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Office romance: good, bad, and the ugly

Considering the amount of time many of us spend at work, it is not a surprise when romance enters the picture. I believe dating your co-workers is probably one of the riskiest moves a person can make. There is potential for a lot of drama and if things don’t work out, you are left to carry the burden of your bad romance in the office.

I have heard of couples who say that dating someone at work was the only way they were ever going to find anyone. I have also witnessed a really bad break up among co-workers. Worst case scenario has to be the couple who literally got into a physical fight when one dumped the other.

Do you think that dating a co-worker is appropriate? What if the person was your boss?

What are the pros and cons of dating at work? What are some tips would you give on office romance?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

240 comments Add your comment

George P Burdell

November 19th, 2013
7:45 am

Don’t dip the pen in company ink.

Button

November 19th, 2013
8:22 am

Do you think that dating a co-worker is appropriate? Yes if you’re a mature adult, nope if you;re immature.

What if the person was your boss? Nope, it’s usaually against company policy to date your superior isn’t it?

I’ve seen marriages form from working together at the same companies I’ve worked for. It’s all about how you handle it. I myself wouldn’t want to date a co worker/colleauge, no real reason as to why, I never wanted to go that route I do however have an office husband lol. He orders my supplies, do things for me with my customers, buy lunch/breakfast, if I have any issues he’s there. We joke back and forth about how we’re office spouse.

I can understand the pangs of seeing an ex should the relationship turn sour that’s the only objection I have about interoffice dating. —Good morning!

Single & Happy

November 19th, 2013
8:28 am

Hello all

All these do’s and don’ts about dating make something so simple too complicated, do what makes you happy! LIFE is too short, and none of us are going to make it out alive! So enjoy it while you can!

Chink

November 19th, 2013
8:31 am

Good Morning!

The Good – You get really close.

The Bad – You too close.

The Ugly – The Breakup

Done it twice can’t do it again …but they were long relationships …..the only issue I have is when its over it’s not a clean break. They can try to see you without asking…just dropping by.

SlimNu

November 19th, 2013
8:57 am

Sounds like a recipe for disaster…only ever dated one person I worked with and we ended up together for 10yrs. But he did not work at the same place for very long.

YesSheIsCute

November 19th, 2013
9:10 am

Good morning everyone!

There are a number of places where I wouldn’t date someone, one is the work place. While I am mature to handle a breakup of some sort, I can never be sure how the other person may handle it. I’d rather just avoid having any kind of tension at work if I don’t need to. I spend almost half of my day sometimes here. I’d hate it to be more unpleasant than it has to be. I’ve seen it work with some people. I’ve seen people get away with openly dating their superiors and I’ve seen a superior fired for the same thing. There’s always another pond to fish from.

MsAtl

November 19th, 2013
9:10 am

Morning All!

My motto is don’t get your puddy and your paycheck in the same place. Is it appropriate to date a co-worker? Depends. If it is a large company and, like Button said, the parties are mature, maybe not inappropriate, but definitely inadvisable. The Boss- Flat out NO!
It is no secret how I feel about workplace daliances. Why put all the time, effort and education into your career to throw it away over a piece of tail?

YesSheIsCute

November 19th, 2013
9:11 am

I work with the sister of a guy I briefly talked to. Every time I see her I just think WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?! I couldn’t imagine if I had to see him everyday.

disco

November 19th, 2013
9:13 am

good morning. I’ll worry about this dilemma when and if I ever work someplace where there is someone worth dating. as it stands there is practically no one in the entire building worth a second glance. we didn’t even hit a lick with our UPS and Fedex assignments. smdh.

2CPTG©

November 19th, 2013
9:16 am

date who you want, where you want, and how you want……all these limitiations are crazy….don’t date at church, don’t date in your own neighborhood, don’t date at work…..hell, where can you date, then? When you’re in someone’s presence for an extended period of time, of course something is going to spawn; it’s only natural…..but these limits and restrictions….nah….

tips: and this is regardless of where your love interest lie…..keep folks out ya business! plain and simple.

