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Dating: Different approach for other races?

I swore I was not going to watch any more reality tv shows set in Atlanta. I tried so hard to avoid The New Atlanta but my hair stylist forced me to watch! There I am sitting under the hair dryer rolling my eyes at what was about to happen next. Then the really gorgeous blonde dude Tribble, Trouble, or whatever his name is caught my attention.

Actually, it was his looks and what he said that made me perk up. He was trying to compose a text to a young lady he was interested in. Since she was black, he sort of second guessed himself on how to phrase his message. As if a black girl required special handling and lingo.

So I ask you dear readers, do you need a different approach for someone who is a different race? Don’t you run the risk as coming off as a jerk if you suddenly switched up the way you behaved or spoke?

Interestingly enough, white guys have told me that they are unsure of whether or not they should approach women of other races differently.

If you have dated other races, did you ever feel that you have to change up your game?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

145 comments Add your comment

Lee

November 7th, 2013
7:11 am

If you have dated other races, did you ever feel that you have to change up your game? Yes i have dated other races, No i didn’t change a thing. Why, a man is a man, now what really depends is how he/she grew up and have different slags to how they relate to different things but that is anyone of any race. People make it more than it is…

Ex – yes i was in a relationship with not so good lovin, but the 99% of the time he was great, i wasn’t going to throw 99% of great away for 1% …..and many women doing that right now.. think about all those guy now that have viagra back in the day people just lived with it and dealt as best they could.. women didn’t divorce them–be cause of the rest of the time is what love comes from. You only use a small fraction of your time “bumping uglies” …

Today is my Friday :)

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
8:38 am

If you have dated other races, did you ever feel that you have to change up your game?

..umm..im sure like with anything,u have to plan and know exactly how to execute ur plan.

A different race means different ways,mores,culture maybe sometimes,lingo,perceptions and all that good stuff. So, yeah,u need to think bout it..and act accordingly.

..if u a black dude trying to approach a white chic..the good thing bout it is u dont have to worry bout the 3 month abstinate sex rule! :lol: (am i right swissie?)

@Lee..it goes both ways…i cant tell u how many times us dudes encounter ladies with dry…ahem…making it such a painful experience and leaving us in a conundrum..she’s phoine and a good girl but it aint happening good there in the sheets. :lol:

Good morning MIA! (soggy soggy day!..this aint sexual) :lol:

YesSheIsCute

November 7th, 2013
9:05 am

Good morning everyone! My day is not starting out so well but I’m determined to have a positive attitude and hope that we (my attitude and the universe) can keep my wavelength positive.

I’ve dated other races before and am still open to doing it. I don’t feel like I have to relate to them any differently. Guys are guys. But I do like to know if they have dated black women before or not so that I can know if this is Tabula Rasa I’m dealing with (where I would have to school him on some things) or not.

The man formerly know as DAN - still...Superior

November 7th, 2013
9:22 am

Ummmm, Ex, the D has never encountered dry…ahem. That sounds like a personal problem.

As for “dating” different races – the D never had to change. More often than not, being Black meant “exotic, new, and a temporary experience.” Everyone was upfront that I wasn’t going home to meet mama and they dang sho wasn’t meeting mine so….it was what it was.

MsAtl

November 7th, 2013
9:39 am

Morning All!

As much as I love Black men, I have to say that at this point, I am open to dating non-Black men. I do not believe that I will have to behave any differently than I do with Black men.

YSIC- Hope your day gets better.

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
9:50 am

That sounds like a personal problem.

@The D..I agree….my conningilus is improving! :lol:

Button

November 7th, 2013
10:04 am

You shouldn’t have to do a different approach when dating outside your race but you should keep in mind the cultural differences and try not to offend the differences. There’s no metamorphosis you have to do. Be yourself and look beyond the skin tone. I date outside my race, it just happens to be that way.

Good morning!

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
10:05 am

YSIC – Are you European or AA? I know you’ve mentioned living overseas

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
10:05 am

Morning All!!

Just came in to say hi. Don’t have anything to offer to the topic really. I would have ventured outside my race if I had not met hubs when I did. If I had, I would have just been myself, not changed lingo or behavior or anything. In fact, I think that would be a bit insulting. For example, don’t assume just because I’m AA that you have to use urban hip-hop lingo to have a conversation with me. The thing I would be most concerned about is respecting real cultural or religious differences. I can respect that all day with friends and people I work and live around. I was not willing to deal with it or convert in my personal life though, which is a big reason why I steered clear.

2CPTG©

November 7th, 2013
10:11 am

morning….

changing up the game for a different race? Not so much now as it used to be; My Generation, GenX, you probably had to switch it up a bit, but my kids’ generation, nah, they’re representing the true melting pot that Uncle Sam claims to be; however, though, demographics play a role in that as well….”Up Top” evolved much faster than us folks down here below the Mason-Dixon; They’re slowly coming around.

YesSheIsCute

November 7th, 2013
10:12 am

@MsAtl thanks… It’s not bad but it’s not a good start.

Button

November 7th, 2013
10:31 am

Kimmie – If I can get a dollar for every Black women that said If I didn’t marry so….I would’ve dated outside my race or at this point I’m opened to…….. Why is that? is it bc it’s a last ditch resort?

Reio

November 7th, 2013
10:32 am

Morning All!

