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Dating: How honest should we be?

Everyone says that relationships work better when there is honesty. Oddly enough, honesty can have the opposite effect in dating. Can you remember the last time you were totally honest on a date? Do you know how someone would react if you said exactly what you were thinking?

I think everyone tries to filter themselves and put their best foot forward. This usually means we aren’t saying the total truth because the whole truth could get…well rather awkward! So when it comes to dating, how honest should we be and how long should it take for total honesty?

Do you think that people can handle honesty?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

236 comments Add your comment

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
3:06 pm

but since he so desperately wanted to get in my panties he could have offered.

you won’t admit to it, but this is a prime example of putting a price tag on the kitty….

How can I not admit to, I just typed it!!! You want my jewels, but you won’t help me out when clearly I needed it. Jewels stay where they are.

disco

November 25th, 2013
3:06 pm

ex – I don’t want to go there with you but in the words of dr. seuss “oh the many places we could go”….

D – I’m not the get talked out of the panties type. I’m too “hot in the tail” for that. if anything, I’m getting mine NOT letting him get his. we’ve discussed this before as well. real grown women call the shots when it comes to dishing out the goods. only those dingbat chicks get coerced into it.

Mrs. SexyCool

November 25th, 2013
3:08 pm

disco – that book is my fave baby shower gift to give.

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
3:09 pm

2C- I am cracking up at that story.

Single- After losing a chunk to “loans” and learning the hard way that there were not many folks I could call if I needed something, I learned to say no. Sadly, they were all family members…

Single and Happy

November 25th, 2013
3:09 pm

Disco, yep been there done that, a may do it again. But as I tell people, IT’S MY MONEY, I CAN DO WHAT THE HELL I WANT TO WITH IT We know where to cut them off at.

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
3:09 pm

2C/DuShawn ~ not saying you guys are saying I overestimated my value, because you guy could be further from the truth. My value is so damn good, 30 years later that same dude is still after it (lolol)! Again, he could have offered but didn’t because he’s cheap as hell.

Chink

November 25th, 2013
3:10 pm

Oh my comments have finally made it thru!

Hi Ya’ll!!

Be Honest!

Don’t lend money out – Just say No!! If I ever need money I am going to the Bank to get a Loan!

Read this quote on FB …Some people are so poor all they have is money!

I am more concerned on how someone will treat my heart …I can purchase whatever I need.

DuShawn

November 25th, 2013
3:10 pm

“only those dingbat chicks get coerced into it.” ….I’m so thankful for the dingbats.

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
3:11 pm

Sexy, YES!!! you remember that!!!!

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
3:12 pm

“…she disappeared from the blog after that!”

2C ~ I am rolling over here…that was funny!

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
3:13 pm

ex – I am not currently dating.

@Disco…u Dont date.

U git money! :lol: from Lame dudes!

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
3:15 pm

that’s a true story Leggs…..I told that story on the blog right after it happened……

she prolly lurked, and cursed me out, but I’ain care…..misrepresentin ass heifer!

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
3:17 pm

so y’all ladies want the truth……how many of y’all would take a dude up on is offer, if he came at you like, “look lil mama, I’m diggin’ you; but I gotta ol lady; you need me, I got you; and if I need you, I hope you got me too!”

Real talk, how many of y’all can dig that?

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
3:17 pm

2C ~ I know it’s a true story…I know!

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
3:18 pm

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
3:19 pm

2C ~ I was online when a guy basically said just that. I told him I appreciate his honesty but we were looking for different things. I wished him well in his quest and he wished me well in mine…NEXT….

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
3:19 pm

So, my answer is I can dig it, but won’t go for it.

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
3:20 pm

Hey SCool – protect & provide, u knew u had a winner in M. My hubs offered something similar before we got engaged. I was able to take care of it on my own, but just the sincere offer told me a lot!

R u cooking for thanksgiving?

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
3:20 pm

MsAtl…..in your case, a real player would switch his game up….”knowing your audience type situation.”

disco

November 25th, 2013
3:22 pm

2C – been there. not there now (not even going to say I’ll never be there again because you never know what the future holds. let times get hard enough. ijs). it is what it is. I’ve told the story a few times about old boy whose girl came to my house and stole his car and put it in long term parking at the airport. she knew about me but she couldn’t keep her man away from me. I knew about her but didn’t care because I got out of it what I wanted out of it. she never stepped to me so it was all good.

