. But it may!

May dad is locked up,I got two close cousins who murdered blah blah and they locked up.
My family has a serious history with this disease a b c d.

Now,some may say,nonchalantly,’it ain’t nobody’s business!’

I respect that too.

But I may not have chosen you if I knew that beforehand.

@MsAtl..based on my understanding of African culture,I think there was a murder in that family. That kinda of sheenanegas does not go away even when the culprit is not caught.
That is the literal meaning of ‘haunted’

SlimNu

November 25th, 2013
10:55 am

I’m sorry but if you’re dating, one should NOT have to ask you about kids for you to disclose that information. Unless, you’ve knocked up the 1st lady and it’s a matter of national security, you need to let it be known, period!

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
10:55 am

Well, my detailed post got eaten.

Honesty is always the best route to take. However, no need to put all your cards/thoughts/opines on the table first date. I knew someone who when asked if she wanted children explained that she had four forced miscarriages and now feels she’s ready to be a mother. She was being honest, but couldn’t understand why she wasn’t asked out on a second date. That was too much information too quickly.

I said more, but my short term memory isn’t working.

Good morning.

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
10:56 am

Kimmie, did you ask? it seems like he wasn’t a good father, so why would he mention it? Not deception, just a dead beat dad!

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
11:00 am

Disco “what do you think” is asking for your opinion, but these days people seem to think it’s their first amendment right to give it to you with out you asking.

SlimNu

November 25th, 2013
11:01 am

Leggs – Verifying the mail I got with just links from you….would you please confirm and/or deny their validity?

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
11:03 am

Slim, if a person refused to acknowledge, or support their kids, why would they tell anyone they have kids?

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
11:03 am

I see we can’t type the word a b o r t i o n s!

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
11:04 am

I can confirm the validity is good!

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
11:04 am

2C- “but folks don’t want the truth”
Nah, I know the truth can hurt, but I would rather get the truth and have it cut and heal than depend on lies and be left with permanent scars.

Leggs- Yes, too much too soon.

Slim- I agree! I should NOT have to ask if you have kids, especially if we have been talking for a minute- although I do ask.

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
11:06 am

Leggs, that sounds like the women who I’ve meet that could only talk about marriage and having family on the first date. don’t think there will be a second date.

abc

November 25th, 2013
11:14 am

This is a matter of upbringing. The way I put it across to my kids is, if you think you’d lie about having done it, don’t do it. Pretty good rule of thumb. It didn’t stop them from lying to me like the teenage children they were, but the point got across.

If whether to lye or not is an issue for you, I’d say that’s self-explanatory and self-descriptive. It’s a pretty good chance you should clean up your act. If you already have, then fine, still no need to lie about the things about yourself that you’ve improved upon.

Me personally, even considering that I have to keep up some lie is not acceptable. If you ask, you’ll get the truth, so if you think you might have a problem with the truth, don’t ask.

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
11:14 am

Single ~ Reio would probably disagree, although I see nothing wrong with wanting to get married and screen out those who don’t, why can’t the first date just be about the two of you getting to know each other with the deep, deep questions coming with the second date. First date let’s enjoy the moment together and let all dates thereafter start the interview process. Shouldn’t the first date be the determining factor on whether an interview is warranted? You mail in your resume (first date) and you’re granted a 2nd interview (2nd date) which hopefully will land you that full-time job.

SlimNu

November 25th, 2013
11:14 am

Single – I see your point and raise you one. lol

disco

November 25th, 2013
11:15 am

single – on the one hand I can see that being a big turn off. still, from their perspective and depending on their age (good old biological clock – lol) I can see some women just cutting to the chase. time’s a wasting. lol.

disco

November 25th, 2013
11:17 am

random – last week I put my matchmaker hat on. I haven’t heard from either party. not sure if this is good or bad. no “thanks for the hookup”, no “that chick is crazy”, no “why did you give him my number”. nothing. hmmmm…..

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
11:21 am

Leggs, Disco, even if the clocks a ticking, aint my fault you waited so long. (LOL) at least get to know my last name before you start talking about taking it. For some people this may work out, but I’ve seen some who ‘thought” they were on the same page because that’s what they both were looking for only to find out later that’s all they were on the same page about.

Slim I know a guy, that unless he’s changed, didn’t consider them his children unless they lived with him, and he has 5 or 6

disco

November 25th, 2013
11:23 am

single – why you really upset? because of her expedited screening process in general OR because her expedited screening process concludes that you ain’t getting none? lol.

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
11:25 am

MsAtl, not necessarily lies…..but “crimes of ommission.”

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
11:30 am

nothing. hmmmm…..

disco ~ because they haven’t come up for air!!!!

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
11:30 am

Single ~ did you see that I was agreeing with you?

SlimNu

November 25th, 2013
11:31 am

Single – HUH, what, Really?!!!! Oh heyal naw!!

Reio

November 25th, 2013
11:33 am

Morning All!

“…… and how long should it take for total honesty?”

What’s wrong with right now? This was my biggest problem during my dating years. I told my wife/girlfriend, “Ask me a question? Expect the truth.” I’ll admit that I needed to be schooled a bit on the meaning of the word ‘tact’ by sisters, but I still had a habit of telling the truth to women that I dated. Rarely seemed to be what they were expecting, and even more rarely, what they wanted to hear. But I did anyway. Consequences were never a concern of mine. I figured that the worst case would be that she would decide not to see me again. Oh well.

SlimNu

November 25th, 2013
11:34 am

Single – I dated a guy and at some point he told me he had a son and a daughter (different baby mama’s)…that sort of turned me off a bit but what did it was when he almost blamed the women for having the kids and having to pay child support. One of the mother’s ended up opening her own hair salon. He seemed bitter about that basically saying his child support was helping her to be successful when he had a job he didn’t necessarily like. He did praise one chick that was in school…said she had sense enough to get an ab or t i o n.
TURN OFF!

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
11:36 am

2C- These days an omission can get you a charge too.

disco

November 25th, 2013
11:36 am

leggs – they live in 2 different cities although only about 2 hours apart. I guess I’ll just have to be patient.

all this withholding re the kids. if I met a really great guy today I wish he would not tell me about his kids for about a month or so. at least then I can have 4 weeks of fun before I have to cut him loose. lol.

