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Guilty of one month stands?

So I have heard about one night stands before, but apparently one month stands are all the rage now. Do you know what a one month stand is? Basically, it happens when one person wants to hook up but won’t come out and say that. Instead, they go through the motions of starting a new relationship and after about 30 days, they cut ties and move on.

One of my guy friends is guilty of this dating habit and I finally called him out on this pattern he has. He claims that he has good intentions but “these mini-relationships” fizzle out fast, not too long after the orgasm, I imagine. It makes me wonder if there is any real interest in starting something new or do we just convince ourselves that it is something real.

Have you ever been guilty of having one month stands? Have you had a period of time where you have started something up with someone but it keeps fading quickly and you are on to the next?

Why do you think we lose interest so fast? Is it because we prefer the short-term mini-relationships?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

304 comments Add your comment

Raqi

November 14th, 2013
2:40 pm

I can’t continue Leggs. The person in charge will not allow the others thru. LOL I guess her inbox filled up quickly.

YesSheIsCute

November 14th, 2013
2:42 pm

Honestly, as far as the “rock” situation goes it really just depends on the person. For the most part, I would feel like most guys are running game because most guys are jerks. Then there are a select small minority of emotionally volatile romantic guys out there that would have truly meant what they said about the rock and truly loved (at least in their mental mind they think they love) this woman. You have to know what you’re working with.

Raqi

November 14th, 2013
2:45 pm

Kimmie, guess what I am going to attempt to make for dinner tonight? Beef wellington. My bestie makes a great dish but this is my first time trying it.

disco

November 14th, 2013
2:45 pm

yes – maybe I’d accept a rock from a geology nerd right after we went spelunking. lol.

MsAtl

November 14th, 2013
2:46 pm

Disco- 20 is legal, lol. Although I have to say, the 20 year old that hit on me this summer was told to go sit down.

Leggs

November 14th, 2013
2:47 pm

Can I answer, can I answer…nevamind.

kimmie

November 14th, 2013
2:48 pm

Disco – Martin is up there with my alltime favorite shows. I knew my hubs was paying attention wheh early in our 1st year of dating, he had his daughter to greet me with a giftbag one day when I came over. In it was the box dvd set of the entire run of Martin. I realized then he was a keeper!LOL!!

Raqi

November 14th, 2013
2:49 pm

Yall want a “rock” has a gift? Have a kid or two. You will get a paint rock. A bunch of dandelions. A wired half dried mud ball.

You have to acknowledge it as A Paper Weight. A Bouquet of Flowers. An Wall Ornament.

disco

November 14th, 2013
2:50 pm

atl – it’s legal and he was fine but there’s just something so wrong with it. mm mmm mmmm. he had the close cut hair, the mini beard/goatee thing (that I feel like Puerto Ricans can rock like no other) and a dimple. ha’mercy. some little young girl probably somewhere smiling right now. lol.

atl – i think of me with a 20 year old and i think of me having to fight that child’s momma. lol.

DuShawn

November 14th, 2013
2:50 pm

“romantic guys out there that would have truly meant what they said about the rock ………”Cutie, reads like you would’ve been receptive to the symbolic gesture. Imma try that with wifey on our upcoming anniversary. I will let the blog know how well that goes over…..If I could still use my fingers

Raqi

November 14th, 2013
2:50 pm

What the answer Leggs?

In fact what’s the question?

disco

November 14th, 2013
2:52 pm

raqi – speaking of dandelions. remember back in the day when you would go “momma had a baby and the head popped off” and then you’d pop off the top of the flower. well, my friends 6 year old gifted her a bunch of them and without thinking she started popping the heads off. the 6 year old immediately bust into tears. lol. I laughed when she told me but calmed down enough to call her an ungrateful wench. lol.

kimmie – I have all the martin stand up dvds. my son has the entire sitcom series.

Raqi

November 14th, 2013
2:54 pm

DuShawn,, give your wife the sun framed by the biggest window in your house and tell her that is how bright and hot your love burns for her. When she is angry at you just take her to that window and point. Don’t say a word just point at the sun. LOL

There will be nothing sentimental about it really but it will make her crack up and stop being angry with you.

Raqi

November 14th, 2013
2:55 pm

Disco, I am LMBO. That is hilarious.

disco

November 14th, 2013
2:57 pm

raqi – I thought so too. he was so proud of himself and his gift of flowers and she destroyed them right in his face. kids are funny. another friend has a 3 year old who has the nerve to get upset and tell his mother to go to her room. lol. he hasn’t quite figured out that that’s his punishment, not hers.

