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Dating: Different approach for other races?

I swore I was not going to watch any more reality tv shows set in Atlanta. I tried so hard to avoid The New Atlanta but my hair stylist forced me to watch! There I am sitting under the hair dryer rolling my eyes at what was about to happen next. Then the really gorgeous blonde dude Tribble, Trouble, or whatever his name is caught my attention.

Actually, it was his looks and what he said that made me perk up. He was trying to compose a text to a young lady he was interested in. Since she was black, he sort of second guessed himself on how to phrase his message. As if a black girl required special handling and lingo.

So I ask you dear readers, do you need a different approach for someone who is a different race? Don’t you run the risk as coming off as a jerk if you suddenly switched up the way you behaved or spoke?

Interestingly enough, white guys have told me that they are unsure of whether or not they should approach women of other races differently.

If you have dated other races, did you ever feel that you have to change up your game?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

145 comments Add your comment

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
3:26 pm

Yes – DeBlasio and his family are very impressive.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
3:28 pm

Yes/Leggs – It’s amazing how things work out. Everyone thought Weiner man had it in the bag at first.

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
3:28 pm

Off topic:

You can count on Steve Harvey to tell it like it tis….lololol Sex is the topic of this segment and an unmarried couple wants to know if it’s weird that they’re not really interested in getting down in the bedroom, but other places (i.e. outside….you know, more kinky). Sooo, the therapist asks why not the bedroom and she says it’s not romantic there…video games, bb hoop, etc. Soooo, the therapist suggest they clean the room, put in a pole, yada yada yada. Theeeen Steve asks if they’re married…ut oh…lol She says no. Steve says “looka here, while you’re popping out all them treats, you need to put a cap on that and get a ring outta him. Save the treats for later.”

I just thought that was hi larious and brutally honest….lololol That’s why I love Steve…the talk show host Steve

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
3:29 pm

kimmie ~ :lol: :lol: I only ask because I have free tix to a few of their games.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
3:30 pm

Swiss – How does your family accept your wife?

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
3:30 pm

Hazel sprayed me out so I had to chill….

:lol:

Why u angry at me Hazel ..as if I said some true?

I was jest brainstorming!

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
3:32 pm

Cel…Stevie knows errthing because he is a player.

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
3:34 pm

Powerball?

@Leggs…I asked because I wanted the word so I know.

I always sin with one eye looking out for God…no joke.

If u gon repent to God at some point u gotta know what He wants.

CHurch say Amen!

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
3:44 pm

daddy swiss

November 7th, 2013
3:47 pm

kimmie — They love her. They meaning my dad, brother & sister. My mom passed before I met Mrs. Swiss, but she would have loved her as well — they’re actually a lot alike.

Now, I do have some relatives who I’m sure have their opinions about us, but I’ve long known those relatives were backwoods racist hicks, so I really haven’t associated with them at all since I left home for college. But even those relatives have never had anything to say to me about us on the rare occasions when I actually see them.

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
3:49 pm

YSIC..I think new York is very progressive….in general.

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
3:52 pm

Mmeelo – Yep, she’ll be whooping it up with buddy and he’ll move right on once/if he tires of her. I agree with Steve

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
3:54 pm

Swiss – Sounds like a winner!!

Willie Dynamite

November 7th, 2013
3:54 pm

Afternoon all,

I’ve never “dated” outside of my race. I of course had a few Becky’s but that’s not really dating I guess. My official take is I am all for Love regardless of the race if it is true. I do take issue with some doing it because if perceived stereotypes. The Brother that says all sisters are this or that so he goes and get a white chick. That’s a lame dude. The sister that says all brothers are this and this so she goes and get a whatever. That’s a lame chick. At the end of the day I say date whoever makes you truly happy.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
3:56 pm

Swiss – Both of my parents passed before I met hubs, but I know they would love him. He reminds me alot of my dad. My aunt and uncle that gave me away at my wedding, and all my family, love him.

Reio

November 7th, 2013
3:56 pm

Well let’s just tell it like it is with respect to race. Whatever you go, i.e.; black skin, white skin, hazel eyes, size 9 foot, six fingers on your left hand….You got it from God. At conception. In your mother’s womb. You should be proud and grateful. Those that have a problem with that will have to face that prejudice on judgment day (for those that believe in that). In other words, tell God you had a problem with something he created. I can understand it when some people say “I love me some black/white men/women…..” Not saying that this is the case with any of you, but often times when I hear this, I get the impression that they prefer a certain race, at the exclusion of others. Which I think is wrong. However, we all have our preferences, and if race happens to be one of yours? Have at it. With my blessings.