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
11:41 am

Disco, I don’t get upset, I just know it’s time to move on.

Oh leggs, my bad :-)

Slim had coworker complain about his children’s mom driving a new car, and getting a new house off his child support. I told him if she can do all that with that little bit of money, I need to meet her (LOL)

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
11:42 am

Disco, why you going to have to cut him loose?

SlimNu

November 25th, 2013
11:43 am

Single – I know right…lolol Wasn’t like he was balling or anything. :roll:

SlimNu

November 25th, 2013
11:45 am

I have an O/T question but should I ask or wait at least till after lernch?

disco

November 25th, 2013
11:47 am

single – because I don’t want to be bothered with young “still in the pocket” kids. I don’t even want to be bothered with grown “still in the pocket” kids but the little ones and me? aww heck naw. lol.

lee

November 25th, 2013
11:49 am

seems my comment did not post. so i shall try again.

Disco, i did not mean if someone ask for your opinion on a topic. it was more of what swirls though ones mind, saying out loud “look at the fat chick” , “dude do you usually take a bath with cologne ” ewe just use soap, no need to express everything that runs though your mind.

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
11:50 am

Disco, you remind of the women who wouldn’t date me because I had kids, only to find out the guy she chose was a dead beat dad after she had twins (LOL) If he’s handling his business, why would it bother you?

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
11:51 am

disco ~ I was talking to this guy online a few years back but when he asked if I had children and I told him she was graduation from h.s. in a few months he said he couldn’t date a woman with children still living at home. I did say she was going off to college in a few months, but he said I fell in the category of children at home and he wasn’t swaying from his criteria. Oh I could go was wish him well and whisper under my breath (you just let a good one walk away..lol. Yes, I see nothing wrong with tooting my own horn!).

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
11:52 am

Lee that’s those folks who think it’s their 1st amendment right.

Disco I meant woman.

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
11:53 am

Slim, it’s not to early, shoot!!

disco

November 25th, 2013
11:53 am

single – because I am admittedly selfish. because I don’t want your kids at my house every other weekend and a month in the summer and every other christmas. because your child support money is taking away from our household bottom line and I’m bringing home 100% of my income and you might only be bringing home 60-70% of yours. I could go on but I’ve already answered the question. purely selfish reasons. lol.

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
11:56 am

Disco, be honest (LMAO)

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
11:57 am

Disco, what if my 60 to 70% is twice as much as your 100% would that still make a difference?

disco

November 25th, 2013
12:00 pm

single – re my honesty, just trying to stay on topic. lol.

single – I’ve been posed that question before. no. it still wouldn’t make a difference. the issue would just change. now I’m irked that some other woman besides me is in your pockets like that. lol. the general answer remains the same. selfish.

once I was dating a single parent father. we decided we are going on a cruise. midway through the planning he decides he wants to bring his kids. I’m like “screeeeeech”. pump the brakes. oh heck naw. my friends were like I should just appreciate that he could afford to take all of us. I was like “whatever”. lol.

SlimNu

November 25th, 2013
12:04 pm

Ok….menfolks, how do you feel about another dude giving money to your significant other? Would you find that suspicious, would you think buddy has a hidden agenda or what?

Womenfolk, how would you feel about a dude giving you money under the basis to just be nice? Would you tell your SO? Not accept it or what?

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
12:05 pm

Disco, that’s one thing I’ve never done, unless it’s an emergency, (which I’ve never had) didn’t let my kids interfere with my relationship, and didn’t let my relationship interfere with my kids. Yea you selfish (LOL)

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
12:05 pm

disco ~ I can see you pumping the brakes. Going a cruise with the person you’re dating is not same as going on a cruise with him and his children. The dynamics drastically change where all you too had to look after was one another, now you throw in the kids, make sure they’re eating, neither is trying to throw the other overboard, they’re safe from predators on the cruise, etc all while trying to not drink too much is a bit draining (lol).

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
12:06 pm

Slim that happens all the time, they call them suga daddies (LOL)

disco

November 25th, 2013
12:07 pm

slim – depends on who the man is. if my grandpa is giving me money, my man bet not say nothing. if one of my “way back” exes is giving me money then the answer may depend on why. he may know my situation and only intend to help or he may be needing me to hold something for him (don’t ask – lol). if some joker who is trying to push up and thinks he can buy me (think cutty – dead presidents), well, then that dude right there is just dead wrong and my can handle his business with that one.

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
12:09 pm

SlimNu ~ if you have a SO, I see no reason to accept money from someone else. I would tend to think there’s a hidden agenda. Especially a woman doing it. I can see some men offering to help out because that particular couple may be going through a rough patch and truly simply want to help. Those are rare, but it happens. But a woman offering money to a couple? All I can see is she’s put a down payment on her honey pot. I know, I know, double edge sword, but women are a little more sneakier than men.

Damn it, damn it, where is that darn vest??

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
12:09 pm

Slim as for me, I would have more of a problem with her needing, or taking money from someone all the time.

disco

November 25th, 2013
12:09 pm

leggs – all I know is if that was a test I failed, failed, failed, failed, failed. lol.

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
12:19 pm

You didn’t fail…you passed because you were honest. Can’t feel bad when you’re being true to yourself.

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
12:21 pm

Slim, as disco said, picture Cutty in Dead Presidents….if dude ain’t bringing in enough dough, then his ol gal gon’ go to someone who is……should he feel less than a man, ummm yeah! Because he should do whatever it takes to ensure his ol lady ain’t going to the next dude for money….that opens the door for other things….cause after awhile, the dude that’s handing out the loot gon’ be like, da hell you with that buster for if you gon’ keep running to me everytime you’re in a bind?

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
12:24 pm

Slim- Womenfolk, how would you feel about a dude giving you money under the basis to just be nice? Would you tell your SO? Not accept it or what? Hmmm, I would wonder what his agenda was…

kimmie

November 25th, 2013
12:25 pm

Single – That’s the thing, I DID’NT ask, my bad! He supported her but had nothing to do with her, he said, since the mom didn’t tell him he had her until she was about 2. Now that is neither here nor there, because some folks feel as long as you are sending those checks you are not deadbeat. I beg to differ, but that is not the point I was trying to make.