Celisea

November 19th, 2013
9:24 am

WTHeck? As long as there are any husbands and wives or SOs involved, why can’t you date someone from the company? Use decorum and class. I mean y’all ain’t dating AT work. Go sit down and do your work…the both of you. After hours is fair game. If you both go in being and acting mature, should you hit splitsville, I would think it would be carried out like any other breakup….acting like you got sense. Both of y’all need to eat and pay bills right? Okay then, yeen crazy.

Now, I’m not saying “screwing around” and playing the company strumpet. If you’re a dude, steer clear of the company slut. If you’re a woman, don’t be falling for that dude making his rounds.

Celisea

November 19th, 2013
9:24 am

…..there “aren’t any husbands and wives……….. is what I meant

disco

November 19th, 2013
9:25 am

2C – I’m prone to agree. I’ve seen too many of the “dating don’ts” work for some folks. one of my friends married her next door neighbor. I know several who married folks they met online. I’ve worked in several places where folks met at work, dated and married. some continued to work in the same place. some opted for one partner to change jobs. I’ve seen folks date the exes of friends and/or relatives and take lots of grief behind it but they went on to marry that ex and are/were relatively happy. life is short and things happen. better try to get your pleasure in while the getting is good.

Celisea

November 19th, 2013
9:25 am

don’t date at church, don’t date in your own neighborhood, don’t date at work…..hell, where can you date, then?

My laugh for the morning…while I sip my coffee :)

Leggs

November 19th, 2013
9:32 am

The main con against dating a co-worker is when the relationship fizzles and you still have to see each other. Depending upon the circumstances of the breakup, i.e, amicable or full of discord, the work environment can become volatile. Even the most mature person can become childish when their heart is smattered to pieces.

Many marriages have occurred from a work relationship. Do what’s best for you and let the chips fall in or out of your favor.

Good morning!

2CPTG©

November 19th, 2013
9:35 am

disco, while I agree for the most part with your statement……the only “unwritten” dating rule is ya homeboy’s baby mama…why, I don’t know, but that’s just how it is…all other gals are fair game…just some’n bout a dude and his babay mama!

and Celie, I will admit, I am so impressed with your progress….now reading you is such a pleasure!

Celisea

November 19th, 2013
9:39 am

2Can – Awwww, boy you gon make me email you (j/k)…..thanks hon :) ALWAYS a pleasure reading you :) Ya lil skits and ya “gals” are all funny to me, never offensive.

disco

November 19th, 2013
9:40 am

good morning leggs. for what it’s worth I dreamed 999 and 1300 last night. I told you I dream numbers all the time. I still feel a slight sting re those 555s. lol.

2C – a lot of folks have “code rules” and if they want to live by them more power to them. me, myself, personally – they don’t phase me. if you love your homeboy’s baby momma, want to marry her and you don’t mind raising your homeboy’s kids then I – on the outside looking in – say have at it. who is your homey? he ain’t trying to do it so later for him.

YesSheIsCute

November 19th, 2013
9:41 am

@2C and @disco I can see what you’re saying. It makes sense.

Button

November 19th, 2013
9:46 am

for some dating at work is the only place to find a suitable mate. You spend countless of hours togethter, closing deals working on assignments, dead lines dead lines dead lines and happy hour, can’t leave that out. There is a bond forming and for some you can’t help but to take that leap and make something out of it. Good bad and ugly can come from any and all avenues when dating.

2CPTG©

November 19th, 2013
9:46 am

disco, I feel ya, dude can be just as absent as he wanna be, but let him hear another dude from the hood hollerin at his baby mama…..then you got to fight that nikka!

2CPTG©

November 19th, 2013
9:48 am

truth be told….why not date from work…..you know he/she has a job…you know when pay day is…you know what the benefit package lookin like……shiiid, you winning!

MsAtl

November 19th, 2013
9:54 am

2C- “you know he/she has a job…you know when pay day is…you know what the benefit package lookin like……shiiid, you winning!”
Lolol, You have a point.

Leggs

November 19th, 2013
9:54 am

disco ~ interesting because I was thinking 9900 this morning. Not a good Cash 4, but I was thinking it. Perhaps combo will work better than straight.