Well, I don’t consider what I did dating women of other races, but, all but one encounters(3 total), occured while serving in the Navy. I guess the military has a different culture. Basically the first two were chance encounters. I was at a party on base and there were many women there. Black , white, Korean, Plilipinas, Latinas…anyway, a guy I knew(white) went over to ask a lady(white) to dance. They danced, they both went to her table to sit. A while later, he comes over and says “Hey, her friends want to know if you were the shy type.” I wasn’t, so I went over to their table, one thing led to another, and I wound up with Roni(Veronica), white chick.

It was a physical relationship. She said that she didn’t trust guys. Been hurt too much and was not ready for a relationship. Too risky. I did meet one of her sisters off base, though. She came to San Diego to visit her and we all went to various places together, for a few days before she left for home(Kentucky).

But I related to her the same way I would have any other woman. We had the Navy in common, so that was the topic of conversation qiute often. Nothing unusual happened. We hung out a while. I was later transferred to the Philippines. And that was that. Sweet lady. Kind. Respectful. Thoughtful. I told her that I thought that she should leave the Navy cause she was capable of much more. She would always laugh at that cause “That’s what my folks are always saying too.” Wonder what happened to Roni.

Button

November 7th, 2013
10:43 am

I never looked at the “race” but the individual. We are all of one race- the human race.

hazel

November 7th, 2013
10:44 am

yes you do have to change your game. I’m from another county and certainly a different culture. I am not used to certain things and prolly won’t respond to a certain type of approach.

hazel

November 7th, 2013
10:44 am

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
10:45 am

Button – At the time I was thinking along those lines, I was open to expanding my dating pool. While I find men of other cultures and races physically attractive, that’s about it. Like I said before, just not willing to deal with cultural & religious differences. That was the biggest factor for me. So if I did step out there, I still would have to find someone whose religion and culture matched closely with mine. A lot more difficult, so yes a last resort. I know it might be irritating to some to here that, but I did what worked for me. My hubs & I have similiar backgrounds and life experiences. Meeting him was like coming home. :)

Button

November 7th, 2013
10:48 am

hazel – if you change your game, how long will you have to keep it up? at some point you’re going to result to default mode then what? you’ve been bamboozled. Dating someone of a different culture is exciting and mind opening. I love it. Some men approach is weak regardless of where they hail from.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
10:49 am

hear, not here

YesSheIsCute

November 7th, 2013
10:51 am

hazel where are you from? I think it is different relating to someone of a different culture and/or different country of origin, but I don’t think your “game” has to change necessarily. You may just have to be a little more strategic in how you play.

Button

November 7th, 2013
10:54 am

Kimmie- I’m not disregarding your decision on who you married, I wanted to know why you felt that dating outside your race was a factor if you didn’t marry your husband? It’s like me saying if I didn’t get married to a man then I would’ve opened up my options to inclulde women.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
11:01 am

Button – As I said earlier, to expand my dating pool and step out of the box. Doing things the same way was getting me the same result, which was not much. I stepped out of my confort zone and met the man that became my husband as a result. Nothing like your example, which would include changing sexual preference.

Button

November 7th, 2013
11:06 am

Kimmie – you’re not answering the question so I’ll leave it alone.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
11:10 am

Button – No I’m answering it, you just don’t like the answer!lol But okay.

Reio

November 7th, 2013
11:26 am

Seems to me that people are people. Women are women. Didn’t see anything vastly different from one race to the other. The only problem was that none of these “relationships” moved anywhere. The second encounter I had was, again, a white woman. Mike Proctor(black guy) had a white girlfriend, again, in San Diego, who had other friends, white chicks, that asked him if he would introduce them to some of his guy friends. My name came up. He told me about it and I said yes. I met several, but Kelly was the one that caught my eye. Mike and I were the only ones in the military. Kelly worked at a hospital there, Balboa Hospital, in administration, I think.

She was from Nevada originally, but moved to California with her folks at a young age. Never met her folks. Met all of her close friends, though. We were both quite young, and I never really got the sense that a real relationship was possible cause I knew that I was there for a number of Navy schools, but would wind up getting transferred overseas (Philippines) eventually anyway.

It was obvious that neither of us had a problem with dating other races. And I treated her like I treated black women. We went out a bit more than I would have preferred, but I remember enjoying the time I was with her. Lots of crazy nights down in Tijuana Mexico, which is right across the border. She knew all the hot spots. The do’s and don’ts of Tijuana. She was fun. I do believe that had I not been just passing through, we may have entered into a real lasting relationship. I don’t know. Never really gave a hoot what race a person was. All but three of my “dates” were black women, however.

DuShawn

November 7th, 2013
11:30 am

“Some men approach is weak regardless……”A couple of weeks ago I was at a sports bar watching the game alone and Wifey and her crew came to join me. My lady has a peanut butter complexion. She brought a chocolate one, our buddy Red and her new friend this Asian chick. (Not to be stereotypical, but she owned a few nail salons.) It was a good look at my table. As the night went on the ladies got lit, everybody’s having a good time. I mingled over to the Asian chick and started a private conversation. Jokingly, I mentioned the myth about Asian vaginas having a horizontal split. Baby, got offended like muffugga. “Man…me don’t like dat shid……dat shid no funny!” I apologized and explained that was not my intent. I was just trying to keep her engaged in the fun, because I noticed the other ladies talking amongst themselves a lot. But honestly, I found myself struggling for something to say. Her ethnicity had me initially a little awkward. As the night went on I smooth it out, but I almost blew it. On a side note – that was a Sunday, I missed work the next day and my mom had to take to kids to school. I felt like a horrible parent when the sun came up.

