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Dating: Different approach for other races?

I swore I was not going to watch any more reality tv shows set in Atlanta. I tried so hard to avoid The New Atlanta but my hair stylist forced me to watch! There I am sitting under the hair dryer rolling my eyes at what was about to happen next. Then the really gorgeous blonde dude Tribble, Trouble, or whatever his name is caught my attention.

Actually, it was his looks and what he said that made me perk up. He was trying to compose a text to a young lady he was interested in. Since she was black, he sort of second guessed himself on how to phrase his message. As if a black girl required special handling and lingo.

So I ask you dear readers, do you need a different approach for someone who is a different race? Don’t you run the risk as coming off as a jerk if you suddenly switched up the way you behaved or spoke?

Interestingly enough, white guys have told me that they are unsure of whether or not they should approach women of other races differently.

If you have dated other races, did you ever feel that you have to change up your game?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

145 comments Add your comment

Durty Burd

November 7th, 2013
1:03 pm

Button and YSCI how many folks have you both dated outside your race?

Reio

November 7th, 2013
1:04 pm

Durty – I kinda know what you’re talking about. Over the years here I’ve been privy to a good bit of information from other fellas. Been to their apartments/homes where other races of women (white, almost exclusively) were around. They (men and women) didn’t seem too interested in any kind of meaningful relationships, primarily physical. The ones that did (men and women) met their mates through others that they knew. In other words, the white women met their black boyfriends through their black female friends/co-workers. Those were the relationships that seemed more stable and lasting. The south has changed quite a lot over the years.

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
1:05 pm

So Reio..u said All that on 12.32 to say what? :lol:

…u cant post that long post without disclosing if u slept with her?….???

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
1:07 pm

Off topic: NeNe is in The Chew. She looks great! I’m really liking her….esp since she put cra cra Kenya in her place. Everyone else was too politically correct to do it…lol

Durty Burd

November 7th, 2013
1:08 pm

Leggs its me, I am the problem, I am getting old and forgetful. lol
I am at the grocery store on the regular I simply forget they have lottery machines, so I could play that night for the noon number. Wait can you do that?

Leggs…Back in Ohio I was always winning concert tickets too! Plus I knew folks who could get me the hook-up at concerts….Now I mostly attend gospel music concerts….Durty luvs some gospel music…

Reio

November 7th, 2013
1:09 pm

Ex – Like i said in the post “But we kicked it for a bit.”

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
1:11 pm

Button ~ too funny, I understand you wanted a more profound answer, but you said she didn’t answer your question. I was a little taken aback, but now I see she didn’t answer it in the way you hoped she would. I now see the difference (lol).

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
1:12 pm

But we kicked it for a bit.

@Reio…i am not african american..so…..is that a euphamism for “hitting it a bit?”

Reio

November 7th, 2013
1:13 pm

Button

November 7th, 2013
1:14 pm

Durty my dating pool has been evenly coated with different ethnicities. I married a non black or as you call it AA man once and about to do it again. My family is full of interracial marriages. I’m panamaniandominicaneuropean and a little bit of something else, we’re still searching our family ancestory.

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
1:14 pm

Celisea ~ thanks, I just changed the channel. I like NeNe too.

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
1:15 pm

There u Go!

@Reio.. :lol:

YesSheIsCute

November 7th, 2013
1:16 pm

@DB I’ve went on quite a few dates with people of different races/nations of origin. Not to give you a run down but there was my first boyfriend that was Czech/German, a few Germans, a Turkish guy, a German-born Pakistani, also went on a date with a German-born Egyptian (who I found out lived in Atlanta for 7 years before I met him in Germany), I went on one date with an Albanian, and and and. I’ve went on a couple dates with white guys since I’ve been stateside and also dated a Nigerian. That’s not an all inclusive list of people that I’ve went out to coffee with or dates with but you get the picture.

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
1:18 pm

Not interested in interacially mixing. There are plenty nonethnic hotties to be admired, but that’s the extent of it for me. Remember the movie with Sanaa Latham and the white dude? See stuff like that kills it for me. I need you to feeeel me and my plight.

