accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Intimidated by their ex?

A reader wrote in asking for advice from everyone at Misadventures in Atlanta blog. “Holly” is 26 and has been dating Dylan for several months. She found some old pictures of Dylan’s last few girlfriends and she said they all looked like “Victoria Secret Angels”, which instantly made her feel insecure. She thinks she is “in his league” but admits that seeing his former girlfriends puts some kind of pressure on her all of a sudden.

Holly wants to know how do you handle dating someone who’s last girlfriend/boyfriend was wealthier, more beautiful, or simply more “awesome” compared to you? Dealing with insecurities in life is tough enough, what happens when it impacts your dating life too?

Have you ever dated someone who compares you to their ex? Do you think we consciously or subconsciously compare our current loves to our past loves? Is that normal?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

174 comments Add your comment

Willie Dynamite

November 8th, 2013
12:56 pm

Oh my bad, sponsors.

Leggs

November 8th, 2013
1:02 pm

disco ~ I get it. You have male friends who you can call and say you want to go here, there, see this or that. They understand and if they’re free and have the funds they will take you. Some are mere friends wanting nothing, others are hoping that this might be the night you give in, they’re spending their dime on you by their own volition. No matter what, it’s on them to agree to take you out. All you can do is ask. You’re not pimping them, they’re pimping themselves wishing and a hoping.

YSIC ~ it ain’t tricking if they know the deal and go along with it.

Willie Dynamite

November 8th, 2013
1:14 pm

At least with tricking you know how the night gon end. Sponsors just pay for public appearances hahaha

Leggs

November 8th, 2013
1:17 pm

“At least with tricking you know how the night gon end” – Most times, if you’re not robbed at the end. :wink:

Durty Burd

November 8th, 2013
1:28 pm

Good Afternoon!

Um Holly don’t take this wrong, but why are you snooping around Dylan house?..(She found some old pictures of Dylan’s last few girlfriends). That reeks of low self esteem. Hopefully Dylan will not hold that against you and will proceed with the relationship. Like many have stated be comfortable in your own skin and enjoy the ride.

Disco are you interested in a relationship or are you just talking about stuff?
Disco you have create some interest on the blog, but you are not interested in trying something new. Why is that?

Lucky Leggs how are you feeling today?

Leggs

November 8th, 2013
1:34 pm

Durty ~ if I can get rid of this cough, I’d be 100%. Thanks for asking.

Willie Dynamite

November 8th, 2013
1:43 pm

O/T- I’m so ready for thanksgiving/Xmas. Thanks to one my FB friends talking bout fried turkeys I think I’ll do a practice run on dropping a turkey this weekend. Dekalb farmers mkt here I come.

DuShawn

November 8th, 2013
1:44 pm

I remember Wifey introduced me to her EX. I was not intimidated, but I must admit, my man was a fly dude. Nice home, Jag, new caddie, truck on 24’s, owned a car wash, beauty supply store, couple of barbershops and several crack houses. They were childhood sweethearts, the first one she had sex with. I spent a small amount of time in his company over the years and I would always think to myself “dayum this muffugga done f*^&k my baby……several times.” The brother was cool and always showed me respect. He even sent a few licks my way that paid well. He got murdered a few years back. We flew home for his funeral. Wifey attended………..I didn’t.

DuShawn

November 8th, 2013
2:05 pm

Dayum it’s beautiful outside…..its Friday and I can’t take it anymore. I must try to escape this corporate-plantation. I don’t care if they cut my foot off. Kunta gotta run…..

2CPTG©

November 8th, 2013
2:07 pm

Cutie, “trickin” is simply splurging……..whether it’s on a chic, shoes, drinks, entertainment, etc…..

Exiled

November 8th, 2013
2:10 pm

disco

November 8th, 2013
2:10 pm

leggs – thanks for getting it.

durty – it’s funny you brought up something new. I had a “me” party yesterday and decided just last night that I was going to try something new. now I wasn’t real clear on what that new was. driving in to work I was reciting the affirmation “I’m going to try something new”. lo and behold I got a phone call at lunch about something new. now I’ve got some pondering to do.

2CPTG©

November 8th, 2013
2:12 pm

Although them dudes won’t admit it, I can sense the intimidation when I meet/see my Ex-wife’s new dude….
and my kids, with their spoiled asses, wouldn’t help matters, cause they’d always come back with some new geaar, or let it be known all the fun we had……so many times I wanted to confirm his thoughts and say, yeah dude, I’m still hittin it, but you go ‘head on and keep playin house;

Exiled

November 8th, 2013
2:14 pm

I am not jealous(I think) but my girl cannot talk bout her ex with me.

I don’t care bout it..and I ain’t gon share with her bout my exes as well.

Simple.

Exiled

November 8th, 2013
2:26 pm

2C..whatchu think bout that NFL Martin situation?