Reio

November 7th, 2013
11:35 am

Du – “Man…me don’t like dat shid……dat shid no funny!”

Did she really talk like that? Or were you paraphrasing?

DuShawn

November 7th, 2013
11:39 am

naw….bruh that’s verbatim. She was cool, but her English was………challenging to understand.

YesSheIsCute

November 7th, 2013
11:39 am

LMAO @ Du’s “man…me don’t like dat shid….dat shid no funny!” HILARITY! :lol:

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
11:40 am

In terms of Tribble trying to contact Africa via text, I didn’t think that was the way to go. Sure, we’re living in a world where everyone texts; however, when needing to talk with someone for the first time or invite them out it should be by voice…pick up the damn phone!

Culturally, we are different, but one common factor we all have is we are human. Treat everyone the same no matter their nationality. A man is a man, and a woman is a woman. Start with that and all else will fall into place. Women want the same thing from a man, respect, love, security, stability. A man wants the same thing from a woman, have his back, support his dreams, respect him, know he’s the man of house, and fix him a sandwich.

Good morning.

YesSheIsCute

November 7th, 2013
11:41 am

I’m over here crying laughing my coworker like I wanna laugh too! :lol:

YesSheIsCute

November 7th, 2013
11:45 am

Hi Leggs! Did you enjoy the movie?

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
11:54 am

YSIC ~ hello. Haven’t seen it yet, my gf chickened out from going with me on Saturday. Not a movie I want to see alone.

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
11:56 am

kimmie ~ hello! I read your answer and liked your answer.

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
11:57 am

O/T: Did any of you hit 710???

hazel

November 7th, 2013
12:00 pm

@Button and YesSheIsCute- My husband is black and I am from south east Asia. I come from a very conservative culture and traditional family. My husband totally changed his “game” to “get” me and still keeps it up. I really don’t know how to explain it, but he is very much so on point then even men from my country. He knew that he had to be a certain way to be accepted and i don’t think thats a bad thing. He is extremely happy in our marriage, and I treat him like a King and he spoiles me like a Queen. It’s give and take

Durty Burd

November 7th, 2013
12:02 pm

Good Afternoon Folks!

I am not sure what you change but you do change something about your approach! For me I have dated outside of my race and will continue to do so.

About 3 yrs ago I worked in an office where we have several folks who were born in different countries. I became friends with 2 beautiful ladies , one from Salvador and the the other from the Dominican Republic. I joined the ladies for lunch and we discussed a variety of topics including sex. One of the ladies mentioned I see you have already made your choice between the 2 of us. Puzzled, I did not know how to respond because both of them were married. NOTTTT!

Button…Why are u pressing Mrs. Kimmie for an answer? That is how she went about the dating process based upon her likes, her wants and experienc. Like we always say on the blog do you and Mrs. Kimmie was going to edo what she deem the best for her…

Durty Burd

November 7th, 2013
12:05 pm

Lucky Leggs did you hit the 710? O.K. what are you playing now. I will become a diligent player because you are on hot streak… :)

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
12:12 pm

I didn’t hit because I was home sick. I’m somewhat feeling 310, but I don’t have a strong feel for that # but I am feeling it.

YesSheIsCute

November 7th, 2013
12:23 pm

@Leggs I’ve never played the numbers. But I’m seriously considering it. How do you play?

Reio

November 7th, 2013
12:28 pm

Ween got no numbers here, cause ween got sh!t in Alabama!!

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
12:32 pm

YSIC ~ you can find directions are on the back of slip. I play $1 straight and a $1 box for the same number. The more you put on the number obviously the more you will win. $1 straight yields you $500. $.50 straight yields you $250. Always play straight and box because numbers usually come out jumbled than the way you played it. Seems lottery does everything to avoid MY # falling straight (lol). I can’t believe I missed 710, but I was sure Durty hit it….NOT!

Bottom line, play numbers that you feel a connection to. That’s what works for me.

Reio

November 7th, 2013
12:33 pm

The third chick of a different race that I dated was also white, they all were. In Virginia, Norfolk. I was at the Laundromat. One of my dryers was near hers. Initially, when she walked in with her basket, our eyes met, I sorta nodded my head, acknowledging her. One of her dryers stopped, and she came over to empty it. As she did, she dropped a sock, but didn’t notice it, so I walked over, picked it up and handed it to her. She thanked me, we struck up a conversation. A chance encounter. Believe it or not, I would go to that Laundromat every weekend and never saw her there before. After, oh, I don’t know, maybe, three weekends of going there after that chance encounter, she comes in again. We started talking again.