I guess you had to be there, seems weird an almost 40 year old man after a year not even mentioning it. Like I said, it was a sign of more to come – always sneaky and undercover with shid instead of just being out with his shid.

disco

November 25th, 2013
12:26 pm

leggs – your post brings me to a whole nother point. SOs who ain’t handling business to begin with OR chicks who are too dumb to get what they need from their SO. case in point, a friend called me a couple of weeks ago wanting money for her electric bill. I politely told her no and that she should ask that joker she was screwing. just last night I was talking to a guy who said his sister called with that same electric bill mess while she got a man (wonder if there is an electric bill scam going around – lol). anyway, he said he didn’t trust his sister to give her money directly but instead asked for her account number and the number to the electric company. she claims she had to get back to him with all that. as far as I know, she hasn’t got back to him. lol.

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
12:37 pm

Disco- Methinks she just wanted to go Black Friday shopping. My brother-in-law had asked me to pay a phone bill, which I did. I also paid an electric bill. Okay, so the next time he asked me to pay his phone bill, I told him I wouldn’t do it because if he needs it paid every month then he can’t afford it. This joker calls the phone company and tells them to use the same card from the previous month (which wasn’t supposed to be kept on file). Well, don’tcha know, I told my bank they better get my money back even if they have to prosecute him! I never helped him again.

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
12:37 pm

Slim..how old are u?

:lol: ..re: your questions? 12:04 pm

SlimNu

November 25th, 2013
12:39 pm

Ole girl didn’t ask the guy for money…a conversation came up about buying clothes so he took it upon himself to ‘gift’ it to the chick. I would personally asssume the guy had an hidden agenda especially knowing she is dating someone. I mean do fella’s really just doyle out monetary gifts just to be genuinely nice?

kimmie

November 25th, 2013
12:41 pm

Slim – Unless he’s yo daddy, brother or other blood relative, no dude gives a woman money “just to be nice” with no expectation of anything in return. He’s a sugar daddy. I would not accept it. I don’t see how if I had an SO how I would allow a guy that close to me to even get the opportunity. So it would have to happen out of the blue, which the chances are slim to none of that happening, so if it did, I would laugh about it to my SO.

I’ve always been too proud to take money from men I dated, but it’s due to my upbringing. And I always thought that if he’s good enough for me to allow him to spend money on me, then he’s good enough for me to do other things with. Otherwise, it’s basically a hooker situation.

SlimNu

November 25th, 2013
12:42 pm

MsATL Dang, not your bro!

SlimNu

November 25th, 2013
12:44 pm

Ex – As is your right, you can bypass the question….just like many folks do when it comes to some of your comments. Thank you kind sir, please proceed to the left. ;-)

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
12:44 pm

That is some BS right there, disco. Do not EVER call me with a hardship story and when I offer to pay the bill for you instead of giving you the cash and you don’t have your information on hand, I’m going to blast you. I know everyone isn’t like me, but my gas account, electric account, cable account, credit card numbers, expiration dates, delta skymiles numbers are all in my head. Remember your numbers.

She was trying to get a quick loan from her brother and it backfired.

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
12:44 pm

MsAtl…..your “brother-in-law”???? I’on give a damn how I might fall short, it would be hard for me to ask a female for loot….however, there was this one time, when my sister called, and asked me what was up (guess she heard I had a situation going on), she asked me what I needed….I beat around the bush about how much I really needed, and she flat out said, “how much you need?” …..I still didn’t ask tho…

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
12:47 pm

Slim..I will answer it….if i give u money but u got a dude,then I am making sure ur puddy is in lockbox,sooner or later…

SlimNu

November 25th, 2013
12:48 pm

I’m guilty of trying to do more for others than I do myself. Always trying to help when I can but when it comes to me, i’m slow to do it.

kimmie

November 25th, 2013
12:51 pm

Disco – I don’t help folks with husbands or that are shacking. When I was single, my family had my back, even if I was dating someone. My close girlfriends and I, when single, would help each other out if our families could not. Just a pride thing, I guess. Once folks marry or shack, all bets are off.

2C – I can respect your 12:44.

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
12:52 pm

I’ain gon lie…..If I know you got a dude, and you ask me for money, yep, I do expect to get some….real talk….hell, he gettin it for free, but you want me to cake you? hell naw!

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
12:53 pm

2C- Yes, my ex’s brother. we knew he was going through a hard time & he didn’t think his brother would help so he called me. I never helped him again after that. And it was always, I will send you $50 a week to pay it back. Man, please! Still waiting on that $500.

disco

November 25th, 2013
12:56 pm

2C – wish you were my brother. that joker recently called me because he needed deposit money for an apartment. a whopping $100 and he was short. I gave him that with the quickness though. at least I know you won’t be trying to run a sob story to come stay with me. smdh.

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
12:57 pm

kimmie, cause my folks know how I get down…..if I’m on my d!ck, they know it’s only for a hot second….and on the other hand, they know I’ll give them (and their kids!) whatever! I got young relatives that’ll call me before they call thier parents….

“Uncle “2″, can you send me this……” and I do it too…..

disco

November 25th, 2013
12:57 pm

leggs – my girl and I go way back but the one time I lent/gifted money to her I sent the money directly to her momma. daggone shame but I simply don’t trust her to do what needs to be done. heck, if she was handling business she wouldn’t be short all the time.

disco

November 25th, 2013
12:59 pm

2C – I don’t mind my niece and nephew calling me for stuff. what I do mind is my sorry brother not being able to meet their needs/wants and telling them to call me. one time my nephew needed money for football registration calling me asking for it talking about his dad told him to call me because “I’m rich”. this is why I would sometimes like to bust my brother right in the jaw. lol.

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
1:00 pm

If I know you got a dude, and you ask me for money, yep, I do expect to get some….real talk

…..I think the real talk is that it is naive for any grown woman(24+) to expect otherwise…or to expect that if her dude found out that she was getting grant money from an ex or another man,it is an arms length transaction and he should not be angry or dismiss her because ..there was no shenanegans!