Raqi

November 14th, 2013
3:05 pm

LOL Disco. You have got to love them.

One of the biggest difference I am seeing in raising boys versus girls is between the hub and I, we get about 3 cards or pictures a week from the little lady.

She makes us a card or draws us a picture just because it’s Thursday. LOL I used to throw them away until she started wanting to see that card she gave the week before.

MsAtl

November 14th, 2013
3:06 pm

Disco- The thought of me with a 20 year old brings images of me telling him and my 19 year old to get off the video games and clean up, lol.

kimmie

November 14th, 2013
3:09 pm

Gas up the Pacer!

disco

November 14th, 2013
3:09 pm

atl – ditto but I repeat… this little youngster was fine. gone make me go to subway everyday. he’s my new favorite sandwich artist. lol.

disco

November 14th, 2013
3:12 pm

kimmie – make up talk. I want a dark lipstick. any suggestions? dark as in deep brown. no reds or plums or anything.

YesSheIsCute

November 14th, 2013
3:12 pm

@Disco I haven’t tried Puerto Rican yet…. but I wouldn’t mind. I still would have talked to that guy you saw as long as he were legal.

That reminds me of that PR guy that worked for Delta. Why oh why did he have to have a temper tantrum when things didn’t go his way? I just don’t get it.

disco

November 14th, 2013
3:15 pm

yes – no ma’am. I’ll call a little hottie cute but I don’t want nothing no little kid has to offer. 20 (or so may be grown) but I ain’t got time for that. I’d be that chick asking him what’s up with his daddy, his uncle, hell, his granddaddy. lol.

Button

November 14th, 2013
3:19 pm

some men get it, they just want to make us happy. A good man want to make/keep his woman happy. My guy said to me the other night “I just want to make you happy” I replied, you make me happy (smile). Now I could’ve said ” dude I was happy before I met you or I’m a happy person” or something along that line but I didn’t. He said he’ll do anything for me to keep me happy, happy to be with him. “sigh”

kimmie

November 14th, 2013
3:19 pm

Disco – MAC makes one, a deep brown. They must have had some overstock of it, because they gave it to me free awhile back earlier in the year. It did not work for me, for some reason. I can do dark, but it has to have some red or wine in it. Anyway, I ended up tossing it so I forgot what it was called. The dark lip is very in this fall/winter too. I did get a nice deep reddish brown from them that looks great, forgot what it is called. I will let you know tomorrow after I check it out tonite.

Leggs

November 14th, 2013
3:22 pm

disco ~ back in the day “Get Down Brown” was the to go to lipstick…rich and dark. Perhaps they still make it (lol). If I remember correctly, kimmie used to wear it too????

Leggs

November 14th, 2013
3:23 pm

Maybe it wasn’t her.

DuShawn

November 14th, 2013
3:23 pm

“give your wife the sun framed by the biggest window in your house and tell her that is how bright and hot your love burns for her. When she is angry at you just take her to that window and point….” Raqi – Shiiiid.. I B Dayum. Unlike the marriage you often describe (with animated Disney humming birds and butterflies, sugar and spice and everything nice). Me and wifey are different. After three babies and almost 20 years of putting up with my shid, she expects and deserves all her gifts to have number and letter combinations ( VS1, VVS2, E350, 535I, 750IL ). Trust, she would fail to see the humor in the Sun in the Window frame. You trying to get my forehead split to the white meat.

YesSheIsCute

November 14th, 2013
3:24 pm

@Du it really depends on the guy (his personality and idiosyncracies), and what type of rock it was (it can’t just be some pebble from off the street and it really depends on the texture, color, size, the type of finish it had, etc). Any old guy can’t just try some lame attempt at that and get away with it.

2CPTG©

November 14th, 2013
3:25 pm

any of y’all belong to any Fraternal orders? Greeks?

disco

November 14th, 2013
3:27 pm

leggs – get down brown? I like the sound of that. who makes it? my next mac trip I’m grabbing a viva glam and whatever brown I commit to. I eventually need a new blush color too but baby steps (besides y’all know that stuff costs too much – lol).