YesSheIsCute

November 8th, 2013
2:31 pm

Leggs thanks for that clarification when you say if <strongknow the deal and go along with it. We referring to the man who is spending money? Or the woman who is trying to get his money?

2CPTG©

November 8th, 2013
2:35 pm

2C..whatchu think bout that NFL Martin situation?,/i>

That Martin is a chump!!!! Plain and simple…….how you gon’ be a 300+ NFL lineman, and talkin bout another man bullying you??? GTFOH!!! whup his ass if you feel he’s threateninng you! Now he’s lost all respect around the league, cause 1, he’s a snitch, and 2, he’s a chump, and can be pushed around….the NFL ain’t the place for wimps!

Leggs

November 8th, 2013
2:36 pm

Applies to the man. If she’s trying to get it and gets it, he’s giving it up w/o a gun in his face.

YesSheIsCute

November 8th, 2013
2:37 pm

@2C and Leggs I just looked it up on urban dictionary.com. a shame I have to use that thing so often :lol:

Exiled

November 8th, 2013
2:37 pm

YSIC …if a man spends money on u are u gon give it up because of his generosity?

2CPTG©

November 8th, 2013
2:38 pm

lo and behold I got a phone call at lunch about something new. now I’ve got some pondering to do.

thought you was gon’ keep it to yaself, til after we met……what, I got you feelin some kinda way?

Celisea

November 8th, 2013
2:39 pm

YSIC – I noticed you used “knee-grow” the other day. You cool using such a term, being nonethnic? I’m just wondering cause most nonblacks won’t toss that term around so loosely. No biggie, but it caught my eye when you used.

Celisea

November 8th, 2013
2:41 pm

I went out at lunch. It’s beautiful outside. Made me wanna go home :)

Exiled

November 8th, 2013
2:43 pm

2C..yeah I agree..seems like his survival skills are lacking.

…but I guess we gon hear more since he has gone public with his complaint.

But the Incognito dude is trouble also.

His rap sheet is long..

Exiled

November 8th, 2013
2:44 pm

Celisea..what do u mean by ‘nonethnic’?

Is Negro deragatory?

Cutie..is not white

Celisea

November 8th, 2013
2:47 pm

MMeello – I don’t think I said it was derogatory. I just referred back to a term and asked a question. Again no biggie, so don’t make it one.

Exiled

November 8th, 2013
2:57 pm

Celisea..no,Im not making it an issue and not suggesting that u are.

I was trying understand the premise of ur reasoning.

That is..Cutie is non black thus she can’t say Negro…

….and was wondering (hence the question) if it was derogatory.

U know I’m a step in the african American family also ..so I dont know some thangs

Celisea

November 8th, 2013
2:58 pm

Cutie ain’t white?? Knee-grow it is then…I guess :)

Carry on.

Incognito ain’t met the right one yet…plain and simple. I’m a woman and no way Idda buckled under that.

Celisea

November 8th, 2013
3:03 pm

Mmeello – Gotcha. I guess I’m often confused when folks come on and asks about every single ethnic reference, but you can comfortably say “knee-grow?” Again, nothing against YSIC, just wondering.

Leggs

November 8th, 2013
3:07 pm

YSIC ~ that’s weird and funny. I remember when my child was about 5 yrs old and we were at a friend’s house. My friend’s brother asked my daughter something and her response was cute. He then says “go on girl” meaning “I like your answer” but she runs out the room. He asks me where did she go and I said you told her to “go on girl” so she left the room. He told me then to teach her slang. I could only laugh. You reminded of that moment (lol).

Exiled

November 8th, 2013
3:07 pm

He’ll naw..Cutie is black…that’s 2C’s baby! :lol:

….So Cel..if a white dude says ‘negro’..u think it’s inappropriate?

Well u know Martin is Ivy league and his fam is mulatto..so they’re saying(talk show chatter) in the locker room,he was acting bourgee kinda because of his upbringing so he couldn’t feet.

…that’s what I heard. don’t say meelo this..I am just reporting.

Exiled

November 8th, 2013
3:10 pm

Couldn’t fit!
..damn( lol )

DuShawn

November 8th, 2013
3:10 pm

I’m about to have a playaballerific Friday night. Just booked a 4 star hotel downtown for $77.00 per night. Told wifey to drop the kids off to mom’s. Some truly unbelievable shid is about to go down. I’m leaving in 20 mins.

Exiled

November 8th, 2013
3:12 pm

I agree with Opprah tho..blacks must not use the nikka term.

It’s a slap in the face to those who faught in the struggle

Self hate really!

Celisea

November 8th, 2013
3:12 pm

MMeello – So Cel..if a white dude says ‘negro’..u think it’s inappropriate?

I deserve this….don’t I…lol I shoulda kept my fast (as in too grown) mouth closed.