Ethically,it crossed the line.

disco

November 25th, 2013
1:03 pm

2C – or how come, when my brother and I (the good one) buy my mom stuff we always put that “other” one’s name on the card just to make my mother feel better. she knows her son ain’t worth a dang. sorry summ-a-ma…

ex – I have a gang of cats I can get “no strings attached” money from if I am ever in need. some may crack the occasional joke about getting some but like I told one “you couldn’t get with me if you were adam and I was eve”. it just ain’t going down. EVER.

kimmie

November 25th, 2013
1:04 pm

his dad told him to call me because “I’m rich”.

Disco – Now I would have a major problem with that!! But we have relatives that used to do just that to my parents. Hell, they were trying to raise US to be self-sufficient so why you think they supposed to be helping you?!!!

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
1:14 pm

Disco, you know you got it, you aint got nobody but yourself to take care of (LOL)

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
1:15 pm

I have a gang of cats I can get “no strings attached” money from if I am ever in need. some may crack the occasional joke about getting som

@Disco…but u know you are sepcial so u get a break..

besides u aint got a man(one man!) ….u got a gang of jokkers and freelancers :lol:

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
1:39 pm

Ex ~ how are the men in disco’s life freelancers?

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
1:45 pm

Single – that’s another thing that used to irritate me! Folks thinking just cause u single u got money and time to burn! They don’t know what have going!!

SlimNu

November 25th, 2013
1:51 pm

Kimmie – Just recently my mother rubbed me the wrong way. I just given my sister some money to catch up on school for my neice….i’m in the store buying groceries just two days later and I get a text from madukes…she’s saying that I guess my nieces school pics came back but they were outrageously high and my sis couldnt afford to buy any and to call her. I’m thinking, um….heyal naw. I just gave her some money. What I look like? lol

Mrs. SexyCool

November 25th, 2013
1:53 pm

I, too, am of the school of thought that if you have a husband or are shacking or have a man that you are laying up under regularly and he ain’t coming through in a bind – he is not the one you need to be with. Because if there is any asking or borrowing to be done, HE needs to be the one doing it.

One the other hand – I am certainly grateful to be in a position that I am no longer “the borrower.”

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
1:56 pm

Leggs….he men in disco’s life ..?

so at least we agree,Disco got men not a man in her life? :lol:

anyhoo….theyre freelances because they dont seem to have their own gals…..at least Disco has not disclosed that….they seem broke up guys in themselves..u know,those good for nothing fellas who cant seem to hold a gal down because of lameness even though they may work and make decent money.

Listen to Disco when she talk and how she descibes them. :lol: always putting them down.

I think its a lucrative scavenger hunt for Disco,no doubt.

Lame folks always and consistently getting outta pocket because of the same dern crafty gal! :lol:

..and No puddy! :lol: …theyre always smiling….grinning ear to ear even,when she show up next time! :lol:

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
1:58 pm

if there is any asking or borrowing to be done, HE needs to be the one doing it.

see,this is a grown Married Woman!

thanx Sexxy!

SlimNu

November 25th, 2013
2:03 pm

You assumed it was a matter of asking or needing money in a bind. BUddy just wanted to shell out some dollars. Just didn’t make must sense to me. There would have to be an invisible string lingering somewhere

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
2:09 pm

BUddy just wanted to shell out some dollars

there is no assumption that she needs it…Every woman wants diamod and gol..figuratiively speaking..we menfolks know that.

so Buddy will offer it..to entice!

If a man wants to lure the kitty….flashing gol will elicit some attn..maybe a thirsty look from a gal. :lol:

The trick is not to accept..whether u are in a bind or not..

its neither here nor there

DuShawn

November 25th, 2013
2:15 pm

“I have a gang of cats I can get “no strings attached” money from if I am ever in need.”…….There are a few females out there that are so cool with me they can get “no strings attached” loans. The operative word is “loans”. If we ain’t f*&ckin, oh trust, imma want my bread back…….with interest. And don’t try to give me the azz afterwards thinking that will negate your fiduciary obligation. Keep the puddy…run me my money.

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
2:16 pm

Ex ~ I listen to disco. I get what she’s saying about her “sponsors.” I don’t see them as the freelancer. She’s freelancer and they’re doing their best to bark up her tree!

DuShawn

November 25th, 2013
2:21 pm

man that you are laying up under regularly and he ain’t coming through in a bind – he is not the one you need to be with……I agree. If a man refuses to help a woman he’s sleeping with and has the means to do so, she has mistakenly overestimated her value. If he gave a dayum about you, he would help.

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
2:36 pm

DuShawn ~ that definitely hits home. When my home was broken into and I had wood up against the back window until I was able to buy a window there was a man interested in me. He came over after the incident and saw the wood and asked how much it would be to repair it. I told him and said the insurance company would reimburse me. Next thing I knew he had changed the topic. That didn’t sit well with me. No, I didn’t expect him to pay for fixing the window, but since he so desperately wanted to get in my panties he could have offered. That’s how I saw that.

disco

November 25th, 2013
2:41 pm

ex – re that 1:56 – just so you know I don’t deal with sorry dudes UNLESS I am related to them. that’s just different. lol. see earlier emails re my brother. the dudes I deal with are cool. I just don’t want them. I don’t understand why you don’t understand that but I won’t worry myself with it.

Mrs. SexyCool

November 25th, 2013
2:43 pm

M did something for me that was really big financially in the first year of our relationship. It was not a situation that I did not have well in hand. I was paying an IRS bill that I was managing with no problem. He made the decision to give (not loan) me the money to pay it in full because he didn’t want that hanging over me.

It let me know that not only was he willing to have my back, he was able to do so.

And THAT is a sexy @ss feeling.

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
2:44 pm

but since he so desperately wanted to get in my panties he could have offered.

you won’t admit to it, but this is a prime example of putting a price tag on the kitty….

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
2:45 pm

Leggs- He could have seen it as a loan since you were getting reimbursed. I know someone who is always going on about needing a good woman but don’t have 2 nickels to rub together (as grandma used to say) and no in-kind skills. So, ummm, what exactly are you offering a so-called good woman? a puff of your blunt?