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
3:23 pm

but I gotta ol lady; you need me, I got you

2C..Blog chics are angels, except Disco maybe.

But that scenario happens….if my money was right, i wld think bout it as well…

Hel l every business man u can think of has one and all the congressman in washington got a side chics there…

Celisea

November 25th, 2013
3:23 pm

I’m saying a big ole “wooooow”, to some of the comments.

Coochie ain’t for sale, but it ain’t free either. I’m team, don’t screw dudes that can’t have your back. I too have had gfs ask me to spot them something AFTER getting booed. Well, I feel the say way, you out giving but you can’t get….in the time of need? I’m not say pouce, take advantage, use, bamboozle folks. But sometimes folks get in a bind and the perfect come-up or solution is your dude. And yep, I thinking all kinds of things to a chick that wants me to treat, loan, spot, hold something and she’s under a dude. Ain’t happening. Be smart aboutcha gettins and givings…IJS

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
3:24 pm

2C – gotta put myself in his lady’s shoes & say no. I would bust a cap in my hubs behind if I found out he was doing some ish like that! :shock:

Celisea

November 25th, 2013
3:25 pm

And your “dude” being your solution should be where he can “see” you need help. You up in the cut, as in “the cut”, but you don’t have a clue as to what’s going on….just a clue now?

Celisea

November 25th, 2013
3:26 pm

Have a good day!

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
3:26 pm

“…if my money was right, i wld think bout it as well” – if that’s the only thing stopping you……….

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
3:26 pm

Cel – preach

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
3:27 pm

you out giving but you can’t get

@Celisea..out giving what?

sex?

thought it was a fair exchange..u blaze me,i blaze u!? NO? :lol:

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
3:27 pm

I’m team, don’t screw dudes that can’t have your back. – Exactly, plain and simple!

DuShawn

November 25th, 2013
3:27 pm

I’ve never asked a chick for money. However, there was a time during me my lady’s courtship where shid got rough. My business failed, I had to close the doors, sell the building, and liquidate 90% of my assets to pay creditors. I was sleeping in my only remaining property on a couch (which was dayum near all the that was in there.) I was depressed like a muffugga. I ain’t even want her to see me like that. One day a furniture truck pulled up. She had bought me a bedroom set and a dining room set. I called and ask her why she did it …..She said if she gone be chillin over there she is not sleeping on no couch or that f&*kin air mattress.

Celisea

November 25th, 2013
3:28 pm

Hey Kimmie!!

Celisea

November 25th, 2013
3:29 pm

MMeello (See I was tryna ease in and back out :) ) Now you know once things “happen” there’s a slight imbalance….imbalance being coochie ain’t for sale, but it ain’t free. Yeah, there’s a price tag…eventually :)

Hey Leggs – LOOOOVED the turkey thingy. I’ve sent to folks already :)

disco

November 25th, 2013
3:30 pm

kimmie – lol. I know I’m wrong for laughing but whatever. so dude I just mentioned goes way way back. I moved away in 1996. he and I are still cool to this day. in the meantime, he married her, had kids, (served his marital time – lol) and divorced her. it burns her up that we’re still cool. I wasn’t there. I was never a threat to her marriage. one time in a heated discussion (occasionally she’d nerve up and call me) I told her he only married her because I took myself out the picture. she argued it but I could tell she really wondered about it. get some business chick. lol.

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
3:34 pm

@Leggs..Lotta money gives a person,any person lot of options….. :lol:

think shopping!

men shop differently! :lol:

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
3:37 pm

Du, that’s real sh!t, right there; cuase she knew your abilities….not even potential, cause to me, potential is “in the making,” but you had already made it…..and just hit a stumbling block….

Cutie, you reading this?

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
3:37 pm

Ex- It’s not that we are angels; I would not appreciate it being done to me, so… Not to mention, I am not looking to be someone’s side piece and that is all that situation would be.

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
3:38 pm

imbalance being coochie ain’t for sale,

@Celiesea..u telling me truthfuly that if a man……,ur man ..is hitting it real good..hitting the ball outta the park..arent there days ur coochie will be thumping as u sit on ur desk at work..wishing and thinking u cld slide back to to his house…. for a romp?

its only us men who crave for it?

why the skewed valuation of ur cooochie only? …when u are in a relationship with him?