D – I didn’t want to be presumptuous and post something like that but it is definitely what I was thinking re raqi’s sunshine post. lol.

kimmie

November 14th, 2013
3:28 pm

Leggs – It wasn’t me. Browns just don’t work well on my lips. Gotta have at least some gold or bronze or a red mixed in it.

Disco – The darker MAC lipstick I got for fall is the Mineralized Rich lipstick line in All Out Gorgeous.

YesSheIsCute

November 14th, 2013
3:28 pm

@disco I’m sold on MAC too since I discovered Ruby Woo :D Iman also has some nice browns. A little pricier but hey it’s cosmetics.

Raqi

November 14th, 2013
3:28 pm

And DuShawn I see that totally went over your head. Didn’t realize you wouldn’t comprehend the joke.

Button

November 14th, 2013
3:29 pm

Kimmie – I love the dark plum llipstick. It’s does something to me when I wear it.

What’s this winter fashion? I don’t know, I”m cluless.

Raqi

November 14th, 2013
3:31 pm

I will stay on the bright side of the lane from now on.

Leggs, that’s what I am talking about. One track minded to where too dim to get the LOL in a ungiveable gift. Yeah I know ungiveable is not a word.

Miss the whole she will crack up at pointing at the sun.

disco

November 14th, 2013
3:33 pm

kimmie – thanks. I’ll check it out.

button – I haven’t been shopping (well I haven’t been buying) lately. I walked away from a pair of black wedge peep toes yesterday and I’ve been thinking about them all day. I do believes (yes believes) I am going back for them. I also just ordered two pair of earrings from natural girls rock.

kimmie

November 14th, 2013
3:33 pm

Button – Plum looks great on me too!

I know riding boots are supposed to be very big this winter. Skinny cords, like the skinny jeans. I have a nice coat I got last winter, black & winter white houndstooth that I am definitely going to rock. I add a red scarf for a pop of color.

Raqi

November 14th, 2013
3:37 pm

If I had said get her to have threesome or something vile like that he would have got it at first read.

Leggs

November 14th, 2013
3:37 pm

disco ~ I just googled it. I think it was Posner who sold it back in the day. I have no idea how to get the exact name now.

Raqi/Dushawn ~ I thought the sunlight framed by the window as cute and laughable. Cut the tension when things get rough but can also have you pouncing out the room like a child who’s lollipop was snatched away. It’s all on the person. Pick your battles. Sometimes, something like that is all that’s needed to calm things down.

2CPTG©

November 14th, 2013
3:37 pm

get out ya feelings, gal…..

and come cuddle on the dark side wit me….we can be heathens, and not give a damn….(you know, in your imaginations)

Button

November 14th, 2013
3:40 pm

disco – go get em! I can’t rock to peep toes too often, only if I’m going be sitting for the better part of the day, for some reason they hurt my big toe.

Kimmie- I’ve been seeing the riding boots, last winter too matter fact. I might get me a pair, still deciding.

disco

November 14th, 2013
3:41 pm

leggs – first I haven’t heard posner in forever ever. they still around? second, re picking battles. man, if I’m already upset about something and some joker talking to me about the sun out the window things are about to go even more left real quick. ooh-wee.

DuShawn

November 14th, 2013
3:41 pm

Raqi – I got it the first time. My response was equally light hearted. This forum does not afford the luxury of facial expression or vocal inflection. Consequently, the intended tone of some comments are lost…….I’m not dim.

DuShawn

November 14th, 2013
3:43 pm

Fraternal orders? Greeks? Im da bruz.

Leggs

November 14th, 2013
3:43 pm

Yes, riding boots were big last year and I see they’re big this season too.

Button ~ I’m with you on those peep toes. I wear them sometime, but they look weird to me (on my feet).

Raqi

November 14th, 2013
3:43 pm

Leggs, I was not even meant to be taken serious. But yeah.

(I don’t think it’s smart to blog after having cross words with your cable company. LOL)

Raqi

November 14th, 2013
3:45 pm

2Can, I am not in my feeling like you think. LOL I just…you know.

disco

November 14th, 2013
3:45 pm

leggs – peeps? I love them. what I hate is the so-called classic pump. I think it’s just too plain and boring. it needs some hooks, straps, buttons, something. lol.

Button

November 14th, 2013
3:45 pm

disco – believe it or not, but I hate hate hate shopping! I battle back and forth with is it a need or a want.

Button

November 14th, 2013
3:47 pm

Kimmie – I’m digging the remnants from my plum lipstick tube with a toothpick to polish my lips lol