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
2:48 pm

MsAtl….why he gotta smoke weed? ‘just sayin…..as y’all can prolly tell, I’m a staunch advocate for pro cannabis……

as Outkast said, “is every nikka wit dreads for the cause, is every nikka wit gold teeth for the fall? naw! ……”

DuShawn

November 25th, 2013
2:49 pm

I can remember the first time wifey came to my house; she met me at this barbershop in the hood, left her car there and rode out with me. When we got back someone had smashed her window and broke in her car. She was so upset, dayum near bout to cry. I calmed her down, made a few calls and had a glass man there to repair her car within an hour (I paid for it). In comparison, this other chick I was sleeping with asked me to pay her cable bill once…..I never called her again.
She overestimated her value.

Mrs. SexyCool

November 25th, 2013
2:50 pm

Du – boy…that, too, was sexy as h#ll….

disco

November 25th, 2013
2:51 pm

SC – that’s a lesson I got from my grandma before I was even old enough to understand the lesson. don’t ever be with a man that can’t or won’t do for you.

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
2:54 pm

free game for you ladies…….

if a dude is willing to speand money on you after y’all have had sex, he’s interested in you; if not, as Du stated, you’ve overestimated your value (btw, I like that!!!!)

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
2:55 pm

2C- Because he does.

Disco- I get that; especially the part where he can do for you and won’t.

DuShawn- Great job!

disco

November 25th, 2013
2:55 pm

2C – that ain’t free game cuz us real grown women know these jokers shoulda been done came out of pocket for something before it even got that far. lol.

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
2:56 pm

Now one thing I always thing about when these folks need some help, whether it me my woman, my friends, or my family. WHO can I call if I never needed any help, usually the ones asking don’t ever have anything to help with. I’ll just keep mine for my rainy day.

See Disco, I’m selfish too (LOL)

Mrs. SexyCool

November 25th, 2013
2:56 pm

disco – it was a turn around for me. I had to learn that “taking care of my man” did not mean coming out of my wallet all willy-nilly – and yes, there have been times, in the past, that I have done that.

And please believe that my husband can get anything I’ve got.

However, there was a time when I was mistaken about how finances played into a **growing** relationship and what I should have been doing (or more accurately NOT doing) for someone who had not earned that kind of support from me.

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
2:58 pm

he dudes I deal with are cool

@Disco..

theyere NOT cool in most mens eyes unless they are getting some for it!

You aint dealing with wealthy folks..u dealing with average joes like myself…..and I dont care where on earthu are..no man dispenswes with money like that without expectation….unless ofcourse theyre lame.

COOL is a term ur mindset categorizes them in..because the act of getting money is good for U….but u are a scavenger hunter..so u wont see it any other way…i can understand that! :lol:

@Leggs…u read Disco too, yes..do the men she gets free money from sound like they have girlfriends/wives..has she shared that..maybe i missed it…refresh my memory! :lol:

disco

November 25th, 2013
3:01 pm

SC – I have male friends that I will do what I can to help. honestly, a guy I’m dating, especially if it’s relatively new, will get nothing but side eye coming to me for financial assistance. it’s just not a good look. he better have friends, family, frat an ex-girlfriend or somebody but I can’t be giving up my money to no man. just not my style. now I can pick up the tab here and there or but a token gift or something but we won’t have any misunderstandings about how I feel about females supporting men. no sirreee bob on that one.

ex – almost every man alive has been where “my dudes” are. he may not stay there. he may not be there constantly but almost every single one has been there at some point in time. as has been stated before, I’m not the only chick got it like this which stands to reason there are many, many more men out there like that. why does this perturb you so?

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
3:02 pm

MsAtl…..I remember back in the days when I was smoking weed, I had a hook-up with a blog gal….she was bragging bout how good she looked, and the whole nine…well, she lived in Clayton County, and I lived in Cobb….so prior to the meeting, I rolled a nice one, and put it in my center console, so after the “date” and I dropped her off, I had one on deck; lo and behold, chic looked a hot mess! I was like, OMG, how do I get out of this…..so when we got in my car, I simply fired that mugg up…she was like, what are you doing??? I said, I’m bout to smoke one….she said, not with me in the car! screeeeech! hooked a U-turn, and dropped her ass right back off, not even a block from her house….she disappeared from the blog after that!

DuShawn

November 25th, 2013
3:03 pm

Disco – c’mon now. I’m sure a few men done talked you out them panties without spending a dime.

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
3:03 pm

and Disco..I aint hating on ya side bizz…just calling it the way i see it.

If u start real gol digging from folks who dont trick because they got it….I will upgrade my valuation of ur side bizz! :lol:

when u start bragging about u hanging with real ballers and business folks in ur hood..I will have an elevated opinion of ur hustle! :lol:

Chink

November 25th, 2013
3:04 pm

disco

November 25th, 2013
3:04 pm

ex – I am not currently dating. not dating a married man, a single man, a man with a live in girlfriend, a man across town, a man across the country. none of that. NOW if you really wanna know how I do, IF/WHEN I’m in the mode – at the end of the day I will let it be known that I don’t give a rat’s behind about a girlfriend. she’s not a wife. as far as I’m concerned she and I are equal – two chicks trying to get the man. some women don’t like that. they are entitled. I’m just telling you how I get down (when I’m getting down – lol).

Mrs. SexyCool

November 25th, 2013
3:04 pm

Toucan – are you talking about that chick with the bubble gum body?

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
3:06 pm

but since he so desperately wanted to get in my panties he could have offered.

you won’t admit to it, but this is a prime example of putting a price tag on the kitty….

How can I not admit to, I just typed it!!! You want my jewels, but you won’t help me out when clearly I needed it. Jewels stay where they are.

disco

November 25th, 2013
3:06 pm

ex – I don’t want to go there with you but in the words of dr. seuss “oh the many places we could go”….

D – I’m not the get talked out of the panties type. I’m too “hot in the tail” for that. if anything, I’m getting mine NOT letting him get his. we’ve discussed this before as well. real grown women call the shots when it comes to dishing out the goods. only those dingbat chicks get coerced into it.