GlammourGirl

November 19th, 2013
9:56 am

I’ve dated coworkers on multiple occasions. One was for 3 years and no one at work ever even knew. When it ended, we still worked together and there was no drama. We were actually on the same team, interacted with each other everyday. It didn’t end on bad terms. Just 2 grown folks who decided we wanted different things, and we parted ways. We talk occasionally now. The second one lasted a year. We work for the same company, in the same building, but in different departments. We still do now. There was no drama with him either. We’re still cool. We talk, instant message, etc.

I just think it depends on the parties involved. I don’t do drama, whether it’s at work or anywhere else. So I definitely wouldn’t trip at work if things turned sour.

disco

November 19th, 2013
9:57 am

leggs – I made my phone calls this morning to all my number people (NY, PA and OH). they are beginning to have a lot more faith in me and my dreams. my aunt in NYC said she was going out to put hers in right after she finished her coffee. lol.

Celisea

November 19th, 2013
10:02 am

Off topic: Uncle Charlie has a new gospel/inspirational song. I really like the song. The radio station had him on, with him saying he’s been wanting to put something out for a long time now regarding faith and believing. It’s nice.

kimmie

November 19th, 2013
10:02 am

‘Sup Gang!

This is one of those “it depends”. On the situation – the maturity of the individuals, the size of the company, whether or not there is any conflict of interest issues with the actual work you guys do, the company policy on it. One of the ladies on my team is married to a man that works for the company. They were actually set up by another coworker! This is a huge company. We all used to work in the same building but on different floors. Two years ago the husband’s department moved to one of our downtown offices. Anyway, they are happy and now have 3 kids together and 2 from his previous marriage, making that 5 kids total. Other companies I’ve worked for had married couples. As long as there is no conflict, like this person is your supervisor or both of you work in the same areas in finance or accounting, it’s all good.

My husband met his first wife at work.

Disco – My husband would have ZERO to worry about when it comes to anyone here at work catching my interest. It’s not even any good eyecandy around!LOL!!!

disco

November 19th, 2013
10:05 am

kimmie – me and some random chicks were in the lobby the other day lamenting the departure of our elevator guys. I think every chick in the building was sweating them dudes. gee-mo-nelli. the other day I mentioned the movie coming out with stallone and deniro. my elevator guy would have fit right in with those guys (just younger – lol). deep sigh…… lol.

kimmie

November 19th, 2013
10:06 am

for some dating at work is the only place to find a suitable mate

Button – That’s true. You do form bonds, especially in certain industries/professions. You understand what the other is going thru. Like a lot of folks in the medical profession get together with others in the business.

Button

November 19th, 2013
10:09 am

Kimmie – lol @ eye candy, none here for sure.

SlimNu

November 19th, 2013
10:12 am

Leggs – Speaking of numbers, the numbers 538 have been heavy on my mind even though I haven’t played them.

kimmie

November 19th, 2013
10:14 am

Disco – There were 2 cute mail guys that used to come thru when we were at the other building. They were a little young for me & I was already seeing hubs, but at least they were something to look at. They would come in and drop some of the office happenings in other areas, and share their own weekend dating shenanigans. They were both finishing up school and got promoted and moved on.

2CPTG©

November 19th, 2013
10:18 am

I will say, that was one good thing about working in a call center…..lawd hammercy…when I first got started in IT, I was in tech support, and you talkin bout eye candy….Jimmy Carter, and Satellite Blvd!!!!

CoolShadow

November 19th, 2013
10:18 am

Regardless of the side you take in dating at work, people will continue to do it. The difference from most other dating enviroments is that the discovery or acknowlegement of an office relationship could potentially threaten or undermine your livelihood. But a lot of factors come into play such as the person of interest’s office behavior and affinity for discretion, company policy, etc. You have to assess the ramifications of such a relationship and the effect it could have on your job or career path. Dating is always easier for a man when he’s employed…

disco

November 19th, 2013
10:25 am

I wish I knew who the blog eye candy was. too bad folks can’t have pics or at least avatars next to their blog name. lol.

Leggs

November 19th, 2013
10:25 am

SlimNu ~ If it’s heavy on your mind, you need to play it.

No eye candy here for us ladies, but lots of eye candy for the men here!