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
3:40 pm

and that’s why I love a gal with a hustler’s mentality……she know how to get it too!!!

disco

November 25th, 2013
3:42 pm

kimmie – and the thing was I was young, not 21 yet. still in college. living in the projects. a “progressive” hoodrat so to speak. she was about 10-12 years older and couldn’t believe that I was her competition. she either grossly overestimated her value or gross underestimated mine. lol.

Leggs

November 25th, 2013
3:42 pm

Ex ~ my statement had nothing do with money or various levels of shopping. Read again perhaps you can pick up on my sentiment.

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
3:42 pm

oh, Sexy….I’mma be in town in a few…..know any good chiropractors :wink: ?

Mrs. SexyCool

November 25th, 2013
3:45 pm

kimmie – I am cooking T-Day Light – I am running the T-Day Half that morning. So, I will not be doing a full spread.

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
3:45 pm

@Msatl…if u were a side piece,getting rent money and other monhtly financial benefits..is that something u wld share on the blog?

Mrs. SexyCool

November 25th, 2013
3:46 pm

Let me see what’s going on with mine. I haven’t talked to her in a few weeks. I don’t know if she’s freed up her schedule.

Exiled

November 25th, 2013
3:46 pm

Leggs..i am not understanding..make me understand unless u dont want to communicate…

Celisea

November 25th, 2013
3:47 pm

Celiesea..u telling me truthfuly that if a man……,ur man ..is hitting it real good..hitting the ball outta the park..arent there days ur coochie will be thumping as u sit on ur desk at work..wishing and thinking u cld slide back to to his house…. for a romp?

Honestly not tryna be funny, but this has nothing to do with what I was saying. All I’m saying is know your worth. Any woman that’s freely giving it up to a dude, obliging should be smart enough to know or gauge if he’s “that” dude. That dude what will have her back, should she ever need to lean on him. I’m just saying I’ve NEVER and don’t get women that will give themselves away, but can’t find a dude that’s gonna go in the trenches should she need help. Life happens to everyone at some point and likely, you’ll need someone to lean on. Now, all I’m saying is that if you’re booed or giving it away, y’alls “boo-dom” should consist on more than sex. Now what you’re getting into, know if you got a quality stand-up dude. The only time he comes around is to knock your back out. He ain’t nowhere to be found if you something goes awry……hot water heater goes out and house flooded (yeah you calling the insurance company but you need a helping hand), house broken into, dude is ghost, your car goes out (yeah, you’re calling the ins or AAA), but still you call your dude second, after calling them. If he can’t come buy, pick you up, give you a ride, offer to pay for repairs….heck something, but always laying on your coochie, you ain’t a smart chick.

DuShawn

November 25th, 2013
3:49 pm

coochie ain’t for sale, but it ain’t free……shidddd, I ain’t trying to make a purchase, just let me get a few of them free samples.

That reminds me of this Joke. This dude is talking to this hooker. He says:
Dude -”Baby, you gone give it to me like I like it?!!!!
Hooker – OOOOhhh Dadday, Imma give it to you just like you like it!!
Dude – Baby, I want it like I like it!!!
Hooker – Daddy Imma take care of you, Imma give it to you every way you like it.
Dude- You know how Daddy likes it….right baby?
Hooker – Tell me how you like it Daddy?
Dude – Daddy likes it on credit baby…..on credit.

2CPTG©

November 25th, 2013
3:49 pm

difference ‘tween us and y’all, a dude don’t mind being a side dude; ‘less he the type to catch feelings, and wanna switch up the game….

Kimmie

November 25th, 2013
3:49 pm

Disco – sounds like the dude I dated on & off here & there but never took serious cause he was a player. Fine as wine, but a ho. In the meantime the was this other chick that loved his dirty draws & was jealous of me. She had zero to worry about. Well he always said if he ever got a lady pregnant he would marry her. U know what she did, I don’t need to tell u.lol I cracked up when he called me miserable! That’s what both their behinds get! Last time I ran into him about 5 years ago he was fat & divorced. I was, of course, looking fabulous!

MsAtl

November 25th, 2013
3:49 pm

Ex- I’ve shared more personal things on the blog. If I’m grown enough to do it, why hide it?