Mrs. SexyCool

November 25th, 2013
3:08 pm

disco – that book is my fave baby shower gift to give.

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
3:09 pm

2C- I am cracking up at that story.

Single- After losing a chunk to “loans” and learning the hard way that there were not many folks I could call if I needed something, I learned to say no. Sadly, they were all family members…

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
3:09 pm

Disco, yep been there done that, a may do it again. But as I tell people, IT’S MY MONEY, I CAN DO WHAT THE HELL I WANT TO WITH IT We know where to cut them off at.

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
3:09 pm

2C/DuShawn ~ not saying you guys are saying I overestimated my value, because you guy could be further from the truth. My value is so damn good, 30 years later that same dude is still after it (lolol)! Again, he could have offered but didn’t because he’s cheap as hell.

Chink

November 25th, 2013
3:10 pm

Oh my comments have finally made it thru!

Hi Ya’ll!!

Be Honest!

Don’t lend money out – Just say No!! If I ever need money I am going to the Bank to get a Loan!

Read this quote on FB …Some people are so poor all they have is money!

I am more concerned on how someone will treat my heart …I can purchase whatever I need.

DuShawn

November 25th, 2013
3:10 pm

“only those dingbat chicks get coerced into it.” ….I’m so thankful for the dingbats.

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
3:11 pm

Sexy, YES!!! you remember that!!!!

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
3:12 pm

“…she disappeared from the blog after that!”

2C ~ I am rolling over here…that was funny!

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
3:13 pm

ex – I am not currently dating.

@Disco…u Dont date.

U git money! :lol: from Lame dudes!

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
3:15 pm

that’s a true story Leggs…..I told that story on the blog right after it happened……

she prolly lurked, and cursed me out, but I’ain care…..misrepresentin ass heifer!

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
3:17 pm

so y’all ladies want the truth……how many of y’all would take a dude up on is offer, if he came at you like, “look lil mama, I’m diggin’ you; but I gotta ol lady; you need me, I got you; and if I need you, I hope you got me too!”

Real talk, how many of y’all can dig that?

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
3:17 pm

2C ~ I know it’s a true story…I know!

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
3:18 pm

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
3:19 pm

2C ~ I was online when a guy basically said just that. I told him I appreciate his honesty but we were looking for different things. I wished him well in his quest and he wished me well in mine…NEXT….

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
3:19 pm

So, my answer is I can dig it, but won’t go for it.

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
3:20 pm

Hey SCool – protect & provide, u knew u had a winner in M. My hubs offered something similar before we got engaged. I was able to take care of it on my own, but just the sincere offer told me a lot!

R u cooking for thanksgiving?

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
3:20 pm

MsAtl…..in your case, a real player would switch his game up….”knowing your audience type situation.”

disco

November 25th, 2013
3:22 pm

2C – been there. not there now (not even going to say I’ll never be there again because you never know what the future holds. let times get hard enough. ijs). it is what it is. I’ve told the story a few times about old boy whose girl came to my house and stole his car and put it in long term parking at the airport. she knew about me but she couldn’t keep her man away from me. I knew about her but didn’t care because I got out of it what I wanted out of it. she never stepped to me so it was all good.

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
3:23 pm

but I gotta ol lady; you need me, I got you

2C..Blog chics are angels, except Disco maybe.

But that scenario happens….if my money was right, i wld think bout it as well…

Hel l every business man u can think of has one and all the congressman in washington got a side chics there…

Celisea

November 25th, 2013
3:23 pm

I’m saying a big ole “wooooow”, to some of the comments.

Coochie ain’t for sale, but it ain’t free either. I’m team, don’t screw dudes that can’t have your back. I too have had gfs ask me to spot them something AFTER getting booed. Well, I feel the say way, you out giving but you can’t get….in the time of need? I’m not say pouce, take advantage, use, bamboozle folks. But sometimes folks get in a bind and the perfect come-up or solution is your dude. And yep, I thinking all kinds of things to a chick that wants me to treat, loan, spot, hold something and she’s under a dude. Ain’t happening. Be smart aboutcha gettins and givings…IJS

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
3:24 pm

2C – gotta put myself in his lady’s shoes & say no. I would bust a cap in my hubs behind if I found out he was doing some ish like that! :shock:

Celisea

November 25th, 2013
3:25 pm

And your “dude” being your solution should be where he can “see” you need help. You up in the cut, as in “the cut”, but you don’t have a clue as to what’s going on….just a clue now?

Celisea

November 25th, 2013
3:26 pm

Have a good day!

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
3:26 pm

“…if my money was right, i wld think bout it as well” – if that’s the only thing stopping you……….

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
3:26 pm

Cel – preach

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
3:27 pm

you out giving but you can’t get

@Celisea..out giving what?

sex?

thought it was a fair exchange..u blaze me,i blaze u!? NO? :lol:

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
3:27 pm

I’m team, don’t screw dudes that can’t have your back. – Exactly, plain and simple!

DuShawn

November 25th, 2013
3:27 pm

I’ve never asked a chick for money. However, there was a time during me my lady’s courtship where shid got rough. My business failed, I had to close the doors, sell the building, and liquidate 90% of my assets to pay creditors. I was sleeping in my only remaining property on a couch (which was dayum near all the that was in there.) I was depressed like a muffugga. I ain’t even want her to see me like that. One day a furniture truck pulled up. She had bought me a bedroom set and a dining room set. I called and ask her why she did it …..She said if she gone be chillin over there she is not sleeping on no couch or that f&*kin air mattress.

Celisea

November 25th, 2013
3:28 pm

Hey Kimmie!!

Celisea

November 25th, 2013
3:29 pm

MMeello (See I was tryna ease in and back out :) ) Now you know once things “happen” there’s a slight imbalance….imbalance being coochie ain’t for sale, but it ain’t free. Yeah, there’s a price tag…eventually :)

Hey Leggs – LOOOOVED the turkey thingy. I’ve sent to folks already :)

disco

November 25th, 2013
3:30 pm

kimmie – lol. I know I’m wrong for laughing but whatever. so dude I just mentioned goes way way back. I moved away in 1996. he and I are still cool to this day. in the meantime, he married her, had kids, (served his marital time – lol) and divorced her. it burns her up that we’re still cool. I wasn’t there. I was never a threat to her marriage. one time in a heated discussion (occasionally she’d nerve up and call me) I told her he only married her because I took myself out the picture. she argued it but I could tell she really wondered about it. get some business chick. lol.