I will say this, though, over the years, I’ve heard a number of women (no men, I don’t think) say “I’ve been praying for God to send me a good man.” I never asked them this question, (primarily because the women that made this statement, as I recall, were either strangers, or mere acquaintances, secondarily because, basically, it was none of my damn business), but I always wondered whether they, during any of their prayers to God for a “good” man, did they ask for a “good” white man?, a “good” black man?, A “good” man that wears at least a size 10 shoe?, A “good” man that’s not in a wheelchair?……I think not. So, even if God sent them a “good” man, they would have rejected him, cause he wasn’t black, or white, or had a disability. Jus sayin. Jus wondering.

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
4:02 pm

Reio….u should be a Church preacher!

You got a long azz explanation for errthing.. :lol:

daddy swiss

November 7th, 2013
4:03 pm

kimmie — The one regret I have is that I met Mrs. Swiss too late for my mom. Especially now that the little one is here. My mom wanted a granddaughter in the worst way, and little SwissMochette looks exactly like my mom.

Reio

November 7th, 2013
4:03 pm

Ain’t preachin in no church. You can write that down.

Sassy Me

November 7th, 2013
4:10 pm

and little SwissMochette looks exactly like my mom.

Awwwww…that is sooo sweet.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
4:14 pm

Reio – That’s all too deep for me. In my post to Swiss above, a lot about my hubs reminds me of my dad, and other men I respect and love. So I gravitated to him. Yes I do have a preference for my race when it comes to matters of the heart. And, another reason why I never dated outside my race might be because others never really showed an interest and I dated who wanted to date me. Sure, other races have found me attractive and told me so. But none have expressed an interest in dating me.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
4:17 pm

Swiss – That’s my biggest regret too. It hit me and hurt me so bad that my mom was not here the day of my wedding, I weeped like a baby right before the ceremony.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
4:19 pm

I’m outta here gang!

Be easy!

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
4:19 pm

kimmie ~ go piggyback on other races find you attractive but not verbally expressing that interest, I get that quite often. You can see the like/lust/curiosity in their eyes sometimes followed with a compliment, but won’t open their mouths to ask you out on a date. I’m with you, I date those who show an interest in me.

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
4:21 pm

Not “go piggyback,” “to piggyback…”

Reio

November 7th, 2013
4:28 pm

Kimmie – I understand. Believe me, I do. Also, being female you are at a distinct disadvantage. We males, as is expected across all races and cultures, are expected to initiate relationships. It’s up to the female to agree to enter in to it. So, knowing this, it makes it quite a bit more difficult for women to date other races/cultures cause you have to be asked. They don’t ask? No initiated relationship. Not much you can do as a woman. As a man, I can go out and only ask Asian chicks ou, or just white chicks, or just any chick with her left ear partially eaten by a wolf when she went camping with her father at Yosemite National Forest back in 1979, or….so, I understand.

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
4:29 pm

I get the impression that they prefer a certain race, at the exclusion of others.

Yep, that would be my preference :) No explanation will be given.

MsAtl

November 7th, 2013
4:30 pm

Whew! I’m back! Someone give me the quick & dirty!

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
4:31 pm

Just like dudes (or chicks) that have an affinity for all favors or prefer one flavor over another. IMO it’s not different that dating like races. It’s what you have a thing for.

Reio

November 7th, 2013
4:32 pm

Celisea – Ok.

Sassy Me

November 7th, 2013
4:33 pm

You can see the like/lust/curiosity in their eyes sometimes followed with a compliment, but won’t open their mouths to ask you out on a date.

:shock:

So there is a Korean gentleman here(I’ve known for 3 years) that ALWAYS smiles when he sees me, calls me beautiful(loves to compliment my smile) and once in a while he’ll give me a little hug…nothing out of the ordinary.

Then there’s this little Indian man that owns a likka near my house…he’s got the fever,too and it’s obvious but he won’t make a move. Not really sure what I’d do if he did but oh well.

Speaking of that, there’s a Shell gas station run by another persion of Indian descent close to my house. He used to be in that store ALL of the time…then I noticed an AA woman helping him out once in a while. Later found out they were dating and slowly but surely he started spending less time at the gas station. Hell, I don’t even see him there anymore.