Overall, I believe there’s a certain amount of what, I dunno, something there when meshing outside your race. Meaning not quite in your own skin….I could be wrong though. I don’t really see how you can let your hair all the way down without causing or being an offense at some point on on certain topics. Yeah folks hookup, smash but IMO that’s slightly different in reeeaallyy getting someone to see things from your window, being able to build an authentic foundation, so forth and so on.

Button

November 7th, 2013
1:18 pm

Leggs- you were taken aback? but why? I’m glad you see the difference.

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
1:19 pm

Durty ~ yes you can play for next day’s #s. You can also play your # all week then you don’t have to worry about getting to the store. Only thing with that is if your # fell Monday, you lost your $4 for the rest of the week. Wait, you didn’t lose squat if you hit that Monday (lol).

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
1:19 pm

Not interested in interacially mixing..

@Cel….its done outta desperation,PERIOD! :lol:

(let the blog move now!? :lol:

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
1:21 pm

Leggs…..yw

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
1:21 pm

Button ~ I was taken aback because you said she didn’t answer the question when she clearly did. I now see you would have preferred a more detailed answer.

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
1:23 pm

If 310 or 282 fall today, I am gonna be pissed because I can’t get to the store!!

MsAtl

November 7th, 2013
1:24 pm

Leggs- I bought 9 tickets this morning for $4.00! 2 each of MM, PowerBall, Cash 3 & Fantasy 5, plus one Keno. I get buy 1/get 1 free and free Keno coupons from the GA Lottery Corp. Played 182 for the Cash 3.

KCMO

November 7th, 2013
1:27 pm

I will like to know why is it that Black women in Atlanta put so much importance on social states?
I’m finding most women are about image and not man of substance when it comes to dating in Atlanta.
What you are asked first by many women in Atlanta is 1. Name 2.Career 3. Education 4. Fraternities/Sororities.
I’m finding many women are willing to over “things” if he has the right name,career and education.

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
1:29 pm

Mmeelo – lol… I wouldn’t say desperation solely. Not nowadays anyway. I think folks are less guarded about the idea of, but just because folks are less inhibited don’t mean race relations still needs repair.

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
1:30 pm

I didn’t say that all proper…. Hope y’all don’t mind :)

MsAtl

November 7th, 2013
1:31 pm

Celisea- Re: your 1:18… I recall watching “Dances With Wolves” with a White /Native American guy and he turned to me and said “and y’all think y’all had it rough.” I am sure I had the fish mouth for a few seconds.

Button

November 7th, 2013
1:32 pm

Leggs – ohhh you shouldn’t been taken aback though LOL

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
1:35 pm

MsAtl ~ your 182 goes w/my philosophy of one up one down. My 282 and your 182. Good luck!!!

Exiled

November 7th, 2013
1:44 pm

Cel…this playing of numbers to win lotto is against the bible is it not?

….thats the devil right there….altho ima play Power ball myself…i am tired of working.

Cel..the only one thing wrong with interracial dating if u have progeny is, u make ur kids confused!
ur kids are neither pure in any race…..some folks dont wanna accept them as “legit,that race”…it must be hard for interracial families sometimes, i think.

@Reio…so to use modern lingo..u smashed that white chic? :lol:

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
1:55 pm

Ex ~ why ask the question if the answer will still have you playing Powerball (lololo).

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
1:55 pm

MaAtl – I bet

Mmeelo – You tryna start a riot on the lotto issue….lol

Mmeello – I don’t think the only fallout or issue lies with mixed kids as a result. IMO it’s that thing that passes from generation to generations, in blacks and whites (or whatever the race), that most times don’t really stir unless or until someone strikes deep or hard enough. As long as we mix at work, break bread, ride together so forth and so on, IMO we don’t feel what lies beneath and feel it’s all good

Just my thoughts on the topic

hazel

November 7th, 2013
1:58 pm

@exiled – no one is of pure race really. Even my husband who is considered “black” is not 100%. My kids will be known for who they are and what they do in life and not their race. Not pure — shallow statement of the day award