There was a hole-in-the-wall burger place next door. She said that she was going to go there after she finished folding her clothes. So I said “I thought about going there too, but it don’t seem like the nicest of places.”, “Oh, it’s ok. Nicer inside than it looks outside. Never had a burger there, but the nachos are great. You outta try it.”, So, i did. We started talking. One thing led to another, over a, maybe, two week period, we went to see ‘No Way Out’ with Tom Costner. Had to borrow a friend’s car cause mine was still in Alabama. The Navy flew me up to Virginia. But we kicked it for a bit. She was from Virginia, but a city away from Norfolk. I can’t remember the name of the town. She seemed overly interested in what my life was like back here in Alabama. “How big is Birmingham? How many brothers and sisters do you have? How long would a drive from here to there take? Is your mother tall like you? What interstate goes thru there?…..Lots and lots of Alabama/family questions. Again, I treated her like any other woman. Didn’t know how to. And even if I did, I wouldn’t. Take me as I am, or not at all. She seemed to laugh a bit too much at things I would say. Don’t know if she was just tryna appease me or she really thought I was funny. Even the non-jokes seemed to make her laugh. I never gave “acting differently” a second thought with her though.

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
12:41 pm

Like you said, Reio, when Mega/Powerball gets high go across state line (lol). Here’s a tip on Mega, they have a new slip with higher #s. Numbers didn’t go past 58 I think, now they’re go into the 70’s (meaning the 5 #s you can pick from before you pick the powerball #). AND, at least two of the five #s are usually in sequence, i.e, 17, 18 or 28, 29, etc. The entire month of October the lottery gave us a prize for those paying attention. 129 (my #1 cash 3 #) fell everywhere in different sequence in Cash 3 and Cash 4.

Hope that makes sense. Like swiss would say, when you start playing you will see your # everywhere (usually on license plates (lol)) because you’re more aware of it.

Reio

November 7th, 2013
12:46 pm

Well, All we know about here is MegaMillions. We are aware of the Cash 3… stuff, but can’t get there to play often, so we have to wait for the Mega jackpot to get high and show up. Never had sh!t here. Probably never will. Too many republican, teabags and teapots runnin thangs.

Durty Burd

November 7th, 2013
12:50 pm

Lucky Leggs, First how are you feeling? I hope you are feeling better.
Funny thing happened that day, the number was on my mind to play at lunch time by I was quickly side track and forgot to play it at noon…

Reio..When I was 18yrs old I worked in this sports/fitness club. This club exclusive and your income at the time had to be in a certain range. We had a diverse work crew. That was my introduction to other races. Also, some of the older ladies who would come to the club in the late hours were very friendly… hehehehehehe! to a 19yrs old maintenance worker…I kept it on the low…

Button

November 7th, 2013
12:51 pm

Kimmie – it wasn’t that I didn’t like your answer, I was looking for something more profound, more detailed of your feelings and how/what changes if any you were considering to take to expand your dating pool. Your comments are so lively and I was looking for a panited picture instead of a blanket answer.

KCMO

November 7th, 2013
12:52 pm

I don’t think race has anything to do with the way you approach a lady but the environment where she was raised in is more important.

Button

November 7th, 2013
12:57 pm

Hazel – gotcha.

Durty – I’m pressuring Kimmie? LOL no I’m not, I asked a question, no pressuring, I don’t have a gun to her head or anything like that lol

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
1:01 pm

Not sure what bug crawled up in me, but it leveled me flat on my back. Feeling better today, but this scratchy throat and hacking cough is quite annoying. Had to give my tickets away to Robert Glaspher’s concert last night.

Durty ~ when you’re being blocked from paying your # for whatever reason, that’s when you will win!

Durty Burd

November 7th, 2013
1:03 pm

Button and YSCI how many folks have you both dated outside your race?

Reio

November 7th, 2013
1:04 pm

Durty – I kinda know what you’re talking about. Over the years here I’ve been privy to a good bit of information from other fellas. Been to their apartments/homes where other races of women (white, almost exclusively) were around. They (men and women) didn’t seem too interested in any kind of meaningful relationships, primarily physical. The ones that did (men and women) met their mates through others that they knew. In other words, the white women met their black boyfriends through their black female friends/co-workers. Those were the relationships that seemed more stable and lasting. The south has changed quite a lot over the years.

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
1:05 pm

So Reio..u said All that on 12.32 to say what? :lol:

…u cant post that long post without disclosing if u slept with her?….???

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
1:07 pm

Off topic: NeNe is in The Chew. She looks great! I’m really liking her….esp since she put cra cra Kenya in her place. Everyone else was too politically correct to do it…lol

Durty Burd

November 7th, 2013
1:08 pm

Leggs its me, I am the problem, I am getting old and forgetful. lol
I am at the grocery store on the regular I simply forget they have lottery machines, so I could play that night for the noon number. Wait can you do that?

Leggs…Back in Ohio I was always winning concert tickets too! Plus I knew folks who could get me the hook-up at concerts….Now I mostly attend gospel music concerts….Durty luvs some gospel music…

Reio

November 7th, 2013
1:09 pm

Ex – Like i said in the post “But we kicked it for a bit.”

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
1:11 pm

Button ~ too funny, I understand you wanted a more profound answer, but you said she didn’t answer your question. I was a little taken aback, but now I see she didn’t answer it in the way you hoped she would. I now see the difference (lol).

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
1:12 pm

But we kicked it for a bit.

@Reio…i am not african american..so…..is that a euphamism for “hitting it a bit?”

Reio

November 7th, 2013
1:13 pm

Button

November 7th, 2013
1:14 pm

Durty my dating pool has been evenly coated with different ethnicities. I married a non black or as you call it AA man once and about to do it again. My family is full of interracial marriages. I’m panamaniandominicaneuropean and a little bit of something else, we’re still searching our family ancestory.

