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Dating: When cultures collide

I think one of the best parts of dating is when you get to meet someone new who can expose you to new experiences. Whether they hip you to a new language, different foods, or even music, our lives can actually become richer from some of our dating misadventures!

While having things in common can be good, dating someone from a totally different background, culture, or race can be enlightening! One of my friends is dating a guy from India. She is from Atlanta and has never been out of the country. Since she has dated him, she says that outlook on the world has really changed.

Of course, dating someone from a different culture can have its challenges. Sometimes customs, traditions, and values differ so much, it becomes hard to manage a relationship that has to merge all these things.

Have you ever dated someone who is from a different cultural background? Do you think it made things more interesting?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

225 comments Add your comment

Leggs

November 15th, 2013
10:51 am

Button ~ I have always been into red shoes. I remember standing in front of The Equitable Bldg downtown with red pumps and red sheer stockings. I have no idea what outfit I was wearing to have that on, but standing there waiting for the light to change I started to feel like a prostitute. I walked up the block to Davidson’s (changed name to Macy’s) and bought some off black stockings. Never wore red sheer stockings again.

kimmie

November 15th, 2013
10:53 am

Moni – Yes, there is a one Clinique makes that’s always looked good on me, Earth Red I think it is. MAC has one that is mixed with bronze called Fresh Morrocan that works too. I can’t do a tomato red, it’s gotta be toned down a bit.

Leggs

November 15th, 2013
10:53 am

No doubt the whistles and horn honks fueled my discomfort.

Button

November 15th, 2013
10:54 am

Miss Moni/Kimmie – I value my older folks way of thinking. A lot of times they are on point. I could never get a real reason behind wearing red other than it’s a whorish color, then I think of the movie the devil in a blue dress or the devil wears prada lol….they must know something since it’s being said practically everywhere by older women and men.

YesSheIsCute

November 15th, 2013
10:54 am

@Miss Moni well I always feel some type of way if a guy says he prefers not to date black women. I remember perousing through profiles on POF when I first broke up and a lot of the white guys would have disclaimers that said I’m not into black women so please stop writing me. It was like damn what’s so wrong with us?

Miss Moni

November 15th, 2013
10:59 am

-Kimmie Now I’m going to go the MAC counter this weekend and check out that Fresh Morrocan! Yeah, I do wear tomato red on my face either. As far as clothes that’s a different story, LOL!

-Button I’m quite daring and refuse to be put into a box, even if it is by my elders. Some of them mean well but actually have absolutely no factual reason as to why they say & do certain things.

kimmie

November 15th, 2013
11:01 am

I got a cute red trench coat last year, really chic. There’s no way I could be a DAWG and not have any red somewhere in my wardrobe.

Leggs – Your 10:51 reminds me when I worked downtown, not far from that Equitable building. I had on this dress with a nautical(sailorlike) collar, but instead of navy it was red with white trim on the collar. Cute, kind of a wrap dress that was straight and sleeveless. I had a sweater I would throw over my arms in the office, because that was back when sleeveless was frowned upon and I worked for a bank. I had on nude heels. I stepped out at lunch and you would have thought I had walked out in a bikini. Men were freaking out. I asked my buddy with me what was all the uproar and she said it must have been because it was RED!!

Miss Moni

November 15th, 2013
11:01 am

-YesSheIsCute I look at it this way, a man and any other person, has the right to prefer whatever they like so I don’t get upset. To be totally honest, we all have our own preferences when it comes to dating.

disco

November 15th, 2013
11:02 am

I don’t do red anything. no particular reason. no red clothes, shoes, accessories and no red lipstick.

moni – i ordinarily wouldn’t do opening weekend for a movie like this either. I had already invited a guy to go but was hoping that book thief or dallas buyers club would have come out this weekend. they didn’t so best man it is.