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
3:34 pm

@Leggs..Lotta money gives a person,any person lot of options….. :lol:

think shopping!

men shop differently! :lol:

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
3:37 pm

Du, that’s real sh!t, right there; cuase she knew your abilities….not even potential, cause to me, potential is “in the making,” but you had already made it…..and just hit a stumbling block….

Cutie, you reading this?

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
3:37 pm

Ex- It’s not that we are angels; I would not appreciate it being done to me, so… Not to mention, I am not looking to be someone’s side piece and that is all that situation would be.

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
3:38 pm

imbalance being coochie ain’t for sale,

@Celiesea..u telling me truthfuly that if a man……,ur man ..is hitting it real good..hitting the ball outta the park..arent there days ur coochie will be thumping as u sit on ur desk at work..wishing and thinking u cld slide back to to his house…. for a romp?

its only us men who crave for it?

why the skewed valuation of ur cooochie only? …when u are in a relationship with him?

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
3:40 pm

and that’s why I love a gal with a hustler’s mentality……she know how to get it too!!!

disco

November 25th, 2013
3:42 pm

kimmie – and the thing was I was young, not 21 yet. still in college. living in the projects. a “progressive” hoodrat so to speak. she was about 10-12 years older and couldn’t believe that I was her competition. she either grossly overestimated her value or gross underestimated mine. lol.

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
3:42 pm

Ex ~ my statement had nothing do with money or various levels of shopping. Read again perhaps you can pick up on my sentiment.

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
3:42 pm

oh, Sexy….I’mma be in town in a few…..know any good chiropractors :wink: ?

Mrs. SexyCool

November 25th, 2013
3:45 pm

kimmie – I am cooking T-Day Light – I am running the T-Day Half that morning. So, I will not be doing a full spread.

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
3:45 pm

@Msatl…if u were a side piece,getting rent money and other monhtly financial benefits..is that something u wld share on the blog?

Mrs. SexyCool

November 25th, 2013
3:46 pm

Let me see what’s going on with mine. I haven’t talked to her in a few weeks. I don’t know if she’s freed up her schedule.

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
3:46 pm

Leggs..i am not understanding..make me understand unless u dont want to communicate…

Celisea

November 25th, 2013
3:47 pm

Celiesea..u telling me truthfuly that if a man……,ur man ..is hitting it real good..hitting the ball outta the park..arent there days ur coochie will be thumping as u sit on ur desk at work..wishing and thinking u cld slide back to to his house…. for a romp?

Honestly not tryna be funny, but this has nothing to do with what I was saying. All I’m saying is know your worth. Any woman that’s freely giving it up to a dude, obliging should be smart enough to know or gauge if he’s “that” dude. That dude what will have her back, should she ever need to lean on him. I’m just saying I’ve NEVER and don’t get women that will give themselves away, but can’t find a dude that’s gonna go in the trenches should she need help. Life happens to everyone at some point and likely, you’ll need someone to lean on. Now, all I’m saying is that if you’re booed or giving it away, y’alls “boo-dom” should consist on more than sex. Now what you’re getting into, know if you got a quality stand-up dude. The only time he comes around is to knock your back out. He ain’t nowhere to be found if you something goes awry……hot water heater goes out and house flooded (yeah you calling the insurance company but you need a helping hand), house broken into, dude is ghost, your car goes out (yeah, you’re calling the ins or AAA), but still you call your dude second, after calling them. If he can’t come buy, pick you up, give you a ride, offer to pay for repairs….heck something, but always laying on your coochie, you ain’t a smart chick.

DuShawn

November 25th, 2013
3:49 pm

coochie ain’t for sale, but it ain’t free……shidddd, I ain’t trying to make a purchase, just let me get a few of them free samples.

That reminds me of this Joke. This dude is talking to this hooker. He says:
Dude -”Baby, you gone give it to me like I like it?!!!!
Hooker – OOOOhhh Dadday, Imma give it to you just like you like it!!
Dude – Baby, I want it like I like it!!!
Hooker – Daddy Imma take care of you, Imma give it to you every way you like it.
Dude- You know how Daddy likes it….right baby?
Hooker – Tell me how you like it Daddy?
Dude – Daddy likes it on credit baby…..on credit.

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
3:49 pm

difference ‘tween us and y’all, a dude don’t mind being a side dude; ‘less he the type to catch feelings, and wanna switch up the game….

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
3:49 pm

Disco – sounds like the dude I dated on & off here & there but never took serious cause he was a player. Fine as wine, but a ho. In the meantime the was this other chick that loved his dirty draws & was jealous of me. She had zero to worry about. Well he always said if he ever got a lady pregnant he would marry her. U know what she did, I don’t need to tell u.lol I cracked up when he called me miserable! That’s what both their behinds get! Last time I ran into him about 5 years ago he was fat & divorced. I was, of course, looking fabulous!

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
3:49 pm

Ex- I’ve shared more personal things on the blog. If I’m grown enough to do it, why hide it?

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
3:49 pm

disco

November 25th, 2013
3:50 pm

C – or to re-use a word I used earlier – “dingbat”. lol.

Celisea

November 25th, 2013
3:53 pm

disco – Igggg zackly. And the funny thing is, over the years, it never fails. You gon have that chick that singing her “new dudes” praises, but she can’t get squat out of here. IT….NEVER….FAILS!!!

I’m not better or anything like that, and it might not be right how I’m wording it, but if you getting it??? You are my source, should I need help. Now, I don’t believe in asking a dude for a dern thing, that’s why I work. BUT, I do make it clear that he’s gotta be but from the “I got you” cloth.