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
1:14 pm

Celisea ~ thanks, I just changed the channel. I like NeNe too.

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
1:15 pm

There u Go!

@Reio.. :lol:

YesSheIsCute

November 7th, 2013
1:16 pm

@DB I’ve went on quite a few dates with people of different races/nations of origin. Not to give you a run down but there was my first boyfriend that was Czech/German, a few Germans, a Turkish guy, a German-born Pakistani, also went on a date with a German-born Egyptian (who I found out lived in Atlanta for 7 years before I met him in Germany), I went on one date with an Albanian, and and and. I’ve went on a couple dates with white guys since I’ve been stateside and also dated a Nigerian. That’s not an all inclusive list of people that I’ve went out to coffee with or dates with but you get the picture.

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
1:18 pm

Not interested in interacially mixing. There are plenty nonethnic hotties to be admired, but that’s the extent of it for me. Remember the movie with Sanaa Latham and the white dude? See stuff like that kills it for me. I need you to feeeel me and my plight.

Overall, I believe there’s a certain amount of what, I dunno, something there when meshing outside your race. Meaning not quite in your own skin….I could be wrong though. I don’t really see how you can let your hair all the way down without causing or being an offense at some point on on certain topics. Yeah folks hookup, smash but IMO that’s slightly different in reeeaallyy getting someone to see things from your window, being able to build an authentic foundation, so forth and so on.

Button

November 7th, 2013
1:18 pm

Leggs- you were taken aback? but why? I’m glad you see the difference.

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
1:19 pm

Durty ~ yes you can play for next day’s #s. You can also play your # all week then you don’t have to worry about getting to the store. Only thing with that is if your # fell Monday, you lost your $4 for the rest of the week. Wait, you didn’t lose squat if you hit that Monday (lol).

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
1:19 pm

Not interested in interacially mixing..

@Cel….its done outta desperation,PERIOD! :lol:

(let the blog move now!? :lol:

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
1:21 pm

Leggs…..yw

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
1:21 pm

Button ~ I was taken aback because you said she didn’t answer the question when she clearly did. I now see you would have preferred a more detailed answer.

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
1:23 pm

If 310 or 282 fall today, I am gonna be pissed because I can’t get to the store!!

MsAtl

November 7th, 2013
1:24 pm

Leggs- I bought 9 tickets this morning for $4.00! 2 each of MM, PowerBall, Cash 3 & Fantasy 5, plus one Keno. I get buy 1/get 1 free and free Keno coupons from the GA Lottery Corp. Played 182 for the Cash 3.

KCMO

November 7th, 2013
1:27 pm

I will like to know why is it that Black women in Atlanta put so much importance on social states?
I’m finding most women are about image and not man of substance when it comes to dating in Atlanta.
What you are asked first by many women in Atlanta is 1. Name 2.Career 3. Education 4. Fraternities/Sororities.
I’m finding many women are willing to over “things” if he has the right name,career and education.

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
1:29 pm

Mmeelo – lol… I wouldn’t say desperation solely. Not nowadays anyway. I think folks are less guarded about the idea of, but just because folks are less inhibited don’t mean race relations still needs repair.

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
1:30 pm

I didn’t say that all proper…. Hope y’all don’t mind :)

MsAtl

November 7th, 2013
1:31 pm

Celisea- Re: your 1:18… I recall watching “Dances With Wolves” with a White /Native American guy and he turned to me and said “and y’all think y’all had it rough.” I am sure I had the fish mouth for a few seconds.

Button

November 7th, 2013
1:32 pm

Leggs – ohhh you shouldn’t been taken aback though LOL

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
1:35 pm

MsAtl ~ your 182 goes w/my philosophy of one up one down. My 282 and your 182. Good luck!!!

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
1:44 pm

Cel…this playing of numbers to win lotto is against the bible is it not?

….thats the devil right there….altho ima play Power ball myself…i am tired of working.

Cel..the only one thing wrong with interracial dating if u have progeny is, u make ur kids confused!
ur kids are neither pure in any race…..some folks dont wanna accept them as “legit,that race”…it must be hard for interracial families sometimes, i think.

@Reio…so to use modern lingo..u smashed that white chic? :lol:

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
1:55 pm

Ex ~ why ask the question if the answer will still have you playing Powerball (lololo).

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
1:55 pm

MaAtl – I bet

Mmeelo – You tryna start a riot on the lotto issue….lol

Mmeello – I don’t think the only fallout or issue lies with mixed kids as a result. IMO it’s that thing that passes from generation to generations, in blacks and whites (or whatever the race), that most times don’t really stir unless or until someone strikes deep or hard enough. As long as we mix at work, break bread, ride together so forth and so on, IMO we don’t feel what lies beneath and feel it’s all good

Just my thoughts on the topic

hazel

November 7th, 2013
1:58 pm

@exiled – no one is of pure race really. Even my husband who is considered “black” is not 100%. My kids will be known for who they are and what they do in life and not their race. Not pure — shallow statement of the day award

DuShawn

November 7th, 2013
2:07 pm

Imma gone head and share something else with yall. What I have found more challenging than dating differing ethnicities is adjusting ones game to women of different socio-economic standings. In other words, once you’ve grown accustomed to dealing with hustling “use what they got to get what they want“ chicks (i.e. strippers, bar flies, general hood rats), it can become difficult to relate to a normal corporate female that’s not about that life. When I was in my late twenties, right before I went thru my lesbian phase, I enjoyed the company of several street slick females. Occasionally, a nice normal girl would catch my eye. I honestly had to reacclimate myself to the expected decorum when dealing with a square broad. I was so used to women just knowing what time it was, I forgot you had to actually date them and get to know them. I remember this one, in retrospect my behavior was somewhat abrasive and crass, but we dug each other. Unfortunately, I had lost the patience that she deserved long ago. I told her, “Imma give you some bread, over the next few weeks, buy yourself some gifts, go out to eat, get you some flowers. Basically, date yourself. Then come back and give me some azz.”