Miss Moni

November 15th, 2013
11:06 am

-Disco Ooooo, so is this just a guy to go to the movies with OR are you actually romantically interested in him?

kimmie

November 15th, 2013
11:07 am

Button – I value, respect and still follow alot of what my elders said and taught me. I was not taught that about red though. I do know some can look less than respectable and not have even a hint of red on.

disco

November 15th, 2013
11:08 am

moni – no interest. I figure him as an “expedition date”. he might know someone that I’m interested in. I offered to plug a friend and she went left. dude even called last night to confirm. my friend might be missing out. oh well….

Mrs. SexyCool

November 15th, 2013
11:09 am

Red is one of my favorite colors, but I don’t wear red lipstick. I just don’t like how it looks on me.

Leggs

November 15th, 2013
11:11 am

To me, red is very sexy. Much like you guys are talking about your elders steering you away from red, I was told never to wear red to church because it was the color harlots wore. Well, the harlot in me embraces red now (lol). Seriously, we all have a little harlot in us…I hope.

Miss Moni

November 15th, 2013
11:12 am

-Button/Kimmie/Disco
Here are some other things that I DON’T traditionally do:
1) Wear black to funerals
2) Only listen to Christmas music during Christmas
3) Eat breakfast only in the morning

Leggs

November 15th, 2013
11:12 am

disco ~ as you see I love red.

disco

November 15th, 2013
11:12 am

moni – I spoke with another guy friend yesterday who is hosting a ski weekend in January. talking about he’s got half a dozen guys lined up and asking if I know any interested females. you know me (lol) I had to get stats on all the fellas. don’t know why. I don’t think I can make it anyway. whether or not I put someone else on depends on my mood. like I said some days back, I’m not all the way past blocking.

leggs – I have a lot of harlot in me. she just doesn’t wear red. lol.

daddy swiss

November 15th, 2013
11:13 am

Morning, folks.

“Have you ever dated someone who is from a different cultural background?”

Yep. More often than not, actually.

“Do you think it made things more interesting?”

I suppose so. For me it’s just always been a personal preference. I think it’s probably a function of growing up in a backwoods, po-dunk hick town. I wanted nothing to do with all those redneck motherf__kers I grew up around, so I always went for the exchange students (thankfully, there was 1 family in town that always hosted exchange students every year, otherwise, I’d have had no social life at all in HS). I guess that just carried over into adulthood. lol

DuShawn

November 15th, 2013
11:13 am

Spending time in Miami, I have dated several women from different cultures. Two in particular come to mind, Yanick who was from Haiti and Paula from Guyana. Both had beautiful, dark skin with impressive hips, thighs and azz. A potnah of mine was dating Yanick’s older sister (she was gorgeous as well) and they introduced us. She was more subservient than the women I was accustomed to. We dated for a while, but it ended unceremoniously. Now, Paula was my girl. She had not been in the states very long, but had a nice whip and a raw crib. I eventually found out she was bringing in pounds on cruise ships. She was more scared of the INS than the police. They were in the country illegally and would always be fearful of that knock at the door from immigration. I mean serious fear. If her sister was late coming home, she would panic and think the worst. That’s a fear I had never experienced or even thought of. I used to really put it on Paula. I can remember her saying repeatedly in that heavy Jamaican sounding accent “You f*&K like a Champion!!” Then one day I was taking a shower at her crib. She comes in the bathroom and starts taking a dump, like right in front of me. I remember her saying “I bet you think I’m a bush woman”. I’m like naw baby, but dayum…..it’s kinda awkward. We kicked it for a while until she started that, where is our relationship going, wanting to be exclusive bullshid. I wasn’t ready and we eventually and respectfully went our separate ways.

Miss Moni

November 15th, 2013
11:14 am

-Disco “Expedition date”, new term for me, but I like it!