Leggs

November 19th, 2013
10:27 am

disco ~ we are the eye candy :wink:

Reio

November 19th, 2013
10:27 am

I never dated anyone at work. As I recall, those that I would have asked out were already seeing someone, or married. There were the usual sluts around the workplace though. Doing various fellas just for the thrill of it. Can’t confirm it though, cause I either heard it through the grapevine, or from the males involved. Never from the women. I figure date who you want. The boss? Naw.

disco

November 19th, 2013
10:32 am

reio – not the boss? why not? shouldn’t a person “aim high”? lol.

leggs – speaking of female eye candy. this dude showed me a pic of his wife recently. I swear my jaw dropped. I had to give credit where credit is due. I told dude his wife was bad. I even told him to give her a message for me. something about her being my idol and I was trying to be like her when I grew up. lol. he was cheesing the whole time. he know he hit a lick with that one.

2CPTG©

November 19th, 2013
10:32 am

Dating is always easier for a man when he’s employed…

bruh, ye’en neva lied!!!

disco

November 19th, 2013
10:36 am

cool/2C – just last night and this morning I was discussing with two female friends how they always seem to have a pair and a spare when it comes to dudes. they both claimed that my problem was that I was too picky. I countered with the real issue being that those heffas are broke and almost every dude is a come up. lol.

Leggs

November 19th, 2013
10:37 am

disco ~ there’s a guy here that isn’t quite pleasing on the eye. Very nice fella, but “aesthetically challenged.” I knew he was married and walking by his desk one day I stopped and looked at the pics on his desk. His wife is GORGEOUS. I silently gave him props!

Leggs

November 19th, 2013
10:38 am

“I countered with the real issue being that those heffas are broke and almost every dude is a come up.”

Now, if that doesn’t shut one up, I don’t know what will.

MsAtl

November 19th, 2013
10:43 am

Lol @ “aesthetically challenged” That’s a nice way of putting it Leggs.
While I have never dated at work, I have been questioned by management before. I worked in a Department store and was questioned whether I was having an affair with the security guard because he was always at my register. I fessed up and informed her that the security guard had a sweet tooth and knew that I kept sour patch kids behind my register and he would stop by for a handful, lol. The look on her face :shock:

Reio

November 19th, 2013
10:43 am

I think I mentioned this here before, but during the holidays last year, we were operating with a skeleton crew. People tend to go on vacation a lot during this time. I’m starting to see it around here already. Anyway, last year during this time I came to work a little earlier than usual. Put my stuff down and headed to the bathroom to wash my hands. Bought an egg McMuffin and sh!t on my way in. Went there to wash my hands before I started chowing down. But, as I was headed there, I passed the break room and saw two coworkers at the sink. A male and a female. Their backs were towards me. They didn’t see me.
As I passed the break room I saw his hand caressing her azz. Big azz. Massive azz. Jan(her name) got a big-ole-butt!! He had mentioned that he was doing her and a couple of other women here, but I thought he was just makin sh!t up. What I saw confirmed it.
And it’s kinda funny. Jan was the one(he mentioned three) I thought, would be the least likely to have anything to do with him. Which leads me to believe he’s doing the other two as well. Cause Jan’s married, the other two are not. All four still work here. Jan got a big azz though.
Almost a big as Aunt Bee’s azz on the Andy Griffith Show. Fo sho!!

2CPTG©

November 19th, 2013
10:44 am

disco/Leggs…..how does that make you ladies feel when you see an ugly guy (in your eyes), with a drop dead gorgeous wife? Do you think more power to her, or be like……wonder what she see in him?

Button

November 19th, 2013
10:47 am

there was this one eye candy that made working a pleasure. He was supa dupa fine and smart too. Very well mannered, polite. I really enjoyed working on projects with him, somehow he made my brain cells work a little better lol ~sigh~ I came up with all kinds of creative ideas and such just to get him to come over and say something nice about it. smh lol

2CPTG©

November 19th, 2013
10:48 am

Reio…..so Jan got a big ole butt……out of all that you wrote, you kept illustrating Jan’s butt…..too funny…

Reio

November 19th, 2013
10:52 am

2CPTG© – Well it’s not just big but perfectly round. And she wears tight pants all the time. Big hips too. Nice lady. Competent and reliable. Damn adulteress. That’s why I don’t feel bad about saying what I posted about her. Hell, divorce your husband, then screw around. Of the fou,r she is the only one married. Hell.