Celisea

November 25th, 2013
3:54 pm

Alright kiddie, I’m out of here. Just peeked in. Y’all be good. If I don’t peek back in before Thanksgiving, you all be safe and have a wonderful holiday :)

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
3:55 pm

@Celisea..If he can’t come buy, pick you up, give you a ride, offer to pay for repairs….heck something, but always laying on your coochie, you ain’t a smart chick.

u cld have a boyhood male friend do this for ya….and the puddy goes scot free..because he is a friend.

seems ladies put their puddy on a pedestal as leverage then! :lol:

and it shows us dudes cant do the same…..never mind he may be a shoe size 18……a girl still wanna know how much bank he makes…. :lol: never mind the show size….she still gon gripe..there is no guarantee he can use it! da he l l

damn…!!

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
3:55 pm

Cel – again, PREACH!

Celisea

November 25th, 2013
4:00 pm

MMeello, hush…lol You know what I’m saying. You get it. Queen is queen, right? And to this?

u cld have a boyhood male friend do this for ya….and the puddy goes scot free..because he is a friend. If I’m understanding the statement right, even better…lol If it’s just a dude-friend from around the way. In that case, he comes by or is there for you as you bff, then you break off a lil kitchen sum’in sum’in. Hook him up with a dish, get him a Christmas gift, (fingernail clippers) or something for cleaning your gutters or helping you that broken window. If he’s just a good friend, ain’t no smashing.

All I’m saying is, if y’all smashing, don’t be ’round here hitting folks up. Call on him.

Celisea

November 25th, 2013
4:01 pm

Kimmie – :mrgreen:

Okay, gotta run for real….ttyl

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
4:01 pm

Ex – u get it, u just trying to play devils advocate. Heck even if dude is broke, u should still be able to call him for a ride if your car breaks down!! Heck I don’t know any childhood male friends I could call – we all grown & moved on. But I can’t call my man to help me out, man go sit down!! Lol!

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
4:04 pm

Ex ~ all I was saying is if not having a lot of loot is what’s stopping you, then perhaps there’s bigger problems. You rarely talk like a married man so was wondering if you did have more money would you step or do you just like talking about things you wish you could do? I say that because you no where in your statement did you say if you were single since all the rest of your comments come from the perspective of being married. That’s all I was saying.

disco

November 25th, 2013
4:05 pm

come on now ladies. we all know ex is “special” or “precious” or any other number of “southern belle” terms. bless his heart. lol.

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
4:07 pm

Celisea- See ya; have a good Thanksgiving.

Kimmie- A friend of mine guy drove her to get groceries (which he was going to eat) then got mad because she didn’t put gas in his car.

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
4:09 pm

ohh..Leggs…we were talking bout married folks getting side chics..so i thought!

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
4:13 pm

and Leggs..the married congressman i was talk bout..they aint stepped..still married but they got side pieces…..

thats what men with a lot of loot do! :lol:

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
4:14 pm

disco ~ true (lol).

DuShawn

November 25th, 2013
4:14 pm

I think as grown ups, we all know any woman of quality will not require a man to support her financially. Ocassionally help if needed yes, but not support. As a dude, honestly, being broke is embarrassing. If you don’t have money, your focus should be on trying to get some….. not dating. If you don’t have the financial wherewithal to pursue a woman of quality….lower your standards till you get your bread right. Find you a couple dingbats that will let you stab for some churches chicken and some weed to hold you over.

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
4:15 pm

“they aint stepped..still married but they got side pieces…..”

Bless your heart. If they got side pieces, then they’ve “stepped.”

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
4:16 pm

Find you a couple dingbats that will let you stab for some churches chicken and some weed to hold you over.

..@Du..the coochie value is lower?!

u aint right! :lol:

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
4:17 pm

ohh..u rigght :lol:

Celisea

November 25th, 2013
4:17 pm

Find you a couple dingbats that will let you stab for some churches chicken and some weed to hold you over.

Hi larious…I was tryna pack up to go home….just had to come back and say “toooo funny.”

disco

November 25th, 2013
4:17 pm

ex – there are chicks that will buy the church’s chicken, the sack, the phillies and throw in a few shots of henny. what? lol.

Celisea

November 25th, 2013
4:18 pm

There’s a CC still open on Bankhead, I believe. My sister said they have .99 cent Thurdays. What they gon do on Thanksgiving? That’s probably the last CC still opened.

Okay, bye….for real

disco

November 25th, 2013
4:19 pm

toodles. LOLOL.

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
4:20 pm

Before every one leaves, I hope all of you enjoy your family and friends this holiday and have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Today is my last day at work so enjoy and remember once you are full, lay on the floor not couch. It feels so much better (lol).

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
4:21 pm

Celisea ~ there’s a CC on Flakes Mill that’s still open. I think it’s still open???

disco

November 25th, 2013
4:24 pm

leggs – I have approximately 24 hours to determine if I’m going to cook. quite frankly, I’m not feeling it. we shall see.

Durty Burd

November 25th, 2013
4:25 pm

Paying or valueing coochie…Not….If I deem you the type of woman who I could grow with, then yes here is the money you need to do what you need to do. I don’t value coochie there are simply too many ways to get coochie with a limited effort that might only cost a one drink. In some cases nothing,they just wanted some dizzle. Funny part about women they think a dude buying something dinner, etc represents value to the coochie..Thats like not spending money at all!

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
4:27 pm

u only cook on thanxgiving…for ur self?

@Disco…..who is coming home for thanxG?

disco

November 25th, 2013
4:27 pm

DB – just because you trying to get it on the cheap doesn’t mean you don’t value it. ijs.

disco

November 25th, 2013
4:29 pm

ex – what? I can’t eat? lol.

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
4:31 pm

Take it from me
Someday we’ll all be free!!

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
4:35 pm

Leggs- Enjoy your Thanksgiving.

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
4:35 pm

Donny Hathaway!

Durty Burd

November 25th, 2013
4:37 pm

Disco… I am never trying to get it on the cheap, but you know you can run into puddy at any given time. Co-worker having trouble with dude, co-worker breaking up with dude, women who’s dude is boring and the sack and they are looking at you like I’m going to give him some I want to see what he can do with it…

Happens all the time with no funds spent.

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
4:37 pm

Someday we’ll all be free!!

we shall overcome fo real!

Exiled!

November 25th, 2013
4:59 pm