-Mrs. SexyCool Although red isn’t my FAV color, I do look good in it! Anytime I wear red clothing I always get compliments. I embraced the red, LOL!!! My vehicle is even red, something about a red vehicle. . .

kimmie

November 15th, 2013
11:15 am

Moni – I’m not gonna be boxed in either, by anyone or anything. Like I can’t stand it when I say I like a certain song, food, etc and somebody make a comment as if I’m not “supposed” to like it because “black folks don’t like that music, food,etc”! Says Who? Now that’s what I call close-minded!

Button

November 15th, 2013
11:18 am

Leggs – I don’t know about red but animal prints makes me feel rahter prowlish lol

kimmie

November 15th, 2013
11:22 am

Moni -

1) – I wore white to my brother & father’s funerals. The only reason I wore black to my moms is because it was a fly black wrap Evan Pecone she had bought for me a few years before. Other than that, I wear what I might wear to church, which could be any color. Nobody has ever accused me of looking inappropriate or disrespectful.
2) – Some Christmas music can be sad. It’s a songs that I like, otherwise I listen to my normal repretoire.
3) – We often have breakfast dinner. The kids love it, and so do I!

disco

November 15th, 2013
11:23 am

button – I absolutely abhor animal prints. lol. sometimes it looks like a freaking safari up in this camp. the chicks on my job love love love animal prints. I have a couple of friends who are big on animal print. it does absolutely nothing for me at all.

2CPTG©

November 15th, 2013
11:24 am

damn, Du…..takin a dump in front of me would have threw me off….

disco

November 15th, 2013
11:25 am

moni – re the expedition date. it’s all networking. we’re coming up on the holiday season, I’m trying to be invited to parties, not be called on to host them. I’m bout sick of that ploy. raggedy azz no count friends of mine always want me to host. lol.

Button

November 15th, 2013
11:25 am

disco – say it aint so! what’s in your wardrobe?

kimmie

November 15th, 2013
11:29 am

Not big on animal prints, but I do touches of it here and there. I have a nice leopard print scarf I rock with beige or black sometimes, and a cute pair of leopard Keds.

MsAtl

November 15th, 2013
11:29 am

Moni- I feel you about opening weekend. It is annoying when folks are talking on phones or texting and you can see their screens lighting up. There are certain movies I will brave the opening crowds to see and the rest is either after a few weeks or RedBox.

Re: Red- I didn’t generally wear red except maybe a red sweater at Christmas. However, a couple of years ago, I bought 3 dresses for a formal event I had coming up. The first two were “oh, that’s nice” but the third, which was a floor length red gown with a scarf was “wow!” Needless to say, the other dresses went back! I got so many compliments on that red dress and still do whenever anyone sees the pictures.

YSIC- There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with us; that is his preference (or ignorance maybe).

kimmie

November 15th, 2013
11:30 am

I love black & white, but can’t do zebra for some reason!LOL!!

Reio

November 15th, 2013
11:31 am

“damn, Du…..takin a dump in front of me would have threw me off…”

Haha… Believe it or not, my wife will slip up and do this, every now and then as well..
She never does it when there is someone in there, cause we have 3 1/2 baths, but she will go in there and leave the door open sometimes, just to upset me. Stankin heffa.

Button

November 15th, 2013
11:32 am

2C – why? it’s a natural excretion. we all do it. I remember the first time…tmi LOL

Reio

November 15th, 2013
11:33 am

“YSIC- There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with us; that is his preference (or ignorance maybe).”

Truer words have NEVER been spoken.

disco

November 15th, 2013
11:33 am

button – I do mostly solid colors (not red – lol). I do look good in orange and green and yellow so throw those in where I can. I very seldom wear prints. if I do it’s a really subtle print. I don’t even do a lot of signature purses. I will mix up fabrics and textures. denim, leather, corduroy, wool. I will mix colors (just won’t have them all on one garment – lol). I like interesting tees (I just ordered “high heels, big hair”). I’m big on my earrings and bracelets and shoes and making sure that my clothes pimp my assets. lol.