DuShawn

November 7th, 2013
2:07 pm

Imma gone head and share something else with yall. What I have found more challenging than dating differing ethnicities is adjusting ones game to women of different socio-economic standings. In other words, once you’ve grown accustomed to dealing with hustling “use what they got to get what they want“ chicks (i.e. strippers, bar flies, general hood rats), it can become difficult to relate to a normal corporate female that’s not about that life. When I was in my late twenties, right before I went thru my lesbian phase, I enjoyed the company of several street slick females. Occasionally, a nice normal girl would catch my eye. I honestly had to reacclimate myself to the expected decorum when dealing with a square broad. I was so used to women just knowing what time it was, I forgot you had to actually date them and get to know them. I remember this one, in retrospect my behavior was somewhat abrasive and crass, but we dug each other. Unfortunately, I had lost the patience that she deserved long ago. I told her, “Imma give you some bread, over the next few weeks, buy yourself some gifts, go out to eat, get you some flowers. Basically, date yourself. Then come back and give me some azz.”

Button

November 7th, 2013
2:17 pm

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
2:20 pm

Button – Nothing more profound. Just me. I love my men, we have a point of reference that goes deep. I do like what you said earlier about dating other cultures being exciting and mind-opening. That is what I gain from travel and from interacting with others. And there are a few interracial marriages in my family too.

I totally forgot the Italian guy I kissed on my french club trip to Montreal when I was a senior in high school!! Dang, he was a cutie!!

2CPTG©

November 7th, 2013
2:21 pm

date yourself. Then come back and give me some azz.”

real sh!t right there!

YesSheIsCute

November 7th, 2013
2:23 pm

:lol: @ Du. And you’re married now? Darn.

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
2:25 pm

I will say the Publix near my house mostly have booghie patrons…lol And I tell ya, I’ve seen more mxed (white man/black woman) couples there than I’ve seen my entire life. I’m digging it…lol I still stand my not really wanting to dive into something interacially.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
2:28 pm

Exiled – Hazel is so right, very few “pure” race folks left on the planet. When Oprah had her DNA tested, she was like 3% Caucasian, 10% Native American & the rest African. There were folks on my dad’s side and my mom’s that could have “passed” if they chose too, but they didn’t. People say my great grandfather on my mom’s side looked like Amwar Sadat.

The whole shunning folks because they are “not pure” is an extremely outdated mindset.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
2:31 pm

Du – You are crazy, but you keeps it real!!LOL!!

Celisea

November 7th, 2013
2:32 pm

I love brown….browness…..ethnicity….all of it :)

There’s something about a black man…IJS

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
2:55 pm

I luves black men too!

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
3:02 pm

Where is everybody?

2CPTG©

November 7th, 2013
3:04 pm

Where is everybody?

out lookin……

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
3:11 pm

2C – For what?

daddy swiss

November 7th, 2013
3:14 pm

Personally, I think race is way overblown. I have much more in common with Mrs. Swiss, who is not only a different race than me but from an entirely different country, than I do with some of my own damn relatives. We’re all just people. We all have our own unique experiences and perspectives. I think if we could all spend a little less time trying to categorize ourselves into specific “teams” — whether that’s based on race, nationality, class, etc. — and more time embracing our common humanity the world would be a better place.

Now, let’s all join hands and sing… lol

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
3:16 pm

Anybody here like the Ga Tech BB team?

YesSheIsCute

November 7th, 2013
3:17 pm

While we are somewhat on the subject, I really have to say that I am overjoyed that my home state elected a Mayor with an interracial family. It’s one thing to elect a black mayor but it’s another to elect a white mayor with a black family. After the whole stink about the interracial family on the cherrios commercial I really didn’t think any part of the country was ready for this.

kimmie

November 7th, 2013
3:24 pm

Leggs – How dare you come on and ask anything about the bee’s!!!!!!

Swiss – Kumbya!!!

2CPTG©

November 7th, 2013
3:25 pm

MsAtl…..where are you??????

Leggs

November 7th, 2013
3:25 pm

And to top that off, YSIC, to be open minded enough to not let past sexual preferences distort their vision. I hope he does an excellent job.