Button

November 7th, 2013
2:17 pm

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
2:20 pm

Button – Nothing more profound. Just me. I love my men, we have a point of reference that goes deep. I do like what you said earlier about dating other cultures being exciting and mind-opening. That is what I gain from travel and from interacting with others. And there are a few interracial marriages in my family too.

I totally forgot the Italian guy I kissed on my french club trip to Montreal when I was a senior in high school!! Dang, he was a cutie!!

2CPTG©

November 7th, 2013
2:21 pm

date yourself. Then come back and give me some azz.”

real sh!t right there!

YesSheIsCute

November 7th, 2013
2:23 pm

:lol: @ Du. And you’re married now? Darn.

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
2:25 pm

I will say the Publix near my house mostly have booghie patrons…lol And I tell ya, I’ve seen more mxed (white man/black woman) couples there than I’ve seen my entire life. I’m digging it…lol I still stand my not really wanting to dive into something interacially.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
2:28 pm

Exiled – Hazel is so right, very few “pure” race folks left on the planet. When Oprah had her DNA tested, she was like 3% Caucasian, 10% Native American & the rest African. There were folks on my dad’s side and my mom’s that could have “passed” if they chose too, but they didn’t. People say my great grandfather on my mom’s side looked like Amwar Sadat.

The whole shunning folks because they are “not pure” is an extremely outdated mindset.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
2:31 pm

Du – You are crazy, but you keeps it real!!LOL!!

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
2:32 pm

I love brown….browness…..ethnicity….all of it :)

There’s something about a black man…IJS

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
2:55 pm

I luves black men too!

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
3:02 pm

Where is everybody?

2CPTG©

November 7th, 2013
3:04 pm

Where is everybody?

out lookin……

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
3:11 pm

2C – For what?

daddy swiss

November 7th, 2013
3:14 pm

Personally, I think race is way overblown. I have much more in common with Mrs. Swiss, who is not only a different race than me but from an entirely different country, than I do with some of my own damn relatives. We’re all just people. We all have our own unique experiences and perspectives. I think if we could all spend a little less time trying to categorize ourselves into specific “teams” — whether that’s based on race, nationality, class, etc. — and more time embracing our common humanity the world would be a better place.

Now, let’s all join hands and sing… lol

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
3:16 pm

Anybody here like the Ga Tech BB team?

YesSheIsCute

November 7th, 2013
3:17 pm

While we are somewhat on the subject, I really have to say that I am overjoyed that my home state elected a Mayor with an interracial family. It’s one thing to elect a black mayor but it’s another to elect a white mayor with a black family. After the whole stink about the interracial family on the cherrios commercial I really didn’t think any part of the country was ready for this.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
3:24 pm

Leggs – How dare you come on and ask anything about the bee’s!!!!!!

Swiss – Kumbya!!!

2CPTG©

November 7th, 2013
3:25 pm

MsAtl…..where are you??????

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
3:25 pm

And to top that off, YSIC, to be open minded enough to not let past sexual preferences distort their vision. I hope he does an excellent job.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
3:26 pm

Yes – DeBlasio and his family are very impressive.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
3:28 pm

Yes/Leggs – It’s amazing how things work out. Everyone thought Weiner man had it in the bag at first.

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
3:28 pm

Off topic:

You can count on Steve Harvey to tell it like it tis….lololol Sex is the topic of this segment and an unmarried couple wants to know if it’s weird that they’re not really interested in getting down in the bedroom, but other places (i.e. outside….you know, more kinky). Sooo, the therapist asks why not the bedroom and she says it’s not romantic there…video games, bb hoop, etc. Soooo, the therapist suggest they clean the room, put in a pole, yada yada yada. Theeeen Steve asks if they’re married…ut oh…lol She says no. Steve says “looka here, while you’re popping out all them treats, you need to put a cap on that and get a ring outta him. Save the treats for later.”

I just thought that was hi larious and brutally honest….lololol That’s why I love Steve…the talk show host Steve

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
3:29 pm

kimmie ~ :lol: :lol: I only ask because I have free tix to a few of their games.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
3:30 pm

Swiss – How does your family accept your wife?

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
3:30 pm

Hazel sprayed me out so I had to chill….

:lol:

Why u angry at me Hazel ..as if I said some true?

I was jest brainstorming!

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
3:32 pm

Cel…Stevie knows errthing because he is a player.

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
3:34 pm

Powerball?

@Leggs…I asked because I wanted the word so I know.

I always sin with one eye looking out for God…no joke.

If u gon repent to God at some point u gotta know what He wants.