Leggs

November 15th, 2013
11:34 am

kimmie ~ I remember when I first heard Michael Franks music. I had one black gf who said I was only listening to that music to make myself appear smarter. I told her perhaps I should make myself appear smarter by not hanging with her anymore. She didn’t like that response. Dumbcluck…

Button ~ I have a friend who loves, loves, loves animal prints. Her rugs, pillows, bags, jackets, you name it, she has it in animal print. Even her blow dryer is leopard print.

Leggs

November 15th, 2013
11:37 am

Button ~ it’s natural to go, but unnatural to go while someone else is in the bathroom with you taking a shower esp if there are other bathrooms in the house you can use.

Mrs. SexyCool

November 15th, 2013
11:37 am

I don’t wander into the restroom when M is on the toilet and he gives me my privacy as well. There is a reason that we have more than one bathroom. #SomeIshAintSexy

kimmie

November 15th, 2013
11:38 am

Disco – Orange is my absolute favorite color to wear! From bright to cinnamon/burnt orange to peach. Whenever I wear it, I always get compliments. Wore a cute orange top with bell sleeves just yesterday with my khakis!

disco

November 15th, 2013
11:39 am

leggs –I have two of those friends. one moved to a new apartment and as I was looking for her place I reached for my phone to have her come meet me when I spotted a leopard welcome mat and figured I had reached my destination.

Leggs

November 15th, 2013
11:40 am

disco ~ that same friend who felt I wasn’t really into MFranks, told me my waldrobe consisted too much of fall colors. Heck, you should see it now, prints and more prints, solids and bright colors. I purchased this leopard spagettie trapped blouse from Macy’s about 7 yrs ago. I’ve yet to wear the darn thing. I don’t like it anymore.

kimmie

November 15th, 2013
11:40 am

SCool – Amen to your 11:37. I don’t want to smell/see yours or you doing it & I don’t you don’t care to smell/see mine!

DuShawn

November 15th, 2013
11:41 am

2C – To be honest bruh, I never quite looked at her the same after that. I mean, we were just dating. I wasn’t even her man yet. She should have still been on her best behavior; you know trying to get me. She got too comfortable way too soon.

disco

November 15th, 2013
11:41 am

kimmie – I have an orange sweater dress I bought a couple of years ago that I still have not worn. (I also have a black bcbg turtle neck dress that I haven’t worn but that’s a whole nother “what’s wrong with disco”). initially it was because I was hoping to find some gray leather boots to wear with it but then it became because I didn’t really have anywhere to wear it to (you know how you want to be seen in your clothes – lol).

DuShawn

November 15th, 2013
11:43 am

Our Cultures definitely collided at that moment

Button

November 15th, 2013
11:45 am

Leggs- but what if there isn’t? whatcha gon do?

how about pissing? is that unsexy?

Leggs

November 15th, 2013
11:45 am

For sure, DuShawn! That’s not cool.

Button

November 15th, 2013
11:46 am

disco – you have a cool wardrobe. I like to have my closet changed out. I need to do a closet make over.

Miss Moni

November 15th, 2013
11:46 am

-Disco I’m LOL at your 11:25!!!

-Kimmie That is so me with the black & white, but of course I add a splash of red (love that color combo) and I can honestly say I have NO zebra print, LOL!!!

-MsAtl In reference to opening weekend, you definitely have to time it just right. Some movies I just wait for them to come to Pay-Per-View and just watch it then.

kimmie

November 15th, 2013
11:51 am

She got too comfortable way too soon.

Now THAT’S one of those things my mama and elders taught me that I took heed to. In fact, my mom said don’t ever get too comfortable, even if you’re married. Just not ladylike, she said, maintain some respect and a little mystery.

Leggs

November 15th, 2013
11:51 am

Button ~ if there isn’t another bathroom, I would do my best and wait. Taking a quick #1 can be overlooked. Showers don’t take that long so I would try and wait. If I’m having a stomach ache and have to go, I will but I won’t do it just because I have to use the facility. You’re in their first so I will wait my turn.