Exiled

November 8th, 2013
3:14 pm

‘Some truly unbelievable shid…’

@DuShawn..it’s in ur mind!

After u hit and start disembarking..u’ll realize it’s same ol shid.

DuShawn

November 8th, 2013
3:21 pm

Ex – naw……bruh…..I’m on another level. If you see a dude stumbling thru downtown with four bad chicks (one of them Asian)….that’s me. Call my name I’ll buy you a drink.

Celisea

November 8th, 2013
3:24 pm

I’m wondering though, MMeello…since you was here when I started blogging. Ever any sucessful relationships as a result of meeting through the blog? I’m just wondering cause really I don’t think it’s impossible or far fetched if folks are for real. I’m not talking folks tryna get dirt to come back and tell or just wanna smash and that’s all. I’m serious. I asked cause there’s that thing always linger of “email me baby” or being somebody’s boo

Exiled

November 8th, 2013
3:34 pm

Enjoy Du!

( I would luv to be on a thresome myself with 2 chic who are phoine and bad bad bad in bed)

Cel..I’m not sure I understand but the blog(Internet) from my perspective,is just good for smash hook ups…not a serious relationship.

From a man’s perspective that is….

I say that because men see and meet women on the streets.

But there is this perception out there(true I think) that desperate women go to the Internet!

So if dude emails u from here(MIA blog) following blog convo,he is angling for cheap azz! :lol:

Sorry Celisea… :lol: is Durty emailing u promising heaven and earth?

Dont believe him! :lol:

YesSheIsCute

November 8th, 2013
3:38 pm

@Leggs I remember the first time I heard someone say “girl bye”. I was like but why are you getting off the phone? :lol:

Celisea

November 8th, 2013
3:39 pm

MMeello – U stoopid…lol I don’t have anyone emailing like that. Haven’t for a minute. Like I said, that ain’t happening here. I wasn’t asking so much from a virtual hookup perspective. I was just asking specifically from the blog. It seems there was one time someone came on saying they got married…or something like that. Not sure if you remember or was blogging that day. That’s been a couple of years ago.

Celisea

November 8th, 2013
3:41 pm

( I would luv to be on a thresome myself with 2 chic who are phoine and bad bad bad in bed)

You ran this past Queen?? Don’t answer….that was truly rhetorical

Leggs

November 8th, 2013
3:45 pm

I will always be amazed by this blog. Some can get away with certain comments while others can say same thing in the same vein and comment is taking way out of context.

AmazonRed needs to make a guest appearance.

Leggs

November 8th, 2013
3:47 pm

There’s been a few relationships that developed from this blog. Lasted a good minute. Supposedly one marriage. Not everyone here hooks up for a quickie.

2CPTG©

November 8th, 2013
3:50 pm

Celie, yes, a marriage has resulted from this blog…….naw boo, it’s not far fetched to bag you a blog dude….hell, if you weren’t boo’d up, you’d be on my radar too…..as it stands, it’s just Cutie, but she cain’t shake nuttin til next year, and Slim scared……and then disco…..well, we all know how tht goes…..an specially since you done calmed down…..lawd hammercy!

daddy swiss

November 8th, 2013
3:55 pm

The old English major is me is always a little bemused by how political correctness warps and obfuscates the language. “Ethnic” vs “non-ethnic,” for example. Obviously, there’s no such thing as a “non-ethnic” person, as everyone has an ethnicity. No real point here, it’s just funny to me how most of us go to such great lengths to avoid specificity in the name of being unoffensive.

Celisea

November 8th, 2013
3:55 pm

2Can – When I first came, I was sooo not open to not doing the meet and greets. Then the few meet-ups blogged about always seem like folks were cool. So, then I thought, why not? Then, then then…..not so much now. I just don’t feel folks meet to geniuely be cool. I can’t say that about everyone, cause there are formed friendships from what I hear, but it’s just not for everyone.

Yeah, I was blogging the day someone came on. That whole thing though went over my head. I only caught it when folks started asking “they got married?” I never knew who it was. Hey, kudos to them.

2CPTG©

November 8th, 2013
4:00 pm

Celie…..

tnymcky2000@yahoo.com

treat it like that emergency glass jar…..or, shoot, even if you just wanna shoot the sh!t….and trust, it’ll never be mentioned…..

Celisea

November 8th, 2013
4:02 pm

old English major is me is always a little bemused by how political correctness warps and obfuscates the language. “Ethnic” vs “non-ethnic,” for example

= Mumbo jumbo…aaaannnnnddddd!!! Try skipping over my posts. That might help the old english major’s bemusement :)

YesSheIsCute

November 8th, 2013
4:02 pm

@Ex If some random dude is spending money, then no. If it’s a guy that I feel is genuinely putting forth effort to make me feel special and is genuinely feeling me that’s a no brainer!