CHurch say Amen!

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
3:44 pm

daddy swiss

November 7th, 2013
3:47 pm

kimmie — They love her. They meaning my dad, brother & sister. My mom passed before I met Mrs. Swiss, but she would have loved her as well — they’re actually a lot alike.

Now, I do have some relatives who I’m sure have their opinions about us, but I’ve long known those relatives were backwoods racist hicks, so I really haven’t associated with them at all since I left home for college. But even those relatives have never had anything to say to me about us on the rare occasions when I actually see them.

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
3:49 pm

YSIC..I think new York is very progressive….in general.

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
3:52 pm

Mmeelo – Yep, she’ll be whooping it up with buddy and he’ll move right on once/if he tires of her. I agree with Steve

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
3:54 pm

Swiss – Sounds like a winner!!

Willie Dynamite

November 7th, 2013
3:54 pm

Afternoon all,

I’ve never “dated” outside of my race. I of course had a few Becky’s but that’s not really dating I guess. My official take is I am all for Love regardless of the race if it is true. I do take issue with some doing it because if perceived stereotypes. The Brother that says all sisters are this or that so he goes and get a white chick. That’s a lame dude. The sister that says all brothers are this and this so she goes and get a whatever. That’s a lame chick. At the end of the day I say date whoever makes you truly happy.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
3:56 pm

Swiss – Both of my parents passed before I met hubs, but I know they would love him. He reminds me alot of my dad. My aunt and uncle that gave me away at my wedding, and all my family, love him.

Reio

November 7th, 2013
3:56 pm

Well let’s just tell it like it is with respect to race. Whatever you go, i.e.; black skin, white skin, hazel eyes, size 9 foot, six fingers on your left hand….You got it from God. At conception. In your mother’s womb. You should be proud and grateful. Those that have a problem with that will have to face that prejudice on judgment day (for those that believe in that). In other words, tell God you had a problem with something he created. I can understand it when some people say “I love me some black/white men/women…..” Not saying that this is the case with any of you, but often times when I hear this, I get the impression that they prefer a certain race, at the exclusion of others. Which I think is wrong. However, we all have our preferences, and if race happens to be one of yours? Have at it. With my blessings.

I will say this, though, over the years, I’ve heard a number of women (no men, I don’t think) say “I’ve been praying for God to send me a good man.” I never asked them this question, (primarily because the women that made this statement, as I recall, were either strangers, or mere acquaintances, secondarily because, basically, it was none of my damn business), but I always wondered whether they, during any of their prayers to God for a “good” man, did they ask for a “good” white man?, a “good” black man?, A “good” man that wears at least a size 10 shoe?, A “good” man that’s not in a wheelchair?……I think not. So, even if God sent them a “good” man, they would have rejected him, cause he wasn’t black, or white, or had a disability. Jus sayin. Jus wondering.

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
4:02 pm

Reio….u should be a Church preacher!

You got a long azz explanation for errthing.. :lol:

daddy swiss

November 7th, 2013
4:03 pm

kimmie — The one regret I have is that I met Mrs. Swiss too late for my mom. Especially now that the little one is here. My mom wanted a granddaughter in the worst way, and little SwissMochette looks exactly like my mom.

Reio

November 7th, 2013
4:03 pm

Ain’t preachin in no church. You can write that down.

Sassy Me

November 7th, 2013
4:10 pm

and little SwissMochette looks exactly like my mom.

Awwwww…that is sooo sweet.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
4:14 pm

Reio – That’s all too deep for me. In my post to Swiss above, a lot about my hubs reminds me of my dad, and other men I respect and love. So I gravitated to him. Yes I do have a preference for my race when it comes to matters of the heart. And, another reason why I never dated outside my race might be because others never really showed an interest and I dated who wanted to date me. Sure, other races have found me attractive and told me so. But none have expressed an interest in dating me.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
4:17 pm

Swiss – That’s my biggest regret too. It hit me and hurt me so bad that my mom was not here the day of my wedding, I weeped like a baby right before the ceremony.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
4:19 pm

I’m outta here gang!

Be easy!

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
4:19 pm

kimmie ~ go piggyback on other races find you attractive but not verbally expressing that interest, I get that quite often. You can see the like/lust/curiosity in their eyes sometimes followed with a compliment, but won’t open their mouths to ask you out on a date. I’m with you, I date those who show an interest in me.

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
4:21 pm

Not “go piggyback,” “to piggyback…”

Reio

November 7th, 2013
4:28 pm

Kimmie – I understand. Believe me, I do. Also, being female you are at a distinct disadvantage. We males, as is expected across all races and cultures, are expected to initiate relationships. It’s up to the female to agree to enter in to it. So, knowing this, it makes it quite a bit more difficult for women to date other races/cultures cause you have to be asked. They don’t ask? No initiated relationship. Not much you can do as a woman. As a man, I can go out and only ask Asian chicks ou, or just white chicks, or just any chick with her left ear partially eaten by a wolf when she went camping with her father at Yosemite National Forest back in 1979, or….so, I understand.

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
4:29 pm

I get the impression that they prefer a certain race, at the exclusion of others.

Yep, that would be my preference :) No explanation will be given.

MsAtl

November 7th, 2013
4:30 pm

Whew! I’m back! Someone give me the quick & dirty!