Sassy Me

November 7th, 2013
4:35 pm

*likka store*

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
4:37 pm

Durty..please give MsAtl the blog derty derty

daddy swiss

November 7th, 2013
4:37 pm

“Someone give me the quick & dirty!”

ZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPP.

Sorry, that was too obvious to resist. lol

MsAtl

November 7th, 2013
4:39 pm

Sassy Me

November 7th, 2013
4:39 pm

They don’t ask? No initiated relationship. Not much you can do as a woman.

:lol:

Player puhleaze…

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
4:40 pm

SassyMe ~ there’s a pizza shop I used to frequent that is now run by an Indian guy. He has made it know that he wants to take me out on a date, but he’s too touchy feely for my taste. Always putting his hand over mine when I give him my money to pay for my lunch, comes to my table and sits down and put his hand on my knee (of course I brushed it off). To make matters worse, I don’t understand a word coming out of his mouth. His English is atrocious.

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
4:44 pm

Well, can’t say I don’t understand “a word,” just that it’s hard listening trying to think of what is this man actually saying?

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
4:45 pm

Reio – Lemme school you a bit….white dudes are something curious. They been wondering about the forbidden fruit (which is the black woman, btw) for centuries. They’re just noooow getting the courage to cross lines. Like I said, the Publix near my house have more white male to black female couples than I’ve seen collectively my entire life. Trust me, they look, wonder, ponder…it’s written on their face.

We had this bald, fine I might add white dude that’s an exec, up the ladder in our LOB. We invited a few clients in for lunch, a bunch of goodies, a meet and greet and he lead the dang thing. He stared and stared and stared. When I sat down to eat, he walked over and sat with me. I must say, it felt awkard. He broke the ice and asked me what I did, how long I’d been with the business, what I did before transitioning…yada yada yada….

Oh, they’re interested, they just have fully mastered jumping there…crossing lines. Some though are doing okay with it.

Reio

November 7th, 2013
4:47 pm

There is a BP gas station not far from my house, run/owned by a Korean family. Whole damn family works there. Nobody else. Anyway, one of the daughters takes her turn at cashier from time to time. The few times that she was there when I went in, she wanted to talk. Just small talk. The weather, gas prices…Got the impression she was kinda diggin me, but never really thought much of it. One day I go in, looked at the counter area as I walked towards the back for a diet Dr. Pepper. Didn’t see her. Once I get to the counter, there was another customer in front of me. Her father, I think, was the cashier, she was sitting behind and to the left of him. As soon as she saw me, she put a magazine she was reading down, got up, and practically butted her father, I think, outta the way, to wait on me and talk. I thought it was funny. Haven’t seen her in months now. Afraid to ask where she is, cause I never knew her name.

Sassy Me

November 7th, 2013
4:50 pm

Always putting his hand over mine when I give him my money to pay for my lunch, comes to my table and sits down and put his hand on my knee (of course I brushed it off).

See that right there is one reason I haven’t dated other races…I don’t want to satisfy someone’s curiosity. If it’s not genuine interest leave me alone.

Leggs…that’s just nasty wrong of him to do that. The lil one at the likka store will say some snide comments once in a while but when I give him that, “Don’t get f.ckd up” look he backs off with his tail firmly tucked…

Sassy Me

November 7th, 2013
4:55 pm

Alrighty then…

Have a great evening blog.

Stay warm….by any means necessary ;-)

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
4:56 pm

The guy invited me behind the counter on a slow day. Seemed like he wanted to show off in front of his drunken friends sitting in the corner. I said if I come behind that counter I’m going to throw your short a$$ in the oven. His friends fell out laughing.

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
4:57 pm

Name it and claim it, until you do you can’t tame it!” ~ Judge Lynn Toler

ron

November 8th, 2013
7:05 am

Being an older mature black male I’ve been approached by three white females whom I’ve worked with in the past. All three were extremely attractive,educated and professional women, I knew there would be backlash from society and job wise as well. I find there are unique qualities about all women of all races, I do regret that I didn’t pursue an interest or a relationship with these women beyond being a coworker. American society as a whole,particularly whites bring so much hate and backlash when they see a black male with an attractive 115-118 lb white educated professional female. When they see a black male with a white female weighing 200+ they are accepting with ridicule.