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
4:31 pm

Just like dudes (or chicks) that have an affinity for all favors or prefer one flavor over another. IMO it’s not different that dating like races. It’s what you have a thing for.

Reio

November 7th, 2013
4:32 pm

Celisea – Ok.

Sassy Me

November 7th, 2013
4:33 pm

You can see the like/lust/curiosity in their eyes sometimes followed with a compliment, but won’t open their mouths to ask you out on a date.

:shock:

So there is a Korean gentleman here(I’ve known for 3 years) that ALWAYS smiles when he sees me, calls me beautiful(loves to compliment my smile) and once in a while he’ll give me a little hug…nothing out of the ordinary.

Then there’s this little Indian man that owns a likka near my house…he’s got the fever,too and it’s obvious but he won’t make a move. Not really sure what I’d do if he did but oh well.

Speaking of that, there’s a Shell gas station run by another persion of Indian descent close to my house. He used to be in that store ALL of the time…then I noticed an AA woman helping him out once in a while. Later found out they were dating and slowly but surely he started spending less time at the gas station. Hell, I don’t even see him there anymore.

Sassy Me

November 7th, 2013
4:35 pm

*likka store*

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
4:37 pm

Durty..please give MsAtl the blog derty derty

daddy swiss

November 7th, 2013
4:37 pm

“Someone give me the quick & dirty!”

ZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPP.

Sorry, that was too obvious to resist. lol

MsAtl

November 7th, 2013
4:39 pm

Sassy Me

November 7th, 2013
4:39 pm

They don’t ask? No initiated relationship. Not much you can do as a woman.

:lol:

Player puhleaze…

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
4:40 pm

SassyMe ~ there’s a pizza shop I used to frequent that is now run by an Indian guy. He has made it know that he wants to take me out on a date, but he’s too touchy feely for my taste. Always putting his hand over mine when I give him my money to pay for my lunch, comes to my table and sits down and put his hand on my knee (of course I brushed it off). To make matters worse, I don’t understand a word coming out of his mouth. His English is atrocious.

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
4:44 pm

Well, can’t say I don’t understand “a word,” just that it’s hard listening trying to think of what is this man actually saying?

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
4:45 pm

Reio – Lemme school you a bit….white dudes are something curious. They been wondering about the forbidden fruit (which is the black woman, btw) for centuries. They’re just noooow getting the courage to cross lines. Like I said, the Publix near my house have more white male to black female couples than I’ve seen collectively my entire life. Trust me, they look, wonder, ponder…it’s written on their face.

We had this bald, fine I might add white dude that’s an exec, up the ladder in our LOB. We invited a few clients in for lunch, a bunch of goodies, a meet and greet and he lead the dang thing. He stared and stared and stared. When I sat down to eat, he walked over and sat with me. I must say, it felt awkard. He broke the ice and asked me what I did, how long I’d been with the business, what I did before transitioning…yada yada yada….

Oh, they’re interested, they just have fully mastered jumping there…crossing lines. Some though are doing okay with it.

Reio

November 7th, 2013
4:47 pm

There is a BP gas station not far from my house, run/owned by a Korean family. Whole damn family works there. Nobody else. Anyway, one of the daughters takes her turn at cashier from time to time. The few times that she was there when I went in, she wanted to talk. Just small talk. The weather, gas prices…Got the impression she was kinda diggin me, but never really thought much of it. One day I go in, looked at the counter area as I walked towards the back for a diet Dr. Pepper. Didn’t see her. Once I get to the counter, there was another customer in front of me. Her father, I think, was the cashier, she was sitting behind and to the left of him. As soon as she saw me, she put a magazine she was reading down, got up, and practically butted her father, I think, outta the way, to wait on me and talk. I thought it was funny. Haven’t seen her in months now. Afraid to ask where she is, cause I never knew her name.

Sassy Me

November 7th, 2013
4:50 pm

Always putting his hand over mine when I give him my money to pay for my lunch, comes to my table and sits down and put his hand on my knee (of course I brushed it off).

See that right there is one reason I haven’t dated other races…I don’t want to satisfy someone’s curiosity. If it’s not genuine interest leave me alone.

Leggs…that’s just nasty wrong of him to do that. The lil one at the likka store will say some snide comments once in a while but when I give him that, “Don’t get f.ckd up” look he backs off with his tail firmly tucked…

Sassy Me

November 7th, 2013
4:55 pm

Alrighty then…

Have a great evening blog.

Stay warm….by any means necessary ;-)

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
4:56 pm

The guy invited me behind the counter on a slow day. Seemed like he wanted to show off in front of his drunken friends sitting in the corner. I said if I come behind that counter I’m going to throw your short a$$ in the oven. His friends fell out laughing.

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
4:57 pm

Name it and claim it, until you do you can’t tame it!” ~ Judge Lynn Toler

ron

November 8th, 2013
7:05 am

Being an older mature black male I’ve been approached by three white females whom I’ve worked with in the past. All three were extremely attractive,educated and professional women, I knew there would be backlash from society and job wise as well. I find there are unique qualities about all women of all races, I do regret that I didn’t pursue an interest or a relationship with these women beyond being a coworker. American society as a whole,particularly whites bring so much hate and backlash when they see a black male with an attractive 115-118 lb white educated professional female. When they see a black male with a white female weighing 200+ they are accepting with ridicule.